Chapter Text
"Just another bad dream. It's just a nightmare."
Antonio whispered to himself and slowly walked down the forest path. He knew he wasn't supposed to be here all alone, but he couldn't help it. Mirabel was missing - and she was someone so special - he needed to find her and bring her home before it turned dark and cold.
"Mirabel!" Antonio called out, trying to calm his scared voice. "A-Are you out there? I'm here to bring you back. I-it's time to come home!"
A sudden crunching sound of some leaves made him jump- and he twisted around frantically. Was it Mirabel? His heart leapt at the thought and he couldn't stop a small smile from tugging on his lips. Was that -
"Mirabel?"
He waited… and waited for his prima's bright blue skirt to show up or-or maybe she would just come out and hug him and apologize for disappearing. But when she didn't show up, he felt his smile disappear and the heaviness in his chest come back.
Then he heard another crunch - and then a rustle. Was… was it a monster? No, monsters weren't real. He was five years old! He couldn't still believe they were real.
But he did see something rustle from a nearby bush, and Antonio hugged himself, not able to stop the wobbly feeling in his legs.
Please don't be a monster, please don't be a mons-
Instead, a tiny squirrel poked his furry head out, his gray cheeks full and puffy. Antonio sighed and giggled softly. It was just a baby squirrel. He wondered if he was lost or looking for someone too.
"Hi, little guy. I'm Antonio," he cooed softly, kinda like how his older sister Dolores would talk to him. "Do you want to be friends?"
Trying not to scare the little animal, he crouched and slowly extended his small hand out to the animal, hoping he would run up his arm or snuggle his big soft tail against him. He felt some of the heaviness in his chest lift when the squirrel stepped forward and sniffed his hand.
"It's alright. I'm nice, see?" Antonio stepped forward, not noticing a little stick crunch under his foot.
But the squirrel suddenly backed away- darting for a nearby tree.
"W-wait, pleas-" he pleaded, reaching out a little too quickly for the animal.
The little squirrel scurried away, leaving Antonio completely baffled- and alone- in the dark forest.
What… happened? Did he do something wrong? Why were all the animals- even the small ones- leaving him alone?
Then he remembered.
Oh… right.
He didn't have his gift anymore. He didn't have… anything right now. It was just like his worst nightmare, where all the people he loved left him alone. Only it was even 'worser' now that it was real.
It was why his animals left. He lost his gift- and they wouldn't want to be around him anymore.
But he didn't know why Mirabel left too. Even though she promised she wouldn't leave him, she still did. A little part in his brain worried she only left him because he lost his cool gift.
The sky turned darker - but not because of the night. He felt a droplet of rain from above and heard a rumble from far away. He thought about his Mamí, and how she told him not to leave. Was she upset? Did she know he left when he wasn't supposed to- and was now really scared- just like him?
He heard a crack and then another rumble, tucking into himself and beginning to shiver.
"Just a bad dream. J-just another nightmare." he whispered again, shivering even more. If he said it enough, maybe he could convince himself he was just stuck in his room or the Nursery, and just… couldn't wake up. He didn't want to be alone - stuck in this scary nightmare anymore.
He just wanted to wake up.
So much happened today- so many things he wished would just stay in his worst dreams. He didn't want to think any of it was really real.
First, Casita left.
Being five whole years old now, he knew houses- even magic ones like Casita - couldn't really die or leave like people and animals could. But he still loved Casita like she was another family member, and it hurt knowing his house wasn't there anymore.
Before she left, Antonio knew Casita was hurting. He knew something was wrong with the magic too. Whenever Casita shook and rumbled, he felt his animals' voices suddenly turn fuzzy. When he had asked his animals or the rats in the walls if they were worried about Casita, they told him not to worry.
"Casita and magic are hurting," one of the rats had said to him. "But no fear, small rat-scent human. Both are strong. Magic will be saved and biggest rat-scent human can come back to human kin and clan."
He believed them - especially when his new friend (or "biggest rat-scent" he had learned) told Mirabel she was going to save the magic. He knew his prima was special like that and could do anything.
If Mirabel was helping, he wanted to help too! And he thought he did when he gave his new friend his room to do… something magical. He didn't really know what was happening with all the swirling sand and green light… but it looked really cool! He thought he was going to help save the magic! Everything was supposed to be alright now!
But then… everything went wrong. And it started when Casita left.
He was up in his room when he heard his Abuela yelling angrily, which surprised him a little because she never yelled. Not like that, at least. She was very serious but she was still nice to him. He never heard her yell at anyone like that in his family.
Then he heard Mira yelling, surprising him even more because he also never heard her yell at anyone before.
Mirabel was so special! She was nice and sweet and funny! She was his favorite cousin - his prima! - and his best friend, he didn't like it when she was upset. And why was Abuela yelling at her? What did she do wrong?
He remembered going to open his door to find out why she was yelling, but that was when Casita shook - like really shook - and he fell to the ground! When he tried to get up, Casita then opened his door for him - but pushed him out of his own room and slammed the door shut!
She suddenly slid him to the staircase and brought him down the stairs. He wasn't hurt when he landed downstairs (thanks to sliding down the slide staircase) but he was still worried.
He didn't know why Casita would kick him out of his room. He worried about his new friend and his rat friends in the walls or the animals in his room. Would they be alright? Was Mirabel alright?
It was only when he was downstairs that he really saw all the cracks. They were… big. No, they were humongous. He didn't know these were the cracks Mirabel was talking about. Antonio wanted to believe Mirabel last night, he really, really did! But… giant cracks? Big enough to almost make Abuela's candle go out? Remembering now, he felt a little guilty that he hadn't believed her just because he didn't see them. Still, he knew his prima would never lie to hurt or scare him, so he was kinda happy she wasn't lying after all.
But they were huge! They crawled all over the walls and floor like spider webs or-or claw marks from a really scary animal. He wondered if he got too close to one of them, it would eat him and swallow him whole!
Then Casita actually fell.
He didn't think it was really going to happen, even though she was rumbling so much and so many people- even the animals in his room and his own family- worried it was going to happen. He remembered how loud it was, how much everything shook, and how many more cracks showed up.
Before he knew it, he was brought back to the scariest time in his life.
He was outside Casita now; he had never seen his house hurting this much, and it was all so scary! He was almost crushed by his own door, but Papá had saved him and taken him out of the house before that could happen. But even outside, it was all so loud too. There were so many people screaming and crying- he felt like he was stuck in a bad dream he couldn't wake up from.
Tiá Julieta must've been just as scared as he was, because she was screaming and crying, but she was also hitting Casita's shut doors, which confused him a little. Casita didn't do anything wrong and she was hurting, why was Tiá hitting her?
Tió Agustín pulled her backwards and held her, but Tiá was still crying and trying to get back inside. He was also crying and saying something to her but Antonio couldn't hear it over the loud cracking and groaning.
Antonio didn't really understand why she was trying to go back inside Casita until he heard her scream- "MIRABEL!"
Wait… was Mira still inside? He looked around and saw his Mamá, Papá, Dolores, Camilo, Abuela- but not Mirabel. He panicked seeing everyone but his Mirabel. His new friends were also missing - and he worried for them too - b-but they weren't like Mirabel. They weren't his closest family.
W-what was she doing!? Why was she still inside Casita when everything was falling? She could die!
There was a part of him that also wanted to run back into the house too. But Dolores could probably hear his thoughts - because before he could do that, she suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him close to her chest.
"Lola? Lola, no!" He felt bad for yelling at her when everything was so loud, even for him but he knew Mirabel needed help. He kept trying to wriggle away from his oldest sister's hug but she held on tight.
"Lola, please let go!" he cried, reaching his tiny hands out for a very blurry Casita as he felt big tears fall down his cheeks. "Mira's still in there!"
He was able to break out of Dolores' hug but Papá grabbed him and held him even tighter. He remembered crying even harder.
"Papí! Papí, why is she still in there? She could die! Please, we have to help her!" He remembered trying to wriggle out of his papá's hold but he was too strong.
"I know, Antonio." Papá just smushed the side of his head back into his chest, and even though he didn't have Lola's gift of hearing things really well, he thought he heard them both crying. "We can't do anything yet."
Then when Casita rumbled louder than ever before and shook the ground outside, he remembered watching the house falling down with super wide eyes.
He wanted to scream but couldn't - which was probably good for Dolores' ears. Papá suddenly turned around and grabbed her arm and hugged them both to his chest.
He heard towers and rooftops crush each other, making some of the loudest noises Antonio had ever heard! He covered his ears and screamed into Papá's chest.
After that… he remembered feeling… so lonely. Casita was gone and so were his animal friends. He waited for Parce or Pico to show up and help him help his family… but they never showed up. Even the ones that stayed sounded different now. He couldn't understand any of them! Not even a couple of the rats he found in the walls- the only ones that stayed with him.
His chest hurt a little, which was strange, cause Papá had protected him when Casita fell, and he wasn't hurt anywhere else. Maybe he could have some of his Tiá's magic food and he'd feel better?
But he wasn't really hurt. Just… so lonely.
He was with Mamí now - somewhere far away from Casita and most of his family. But he could still see the big lump where his Casita once stood, and being away from everyone didn't help him feel any better.
His Mamí must've been sad or scared too. She covered her head and dug her sharp nails into her head and was breathing quickly - too quickly! He didn't know if he should've been getting ready for a tornado or not.
"Mamí?" he had asked, almost a little scared. "Mamí… it's alright." He leaned against her, feeling her lightning fast heartbeat, and placed his smaller hands on her arms, slowly moving them up to her hands.
"It's alright…" his hands were flat over hers now. It always calmed him down a little whenever someone held his hands when he was nervous.
When he gently wrapped his fingers into hers, he felt his Mamí take less shaky breaths. He pressed his forehead against hers. She took a big deep- but still shaky breath -and pulled her hands away from her head. She leaned back and looked at him, tears still in her eyes.
"Thank you, Toñito…" she whispered, pulling him into a tight hug. "I love you so much," she whispered into his hair.
"I love you too, Mamí," he whispered back.
But he didn't know why… Mamí felt better… why wasn't he? Even if Mamí was feeling better, he still wasn't a-and… everything that happened suddenly felt like it was crashing down on him.
Before he knew it, he was the one crying and breathing too quickly. He felt his cries sting his throat and blur his eyes, and the growing heavy feeling in his chest felt like it would crush him.
"Antonio, don't cry, papito- don't cry," Mamí said quietly, putting her warm hands on his cheeks, brushing away his tears. "It'll be alright - just like you said." She smiled a little but Antonio knew it wasn't the same as her bright real smiles.
Mamí was sad too; he knew that because he saw tears falling down her cheeks. But he looked up at her and didn't see her cloud. He didn't know why, but it made him feel a little weird seeing his Mamí without any rain or clouds.
His lip wobbled and he buried his face into Mamí's chest, shaking with more cries. The heavy sad feeling in his chest was too much. He couldn't really tell her why he was sad. There were too many reasons; maybe it was having his animal friends run away from him, maybe it was Casita falling. Maybe it was knowing his magic didn't work - and now, because of him, everything was gone.
"I-I tried," he sobbed into her chest. "I tried t-to help but m-my magic did-didn't work, a-and now I'm all alone!"
"You're not alone, mijo. I'm right here," Mamí said, shushing him and brushing her warm hands down his hair and back. "I'm right here. We're all going to be okay."
Antonio shook his head. He wished more than anything he ever wished for that his Mamí was right. But he 'wasn't naive' like his Papá had said to him once- and he believed it (once he was told what the big word had meant.) He saw Casita fall and crush Mirabel.
"No, Mamí… we're not all here," he pouted, feeling more tears rise. "Mirabel's not going to be here anymore." He wanted to feel better and less alone - but without Mirabel… he couldn't.
Mamí suddenly pulled him even closer to her chest, and he felt her heart's quick thumps-thumps against his forehead. "Mijo, please don't say that. We'll find her, alright." He pulled back and met her eyes, still wet with tears. "Alright?"
He didn't know if he could believe her or not, but he only closed his eyes and nodded through his tears, his little hands beginning to shake. He felt Mamí's bigger and warmer ones wrap around his, helping chase some of the loneliness away.
When he heard Mirabel was alive, he couldn't really believe it at first. Was he still dreaming? Then he turned and saw his Mamá sigh and smile - her first real and bright smile since she lost her gift too.
He had cried with happy tears when he heard that Mirabel was alive and wanted more than anything to go to her. After losing everything, he just wanted his bestest friend to hug him tight and tell him everything would be okay.
More than anything, he just wanted to see Mirabel. Maybe a hug from his prima would help him feel better. Yeah, Mirabel's hugs always made him feel better and less alone.
But… when he left Mamí to go to her… he couldn't find her. No one could. Everyone was looking for her, and both Tió Agustín and Tiá were crying again and screaming her name but she wouldn't show up.
She had… left? But… but she was alive. They found her safe! She wasn't supposed to leave now- she said she would never leave him.
She even promised she would always be there for him.
She promised.
Even though Casita falling was loud and scary, hearing that Mirabel was missing scared him even more. He heard that there was even more of the Encanto open after the magic went away- and he just… worried. Papí told him that Mirabel was just a little upset and needed to be alone for a bit but would come back when she was feeling better. But… what if Mirabel wanted to leave them forever?
Papá, Isa, Luisa, and his Tiá Julieta and Tió Agustín left to go look for her, and Antonio was supposed to be back at home with his Mamá, Dolores, and Camilo. Instead, he had left the town to look for Mirabel too.
He knew something must have happened that made Casita fall and Mirabel upset enough to want to go away- but not knowing exactly what made his chest hurt even more.
Even though he knew Mirabel was just a little sad, and shouldn't be angry with her… he couldn't help but feel a little upset. He loved Mirabel - she was almost like another older sister to him - but… she had promised him she wouldn't go. He just… couldn't understand what made her break her promise, even if she was sad.
He knew Abuela and Mirabel were yelling at each other, but since Mirabel left, he couldn't find Abuela to ask her his questions.
When he tried asking everyone else for answers earlier, they wouldn't tell him anything. Camilo even said it was "grown-up stuff" and wasn't any of his business, which Antonio thought silly (cause Camilo wasn't a grown-up either, why could he know what happened?) He couldn't even ask his Mamá - because she would suddenly get very nervous and pull her hair.
So he didn't know anything.
But he had to find her! He just had to! Mirabel was such a special person and she was hurting, probably somewhere dark and alone. Even if she never wanted to show anyone she was sad or upset, she would always be there for someone else who was.
Especially for him.
"Gift or no gift, "l'll always be here for you, mi hombrecito…" Mirabel's voice was soft and quiet, but she was telling him what she would always do for him. A very special promise. He already knew it was true - he just wanted to hear her say it.
Antonio's eyes shined with love, and he shifted on the pillow, holding out a pinky finger. "You promise?"
Mirabel nodded and wrapped her own finger around his. He smiled and snuggled into her, knowing then that there was no way he would ever be alone - or his worst nightmare could ever come true.
At least that's what he thought.
She made that promise for him when he needed it most and since he lost Casita and his gift, he needed to hear those same words now more than ever. He needed her now more than ever.
But… she wasn't here.
She had… she had meant them… right?
She even promised him.
At that, Antonio felt he could let go of his breath. She promised him. And he knew his prima would never, ever actually break a promise like this.
He still wanted to help bring her back, and he would do that even if his Mamá said no or told him to stay. Even… even if it meant being lost in this dark and scary forest.
"Mirabel!"
Antonio continued his search in the forest, and cupped his hands to call again when-
He heard a sudden caw! And not just any caw!
Antonio gasped and twisted and turned through a bunch of bushes, ending up in a clearing with a big tree.
And perched on that tree was a toucan - his feathers dark gray, his belly and beak bright green, and was also really smart and polite. He even knew Mirabel! Antonio knew this because this toucan was-
"Pico!"
He found him! He finally and really found him! Antonio nearly laughed with relief!
When he touched his door, Pico was his first animal friend and also introduced him to many of his other friends. Antonio remembered sending him off to help Mirabel earlier today, so he probably knew who she was already. Now he could finally find Mirabel!
"Hola!" Antonio happily ran to the tree, waving his hands as he met his familiar friend. "Hola, Pico, it's me, Antonio! Remember?"
But instead of squawking happily and flying down to perch himself on Antonio's arm like he had done earlier that day, Pico stayed on the branch and stared… strangely at him. He tilted his head politely. It was like he didn't even recognize him.
Antonio slowed down, his eyebrows furrowing. The lonely spot in his chest ached again.
"It's… it's me. Don't you remember?" He asked confused, his voice threatening to quiver.
No, no… he remembers me. He does, he's just… startled. Antonio tried to convince himself. He sighed and smiled before trying again.
"Oh, ok, th-that's alright. I know the house falling must've scared you too." Pausing, he tried to find his next words.“I-I just need your help with finding someone."
Pico continued to stare at him, looking confused by his words. He blinked and gave a squawk- but Antonio couldn't understand.
"Please, I-I need help!" Antonio repeated, almost panicking with the final word. "Someone I love is missing, and I don't know where she is."
"D-do you remember Mirabel?" Antonio asked hopefully. "She has kinda dark gray hair," he said, pulling at a strand of his own curly hair. "And-" he pointed to his nose, "-green glasses - a lot like your beak. Sh-she looks a bit like you," he said with a little laugh. "But she has a very blue skirt with lots and lots of pretty designs."
"But you remember meeting her, right? She's very special to me- b-but she's gone and I don't know where she is," he said, feeling kinda sad again. "Can you please help me find her?"
A moment passed before the bird squawked and straightened himself out and fluffed his feathers. It meant he was getting ready to fly. Antonio's heart could’ve leapt for joy right then and there. Had he understood him? Maybe his gift wasn't completely gone after all.
“Great! Thank you!" Antonio beamed with glee, and turned around, pointing to the large crack in the mountain. It was far away and a difficult walk for his small legs, yes, but at least it was possible with a friend by his side.
“Let's go find Mirabel." Antonio's words came out with much more confidence than he was expecting. He tapped his chin. "I don't think anyone's checked there yet. Do you think you can-"
But the sound of wings fluttering away had him turning around. To his confusion, Pico was starting to take off away from him.
"But… she didn’t go that way,” Antonio whispered, completely puzzled. He tried catching up to the bird just as he took off.
"Wait… she didn't go that way. Where are you going?"
Antonio tried running after the bird, but to his dismay, only made him fly away faster. Pico flew over a cluster of dark bushes, a kind not meant for younger boys like himself to travel through alone.
"No, please!" Antonio begged. He stumbled forward and began wading through the bushes, leaves getting in his eyes. Despite this, he managed to keep the small bird in his sight.
"I need you- please! She's in trouble!"
Tiny and sharp leaves snagged on his clothes and scratched at his hands. It hurt but he tried to keep going- he had to keep going. “It’s cold- and dark! Sh-she can’t be out there all alone, please!"
Finally, he burst out of the grove and into another clearing, dashing forward to keep up with the bird.
"Stop! Please sto-"
He kept his eyes glued to the sky, but stopped in his chase and tripped on a crooked tree root, the air leaving his body as he hit the earth with a thud!
The world was spinning and Antonio groaned, waiting a minute before sitting back up. He watched helplessly as Pico faded into a gray dot, flying higher into the sky.
"Please… not you too. Don't leave me…" he could barely raise his voice above a whisper.
Then…
"DON'T LEAVE ME!!" His sudden and very loud scream echoed in the sky, alerting anyone who was nearby.
The toucan soared far away from him, unbothered by his desperate pleas as he disappeared into the graying skies.
The boy stared up, his body forcing him to remain still. With every second that passed, the tight feeling in his chest only grew. His entire body ached with loneliness. It hurt inside and all over. Like the times he had tripped or fallen on his way outside of Casita or playing outside. His stomach hurt too. A lot - like the times he had eaten one too many sweets after dinner. Tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision. He felt… cold- freezing- he shivered so much, even if it was supposed to be warm in Colombia.
There was no way this wasn't just a bad dream. It-it couldn't - it couldn't be real. He just had to be dreaming - he knew he had to!
Maybe… maybe if he pinched himself really, really hard, he could wake up. Maybe he would be safe in Casita, and not alone in this big scary forest. His animals would be with him, and Mirabel… Mirabel wouldn't be gone. She would still be with him- just like she promised.
Worth a shot.
He breathed deeply and dug his tiny but still sharp nails into his hands and fingers, quickly moving to other spots along his hand to do it again and again. He whimpered a little and tried to ignore the biting pain. It reminded him a little like his toucan's talons would dig into his arm before taking off to fly. He knew it was always by accident but it was still painful (not that he ever told him that). Pinching himself hurt - so much- but he needed to know if he was just dreaming or not.
His hands hurt badly and tiny, dark red, moon-shaped marks showed up on his skin, but nothing felt like it was disappearing. Not like a dream disappearing, at least.
He tried again, pinching his arms this time- but the only things he saw were more curved marks and the only things he felt were more sharp pains on his arms.
Hot tears filled up in his eyes and he felt a big lump in his throat. Why couldn't he just wake up?
Please, just wake up already! I don't like any of this.
But every time he pinched or dug his nails into his arms or hands… it just stayed the same. Nothing was changing!
Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup!
He only stopped to look down at his very real hands where there were only more marks.
So… he wasn't dreaming. The bad things that happened to the things he loved… Casita, his gift, Mirabel… were all real.
Tears that had been bubbling up began streaming down his eyes. At the same time, he felt something wet traveling along his arms. He looked down and panicked when he saw dark red blooming along the lighter fabric of his shirt, a trail of red peeking out from under his sleeve. He shakily pulled it back and whimpered at the red bruising on his arm. Blood dripped slowly around his arm, falling to the ground.
When Mirabel was still here, and he'd hurt himself like this while playing, she'd be sure to hug him tight, calming him and help dry his tears, telling him that he'd be okay. She would even help clean the blood and muck from his scratch and clothes before taking him to his Tiá for healing food.
The boy pouted and stomped his foot into the dirt. This wasn't fair. None of this was. Why was he alone like this? Why did he have to lose his gift so soon?
Why did Mirabel break her promise? Did… did he do something to make her want to leave him?
The thought of him being the reason Mirabel left scared him and he curled into himself, nursing his bleeding arm. He shook with small sobs and pulled out a folded piece of paper he had kept in his pocket. Antonio unfurled it, revealing a quick crayon drawing of Mirabel, but with little dot eyes and a shaky smile. If Pico didn't recognize her, Antonio was going to use his special drawing to hopefully remind him. But then…
He clutched so tightly onto the drawing that it was beginning to tear, and ran a shaky finger along the scribbly smile of his best friend's crayon self.
"Mira, please… please come back. I-I miss you so much." He began to cry, shaking and sniffling as he hugged the drawing to his cheek. "I-I don't want to be alone anymore."
It wasn't fair. What happened that would make Mirabel want to leave? Want to leave him?
"You said you'd always be here for me. Always." He sniffed twice before continuing. "D-did I do something wrong? I'm s-sorry if I did- just please come back. I need you."
Rain began to fall, making him shiver even more. He tucked further into himself to keep warm and to keep his drawing safe.
Please come back.
"Antonio?"
Suddenly, he heard the sound of grass swishing. It grew louder but so did his name being called again by a voice he knew. Mamí.
"Antonio! Mijo, where are y-" his Mamí's sudden loud voice was broken with a gasp. "Antonio-" the boy was suddenly greeted with warm hands at his cheeks and injured arm. "Oh, mijo, you're bleeding! What happened?"
Mamí wrapped a small towel around his arm. She opened her mouth to say something more but a far-away sounding boom stopped her. Then she gently hoisted him up and into her arms.
"Let's get out of here and clean you up."
When they returned to town, Antonio was brought into the same house he and his Mamá and Papá were staying in. Mamá set him down on a couch and gently removed the towel- now covered with blood. The bleeding stopped but the scratch was still there, and so was the bruising.
Mamá walked to and from different rooms, pulling some stuff from different rooms, and a couple of bottles he could recognize from his Tiá's station. A long time ago, he had asked Mirabel about the bottles, and remembered her telling him that they belonged to the town doctor, and that even his Tiá couldn't heal everything without a little help.
Antonio could hear her talking quickly but quietly- like she was talking to someone he couldn't see. She didn't have a cloud now but Antonio could still tell she was very sad and maybe a little mad too.
"Antonio, what were you doing? You can't just walk away from us! Please, please don't wander off like that! Tell me or Papí or anyone else where you plan on running off to next time. We heard you cry and didn't know if something had happened to you and…"
Mamí's words felt more like a blur. He couldn't hear anything but the rain outside pattering on the windows and a quiet ringing in his ears. He didn't even remember pinching his arms again - little fingernails biting into his arms - little talons or claws.
"Ay, Toñito… don't do that, amor," Mamí said, pulling his fingers away from his arms. Antonio hoped she wouldn't see more of the pinch marks, but he must've torn part of his sleeve when he was chasing Pico- cause he saw Mamí's eyes widen and touch his arm where he knew there were more pinch marks.
"Antonio? What's this?" she asked quietly, brushing her hands along the spots where he knew he had pinch marks. He thought she was going to worry more - or even scold him for pinching himself at all.
But instead… Mamí got up and walked to another room, coming back and putting something round and… soft in his hands. He looked down at it and felt his breath shake. Tears filled his eyes - but they weren't the really sad ones. He recognized the spot where that one button-eye was - and the soft stripes near his ears - a-and the little thread smile - it was-
"Mr. Tiger!"
Immediately, he felt some of his fear go away, and he hugged on to the familiar plush, smushing it against his cheek.
"Papá found it in Casita's ruins earlier today," Mamá said, smiling. "Must've been a Nursery item, hm? Did Mirabel make this little cub for you?"
How did she know?
"Mmhm," he said, smiling a little and playing with one of Mr. Tiger's little ears. "Mira gave him to me a long time ago. He… he helps chase away nightmares."
You made him to scare away bad dreams. You said so yourself - you promised.
You promised.
.....
.....
"Antonio?"
He blinked and felt himself come back when he heard Mamí saying his name. Her hands gently held and tilted his face towards hers. Her next words came out much clearer. "Antonio, please. Please talk to me."
What happened? He touched his own cheeks and felt water on them. Was he crying?
Antonio slowly focused on his mother, who was now kneeling in front of him with a worried but relieved look on her face.
"Toñito…" Mamí sighed and took a couple of deep breaths, muttering many of her "clear skies." She tried again, much quieter this time, kinda like how Dolores talks. She rubbed his cheeks and brushed a few of his tears away. It wasn't Mirabel, but it helped in making more of the loneliness disappear.
"I'm right here, corazon. Please- can you tell me what happened to you in the woods? Why did you scream? W-were you hurt by something out there?"
"I… I-I just fell," he muttered, staring at the ground. "I just wanted to help."
Mamí shook her head. "Toñito- you were not allowed to wander off like that - even if you were just trying to help." She paused and looked at his still bleeding arm. "I'm… I'm going to ask you again; are you hurt anywhere else?"
He could only whimper, and dug his fingers into the soft plush of Mr. Tiger. Yes, he was hurt. His whole body hurt so much and he had so many questions and thinking about them only made him hurt more.
What if this loneliness lasted forever?
Where was Mirabel when he needed her most?
What if she was lost out there and couldn't find her way back?
What if Mirabel never came back?
What if Mirabel was -
What if -
What if-
It was all too much. He dropped his head into his mother's shoulder, clutching at her dress as he cried into her embrace. His cries turned so great, he slipped off the couch and down onto his knees on the hard floor.
"I-I'm sorry, Mamí!" Antonio sobbed. "I j-just wanted to-to help! I want Mirabel!"
"I know, Toñito. I know." Mamí gently shushed him and rubbed small circles on his back. "Esta bien, mijo, we can keep looking for her. She couldn't have gone far."
"B-but it's raining!" he pointed to the glass window, foggy with raindrops. "Y-you can't f-find h-her now! W-what if we can't ever f-find her? What if she never comes back?"
Mamí's breath turned shaky again - and he felt her heartbeat go faster.
"That's- that's not going to happen," she placed a warm - but shaky - hand on his shoulder. "Mirabel will come back. She's-she's a little upset right now but she'll always come back in the end. That's a promise, mijo."
Antonio's eyebrows creased at the last sentence. Having someone make a promise wasn't what he wanted to hear right now.
He pouted and leaned away from his mother. "Mamí, please don't make any promises. M-Mira made a promise to me too but…" Antonio felt tears fill up in his eyes. "B-but she didn't keep it."
She stared quizzically at him. "What do you mean? What did she say?"
Antonio sniffed, a few tears leaking from his eyes. "Sh-she broke her promise, Mamí. She said- she said-" he began to gasp. "She said she would- she'd always be here for me. She promised me!"
Mamá held him tight again, placing her hand on the side of his face. "Oh Toñito, I didn't know."
"I just- I-I don't understand. Why did she-" he coughed and gasped for breath between cries. "Why did she leave me?"
Mamí' shook her head. "Antonio, sometimes we make promises, not knowing there are things that happen where we are unable to keep them."
"She promised me-" he repeated, struggling in her hold. "She promised - w-why did she want to leave me alone, Mamí?"
"Toñito, she didn't do it on purpo-"
"But she promised!" Antonio yelled, trying to free himself from his mother's hold. "You're never, ever supposed to break a promise like that! Never!"
"I know, I know, I know." Mamí's voice was panicky and she held onto him tight, tears falling down her face and onto his forehead. He could feel her heart's quick thumps-thumps against his ear. "She wasn't intending to break her promise to you like this."
"S-she didn't even say goodbye." Suddenly his eyes widened and his breath shook. "M-mamí, did I…" his breathing picked up and he wriggled away. "D-did I make her want to go away?"
Mamá's eyes widened and she feverishly shook her head. "No, no, absolutely not, Toñito. It was not your fault."
Antonio's eyebrows creased. "B-but I lost my gift. She only left me after I got my gift. Why did she-"
"No, Antonio. Mirabel did not leave because you lost your gift. Please listen to me - you did not cause any of this - and neither did Mirabel."
Antonio blinked. "B-but why-"
She took his hand and grasped it, stopping him. "Listen to me, mijo. You didn't do anything wrong." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing.
"Mirabel and your Abuela had an argument before Casita fell." Antonio nodded. He already knew that part. "And… Abuela might have said some mean things to her that made her feel she… had to be alone for a while."
Antonio stopped crying and his eyes widened slightly. Did that really happen too?
"Oh…" he stopped a bit, thinking over her words.
"I didn't… I didn't know that." Then he frowned.
"But…" he shook his head, feeling confused. "-w-what kind of things did she say to her?" He didn't know his Abuela could be hurtful.
Mamá shook her head. "I think you should ask Mira once she comes back. But I can make sure of one thing," she pulled him close to her. "She adores you, Toñito, and she would never, ever leave because of you."
He tipped his head. "Is… is that really true?"
"Mmhm." His mamá wrapped him in a tight, tight hug. One that he knew wasn't sad - one that was warm and safe. "It will always be true, mi pequeno luz."
Antonio sighed shakily and closed his eyes, leaning back into the hug. He let the warmth of the hug shoo most of his loneliness away.
Maybe there wasn't much he could do now, but once Mira came back, he'd be sure she'd never feel that sad again. He would never let his worst nightmare actually come true.