Chapter Text
“Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom there was a young woman named Patience. One day, Patience got her soulmark.”
“What did it say, mama?” Natalia asked eagerly.
Nadya Romanova smiled indulgently at her young daughter. “It said ‘I believe you dropped this, miss.’ For months, Patience wondered what her soulmate would look like and act like and what she would drop to bring about their meeting.
“One day as she was walking along the shore with her parents, a pearl hairpin fell out of her hair without her noticing. A moment later, she felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned to see the most handsome sailor she had ever seen holding her pin.”
“Was he her soulmate?”
“Wait and see, Natalia.
“The sailor said her words, and she was astonished that such a good young man would be her soulmate.”
“I knew it!”
“All Patience could think to say was ‘Thank you, kind sir.’ The man smiled, for those were the words on his soulmark. Patience and her parents were both delighted, and talk of a wedding began immediately, for in those times one did not wait long after finding their soulmate to wed.
“But there could be no wedding, for the sailor was due to be shipped out to sea the very next day. He promised Patience that they would marry as soon as he returned, and the next day she waved goodbye as the ship took her soulmate away.
“Every morning, Patience waited by the docks for news of when her soulmate’s ship would be returning. One morning, she heard the worst kind of news: the ship her soulmate had been on was attacked and was missing, and everyone on board was presumed dead.
“However, Patience believed her soulmate would never betray his promise to marry her. So every morning for a very long time, she waited by the docks for his ship to come in. Her family tried to arrange a marriage for her, as was custom when one’s soulmate had died, but she refused.
“Years passed, and still Patience stood out by the docks every morning, in every weather. She was an old woman when one morning a familiar ship finally appeared on the shore, and Patience could feel that her soulmate was on it. When the ship docked her soulmate, now as old as she, got off of the ship. He went over to meet her and proposed straightaway. And so her patience finally paid off. The end.”
Natalia had a little smile on her face, as she did whenever her mother told her a story. “Natalia,” Nadya said. “Can you tell me what’s wrong with that story?”
Natalia’s little brows knitted together. “What do you mean?”
“I’m going to tell you something, dear, and I want you to pay attention because it’s very important.” Natalia nodded seriously. “Do not waste your life waiting for a soulmate who may never come.”
“What –“
“Listen. Patience spent her entire life waiting for a man she barely knew, who might never have returned. I don’t want you to waste your life like that. Focus on your dancing.”
Natalia nodded again, though Nadya could tell she didn’t completely understand. This was probably the best she could do at this age. “Mama? Was my father your soulmate?”
Nadya smiled sadly and said simply, “No, dear. He wasn’t.”
“Then who was he?”
“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” she said, though she never did. “Just remember, don’t wait around for your soulmate. Some people don’t even end up liking or staying with their soulmates. You don’t need one to have a complete life.”
“Okay, Mama,” Natalia said, closing her eyes. Nadya kissed her forehead and left. It wasn’t until years later, when she was on her deathbed, that she would tell Natalia the truth – that women in their family would never get their soulmarks.
The first pair of soulmates Natalia actually met were the American couple who adopted her after her mother died. She was only nine years old, but she could tell there was something about their relationship that wasn’t entirely loving. Everything about them, from their hair to their smiles to their personalities, seemed fake. Like they were giving a performance to the world.
They lived in a big house outside of New York City with three other adopted children - a science genius, a pianist, and a child actor. Despite living with them for three years, she never got to know her adopted siblings. She was kept busy with ballet practice, allowed to focus on nothing except for dance and school. She’d been a ballet prodigy in Russia, one of the youngest performers in the country, and this was the only interest her adopted parents really had in her.
They changed her name as soon as she came to America into something less Russian sounding, despite her protests. It was not long before Natalia – now Natasha – learned that her adoptive parents were simply incapable of love.
All through high school and college, Natasha was convinced she wasn’t missing much by not having a soulmate. Most people her age hadn’t gotten their marks yet anyway and passed the time with casual hook-ups.
She met Steve in college. The scrawny, sickly guy who never knew how to back down from a fight quickly became her best friend. But despite his relentless romanticism about soulmates, he did not quite managed to convince her they were a good thing.
She remained unmoved by the idea until a few years out of college, when Steve met his soulmate. Bucky Barnes was a wounded veteran out on permanent disability. Steve helped Bucky deal with his PTSD, and Bucky soon became as protective of Steve as Natasha was. They were close and they were good for each other. Seeing their relationship, Natasha finally started to envy people who had soulmates.
But she was broken. Her entire family line was broken. Her grandmother had been convinced that they were cursed because of something an ancestor had done, and Natasha was starting to think that maybe she was right. She was resigned, though, and knew better than to hope for something that would never come.
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If there was one thing Natasha hated, it was not being able to find something when she needed it. Particularly when she was in a hurry to get going. Particularly when that something was her underwear.
She had gathered up her bra and dress, and was just about to look under the bed when the man behind her spoke.
“Hey.”
She turned, and the naked man lying on the bed – Robert? Randy? – was holding her underwear on one finger. “Oh, thanks,” she said, taking them and slipping them on.
“You can spend the night, you know.”
She scoffed internally. Natasha had had a lot of one night stands, but she had spent the night at a man’s place only once before and regretted it instantly. The morning after was terribly awkward. She’d been young and inexperienced. She knew better now.
Instead of telling him all this, she said simply, “I don’t spend the night.”
The guy – maybe it was Richard? She was reasonably certain it started with an ‘R’, but the bar they met at had been very loud – nodded groggily. “Yeah, I leave after too. We’re the same, you and me.” He wiggled his finger between the two of them. “Can’t imagine what it’s gonna be like when we get our marks, huh? People like us aren’t meant for soulmates.”
Natasha bristled. Why did men always assume they knew her just because they’d had sex?
Even though she did kind of agree with him on that one.
“Yeah,” she muttered, pulling on her shoes and picking up her purse where she’d left it by the door. Robert/Randy/Richard was half asleep by this point, but she threw him a quick wave anyway and left.
She walked to the nearest subway. There were only a few other people on board at this hour - a couple of drunk, giggling girls sitting together and an old man further down. She took a seat as far away from others as she could. She rested her head against the seat behind her and her eyes caught the ads lining the walls. There was one for an upcoming movie, An Illicit Affair – What would you do if you had to choose between your soulmate and your country? That sounded idiotic. Then there was another for a dating website called “Second Chances,” for people whose soulmates had died. The one next to it displayed a grinning blonde woman – Erica Arthur, number one wedding planner in the city! Her slogan was: You found your soulmate. Let me take care of the rest.
Like it was difficult to find your soulmate? Words appear somewhere on your skin, then some months later you meet someone who says those words to you. There, you’ve found them. Exhausting. Better not exert yourselves by planning a wedding. You might actually have to work at something now instead of having your life partner chosen for you by some unknowable cosmic force.
She could practically hear Steve’s voice in her head; Don’t be so cynical, Nat. You’ll change your mind one day. Soulmates are a beautiful thing.
Ignoring the voice of Steve’s semi-annual, ‘soulmates are great, Natasha, and here’s why’ lecture, she hopped off the subway and walked the rest of the way to the apartment she shared with him. She wasn’t sure if Steve was even home, as he spent so many nights at Bucky’s lately, but she opened the door quietly just in case.
Steve wasn’t up, but Bucky was in the kitchen, heating up a pot of soup on the stove.
“Hey, Nat,” he greeted. He was wearing nothing but pajama pants, so she could see his prosthetic arm. Bucky and Steve had met eight months ago, but it had taken three months until he’d felt comfortable wearing short sleeves around Steve, and five for Natasha.
“What are you doing up?” Natasha asked, toeing off her shoes and going around to sit at the counter. “It’s 2:00 in the morning.”
Bucky just smirked and waggled his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes. “Where is my actual roommate?”
“Asleep.” Another suggestive look. “I wore him out. But I needed sustenance. I’m guessing you do too.” He ladled soup into two bowls and slid one to her.
“Thanks.”
“So, how was your monthly lay?”
Natasha paused with the spoon half way to her mouth. “My what?”
Bucky raised his eyebrow. “You know. About once a month you dress up all hot-“ he looked pointedly at her neckline. “Go to a bar, make some guy’s night, then come home.”
Damn. Was she that predictable?
“I do not do it once a month…” Though now that she thought about it…
Bucky smirked at her. “You totally do. Must be the phases of the moon or something.”
“It’s not exactly a month, I’m sure.”
“It so is. I remember because last time me and Steve were both still up when you got home and then we watched Chopped together. Then the month before that, I was here when you were getting ready, and that was about a month before.” Natasha remained silent. “Don’t you think it’s weird that you have sex like clockwork?”
She finished her soup and pushed away from the counter. “I think it’s weird you’re counting.”
“What can I say?” He shrugged. “I’m observant.”
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Practicing ballet had always relaxed Natasha. It was the one constant she had, the one thing that had been with her since childhood and through her entire life, and it always had the ability to soothe her.
“You’re doing it wrong.”
“I know that, you loser.”
“You’re the one losing.”
Teaching ballet, on the other hand, was not so relaxing.
“You’re both doing it wrong,” Natasha said, using her patient teacher voice. “Pietro, you’re jumping entirely too fast. Wanda, you’re just lifting your foot too high, it’s throwing off your balance. Try again.”
Natasha watched as the twins spun and jumped, taking mental notes on areas to improve, of which there were few. Wanda and Pietro were her best students, despite also being her youngest.
After college, Natasha had decided to turn her part-time ballet instruction job into a full-time career. Last year, she had finally saved up enough to buy her own studio so she could stop renting. Her days were usually full, of both short and long-term students, usually teenagers and young adults. They were almost always individual lessons. Except the twins.
She was taking them through the cool down when Pietro asked her, “Do you have your soulmark?”
Natasha blinked. That question had come out of nowhere. “No. Why?”
“Girl at school got hers,” he answered, stretching his arms over his head.
“And of course now she’s suddenly popular,” Wanda said with an eye roll. “Everyone is so impressed because she’s so young. Even the teachers fawn over her.”
“I think it’s kind of cool,” Pietro said. Natasha wasn’t entirely sure if he was saying this because he thought it was true or just to irritate his sister.
“I think it’s lame,” Wanda said coolly. “It’s not even that impressive, all it says is ‘Sorry.’”
“Well, I can’t wait to get my soulmark. I’m dying to meet my soulmate.”
“Don’t be too eager, Pietro,” Natasha warned.
“Why not?”
She debated for a moment whether to tell him her opinion on soulmates, but quickly decided against it. No need to burden him with her cynicism at such a young age. "You have your whole life to meet your soulmate,” she said, trying to sound sage. “It’ll happen when it happens.”
“Soulmates are dumb anyway,” Wanda insisted. Natasha decided that she was her favorite student.
“You just don’t understand romance,” Pietro said loftily.
“I understand more than you.”
“Impossible, I’m 12 minutes older – oops.” Pietro slapped his hand over his mouth, but it was too late.
Wanda let out a triumphant “ha!” and Natasha smirked. “You know what to do.”
Pietro sighed but did his dozen pliés, Natasha’s ballet version of ‘drop and give me 20,’ without complaint.
The twins left a few minutes later and Natasha went to check her phone. She had two messages: one from Pepper about getting together for lunch this weekend, and one from her next appointment, canceling her session.
Despite being frustrated by the last minute cancellation, she was happy for the early end to her day.
She debated briefly between going out to grab dinner and just going straight home. She was kind of craving Thai. But if she went home now she’d catch Steve before he started making dinner and he’d probably make her some too. Home-cooking quickly won out.
As she walked home, her phone vibrated in her pocket.
Pepper: Tony made me a robot that reminds me when I have to take my birth control pill.
Before she could respond, another one came in.
Pepper: Honestly, I make one comment to the man about wanting kids in the future and he panics.
Pepper: Did I say I wanted them right now? No. I said future. I was very clear about that.
Natasha: Let’s see what happens if I give him some baby clothes for Christmas.
Pepper: I know what will happen – I’ll murder you.
Natasha grinned and sent back a winky face.
She’d only met Tony Stark a few times, even though he and Pepper had met months ago. But still, despite his somewhat abrasive nature, Natasha liked him and thought he was a good match for her friend. The universe had done a decent job on that one.
And okay, the universe had done a pretty good job on her roommate, too. Like Pietro, Steve had been one of those people that couldn’t wait to meet his soulmate, and he had not been disappointed when he met Bucky – even though their first meeting consisted of Steve having to arrest him. They were the best example of soulmates Natasha had ever seen, and she loved them both dearly.
But she did not need to see graphic examples of their love. Especially not on her kitchen counter. But as soon as she got home and opened the front door, she got an eyeful.
“Guys, oh my god!” Natasha yelled and covered her eyes with one hand, trying desperately to un-see. But it was far too late. The mental image of her best friend being bent over the kitchen counter was going to be burnt into her retinas for the foreseeable future.
“Nat, shit!” Steve sounded embarrassed. She could hear him sliding off the counter and scrambling to pull his pants up. “What are you doing home?!”
She counted to ten in her head before she was willing to open her eyes again, and was thankful that they both now had pants on. Steve was flushed and refused to meet her eyes. Bucky was smirking, the bastard. He would find this funny.
“I had a cancellation, I came home early. I have never regretted anything more.”
Steve groaned, dropping his head into his hands. Natasha was tempted to stay just to mess with him, but she was having a little trouble fighting back a blush herself.
“For fuck’s sake, at least disinfect the counter,” she said as she turned around to go through the front door. Looked like she would be getting Thai food after all.
“We always do!” She heard Bucky yell as she closed the door.
Ugh.
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The next night Steve and Bucky cooked her favorite food, chili, presumably to make up for her mental scarring. Although this wasn’t the first time she had walked in on them (they did have a remarkable inability to keep it to the bedroom), it was the most she had ever seen. The other times they had, mercifully, not gotten that far before she accidentally interrupted.
But she only teased them a little bit, despite how much she loved winding Steve up, because he had walked in on her before, too. She didn’t have a soulmate, but she was 25 years old, and she had been rooming with Steve since college.
Steve was a little old-fashioned though, and always insisted he was “saving himself” for his soulmate, no matter how many times she’d tried to get him to hook up with someone in college. After he met Bucky, he told her it was well worth the wait with such a love-struck look on his face that she couldn’t even bring herself to tease him. It was a look she saw on his face quite often, in fact, since he’d met Bucky.
Including now, even though all Bucky was doing was setting the steaming pot of chili on the table.
“Is there cornbread?” Natasha asked.
“What are we, animals? Of course there’s cornbread.” He slid the plate of it over to her.
“How was work?” Steve asked her, ladling chili into his bowl.
“Make anyone cry today?”
“That was one time, Buck.” Natasha rolled her eyes. “She bragged every chance she got about having four years of ballet experience and she was terrible. She needed a little tough love.”
“That’s what I love about you, Nat.” Bucky grinned. “You’re a sensitive soul.”
“How are the costumes coming along?” Natasha asked Steve, who was being oddly quiet.
“Good. I’ll need you for a fitting soon.”
“A fitting? You didn’t need to measure me last year.”
“These costumes are going to be so much cooler than last year, though,” Steve said excitedly. “We’ve never done a three person group costume before, this is serious business.”
Bucky nodded sagely. “Toy Story costumes are the epitome of serious business.”
The conversation lulled after that, but Natasha got the impression that Steve and Bucky were having their own silent argument. Bucky nudged Steve with his arm, Steve looked up to glare at him. Bucky raised his eyebrows and glanced towards her. Steve looked at her nervously. Natasha tried not to get annoyed.
Eventually, Bucky seemed to win their silent debate because Steve sighed and put his spoon down.
“Natasha, there’s something we need to tell you.”
“You’re pregnant.”
He gave her an exasperated look. “You know what, Romanoff?”
Natasha smirked. “Sorry. Go on.”
He exchanged another glance with Bucky, who nodded and placed his hand over Steve’s across the table. She started to get a little concerned.
“Bucky and I have decided to move in together. Into his place.”
Steve was looking at her like he was afraid she was going to explode. Bucky appeared to have a little more confidence in her, but he was still waiting for her reaction.
“What, before you get married? You hussies.”
Bucky laughed loudly, and Steve looked relieved.
“I’m happy for you,” she continued. And she was. She and Steve had been roommates for a long time, but Natasha was under no delusions that it would last forever. Nothing good ever did.
“Thanks,” Steve said, picking his spoon back up.
“Told you there was nothing to worry about,” Bucky told him. He turned to Natasha. “He thought you were going to throw a fit.”
“I did not,” Steve argued. “All I said was you’re not a big believer in the soulmate thing and that you might not be overly pleased.”
The way Bucky raised his eyebrows at her indicated that Steve may have been downplaying his words a bit.
“I always knew someday your soulmate would come take you away from me,” Natasha said, injecting as much levity as she could into her voice. “And you’ve never been happier than you are with Bucky. It’s disgusting, actually, how happy you are.”
Steve and Bucky exchanged a thoroughly disgusting look.
“Just wait,” Bucky said. “You’ll meet your soulmate soon and be just as disgusting to those around you.”
“Then we’ll get to tease you,” Steve added.
“I don’t have a soulmate,” Natasha reminded them. They knew this. She didn’t know why they kept acting like they didn’t.
“Natasha, you don’t know that –“
“I do, Steve. You know my mother didn’t have one. You know my grandmother didn’t have one. And probably everyone on that side of the family, if I could trace it back.”
“They must have died before they could get their marks.”
“My grandmother lived to age 75,” Natasha said. “Maybe there’s some chance my mom could have died before she got hers, but it’s extremely rare to not get your marks until that late.”
“But not unheard of,” Bucky pointed out.
“Everyone has a soulmate, Natasha,” Steve insisted, reaching across the table for her hand. She let him, but was resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She loved Steve, really she did. He was her best friend. But the guy was a hopeless romantic. “I’m sure of it.”
Natasha thought it must be nice to be so confident in the good nature of the universe, but she sure wasn’t. The universe had been pretty unforgiving to her in the past. She had no reason to believe it would turn over a new leaf now.
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She may have talked a big game about being fine with Steve moving out, but the reality of it honestly didn’t hit her until the boxes started appearing the very next day. Apparently the goal was for him to be out on November 1st, which made sense. That’s when the lease was up. But still, that was one week away. She should probably think about finding a new roommate.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to look far.
A few days after Steve and Bucky dropped their co-habitation bomb, Natasha was having lunch with Pepper at their favorite pizza place. Besides Steve and Bucky, Pepper was easily her closest friend. Not that there was a lot of competition; Natasha had a small circle, and preferred it that way.
Pepper was telling her about the latest Tony Stark adventure, which involved no less than three minor explosions and some significant property damage.
“At least it was his own property this time,” Natasha said.
Pepper snorted. “Yeah, unlike the ‘experimental robot in the park’ incident. That man.” She shook her head fondly.
“I assume he’s still in his lab now?”
“The garage, actually. He got a new car. That damn garage is the only place that’s harder to get him out of than his lab.”
Natasha nodded. She knew this. Pepper had told her this many, many times.
“What about you?” Pepper asked. “Anything new?”
“Well, Steve is moving out.”
Pepper gasped. “Really?” She asked, grinning and clapping her hands together.
“Uh… yes?” Natasha didn’t bother to hide her confusion at her friend’s reaction. “He’s moving in with Bucky.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Pepper said, still smiling. “I’m excited because I know someone who’s looking for a new place! You are going to be wanting a new roommate, right?”
“Yeah.”
“His name is Clint Barton, he’s Tony’s friend,” Pepper said. “I think you’ll like him. He’s our age, runs an animal shelter. He’s funny, and he puts up with Tony, which you know is a rare skill. You want to meet him?”
Natasha shrugged. “Sure, why not? Bring him to the Halloween party.”
“Okay! Starts at 8:00, right?”
“Yep. You and Tony figure out your costumes yet?”
Pepper gave a long-suffering sigh. “Gangsters. Unoriginal, I know. But Tony would only agree to a costume where he got to wear a suit.”
“Why?”
“Something about his dignity, I don’t know. So it was either a gangster or James Bond. And I refuse to be Pussy Galore.”