Chapter Text
Stiles is sitting in the drive way of the old Hale house and he can't seem to leave the comfort of his jeep. There a storm of emotions boiling up within him and he's afraid that if he continues to let it stew, that it's going to overflow--It's a scary thought.
Stiles doesn't want to loose control, he needs to ground himself, he wants to be a grown up about his approach and not act like a little child that's being deprived of what they want. That annoying kid in the store that kicks, screams and throws the worst tantrum until they get what they want. He doesn't want to be that, he wants to go in cool, calm and collected. The three C's. He wants to act like the last month hasn't taken a toll on him. Stiles wants to act like it didn't affect him at all.
But he also knows that Derek could probably smell it on him a mile away that he's faking it. Stiles feels his skin prickle and he knows he isn't alone. The scent hits his nose and all he wants to do is curl up around it. Stiles just wants to lay in the scent all day and bury his nose within it's source.
It's Derek and he's approaching the jeep slowly. Stiles gets a reign on his feelings and his jaw is clenched to keep them all in. This must be how Derek feels when he's trying to keep control. Stiles hates it, hates trying to tramp down his feelings and not just express himself and say the things he wants to.
"That's close enough." His voice is so cold, it shocks him, but he doesn't let it show on his face. Stiles gets out of his jeep and acts like he hadn't been contemplating going inside the house to confront the man that is standing in front of him now. Stiles isn't wearing flannel, if anything, it looks like he's joined the dark side. Lydia's shopping trips have his closet filled with stuff he didn't think he'd ever wear.
The young teen still has his old flannel from another life but now he has an attire to rival Jackson. He's wearing a leather jacket of his own but it isn't styled like he's going into a biker's bar. It's stylized like a letterman's jacket that's a burgundy and tan color, as if he's on a sports team and the star player. Underneath the jacket is a simple red button down that fits him like a glove and then jeans that are tighter than he'd normally wear but nothing at all like the trendy skinny jeans.
Derek's face is void of any emotion too and apparently he's been fine with the past moon. Stiles feels hurt and tries to not let it show.
"I just have one question." Derek nods like it's permission to speak and maybe it is because Stiles has to let it set in that the man before him isn't the same as the one he knew a month and a half ago. Derek isn't a beta anymore, he's the Alpha and if he wanted to, he could kill Stiles just for looking at him wrong. It's enough to make the nervousness come back and his cool attitude leave him like a balloon was popped. He fizzles out and slumps his shoulders.
"Maybe this was a bad idea, you know what, I know it was, I'm just going to go and leave you alone to do whatever it is you do best, brood, read, go for a run or work. You still work at the mechanic's place, right? You know what it doesn't matter if you don't, it's none of my business."
Stiles turns to go and he's at his jeep when he's spun around and slammed against it. If he were still human, he'd definitely be sore the next couple of days. He's ready to wolf out until he realizes that it isn't a threat and that wouldn't be the best. Somehow he thinks going against an Alpha isn't going to end well for him. He bares his neck with a soft whine in the back of his throat. His wolf is sorry and he's sorry for thinking he had any right to march over to the house and assume anything.
Stiles doesn't catch the look at Derek's face, the guilt he has and the softening of his hardened mask he's worked so hard to keep in place. The older male doesn't let the opportunity pass though, he steps in close and gives a soft bite on Stile's neck. It's enough to get him aroused and half hard, he can't give in and take what he wants. His wolf wants it so bad, it's begging him. It doesn't help smelling Stiles own need for him, the way that Stiles clutches to his jacket in want.
Derek exhales shaken by what he's feeling.
It's making him dizzy and it's overwhelming but he can't help with how good he feels.
"Ask what you wanted to." His voice rouses Stiles back to reality and what Stiles says next breaks the mood like a window shattering.
"Am I still pack or do you not want me anymore? I mean, I understand and totally get it if you don't. You made it pretty clear on the night of the full moon. You said that the bond with Peter would end one of two ways, with Peter dead, there was no reason to complete our bonding. I get it, you want someone else further on down the line and don't want to be chained to me all of your l-" Before Stiles can continue to ramble on the side of the jeep near his head is hit with Derek's hand.
"Don't you get it Stiles!? There IS no one else! You're it for me! You're my mate no matter what happens!"
Stiles looks like a deer caught in headlights. "Then why didn't-"
"I couldn't do that to you, you're just a kid! You don't know what you want, you're sixteen for god's sake. I don't want you making the same mistakes I did. I don't want you to regret it and hate me in a couple of years. I won't make you stay in this crappy little town. You're met for so much more than what I can give you! You just.. you don't see it. You're so blind to just how good of a person you are. You're so smart, you deserve to be in one of the best colleges and be a lawyer or something." It's the most Derek's ever said to him and it just makes it so much clearer to him. He clutches at Derek's jacket and he can't fight the smile that's on his face.
"So you do want me?"
Derek makes a noise of exasperation and states, "After all of that, that's the only thing you catch?"
"Teenager, remember? We're all raging hormones and sex all the time. On a serious note though, I've been crazy about you and a little on the obsessed side since I met you." Stiles says with a smile that hasn't graced his lips in what seems like forever.
"You've been obsessed since you were eleven?" The look on Derek's face is incredulous. Stiles frowns and then speaks, "No.. we met that day when Scott was looking for his inhaler...remember?"
"No, Stiles.. you don't remember? We met..when I was sixteen and you were eleven.. at my families funeral."
Stiles' face is scrunched up but then his eyes lighten up with understanding and he knows that he has remembered. "Okay so maybe not right then and there but I thought you were really cool and interesting."
Derek laughs the first time in what feels like it's been too long, and it feels good. He knows that he wants to keep doing it now that Stiles and him have reached an understanding of sorts. Derek knows that it doesn't mean anything truly substantial because he still wants to give Stiles time. But one thing he does know, he's going to hope for the best and really try to not fall in love with Stiles even more than he has until he knows that Stiles is there to stay.
Derek doesn't know if he can hold out though, he might have already fallen too much to recover from the rejection.
So all he can do is hope and wait for Stiles.