Chapter Text
“I don’t like men anymore” Harry said, slamming his beer cup, hiccuping. He was clearly drunk, his glasses askew and his hair being more tangled than usual with the amount of times he kept fidgeting with it.
“I see,” Draco said shortly. Watching his friend, one of the greatest wizards of all time, drink his soul away in muggle London.
“So you’ve gone back to being straight after all those years?”
Harry sighed drunkenly and burped “I might as well, my luck with women is better than it ever will be with men”
Draco sighed and shook his head, grabbing Harry’s cup before he could chug it down again “Come on Harry talk to me, did something happen? Where’s the happy-go-lucky guy I know?”
Harry groaned and grabbed his head “Well maybe I’m not the perfect golden boy you know!” he whined and Draco eyes widened at his sudden outburst.
“Harry you know that’s not what I meant” Draco said sternly.
Harry just looked at him for a beat then sighed “I know…” Harry mumbled sniffling “I just hate the way everyone else sees me ya know?”
Draco sighed to himself. Harry was already way too drunk for Draco’s liking and grabbed Harry’s beer, giving him Draco’s own cup of water and chugged down the rest of Harry’s drink.
God Draco hates the taste of beer.
Harry looks at him for a moment and laughs shaking his head. Draco was going to ask what was so funny but Harry just sighs “That was mine” Harry whined.
“We both know you're a lightweight, plus you need to be sober so you can tell me what’s wrong” Draco said wiping his mouth and gesturing to the glass of water in front of Harry.
Harry whined some more, grabbing Draco’s cup of water and just staring at it.
“Do you know Luke Evans?” he says still staring numbly into the glass
Draco thought for a moment “The healer at St Mungos?”
Harry nodded “we were talking for a couple of weeks and then he stopped talking to me” Harry breathed in trying to keep his drunken tears from spilling “When I went to his work today and asked why he said that he couldn’t date me because ‘it just doesn’t feel right’’’ ”
Draco raised his eyebrow “that's absurd, what does that even mean?”
Harry hiccuped “That's what I asked! And when I asked he just told me that dating a person like me would be ‘too much’”
Harry began tearing up “We were doing so well, I don’t know what went wrong”
Draco took some tissues out of the tissue box besides them and handed them over to Harry
“Well that’s just being stupid, He’s just being a git, It’s not your fault”
Harry blew his nose into the tissue harshly “No but it is” He whined
“Why?”
“Because!” Harry exclaimed “I’m Harry Potter the boy who lived, the golden boy- I mean it’s true! I am too much! Every person I’ve gone out with and dated has always turned me down because they are so scared of the Daily prophet going up their asses!” He said slurring his words.
Harry cried some more and blew his nose loudly into the tissue “But Luke said he was different, that he wouldn’t do that to me…” he breathed out shakily “and I thought he was too”
Draco just looked at the man that he grew up with looking so dejected. It always hurt whenever they were in this situation, and Draco hated the fact that this wasn’t the first time. Draco’s and Harry relationship started on a weird note, after the war they went their own separate ways ending on good terms, however when they both found out that they were both studying to be Aurors they spent their university years together as well as their working years together, their offices being right next to each other. Draco always found it hilarious that no matter what he did he could never escape Harry even if he wanted too. Thankfully to Draco once they began actually talking to each other Draco soon realised that Harry was actually a very enjoyable person to hang around, and as they got closer Draco thought it was time to reveal something about himself that he only told his closest friends.
Draco Malfoy is a raging homosexual
What's even funnier is that Draco said that exact line when Harry asked him what girls he was into. Draco learned two things that night when Draco confessed he was gay.
- Was that Harry Potter was also gay
- He was the most hopeless romantic Draco had ever known
Draco’s confessions seemed to deepen their friendship even more and suddenly Draco was at the end of every single one of Harry’s blabbers about love and the guys he talked to. Draco of course didn’t mind, Harry was now genuinely his closest friend and always enjoyed listening to him talk. However despite Harry being great at seeing people and dating them, he’s never been able to keep them which always ends with Draco and him sitting at a bar while he cries and talks. It was a sickening cycle, he always hated seeing Harry get upset.
And that’s what was happening now, Harry crying over another guy that didn’t deserve his attention in the first place.
“Harry…” Draco began to comfort but Harry interrupted him immediately
“Think of it, Draco! We’re both 24 and we haven’t even gotten our first kiss yet!” Harry exclaimed
Draco raised an eyebrow “I do recall you have two girlfriends”
“I was a closeted gay man! Those two don’t count” he mumbles
Draco laughed, which earned a small smile from Harry
“I know I’m being silly, Luke was probably just another asshole that would break my heart again but-” Harry sighed and breathed in “It’s just- whenever I get home I always feel so goddamn lonely. I just want to be able to open the door and finally have someone standing on the other side”
Draco stayed silent at this. He definitely related to that feeling of isolation, everyone craves love in different forms and people like Harry out of all people definitely wanted it the most. He sure deserved it the most. So Draco got to thinking and looked around the bar they were in.
“Have you ever tried muggle men?” Draco asked.
Harry looked around as well and shook his head “No actually, ever since I got the job at the ministry this has been the first time in months that I’ve come down to the muggle realm”
Draco smiled “Well then, why don’t you try dating some muggle men? I’m sure that they definitely won’t care about your status”
Harry pressed his lips into a thin line “really?” he asked hopefully and Draco nodded.
“Of course, and besides you grew up a muggle, you know how they work right? Like that magic box they use!”
Harry laughed at that “Draco I told you it’s called a phone”
Draco waved his hand at that “Well whatever the name is it’s certainly better then having to Owl everyone”
Harry continued to smile which Draco was thankful for, he was glad he was able to cheer up Harry in some way.
“Hey speaking of phones, how do you like yours? Come on, it's a pretty sweet Christmas present right?”
Draco felt for the phone in his pocket and smiled “Yeah I still don’t know how to use it right but it’s certainly wonderful I love those moving images of those cat’s you send me”
Harry giggled “What a gif?”
Draco nodded “So that’s what they are called” he added wistfully
Draco’s limited knowledge on muggle technology seemed to make Harry laugh more and more and suddenly Draco was not that mad he didn’t know how to use his phone properly.
After Harry calmed down after his laughing fit he sighed satisfied and gave Draco a smile “Thank you” is all he said.
Draco smiled at him “Any time”
Draco held up his empty glass and encouraged Harry to do the same “To Harry Potter, the person who will, find the love of his life one day”
Harry clinked his glass of water with Draco’s and smiled sheepishly “you actually think that? You think that someone will actually fall in love with me?”
Draco nodded “Of course, how could they not?”
Harry smiled and giggled to himself “I think I’m ready to go home now”
Draco nodded “Do you think you can get home?” Draco asked and Harry immediately shook his head.
“I think I am way to drunk for that” he admitted with a little hiccup and Draco rolled his eyes grabbing Harry’s arm and putting it over his shoulders, paying for their tab and once they got into a private alleyway he apparated them both to Grimmauld Place where Harry lived.
As Harry fumbled for the Door knob Draco had his arms hovering around Harry just in case he toppled over “Do you think you can get yourself to bed? Or do you need me to tuck you in?” Draco said jokingly but was very concerned with how unstable Harry was by standing.
“Yeah I can get myself in,” Harry said, slurring his words.
Draco didn’t really believe that and he was thankful that he didn’t, swiftly catching Harry from falling face first in his doorway.
“See we’re in” Harry said chuckling while Draco groaned, putting Harry’s arm around his shoulders and walking Harry up to his room. Draco had only been to Harry’s house a handful of times and was able to find Harry’s room without any trouble. Once he layed Harry into bed and took off his shoes and tucked him in properly, he went downstairs and made a glass of water, putting it on Harry’s nightstand. Once Draco was satisfied with the way he was leaving Harry he went to leave, but halted when he felt someone grabbing the end of his trench coat.
“You’re leaving already?” Harry said softly.
Draco nearly chuckled with how childish Harry looked right now. All cuddled in his quilts and the candlelight glow illuminating his face in a way that made him look so youthful.
“I have to go,” Draco whispers back.
The grip on Draco’s trench coat became tighter and Draco swore that in the candlelight he saw the shine of tears in Harry’s eyes.
“Do you really believe someone will fall in love with me?” Harry asked and Draco smiled, walking up to Harry’s bed and taking off his glasses tentatively , folding them next to him on the bedside table
“I am most certain of it”
Harry smiled, letting go of Draco’s coat satisfied then closing his eyes, falling asleep right then and there. It pained Draco’s heart really, the fact that such a wonderful person such as Harry questioned whether he will actually ever receive love. So when Draco got home that night and opened the door to his own apartment all he could think about was Harry’s words that were stuck in his head.
Whenever I get home I always feel so goddamn lonely. I just want to be able to open the door and finally have someone standing on the other side.
And Draco had never related to that more. The creaking of his door being the only noise in the overbearing silence that filled his house was proof of that. To say that love wasn’t something that Draco craved for would be a lie, but the issue with Draco is that the more and more he tried to get it the more and more he realised how he didn’t deserve it. Every person he has ever dated has always retracted once they find out that he is a death eater, and (although even Harry doesn’t know the amount of muggle men Draco has seen) relationships with muggle men always ended up with Draco having to erase their memories because once Draco was ever intimate with anyone, once he was able to show the tiniest bit of vulnerability they’ve all left.
What hurts the most is that Draco doesn’t blame them.
He never could, because every time he was intimate about his past, the amount of times he had to explain to people why he did what he did during the war only made him realise more and more how much he fucking sucked as a human being, but just because he might not deserve love, doesn’t mean he still doesn’t want it.
It just means he has limited options when it comes to it.
However just because Draco himself had troubles with love doesn’t mean Harry should. So when Draco got to his bedroom, he pulled out his phone and began figuring out how the fuck to use it, trying to devise a plan for Harry. He remembered Harry telling him that there was this search engine that he could use in order to look up stuff if Draco was ever curious about something. So Draco searched up the only logical thing he could think of to solve this.
Safe Gay bars
And upon diving into the internet he eventually found a couple of places in Muggle london to visit that he thought Harry would have liked and then saved them through the wonderful tool of a screenshot, saving it for later. Then after turning it off, Draco took some time to stare at the ceiling.
He eventually fell asleep thinking about what breakfast to buy Harry to cheer him up.
—
When Draco went to work the next morning he stopped by Harry’s office to drop off the blueberry muffin and coffee Draco bought for him, but when Draco opened the door to Harry’s office, he had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing when he saw Harry sprawled over his desk groaning.
“Tough night?” Draco announced his existence.
Harry’s head shot straight up but then he moaned when he moved his head too fast and then smiled all in the span of 3 seconds.
“Draco,” he said, almost relieved.
Draco set down the muffin and coffee in front of Harry which caused him to sigh of relief.
“God I am so glad I have you” Harry said gratefully, taking the coffee and drinking it with a refreshed sigh.
Draco just chuckled and flatted a strand of hair on Harry’s head “do you even remember anything that happened last night?”
Harry shook his head “Not really, I just remember crying an awful lot” Harry frowned “Did I cry a lot?”
Draco chuckled “I thought you wouldn’t stop”
Harry pouted and sighed “Yeah I’m sorry, I was just really upset about Luke”
Draco shook his head “Don’t apologise, of course that sort of thing hurts I understand why you were upset” Draco said stealing a bit of the top of Harry’s muffin and eating it.
“Ok I’m gonna go do my job now, cheer up ok?” Draco said, already walking himself out.
“Okayyy” Harry called out, but just before Draco left Harry called out for him “See you at lunch? There’s a new muggle cafe I want to check out”
Draco turned around and smiled “Sure, knock on my door yeah?” he said, shutting the door and walking to his office that was just right next to Harry’s.
When he entered his office, Draco took off his coat and put his briefcase on his desk, already dreading to open it. He had been put in charge of an ex death eater's house that has been suspected to have recent activity. If Draco was being honest he had actually wanted to become a healer, however after each different interview he took part in all the interviewers said the exact same thing.
Do you think anyone would want to be healed by a death eater?
Although Draco hated whenever he had to engage with something in his past, he was bloody good at it. So when the ministry offered for him to be incharge of anything Death-eater related, he accepted. If an ex-death eater was forever going to be the thing that people see him as, he might as well fall into it. However despite being in charge, due to his history he had an assigned “Watcher” they called it, someone to keep watch over each and everyone of Draco’s moves. Draco usually never minded being watched whenever he did cases, however the new Watcher that had been assigned to him doesn’t hide any of his disgust when it comes to Draco. Draco had been lucky enough to be doing reports for the entirety of the week, but this bloody house had forced him to go investigate, so of course his Watcher had to attend.
Henry Jones was the bane of Draco’s existence. Every time Draco did something it was always met with rude comments and complaints about how Draco shouldn’t even be working. Of course Draco had learned to tune it all out, but he was so Goddamn loud he couldn’t do anything about it. So as Draco finished another report and sent it in, he got dressed in what Draco liked to call his “Sleek uniform” which consisted of an all black attire that fitted Draco properly so that he was able to move around easier including a harness belt (the belt served no purpose but Draco couldn’t help but feel like a cool spy whenever he wore it). He then went to knock on Jones' office, feeling his breath hitch with a twinge of fear when the door opened to reveal Jones.
Jones was a small man with a pudgy face that always seemed to be red and a moustache so large that you could barely see his mouth when he talked. When Jones saw Draco he snarled which caused Draco to sigh
“Sir, I did put a reminder that we were supposed to be investigating today”
Jones snarled “I don’t open mail from Death Eaters”
Draco bit his lip, he was used to this. He just has to act calm.
“Please get dressed in proper attire, I will be waiting for you outside of my office” Draco said swiftly walking off stabilising his breathing.
He always hated this part of the job.
Draco stood outside his office, leaning on his door with his hands in his pockets waiting for his Watcher to come. Draco wished he could just be sitting in his office, but the last time he waited for Jones inside his office they never went out on their mission because Jones said he didn’t want to knock on the door with a death eater. So Draco stood there awkwardly, trying not to make eye contact with his other workmates.
“Draco?” a low voice called out and when Draco turned his head to see Harry carrying stacks of papers he smiled relieved to see a familiar face.
“Hey Harry, that’s sure a lot of paperwork” Draco said, grabbing the top half of the stack and opening Harry’s office door to let him in.
“Tell me about it” Harry groaned as he put the stack of paper on his desk.
Draco put his stack down as well and smiled, nudging Harry’s head with his knuckles
“How’s the headache?” Draco asked while Harry smiled and adjusted his glasses.
“A Lot better thank you but that’s besides the point- what on earth is that outfit?” Harry asked eyeing Draco from top to bottom “you look like a spy”
Draco laughed “Yeah I’m going on a mission, just waiting for my Watcher to come along”
Harry raised an eyebrow at the “Watcher?” He repeats unsure.
Draco breathed in quickly. Whenever it came to topics where Draco’s past as a death eater had to be brought up he usually avoided it with Harry. Draco knew that even if he told Harry all of his shameful moments he would always just smile and say that it’s ok and that all is forgiven. Draco knows that Harry is one of the purest souls out there, however everytime Draco brought something like this up he couldn’t help but feel like Harry secretly disliked him more and more.
“Yeah, Jones, he's my watcher. Regarding my past I’m not allowed to do any missions without him”
Harry frowns “That’s not right Draco” Harry says oddly stern
“It’s fine really, I don’t blame them-”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“Well I mean it’s not really important is it?-”
“Draco it’s important to me if people aren’t treating you properly especially if the ministry has done this-”
“Malfoy” A deep voice calls out
Draco turns his head to see Jones standing awkwardly outside of Harry’s office looking angry. Draco sighed to himself then turned to smile at Harry. Jones was a huge part of the ministry that frankly liked to gossip, Draco is usually very careful with their interactions at work, only conversing inside their offices and when they hang out to go lunch usually only going to muggle cafes.
“Please excuse me Potter, I have to get going” Draco says swiftly walking to Jones.
The sudden formality caused Harry to frown deeper, but Draco didn’t have time to acknowledge it. This was a side of Draco’s life that he despised and he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure Harry saw as little as possible.
As Draco was about to escort Jones to the front Harry called out for him.
“Draco” Harry said loudly and Draco nearly cringed.
“Yes Potter?” He said back feeling the way Jones was staring at him with rage.
“Come back soon for lunch, yeah?”
Draco just smiled and nodded. He could feel the rumours begin.
Draco and Jones walked out of the office and apparate to the house under investigation. Draco’s heart was thumping in his chest he knew what was going to happen.
“So why were you and the saviour talking to each other?” Jones mumbled behind Draco as he stepped into the house.
“Potter needed help with carrying some files and I went to go help him,” Draco said, looking around the entrance to see if it was spiked with any traps.
“He called you by your first name”
Draco felt the walls “Potter is very friendly” Draco says.
“But why on earth would he-”
“Sir this is a very dangerous task and I would like for you to respect me and keep quiet please” Draco said finally, breathing in and out. He just snapped at his watcher…
He is so fucked.
“How dare you talk to me like that?” Jones snapped, causing Draco to flinch.
Draco turned around with his hands in the air apologetic “I’m very sorry sir it’s just that-”
“No one talks to me like that.” Jones stated, walking closer to Draco.
“Yes I’m sorry sir, please be careful I haven’t searched the whole hou-”
“No one. You hear? Especially from little-” Jones stepped closer
“Filthy” His hand was on Draco’s chest.
“Death eaters like you”
All Draco could remember was the pain he felt in his head when he got shoved.