Chapter Text
“Ha—Haru, I’m… coming,” Sousuke breathes above Haru, and he only manages a nod in response as the other thrusts harder. Beads of sweat trickle down his forehead, and Haruka gets an intense urge to wipe them away as an excuse to just touch Sousuke, but he refrains.
Sousuke comes not too long after, and then he’s a collapsed, heavy breathing mess on top of Haruka. “That was good. Did it hurt?”
“No,” Haru replies, biting back a smile. Sousuke always makes sure Haru isn’t in pain, always making sure he’s okay. It’s a little strange, but he finds it cute. “And I agree.”
“Good. I’m gonna go wash up and then head back home.”
Haru’s stomach drops, but he maintains his neutral facial expression. This was their agreement, and Sousuke’s words shouldn’t surprise him. Yet they always do, because after all this time, Haru naïvely thought that Sousuke may have wanted to stay for just a little longer just because they’re friends.
Is that what you could call it? No, Haru guesses they’re more like friends with benefits in a very strange arrangement that no one else knows about. This was the result of Sousuke coming home to him one day after his frustration with his situation had reached a peak.
For some stupid reason, Haruka offered his body and sex to Sousuke as a way for the taller man to get out his aggressions. Ironically, Sousuke’s never too violent whenever they have sex. Sometimes he gets rough, but Haruka doesn’t mind it. It’s never too much and never hurts too badly. Except in his chest, but that wasn’t directly affected by the sex, per se.
Sousuke emerges from the bathroom when Haru is still sitting on the side of his bed. He sticks his head in through the door, and Haruka forces himself to not look as devastated as he feels on the inside.
“Right, I’m leaving,” Sousuke announces.
“Okay,” Haruka replies, and with a short nod, Sousuke exits Haru’s house. He listens for the door to close properly, and when it does, he lies back down on the bed, pulling his knees up and hugging them.
I’m such an idiot.
The next time they get together to have sex, it’s at Sousuke’s apartment. He’s had a bad day at work, and Haru’s had a few idiotic customers come in and bug him in the pastry shop, so they both benefit from this today. Well, they usually do, but Sousuke doesn’t know Haru's reason.
Haru walks in as if he isn’t just a fuckbuddy who comes by every now and then, knowing almost every nook and cranny of Sousuke’s place. Maybe that’s because they’ve had sex in every nook and cranny of this flat, but he doesn’t cling to the details of it. It’s cold out, so he’s brought his jacket and is wearing thicker socks than usual. Sousuke, however, has thinner clothing and isn’t wearing socks, but that’s probably because he wasn’t the one to recently make his way over here. Haru knows he’ll be warm soon enough, anyway.
Sousuke comes up behind him and places two firm hands on his ass. “Where do you want to fuck today?” he murmurs into Haru’s ear, sending a shiver from his head down to his toes.
Haru turns his head. “I picked last time. You pick.”
“Right. Okay, I feel like the couch. Go and make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right out. Any condom preferences?”
Haru shrugs and walks away from Sousuke, mostly because having him so close without actually fucking him is driving him nuts. “Take those with the weird goose bumps all over them.”
“Goose bump condoms”, Sousuke says through a laugh, and makes his way towards the bedroom, while Haru sits down on the couch. He shimmies his way out of his tight jeans and folds them before placing them on the floor, and then removes his socks and shirt. He finds people who have sex with socks on disgusting — who doesn’t have time to remove their socks, anyway? — and he’s glad at least Sousuke always takes them off, too. It just feels a little more intimate to him, but he’s pretty sure Sousuke doesn’t think anything of it, if anything maybe because it’s more convenient that way.
Sousuke returns with a condom and lube bottle, and he places them on the coffee table in front of the couch. Neither of them ever really get embarrassed about these things; it just all flows smoothly and they go about their business as if it isn’t anything special. Well, it shouldn’t be, considering the agreement they have. But of course, Haru just had to be the one to break the unspoken rules of said argument, and actually find this special. Being close to Sousuke is a special thing for him, being able to feel Sousuke’s body against his own is special. And as long as Sousuke doesn’t find out, he doesn’t mind thinking of it that way.
Having stripped out of his clothes, Sousuke motions for Haru to get on all four, hands on the couch and knees on the floor in front of it. Before he has a chance to really prepare himself after having gotten into his position, Sousuke’s behind him, his hands firmly gripping Haru’s asscheeks, spreading them wide, and then he easily flits his tongue inside Haru’s ass. Haru tilts his head back with a breathless moan, letting his eyes flutter shut.
Haru normally isn’t much of a vocal person. He’s a man of few words, he prefers to keep conversations short, and doesn’t usually speak up even when he probably should. It’s never been part of him, but for some reason, when he has sex, he’s very vocal. Moaning, pleading, whining, whimpering, begging… Maybe this is all Sousuke’s doing. Maybe Sousuke’s the one who’s changed him into being like this. Whatever the cause is, Haru doesn’t know if he likes it or not.
Sadly, Sousuke doesn’t stay there very long, before he switches his tongue out with his fingers. Either way, it’s still Sousuke — and that’s obviously something Haruka doesn’t mind, whether it’d be him getting rimmed or just fingered.
One finger becomes two. Sousuke scissors them, curls them, pushes at Haru’s prostate, making him shudder and let out one of many moans that’ll spill past his lips that evening. Haru’s actually begun to sweat, like he’d expected, and he’s glad they’re not actually in a bed right now. Well, to be fair, he and Sousuke rarely ever make use of the duvet, anyway, so it doesn’t really matter whether or not they’re fucking on top of a bed or a couch as soft and comfortable as Sousuke’s is.
“I’m ready,” Haru says, and Sousuke slows down his movements.
“You sure?”
He rolls his eyes, impatient. “Yes.”
“Okay.” It doesn’t even sound like a ‘suit yourself’ kind of ‘okay’, but Sousuke seems to actually trust Haru’s judgement. Okay, so maybe he isn’t quite there, but Haru’s impatient, and even if it hurts a bit, it’ll only remind him that this is happening, it’s real, and Sousuke’s still there with him after all this time. Like someone pinching you to make sure you aren’t dreaming.
A latex-coated length enters him while two strong arms slowly bring him down. Haru lets himself slide down onto Sousuke’s cock and bites his lower lip, a small crease forming between his eyebrows. It isn’t often he’s in this position, so it’s nice with a little change. Besides, this gives him more leg exercise than the boring old missionary position, and it kind of gives him more control of the situation, too.
Haru starts moving, and Sousuke quickly adjusts his thrusts to the smaller male’s pace. The pattern on the condom makes for an interesting sensation as Haru lets Sousuke go in and out of him, and he makes a mental note to tell Sousuke to buy more of these. He’d gladly do it himself, but since Sousuke’s forced him to accept the fact that Sousuke would be the one buying condoms, he doesn’t have to do it himself.
Not that he’d mind; he’d gladly do it. But since Sousuke’s on top for the most part, he’s told Haru that he wants to be the one responsible for ‘the things he’s using’. And it isn’t that Haruka’s been forced into accepting being on the receiving end, he doesn’t want to be the one on top because he feels uncomfortable in that situation. And of course, with Sousuke’s big ego, he definitely doesn’t mind being on top, so naturally — he’d been the one left in control of their supply of condoms and lube.
Sousuke’s grip on Haruka’s waist tightens, and Haru digs his nails into Sousuke’s back. They’re so close, Haru can feel the other man’s breaths fanning against his skin, and he has to again resist the urge to kiss him. Sometimes, he feels a little sad over the fact that he's never once kissed Sousuke, but for the most part, he prefers to keep it that way. It makes it just that much easier to deal with his agony of being in love with his fuckbuddy. One more barrier between them to keep Haru from completely losing himself.
“Haru, are you okay?”
He flinches, coming back from his daydream, and looks at Makoto in front of him. His best friend has a worried frown on his face, and it seems like Haru’s just missed out on something serious.
“Sorry. Did you say something?”
“I said that Rin and I are planning on going to the shrine on New Year’s. We thought we’d ask if you want to come; Rin’s going to ask Sousuke, too.”
Oh, that sounds like an absolutely brilliant idea, Haru thinks sarcastically to himself. Having Sousuke see Rin kiss Makoto when the clock strikes twelve is going to devastate him, Haru’s sure of it. This whole situation is messed up beyond reason, really. Haru’s in love with Sousuke, who’s in love with Rin, who in turn is in a relationship with Makoto. How did it end up like this? Why did Haru have to be part of this dumb equation?
“Oh,” Haru replies slowly, shaking the sarcasm off of him. “Actually… I think I’m just gonna stay home. Don’t like crowds.”
“But Haru, it’s New Year’s Eve,” Makoto points out in an effort to make Haru change his mind. It’s not going to work; he doesn’t want to be around Sousuke on one of those romantic moments you only get to experience once a year, when he won’t even get to do anything romantic with Sousuke. He’s going to have to see Sousuke glare at someone else, and Haruka knows he won’t be able to stand it.
So why is he in this weird arrangement with him, if it’s so difficult for him to be with Sousuke when Rin is around? Maybe it’s just because when they see each other to have sex, it’s just the two of them. Just as Haru prefers. When they meet, there’s no time for no one else, they never eventalk about what Haru doesn’t want to hear, and maybe that’s why it’s so much easier when it’s just the two of them.
He realises now why Sousuke used to have such a burning hatred towards him back in the day, because he saw Haru as a threat, and as someone who stood in Sousuke’s way of getting what he wanted. Little did he know — hell, Haru wouldn’t even have guessed it himself, and he’s supposed to know Makoto better than anyone else — that Rin would fall for Makoto, and that they’d start dating.
Haru’s surprised that Sousuke has yet to catch on, that Sousuke hasn’t seemed to realise that Haru has feelings towards him. Maybe he really is as dumb as Haruka used to think all those years ago before they made up and become friends — well, somewhat. But maybe that’s for the better, because if Sousuke actually knew, then maybe they wouldn’t be in this arrangement anymore.
“I know it’s New Year’s,” Haru replies. “But I don’t want to go. I don’t see the point, it’s the same thing every year, anyway. Take Sousuke with you, I don’t care.”
Except he does. He actually hopes Sousuke’s going to turn them down and say he won’t go, or that he has other plans. Just because he doesn’t want for Sousuke to be around Rin when Haru himself isn’t there.
Makoto sighs, surrendering. “If you say so. I just… you’ve seemed down for a while, so I figured I’d try and bring you with us to get you in a better mood. I’m worried about you, Haru-chan.”
Haru tries to smile, although he knows it doesn’t reach his eyes and that it probably looks as fake as it feels. He doesn’t even bother to tell Makoto the usual ‘drop the –chan’ he’s had to say so many times during their years together. “I’m fine, Makoto, I promise. Maybe I’m just getting sick or something.”
Sick of being in this situation? Yeah, sounds about right.