Chapter Text
"Till we meet again..."
Those words repeated in his ears, his mind.
John..
He shivered his head at a poor attempt of shaking free. Those words, his given name, throbbing in his ears. They had met again, several times after that... Saving his life.
He had aged well, picking John up from the crash. It was a fairly quick reunion, hushed voices to not awake the double. John had only caught a grin from his savior before he handed him the bike. They even shared a moment.. Lighting a cigar, heads close...
"We'll meet again," John mentioned, repeating the same words they always say to each other.
"Right," he responded, head low. He was almost doubtful.
And now here he was, arriving with a wide smile from Mother Base. It had been a while, since that moment they met again. Months? A year? It was hard to remember. But now, his duties there had ended, and wanted to help John at Zanzibar. When he got the call from him about visiting, John couldn't help but feel suspicious. He agreed via two reasons, welcoming his skill as a soldier and interrogator, and seeing an old friend once more.
And when that man's genuinely happy face emerged from the helicopter, guilt had washed over John. That was when he realized how he was actually proud and thankful of his loyalty, coming all this way to support him, especially given how Miller reacted.
At the moment, moving on to more positive thoughts, he was who knows where on the grounds, but John knew that he needed only step outside and glance around for a few minutes before eyeing the younger man. In the distance. Watching him with a small grin fixated upon his face. A hand lifted slowly, fingers poised like a gun in his own fancy salute. Ocelot. Adamska.
John grunted to bring himself back to reality. Why did it bother him so much, thinking of Ocelot's devotion to him? Was he afraid? Of what, John asked himself. He's a loyal comrade... To say the least.
John's wandering mind led back to her. As it almost always did. Her taut eyes staring at him, full of pride for everything she cared about, including John. Eyes that grew empty when he pulled the trigger.
He got up, disturbed yet again. Arching his back in the dark, stretching out his arm, John stood from his bed. At this rate he was unlikely to get any sleep. A glance was thrown to the door, and an uncharacteristic shiver creeped over him. Another set of eyes awaited him out there with those poised fingers and content grin. A set of eyes John found so similar to hers, ever since he figured it out.
But.. Ocelot never truly reminded John of her. Perhaps when Ocelot still sported light blond hair, coupled with piercing eyes full of lashes and sharp cheekbones. Yet as John grew to know Ocelot, working beside him be it with the Patriots or now, Ocelot was still a separate man that John felt a strange respect for. They both wished to live up to The Boss' ideals, and in that was Ocelot like his mother, just as he was alike to John.
"John..."
He coughed roughly. John figured it was time to stop thinking so much about Ocelot. It was unusual to have his mind occupied to this extent of the revolver fanatic.
"John?"
This time he realized it wasn't in his head. John cursed himself, being caught unawares was certainly not a strong suit. It didn't help that the reason he was so distracted was standing right there outside his door, calling to him.
"What is it, Ocelot?" John felt uneasy about using Ocelot's true name Adamska, feeling that it made things far too personal. Codenames were what he used for a majority of his life, so Ocelot it was.
"It's late, you should be resting, John," Ocelot was proof of John's thoughts. A trickle of that same unease swung up his spine each time Ocelot spoke his name, growing in strength ever since Ocelot first started using it.
"I couldn't sleep," John turned away, looking down at his disheveled bed, "What are you doing here? Don't you need rest too?"
"Maybe," Ocelot's sharp eyes softened, thick lashes framing the pretty lids. He straightened up, spurs clicking, "I was only having a stroll, and I heard some shuffling."
"Don't worry about it," John dismissed him with a wave of his hand. Ocelot looked as if he would protest, a mouth open with the hints of a word about to trickle out, only to be trapped shut with a nod.
Something tugged at John's chest as Ocelot walked away. It was a defeated gait, one that too reflected his devotion to John by how disappointed it was. This realization only brought guilt to John, and he had no idea why.
* * * * *
Morning came, fresh with the sound of agonized yelps. Ocelot's early today, John thought to himself, groggy from the awakening. Another painful cry was heard, accompanied with the sparkle and sizzle of electricity if John listened close enough. The only thought that came to his mind then, was if Ocelot had stayed awake the whole night if he was torturing this early.
Surely he had interrogated a lot at Mother Base, but Zanzibar was a lot less suspicious because of the Phantom. Then again, now that time has passed, it was possible others were catching on. Curiosity hit John, dragging him out of bed and towards the location of the screams.
The room was just ahead now, past the stairs toward a lower area of their building. Usually screams did not echo so far, if at all, so Ocelot likely had the door open. John could almost smell the singe of burned hair, and a hint of blood. He peeked into the doorway, seeing Ocelot in a way that brought a new kind of uncomfortable.
Wide gleeful eyes betrayed the tight professional mouth of Ocelot's face. He paced around the prisoner, roughly grabbing the hooded man's head to hiss a few questions. John's hair stood on end as he knew what the prisoner was going though, especially as Ocelot rammed an electric rod into the prisoner's rib cage.
Bright electric shocks rippled through the man, and a long screech emitted from the prisoner's mouth. Ocelot pulled away, just in time for the prisoner's head to bob downward, body slumping lifelessly.
Ocelot quickly grabbed the prisoner's neck, feeling for a pulse.
"We're done here," he announced to a fellow soldier standing in the room with him. Ocelot waved his rod towards the prisoner, "Maybe next time he'll tell us something. Take him back to a cell."
Ocelot twirled around, catching John's eye.
"Ah, John, you missed the show," He smiled only slightly, still looking excited after the endeavor, "Nothing to report yet, but I'll get it out of them eventually. It's a good thing I came around."
"Right," John managed to utter, watching as the prisoner was taken away.
"Did you need anything else?" Ocelot brushed a stray silver strand of hair out of his face.
John shook his head, momentarily distracted by that move. He then watched Ocelot's face reflect more disappointment before reverting back into a more stoic and professional stance.
"Bring out the next one," Ocelot almost barked at the soldier, rather than the usual purr he spoke with every once in awhile.
"Ocelot," John called out, suddenly, "I need to see you for a second."
"Of course," Ocelot's purr returned, yet he walked stiffly over to where John was standing.
What am I doing? John asked himself as he led Ocelot to a more private location.
"What did you need?" Ocelot's face displayed a similar confusion to what John was currently feeling.
"Just, a general report," John resorted to saying, a strange feeling of broken confidence, "Of what you've learned."
"Nothing you don't already know," Ocelot squinted those pretty blue eyes at him, "Did you just want a repeat? At this point, you likely know more than I do."
"Ah, nevermind then."
"I heard you had found some rest last night," Ocelot had a playful grin, "but you weren't asleep for that long."
"Right."
"Anything that does pop up," Ocelot turned his attention to the sound of a soldier calling his name, "You'll be the first to know. If you'll excuse me, I have the next one ready."
John swiftly gripped Ocelot's arm with his own as Ocelot turned away, holding him in place instead.
"Thank you," John was able to muster.
"Of course," Ocelot tilted his head in the slightest, "Glad to help out."
"Not just that," John let go, staring straight at Ocelot, "For... Just being here. Sticking by me, you know?"
Ocelot widened his eyes a little, taking in what John had said. This time a true smile grew upon the younger man's face. A gloved hand reached up, placing itself on John's shoulder, shaking it gently.
"Anything for you, John," Ocelot all but murmured after a moment of silence, hand creeping up John's neck and stopping upon his cheek. John didn't realize how he had moved his head almost eagerly to meet the hand, or when the two of them seemed to lean closer and closer...
"Ocelot?" The soldier's summoning broke John and Ocelot's daze. Ocelot quickly removed his hand, eyes filled with a different kind of excitement, almost of hope.
"If you'll excuse me," Ocelot bowed his head, and departed, but not before turning back around, giving John a good look over. He lifted his arms, gun fingers flicked at his Boss as his signature gesture, and walked away. Leaving John alone in the corner to ponder over what had just happened.
It all felt too familiar. John was thrown back into his memories, years ago back in Groznyj Grad. However, Ocelot reflected no interest other than being a kid looking for his attention, at least to what John assumed. Dense, was what EVA called him, and just now John was starting to realize what she meant by that. At that time John didn't think twice about his feelings for Ocelot other than being an interesting soldier with potential.
Being reminded of EVA also added to the picture. With her it was a different scale compared to Ocelot. Soft kisses and seductive touches were strangers to him, regardless of how intimate EVA had attempted to make things between them.
And it had worked. The hazy night they were together was proof of that, though John remembered little. It certainly didn't help that EVA betrayed him, regardless of her regret and revelation of truth in the end. Of course she turned right back around and helped John with the Patriot's founding, though it was after the Chinese exiled her. However, the last straw with Zero felt like a sort of last straw with her. Les Enfants Terribles. John still trusted her, but he couldn't bring himself to go back to the start. His feelings for her before he knew about all the lies.
But Ocelot... Now Ocelot stood alongside him, at the moment only figuratively, following whatever John needed to be done. Ocelot had never done anything truly antagonistic towards him. John figured that out once he knew that the "jammed bullet" was a blank (Ocelot "Wins" Ending). And even now, it wasn't like John didn't notice the prolonged stares Ocelot gave him, the far off smile he always had whenever John was around. Especially given the recent encounter, was anything really different now? Or was John finally becoming less dense?