Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2023-04-02
Words:
1,740
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
56
Bookmarks:
5
Hits:
1,142

Someone to force you to care

Summary:

Yes, it is a lyric from Being Alive!

Kurt is spiralling falling into deep hole of numbness. Nobody realises, everyone cares with their own problems, except Puck.

Work Text:

Someone to hold you too close

"Hey Kurt, me and the boys are going to be in the games room so don't come up" shouts Finn down the stairs to Kurt's basement. He didn't care about Kurt as he lay on his bed hugging a pillow, needing comfort nobody had to give. He was to feminine for the boys so they just pretended he wasn't one, never invited to the games night held in his own house, never asked opinions in boys v girls week, never wanted.

Someone to hurt you too deep

Kurt doesn't listen, instead he wills himself to get out of bed, the one he has been lying in since he got home from school, 4 hours ago. He walks up the stairs and heads to the kitchen for a glass of water. "Hey Hummel, wanna join us?" asks Puck who was also getting something to drink. Kurt looks up, what- invited to a boys night? "Ok then, let me turn the light off in my room" he says as he walks back downstairs.

As he was coming back up he heard "Why did you invite him? Its not like he wants to play games and talk about guy stuff" snaps an irritated Finn at Puck. 

"Yeah come on dude" supports Mike. Kurt turns around and heads back down to the basement. Its not like they wanted him there anyway, Puck probably just wanted to humiliate him. He decided to go back to sleep, his parents were in Washington so they wouldn't bother him.

Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep

"Hummel...ummm Kurt, I am sorry, I did actually want you there. You are quite funny in glee club, and being gay doesn't affect your personality" apologises Puck, who had obviously given up on the argument upstairs to talk to Kurt. "What does being gay affect then?" snarks Kurt.

Someone to need you too much
Someone to know you too well

"The gender you like, who you will end up dating, the love of your life" replies Puck, sitting down on Kurt's vanity chair giving him a small smile. 

Kurt looks up, surprised he says "Since when did you know about the life of gays?". What shocked Kurt even more though was when Puck replied "When i realised i have a huge crush on this boy" 

Someone to pull you up short
To put you through hell

"So you have realised it doesn't make you different, you aren't weak and a freak. You put me through hell Puck, sometimes i was too scared to walk down corridors in fright that one of the jocks was around the corner" says Kurt.

"I know, and i am so sorry, but please Kurt tell me you are ok. I have watched you in glee and class and you barley participate anymore, you aren't even fighting Rachel for solos" pleads Puck moving to the bed next to Kurt, hoping the boy he liked is fine; even when inside he knew he wasn't. He had seen how thin he has gotten, how dead Kurt looked behind the eyes.

Someone you have to let in
Someone whose feelings you spare
Someone who, like it or not
Will want you to share
A little a lot

Kurt bursts into tears and launches himself at Puck throwing both of them down on the bed. Puck just holds him, as Kurt wraps his fists in Pucks t shirt and lets him cry everything out. Slowly, the tears stop falling and tiny gasps for air are being taken. "I am sorry, i just can't take it anymore, the snide looks, the way i am terrified walking through the halls of my own school. I am scared to leave the house alone" hiccups Kurt. "I am sorry, you don't want to know"

Someone to crowd you with love

"I do Kurt, i want to help you because i don't know how i can live the rest of my life knowing the boy i like is slowly dying" smiles Puck, lifting Kurt's chin up to look into his eyes.

"Really?" asks Kurt in a small voice, still terrified of rejection.

Someone to force you to care
Someone to make you come through

"Yes, and i will help you get through this, i want to make sure you are healthy before anything else" says Puck, looking at Kurt wrapped in his arms. Although this action alerts him to something else, something covering Kurt's arms. "Ohh darling, i am so so sorry for everything i have had a part in to make you feel this way" Kurt looks down, following Puck's line of sight - the scars.

Who'll always be there
As frightened as you

Puck just holds Kurt tighter, scared that if he lets go he will never hold him again. "I am scared" a small voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

Of being alive

"I know darling, but i will help you and you are going to survive this"

Being alive

Kurt realised, he did want to hurt, he did want to die, he did want to be forgotten - But then this lovely, so caring boy came into his life and what type of person would he be to give that up.

Being alive

And he realised he did want to be alive.

Being alive

And he wanted to spend it with Noah Puckerman: his ex tormentor, a jock. If you asked him even just last month he would have laughed in your face.

Somebody hold me too close

They spent the next half hour lying in each others arms, until they heard the rest of the glee guys leaving - well Mike and Artie of course. Kurt looked at Puck and nodded and they just went back to holding each other, content with cuddling.

Somebody hurt me too deep

Kurt heard Finn walking around upstairs coming closer and closer to the door to the basement, oh no. He heard the door jiggle - Puck had locked it. Kurt didn't want to see Finn, his own step-brother who didn't care about him.

Somebody sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep

Kurt didn't want to sleep anymore, or at least not in the permanent sort of way. He wants to sleep remembering how this relationship started and wake up crafting the journey.

And make me aware
Of being alive

"Hey Kurt, will you be my boyfriend?" asks Puck, wanting to be with Kurt, publicly, for the whole world to know. Kurt starts crying, tears streaking down his face, however there was a small smile "I would love to be your boyfriend", they were happy tears.

Being alive

Tears of someone who is happy. Not self harming, not unwanted, not having suicidal thoughts.

Somebody need me too much
Somebody know me too well

"I love you" whispers Puck, needing Kurt to know that someone loves him, and someone wants him in this world. Kurt repeats this small simple phrase and then says "Stay with me, take me to school tomorrow"

"Always"

And with that the couple head to sleep, not caring Finn Hudson is upstairs, not caring about the bullies. For once all Kurt is thinking of is happy thoughts.

In the morning, Kurt is startled; he looks around and notices his sleeves rolled up, but no new cuts. He is confused - "Good morning lovely" says Puck sitting on the end of his bed having woken up a while ago. Kurt remembers, he remembers last night and remembers his new boyfriend. "I was waiting for you to wake up so we could face Finn together"

Somebody pull me up short
And put me through hell

They head upstairs, finding Finn already at the breakfast table. "Come on dude, what was that last night, you choosing to hang out with Kurt over us, and spending the night?!" said Finn, raising his voice, reminding Kurt of the bullies at school.

And give me support
For being alive
Make me alive

He starts to shake and starts picking at the skin in his hands, Puck grabs his hand, pulling him away from the harming tendencies.

Make me alive

"Stop it Finn" snaps Kurt surprising the others. "Puck has done a lot more for me last night than you have ever done. When did you notice i wasn't eating properly, to stressed out to care, I wasn't participating i glee, I wasn't acting myself, I wanted to die"

Make me confused
Mock me with praise

"What do you mean Kurt? You are always in your room at home, doing whatever you do? Its just what you are good at, staying out people's way" Kurt froze, Finn didn't care and didn't want to be bothered. Kurt is just in the way, if his brother didn't care why would anyone else?

Let me be used
Vary my days

"You are right, i will just make breakfast then go. Do you want a lift to school?" questions Kurt, slipping back into his old habits, doing what people want of him. "No darling, you are not uncared for. Don't listen to him, he is manipulating you" says Puck.

But alone
Is alone
Not alive

He doesn't understand. He was fine alone in his room so why does that thought feel so horrible now? Why does he want to hold onto Puck and never let go? 

Somebody crowd me with love

"Hold me" Puck doesn't hesitate wrapping his arms around Kurt and leading him into the living room. Kurt looks so lost, so confused. 

Somebody force me to care
Somebody let come through

"I love you so much and don't you ever forget that" confirms Puck, hugging Kurt so tight he will never forget how loved he truly is. Finn follows in and sits on one of the armchairs "You are disgusting". 

I'll always be there
As frightened as you
To help us survive

Kurt starts sobbing violently, burying his head in Pucks chest. "Leave us alone Hudson" shouts Puck, lifting Kurt up effortlessly grabbing Kurt's school bag and shoes and then leaving the house. He carries Kurt all the way to his car and puts him in the passenger seat, he carefully puts his shoes on and heads round for the drivers seat. "I came here straight after football so my stuff is already here, we will be a bit early for school but can sit in the choir room".

Being alive

Being alive

Being alive