Chapter Text
‘Say something’
Stella almost begged her husband after he’d been silent for the last 30 seconds. Her voice shook slightly, giving away how nervous she was. Despite all this, all she got in response was more silence on the other end of the phone.
‘Kelly, you there babe?’ she tried again, picking at a piece of lint on her doona cover. She was sitting crossed legged on their bed, one knee nervously bouncing up and down - a habit she’d picked up as a child.
‘Uh yeah, I’m still here’ he finally responded. ‘Wow’ he finished almost lamely, still processing what Stella had just said.
‘I know.’
‘Wow’ Kelly repeated in disbelief.
‘Yeah’ Stella responded with equal disbelief.
‘When?’ Kelly’s question was whispered, almost like he didn't want to startle Stella, but truth was his mind was going a million miles an hour and it was the best he could come up with right now.
Stella looked down at the positive pregnancy test still clutched tightly in her left hand, and for the first time in the last 30 minutes, she allowed herself to smile. She thought back to the weekend she surprised Kelly in Alabama for his birthday. He’d been heading out of the training centre, deep in conversation with another classmate, when he’d spotted a familiar head of curly hair waiting by his car. He’d said a hasty goodbye to whoever he was talking to and ran to wrap Stella in his arms, smiling widely the entire time he was running towards her.
That first night, they’d barely made it back to his hotel room before they were undressing each other but lucky for them, there were no other guests in the hallway. It had been 4 long weeks since they’d seen each other in person and they couldn’t wait to connect again in every way possible.
The first round was quick and needy and they missed one another so much, they hadn’t even bothered taking their shirts off. But afterwards, as they lay side by side holding each other tightly, they revelled in the feel of being together again.
The next 2 days had been a blur, only leaving the hotel room once so Stella could take Kelly out for a romantic birthday dinner. Even then, he’d been reluctant to leave their private little bubble, just wanting to lay in bed with his wife's naked body pressed against his side.
‘I think it was your birthday weekend’ Stella answered him just as softly. ‘I've been feeling off for about a week, but a few people at the firehouse had gastro recently so I didn't think anything of it. But then I realised I was late and took the test just before I called you. Three tests really’ she finished with a nervous laugh.
Hearing that she wasn’t feeling well, Kelly's mind immediately went into protective husband mode. ‘How’re you feeling now? Do you need anything? Are you okay being on your own? Should I come home?’ he asked frantically, his mind racing with how he could help Stella right now.
‘Kelly, breathe’ Stella responded with a chuckle. ‘I’m feeling okay. Morning sickness hasn't been too bad. But I do wish you were here’ she finished a little sadly.
‘I know, me too Stel’ Kelly responded equally sadly, his heart clenching tightly at the thought of Stella being on her own. She must be so scared right now.
‘I'm scared Kelly’ Stella finally admitted softly. She spoke the words she’d been feeling since those two pink lines stared up at her from each pregnancy test on the bathroom counter.
‘Me too babe, but we've got this’ Kelly reassured her, his voice sounding way more confident than what he really felt. Truth was, he was terrified.
Terrified of getting it wrong. Terrified of not being a good enough dad. Terrified of turning into Benny.
Truly terrified.
Stella’s next words brought Kelly out of his spiralling thoughts.
‘Are we ready for this? A baby changes everything’.
For the first time since he’d answered his wife’s call 10 minutes ago, he thought he heard her voice crack a little. The long breath she let out followed by an unmistakable sniffle told him that his wife was currently trying to hold back her tears. He could picture her now, closing her eyes and breathing deeply in an effort to hold it together.
But she didn't need to hold it together right now. Not for him at least.
‘It does change everything and it’s okay to be scared. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about you and us’ Kelly tried to reassure her again. After a beat, Kelly continued.
‘What do you want to do?’ he asked softly. Kelly knew he wanted to be a dad more than anything, and there was no doubt in his mind that Stella would make an amazing mother, but he also knew she would be sacrificing a whole lot more than he would, mentally, physically and career-wise.
Kelly's question caught her off guard. Despite being surprised by this recent development, the answer was always clear to her. She was having this baby. She and Kelly had spoken about it a lot, especially since they’d gotten married. They both wanted a baby that was part Kelly and part Stella, a perfect combination of the two of them. A child that resulted from the deep love they had for one another.
But neither one of them thought it would happen now, when Kelly was hundreds of miles away in Alabama.
‘I want this’ Stella stated with conviction. Her tone left no room for doubt.
As soon as he heard those three words, Kelly let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Although Stella couldn’t see it, he was sporting a wide grin as he said these next words.
‘Me too Stel. More than anything’. Kelly paused. ‘Holy shit I can’t believe we’re having a baby!’ Kelly said as he ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair.
They shared a small laugh at this, neither one really believing that this was happening.
‘We are’ Stella responded, her voice laced with emotion and joy. She let out a wet laugh as she joined in on her husband’s joy and simultaneously wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks.
After a short pause, he repeated his earlier question. ‘Do you want me to come home? I’m sure I can catch the last 2 weeks of classes online and just do the practical stuff with Van Meter or Seager. Never thought I’d be this grateful to Benny, but the Severide name holds some weight here too.’
‘No, no way’ Stella shook her head resolutely. ‘You’ve been waiting for that open slot for years and it’s such a great opportunity for you. You can’t bail now that you’re so close to the end. It’s been 10 weeks already. We can wait another 2 weeks and then you’ll be home for good.’
‘But what about you? You’re gonna have doctor’s appointments and crazy cravings and back aches. I don’t want you to go through this alone.’
Stella smiled at how genuinely Kelly wanted to come home just so he could be at her beck and call.
‘Pretty sure I’m only 6 weeks along babe. You’re gonna have another 7.5 months for all that’ she laughed slightly. ‘I love you for thinking of me, but I don’t want you missing out in this arson course. I’ll be okay, I promise’ she finished softly.
‘Are you gonna tell anyone at the firehouse?’
‘Not yet. I’m gonna try and book in with my OBGYN first, just to make sure everything’s okay. I’ll also ask her what I need to do about work and if I need to start light duties now or later’.
‘Let me know when the appointment is. I’ll come back home for the day if I can’. Stella didn’t miss the hint of sadness in his voice. She knew that Kelly’s biggest fear was missing out on his kids’ lives like Benny had missed out on his and Katie’s. She knew he’d want to be there for every appointment, every ice cream run, every Bachelor marathon. Everything.
‘I will. And if you can’t make it, I’ll FaceTime you when I’m in there’ Stella reassured him.
‘Thanks Stel’ Kelly said sincerely. It was then that he noticed the time. ‘Shit I better get some sleep. Have an early morning tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, okay? I love you babe’.
‘Yeah same here, I better get some rest. I love you too Kelly’.
With that, they each hung up the phone and settled under their respective covers. As she got comfortable on Kelly's side of their bed, Stella’s hand landed against her still flat tummy. She fell into a restless sleep as her mind continued to race with thoughts of their little family expanding and everything it would mean for them.
***
Over the next week, Stella tried her best to get through things without Kelly by her side, but these damn hormones were wrecking havoc on her emotions.
She’d finally cracked two days ago. She’d been watching TV when a commercial for pet insurance left her in a sobbing heap on the couch, the Chinese takeout she’d ordered earlier left forgotten on the coffee table. It was at this time that Kelly called her for his daily check in.
When she picked up the FaceTime call and he was met with his wife close to hysterics, Kelly’s instincts kicked into overdrive.
‘Stella what’s wrong?’ he asked urgently, his blood pumping and heart racing as he dreaded the worst.
‘It’s just so sad’ she managed to get out after a couple deep breaths.
‘Babe what’s sad? C’mon you gotta tell me what’s wrong’ Kelly continued in a rush.
‘That puppy with one blind eye’ she pointed to where Kelly knew their TV was in the living room. It was then that Kelly realised she was talking about an ad on TV and not something real life.
‘Are you watching the pet insurance ad again?’ he asked softly, trying with everything he had not to burst out laughing. This particular ad made her sad even before she was pregnant, so Kelly wasn’t surprised this is the one that finally broke her.
‘Yes’ she replied as her voice shook again. ‘It’s just so unfair’ she let out as another wave of emotion hit her.
Kelly felt pretty helpless as he watched his wife’s body shaking and she continued to sob on the couch. What he wouldn’t give to be right there next to her and be able to pull her into a tight hug. Anytime she was feeling stressed or down about something, he knew she liked to rest her head against his chest and have him run his fingers through her curly locks. He felt that all too familiar pang of guilt in his gut that he was still stuck in Alabama instead of back home with Stella.
‘I know honey, but it all works out in the end for the puppy. She gets adopted into the best family with a baby of their own’ he gently tried to coax her back to reality and back to the matter at hand – her pregnancy and their baby.
Stella shook her head slightly and wiped away her tears in an effort to pull it together. At the mention of the word baby her face split into a wide smile. Kelly could see her turn her head downwards and knew that she was staring at her stomach.
‘Yeah you’re right. Sorry, I’m being silly. These hormones are killing me’ Stella said as she let out a genuine laugh. She’d been up and down all week and that sick puppy was too much on this lonely Thursday night.
‘Anyway, how are things there?’ Stella asked in an effort to distract herself from her raging hormones.
‘Things are good here, but really missing home and you right now’ Kelly responded sadly.
‘I know, but not long to go now babe’. Stella’s mind started fantasising about how this time next week Kelly would be home and they could finally celebrate their news together. She told Kelly the same in an effort to cheer him up a bit.
‘I’m sorry I'm gonna miss the first ultrasound Stel’.
Stella didn't miss the sadness in his voice. She knew how much he wanted to be there and she’d tried to book an appointment for when he could be back in town, but her doctor was completely booked out for the next few weeks and a chance cancellation meant that she got an appointment for Saturday morning. Kelly had tried to get some time off to join her for the weekend, but he had a practical exam that morning which he couldn't get out of. ‘I know Kelly, but you’ll be there for all the others’ she replied with a smile.
This brings Stella to her current situation - sitting alone in her doctors examination room, wearing nothing but her underwear and the gown she’d been provided when she walked in.
She wrung her hands together nervously. Despite being a trained paramedic, she didn’t know what to expect. Looking around the room, she examined the wall straight ahead of her, filled with a collage of pictures of infants that had no doubt come through the clinic over the last few years. There were even a few twins and triplets up there too.
She had tried calling Kelly earlier, hoping that the sound of his voice would calm her down, but he hadn't picked up. She hoped he would pick up when the doctor came in so she could FaceTime him as promised. She hated to admit it, but she wanted him there with her. He should’ve been here instead of Alabama. Why hadn’t she told him to jump on the next flight when he’d offered to do so two days ago?
A soft knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. Guess it was now or never, the doctor was about to walk in, and Kelly was going to miss this moment.
‘Yep, I’m ready’ she called out to the doctor. She leaned back in the chair, getting herself positioned for her ultrasound.
Stella was busy staring up at the ceiling, willing her tears to go away, when she heard a familiar voice from the doorway.
‘Hey you.’
Stella’s head snapped towards the door as Kelly walked quickly towards her, his suitcase being dragged carelessly behind him. Before she could say anything Kelly was by her side, hand gently resting on her head as he pressed his lips to hers in a sweet kiss. She kissed him back without hesitation, the familiar feeling of his lips against hers working wonders for her nerves already.
‘What’re you doing here’ she asked in confusion, her brow creasing as she looked at her husband.
‘I convinced some of the instructors to wake up at 4am and run through my test early so I could catch the 9am flight here. You didn’t really think I was gonna miss this, did you?’ Kelly responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He looked at her with love and a glint of humour and mischief in his eyes.
Stella laced their fingers together as Kelly’s other hand grabbed a hold of the one resting against her stomach. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come and picked you up’. Her thumb ran across the cool band of his wedding ring as she waited for his answer.
Kelly shrugged nonchalantly. ‘There was no guarantee they were gonna go for it. It took a lot of cajoling and the promise of drinks on me when I get back on Monday’ Kelly responded with a grin. ‘Didn’t want to get your hopes up babe’.
As Stella’s mind registered what he said, her eyes widened slightly. ‘So you’re here for the entire weekend?’ she asked him, her voice full of hope and excitement.
‘Nowhere else I’d rather be.’
She pulled him down to her again so she could kiss him properly, this time running her tongue along his lips silently seeking entrance. He obliged her without a second thought. Their make out session was becoming heated when Kelly suddenly pulled away from her. It was like he was a teenager again, caught by his girlfriend’s parents coming home.
It was only then that Stella realised her doctor had walked in and was politely clearing her throat to announce her arrival.
‘Sorry doc’ the couple said in unison, Kelly turning a bright shade of red as Stella simply laughed good naturedly.
‘All good. You guys wouldn’t be the first’ she chuckled. ‘Or the worst for that matter’ she added as an afterthought. ‘Just you wait until your pregnancy progresses and see how it effects your libido’ she grinned at them as she pointed between the two of them. ‘I’ve walked in on way too many couples doing more than...just kissing’.
Kelly gave Stella a mischievous look. He couldn’t wait to have this pregnancy progress. Stella rolled her eyes at her husband as she mouthed ‘dork’ at him. He simply picked up her hand again and held it tightly in his as the doctor got started.
‘So this is your first pregnancy Stella?’ she asked as she started preparing the ultrasound machine.
‘Yes that's right’ Stella responded a little breathlessly, her nerves kicking in again.
‘And how have you been feeling? Any pain or bleeding?’
‘No, none of that. I've had some morning sickness, but it hasn't been too bad. Ginger tea and saltine crackers seem to be helping for now. But generally, I'm feeling pretty good’ Stella summarised her last couple weeks.
‘Okay, that's good. Now let's check you out and see how baby is tracking. How far along do you suspect you are?’ the doctor asked as she applied some gel to Stella’s abdomen.
‘About 7 weeks. Kelly has been away lately, so it’s easier to track and that was our last time together’. She felt Kelly gently squeeze her hand, and she squeezed it back as she looked up at him.
‘Okay well then it's too early to hear a heartbeat or to find out the gender, but let's see if we can snap you guys some photos and get the baby’s measurements’. Kelly and Stella simply nodded, the anticipation of seeing their baby for the first time leaving little room for any other thoughts.
The doctor spent a few moments moving the wand around Stella’s tummy before she took a few screenshots and smiled widely at the loved up couple in front of her.
‘And there they are’ she pointed to a small blob on the screen. If she hadn’t pointed it out, neither Kelly nor Stella would’ve guessed that that was their son or daughter.
‘Oh my God Kelly. Look!’ Stella said excitedly, staring at the screen in awe. When she didn’t get a response from Kelly, she looked up at him to find him tearing up. She reached up to tenderly wipe away the few tears that escaped him as he smiled at Stella, the love he felt for her and their child evident in his expression.
They continued with their appointment as the doctor advised Stella which prenatal vitamins to take, as well as advising her to take minimal risks at work. She would re-assess Stella in a few weeks, at which time she’d likely need to switch to light duties.
The couple walked out of the clinic hand in hand, with their child’s first photographs securely tucked away in Stella’s handbag. Kelly couldn’t wait to gush over them when they got home.
***
Later that night, as Stella was looking at the ultrasound photos for the millionth time, Kelly emerged from their bathroom to find her leaned up against their bedhead, dressed simply in one of his old black t-shirts, her underwear and nothing else. She was so engrossed in the ultrasound photos, she didn’t notice Kelly admiring her for a few moments.
With her long, bare legs stretched out in front of her and her curls a wild mess cascading down her shoulders, Kelly didn’t think she’d ever looked more beautiful. Call it cliché, but she was absolutely glowing.
As he climbed onto their bed, Kelly flopped himself face-down and perpendicular to his wife so that his face landed right near her stomach. Stella giggled at his theatrics as he gently lifted her shirt to expose her tummy.
She watched as he peppered her stomach with soft kisses and splayed his large hands across her entire midsection, gently caressing what would be their baby’s home for the next 7 months. Stella simply watched the scene play out in front of her, cupping her husband’s face and neck with one hand, gently squeezing the back of his neck as she watched his eyes tear up again.
Trying to lighten the mood, she playfully asked ‘you sure you didn’t accidentally take some of my prenatal vitamins babe? I think you’ve cried more than me today’.
He simply smiled at her and pulled her down for a sweet kiss. As they pulled away he muttered a soft ‘thank you’ against her lips.
Stella’s eyebrows creased in confusion. ‘What for?’
‘For being you. For loving me as I am. For being okay with me going to Alabama for 3 months and supporting me every step of the way. But mostly for everything you’re about to go through to bring our child into the world. Thank you for everything you do for our family Stel’ Kelly responded softly.
‘Damn it, now you’ve got me crying. And I was doing so well all day’ she responded with a wet laugh.
Kelly shuffled so that he was sat facing his wife, one arm going across her thighs and landing beside her to help prop himself up on their bed. He gently wiped away her tears as he brought his face right in front of hers, close enough for each of them to see the other’s eyelashes clumped together from their tears.
He kissed her softly, pouring everything he had into the kiss. As was their thing, Stella cupped Kelly’s face with both hands, only this time, Kelly could feel the edge of the ultrasound photo still clasped between Stella’s fingers gently tickling his neck.
He reached behind his head to take the photo from his wife. They both stared at it for a few seconds before Stella decided to change the mood.
‘I think I remember promising you that we’d celebrate our pregnancy in person when you finally came home’. She flashed him a seductive smile while playing with the sensitive skin along the waistband of his pyjama pants.
Kelly felt the familiar tightening of his abs as Stella’s hand travelled further up his bare chest, circling a nipple as she watched it harden under her ministrations.
‘Yeah I remember’ he responded with a laugh. Without warning he looped an arm behind her back and gently pulled her down towards the foot of the bed so that she was now laying flat on her back. Stella shrieked in surprise before pulling him down for another kiss, smiling as she pressed her lips to his.
His hand travelled under her shirt and found its way to Stella’s breasts, causing a moan to escape her. She’d always loved when Kelly played with her breasts, but they were super sensitive these days and this feeling was something else entirely.
As Kelly rolled on top of her, careful to keep his full weight off her and their child, his lips crashed into hers with a need that took her breath away. Their hands and lips explored every inch of the other well into the early hours of Sunday morning.
Just before Stella fell asleep, she felt Kelly press a kiss to her shoulder and then to the back of her neck, before whispering a reverent ‘I love you both so much’.
Reaching behind her, she pulled Kelly’s arm across her midsection, covering his hand with hers as it rested against their baby.
‘We love you too Daddy. More than anything’