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Loki’s handcuffed but not gagged, and he’s sleeping in Clint’s room tonight. Clint had lost Wii tennis with Tony, and therefore it was decided that his bedroom would be the one sacrificed for as long as it took for Heimdall to get over his flu and get back on the Rainbow Bridge again (when Heimdall was gone it was closed). Clint didn’t approve of the idea, not at all. He moaned and grumbled and demanded a rematch.
“Okay,” Tony said, “but Steve plays.”
“This is probably not a good idea, Clint,” Bruce advised.
“Cap’s never played tennis in his life, have you, Cap?” Clint asked. Steve shook his head no.
“See,” Clint said. “Bad call, Stark.”
Steve beat Clint in under a minute, which had to be some sort of record.
“Fuck the stupid steroid serum,” Clint swore, flinging his controller onto the floor.
“Not in front of Moira,” Steve scolded.
Moira looked up from where she was sitting with Natasha on the floor, watching Supernatural. “SteveSteveSteve?” she asked.
“Nothing, girl,” Steve said. “Clint’s just being a sore loser.”
“It’s decided, then!” Thor announced from the sofa. “Clint’s bedroom. Come along, Loki, let’s see if he has pajamas that fit you. Thank you, brother, your kindness will not be forgotten,” he added to Clint, leading Loki to the stairs.
“I’m not lending my pajamas to an evil super villain,” Clint snapped.
“I don’t want your fucking pajamas,” Loki informed him.
“Language,” Steve said.
“Why isn’t he gagged, tell me again, Thor?” asked Tony.
Approximately five hours earlier they’d all been enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon- all of them except Thor, who’d said he had to run out for some errands. That in itself was strange as Thor never did errands- he ordered other people for More or Another, and was the biggest contributer to the shopping list. But he didn’t actually do them. Not after the time Steve had asked him to do laundry and he came back at sunset, having spent the whole day endlessly fascinated with the spinner. The same thing had happened at the grocery store (checkout counter), the pizza place (magnificent huge oven), and the pet store, to get Moira her food (endlessly fascinating Midgardian creatures!). Steve took over laundry, Tony claimed takeout, and Natasha volunteered to get Moira’s food. Thor helped with the garden and did a lot of press, which he seemed to enjoy, if no-one else (except perhaps Tony, sometimes) did. But they’d let Thor run out and thought nothing of it until he came back at five thirty with his brother in tow.
“Hey, Thor, what took you so- argh,” Tony said. The Wii version of himself fell to the ground after a roundhouse kick from Clint’s.
“What’s he doing here, Thor?” Steve asked in what he hoped was a politely enquiring tone.
“He’s come to stay the night!” Thor announced.
“How about, you heard I was around and kidnapped me and tied me up and brought me here,” Loki offered.
“Does he really have nowhere else to sleep?” asked Bruce.
Thor looked pained. “I could not leave my brother wandering the streets, the Rainbow Bridge is closed and this world is unfriendly to him, they all know his face and they refuse to give him lodgings now-“
“With good reason,” Natasha said.
“-so I told him he could stay the night! Just one night, please, Captain, after all is said and done, he is my brother.”
Loki snorted.
“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before, it seems vaguely familiar,” Steve said.
“We’re not letting a horrible villain sleep over,” Tony announced.
Thor said please and Tony said no, Natasha said He’ll kill us in our sleep and Steve and Bruce were vaguely disapproving, but the debate was decided when Moira went over and rubbed her cheek against Loki’s leg and said, happily, “LokiLokiLoki.” Loki looked down at her with something that looked a lot like affection but which he soon changed into his best get-this-filthy-vermin-off-me sneer.
Steve said “Moira, what are you doi-“ and Bruce said “Moira should have a say,” and Natasha said “The dog’s not stupid,” and Clint looks doubtful and Tony said “One night, and only because Moira says so.”
The next order of business was where Loki should sleep, for which they developed an elaborate Olympic-style point-based Wii tournament which comprised of – among others- wrestling, bowling, and tennis. Natasha won every round and Steve couldn’t get the hang of ping-pong because he insisted on hitting the ball as hard as he could and Thor was especially good at the dance round and Loki sneered without falter at every single game. In the end Clint lost to Tony at tennis, demanded a rematch, and was roundly beaten by Steve.
“Can he borrow your toothbrush for later?” Thor calls down to Clint from upstairs.
“No!” Clint squawks.
“Thank you, brother,” Thor calls. “He is most grateful.”
“Don’t want his germy toothbrush,” Loki informs both of them.
“Now, brother,” says Thor.
Loki reappears a few minutes later, hair damp, clad in sweatpants and an old t-shirt that looks old and grey, and looking distinctly displeased about it. He looks much more human like this, though, thinks Tony; younger, more a boy, as if the absence of the helmet and the robes had taken years off his age. Sometimes Tony forgets that Loki was a teenager who’d found out most of his life had been a lie- what with the violent killings and plans for world domination. Tony prefers not to think about this any further, though; he has a feeling it would depress him more than he would like.
“We’ve been waiting for you,” Bruce says to Thor; they’re all in the living room with Lord of the Rings paused at the beginning. Thor leads Loki to the other sofa. Loki wrenches his arm away and sits on the carpet, the furthest possible corner from them.
Moira lifts her head from Steve’s lap. “Sorry TonyTonyTony,” she apologises as she walks on Tony’s thighs to get to the floor and Tony lets out an oof. She trots over to where Loki is and curls up against his leg, eyes on the tv.
Steve looks at Tony. Tony shrugs. Bruce presses play, and snow-capped mountains come into view, and Thor says “Pretty.” Loki’s not looking at any of them, but his hand reaches out surreptitiously, touches Moira’s head tentatively as Steve asks, “That short one, I thought he was on the other side of the big grassy place,” and Natasha says “It’s the other short one, Cap,” and Clint steals some of Bruce’s popcorn, having already finished his.
Loki’s story: it would depress the hell out of Tony, if he let it.
When the movie ends Bruce yawns, says I’m going to turn in. Natasha is already asleep- in the more-aware-of-her-surroundings-than-the-people-who-are-awake way she has. Thor is still talking excitedly to Clint about “the large burning eyeball!” Tony has somehow ended up with his head on Steve’s shoulder and Steve’s big, warm arm around his waist, hand on his stomach. When the credits roll he moves away quickly, but Loki’s eyes are on him.
“Come along, brother,” Thor booms, having finished his discussion with Bruce on what powers the eye of Mordor (Bruce: “Probably some internal nuclear energy generated in the caves by the Orcs.” Thor: “His terrible glowing evil.”). “Time to turn in, I am tired, we will go see if Heimdall is hale and hearty enough for work tomorrow.”
Loki gets up in one fluid motion and goes. Tony pretends he doesn’t see Loki gently displace Moira’s sleeping head onto the floor because it’s much easier when Loki’s a bastard.
“Night, Thor,” Clint says. “Night, asshole.”
Loki gives Clint the two-fingered salute.
There, see. Much better.
x
Thor wakes up at two in the morning because the baby monitor he’d borrowed from Natasha (I need something to keep track of Loki with tonight and she’d silently handed him one without blinking an eye. He’d decided not to question it.) is making noises. Thor can make out voices, one unmistakably female’s; he galvanizes into action, grabs his hammer, booms Loki as he strides along the corridor and bursts in to find Loki on the floor with Moira, who is chatting rapidly to him about squirrels and Steve who doesn’t approve of her hurting them.
“but they are so fast and small and they taunt me LokiLokiLoki with their big tails and squeaky voices- ThorThorThor!” and she bounds across to Thor, slobbering over him.
“Oh,” Thor says.
“Yes, you’ve caught me,” Loki says, sounding bored. “Do I get put into the dungeons for this, does Stark have any dungeons in this place, how kinky.”
“I’m sorry, brother,” Thor says. He lets his hammer droop to his side, deflated. “I misjudged you.”
“Well.” Loki seems to be considering this. “I can’t say I blame you.”
Thor walks into the room, drops down beside Loki’s side, suddenly tired.
“Come back,” he says, for what feels like the thousandth time.
“Can’t,” Loki answers, short and quiet, for once.
Then Natasha and Clint burst into the room with gun and bow in hand respectively. Steve runs in next, Tony at his heels (Thor wonders, absently, how Tony woke so fast- he’s usually the last one to rise from his much-beloved sleep, when he actually gets some) and Bruce walks in behind them, looking warily around.
“It’s fine, brothers and sister,” Thor says. “It was Moira, on the talking device.”
“Moira knows how to use a phone?” asks Bruce.
“The other talking device,” Natasha says. “Baby monitor. For Loki.”
“No, really,” Loki says. “Really.”
Tony slumps onto the floor. “In that case,” he yawns.
“Tony,” Steve says, affectionate. He sinks down beside Tony and outs an arm around him. Then he looks up at everybody else, almost a challenge, but no-one’s really paying attention.
“Well, I can’t sleep now,” Clint says. Bruce nods his agreement. “Thor, entertain us.”
“A sleepover,” Loki says. “…of course.”
“A sleepover!” Thor says enthusiastically. He remembers Jane telling him what people do at sleepovers when Darcy had had some friends over once. “We should do that thing where we pummel each other with soft objects!” He makes for the lamp, but Natasha snatches it away.
“How about no,” Clint offers.
Thor racks his brains. “In that case,” he says. “That other game where we bare the secrets of our innermost soul and attempt feats of great valour.”
“Truth or Dare?” Bruce asks.” Well. Still better than being hit over the head with a dresser.”
They make a circle and spin the bottle and it lands on Clint and he chooses Dare and Natasha tells him to prank call Fury with the worst pick-up line he can think of. Fury doesn’t pick up and so Clint leaves a message (Did you know that there are over 200 bones in the human body? Want one more?) and Bruce says, “My god, you’re dead,” and they’re all in convulsions and even the slightest corner of Loki’s mouth twitches.
Steve picks Truth and Clint orders him to tell them about his first time and he blushes and pretends he has no idea what they’re talking about and says Um first time I did what and they all groan and Loki says, “Isn’t it obvious?” Thor asks Steve why he told Loki and not them and Natasha says Maybe it was Loki, his first time and Bruce and Steve and Clint get this traumatized expression on their faces and Loki laughs for real this time.
The bottle lands on Loki and Bruce says Most embarrassing moment and Loki thinks and says I’d rather not, how about Thor’s? The rest shrug and Thor orders, “Loki, I command you to stop right-“ but Loki’s already beginning his story with Once upon a time Thor’s hammer was stolen by a powerful giant, Thrym.”
“Loki!” Thor shrieks.
“The giant was in need of a wife,” Loki continues blithely.
By the end of the story Bruce and Steve and Clint have rather fixed staring expressions on their faces. Natasha is laughing away to herself and Loki is grinning, pleased. Thor has stuffed his fingers into his ears and is singing a Midgardian song he heard on the radio the other day (He thinks it goes something like Infant, oh, repeated several times).
“I think I’m going to brush my teeth and bleach my brain and go to sleep,” Clint informs them. “Goodnight, all.”
“Goodnight,” Bruce says, leaving, and Natasha nods, still looking terribly amused, as she exits the door. Steve lifts a still-sleeping Tony in his arms and says “Night, Thor. Night, Loki,” as he carries Tony gently out.
“If you won’t come back,” Thor says to Loki, quiet, “at least come and visit- Moira once in a while.”
“Come and visit,” Loki scoffs. But he strokes Moira, who’s sleeping beside him.
“Well,” Thor says. “Come and be captured once in a while.”
“What kind of supervillain do you take me for?” Loki asks, offended. But he doesn’t say no.
“Goodnight, brother,” Thor says. He leaves the room and goes back to bed. He turns the baby monitor off.