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The Summer Night, Our Impatience
(This art inspired me to write this fanfic,
credits go fully to the original artist!)
edit: I just realized it doesn't show, or only shows occasionally, I'll post the link when I find the original art :D
"Goodbye."
That one simple word sent from his LINE account was enough for me to run up to the school rooftop, panting as I went. I knew right away what it meant.
Swinging open the door, I found the same boy with vacant eyes, standing outside the railing. He was staring at the streets below, his expression apathetic towards the charm of the landscape which spread out below him. It was as if there was nothing running through his head, almost as if it had been hollowed out.
August 15th, it's summer. It's quiet for a day after school.
Nevertheless, this is the fourth time I've seen him try and do it.
"This world is split into two kinds of people", he said.
"Those who have a strong desire to live are ruled by Eros. The ones who are ruled by the desire of death --- Thanatos."
He was undeniably the latter.
When we reunited again, I was stopping him from a similar suicide attempt, after all.
A brilliant inventor who was drowned in misery. My childhood friend, Kamishiro Rui. I see his mind like a chaotic and cluttered space, with tools, spare parts, and half-finished inventions strewn haphazardly across every surface. Piles of papers and schematics stacked precariously on top of each other, and the floor, littered with scraps of metal and wires. The air thick with the smell of oil and the sound of buzzing machinery, and it was clear that this was a space where creativity and innovation reigned supreme.
When we were young, I had found my passion in performing atop the rooftop of my apartment. When I sing, I feel alive, and my heart soars with every note, filling the air with strings of melodies. I remember the boy who was most captivated by my voice. The same boy now standing in front of me, trying to take his own life.
"Hey Nene! I made this robot especially for you!"
The cheerful boy I once knew was gone. The boy who once made robots and created shows just to make me happy, was gone.
Though he never tried to burden me with his own troubles.
I did have my suspicions. Whenever he was attempting suicide, he contacted me.
Wouldn't it be more of a sure thing to die alone? Somewhere in his heart, I guessed, was the desire to be saved by someone.
And yet here I am again, making it up to the roof.
"Hahh... hahh..." I was out of breath.
He was facing away from me. I was scared those hands of his would suddenly let go, making him plummet below.
"W-wait!"
I jump over the rails and take his hand.
"Let go of me." His voice was low and resonant, with a slight rasp. It was one that demanded attention, even though it still had a tint of youthfulness to it.
As I stand next to him and look down at the street below on this chilly night, the city comes alive in front of me.
The streetlights illuminate the pavement in a warm orange glow, casting long shadows from the trees that line the sidewalk. Cars zoom by, with their headlights creating a blur of light streaks that dance across the road. The buildings loom tall, their windows lit up like stars in the sky, each one telling a different story of the people and lives within. The faint sound of music and laughter drifts up from the bars and restaurants that line the street, adding to the lively atmosphere. Despite the hustle and bustle of the city, there is an eerie calmness in the air, as if the city has taken a deep breath and settled down for the night. The view is both mesmerizing and calming, making me feel like I am a part of something much bigger than myself.
Rui remains emotionless.
"Why don't you listen-!"
His expression was solemn.
"Because I want to get over this and die quicky."
"Rui but why...?"
"The God of Death is calling me."
It was a rare symptom, that those ruled by death could see Thanatos. The God of Death always appears in the form most tempting to the one seeing it. That is, it takes the form of their ideal companion.
"You should leave, Nene..." The pain and suffering in his eyes were always visible. "You work so hard to pursue your dream, everyday, but still try to accompany me."
I'll do anything to help you.
"I-I don't want you to die! Please, stay with me..."
When he was looking at Thanatos, he looked like someone in love. When he looked my way, it seemed as if he was staring into an empty void.
I hate seeing him like that.
"Don't look at the God of Death, look at me!"
A dark and ugly feeling swept over my heart.
"N-nene, you-!"
I squeezed his hand harder than I meant to.
"Ow...!"
"Ah! Sorry..."
But it's your fault. You're the one who won't look at me.
Somewhere in my mind knew that it was ridiculous to be jealous of the God of Death.
"I'm sick of this..."
I'm sick of it too...
"I'm tired."
I'm tired of it too!
"I just want to die."
"I wanna die too!"
He looked up. The ugliness in my heart disappeared immediately.
He was smiling.
Smiling with a cat-like grin.
Wait... You mean-!
"You understand me. You're the only one who understands me, Nene." He buries me into his chest.
It's warm, yet I can't feel the muggy heat of summer anymore.
I get it now. You didn’t call me during your suicide attempts because you wanted me to save you. You wanted to take me with you.
Yet this is what makes you happy.
"Ready...?"
"...Yeah."
You were my God of Death.
You and I, holding hands.
In order to escape the frustration this world causes us,
we set off racing into the night.