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Shin Kitae’s side hurt from laughing. It was a similar feeling he’d get when he had pushed too hard playing football and it resulted in an unfortunate case of side stitch. He let go of Lee Wan, rolling onto his back and breathing deeply until the cramp subsided, his face also sore from all the damned smiling he was doing.
He was a complete and total idiot, but he didn’t care. Not one bit.
He must have made some sort of pained noise when he rolled over because Lee Wan was back hovering over him, his eyes wide and clearly concerned. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Shin Kitae laughed. The fact was that this was the first time he was really okay in years.
He simply smiled in response, taking in Lee Wan’s big, soft eyes. In the last few years when he tried to remember Lee Wan’s face, it was easy to focus on how pretty he was. Shin Kitae had never exactly thought that before graduation because, again, idiot, but he was overwhelmed by the realization after. And even though Shin Kitae had photos and Lee Wan looked just as he remembered him, him being here in full technicolor, Shin Kitae still couldn’t tear his eyes off him.
He stretched up, fisting Lee Wan’s shirt and pulling him down so their lips met. He had imagined so many kisses - finding Lee Wan in the storage room before he left the camera, making it to the door before Lee Wan left the roof, catching Lee Wan’s arm before he ran away, not hesitating and getting to have that first kiss with Lee Wan that he discovered he wanted a moment too late. In each scenario he had imagined their lips pressed together in a different way, but the ending was the same - Lee Wan stayed.
Shin Kitae wanted so much to forget the look on Lee Wan’s face when he left Shin Kitae on the rooftop, and all the lonely days after. Regret was hard to shake, but he was determined to kiss Lee Wan in each and every way he had imagined and a million ways more. He would make sure they got to have everything they had missed.
“Your lips are soft,” Shin Kitae said, letting his head drop back to the floor. “I always thought they’d be.”
Lee Wan’s face flushed instantly, a demonstration of what Shin Kitae already knew, that he was the one who made Lee Wan blush. He loved it.
“What?” Lee Wan stammered, the way he always did when he was flustered.
Shin Kitae slung his arms around Lee Wan’s shoulders, bringing him closer again. “Wan-ah,” he said. “Are my lips soft too? Do you like them?”
Lee Wan exhaled. He closed his eyes as if he was shoring himself up. He was so cute, it made Shin Kitae want to wrap him up and hold on tight. But he needed to wait, to let Lee Wan answer.
Lee Wan bit his lip, eyes still closed and nervously said, “Yes.”
Shin Kitae would never let that kind of invitation pass again. He pulled Lee Wan down to him more forcefully this time. They were already getting better at this - touching each other, being in each other’s space, being close. They slid easily into soft, languid kisses, allowing each other to take their time feeling one another’s touch.
Shin Kitae couldn’t believe it. The feelings that had been growing over the years, the feelings that had already felt so consuming, somehow felt even deeper now that they could be like this. It was as if he’d been sleepwalking, and finally after all these years, he was wide awake.
He wanted to take in every moment of it.
It was a while before they stopped to take a breath, neither of them wanting to relent, to let go of each other. Shin Kitae’s mind was a blur. His self control was fraying. He couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t feel enough, couldn’t touch enough.
But he didn’t want Lee Wan to feel pressured. He only ever wanted Lee Wan to feel good when they were close. Still, Shin Kitae had spent so long keeping how he felt deep inside, he also didn’t want to hold back anymore.
“Can we get closer?” Shin Kitae finally managed to ask, his voice low and rough.
Lee Wan’s pupils were blown wide, his lips kiss swollen. He was so beautiful it made Shin Kitae ache. He blinked back at Shin Kitae, clearly unsure of what exactly that meant, but still he said in an equal whisper, “Okay.”
Shin Kitae immediately wrapped his arms around Lee Wan’s waist and pulled him on top of him. He was not one who was often lost for words, but he felt suddenly speechless. He could not even start to express how much he had wanted this, their bodies solidly together, Lee Wan pressing down on him, the weight of him a constant reminder that he was there, this was real.
He was still careful to pay attention to how Lee Wan reacted. He moved his hands up Lee Wan’s body, still over his clothes, still a barrier between them. The full body contact had seemed to shift the mood, no longer light and teasing. Everything felt more intense.
They kissed again, now a bit tentative, until they warmed to each other’s bodies. After some moments of reassurance that they were both where they wanted to be, they melted into each other, bodies more relaxed and settled. Their kissing became harder, fiercer. Their tongues tasting one another. Shin Kitae had never felt so needy, so desperate before. His entire body thrummed for more, more, more.
Despite how good their mouths felt against one another, how good it felt to have Lee Wan’s body enveloping him, after the initial thrill of their bodies meeting their position started feeling a bit awkward. Their hip bones were digging into one another and Lee Wan felt like he was having trouble balancing himself, so Shin Kitae shifted his thighs and let Lee Wan slide between his legs.
It was an intense wave of pleasure that rushed through Shin Kitae as their bodies rubbed against each other in a new way. He froze, his mind finally catching up with what his body already knew, that both Lee Wan’s pants and Shin Kitae’s shorts were very thin and it felt like there was almost nothing in between them. The new contact felt amazing, but he held his impulses tight, wanting to see how Lee Wan felt about their new position.
Lee Wan made a little noise as he braced himself over Shin Kitae, his eyes closed again. He was breathing hard as if he was trying to steady himself. His warm breath on Shin Kitae’s skin sent a shiver through his body, an involuntary movement that sent a burst of immense feeling through him again.
He ached to find Lee Wan’s lips again, to let go and show him how much he wanted to be together like this. It wasn’t just kissing that Shin Kitae had been imagining for so long.
“My heart’s beating so fast,” Lee Wan said, exhaling slowly.
“It’s okay,” Shin Kitae said. “We can stop. I know I’m over excited, I’ve just been thinking about this for so long. And you…,” he swallowed, gathering his words. “You feel incredible. But we don’t have to make up for seven years in one day.”
The edges of Lee Wan’s mouth turned up slightly, but his eyes were still closed. “I’ve been thinking about this too, even longer than you, remember?” Lee Wan said.
“I’m not so sure you’ve had the same ideas I’ve had. They’re pretty….” Shin Kitae stopped himself from naming some ideas specifically. He wouldn’t scare Lee Wan off again.
Lee Wan flicked his eyes open, but Shin Kitae did not see the worry or nervousness he had expected. No, his eyes were dark and full of a want in a way Shin Kitae had only ever seen in his own fantasies.
“Yes, I have,” Lee Wan said, his voice firm.
Shin Kitae hadn’t considered that he wasn’t the only one holding back. “You’ve thought about us like this?” he asked, his voice unexpectedly shaky.
Lee Wan smiled wide as if he had caught Shin Kitae in something.
“What?” Shin Kitae asked. His voice was more solid, but the rest of his body was completely overheated and he suddenly felt as though he had no idea how to hold himself under Lee Wan’s gaze.
Lee Wan bit his lip, but still didn’t stop smiling. “I used to imagine I’d get to kiss you like this.” He shifted down, moving against Shin Kitae’s body, kissing his neck, slowly working his mouth over Shin Kita’s skin, down to his collarbone.
“Wan-ah,” he gasped. He was losing his mind. Lee Wan was going to ruin him. Somehow, Shin Kitae was still an idiot. Lee Wan was the one who was daring enough to express his feelings first, how could Shin Kitae think he wouldn’t be daring in other ways?
Lee Wan slid his tongue into Shin Kitae’s mouth, making soft cut off sounds as he kissed Shin Kitae harder and harder still. He was now the one rubbing up against Shin Kitae, pressing their bodies hard against each other. Shin Kitae finally let go, responding touch for touch. He let out an involuntary noise, his hands finding their way to Lee Wan’s hair.
Shin Kitae’s hips responded, seeking the friction of Lee Wan’s body against his. Lee Wan seemed to take the noises he made as a sound of encouragement, moving against Shin Kitae’s body faster and harder, sliding his mouth back up Shin Kitae’s neck.
It felt too good. It was all too much. Shin Kitae couldn’t think. He was taken over by everything he was feeling.
He pulled Lee Wan’s body up, catching his mouth in a hard kiss, sliding his hands around Lee Wan’s waist and grabbing on tight. No matter how hard he tried, Shin Kitae couldn’t seem to hold Lee Wan close enough.
He’s here with me, he won’t run away. For so long Shin Kitae had wondered if he possibly imagined what had happened between them, if it was even true that Lee Wan cared for him that way. But Shin Kitae could finally feel it. He finally could experience it. He was truly wanted. Lee Wan really, truly wanted him.
Shin Kitae’s chest tightened, all his muscles tensed. There was no more holding back. All that was swirling inside of him finally let go in a rush that took his breath away. His body quivered as he came, unable to stop it.
“Wan-ah,” Shin Kitae said, his name a promise on his lips. A promise he finally said aloud that had been growing inside him for so long.
Lee Wan was looking at him, watching him, an unfamiliar expression on his face. Shin Kitae couldn’t read it, but it all rushed in at once, the realization he had come and Lee Wan hadn’t.
“I…I didn’t…” Shin Kitae tried to fix it, to apologize for letting it go so far, but he was a wash in all that he was feeling and unable to formulate coherent sentences.
“I missed you,” Lee Wan said, raising his hand to Shin Kitae’s face. His eyes were shiny now, deep and intense. “I’ve never stopped feeling this way about you, Kitae.”
It was more than Shin Kitae could bear. He was helpless to do anything other than kiss Lee Wan again, fighting off the wetness starting to well in his own eyes.
“You’re not upset?” he asked between kisses, comforted by the smile that was curling around the edges of Lee Wan’s mouth.
“No, why would I be? I want you to feel good.” Lee Wan leaned close to Shin Kitae’s ear and whispered, “You looked like you felt really good.”
“Why are you so smug?” Shin Kitae asked, playfully shoving Lee Wan’s shoulder. “Let’s see how you fare.” He wrapped his arms around Lee Wan’s waist again and shifted his body, moving Lee Wan onto his back.
Shin Kitae had gotten fairly messy so he wasn’t going to be able to make this happen the same way it had happened for him, but that wasn’t a problem. Shin Kitae had plenty of ideas.
Lee Wan watched him wide-eyed as Shin Kitae laid down next to him, sliding his hand under the bottom hem of his t-shirt. “Do you want me to…see?” he asked.
Lee Wan nodded, but he looked surprised, as if he had not expected this to go in this direction. Shin Kitae took Lee Wan’s closest hand in his, intertwining their fingers and pressing a light kiss to the back of it. He moved his other hand from the soft skin of Lee Wan’s stomach down between his legs, sliding his palm over Lee Wan’s obvious hardness.
Lee Wan let out an amazing sound, again and again as Shin Kitae moved his hand slowly but firmly over him. There was a spot on his pants that was a little damp at the tip of his erection, which made Shin Kitae even more crazy. Lee Wan was wet from what they were doing before. And he was still so obviously excited and reacting so intensely to Shin Kitae’s hands on him. All Shin Kitae wanted in that moment was to watch Lee Wan’s face as he came apart in his hands.
“Kitae,” he said, tightening the grip of their joined hands. Lee Wan's face was completely flushed and his breathing had become even more rapid. He was writhing under Shin Kitae’s touch, his back arching as he flicked his hips to meet the stroke of Shin Kitae’s hand.
It was the sexiest thing Shin Kitae had ever seen.
He leaned down to kiss Lee Wan again, pressing his hand more firmly, using his fingers to cup the outline of Lee Wan’s erection. That was apparently the right move because Lee Wan grabbed the back of Shin Kitae’s neck, pulling him into a hard kiss. He moaned into Shin Kitae’s mouth as he shook under him until his body relaxed onto the carpet.
“Wow,” Shin Kitae said, completely enamored with what he had just witnessed. Lee Wan opened his eyes, still heavy-lidded and looking a bit dazed. “That was…wow,” Shin Kitae said again.
Lee Wan smiled, a goofy, soft type of expression as he slung his arms around Shin Kitae’s shoulders. Shin Kitae let himself be drawn in, setting his face in the crook of Lee Wan’s neck, breathing in the scent of sweat, a hint of coconut from something Lee Wan was wearing and simply the familiar smell of Lee Wan. Shin Kitae could drown in it.
“I would love to keep touching you,” he said, his own excitement already back and insistent.
Lee Wan laughed. “I think I need a minute.”
“Take your time,” Shin Kitae said, smiling into Lee Wan’s shoulder. “Better yet, let’s go take a shower. We’ve got all day.”
“Is that a good idea?” Lee Wan asked. “We do have to actually go back to work tomorrow. It might be a bad idea to indulge ourselves. It could make it harder to drag ourselves back there.”
Shin Kitae jutted his lip out a bit. “We have years of deprivation to make up.”
“I thought you said we didn’t have to make up for it all in one day.”
“Oh, it definitely won’t be just one day.”
“Kitae,” Lee Wan said, covering his face. Okay, Lee Wan was still maybe a little bit shy. Shin Kitae loved this too. He loved all the parts of Lee Wan, all his contradictions, all his little quirks, all his infuriating tendencies. Everything.
“Wan-ah,” he said, realizing he didn’t respond to Lee Wan’s confession earlier. He didn’t like that he hadn’t. He would never miss an opportunity to respond to Lee Wan’s feelings ever again.
That’s what they were promising each other: no more running away, no more hiding how they felt. He would confess a thousand times over if that was what was needed to make Lee Wan truly understand how he felt when they were apart, how he felt now.
Shin Kitae brushed the hair off Lee Wan’s forehead and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips before he said, “I never want to miss you again.”