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This evening you weren't really feeling all too well, but you still went to see the Master for your telepathy lessons. That he wanted to resume them, despite your fight during the last adventure, was encouraging and you didn't want to ruin it, just because you weren't at your best.
He was in his room, gadgets and blueprints and spare parts lying around on his tables, on shelves, on tops of books. Pretty much everywhere. It seemed he had been tinkering with something important.
When you entered he was on his sofa, for once in comfy sweatpants, hoodies and socks; all of those were black of course, except for the socks, those were red. Usually this mismatch would have made you smile, but today just wasn't working for you. His hands held a book, but his eyes didn't move and quickly snapped up to meet yours. He seemed… not quite there, barely seeing you. One finger tapped a steady beat of four against the side of the book.
"Loud again?" you asked, trying to sound casual.
The Master blinked, rubbed two fingers over his eyelids and nodded, laying the book aside. You walked over and slumped down on the sofa, peeking at him, waiting for a snarky remark or some mean comment about yesterday, but he only shifted his position to sit cross legged in front of you, holding his hands out. You blinked, a little surprised. Somehow you had almost expected him to skip this part and get to the quick way directly, which would require a little… well, a lot more skin contact. But maybe you had read the situation wrong. Again. So you slipped out of your shoes and mirrored his position, laying your hands in his and closing your eyes.
Immediately his mind slipped inside your own, not strong, but present and he let out a sigh that sounded like relief. From the drums probably. He had only agreed to those lessons because sharing your minds miraculously eased their presence enough for him to get some temporary relief.
Nothing much happened for some minutes, you only stayed like this, hovering. Eventually you tried to navigate deeper or just somewhere else, but you were barely able to focus much. And then the Master suddenly jerked his head up, let go of one hand and grabbed your other to shove your sleeve up. He quickly proceeded to repeat the process with the other arm, his thumb tenderly gliding over the scars on your wrists. It had been him who had healed those wounds, but he had never told you why.
"Wh…what's wrong?" you asked, puzzled.
"You're really asking!" came the angry answer. You hadn't noticed that he was practically fuming. His eyes were glued to your bare wrists, then they shot up to meet yours, shining with danger. "I just felt that you're in pain and you clearly smell of blood. So don't even try to hide anything," he growled.
For a moment you could only blink stupidly at him, but then you simply burst out laughing, much to his rising anger.
"'m sorry for laughing," you mumbled. "I wasn't expecting you to get aware of it. And no, I'm not hurt. It's just…"
"Just what?"
"A… human thing. Happens. Once a month, usually."
The anger in his gaze slowly faded and got replaced with confusion, then realisation. His grip on your wrists lessened and his hands slipped back into yours, his mind searching within you for the truth. And when he found it, there was only a defeated "Oh."
You chuckled at his reaction, but at the same time had to slow your breath as another cramp made its way through your lower parts. The Master winced. When you were connected like this, each of you could feel everything the other did.
"Didn't know it's painful for humans," he admitted. "Time Lords only have it until puberty. And it doesn't hurt."
"Did biology classes tell you that?" you teased.
The Master huffed. "We had more than enough girls in the academy. And young Time Lords are curious." He chuckled and winked at you.
"Yeah, I can imagine." The thought of him and the Doctor running around as children and spying on girls made you smile. "That's an awfully short window for being fertile, though," you pondered. "That why you make kids artificially?"
A bitter smile whizzed over his face. "No. Most Time Lords were sterile from the get go. Long story. It's just the way it is. Like that the council could keep the population steady." His words sounded weirdly disgusted when he spoke and you could feel the distaste through your connection.
His mind idly wandered along the borders of yours, not quite intertwined and yet seeping through. Your eyes closed and you focused on the sensation, almost slipping deeper when another burst of searing pain forcefully dragged you back to the surface. You let out a shaky breath and bent over slightly.
"This won't do," the Master growled. His look was grim.
You swallowed and glanced away. "Sorry. Can't control it."
He let go of your hands and glared at you, making you anxious that he would throw you out again and call you useless. And there it had started so well.
The Master got up from the sofa. "Come. Sit down." He nodded to the bed.
Confused, you blinked at him, totally having expected to be shooed away. Why did he want you to sit there, instead?
"I… I'm not sick," you objected.
The Master rolled his eyes. "Don't be annoying. Just do what you're told."
And so you did, hesitantly, but you walked over to the bed and sat on top of the soft black sheets. The Master made a scene of just stepping on the mattress and walking behind you, where he slumped down and grabbed you around the waist to draw you backwards until you sat between his legs, your back firmly seated against his chest. His hands slid into yours again, resting them in front of you.
The whole pose was so comforting, it almost hurt, made you feel so safe that it confused you for some seconds. Then you felt the Master's essence seep into your own again and he used your intertwined hands to initiate a connection.
Not quite. This time it was you who did it, little one.
You glared down at your fingers and watched as his thumb idly stroked over the back of your hand. You hadn't been aware of doing this, but since he seemed to have no objections it probably was alright.
He hummed, confirming and then chuckled when you winced.
You slipped deep enough so you can hear most of my prominent thoughts. Bravo.
Don't mock me. I can't control it. You pursed your lips.
I'm not mocking you. It's still fascinating to me that you can initiate this. And look. You already went beyond what you normally allow.
You blinked in surprise and smiled. He was right. This wasn't the shallow surface you usually moved around in. When you focused you could clearly make out his essence and followed him along the path he took, observing how he searched for something specific. You didn't know what it was, but you let him roam and eventually felt how the pain in your abdomen first lessened and then vanished completely.
Was that you? you wondered, although you knew it already.
It's not gone. You just don't feel it anymore.
A memory floated into your consciousness. He had said those words to you already. On a different day, a different situation. And suddenly you knew why this position felt so achingly warm and safe. Because he had held you like that when you had drifted into the darkness, with nothing but the sound of waves and the soothing crackling of a fire that was dying along with you. The Master grabbed you tighter and his forehead dropped against your shoulder from behind, staying there.
You alright? you thought. There was something incredibly tense about him in that very moment, feeling as if he barely managed not to shatter into a million embers. Even the energy of his mind was slightly trembling.
You're not running.
The thought seeped into your awareness like syrup, strained, uncertain. A question and a fact, confusing, delighting, maddeningly tearing at the fabric of all logic. You winced, getting aware that all of this came from the Master, involuntary shared through your connection. You didn't know what to make of it. Did he want you to run? Was he hoping you wouldn't?
Do you remember what you said when you were dying? came another thought.
When there was nothing but waves and fire and stars and the warmth in your back, the cold in your struggling body. Yes, you remembered the words that had slipped out of you.
You have a warm heart.
He scoffed against your shoulder, somehow managing to hold you even closer. Why would you ever think that?
Now it was your time to giggle and you dropped your head backwards to peek at him, or at least the part of him that was visible.
"Why wouldn't I?" you asked, teasingly, using your voice again. "Because you caused so many people to die? Because you're oh so evil?"
The Master lifted his head slightly and glowered at you. His hatred was radiating through the connection, but it wasn't scary. Certainly not when he held you like this.
"Because it's not true."
"It was at that moment," you didn't hesitate to answer, summoning what you could remember of that moment. How it had felt, how you had been as content as never before in your time existing. How he had been the first person to care and even grant you some comfort, how you had sensed something from him. A warmth that you hadn't experienced from anyone ever, before. All of this and everything you had no names for, you let swim through your minds.
"Your memory must be skewed," muttered the Master eventually. His tone was even, trying to banish every emotion. But he couldn't completely hide the pang of pain he felt. There was no hiding in a mental space.
And suddenly you had to laugh, bumping your head against his next to yours. "Oh come on. That doesn't make you less of a jerk. And certainly nothing even close to a good person."
He only growled in response. "Don't try to flatter me."
"Would never," you teased. You felt a smile tug at him that he never allowed to reach his face. It couldn't hide whatever else was brooding inside of him, however. The dark lump that gnawed on his sanity and drove him. Drove him, drove him, drove… to just stumble forward and forward, to the edge of what is possible and one step further even. He buried his face on your shoulder again, his grip never loosening.
"Say my name," he darkly muttered against you, demanded it with a caress of his mind.
You took a breath, uncertain what it was you felt through your connection, unable to discern what was yours and what his. It had happened almost on its own, you slipping so far, intertwining so firm.
Master, you thought and felt him shiver. Not from pleasure, but from… fear. Almost terror.
And then he shut himself off completely and sealed everything inside an impenetrable cage, so fast that you were certain it wasn't the first time he did this. But you didn't say anything. Maybe he had heard your thoughts anyway, maybe not. You weren't going to probe. The only thing that mattered, right now, was the warmth and comfort you felt and the certainty that he wanted you to stay.
With him.
There was nothing you would rather do.