Work Text:
Wu Xie didn’t generally tend towards “fuck my life” kind of thoughts, but right now they were drifting in that direction.
He was in a hotel, at a lovely island resort. It was late at night, and almost everyone in the hotel had gone to bed. Including the person staying in the room next to his, who seemed to have their bed up against the same wall Wu Xie’s and Pangzi’s were up against. Problem was, they weren’t asleep, or apparently planning to anytime soon.
Xiao Ge was lucky, in that his bed, that had been added extra, because the Iron Triangle did not sleep separately when working, thank you, was against the other wall.
Xiao Hua had paid for this trip. Not altruistically. Wu Xie and Pangzi were to pose as his employees, which technically they were at the moment, so they could all investigate some rumors about things hidden under the resort. Xiao Ge was there because he was Xiao Ge, and he got to do whatever he wanted while they played servants to the rich kid.
That was all well and good, and Xiao Hua hadn’t treated them poorly, even though it galled Wu Xie just a little bit to fetch the man drinks whenever he waved a hand for them.
The problem was that Hei Xiazi had suddenly shown up tonight. Unexpectedly, judging by Xiao Hua’s reaction. There had been a second of open mouthed surprise, but Xiao Hua, being himself, had quickly hidden it and verbally gone for the jugular. Hei Xiazi seemed delighted, under a mask of sad disappointment at being treated in this manner.
They’d all had some drinks together, and Wu Xie had started suspecting something was up relatively quickly. Pangzi had suspected the same. Xiao Ge had said nothing, as was his way, but Wu Xie could tell he agreed.
Xiao Hua and Hei Xiazi had been flat out flirting all evening. There was no other word that fit their behavior. Suggestive comments, little smiles they both tried to hide, and a lot of touching. Touching that might have been innocent, had he not seen the way they looked at each other when they did it. The way they looked at each other when they thought the others were distracted could have melted glass.
His suspicions had very quickly been confirmed when they all finally went to their rooms. They had innocently started getting ready for bed, when there was a thump against the wall, followed by muffled cursing. Some quick mental calculations had told him that was Xiao Hua’s room.
Which brought them to their current predicament. Halfway into pajamas, and learning the fancy resort island hotel had no thicker walls than a cheap roadside hut with holes in it.
Something fell over in there, followed by more cursing, and then “on the bed, you asshole!”
There was another thump, that sounded like the headboard of the bed hitting the wall. It was troubling, to say the least. Headboards were not supposed to move like that. It was followed by sounds that were definitely from someone moving around on the bed in there. Creaking and the headboard lightly grinding against the wall. That was going to leave a mark on the wallpaper.
A groan was heard, followed by “don’t bite” from one and “ow, don’t hit me” from the other.
“Wu Xie,” Pangzi said, wild eyed, “is that Xiao Hua and Hei Xiazi?”
“I think so.”
“When did they-”
“I don’t know, but it doesn't sound like it’s their first time.”
“I did not know the walls in this hotel were this thin. Has he been hearing me sing in the shower?”
“Everyone’s been hearing you sing in the shower,” Wu Xie said with a smile. Pangzi did not look embarrassed.
More sounds came through the wall. More moving around on the bed. Out of the corner of his eye, because somehow the wall was an interesting thing to look at now, he saw Xiao Ge drag a blanket and pillow into the bathroom. There was a bathtub in there. He might have the right idea.
“If you think for one moment-” Xiao Hua said. Shouted? How well did sound carry? He was the only one of the two capable of that amount of command in his tone. Was he not aware of how loud he was?
“I don’t. I don’t. I was looking for the lube.”
“Are you saying you came here without? With this planned?”
They were so loud it didn’t sound muffled at all anymore. Were the walls made of actual paper? Painted cling film? Maybe someone had set up microphones and speakers.
“It’s in my room. You’re the one who dragged me in here. Come on, Xiao Hua, I know you use toys. Where’s your lube?”
Wait. Toys? Xiao Hua used… what kind? Lube? It was too much to process, so Wu Xie put it out of his mind. He didn’t want those mental images. He’d be left with plenty from looking at this wall.
“Don’t even try it. There’s no way you didn’t plan to have sex tonight. When was the last time we met without doing this? I bet it’s half the reason you even came to the hotel.”
Was Xiao Hua aware of how well his voice carried? He did speak like someone who expected to be paid attention to and obeyed, and he enunciated well. It was really quite impressive. They could hear every single word so easily.
“I was going to drag you to my room,” Hei Xiazi said, and Wu Xie found himself putting his ear against the wall to catch everything, because his voice carried less, “but you know I can’t resist when you tell me what to do.”
“Stay there.”
There was shuffling, with the headboard grinding against the wall again, then “hey, don’t throw it at me!”
“I told you to stay.”
“All I did was touch your ass. I wasn’t going anywhere.”
“Shut up.”
The talking stopped, and the moving around quieted for a while, but Wu Xie knew it wasn’t going to last. Once in a while there was some muffled talking he couldn’t make out, and one time he was almost sure he heard giggling from Xiao Hua, but that couldn’t be right. He must have heard it wrong.
As expected, not long after, there was a groan, some more sounds he couldn’t make out, and then rhythmic thumping of the headboard against the wall started.
Pangzi lifted his hand to bang on the wall, but Wu Xie stopped him.
“Why?” Pangzi said, quiet enough that they were unlikely to be heard through the wall. Not that the two people on the other side were paying attention to anything except each other right now.
“Do you want to draw Xiao Hua’s anger? He’s not going to be embarrassed. He’s going to be pissed off.”
“I’m getting pissed off.”
“It’s not going to be that long. We can go for a walk or something.”
“We can hear everything you’re doing!” Pangzi shouted, then grinned at Wu Xie.
There was what was essentially a shouted moan, punctuated by a hard slam of the bed against the wall. That must have been some thrust.
“Are you trying to hit my lungs from the inside!?” Xiao Hua shouted. “And you shut up!”
The last part was obviously aimed at Pangzi. Wu Xie looked at Pangzi and mouthed “Xiao Hua bottoms?” Pangzi shrugged.
“Hei Ye, pull his hair!” Pangzi shouted.
“I. Am not. Suicidal.” Hei Xiazi said, punctuating each with obviously hard thrusts.
They heard Xiao Hua moan in response to each one, before he yelled again. “Stop talking!”
The banging of the headboard sped up, and Xiao Hua’s moaning got louder. It was soon joined by Hei Xiazi moaning too. The banging and moaning were all in time. It was like the world’s most perverted beat box.
“Faster!” Pangzi shouted. “Put your back into it.”
Wu Xie hid his face in his hands, and dreaded the morning. Xiao Hua was going to kill them, or force them to pay for their own hotel rooms. He didn’t have that kind of money.
The sounds became erratic, signaling that an end to the proceedings was imminent.
“Don’t you dare come ins-”
Hei Xiazi groaned loud and long and the banging stopped. The grinding of the headboard sounded like it would leave marks on both sides of the wall. A moment later there was a sound Wu Xie couldn’t make out, until Hei Xiazi’s response gave a hint to what it was.
“Ow, ow. Stop hitting me.”
“I told you to not come inside, you idiot! And you didn’t even wait for me to-”
“I’m sorry, I got carried away. I’ll make it up to-ow.”
“Get on your hands and knees. Now!”
“Okay, okay. Don’t forget the lube.”
“Shut up! You don’t get to make requests.”
Wu Xie and Pangzi just looked at each other. Even Pangzi knew better than to try to shout encouragement at Xiao Hua. It was a bad idea at the best of times, and the tone of Xiao Hua’s voice said this was not a best time. When he was done, he might murder someone. Like the idiot yelling from the next room.
The bed started banging again. Different rhythm this time. Wu Xie quietly, and carefully, left the room. Maybe Xiao Ge had room in his bathtub.