Chapter Text
Leaving Shepard at Kaidan's place left a sour note in his mouth, but Garrus reminded himself that they were both adults...and that Shepard was the toughest woman in the galaxy. He did his duty and brought the doctor to C-Sec, driving there in silence. She thanked him and he headed back to the Normandy in the wee hours of the daylight cycle.
He found himself staring at his omnitool for another hour as he waited for Shepard to come back or leave them a message. Garrus sighed and shook his head. I guess she's staying the night, then. It wasn't often that he felt lucky to be single, but seeing the messes that other people got themselves into over "love" was always one of those times.
Garrus stretched out on his cot in the forward battery. "Love," he said quietly, rolling the word around in his mouth. He chuckled as he remembered Liara and Kaidan fighting over Shepard back on the SR-1. Both of them seemed infatuated with her then, but she spread her free time equally among the crew, helping them tie up loose ends without complaint. Annoyingly, he thought, she was often the voice of reason among them.
"I've seen enough death." She once said. He could still remember her hand on his as he gripped his pistol, warm and startlingly strong, as she kept him from shooting the mad scientist he chased. His mandibles twitched in a smirk when he remembered how quickly she drew her own sidearm and shot him dead when the Salarian tried to attack him after surrendering.
After Saren's defeat, he left the Normandy and applied to be a Spectre with Shepard's recommendation. They kept in touch regularly at the time - he often asked her for advice, and she did her best to cheer him on. His heart shattered when news of her death spread through the Citadel. Attending the state funeral given by the Council was... difficult, to say the least.
The Council still failed to heed Shepard's warnings and the subterfuge around her death frustrated him to no end. The red tape he thought he was done with cropped up more and more as the Council hurried to cover up the work Shepard had sacrificed herself for.
He dropped out of the Spectre program and found himself floating aimlessly and spending too much time at bars. Then Omega, Sidonis... so much had happened in the two years she was gone. He was a dead man walking when she crossed that bridge into his hideout on Omega.
He still remembered how his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he saw her violet-blue eyes in the scope of his rifle. A small part of him still wondered if he died that day and Shepard had come to meet him in the afterlife.
That wouldn't be so bad, he thought to himself as he fell asleep.
Shepard slunk onto the ship at 0900. Luckily this wasn't an Alliance frigate anymore or EDI would have announced her arrival across every deck. As it were, Garrus' omnitool pinged.
Shepard: Shipping out to Ilium in 0300hrs. Wrap it up.
XxPsychoticBioticxX: OoOOoo did u fuck him
MLawson: That's none of our business, Jack.
Joker: that means she definitely did
Joker: WAY 2 GO COMMANDER
DJacob: Wait, what happened??
Mordin: Shepard. Recommend you see Chakwas for STI screening.
Shepard: Next person who comments on what I do in my spare time gets spaced. Out the garbage compactor.
Joker: it was that bad huh???
Shepard: JEFF
Garrus snickered. He sat at a workbench in the Armory and put down his soldering pen to read the messages. He didn't spend much time in the Armory but some detail work required a dedicated space. That, and Jacob usually ignored his presence.
"Hey Garrus, you know what that was about?" Jacob asked from across the room. Garrus flicked his eyes up from his workbench and bit back an annoyed sigh. "Not sure," he drawled, "but if you want to take the risk you could ask the Commander yourself."
Jacob snorted, "Yeah, no thanks. I'd rather take my chances with a rachni."
"Smart man." Garrus replied with a smirk. He had no love for Miranda and Jacob; the former seemed likely to stab someone in the back as soon as she could, and the latter, well, he couldn't quite figure out how Jacob got the job. He seemed to be a mediocre soldier with no concrete loyalty to either Cerberus or Shepard. The fact that both of them were Cerberus agents meant that Garrus never let his guard down around them.
Garrus tapped a talon against his chin and decided to pack up his gear. He made his way to the elevator in the CIC and pressed the button. When it opened, Shepard stood there, and she gave a slight nod to Garrus when he stepped in. He noticed her jaw was tightly set and she looked more tired than usual.
She had showered and her curly hair was still damp. He could smell her floral shampoo, but under that, the remnants of Kaidan's pheromones lingered on her skin. He sniffed and caught the faintest trace of Shepard's past arousal.
"Garrus?" She called to him. He looked at her and realized he had zoned out. "Hmm? Sorry, what was that, Shepard?"
"You're not getting some kind of cold, are you?" She asked. He blinked and shook his head. "No. No, I was, uh. I thought I smelled something odd." He said. It wasn't really a lie.
She narrowed her eyes and gave him a curious look before they stepped out of the elevator. "I'll be in the forward battery if you need me, Shepard." He said to her. Garrus made a beeline for the battery while Shepard headed to the mess.
When the doors closed behind him, Garrus grasped at the railing near his station and inhaled deeply. He hoped the smells of machine lubricant, metal, and eezo would help flush out the scent of her and Kaidan. Kaidan.
He felt something unfamiliar coil in his belly and his grip on the metal railing tightened. When they ran into Kaidan on Horizon, he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with Shepard. Garrus had to watch as she put on a brave face for her team while he fought the urge to punch the man.
That ungrateful jerk doesn't deserve her, Garrus thought to himself as he flexed his talons. I may be jealous, but it's not like I'm deserving of her, either. He let out a self-deprecating chuckle at the thought.
Spirits, am I jealous? Garrus took a deep breath to try and collect himself. The scent molecules from earlier still lingered in his nasal cavity, and closing his eyes made him picture Shepard. Her soft red curls, smooth pink skin, plump lips, and that beautiful smile of hers.
He wondered briefly about the mating habits of humans. They obviously had sex for enjoyment more than procreation. Human women looked similar to Asari, all softness and curves, but he never thought much about alien genitalia. He filed that away in his brain for later when he could search the extranet in private.
Mess Sgt. Gardner served up their midday meal en route to Ilium. After finishing his meal in relative silence with the crew, Gardner approached Garrus on his way back to the battery.
"Hey, Garrus, would you mind taking a plate up to the Commander? She only had coffee this morning."
Garrus scratched the back of his head. "Uh, sure, I can do that."
"Thanks. If anyone can get her to sit and eat something, it would be you. I think it's difficult for her what with the crew being all Cerberus."
He felt taken aback; he didn't even notice but it made sense now that he thought about it. He'd eaten with Shepard many times in the mess but it was always him, or one of their main squad, eating at the same time. Shepard did her best to remain optimistic and at least friendly with the crew but the distrust ran deep.
Gardner handed him a tray of food and Garrus carried it to the elevator. He hit the button for her cabin and waited. Garrus stepped in front of her cabin door and knocked, with EDI announcing his arrival on the other side of the door.
The door slid open and Shepard looked at him expectantly from her seat at the desk. "Yes, Garrus? Do you need something?" She asked. Then she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry, that came out more clipped than I wanted it to. What can I do for you?"
He had planned to deposit the tray on her desk and leave, but he knew if he did she would keep working and forget to eat. Her face was looking thinner than usual, and her eyes had dark circles under them. Instead he carried the tray over to her coffee table.
"I was asked to bring your lunch up. Word on the deck is you haven't had anything but coffee since yesterday." He said as he set her tray on the table. Garrus sat on the sofa and leaned back, crossing his arms as he looked over at her.
She smirked, "So are you here to make sure I eat like a good girl?" Shepard asked, and he felt a little jolt go through him. "Well, that," he drawled, "and I thought you might like some company. Unless my ugly mug makes it difficult for you to eat." He added.
Shepard set her datapad down on the desk and walked down to the sitting area. "Now why would you think that?" She asked as she sat down next to him. "Didn't you say something about how chicks dig scars?"
She reached her hand out towards his face and paused, her eyes searching his. "May I?" She asked softly. He nodded slowly and dipped his head down as her soft fingers brushed against the side of his face. "It looks like it's healing well. Does it hurt?"
He made a sound deep in his throat and caught her hand in his. "No, but it tickles when you do that." He said.
Shepard grinned and let go of his hand. Her cheeks looked more pink than usual. "I think it adds to your Turian bad-boy charm, Archangel. "
"Yeah, yeah. Just don't tell anyone it's because I forgot how to duck."
She laughed, "then what should we say?"
Garrus held his chin. "Good question. How about, 'they thought they could get to me through Shepard, but I heroically took a rocket to the face for her.'"
"Is this the part where I swoon?" She asked. "Well, it couldn't hurt." Garrus replied with a smirk.
"My hero!" She squealed and swooned dramatically onto the couch. Garrus chuckled. "I never thought I'd see the day when the great Commander Shepard would swoon. I could start a retirement fund from the vid sales alone."
"Please. If you've seen some of the emails I get, I could buy a private island in the tropics and live off the royalties if I ever made vids." She said as she picked at her food.
Garrus saw the tips of her ears turn red and fought the urge to ask for more details. "Well, if you ever need a co-star, I'll need to earn a living after we finish with Cerberus." He said. Shepard immediately coughed and choked on her food as he realized what he'd said. Garrus panicked and thumped her on the back, "dammit, Shepard!" he exclaimed.
She coughed again and managed to clear her airway with a big gasp. "Oh my god, Garrus," she managed between coughs, "Do you say that to all the ladies?"
No, he wanted to say. "Well you know I can't keep the ladies off of me," he said dryly. Shepard laughed and ate her lunch, clearly more at ease in his company.
Garrus cleared his throat. "Uh, Shepard... I don't mean to pry, but are you okay? After last night..." he trailed off, making a vague motion with his hands. He watched her grow still and close her eyes as she thought of what to say.
Shepard drew a shuddering breath. "After seeing him on Horizon, I guess I... Held out hope, that maybe things weren't final between us. Last night it almost seemed like we could patch things up again but I don't know if he can ever trust me again." she said, trying to keep her voice even. "He still doubts that I'm me, Garrus."
Garrus turned to face her. "Well, if it helps, Shepard, I never once doubted you. You shouldn't either." He said seriously as he looked into her eyes.
She wiped her eyes with the heel of her palms. "Thank you, Garrus. That means a lot to me."
"Anytime, Shepard. Now be a good girl and finish your meal." He replied, his subvocals thrumming when he saw her blush. Interesting.
"Do you still plan to kill Sidonis when we find him?" She asked. He blinked at the unexpected question. "I do. Do you plan to stop me?"
"No," she replied quickly. "I trust you to do the right thing."
He scoffed, "I think you place too much trust in others, Shepard."
"No. Just you."
The gentle smile she gave him shot right through to his heart. He kept his mouth shut so he wouldn't risk sticking his foot in it, and watched as she stood up and grabbed her empty tray. His subvocals buzzed excitedly as his pulse rose.
"Come on, I'll bring my tray down and you can tell Gardner I ate." She said, beckoning him to the door. Garrus rose and followed her out. She paused and looked at him expectantly. "Aren't you forgetting something, Garrus?" she asked.
Garrus stepped closer and leaned in towards her ear. "Good girl," he purred. He could feel the shiver that ran up her spine and he smiled to himself. When the elevator door closed after them, he noticed a familiar scent as they rode down in silence.
________________________
Garrus found himself pacing in the battery, clenching and unclenching his talons. He was close, so close to finding Sidonis and putting a bullet between his eyes. He'd spoken with Liara and found out that Sidonis hired someone on the Citadel to help him disappear. Shepard agreed to help him search when they went back to the Citadel.
Shepard, he thought. She said she wouldn't stop him, but Garrus knew she would try to talk him out of it. Appeal to his better nature. As if I have one, he grumbled to himself. He wasn't sure what she saw in him, aside from being a crack shot that could cover her six.
They had picked up two more squadmates on Ilium, Thane and Samara. Shepard was still a little cool towards them - regardless of Thane's high appraisal of her - likely due to the fact that the Drell and Asari both operated outside of the law. They followed their own codes, but to an Alliance vet like Shepard, that made them no better than cold-blooded killers.
Garrus chuckled to himself. I suppose now I'm lumped in with them, too. But still, they easily joked together, ate together, and chatted during their downtime. Just like old times, he thought. Except now they had a history together, and he grew to know her better. Do I want more? He asked himself.
He still remembered how just a few days ago they spent time in her cabin, just the two of them, and she felt comfortable being vulnerable with him. They flirted, he was pretty sure, and he learned that she might have a thing for being praised. I guess humans and turians have a few things in common.
The faint smell of her arousal was tucked away into a corner of his brain. A corner that activated when he recalled her soft hand caressing the injured side of his face. Those large violet-blue eyes of hers looked at him with such tenderness that it hurt.
He felt his plates shift around his sheath when he started to imagine those soft pink hands of hers touching him elsewhere. It was evening in the ship's daylight cycle so he tapped his omnitool to lock the battery door. Garrus shed his armour and sat down on his cot.
With his omnitool he pulled up an extranet search after setting his privacy filter.
Search: Human anatomy
Plain illustrated diagrams that looked like they were from a scientific text popped up. Hmm, okay, so that's usually on the outside of human males. Easy enough to adapt. Largest penis in proportion compared to apes.... Pfft. This is my competition? He looked at the diagram of a woman's body and hummed. Similar to Asari, except for their hair... Which also grows on the pubis? Interesting. He briefly wondered if Shepard's pubic hair would also be red.
Search: Human mating habits...no, this is all about humans dating humans. Hmm.
Search: Human/Turian intercourse
"Zaphod Beeblebrox's Guide to Inter-Galactic Sexual Liaisons"
The title made him feel dirty, but he also felt the need to be taking notes. It looked like humans spent the last thirty years since First Contact learning how to fuck every sentient species in the known galaxy. Is that what she looks like? He thought, it looks so small and soft and... Dainty. Suddenly he worried about accidentally injuring her and found that addressed on the extranet site as well: "Humans with vaginas have amazing flexibility and durability. Just make sure to take it slow, use lots of lubricant, and communicate!" That was oddly reassuring.
He clicked further and nearly jumped out of his carapace when a video started playing and he heard a woman moaning. Spirits, is that what they sound like? The whimpers and moans were decidedly erotic, and Garrus couldn't help but imagine the noises that Shepard might make. That he could get her to make.
His erection slid free of his sheath and he palmed himself over his pants. A vid of a woman masturbating came up next and he groaned as he imagined it was Shepard. Veronica.
Garrus pulled his erection out from his pants and it wasn't long before he let out a strangled moan and came onto himself. He sighed and slumped back on his cot as he paused the video. I guess it's been a while.
He got up and cleaned himself off before settling back down to get some sleep. I've never thought about having sex with an alien before... but Shepard isn't your average alien, or human for that matter, he thought to himself. But... She's also my best friend, what if I screw that up?