Work Text:
Pepper pops her head around the corner and smiles sweetly at Natasha and Clint.
"Can I count on you two to keep a secret?" She asks, then stares.
“Can we?” Clint sasses, seeing how she just caught them making out in their kitchen. Natasha smirks and hops off the counter, Clint’s arm settling around her shoulder.
“Definitely. Won’t even tell Tony. At least now I know why your security feed is always turned off. And why Clint is always out of breath when I visit.”
“Yeah. We figured he can crawl through the vents faster and it would look as suspicious if he climbs out of the vents after you get there.” Natasha explains.
“What secret do we have to keep?” Clint asks.
“The reason why Tony collapsed.” Natasha raises an amused eyebrow.
“You shocked the great and mighty Tony Stark? That must have been something pretty good.” Clint jokes. Pepper's face falls a little.
“I thought was.” She drifts off. “Anyway, I just need help getting him off the balcony.”
“No offense, but why didn’t you just get one of Iron Legion to do it?” Natasha asks.
“Iron Legion? Right, why didn’t I do that? Gah, I didn’t know it started this early.”
“Wait, what started this early?” Clint asks his mind immediately going to thoughts of brain tumors and their effect on memory.
“Pregnancy brain. Shit! It really does start this early.” Clint's eyes nearly pop out of his head.
“Now I understand why Tony collapsed. Come on Clint lets go get him.” She says dragging the stunned archer behind her.
“Are you sure this is going to work?” Pepper asks nervously.
“It always works on Clint when he gets knocked out on missions.” Natasha supplies, laughing inside at the memories.
“You make it sound like it happens every week.” He pouts.
“It happened last week. In the building we planted a bomb in.” She is really laughing now. She places her own special mix of smelling salts under the genius’s nose. He wakes up with a start (and a slight snort to be honest).
“Your bickering is so much more adorable now.” Pepper says as Tony comes around.
“Pepper?” He asks. Her face falls and she turns to look at him. “Pepper I had this really weird dream. You told me you were pregnant. That’s crazy right?” Tony looks at her and she looks back for a moment before smacking him and stalking away angrily.
“You are an ass, Tony!” She yells over her shoulder.
“I’ll take the crazy hormonal one.” Natasha calls.
“Have fun with that Tasha.” Clint calls, and then turns back to Tony. “Are. You. Shitting. Me.”
“What did I- shit that wasn’t a dream was it?”
“No dumbass it wasn’t.”
“But… but… we were careful.” Tony defends weakly.
“Not careful enough, dipshit.”
“But-”
“No more buts!” Clint yells, cutting Tony off. Tony opens and closes his mouth a few times, but is silent. “She is pregnant. That is your kid in there. And in nine months it's gonna come out and you have to raise it. You and Pepper. And that kid is half you. So you can’t leave her to raise it on her own because that kid deserves you as a father.” Tony makes a scoffing noise.
“It deserves someone better than me as a father.”
“Tony, you are not your father.” Clint says, opting for a softer tone.
“I know that!” Tony yells. “But I am an Avenger. I’m gone half the time, saving the world. And this kid’s gonna have a target on it’s back from the second it’s born.”
“You are not gone half the time. You are gone maybe one or two days a week on average. And also this kid is gonna have so many Aunts and Uncles that no one can even touch it without getting stabbed, shot, choked, smashed with a hammer, smashed, in general, or even electrocuted. It will be the safest kid to ever exist.”
“True.” Tony says smiling.
“I know. So get excited. You’re having a baby. Or rather, Pepper is having a baby with you. Or something intelligent. Time for some coffee I think.”
Natasha followed Pepper back to her and Tony’s room, walking behind her. Getting down on the floor, she pulled a box from under the bed. Natasha, taking a step closer, looked inside the box. Inside there were two books on pregnancy, a book of names and their meanings, and a book on parenting. There was also a baby onesie that read Smart like my daddy. Natasha smiled, realizing how excited Pepper was for this baby.
“That book is crap.” Pepper turns sharply at the sound.
“Really? The saleslady said it was really good.”
“It’s really expensive. That’s all.” Natasha says, sitting on the bed.
“I assume it was a mission.” Pepper sighs, sitting next the spy, looking at the book in her hands.
“Not really. This was like last week. I read a review of the book and a few excerpts, and if was crap.”
“You’re…?” Pepper asks, looking stunned.
“No, but I’ve been thinking about it and with Clint it's always better to have some information handy before confronting him.” That wasn’t a complete lie, it was always better to have information handy when confronting Clint with something new.
“What would you recommend?” She asks, throwing the book back in the box.
“I have a few you could borrow. Remind me to bring them to the girls night.”
“Will do.” Pepper replies.
“So do you understand why Tony reacted like he did?”
“Most people would say that if was because of his father, but I know better. It’s because he’s an Avenger. It makes him nervous. And it must scare him to think that he could leave a child behind if he dies just like his dad did. And I do understand that I do. But at the same time, it makes me upset that he isn’t as excited as me.” Pepper explains.
“And those are perfectly valid feelings. But they are ones that you should explain to your husband rather than just yelling names and storming off.”
“That makes sense.” Pepper nods.
“So how about you do that. Just go tell him how what he said made you feel, and maybe he’ll do the same. That is one thing that those stupid books always get right, communicating is important.” Natasha says, and hates herself for how ridiculous she sounds.
“I believe you. I guess that means that I need to go talk to Tony.” They both stand. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, you better go before Clint drinks all your coffee.”
“Tony, can I talk to you?” Pepper asks cautiously. Natasha motions with her head towards the door. Clint raises his mug of coffee in response. Natasha just stares at him until he hangs his head and starts for the elevator.
“I guess we’ll leave you to it. If you need anything just scream really loud.” Clint laughs at his own joke and follows Natasha to the elevator. When the doors close, Natasha whacks Clint in the back of the head. “Ow! Tasha what was that for?”
“For not leaving when I told you to. ‘I got to drink my coffee Tasha. It’s not like a already had two cups this morning.’”
“I didn’t. I had three.” Clint smartasses, earning him another smack to the head. The elevator doors open and Natasha walks straight to the kitchen, saying over her shoulder,
“You are a ridiculous human Clint Barton.” Clint just smiles and follows her, sitting on the kitchen island and turning on the radio.
“So did you tell her anything?” Clint asks casually, taking a bite from the apple that he grabbed.
“Sort of.” She said, grabbing some ice cream out of the freezer and two spoons.
“Sort of?”
“She got that really expensive crappy book that you wanted to get but I told that the fact that is was really expensive didn’t necessarily mean that it was a really good book. So I told her that it wasn’t very good, as a conversation starter. She had a whole box with books and a onesie. She is really excited about this kid. Anyway, she asked me if I was pregnant. I told I wasn’t but I was thinking about talking to you about it and that it was better to have information when confronting you with something new. She believed me I think.” Natasha says handing him a spoon.
“That’s good.” Clint smiles, taking the spoon. Natasha sticks her spoon in first and Clint does after.
“Pepper said that she would keep it a secret and she is a pretty good secret keeper. I say we have three months until anyone else knows anything.” Natasha adds, sucking thoughtfully on a lump of ice cream.
“Three months? I think that’s a little optimistic.” Clint adds, hopping off the counter and walking to a cupboard and grabbing both chocolate and caramel sauce and holding them up.
“What would you say, Mr. Know-It-All?” Natasha asks, pointing at the caramel sauce.
“Two months. Two and a half at the most.” Clint says, sitting back down and pouring a mountain of sauce on the ice cream. Natasha laughs under her breath and mixes the sauce in.
“So then I suppose we should get a safe house and leave before then.” She doesn’t really want to. She wants to stay here. But this is to see if Clint really wants to stay. His face instantly pales.
“Yeah I guess.” He says, forcing his voice to sound normal. Natasha shakes her head.
“Or we could stay here. It’s pretty safe. We could just have a safe house nearby just in case, but just live here.” Natasha suggests casually. Clint immediately wraps his arms around her.
“Thank you. Thank you for knowing how to make me realize what I want.” Clint says.
“You’re welcome. It’s kinda my job.” Natasha smiles at Clint and he smiles back. They stand there in comfortable silence. Until Budapest by George Ezra comes on the radio.
“It’s our song! Come dance with me.” Clint begs, leading her by her arm towards the more open space of their living room. Natasha smiles and throws the ice cream back onto the counter and joins him in the living room. They dance to ‘their song’ and many others spending the evening laughing and dancing.