Work Text:
The record spins on into infinity. The music has played; there is no new side to discover, just the record playing in silence with cracks in between.
She can’t get off the floor to take it off the table. Stuck there like an immovable object. There’s grief stuck so deep inside, a cut that’s too deep to even cry about.
It was inevitable, mutual even to some extent but she still loved her. She would always love her. She was always going to carry this love inside of her that has turned to sorrow. Love used to be this warm feeling that would rise in her chest, it was a comfort.
Over time that feeling became heavy. She couldn’t stop making mistakes, the last thing in life she had ever wanted to do was hurt her but mistakes were made and it was too painful to keep going. When sitting next to someone you love feels more like a job interview than a comfort it’s time to leave.
It’s easy to break up when one has done something irredeemable, if she had cheated, or lied about something but there wasn’t any of that. There was so much love in between the two of them, so many moments that brought joy and comfort.
The phone next to her feels like a lifeline, she could press a few buttons and hear her voice again. She told her to call anytime, that they were still friends and still had a history and she would always be there for her. But calling feels like it would only make it worse for her, and the last thing she wanted to do is cause anymore pain. She wanted the best for her, even if she had to yell at her, or never speak to her again.
Deep down calling feels like admitting defeat. Proving to the both of them that Faith needed Buffy more than Buffy needed Faith. And she did, Buffy was strong and she could make friends so easily, she would be okay, she could move on. But Faith wasn’t like that. She had put her whole life into Buffy's hands and now that it didn't work out she was left alone, and it wasn’t anyone's fault but her own.
Faith is staring at her phone now. No calls, no texts, no notifications of any kind. There's nothing keeping her here anymore. She can go anywhere she wants free of strings.
Of course with her keys in hand the first place she thinks of is Graceland. Through all the records she would hear a kid, his were the ones her mom would play the most. It wasn’t like she had a particular liking for him or his music but she could remember her mom talking about taking her there for her whole childhood but they never went.
It’s a long drive from California to Memphis but it felt important. It felt like something she could do for herself.
And just like that she’ll go.
She will spread her grief around everywhere she goes, and eventually she will see the brighter side. There will be love again, and it will never be the same kind of love but it will exist. In some way or another.