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EPILOGUE – Two Years Later
The familiar sound of gravel crunching under the tires plays like a memory of an old comforting song in Sonny’s ears. It’s the sound of hope and promise. It’s the sound that gives Sonny goosebumps up and down his arms born from the love hearing it calls to mind. From the first time he heard this sound, here, at the house on the lake, his heart has gone through insane growth, unfathomable change, immeasurable joy. He first drove up to this mountain, this lake, this cabin, a single, lonely man longing for the love of Amanda Rollins and her daughters in his life but afraid to push past the discomfort… past the fear of vulnerability and change not going his way. Back then, though, status quo was no longer an option. He was at a crossroad, his heart, his mind, his soul needing answers that only Amanda could give him. With the quiet understanding and gentle push of a loving attentive father, Sonny took a leap into the deep end. He has been rewarded literally every single day since the first, when he heard that sound of this gravel under his tires…
The moon is high and bright casting brilliant white light on the still water of the lake, showcasing the tiny ripples made by a fish or turtle surfacing briefly before disappearing into the dark depths again. Sonny listens to the earth sounds around him… the soothing and mesmerizing symphony of nature. Words aren’t needed in this bubble of time as he sits in an Adirondack chair on the dock where he first kissed Amanda two years ago. Now, he cuddles his infant son to his chest in the exact same spot with the same moonlight illuminating the baby’s beautiful peaceful face turned up in slumber toward the sky. Sonny waits for the baby’s mother… his wife… Amanda. Impossible things will forever be possible to Sonny, now that he has the family he always wanted… in theory and most specifically. Amanda belongs to him, but more unbelievable in his mind, Sonny belongs to her. They have three children now, and on this third annual Carisi Family Vacation, were awarded the largest bedroom to accommodate them. A solitary man… the brother in a family of sisters… the only son of Serafina and Dominick… his life more closely emulates that of his father’s now.
Looking onto his son’s perfect face, Sonny becomes emotional. He knew it would happen as soon as he sat out here on this dock… that tears would come. Lost in his thoughts of their past visits… how his father was such a tremendous support pushing Sonny to go after the life he wanted with Amanda Rollins… his days are full and rewarding and spectacular. It worked out so perfectly that the second annual Carisi Family Vacation included an exchange of vows on this very same dock with his whole family in attendance… and an announcement that by the same time next year, there would be one more Carisi to join the fun.
Most parents think they can’t possibly love a new child as much as the ones they have already, but Sonny knew his heart would adjust accordingly. It always has. He fell head over heels in love with Jesse and she wasn’t even his to love back then. Billie was different… so much fear and trepidation surrounding that time… worrying if he would get the chance to love her as much, and as fully, as he loves Jesse. In the end, his daughters were always meant to be his… in so many ways. This baby boy… the love Sonny feels… isn’t at all different… a parent’s love for a child is just that. The part that’s different with Dominick, Sonny was free to openly love him from the moment of conception. Here, on a dock at the lake in the moonlight, Sonny hopes he can be as good a father as his own… a man who raised daughters and a son with the same love given in the ways each needed it. A son… a little boy for Sonny to bestow wisdom upon and share secrets… to commiserate with over having older sisters, and to teach how to support and protect the phenomenal women in his life… is the completion of his beautiful family. This child is the perfect blend of his mother and his father… but, if Sonny is being honest, a bit more physically like his dad. He’s long-limbed with a tiny cleft in his chin, dimples, and the same glacier blue eyes. He can’t get enough of this guy, nor can Little Dominick settle down quite the way he does when his Daddy has him against his beating heart. Two peas in a pod, Amanda calls them.
“You’re going to spoil him.”
“Ya say that a lot. I think ya jealous. When he’s here on me, you can’t be. And let’s be honest, Amanda, ya usually all over me.”
“Mhmm… that’s exactly right… same as you when I’m nursing him… the way you sit with us, hold us, wrap us up in your arms. Can’t stand sharing me, can you?”
“Makin’ up for the times I wasn’t in a position ta hold ya while ya nursed the girls. If I can gather ya all up and keep ya close ta me, I’ll do it every time. Ya know that.”
Amanda sits half in his lap and half on the arm of the chair, her fingers threading through Sonny’s hair as he leans his head on her chest.
“I still can’t believe we did this, ‘Manda. We MADE him. Ya probably tired-a me sayin’ it but… wow.”
The wonder in his voice resounds over the still water and through the trees, across the cloudless sky and back to him. He doesn’t believe this is real sometimes. A life so full born from one so lonely in such a short time. The evenings, the dark of night, were heartbreaking for a man so giving… a heart so full… so meant for family. This same lonely time of day is now the most joyful. Making dinner, reviewing homework, having conversations with the girls, putting his children to bed, spending grown-up time with Amanda… it’s all a fever dream to him. He thought for so long that being blessed with two fulfilling careers, an amazing upbringing, lifelong friends… true love and a family of his own would be the one evasive thing… the thing that wouldn’t be his. He can’t help the tears that leak from his eyes.
“Hey… you good?”
“Yeah. More than. It’s just… a… a lot sometimes, ya know?”
“Actually, yes, I do. I love you to that gorgeous moon and back Dominick Carisi, Jr.”
“I won’t ever get tired-a hearin’ that. I love ya, too.”
“I thought of something driving up here this morning.”
“Should I be scared?”
“Mmmm… definitely not. We established a… tradition of sorts… for our first night here. Not sure if you realize it but… we have made out like horny teenagers here on the dock each of our two previous first nights of vacation.”
“Oh, I remember… and not just makin’ out. You, Amanda Rollins, have fucked me behind that shed two years runnin’. It would be an absolute shame if the streak ended t’night.”
Her fingers dance over the sensitive skin of his neck, toy with the shell of his ear, gently scratch his scalp. He chuckles kissing her jaw, nibbling, licking.
“We can always slip into the shower or fool around very quietly in bed,” she whispers against his lips. “We’re the parents of three now… probably should be more discreet.”
He tilts his face to look at her, almost believing that she’s serious. The smirk on her lips and the gleam in her eyes sets a fire low in his belly.
“Why don’t I go bring our son into the house? Grab the baby monitor… meet you… over there,” she hums with a nod of her head in the direction of the shed.
“Lemme take care-a the baby… keep the movement ta the absolute minimum. Don’t want a cryin’ hungry guy ruinin’ tradition. Wait for me right here.”
“My pleasure, Counselor.”
She rises off the arm of the chair so he can stand. He turns to give her access to Baby Dominick for a kiss good night, and once she does, he redirects her mouth to his for a brief but promising kiss of his own. The house is quiet with the older children asleep already. His siblings are all sitting around upstairs in the loft catching up on neighborhood gossip, and his parents are watching tv in the living room. The senior Carisis smile at their son with his son strapped to his chest as he pads through the room… to the end of the long hall… to put the baby down. He returns with the baby monitor in hand and a smile for his parents, making a stop in the kitchen for a bottle of wine. His father follows him there.
“Hey, Pop. Kids are all asleep nice and early. Always knocked out on day one.”
“Good. They’ll sleep well. Date with your wife? Out on the dock?”
“Yeah. Yeah,” he responds a little bit surprised that his father remembers that.
“Why doncha let me take that monitor? Ya Ma and I got this. Don’t forget the blanket. I… uh… I left it for ya by the door.”
“Thanks… Pop. Thank you.”
“Have fun, Kiddo,” Dom says with a pat on his son’s back, “and remember… sound carries out there on the water.” He winks, and Sonny turns bright red.
He chuckles to himself on the way down to the dock. Amanda’s silhouette in the moonlight standing at the edge as if she’s contemplating a swim stops him dead in his tracks. He is unmoving for a moment long enough to drink her in. She’s ethereal. He is completely in love. She turns and sees him watching her and she takes a few steps toward him, hand outstretched.
“Here you are,” she giggles. “I thought you forgot about me.”
Sonny puts his armload down and pulls her to him. His kiss is sudden and searing. He doesn’t hesitate… just falls in deeply and fully. Need courses through him, his body on fire. It’s like their first time… he made so many promises to her and to himself to make their initial union storybook perfect, but the dam broke, and they couldn’t hold back. Everything happened exactly the way it was meant to happen. The excitement, the rush, the force of their attraction… what’s between them, Sonny and Amanda, is the rarest form of partnership. It’s love on every level. The big bonus… the thing that puts it over the top… pure unadulterated joy. They are fun and silly and sexy and serious. They laugh and tease, promise and execute, wait and rush ahead at every turn. It was inevitable, this union of souls… they just needed to be ready for it.
“How could I ever forget ya? You’re the other half-a me.” He kisses her again, more softly, more sweetly. “My dad took the monitor and gave me a blanket… then he winked… reminded me voices carry. The jig is up, gorgeous. They’re on ta us.”
“Now, that’s completely mortifying.”
“At least this time we’re married. Third time’s the charm.”
“Ugh,” she sighs.
Amanda slips from Sonny’s embrace and spreads the blanket, sits with the bottle of wine… opens it and pours. Holding out a glass to Sonny, Amanda pulls it back as he reaches for it, leaning in for another kiss. She repeats the soft, unhurried vibe of his last kisses to her. They smile into each other, and her giggles are music to him.
“Happy Anniversary week. Can ya believe it’s been a year since the weddin’?”
“Yes and no. You’ve been such a huge part of my life… loving you… it feels like forever… but this part… the sexy stuff… still feels so brand new. You look at me sometimes and my belly flips and my heart races and I can’t believe you’re mine.”
“Amanda Rollins, I…”
“Rollins-Carisi.”
“You’ll always be my Rollins… ya name is the last thing that speaks about who ya are ta me. I don’t know how ta… ta tell ya the things I… I have in my heart. The words are hard sometimes… they don’t always come ta me the way I want them. I try so hard ta show ya… you and the kids… every day, ‘Manda, because ta simply say I love ya doesn’t… seem like enough.”
“Oh, Sonny… you make all our lives better. All of us. Me, and the girls, the baby… this whole house of people. You are adored. I love you. We all do. Thank YOU for loving us.”
Amanda holds her glass up to toast a year of wedded bliss. Sonny wraps his arm around hers bringing his glass to his lips while drawing her closer to him. They sip and they smile, and they kiss some more. They love to kiss. They kiss each other so much that the girls are embarrassed by it. They kiss chastely with knowing glances and secret whispers promising so much more. They kiss deeply and sensuously when they steal moments alone. It’s Sonny’s favorite thing… so simple a thing… a kiss, but the symbolism of it… he belongs.
Amanda, finally feeling like herself again, the baby weight all but 5 pounds gone, is horny as hell and ready to play with her man. She looks into his icy blue eyes in the white light of the moon and feels every nerve ending come alive.
“I never blew a married man in the woods before.”
His laugh is louder than he intends but she does that to him… catches him off guard with her sexy, silly ways.
“Ya sure about that? I mean we had a few days here after the weddin’.”
“Mmm… in the house… the shower if I remember correctly… doesn’t really count as being IN THE WOODS.”
She stands up and reaches for her husband. He finishes the wine in his glass and grabbing the blanket, lets her lead him away from the house into the tiny clearing behind the storage shed. If the back wall of this shed could talk, it would have quite a story to tell about Mr. and Mrs. Sonny Carisi. He folds the blanket and drops it to the ground as he takes his wife into his arms.
“Ta think I’m at a point in my life where I can tell ya how much I’d love an Amanda Rollins… Carisi… an Amanda Rollins-Carisi blow job right now is kinda miraculous.”
“I’d do anything for you, Sonny… just about anywhere.”
“I know. Again… insane ta me.”
“Ask me. I want to know exactly what you want from me,” she purrs into his ear, her leg slotted between his creating a bit of friction as her hands slide up under his tee, thumbs circling his nipples.
“Mmm… ya drive me crazy… I want ya on your knees… strokin’ my cock… lickin’ ya lips… lookin’ up at me… waitin’ for me ta tell ya ta suck my dick.”
She plunges her tongue into his mouth, over and over, nibbling his lip after each thrust. He’s rock hard… the way she plays with his nipples is making him shake.
“Now. Get on ya knees. Get ready ta show me how much it means ta ya ta pleasure me… how much ya love ta take care-a me.”
She follows his directive… pulls his basketball shorts and boxer briefs down. He’s bobbing in her face, but she only takes him in her hands… waiting. Balls to tip, her hands rhythmically caress and massage.
“I want ya ta start slow, ‘Manda. I wanna feel every second of ya mouth on me. G’head… lick me.”
“Fuck… Sonny… that’s… fucking hot.”
With eyes on him, by moonlight, owls and crickets signing their praises, Amanda does all he asks. She slowly works him to a precipice and brings him back from the edge twice… three times. He’s throbbing… engorged… thick… when Amanda makes the decision to stand, unbutton her shorts, and push them to the ground with her panties. She turns them so she’s at the wall. With a sultry smile, Amanda faces the shed, bracing herself with her hands on the rough wood, and bends presenting herself to him to use as he needs.
“Jesus Christ, are ya kiddin’ me… fuck, Amanda.”
He touches her, slips his hand into her folds, and finds her wet… dripping with arousal. He licks his fingers clean before touching her again. This time he uses her arousal to soften and stimulate her puckered bud as he presses his cock into her hot, wet slit. This is new for them… something sexy… different… he’s taking a chance that she’ll enjoy it. Oh, how she’s enjoying it… her moans are so loud he has to cover her mouth with his other hand. He thrusts harder and faster, rubbing her anal hole in circles, relaxing and opening her. Just as her orgasm rolls through her, Sonny fingers her back way in time with the rocking of his hips into her and she cums hard milking an orgasm from him. They sink to the ground, to the blanket, Sonny under her, still sheathed inside her. His cock is not softening. She cowgirls him, so sensitive, riding him slowly as the waves of ecstasy still flow. She’s cumming again, gripping him, surrounding him, collapsing backwards into his arms as he slips from her body.
“What the fuck, Sonny… what did you do to me? That was… fucking otherworldly.”
He laughs, holding her close as she calms from that incredible high.
“When the words are too heavy… too complex… ta say, ‘Manda… I’ll show ya how much I love ya. And I do love ya… more than you’ll ever know… to the moon and back.”