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It’s another normal day, Nitori thinks, as he watches Rin talk to his friends from Iwatobi. Another day of sitting awkwardly as they all chat like the old friends they are. Another day of being the odd man out, because somehow, somewhere down the line, Rei managed to find a place within the group. Rin’s less of the type to try and include Nitori at every point possible like Nagisa is with Rei and honestly, it hurts quite a lot. Nitori wonders, sometimes late at night, if they even want him around at all.
He feels a wave of nausea coming on, and stands up, his mumbles of ‘I’m going to the restroom’ falling on deaf ears. He makes it out of the room before he leans against a wall. Everything’s barreling down on him and if he doesn’t manage to calm himself soon, he’s going to launch into another panic attack. As if he wasn’t already annoying enough.
“Where did Ai go?” Rin’s voice filters through the open doorway, and for an unconscious reason, Nitori flattens himself against the wall.
“Who knows?” It’s Makoto speaking this time, his voice laced with an odd sadistic tone so unlike him. “Maybe he wised up and left. It’s about time he realizes that no one wants him around.”
“Hey now-” Rin starts, but is drowned out by the others launching into tirades about how they don’t like Nitori and all the qualities of his they find annoying. He can vaguely hear Rin trying to butt in. “Guys, shut up!”
Everyone listens to the command, and through the pain in his chest, he feels just the tiniest bit of hope welling up. Maybe Rin’s angry at the rude attitudes of his friends. Maybe he’ll take up for Nitori, and–
“I know you guys don’t like him, but please. I feel guilty when I leave him at the dorm by himself. You can’t play nice for just a few hours once or twice a week? For my sake?”
--and oh. All the air rushes from Nitori and he feels like he’s suffocating. He’s never been this embarrassed in his life. Rin only asks him here out of pity? Of course, how could he have been so stupid to believe that someone as great as Rin actually wanted to be friends with him!
Nitori’s world starts to swirl, and somehow, through the blur of the tears, he manages to stumble his way out of Haru’s house. He thinks he can hear the vague sounds of Rin calling his name, but he wants to be as far away from the others as fast as possible. He makes it almost all the way down the stairs before he stumbles and falls. He just lies there, zapped of all energy to get up. The pain in his chest is too much, blocking out all the pain from the fall. If he were to die right now, he’d be happy.
“Ai!”
Suddenly, Rin’s on top of him, gently shaking him. There’s an unreadable expression on Rin’s blurry face. Nitori barely mumbles out an apology before he closes his eyes–
--and opens them once again to find himself staring at the bottom of a bunk bed. No, not exactly. There’s a blurry, familiar figure in his line of vision as well. Nitori blinks a few more times before his eyes focus, and once they do, he’s greeted with the image of a wildly concerned Rin.
“R-Rin? Wha?” He’s so confused. He was just at Haru’s house. How did he get here?
Rin blinks back some tears of his own, and leaps forward, hugging Nitori tightly. “What the hell were you dreaming about?! You started crying! I was so scared, Ai!”
It...it was all a dream? Well, that explains Makoto’s out of character behavior and his lack of injuries from the tumble down the stairs. Rin moves to kiss him, but Nitori turns his head at the last moment. Everything may have been a dream, but Rin’s words about pity are still fresh in his mind.
Insecurity has always been an issue for Nitori, and he has nightmares like this occasionally, but none of them has been as bad, or real, as this one. Rin, catching onto the situation, sits back and pulls Nitori onto his lap. It’s become an unspoken ritual between the two, that Rin does this when Nitori has a nightmare. Sitting in Rin’s lap brings him the comfort he needs, but also keeps him from feeling trapped and caged beneath Rin.
“Ai, you know that I love you right?”
“Y-Yes.” Nitori blushes and buries himself further into Rin.
“Whatever it was that you were dreaming about? It doesn’t matter if you tell me what it is, but I just want you to know that it’s not true.
“I know, but…”
“No buts. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t talk to you. And am I doing that?”
“No…”
Rin sighs and shifts them around a bit, moving Nitori to straddle him so they’re both more comfortable. “No. I’m not ignoring you. It’d be pretty bad if I ignored or hated my boyfriend, now wouldn’t it?”
“Yes…” Nitori smiles. Rin’s words may sound a bit harsh to say to someone who’s going through what he is, but they’re so like Rin. Honesty is Rin’s best way of showing he’s sincere.
“And Ai?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”