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The sounds of rats skittering along the floors was coupled only by the low sounds of agony from the prisoners of Maegor’s Keep.
The black cells, aptly named for their utter darkness, designed to drive its prisoners mad.
Rhaenyra Targaryen had spent twenty years in darkness. She had no sanity left to lose.
The Cursed Queen had finally been captured, locked away by the few remaining Targaryens, sentenced to languish in a cell for the rest of her days by her once-beloved uncle. The silver-haired King had held no love in his eyes when he gave the command, any affection he held for his niece dead with his daughters.
In the three months since she had been captured, she had been the most free in her entire life. And she was more cursed now than she had been that horrible night she came back to life.
Whispers could be heard, coming from the deepest cell, a blend of Westerosi and Valyrian. Anyone listening would only hear half of the conversation, half the spoken words. But no one did, and no one would.
But that did not stop her from praying.
“…the chance, anything, just let me-“
Rhaenyra’s words cut off when a rat ran through the cells. Her body moved without her command, grabbing the skinny rodent with her bare hands, cracking its neck in one swift move. The rat didn’t even have time to squeal.
Trembling hands drew the rodent to her mouth, teeth biting through the skin to get to the flesh underneath.
Blood stained her mouth and hands as she tore through the rat, ravenous after four days of no food. Not that she could blame anyone, no one wanted to look in on the Cursed Queen.
When all that was left was a pile of bones and fur, the whispers started again.
“You took everything from me,” Rhaenyra forced out, fingernails digging into her palms. “You took everything from me, and kept taking, you owe me this much, please.”
Her voice broke on the last plea, tears welling in her eyes once more.
“Please,” she whispered to the darkness, knowing it would never be heard. “Just let me tell her the truth.”
—
The whispered prayers had long since stopped, her voice gone with her thirst. Rhaenyra’s lips cracked as she moved them, forming the shape of the words over and over again. Nothing more than the whisper of a breath came from her, she no longer had the will to speak aloud.
The gods could clearly hear thoughts without them being spoken aloud, so what truly was the point?
Even the rats had stopped coming, no longer an easy meal for her to grab, and the hunger was clawing at her stomach like nothing ever had before.
Rhaenyra squeezed her eyes shut, pressing both her hands to her chest, digging her fingernails into the skin there, biting back the sob that wanted to escape. She didn’t deserve to cry, she didn’t deserve anything anymore.
She deserved to rot in this cell for the rest of her life, she deserved-
The faint sound of footsteps cut her inner spiral off, not the sound of armored boots, that would foretell the guards, nor the too-quiet steps of her jailer.
Her heart stuttered in her chest when she realized who they belonged to, then cracked as she realized it had to be a trick.
She would never come here, not if the world was ending and it was the last safe place in Westeros, she would never even speak Rhaenyra’s name again.
The footsteps drew closer, and with it, a dim light from a torch.
She hunched over her knees, hiding her eyes from the light after months of darkness, waiting for a shout or the scrape of metal on stone, rough arms dragging her up to be executed or-
“Rhaenyra.”
She jerked upright, ignoring the pain from the light, and stared at the last person she had ever thought she would see again.
“Alicent,” she gasped out.
The once-queen’s face was barely visible from behind the light, but it was her. Rhaenyra knew her voice, better than she knew her own, knew it could only be Alicent, her Alicent.
You dont deserve to think of her like that anymore.
“What-why are you, why are you here?” She said, forcing her weakened body to stand, stumbling towards the bars of her cell. “You shouldn’t-“
“I do not believe you are in any place to tell me what I should do.” Alicent cut her off, and set the lantern down. Rhaenyra flinched back at the fury in her golden eyes, fighting to keep from breaking into sobs at the sight of her oldest friend.
Even now, she was still the most beautiful sight Rhaenyra had ever seen, the golden glow of the lantern making her seem like an angel. Rhaenyra didn’t try fighting back the stab of guilt when her eyes traced over the three scars marring Alicent’s neck, ones she knew went further down to her chest. Scars it had made her put there.
Neither woman spoke, one looking into the cell with nothing but rage, the other looking out with nothing but desperation.
“I know, I didn’t mean-“ Rhaenyra cut her own sentence off, eyes squeezing shut. She had been given a chance, she couldn’t let it slip through her fingers. “I need to talk to you, I need to explain everything, I-“
“Explain?” Alicent’s voice was sharp, her glare darkening. “There is nothing to explain, nothing you could ever even conceive of saying that would ever-“
“Please, Alicent, please, just let me speak,” she begged, eyes desperately trained on the once-Queen. “You don’t even have to listen, or care, but I need you to know the truth.”
Alicent didn’t say a word, which Rhaenyra took as her cue to speak.
“Ali, you, you were right, right about everything, the gods, but my family was too,” she said, voice cracking over each word. “You were right about the demons too.”
Rhaenyra turned away from her oldest friend, choking on a sob as she continued.
“It wasn’t me, not since we were sixteen, not since I came back in that ditch, it took control of me,” she said. “I couldn’t stop it, I tried so hard, but it kept hurting everyone whenever I did, so I gave up, but I never wanted any of this to happen.”
Alicent looked like she was about to speak, but Rhaenyra cut her off, speaking so fast her words were jumbling together.
“Please, just-just let me finish, please, I swear I will never utter your name again, please,” she rambled. “It used me like a puppet, I was always there, but I couldnt control my own body, Alicent, it made me do this.”
Rhaenyra’s words finally faded, and she looked up at Alicent as a worshipper might a god. Alicent finally spoke.
“What do you mean, it?”
Rhaenyra shuddered at the word, eyes snapping shut in fear.
“A demon,” she whispered, so quietly it was almost unintelligible. “It took me when I came back.”
“Back from where?”
Rhaenyra looked down at the floor, tears welling in her eyes.
“To life,” she said. “It brought me back so it would have a host, so it could use me to do whatever it wished.”
At Alicent’s silence, Rhaenyra started to ramble again.
“I-I just couldnt take it, I had lost my mother, Baelon, Daemon, you,” she said. “I went to the top of the Keep, and jumped, but it made me come back, I never wanted to-I didnt wish for it to take me, I never wanted any of this to ever happen.”
She wrung her fingers together, tears freely dripping down her cheeks.
“I just needed to tell you,” she whispered. “I know I deserve nothing, not even this, and I know you will never believe me, but I had to tell you that I never wanted any of this, and I am so sorry, Alicent, I am so sorry for what I did to you.”
The silence echoed, ringing in her ears, so much like when-
“I believe you,” came the soft reply.
Rhaenyra’s head shot up.
Alicent was looking at her with a wary mask plastered over her face, but her eyes held no duplicity.
“I had a dream two nights ago,” she continued. “The gods told me to come to you, to hear your words. They told me what you would say, exactly as you have said it. I believe you, Rhaenyra.”
Time seemed to stand still at those words. Rhaenyra’s mouth had dropped open, mind completely blank for the first time in years.
“You-you believe me?” She croaked, fingers trembling as they curled around the bars.
Alicent took a deep breath, then nodded.
“Yes, Rhaenyra,” she said. The sound of her name in Alicent’s mouth was like honey, like every conceivable pleasure in the world, her name spoken not with hatred, but with-
You don’t deserve that, not EVER again.
“I believe you.”
Her body collapsed, no longer able to hold its own weight, and Rhaenyra sobbed. She sobbed for the first time since her mother’s death, since her father had married her best friend. She cried as she had not since that last night, the last night she had ever been free.
“I’m so sorry,” she cried, vision blurring from her tears. “I’m so sorry, Alicent, I’m so, so sorry!”
Something warm brushed over her hand, and she flinched back, staring upwards in shock.
Alicent was kneeling in front of the bars, hand hovering over Rhaenyra’s own. Her fingers were so, so gentle as they traced the backs of her palm, finally wrapping around the scarred hand.
“Rhaenyra,” Alicent said, and her other hand moved in between the bars, gentle as it cupped her cheek.
Not even the pain from her bruised jaw deterred her, as she melted into the touch, tears falling faster as she did.
“I’m so sorry, Alicent,” she kept mumbling, over and over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”