Chapter Text
Bro what the fuck why is this old woman yelling at me? It’s not even her order. “I DON’T WANT WHIPPED CREAM”. Ok, I heard you, this is SOMEONE ELSE’S. Dumb bitch.
My coworker, Liam, walks over to make this woman's order, and I can see her face go white. Hahah. I called to whoever was next in line, it appeared to be a mother and her two kids. “What can I get you today Ma’am?”. One of her kids started fucking hollering at his mother. “CAN I GET A COOKIE MOMMAA??”, she turned and smacked him in the back of his head, the kid turning to run behind her. “I’m so sorry for him. Can I please get a Cold Brew and an Americano for my friend? The order name is Smith.”
“Nothin’ for the kids?” I asked, with a stupid smile.
“Nope, I’m making them meet their new babysitter and getting lunch afterward.” She commented. “I’ll get your order right away ma’am, hope the meeting goes well!” The lady and her two kids quickly walked away to a table near the entrance.
“Yo, Liam! Got another order... bro what happened to you?”
“That crazy fucking lady.” He had coffee. ALL OVER his uniform. Poor guy. “But yeah, I’ll get to makin’ it, what’s the order and who’s it for?”
I muttered, “Uhh.. Cold Brew and Americano for Smith.” He grunted in acknowledgment.
Turning back to the line, I see no one, until the door opens.
It’s an android.
And AWOOGGAA!!!! HE’S FINE AS HELLL!!! GAAWWWDD DAYUUMM!!!! “Hello, sir what can I get you today?”. “Can I get two black coffees, two caramel macchiatos, and an iced latte?”
“Yup! LIAM GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE WE GOT A BIG ONE” “Does he have a fatty too?” ”A BIG ORDER .” “Oh.. OH OH OH SHIT”
Liam ran around the kitchen as if his life depended on it, it was funny to see and I tried not to laugh but I eventually cracked a smile. The android seemed puzzled and perplexed. I took my eyes off him and tried to strike up a conversation with him.
“Oh sorry, sir what’s the name for the order?’ “Connor.” Hot damn that name fits him holy fuck he’s so finneee help oh my god he’s so handsome and cute and and andsbk,asdjer “Are you okay there?” oh shit must’ve spaced out “Oh yeah sorry about that I’m fine” I smiled at him, hearing a crash in the background, I turned, “LIAM, LIAM??? ARE YOU GOOD” I yelled to him. He walked out head hung low in shame he was DRENCHED in coffee it was even in his hair. “Dude what happened are you okay??” “I fell..” “HOLY SHIT DUDE ARE YOU OKAY” I began in a sad attempt of drying him off with paper towels. He began laughing and asked, “Could you make them please?” “Yeaah sure man!” I then turned to Connor, sighing, “So sorry about that I really hope it’s not an inconvenience to you, I totally understand if it is”, he piped up “No! It’s okay take as much time as you need” Oh wow he’s so sweet. “Um Okay,” you cringed at how you said that. '
He then looked at you’re shirt. Oh god oh god oh fuck you thought he must think you’re a fucking NERD I mean come on you were wearing a My Bloody Valentine movie shirt and had fucking Homestuck and Weird Al pins on your apron you started to sweat.
“My Bloody Valentine? Didn’t it come out February 13, 1981 a day before Valentine's Day? It also stars “Peter Cowper” as Harry Warden aka the Miner and “Neil Affleck” as Axel Palmer, right?.” your jaw just fucking DROPPED like Brian from Family Guy, don't get so excited he's an android he probably looked it up you thought. “Oh..Oh yeah! It’s one of my favorite movies haha!”
Liam glared at you two like he was going to pop a blood vessel “Can you stop NERDING out and take the poor man’s order??” “Two black coffees, two caramel macchiatos, and a latte. Thank you! You fucking geek.” you uttered. Liam giggled in response, about 5 minutes later you had his order done. “Again I’m so so sorry man here you go”. As you gave him his drink your hand brushed against his you felt your cheeks grow hot “Have a nice day!” “You too!!”.
Liam took notice of your face and began teasing you “Oh..OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE YOU BARLEY MET CUZ HE NERDED OUT WITH YOU HAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS” You choose to ignore him. After taking what seemed to be a million more hours it was finally time to close up and go home. Finally, you thought, you drove home and changed into something more comfortable you scooped a big bowl of ice cream and turned on “Jackass Forever” something to help ya chill before you slept. You couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him, his eyes, his voice, how he took note of your shirt.
Ohhh NNNOOOO HE’S HOOOTTTT!!!! You began to think about him, hoping you would bump into him again, praying he would walk into that coffee shop, you shifted over and tried to sleep keyword TRIED you couldn’t stop thinking about him, you tossed and turned, eventually falling asleep.
“Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!”