Chapter Text

Chapter 1 : to fuck things up

There are several ways to be drunk. You can be just tipsy, sometimes a bit light-headed maybe, but generally good. That’s the best kind of drunk. You can be so wasted you don’t remember a thing. That’s not so great. What’s the point of drinking if you can’t even keep the memories, huh? Between the two there’re different stages. Then sometimes, Dean finds himself in a state he can’t describe, but it’s way past the ‘wasted’ stage. Tonight, he’s not wasted, he’s not hammered. He’s more than that. He’s so fucking… what’s the word?

Who cares? He’s at this great party Gabriel threw for him, because tonight he’s turning twenty-one. A very important number. He can do everything he likes, now. He’s legal in every country. Which also means he can go to jail as an adult in every country, as Castiel, Gabriel’s little brother, reminded him.

So he decided to drink until his blood turns into alcohol. Not that he never drank before, but tonight is special. And, okay, Gabe forced his hand a little. After all, he managed to get his parents out of town for the night, just for Dean. So Dean has to take advantage of it.

“Come on, Dean-o, don’t lose your hand,” Gabriel yells, pushing a drink in his direction as he leans into his space.

The music is loud, and Dean feels sticky with sweat. Gabe decided that the party was going to be Ibiza themed, whatever that means, and he’s cranked the heat on full so everyone will be half naked by the end of the night. Dean knows him, and he also knows that when Gabriel said he wanted to give Dean all the chances he could get to get laid, he really meant he was trying to get all the girls and some boys he invited half-naked for his own benefit.

Frankly, it makes Dean laugh. Gabriel’s been his best friend since they were five years old. They met when Gabe decided he didn’t like Dean’s sandcastle and stepped on it so they could do it again together. They haven’t left each other’s side ever since. Their friendship is not perfect. Sometimes they fight, they yell at each other for ridiculous things and pull tasteless prank on each other. Sometimes it ends badly (one time Gabe ended up in the hospital. Dean still has nightmares about that one), but Dean knows Gabe, and he knows he can count on him. He also knows Gabe isn’t very comfortable with his appearance. He’s not really self-assured, and he hides behind his jokes and his loudness. Dean doesn’t get why, honestly. If Gabe was a chick, well… he’d totally hit that. So Dean trusts Gabe to find himself some pretty thing to take in his bed tonight. He’ll try to do whatever he can to get his best buddy laid, he decides as he downs his drink.

He coughs a bit as the alcohol makes its way down his throat, burning, twisting his insides for a second. He needs another drink for this. He tries to make his way through the crowd of people around the house, as difficult as it is. Finally, he finds an empty bottle and a glass of whatever he can get his hands on, and tries to find Gabriel.

“Hey, hey. Hey!!”

Gabe turns around, almost surprised, but a huge smile illuminates his face when he sees Dean. He looks as drunk as Dean feels. Dean winks at him as Gabriel puts his arm around his neck.

“I wanna play a game,” Dean announces, smiling at him.

“A game?”

“Yes, Gabe, a game. Y’know. For fun.”

Skeptical, Gabriel gives a look to the guy standing next to him. Ronald, Dean thinks his name is. Whatever. Gabe eyes the bottle in Dean’s hand.

“Don’t tell me you wanna play Spin The Bottle. You’re twenty-one, not twelve!”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Nooo! Of course not,” he beams.

Gabriel sighs. “Winchester, you better not be thinking what I think you’re thinking.”

_______________________________________

“I can’t believe you…” Gabriel whispers in his ears as he passes him. 

He goes to sit between two girls in front of Dean.

Dean grins, looking around the people sitting in circle around him. Gabriel pouts, arms crossed over his chest. There are about ten of them, most Dean doesn’t recognize, but at least he has Gabe, and Lisa, the hot chick from his Intro to Psych class, on his right.

“It’s my birthday, dude, gonna do what I say.”

“Yeah but, Seven Minutes in Heaven, Dean,” Gabriel whines.

Dean doesn’t know if Gabriel’s really annoyed or not, but he’s here, and he hasn’t left yet, so everything’s fine. This is all for him. He’ll thank Dean once he gets a taste of some of the people here. There’s even this Balthazar dude Gabriel is always rambling about, too. Dean doesn’t get what Gabe finds attractive in guys. He told Gabe many times, and Gabe always replies that it’s like eating a burger. Some people like pickles, some don’t, and some like to get a taste from time to time, but not always. Dean thinks it’s a shitty metaphor, but who is he to judge, really? He knows Gabe only uses that metaphor because Dean hates finding pickles in his burgers. And anyway, maybe Dean likes pickles. He just never tried. Because so far he’s never found a pickle that made his pickle tick.

Yeah, shitty metaphor.

“Come on! Stop sulkin’! Who wants to start?!”

Things go well, for the first hour, at least. But Gabe never gets chosen. Once, he told Dean he never won any hazard game, and he thought he was cursed. Dean is starting to believe him. The others seem to enjoy themselves, though. That’s something, at least.

While the happy couples get to spend some time together in one of Gabriel’s closet, they get to chat with each other. Turns out Lisa is so much cooler than Dean thought. Gabe seems to get to know the Balthazar guy pretty well, too. It’s a good thing. Even if Gabe doesn’t get lucky tonight, maybe he can get better acquainted with the dude, at least. Dean will only have to push him a bit to try something afterward. From time to time, Gabe gives Dean a look as he openly flirts with Balthazar. Dean smiles cockily back at him. They’re so gonna get it on, tonight!

But for now, Dean is getting drunker and drunker, and he’s not even sure he’ll remember this party anyway. He drinks a bit more, and he waits. After seven minutes, he gets up, and goes to knock at the closet door.

“Time’s up!”

Jo, one of Sam’s friend, and a guy who has really too much beard to be allowed in a closet alone with her if you ask Dean, get out. Jo seems bored. The guy looks defeated. They all sit back, and the bearded guy, who’s on Dean’s left, give Dean the bottle.

“Your turn.”

He should have told Gabe to start. The girl on his right wanted to go first, and then they decided to take their turn counter-clock wise, and really, Dean’s brain isn’t functioning enough for this. He spins the bottle, a half-smile playing at his lips, and he gives Lisa a cocky look. He’s pretty good at this. He’s almost sure the bottle will point to her.

There’s a laugh, and Dean looks down, and he almost chokes on his own saliva. This is the funniest thing, really. He looks up at Gabriel, at the other end of the bottle, and barks a laugh when he sees his face. Yeah, Gabe is probably cursed. And, is it Dean or does he look red, suddenly?

“Okay, okay,” Dean laughs, his hand up in the air in a placating gesture, “I’ll spin again.”

“No!! No, the rules’re the rules!”

Who said that? Dean doesn’t even know the chick. But Gabriel does, apparently.

“Meg…” he tries, looking annoyed.

“No, no, she’s right,” Lisa comes in.

The others cheer.

Fuck. Seriously? But, hey, it’s funny, Dean gets it. He’s even surprised they managed to only get opposite gender couples until now. He gets up, his body feeling heavier after everything he drank, but he still  offers Gabe his hand to help him stand up.

Gabriel looks drunker than Dean is. He stumbles on his feet, but, finally, he smiles as he wriggles his eyebrow at the people around them.

“Come on, seven minutes! I’m counting,” Jo smiles, looking excited.

So Dean pulls Gabe inside the closet, and they both sit, facing the door. Once inside, they can barely hear the music, or anything else for that matter. Gabe doesn’t say anything. And Dean doesn’t know what to say. 

Instead, he laughs.

“What?”

And Dean thinks he can detect a bit of anger in Gabe’s voice. He just takes that as frustration. Of all the people he could have find himself with, it had to be Dean. Dean laughs harder.

“You’re really… really, really unlucky,” Dean lets out.

“Yeah. Your game is lame, anyway.”

“Don’t say that, it’s fun!”

“Right.”

Dean tries to stop laughing, he really does, and instead he turns to Gabe. Easier said than done in that small space. There’s barely enough room for two, and they can’t sit up straight either, because there are coats hanging above them.

“So… we have seven minutes to kill… whaddya wanna do?”

Smiling smugly at Gabe, he nudges his side with his elbow. Gabriel sighs, and turns to him too.

“We wait, what d’you wan’ us to do?”

“We’re supposed to kiss, at least,” Dean answers, shrugging.

 “You’re drunk off your ass.”

“You’re drunk, too.”

But Gabe doesn’t look at him, doesn’t smile, and Dean starts to feel like something’s wrong. Maybe Gabriel feels humiliated. Maybe he thinks the other will laugh at him because the bottle chose him to be here with Dean. And Dean feels guilty about that, all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t’ve asked to play that stupid game. Just wanted to find you a girl. And you get stuck with me.”

He snorts, because it’s still funny. Gabe seems to perk up, and he looks at Dean, one eyebrow quirked.

“You did that to get me laid?”

Dean nods, and they start laughing together.

“You really suck as a wing man…”

Dean tries to look offended, but he can’t stop laughing.

“Not my fault that you suck, period.”

They both snort. It’s so fucking hot inside the closet, Dean tries to fan himself with his hand, but it doesn’t do much. There’s a bead of sweat slowly sliding down Gabe’s face. Without even thinking about it, Dean wipes it away with the back of his hand.

Gabriel pushes his hand away.

“Dude.”

“What, Dean?”

“We should totally kiss.”

Gabriel sighs, but he smiles, eyeing Dean.

“You couldn’t handle me, Dean-o. If I do kiss you, you won’t be able to keep your hands off me.”

He smirks, and Dean huffs.

“Right. Think you can turn this man,” he points at his chest with his thumbs, “and make him like dicks?”

“You know I could. I just never hit on you out of respect for our friendship.”

“Sure. You can try. Don’t mean you’ll succeed.”

“Is that a dare, Winchester?”

Dean can’t help but grin. He loves bets and dares, and Gabriel does, too. They’ve lost so much money to each other it’s almost getting ridiculous.

“I don’t know, do you want it to be a dare?”

Gabriel thinks about it for a moment before he replies.

 “Okay, let’s do this. Twenty bucks says you come back to get your fill when we’re done.”

“Alright.”

Gabriel folds his knees under him, and Dean does the same, until they’re face to face. They're so close Dean can smell whisky on Gabe’s breath.

For some unknown reason, Dean’s heart starts hammering in his chest.

“How do we do this?”

Gabriel arches an eyebrow. “Close your eyes and let the pro show you how it’s done.”

Dean snorts again, but he does as instructed. He closes his eyes, and waits. Gabriel’s mouth is soft and smooth, small, but it fits on Dean’s like they were meant to do that. It’s good, and Dean can even imagine it’s a girl since Gabe missed the call of puberty and never grew facial hair. Gabriel pulls away a little, planting a small kiss on the side of Dean’s mouth. He comes back with his tongue, licking at Dean’s lower lip until Dean opens his mouth to let him in.

Shit, he wasn’t lying. He’s really good at this. Dean could do it all night.

After what seem to be a too short amount of time, Gabe’s tongue disappears, and he pulls away. Dean almost follows to catch Gabe’s mouth again, but he remembers himself at the last second.

Opening his eyes, he blinks. Gabriel is smiling like he just won the lottery.

“So?”

Dean clears his throat, a bit flustered. “Not bad.”

Their faces are still really close. Dean can’t pull away. He doesn’t know if it’s because he’s drunk, but he feels like Gabe just hypnotized him. Fuck.

“Not bad? That’s it?”

“Okay, my turn,” Dean says, ignoring him.

He licks his lips and gives Gabriel an expectant look.

“Fine. But you won’t be as good as me,” Gabriel answers, smug.

“Sure, whatever you say.”

“Bring it on, then, Hot Shot!”

“Close your eyes, dumbass.”

Gabriel huffs but does as Dean says. Dean leans over him, limbs trembling a little, and puts his lips on Gabe’s. He nips at his lower lip, sucking on it, then he pushes on, moving his mouth slowly. He doesn’t use his tongue, not yet. He waits a bit, taking his time, until he can feel Gabe getting impatient. Finally he opens his mouth a little more, caressing Gabe’s tongue with his own. God. This is so fucked up. Dean loves it. Gabe’s mouth is just perfect. Perfect size, perfect taste. He keeps his eyes open through all of it, to gauge Gabriel’s reaction.

Okay, maybe Dean can appreciate pickles from time to time. Maybe this one could do…

He pulls away when he suddenly feels a moan wanting to come out of his throat. He holds it back. This is just a dare. When Gabriel opens his eyes again and looks at him, Dean raises his eyebrows, questioning.  

“I guess we’re both pros,” Gabriel just whispers, his voice hoarse.

Dean nods. “What do we do about the bet, then?”

Gabriel hums as he seems to think about it. His mouth twists as he does, and Dean can’t keep his eyes off it. Shit.

“Let’s do it again, just once,” Gabe says after a while. “First one to pop a boner loses.”

Dean laughs. “Alright. Limits?”

“No hands. No groping.”

“Okay.”

Wiping his hands on his jeans, Dean tries not to show how eager he is. And, anyway, he isn’t. It’s just the alcohol in his veins talking. It always makes him horny. And objectively speaking, Gabe is kinda hot.

Gabriel moves closer again.

“Ready?”

Dean nods, his throat suddenly dry. Then Gabe’s mouth is on his, he closes his eyes, and he loses all sense of time.

He doesn’t know how, but after a while they’re both sweating and panting in each other’s mouth. Gabe is straddling Dean's hips. Dean tries to keep his hands to himself, he really tries, but at one point he forgets, and he grabs Gabe’s ass, pulling him closer. Their groins come in contact and for a second Dean sees starts.

“Shit!”

“No hands, Dean,” Gabriel breathes.

Dean removes them. “Sorry.”

Gabriel bends down again, sucking on his lips. God, it’s starting to burn, but it’s so good. Gabe pushes his hips forward again.

“Fuck, Gabe, looks like someone’s hard.”

“You can talk,” Gabriel answers, grinding against him.

It sends little bursts of pleasure up Dean’s body. He’s not even thinking anymore. He’s half-conscious by now.

“Gabe, Gabe…”

“Dean?”

“We can’t… I mean, shit. You’re a guy, dude.”

Gabriel chuckles as he keeps kissing him. “I’m aware.”

“Your dick is touching my dick.”

“I know.”

“I can’t…”

He huffs when Gabe shuts him up, biting his lower lip until he stops complaining. Who cares if Gabe’s a guy? This is nice. This is more than nice. This is so awesome. God, he wants to touch Gabe everywhere. Fuck him and his rules.

“Guys!! Time’s up!”

They both jump when Jo knocks at the door. Gabriel lets go of him, pulling away. He clears his throat.

“I guess we’re even.”

“Yep.”

They stare at each other for a while, and Dean feels awkwardness creeping slowly between the both of them. It kills his boner instantly.

“Guys!!” Jo yells, knocking again.

“Yeah, yeah!” Dean yells back.

Fuck. Can’t they get two fucking minutes?

“We don’t look like we just chatted for seven minutes, Dean.”

Dean shrugs. “You know what? I’m too drunk to care.”

Gabriel laughs at that. Dean stands up, offering him his hand to help him up too and they get out, joining the others. Meg looks at them, suspicious, but that’s it. Nobody says anything, and the night goes on.

Dean thinks maybe he’ll feel weird in the morning, but he’s pretty sure he won’t remember much, anyway. 

_______________________________________

This isn’t good. Dean knows this isn’t good. He wasn’t supposed to remember that night. He was supposed to get wasted, forget everything, and life would go on. But as much as he drank that night, which is more than he ever did, he still remembers most of it, and he’s mortified.

He kissed Gabe. He kissed Gabe and he touched him and it felt… amazing. Must have been the alcohol, surely. It must have. He’s not even into dudes.

He doesn’t know what Gabe thinks about all this, he hasn’t talked to him since. He woke up in the middle of the living room, surrounded by people he doesn’t even know, and the memory came back to him in a rush.  Freaking out, he left, running to his parents’ house on the other side of the street. He doesn’t feel like facing Gabriel today.

First, he’s too hungover to. And second… shit, he kissed his best friend! That’s just… he doesn’t even have words for it. So he waits. Maybe Gabe won’t remember. Or if he does, he won’t talk about it, probably. So Dean decides, he won’t talk about it either. He’ll act as if it never happened. Yes. He’ll do that. That’s the best solution.

_______________________________________

From : Gabe      to : me                 2:25pm
Dean, ur up?

Dean is surprised to get a text from Gabe that early. It doesn’t mention any kissing, or any dick grinding, so he thinks it’s safe to answer.

From : me           to : Gabe             2:26pm
Yep. Whats up?

From : Gabe      to : me                 2:28pm       
u said ud help me tidy up the house and when I wake up ur gone.

From : me           to : Gabe             2:31pm
srry. Didn’t feel good. Went home to hurl in my own toilets. I can come help nw. Is everybdy gone?

From : Gabe      to : me                 2:38pm
Yes. andYeah thatd be great. I think we need to talk.

Dean frowns, looking at his phone. Shit. Might as well play dumb to see if this is about the kiss. Maybe it’s not.

From : me           to : Gabe             2:42pm
Bout what?

From : Gabe      to : me                 2:45pm
U know what. Hate to admit it but ive been thinking about it and I feel rlly uncomfortble. I just wanna know where we stand. We need to talk face to face. Don’t wanna do this over the phone.

Shit. Dean is so fucked. Why is it always the same thing? Gabe is worse than a girl. They don’t need to talk.

From : me           to : Gabe             2:51pm
Sorry. Don’t feel rlly good rn. Can we talk another time? Hangover :(

The answer is immediate.

From : Gabe      to : me                 2:51pm
Me too. Doesn’t change anythg. Can I come over?

From : me           to : Gabe             2:56pm
Gonna go take a nap, srry. Another time? Srsly Im beat

From : Gabe      to : me                 3:00pm
Dean this is srs. It seemed like a good idea at the time but man, idek if I could look u in the eyes rn. I think talking it out will help. Dont be a dick.

From : me           to : Gabe             3:01pm
We were drunk. We don’t need to talk about it. Shit happens.

From : Gabe      to : me                 3:04pm
… I know u like to act all macho man about everyth but this is serious. We need to talk.

From : me           to : Gabe             3:11pm
Don’t get all excitd. U know Im not into dudes. Was just a drunken mistake. We don’t need to talk about it.

Dean hits send and immediately regrets it. He’s a bit angry, now, but he shouldn’t take it out on Gabe. He knows that. But seriously, why does he want to talk so much? They’re not girls, they don’t do the touchy-feely conversation crap. For fuck’s sake!

But still… he shouldn’t get angry at Gabe. He doesn’t want to fight with him. He wants things to go back to normal.

From : me           to : Gabe             3:13pm
Sorry. Ddn’t mean to be rude. I know it’s weird but it didn’t mean anyth. I was drunk, u were drunk, end of story. Why do u want to talk about it? I dnt get it.

It takes a while before his phone light up again with a new text. Somehow he’s scared to read Gabe’s answer.

From : Gabe      to : me                  3:45pm
U didn’t stop to think that maybe it means someth to me? U think I’d risk ruining our friendship if it didn’t? u acted all nice last night, saying how much u liked it, begging me to do it again and now ur backing off just coz I wanna talk about it? Typical.

Dean’s heart stop for a second as he tries to remember what Gabe is talking about. He definitely never said anything about doing it again. Maybe after? He doesn’t remember much, true. But still. He knows what he’s about. He’s not into guys, Gabe knows that, and if he has some… some twisted needs, then he should keep them away from Dean, and that’s it. Fuck, Dean is so mad, all of a sudden. It was just a kiss! But he tries to hold back the anger as he answers.

From : me           to : Gabe             3:46pm
If it’s another one of ur prank, it’s not working. Dude, u know me. Stop fucking w me.

He sits back on a pillow, looking around at his bedroom. He has a room in his dorm, but there’s only here, in his parents’ house that he truly feels at home. And he spent so much time with Gabriel here… that’s why he likes this room best, he knows it. Fuck, he hopes Gabe is only joking. He doesn’t want to ruin their friendship. College is tough, and Dean doesn’t think he can do it without Gabe.

He looks at his phone. No answer yet. Maybe Gabe gave up. A knock on the door makes him jump a little. He clears his throat.

“Come in,” he says.

Gabriel opens the door, looking mighty pissed, and Dean stops breathing for a second. Gabe closes the door behind him, and waits where he stands, as far away from Dean as is physically possible.

“Hey,” Dean tries.

Gabriel just glares at him, crossing his arms over his chest.

 Dean sighs. “Look, I’m sorry man, I just… I feel bad, okay? I don’t wanna talk about it; It was nothin’”

Gabriel’s eyebrows shoot up. “Nothing? Dean, are you serious?”

Sitting up, uncomfortable, Dean frowns.

“I know, I’m a coward, Gabe, but there’s no need to act all angry about it.”

“I don’t get it. I just…” Gabriel starts. He throws his arms in the air, rolling his eyes. “I’ve known you a long time, I know you’re stupid, but you still manage to impress me sometimes.”

Dean is more and more confused. Seriously why is Gabe all worked up? It was just a kiss, they fought less for more than that. Like that time Dean landed Gabe’s car into a tree.

“I don’t get you, dude. Why are you being all bitchy over a friggin’ kiss?”

Gabriel’s eyes widen, and for a moment he looks suspicious. Then he opens his mouth, like he just understood something.

“Holy shit, Dean, I knew you were a fucking asshole but I never thought…”

He stops, hand over his mouth like he wants to stop himself from talking. His cheeks are getting red, and Dean is more lost than he’s ever been.

“What?”

Closing his eyes, Gabriel shakes his head like he can’t believe Dean.

“You really don’t remember what happened after we played your stupid game?” he asks, opening his eyes.

Dean doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t see what Gabriel is talking about.

“I…” he tries to think about it. But Gabe is right. He doesn’t remember anything after they got out of the closet. “I, uh… I remember getting back to the others. That’s pretty much it, but I don’t see why that’s important!”

He can’t help but be defensive. He doesn’t know why Gabe is angry, and it’s starting to piss him off.

“Great,” Gabriel deadpans.

He’s smiling bitterly, and it looks like he wants to cry.

“Gabe, if you don’t talk to me I can’t know what you’re talking about, and I can’t fix it. Whatever it is I did, I… I guess I’m sorry for it? Is that what you want to hear?”

“Fuck you, Dean,” Gabe says.

And he storms out, just like that.

_______________________________________

Dean Winchester                                          
 -------- 2 days ago  -------------

Dude? Talk to me.
Come on. Saw u today. U were avoiding me.
wtf?
Gabe, plz answer. Idk what I did wrong. Ill fix it
if u tell me I promise.
-------- 12 hours ago ------------
Gabriel Novak
Gabe
Gabriel
G?
Come on.
…
Listen, idk what I did. U wanna be a little bitch, fine.
don’t take it out on me, ok?
--------- 8 hours ago ---------------
im sorry. Whtevr I did im sorry, ok? Im apologizing.
behaving like a grwn up. Talk to me man.
Cas said I shouldn’t text u. I rlly want to.
R u still coming for pizza tonite?

-------- 2 hours ago ----------------
U didn’t show up. Guess ur rlly mad, uh?
idk wat to do to make u talk to me.
Plz
Gabe
miss u man
------- 25 min ago ------------------
That meg girl told me to stop writing to u.
How did she get my number? Did u give it to her?
------ 2 min ago ---------------------
man I should be sleepin, have a big ass test tomorrow.
but I cant stop thinking about u.
Ok, that sounds rlly gay.
I mean I cant stand when we don’t talk.
…
plz tell me somth. Antyh. Tell me wat I hav to do so
u’ll talk to me.

Wanna grab a beer after class tomorrow, maybe?

Going to sleep
plz tell me yes or no for beer

Dean feels like a girl who’s been rejected by a long time crush, and he can’t stand it. He can’t stand when Gabe is angry at him, and it’s always been like that, and he knows it won’t ever change. But this time it’s different. Usually, Gabriel pulls some awful prank on him to pass his nerves, and everything goes back to normal. Now he’s just straight up ignoring him. It never happened before. Dean is fucking scared.

Sighing, he’s about to turn off his computer, when the instant messaging software beeps.

                ------ 10 min ago ---------------------

Wanna grab a beer after class tomorrow, maybe?

Going to sleep
plz tell me yes or no for beer

Gabriel The Dude Novak 
When you remember we’ll talk. Till then, stop
bothering me.

Dean keeps staring at his screen for a long time.

Whatever it is that Gabriel wants him to remember, it must be really bad if he doesn’t want to tell Dean about it. Shit. Dean feels knots form in his stomach. What the fuck did he do to piss Gabe off like that? He feels a flush of shame, and even if he doesn’t know why, it twists his insides and makes his head spin.

Shit. He’ll just go to bed. He can figure this out tomorrow.

_______________________________________

Dean makes it his mission to find out what happened that night. It takes him a week to finally remember.

First he goes to see Lisa. She gives him a once over, ask him if he’s serious and slaps him. He doesn’t know what he did. Seriously, that birthday party is the worst thing that ever happened to him.

He calls Jo, but she says she doesn’t know anything.

He texts Cas, but doesn’t get an answer.

So he walks around campus to see if he can recognize some people from the party. He finds the bearded dude, but the guy doesn’t even remember being there.

Dean sucks at this investigation crap. He’s about to give up when he hears someone behind him. He knows who that is. He knows that voice, curling around each syllables, drawing the words lazily. He’d recognize that drawl anywhere.

“Well, well, well, look who we have here.”

“Meg…” he says, turning around.

He almost chokes on his own saliva when he sees Gabriel is with her. The sneaky bastard.

“Hey,” Dean adds, looking at his friend.

But Gabe looks away. Okay, this isn’t going to be easy.

“What are you doing here? You don’t have any classes in this building,” Meg asks, sounding suspicious.

Dean sighs. Might as well tell the truth.

“I was looking for people who were at my birthday party, because I can’t remember a fucking thing, and it's getting annoying.”

He stares at Gabe as he says so. Meg snorts.

“Right. Any luck, so far?”

Dean looks down, defeated. “No.”

“Aaaw. Don’t worry, you’ll get there. You just need a little push, maybe.”

Gabriel’s head snap up. “Don’t, Meg—“

“Like, I don’t know, something you said could maybe spark a memory…”

“Meg.”

Gabriel’s voice turns menacing. Meg smiles, mischievious, nudging Gabe with her elbow. “Come on, don’t be like that. I thought you wanted him to remember so ‘It would be over as soon as possible’.”

She air-quotes her last words.

Dean is fucking tired of all this bullshit.

“Right, thanks for your help, but no thanks,” he says, anger resurfacing. He turns to Gabe. “This is just fucked up, you realize that? I don’t know what I did and you just won’t tell me, so I can’t do anything about it. I tried, Gabe. I don’t know, okay? I can’t remember. I was drunk, because it was my fucking birthday!”

Gabriel opens his mouth to answer, looking as equally pissed as Dean is feeling, but Meg is faster.

“Oooh, Gabe, I’m gonna make you feel so good,” she moans, “please, please, Gabe, just let me— Ow!”

She stops when Gabe hits her in the arm, half-laughing, half wincing in pain. She still manages to wink at Dean. Dean frowns at her, wondering where all that came from, when it hits him. Suddenly. Just like that.

It’s not an epiphany. He doesn’t see the events of that night flash in front of his eyes. No. Suddenly, he knows.

He remembers.

He feels his whole face, his whole body getting hot, and for a second his eyes get stuck on Gabriel. He’s pretty sure he’s so surprised it must look comical. But he’s not laughing. Oh no. God no.

“Ah, there it is, finally!” Meg beams.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, no, he didn’t, he didn’t, it’s a nightmare. The ground is going to open up and swallow him. He can’t believe he did what he remembers doing. It’s not… it’s so not like him. Shit! Shit, holy fuck!

He stays there, speechless, his mouth open in disbelief. He’s pretty sure he must be a nice cherry red color, now. As his head starts to spin, he closes his eyes. If he doesn’t look at Gabriel, who seems as flustered as he is, maybe it’ll help. He feels like his feet are glued to the ground.

“You okay, Winchester?”

Meg’s voice brings him back to the present, and he tries to shake the shame off. But he can’t. He can’t move. Shit. If he opens his eyes and look at Gabe, he won’t be able to move from this very spot ever again.

“I’m just going to… turn around and leave,” he whispers.

And he does just that. He feels the phantom weight of Gabriel’s gaze on him all the way to his dorm room. 

_______________________________________

 “Where’s Gabriel?” Balthazar asks.

He looks bored. Dean raises an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t know, man. He went upstairs. Maybe he’s sick.”

“That better be the only explanation, Winchester…” Meg almost growls.

Dean doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. But he heard she was a huge bitch, so he tries not to pay attention.

“I hope he’s okay,” Jo says, looking around.

Dean sighs. “I’ll go check on him.”

He has trouble standing up. They played another round of Seven minutes, but he’s getting tired of the game, now. It’s no fun without Gabe here. He pushes Lisa who’s all over him, and gives her an apologetic smile. He’ll get some action later. For now, Gabe disappeared, and he won’t allow that. It’s his birthday, for fuck’s sake!

It must be getting late, Dean thinks as he crosses the living room. Some people are already passed out on the couch. Everybody looks mighty drunk. Definitely the best birthday party ever. Dean’s very proud, and very grateful to Gabriel. He needs to remember to thank Gabe’s parents as well. After all, it’s their house, and they absolutely knew why Gabe asked them to go away this week end.

They’re pretty cool, Dean thinks as he walks up the stairs.

He walks straight to the bathroom, trying the door when he gets here. It opens right away, all the lights are off. So Gabe’s not here. Uh, weird. Where has he gone?

Swaying a little bit on his feet, Dean turns around, heading for Gabe’s bedroom. Maybe he went to sleep. He was pretty wasted. Not as wasted as Dean, obviously, but still. Dean snorts thinking about that. Yeah, he’s completely hammered, and it’s awesome. He hasn’t even been sick, yet.

He knocks on the door to Gabriel’s bedroom.

“Gabe? Gaaabriel!” he sing-songs, happily.

He doesn’t get a reply, so he peaks behind the door. Gabe is sitting on his childhood bed, looking sad, and lost, and staring at his feet. Dean closes the door behind him, suddenly worried. He tries to forget the flash of lust he gets when he sees his friend. Pickles are disgusting, he tries to remind himself.

“What’s up, dude?” he asks, coming closer and sitting on the bed next to Gabriel.

“Nothin’.”

“Right.”

He can’t help but laugh quietly. He stops when Gabriel looks up at him. He seems… thoughtful.

He clears his throat. “Talk to me, man.”

Hesitating, Gabriel shifts his weight, bringing his legs under himself. His knees touch Dean’s thigh. It sends a spark of desire up Dean’s spine.

“I…” he huffs. “Nevermind. Let’s go back downstairs.”

He starts to get up but Dean pulls him back. “Tell me. It’s my birthday, we’re not getting outta here until you tell me what’s wrong. Nobody’s allowed to be sad, tonight.”

He tries to smile reassuringly. Truth is, he’s getting horny. Or at least it feels like it. Shit, he shouldn’t have drank that much. Or he shouldn’t have kissed Gabe in the first place. Or both.

“Okay, I’ll tell you but you have to promise me you won’t judge.”

Dean puts his hand flat above his heart. “I swear.”

“Seriously, Dean-o, I know you won’t like it. So… are you sure you wanna know?”

“It’s fine, Gabe, spill it out!”

Gabriel takes a deep breath.

“ It’s just… you kissed me, and it was awesome and I needed a bit of time alone to get my shit together. I know you don’t like guys, Dean, I don’t have any hopes it will go anywhere, and I don’t want it to. You’re my best friend. But it’s just… weird.”

Dean studies him for a second.

“Yeah, I know what you mean…”

A bit surprised, Gabriel looks up at him. “You do?”

Dean nods. “But it’s probably because we’re wasted. And it’s just a dare, right?”

Gabriel looks down at his feet again. “Right.”

Dean looks down at his hands. He doesn’t know what to say to that. An awkward silence falls on them. They don’t make a move to get out of here, though.

“We still don’t know who’s best,” Dean says after a while.

He can’t help it. He knows he shouldn’t say that, he shouldn’t push, but what happened in the closet keeps replaying in his mind and it’s making his blood boil with… something.

“There’s nothing more we can do to find out, though.”

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know, we can find something.”

“You’ve never done anything with a guy, you won’t know what to do, and then I’ll win, and you’ll sulk for a week. Don’t try to play tough.”

Dean smiles, looking at his friend. “You know I’m a natural. I’d be totally great at everything, even if I never did it before.”

Gabriel sighs, raising an eyebrow. “You’d suck a dick just to prove you’re better than me?”

“Why not?”

“You’re unbelievable. Can’t you let me have one thing I’m best at?”

“No,” Dean says, his smile widening.  

“Don’t smile at me like that, I know what you’re thinking. We’re not doing anything you might regret tomorrow when you sober up.”

“You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause you don’t wanna lose.”

Gabriel looks a bit more serious, now. “Dean.”

“What?”

“You’re serious?”

“yeah.”

Gabriel twists his mouth again, and Dean suddenly realizes how hot it is when he does that. He’s doing it all the time, but it never seemed that sexual before.

“You sure you won’t regret it in the morning? I know how you feel about, uh… pickles.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. What’s the stake?”

Gabriel huffs, and Dean can see the wheels turning in his brain. Finally, he seems to take a decision.

“Fifty bucks.”

“A hundred. Come on.”

Gabriel hesitates, and stares at Dean one last time, squinting.

“Fine. What do you want to do?”

Dean pulls his knees up and kneels on the bed, suddenly excited.

“I said I’d suck a dick, right? We do that to each other, when we’re about to come we stop, and we see who holds on the longest.”

Gabriel snorts. “You, Dean Winchester, are going to suck my dick?”

“Yeah. Why? Scared I’ll ruin you for everyone else?”

“Don’t flatter yourself… I’m just impressed. I’ve never seen you so committed.”

“Shuddup, I’ll start then. We’ll see if you’re still smiling when I’m done with you.”

Shrugging, Gabriel lies back in his bed. It’s small, and not very comfortable, but it’ll make do. Dean lies on top of him, and they look at each other for a second. It’s all wrong. Gabe’s the wrong size, the wrong built, but Dean feels so fucking turned on, nonetheless. This is going to be fun.

“Limits?”

“No limits. Do your best,” Gabriel answers.

“Okay. Clothes on or off?”

Gabe sits up, pulling off his shirt. “Off.” He shreds his clothes, and threw them on the floor.

Dean takes a second to look at him, really look at him. He’s seen him naked before, but never like this. He takes his shirt, jeans and shorts off, gets his phone out of his pocket, and opens the chronometer app.

 “Here we go,” he whispers, starting the time on his phone and putting it down on Gabe’s nightstand.

He settles between Gabriel’s legs, suddenly scared. It’s just a fucking penis, he tells himself. No different than a pussy. Just a dick. Skin on nerve endings.

“You’re wasting time,” Gabe says, managing to sound smug even though his breath is significantly shorter than a minute ago.

Dean takes a breath. Here we go, then. It’s just skin. He can do this.

He bends down, ignoring his fears, and lick a long stripe from Gabe’s balls to the tip of his dick. Okay, not bad. It tastes like skin, at least. This is easy. He sucks at the tip, licking the pre-come there. It’s not so different than it is for girls. Except… maybe girls taste sweeter. But he’s too drunk to care. It’s fine. Gabe’s shaft is soft, there’s no hair getting in the way, and it’s really… nice. He’s not too long, not too big either, he’s just… the perfect size for Dean’s mouth. It’s incredible.

“You know I had- had a dream like that, once,” Gabriel says, as Dean starts rolling his tongue around his flesh. “ ‘always thought you had a cock-sucking mouth.”

Dean laughs around Gabe’s shaft, making Gabriel gasp. Dean’s dick jumps at the sound. He keeps going, taking as much as he can into his mouth and he starts bobbing his head up and down. He knows what’s good on him, so he tries what he likes, twirling his tongue around whenever he reaches the tip. Gabriel isn’t vocal, apparently, but he likes to talk. Dean never thought he could still learn new things about Gabe at this point in their friendship.

“Ah, Dean, I can’t believe I have my dick in your mouth,” he laughs, his fist tightened hard in the sheets around him. “If you could see yourself I s- swear, you look like a fucking—ah, shit, stop, Dean, stop now or I’m gonna—“

Dean pulls away, licking his lips, and he reaches for his phone, stopping the clock. He shows it to Gabe.

“Seven minutes, fifty-nine second. New record.”

Gabriel stares at the phone for a while, his cheeks red and eyes glazing. He looks exhausted.

“Gimme a minute and I’ll show you what’s what,” he lets out.

“Come on,” Dean answers, pulling him up until he’s sitting, “my turn.”

He pushes Gabe on the side until he’s the one lying on his back.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Gabriel says, pulling at his arm. “Not like that.”

He manoeuvers Dean until Dean is sitting on the side of the bed, feet on the ground. As he slides off the bed he kneels between Dean’s legs. Then he pushes Dean back, lifting Dean’s legs and taking them over his shoulder.

“You’re cheating,” Dean says.

Why didn’t he think about changing position? Shit.

“No I’m not, we said no limits. That means no rules. So I can do what I want. You clean? Please tell me you are, I just want to get started.”

“Uh, yeah. Got tested last month for—hey!”

“Good.”

Gabriel pulls at Dean’s legs again, until Dean’s butt is almost hanging above the ground.

“What the—“ Dean tries, but Gabriel’s mouth is already on him.

Fuck, shit, fuck, he knows what he’s doing! Dean never thought it would be different but, shit! Gabriel really knows what he’s doing, more so than the girls Dean’s been with, that’s for sure. It feels like there’re at least three tongues on Dean, licking, sucking at him until he sees stars.

“Wanna see my party trick?” Gabriel asks, looking up.

He doesn’t wait for an answer. When he bends down again, Dean can do nothing but stare with wide eyes as his dick disappears all the way into Gabe’s throat.

“Holy shit, Gabe!”

Gabriel hums, and Dean loses his shit. When Gabriel’s hand goes down to touch his sack he feels a great wave of pleasure crashing over him.

“Ah shit, Gabe stop, stop, stop, shit!”

Gabriel slows down, carefully pulling out, Dean’s dick making a wet ‘pop’ as it bobs out of his mouth. He takes something from the floor, and looks at it, smiling wild. It’s Dean’s phone. When he shows Dean the time, Dean can’t believe it.

“You cheated,” he pants. “You turned it on later, you friggin’ deep-throating bastard!”

Gabriel barks a laugh. “Nope. Four minutes, thirty-eight seconds, Dean. I’m the King of blowjobs.”

“Shut up, I don’t believe you.”

“You sucked a dick and you failed. How does that feel?”

“I said shut up,” Dean answers, slightly vexed. “Let’s try something else, just to be sure.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe how competitive you are. The only reason I’m saying yes is because I really want to get off. What should we do?”

“Let’s fuck.”

“Dean.”

“What?!”

Okay, he’s a bit angry. He doesn’t even know why. It’s not rational, and he never thought in all his life he would get all worked up over his dick-sucking skills, but he wants to be the best tonight, because it’s his birthday, and he’s drunk, and yeah. He can fuck Gabe. He can do that. It’s not… okay, maybe it’s weird, a bit. But he just sucked Gabe’s dick, he doesn’t see why he can’t fuck him in the ass as well.

“Are you sure about this?”

Gabe sounds worried, all of a sudden. Dean doesn’t get why.

“Of course I am. I’m gonna make you come so hard you won’t know what hit you.”

“I’m not kidding, Dean,” Gabriel says, quiet now. He sits up on the bed. “It’s… different. Blowing someone and having sex with them, it’s different. You’re sure you won’t regret it tomorrow?”

Dean huffs, rolling on his side to face his friend. “Are you going to regret it?”

“I don’t know…”

“You’re just freaking out, Gabe, don’t put that on me. Come on, it’s gonna be fun!”

“I’m all for a bit of fun, but I don’t want it to turn into something we don’t want.”

“Dude,” Dean sighs. “I’m naked. In your bed. I sucked your dick. Don’t you think I’d have freaked out sooner?”

Gabriel twists his mouth, thinking. He’s doing it again, God.

“Stop doing that,” Dean orders.

“What?”

“What you’re doing right now. With your mouth.”

He can’t help it, he has to lean over and suck on Gabriel’s lips. He pushes him back until Gabe’s head hits his pillow.

“Please, Gabe,” he whispers in his mouth, “please, I’m gonna make you feel so good, I swear,” he leaves a trail of kisses on the side of Gabe’s mouth until he reaches his neck, “please, let me fuck you.”

Gabriel lets out a fake whine. “How can I refuse when you ask like that? You bastard.”

Dean looks up. “Does that mean you’re in?”

Smiling, Gabe rolls his eyes. “Yeah…”

“Awesome,” Dean beams, helping Gabe adjust his position.

“Not so fast, Dean-o, you need to prep me first. Unless you want me to do it.”

Dean is a bit taken aback. “Prep you?”

“Yeah, stretch me out.”

“I, uh…”

He freezes, staring at Gabe, wondering what he should do. He’s never done that before. He never thought that… place, needed stretching. But it’s, uh, yeah, it’s logical.

“I don’t wanna do it wrong.”

“I’ll show you.”

Rolling on his side, Gabriel opens the drawer of his nightstand and takes out a bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. He lies back again, and wriggles his eyebrows at Dean.

“Watch and learn,” he purrs.

Dean sits back on his heels, right in front of Gabe, and he waits. Everything’s a bit blurry, and he’s slightly light headed, but he’s never felt so pumped in his life. For anything. Gabriel opens the lube, dropping a good amount on his fingers, and starts rubbing his hole. Dean feels his cheeks get hot.

“See, you have to go veeery slow,” Gabriel comments. “I’m a bit used to it, so you can just…” he trails off, pushing two fingers inside.

Dean nods. And he keeps nodding as he watches Gabe add a third inside of himself. He’s sweating now. Hell, Dean’s sweating too just by watching him.

 “Come on, wrap it up, Winchester, we don’t have all night,” Gabriel lets out, throwing the pack of condoms at Dean with his free hand.  

Dean fumbles a bit with the wrapping of the condom, his fingers slipping on it. He tries with his teeth, but it doesn’t work either.

“Fuck!”

Gabriel chuckles, taking the bit of plastic off his hands. He’s done opening himself up, it seems, so Dean just watches him as he tears the wrapping open and unrolls it on Dean’s dick.

“There. You nervous?” He lies back, and winks at Dean. “Don’t worry I’m pretty sure you know what to do from here on.”

Laughing, Dean settles between Gabe’s legs, the tip of his cock pushing at Gabe’s hole. He hesitates for a moment, because as he looks down on Gabe’s naked body, it occurs to him, once again, that this is Gabriel, the guy he knows since kindergarten, his best friend, and a guy, and he’s going to put his dick up his ass. God.

His head spinning a little, he takes a breath.

“You okay?” Gabriel asks.

Dean nods. “Bit overwhelmed. Or smashed. I don’t know.”

“You wanna stop?”

“No! no, I’m good. I’m good…”

He starts pushing. “Slow, Dean-o. Right, just like that. Careful…”

They both groan as Dean’s groin reaches Gabe’s balls, and he freezes when he’s finally all the way in.

“Holy shit,” he whispers. He can’t believe it. “You’re so fucking hot, fuck!”

It feels like his dick is burning up. Burning up with pleasure, and need, and shit, he has to move. He doesn’t want to hurt Gabe but he has to move.

“Gabe, Can I..?”

“Do it, Dean, come on.”

Shit, he’s so fucking drunk! It makes everything feels ten times stronger as he starts moving in and out. Gabe lifts his knees until they’re up to his chest and he starts laughing.

“Yes, yes, Dean, right here, right – ah!”

“I didn’t know y-you had such a – fuck! A dirty mouth, Gabe,” Dean pants.

“You think this is dirty?”

Dean shrugs, unable to answer.

“Come on, harder, you fucking prick, you’re not gonna break me!”

“Shit, Gabe,” Dean can’t help but laugh.

This is so weird, but yet so natural. He’s never had as much fun having sex before.

“S-scratch that. You suck at dirty talking.”

Gabe’s hand lands on Dean’s ass and starts pushing with him.

“I guess I’m better at making people beg,” he smiles, smug.

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

He doesn’t know how he still manages to be coherent. Gabe is so hot around him, so soft, the heat increasing the pleasure tenfold. He’s going to come so fucking hard, shit!

Gabriel smirks, letting his legs fall on the side. Dean loses his rhythm, a bit confused, and Gabriel takes advantage and rolls them over again. Now he’s sitting on Dean, Dean’s dick buried deep inside of him. Dean feel a bit dizzy, finding himself suddenly on his back. Sweat starts dripping down his temples.

Gabriel just smiles at him. He starts moving his hips slowly, in a circle, again and again, without pushing up. Fuck. It’s not enough to make Dean come but it’s enough to make him lose his mind.

Without warning, Gabriel pushes on his thighs, letting Dean slide almost completely out of him, and snaps his ass down.

Dean stops breathing for a second. Gabriel does it again. And another time. And again.

“If you do that one more time I’m gonna come,” Dean lets out.

Gabriel leans over him, holding himself up with both his hands on Dean’s sides. He starts rolling his hips again, his breathing getting hard. He just smiles and keeps going, until Dean feels a bit lighter, until he can’t wait to pound into Gabe again.

“Come on,” he growls.

“What? Am I boring you,” he snaps his hips up and down again, “Dean?”

Dean lets out a moan, he can’t help it.

“Can you –shit! Just move already!”

Gabriel laughs. He bends down a little bit more and nibbles at Dean’s ear.

“Ask nicely,” he whispers.

And shit, this is the hottest thing ever.

“Ah! Gabe, fuck, Gabriel, please, move.”

“You want me to fuck myself on your cock?”

Ah, fuck, seriously, he didn’t know this side of Gabe, but he loves it already.

“You kinky bastard,” he breathes.

Gabriel straightens up and slaps his thigh.

“Dude!” Dean exclaims.

“Do you?”

“Yes!!”

“Then say it.”

“Please! I want you to fuck yourself on my –shit!”

Gabriel goes wild after that. He keeps bouncing over Dean like Dean’s just a fucking mechanical bull and Dean gets lost in pleasure. He feels it grow and grow inside of him, making every muscle in his body tighten in anticipation of what’s to come.

They end up glued together by their mouths, Gabriel bending forward, his hands on the headboard, Dean holding onto his ass like it’s the only thing keeping his soul from escaping his body. Everything feels fucking surreal, and perfect, and, fuck, why would he ever regret this?

Gabriel comes first, surprisingly, and feeling his ass clenching around his dick, Dean can’t help but come as well. It’s the best fucking orgasm of his entire life. He almost blacks out under the force of it. When it’s over, Gabriel lets himself fall and flips on his back. They’re both breathing hard.

Looking up at the ceiling, Dean frowns, trying to find something that would give away the fact that this is all a dream. A really weird, really good dream.

“I fucked my best friend,” he says.

He doesn’t know why he does. Gabriel laughs. It’s not a dream. Not a fucking dream.

“Yeah, you did.”

Dean sighs, contented. He can’t believe it, but it happened. He sits up, pulling the condom off his dick and retrieving his boxer shorts.

“Leaving already? Aw, Dean, you hurt my feelings.”

“I need to take a leak, you moron.”

Gabriel rolls on his belly. Dean can’t help but stare at his ass. Okay, his ass is mighty fine, now that he looks closer.

“I know, I look awesome,” Gabriel says, wriggling his butt.

Dean laughs and leans over him, stealing a kiss.

“Be right back.”

“’Kay. I’m not promising I won’t fall asleep while I wait for you, though.”

Feeling more than good by now, and pushed a little by the aftermath of his orgasm, Dean starts sucking on Gabriel’s neck as he massages his butt.

“We’ll see about that. Maybe I’ll wake you up for round two.”

“You really wanna do it again?” Gabriel whispers. “You’re not freaking out?”

Dean pushes himself away and stands up, a small smile on his lips as he puts his shirt and pants on.

“No, I’m not. And you bet I wanna do that again. You need to teach me lots of stuff if we wanna make that a regular thing.”

Gabe just hums in answer. “You’re just saying that because you’re drunk.” His eyes are closed, his arms folded under his head. He looks… eerily perfect, his dirty blond hair only lit by the light coming from the bedside lamp.

“Not true. You’ll see.”

“Sure, Dean.”

As Dean gets out, and starts taking a piss, he feels like all his blood is getting back to his head. He decides to stop by the kitchen to grab a beer. When he wants to get out, Meg is blocking the way.

“Is that a used condom in your hand?”

Shit, Dean forgot about that. How could he forget? He throws it in the trash, and turns around again.

“Nope,” he smiles, as he pushes past her.

He doesn’t have time for this bullshit. He drinks his beer as fast as he can, with the firm intention to go up there again and give Gabe another earth shattering orgasm. He shouldn’t be walking so fast. Hell, he shouldn’t be drinking so fast. Shit. The room starts pinning. He takes one, two steps and his legs give out from under him. Well. He’s gonna wait here, then. If he lies down it’ll be better. He’s sure it’s gonna go away in a minute.