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Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu hesitated for a moment then forced himself to ascend the small number of stairs that led him to Mu Qingfang’s personal study and workshop. It was where his fellow Peak Lord could often be found if not seeing to other duties and where the man’s disciples had directed Shen Qingqiu when asked. The air around the building always smelled herbal (but in the way that you knew would be good for your body but bad for your tastebuds) and Shen Qingqiu avoided visiting when possible as it had a way of clinging to one’s clothes.

But there was no getting around this visit; not if he wanted to have any dignity left after tomorrow’s Peak Lord meeting. Between the sensation of Luo Binghe showing up unannounced (a decade older and his spouse ) several days prior, the news of his disciple Luo Binghe moving out of the bamboo house today, and the “sudden” end to Shen Qingqiu’s poisoning, he was going to need all the face saving techniques available to make it through the all-day meeting.

Shen Qingqiu braced himself before knocking on the door frame and calling out in an even tone, “Mu-shidi? It’s Shen Qingqiu.”

There was a marked pause in sounds coming from inside then a sudden opening of the door in front of him, causing Shen Qingqiu to have to suppress a flinch.

The man had to have flash stepped to the door, which was a bit much.

His young husband had only managed to cure him of a hereto known uncurable poison that the foremost medical expert in their world had been puzzling over for more than a year in less than a day due to a heritage that absolutely no one else can learn about. No biggie.

Oh god, this was going to be awful.

“Shen-shixiong! Please, come in. Is this about Without-A-Cure? Is shixiong feeling unwell? Has he fainted again since our last conversation?”

“Thank you, Mu-shidi,” Shen Qingqiu said demurely, stepping into the building and followed Mu Qingfang’s solicitous movement towards the public sitting area. “This one has thankfully never felt better, though is indeed here to speak to Master Mu of Without-A-Cure.

“More specifically,” he continued, taking a seat at the table and working to keep his expression neutral but not hostile, “this one requests that Master Mu confirm for this one’s record that the poison is cleared from this one’s system entirely.”

Mu Qingfang stared at him. “Begging Shen-shixiong’s pardon, but this shidi must have misheard.”

“To be blunt, Mu-shidi, I’ve been cured and must ask that you state as much officially at the Peak Lord meeting tomorrow. I am willing to share some things with you as my doctor, but trust that you will share my health status tomorrow without details due to the… rather personal nature of the cure.”

Shen Qingqiu hid his face but not completely, allowing a blush to heat his cheeks.

Shen Yuan did not take to subterfuge easily and his face was exceptionally thin. Yet, the only plan he had been able to come up with to avoid people questioning too much into why Luo Binghe was able to cure him was to draw attention to the embarrassing, scandalous details of how he was cured. Even with several additional days to think it over since his initial conception of the plan during a conversation with Liu Qingge, he had yet to think of anything that would work as well as a distraction.

Shang Qinghua hadn’t been able to come up with anything better either in a brainstorming session that Shen Qingqiu would honestly rather forget. Encouragingly, the creator of this messed up world did endorse the theory of the plan, especially with the rumors he was keeping tabs on about Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe that were swirling around the Sect.

(Shen Qingqiu did not consult his disciple, despite the insight that Luo Binghe may have had on the situation. It wasn’t so much a conscious decision, more the fact that neither of them had addressed out loud the fact that both knew Shen Qingqiu had had papapa with an older version of Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu was doing his best to Not Think about the fact that his disciple almost definitely thought he was in love with him and Luo Binghe had stated outright that Shen Qingqiu’s older self had thankfully put him off propositioning him until he was older. If it was something that remained unaddressed indefinitely, Shen Qingqiu would not complain.)

In any case, so much of his plan and Luo Binghe’s safety rested on him acting as embarrassed as possible during this conversation. The self-consciousness and discomfort were coming naturally to him, but he hated showing less than a composed exterior.

Between this, the mountain of grading he had to work through that morning, and the process of watching Luo Binghe’s things be moved out of his home, Shen Qingqiu was having a spectacularly shitty day.

Mu Qingfang was staring at him. Shen Qingqiu looked away and let the silence stand.

Eventually, the other Peak Lord said, “If this Mu Qingfang could please have shixiong’s wrist.”

Shen Qingqiu removed his arm guard and outstretched his hand. He surreptitiously monitored Mu Qingfang’s reactions from the corner of his eye, watching as a frown formed then deepened on the man’s face as steady, cool spiritual energy carefully traced his meridian system.

After several long moments, Mu Qingfang withdrew his energy and released Shen Qingqiu, but didn’t say a word. Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat, “Did shidi find anything amiss?”

“…This one will need to confirm his findings with a blood test, but it appears that shixiong was correct and it no longer ailed by Without-A-Cure. At all. There was no trace of the poison to shixiong’s meridians outside of some damage to his spiritual veins that could be corrected with time and attention.”

Shen Qingqiu started to smile but the now scowl on Mu Qingfang’s face stopped him. “…Is this not good news, Mu-shidi? Shidi’s expression is troubled.”

“There is no trace of the poison in shixiong’s body as far as this one can tell, which is unusual with a poison as persistent and invasive as Without-A-Cure. When exactly was shixiong treated last?”

Fuck . Shen Qingqiu didn’t realize that there might be something to medically indicate something unusual. “…Five days prior.”

“So, when shixiong’s adult disciple was here,” Mu Qingfang said blandly.

Shen Qingqiu pulled is wrist back. “Luo Binghe was no longer my disciple but my husband.” Mu Qingfang looked at him steadily like he was splitting hairs and it was Shen Qingqiu’s turn to scowl. “They are entirely different.”

“What is the manner through which Shen-shixiong was cured?”

Shen Qingqiu looked away from him and said quietly, “Dual cultivation.”

“Impossible. If the answer was so simple then this one would have suggested it as a solution long ago.”

Shen Qingqiu winced and went back to hiding his face. “This one cannot explain why, only that his husband said dual cultivation was the cure and it worked. This one did not question it.”

“…a strange man told shixiong that dual cultivation was the cure to his poisoning and he did not question it?”

“Binghe wasn’t strange to this one and this one had no reason not to believe him.”

He could hear the judgment in the silence that followed. Which, considering all the information he was leaving out? Fair enough.

At length, Mu Qingfang said, “Wait here,” and left the room. He returned less than a minute later with writing materials and a scroll that Shen Qingqiu recognized as one of the many he used to take notes on. “This shidi is going to ask shixiong some questions. Understanding that shixiong is a… private person, they will likely be uncomfortable. However, this one respectfully asks that shixiong answers in full for the purposes of this one’s investigation as things may not be as shixiong thinks.”

“…Will what this one says remain confidential?” Shen Qingqiu asked, voice tentative.

“For the most part, yes. This one must submit a report to Sect Leader Yue on shixiong’s condition, but otherwise Master Shen's information will remain as secure as anyone else’s.”

Shen Qingqiu made a show of frowning down at his fan for a moment, but knew he had no other option. And that last statement was a double-edged sword. This wasn’t modern times and if one was particularly determined to look at someone else’s medical records now, it wouldn’t be that hard to do so, especially if the one curious was another Peak Lord. There was a 70% chance that anything salacious Shen Qingqiu told Mu Qingfang would be leaked after the Peak Lord meeting tomorrow, which was unfortunately exactly what he was counting on.

“This one understands. Mu-shidi may begin asking questions and this Shen Qingqiu will do his best to answer.”

Shen Qingqiu had fucked up.

He needed to find Binghe.

He needed to find Luo Binghe right now .

That was the only thought on Shen Qingqiu’s mind as he flew back to Qing Jing Peak after his conversation with Mu Qingfang. In planning for that interrogation session, Shen Qingqiu had been way too focused on mentally bracing for his own embarrassment and, once again, forgot to think things through on two points.

First, he had mentioned that his disciple knew the cure because he was told by his future self in order to keep things consistent with what he had said to Liu Qingge. It never occurred to him that Mu Qingfang would want to ask Luo Binghe about the cure! But his own unwillingness to even think about his disciple and the topic of papapa meant he forgot that not everyone felt the same aversion as him! It had taken every last ounce of his willpower to not react when Mu Qingfang sent a note out with a disciple to summon Luo Binghe to him in the middle of his questioning.

They hadn’t had time to prepare for this!! He had no clue what Luo Binghe was going to say! Fuck!

Second, because he had mentally separated the two Binghes, it took until a question about Luo Binghe’s… anatomy that had Shen Qingqiu recoiling in refusal to answer for him to realize that whatever leaked would obviously get back to his disciple. But of course it would! Just because they weren’t the same person to him didn’t mean that anyone else would think that way! Besides that, of course Binghe would be impacted by the rumors; they were about “him.”

He had done his best to limit the information given to be solely about him, but he wasn’t able to succeed the entire time and goodness knew what Mu Qingfang was inferring from his silences on certain things that would end up in his file.

In short, Shen Qingqiu was an idiot who needed to do some serious damage control, starting with an overdue conversation with Luo Binghe.

By the time he arrived back at Qing Jing, Luo Binghe had already left to answer the summons.

Shen Qingqiu had an internal freak out about that for a while and had only talked himself down in time for dinner. To his surprise, Luo Binghe came in at his usual time with a smile on his face. “Good evening, Shizun.”

“Binghe!” Shen Qingqiu jumped up and was by the boy’s side before he could blink. “We need to talk.”

Luo Binghe blinked at him in surprise, startled but not bothered by his urgency as Shen Qingqiu closed the door and threw up a sound barrier. “This one is at Shizun’s disposal. This one hopes it was not too presumptuous, but there is an extra set of dishware to allow for this one to speak at length with Shizun over dinner as this one no longer sleeps here to linger late.”

“Of course, of course. Binghe is always welcome to eat with me. And you can stop that; the barrier’s up.”

Luo Binghe beamed at him before he looked away to set up the table for their dinner. “I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask, A-Yuan.” Cute bun , Shen Qingqiu thought before shaking that thought away. “What would A-Yuan like to speak about?”

Shen Qingqiu sighed as he sat at his usual spot at the table, Luo Binghe taking the side adjacent to his own rather than across from him. “Unfortunately, it’s about my visit to Mu Qingfang today.” He looked down and it was like it was his first time actually seeing the food in front of him. “Oh, Binghe! This looks wonderful, not that that’s a surprise; everything you make is delicious.”

“Thank you, but perhaps A-Yuan should try it before giving out compliments so easily,” Luo Binghe said, unable to hide his pleasure at the statement as he put some pork and vegetables into Shen Qingqiu’s bowl.

The first bite didn’t disappoint, the spicy-sweet-savory of the flavors bursting over his tongue in a wave, just the right amount of heat to give it character but not leave him scrambling for the rice. He moaned in appreciation.  “Absolutely perfect, Binghe! You really could open a restaurant with your recipes,” Shen Qingqiu said, missing the way Luo Binghe had started staring at him as he completely forgot about what they were supposed to be talking about and dug in.

Shen Qingqiu paused when he realized Luo Binghe wasn’t eating and took the time to put some of the vegetables and cuts of meat he knew the boy preferred into his bowl. “What is Binghe waiting for? Eat, eat.”

“…Would A-Yuan like to talk later, then?”

“Oh… right.” Shen Qingqiu sighed and took a moment to chase down his last bite with some tea. “Seems a shame to ruin such a meal, but Binghe was right about us having limited time. You should still eat, however; you had a busy day.

“First, how did your move go? Are you settled in?” Shen Qingqiu’s voice became more subdued the more he talked. “No problems, right?”

“Everything is fine, A-Yuan. I will miss sleeping here, but you needn’t worry about me. People still are looking at me strangely, but I doubt that’s going to stop anytime soon.”

Shen Qingqiu sighed. “About that. I’m afraid the staring may get worse after my visit with Mu Qingfang today…

“Binghe, I want to start by apologizing.” Shen Qingqiu shot him a sharp look to stop the immediate protest that came from Luo Binghe’s mouth. “No, I’m serious. I made a plan to talk to Mu Qingfang about my… previous poisoning that did not adequately take into account how it would affect you. In truth, I was too embarrassed to talk to you about it because of… what the cure entailed. You had said that you knew and I didn’t want to push. In an effort to make sure no one looked too far past the surface to land on the fact that you’re not entirely human, I tried to draw attention to myself. My shortsightedness meant that Mu Qingfang summoned you for questioning without warning and that I have no idea how whatever information that leaks evolves to come back to you.

“I was trying to protect you but just ended up leaving you out of a decision that you probably could have helped with and with an outcome that directly impacts you. That’s not okay, and I’m sorry.”

Luo Binghe sighed beside him and a hand grabbed his. “A-Yuan is punishing himself too harshly. Though this Binghe appreciates the apology, I’m not upset. A-Yuan is forgetting that we grew up in different worlds and the actions he took sound perfectly reasonable, if a little too self-sacrificial to me. I will always prefer working with you, especially on something that involves my being a demon, but A-Yuan has no need to apologize.

“In fact, this Binghe is more worried about whatever A-Yuan felt the need to divulge about himself than anything else. What did A-Yuan say?”

Shen Qingqiu flushed, “That’s definitely not appropriate dinner conversation!”

Luo Binghe was still holding his hand. “Would A-Yuan tell this Binghe after dinner, then? He does not have to.”

“I… maybe.” Shen Qingqiu was flustered, torn between not wanting to talk about it with Luo Binghe but not wanting him to hear about it from someone else either. “I am tired and may not feel up to it."

“Okay.” Luo Binghe squeezed his hand one more time than released it. “And A-Yuan need not worry about my conversation with Mu-shishu. It was pretty straightforward.”

“It was?” Shen Qingqiu started eating again, happy to have the air clear between them.

“Yes. He asked what I knew about the cure and, knowing to keep my demonic status a secret, I said that Yuan-ge had told me it required dual cultivation with me. When he asked, why me, I just said that we were fated to be together and that’s why it worked… A-Yuan?”

Shen Qingqiu was lucky he had yet to put his next bite in his mouth because he otherwise would have choked on it. His mind was static at the moment, completely turned to the wrong station to pick up this frequency.

Binghe had told Mu Qingfang what?

“A-Yuan? Was that wrong? I thought it would be something that they would have no way of checking to refute but also be a plausible way to get around why Mu-shishu hadn’t come across the solution before! This Binghe is sorry and–“

Okay, Binghe was freaking out. He needed to pull it together.

Shen Qingqiu put down his chopsticks and reached over to take Luo Binghe’s hand, much closer to him than his head for the go-to head pats. “Binghe was exceptionally clever and did nothing wrong. This Shen Yuan was surprised, that’s all. I didn’t think to lie outright.”

Luo Binghe’s hand, holding his back, suddenly stiffened. “A-Yuan thinks this Binghe lied?”

Shen Qingqiu took in the stricken look on Luo Binghe’s face and thought, oh shit . Sighing, he gently rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb and said, “I don’t know if I can believe in both fate and free will, Binghe. I like to think that we can make our own destiny. Yet, if anyone could make me believe in fate, it’s you; otherwise, this Shen Yuan wouldn’t be here, right?

“Besides,” Shen Qingqiu pulled away from him and focused on his food, “Binghe need not be so quick to bind himself to this old man. He may come across someone better suited for him than me.“

Luo Binghe didn’t respond for a long moment. Realizing what he just said and how revealing that was, Shen Qingqiu laughed awkwardly and said, “Don’t listen to me, Binghe. I’ve had a long day and was feeling maudlin. Eat, eat.”

“Shen Yuan.” Shen Qingqiu startled at the use of his full name and hesitantly looked up at Luo Binghe. The boy was staring at him, face set in determined lines, black eyes piercing and entirely serious, back straight and fists clenched on the table. The expression was not that of a boy, but a man. “You are wrong.”

Luo Binghe then relaxed and picked up his chopsticks again. “What did A-Yuan do today?” he asked, tone normal.

Shen Qingqiu, though feeling wrongfooted, answered and their dinner progressed as usual. Luo Binghe cleaned up, helped him with his hair after his bath, and then left for the evening. He didn’t ask about Shen Qingqiu’s conversation with Mu Qingfang and Shen Qingqiu, thoroughly at his limit, didn’t offer.

Luo Binghe did shyly ask for a hug before he left. Softhearted, Shen Qingqiu allowed it and personally took an inordinate amount of comfort from the short embrace. The hug did wonders to soothe some lingering anxiety, but it didn’t rid him of feeling slightly unsettled. Something had shifted that evening, an awareness that he didn’t feel ready to acknowledge.

Sixteen was far from an adult, but maybe his disciple wasn’t a child anymore, either.

Oh, dear.

His last thought before sleep was something about being in trouble, but he slipped into darkness before it could fully register.

Liu Qingge had spent an exhausting few days thinking. 

It wasn’t like he never thought about issues, but his life had often fallen into very neat categories that often didn’t require him to think about. He hunted, he fought, he defended the Sect, he tried to be an example to the miscreants who called him Shizun.

And, silently, he admired Shen Qingqiu.

He never thought it would have been possible back when they had both been disciples. Yes, the man had fought well, especially for a scholar, but his attitude and cunning nature had left a sour taste in Liu Qingge’s mouth. But since the Lingxi caves…

Liu Qingge’s first interaction with the newly amnesiatic man was him saving his life, and then not lording it over him as expected. In fact, in the years since the incident, Shen Qingqiu had not uttered one word about the debt Liu Qingge owed him, almost as if it was nothing to him.

It was everything to Liu Qingge, and had left him curious about his shixiong while he recovered from his qi deviation. The next time he had seen Shen Qingqiu after the caves was when he was all but foolishly sacrificing his life for his disciple despite being fatally poisoned.

He had done his best to save the Sect from a demonic invasion, had successfully stalled an entire army without another master to support him, and acted as if it was a matter of course!

He had watched Shen Qingqiu pass out and had carried him to Mu Qingfang, but his mind had latched onto the puzzle that was the man in his arms. Was losing his memories really all it took for him to become such an honorable and caring person? Wasn’t he raised a spoiled snob rather than facing any hardship that would drive someone to such hatred and disdain for others?

Liu Qingge did not know, and the question plagued him. He volunteered to help him with Without-A-Cure’s treatment, seeing it as a small way to repay the man for his life and an opportunity to learn more about him, puzzle him out. 

The problem was that the more he saw, the more he liked. 

Shen Qingqiu was undoubtedly extremely intelligent, but he tended to be forgetful when comfortable, his face nowhere near as cold once he lowered his fan while speaking with him. He had an interest in the demons Liu Qingge fought and tended well to his students. Liu Qingge didn’t initially know what to think of him taking on a personal disciple, but it was obvious that Luo Binghe did not have anywhere else he would rather be than at Shen Qingqiu’s side, and that he resented any person who stole his attention.

Especially Liu Qingge. 

Shen Qingqiu outright doted on the boy, truly oblivious to his “innocent” disciple’s intent towards him. The way the teenager looked at his Shizun when he wasn’t looking back was a mixture of worshipful and downright disrespectful that made something turn in Liu Qingge’s gut. It drove him to take odd actions, like bringing Shen Qingqiu beasts that he had slain, or lingering around Qing JIng more, or inviting Shen Qingqiu over to visit him. Shen Qingqiu never acknowledged what their increase in interactions could mean , but he also never turned him away. 

It shouldn’t have been that surprising when he found out the man kissing Shen Qingqiu in his bedroom was an adult Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu defended the man with the same fervor that he doted on his disciple, adamant that he had no reason to distrust the man despite him knowing years worth of information to attempt to manipulate Shen Qingqiu with. 

And the way that Luo Binghe looked at Shen Qingqiu, the way he talked about their relationship, touched him shamelessly… Lustful, certainly. Possessive and inappropriate. Devoted to the point of obsessiveness.

And extremely telling in how Shen Qingqiu only put up token protests to such behavior. 

It left him concerned at how easily he gave into the other man. Concerned and deeply confused. 

How was Luo Binghe able to defeat him so easily? He had been only twenty-seven. At sixteen, he was perhaps as good as Liu Qingge at that age, which was impressive considering the wide range of topics Qing Jing Peak studied outside of combat and the time he dedicated to acting as Shen Qingqiu’s handmaid. And why would Liu Qingge have fought him every day over Shen Qingqiu? Something wasn’t right.

How had they gotten together? Liu Qingge highly doubted that the Luo Binghe of this world would willingly wait another nine years for him and Shen Qingqiu to begin courting, especially not after visiting the other world where they were already married. What could have delayed—

Shen Qingqiu had died for the Sect in the other world. And Luo Binghe had found a way to revive him.

Liu Qingge wondered if his other self felt guilty for whatever had happened and had thrown himself at Luo Binghe. Considering that he couldn’t think of anything else that could spur him to fighting someone else every day (and presumably losing as they had gone on for years), he feared that was the case.

That had Liu Qingge thinking hard about many things. He would only feel guilt over Shen Qingqiu’s death if he had somehow felt responsible for it. And the thought of failing to save his shixiong after he had saved him, after years of getting closer to him, was unbearable.

It was unacceptable.

And Liu Qingge had to change that. 

He had gone to pledge Shen Qingqiu his support in whatever he needed, wanting to ensure that he would be in a position to save him when he needed him, when the adult Luo Binghe had intercepted him, irate. It pained Liu Qingge to admit it, but he was righteously angry about how people were speaking about Shen Qingqiu. Liu Qingge couldn’t help feeling the same upon hearing the news and then seeing how Shen Qingqiu had just assumed he believed the worst of him alone with everyone else. 

Liu Qingge knew then that he had to help him, no matter the cost, because he would not help himself and the man he apparently would grow to love was still a boy. 

There were a couple of ways he considered going about this in the days since Shen Qingqiu revealed his poisoning had been cured with dual cultivation.

One: he could let things run their course, and be a steady presence at Shen Qingqiu’s side in order to best aid and protect him. In this scenario, he would not let his personal… attachment to Shen Qingqiu distract him from the far more important duty of protecting him. Perhaps it was the coward’s way out as Luo Binghe said, but there were things more important than his feelings. If Shen Qingqiu could prevent a plague in an afternoon, saving hundreds of lives, then he had no sense of just what else he was preventing beyond it being so much larger than that. 

And supporting his work, taking care of him when he inevitably forgot to take care of himself, was worth stepping aside and not interfering with the love he had seen between Shen Qingqiu and an adult Luo Binghe. 

Two: he could stop using Shen Qingqiu’s obliviousness as an excuse and outright court him as he had been idly contemplating with no sense of urgency for months. That risked isolating Shen Qingqiu and perhaps him seeing it as a deliberate move to prevent his later relationship. To be sure, he wanted Shen Qingqiu to himself, but Luo Binghe was part of his life and didn’t seem inclined to go away anytime soon, despite Yue Qingyuan’s successful bid to remove him from the bamboo house. 

Which, wow. Liu Qingge was no master strategist, but he knew that forcibly separating Shen Qingqiu from his disciple was not the way to go about things. Thinking back on the sight of Shen Qingqiu held by the other Luo Binghe, the sounds of them kissing, Liu Qingge understood the jealous urge behind the order. But removing Luo Binghe from their home seemed like the fastest way to get Shen Qingqiu to hate someone.

Liu Qingge did a lot of shit he didn’t think through, but even he knew that move was incredibly reckless.

The point was that Liu Qingge could seriously pursue Shen Qingqiu, attempting to marry him well before Luo Binghe finished growing into someone who could easily beat him in combat. He bet that Shen Qingqiu would be willing to listen to his husband more than his friend, and he would be better able to ensure his protection if they were together.

Three: he could accept Luo Binghe’s position in his life and heart and be content to always be second place. To devoting himself wholly to someone who already deeply loved another, even if not yet in a carnal way. It was difficult to even think, but you could not lose a fight you never fought.

And fighting didn’t seem to have worked for his counterpart in the other world. But that Liu Qingge did not know what he did; he knew that it would be a strategic retreat rather than a surrender. Luo Binghe took too much sadistic pleasure in flaunting his closeness to Shen Qingqiu, in that he was the only one to ever be given a chance to win Shen Qingqiu’s hand.

There was also the issue of Shen Qingqiu’s admission that he was working with demons, but he wanted to figure out what he was doing before considering that. His mind was already so lost with his current dilemma that adding more variables wouldn’t help.

So Liu Qingge could do what he always did and fight for first place in Shen Qingqiu’s life, or he could try something new. He could step aside or aim for second place. 

He was resistant to the feeling of giving up and unfortunately had not come to a decision by the time the monthly staff meeting was scheduled. He kept an eye out for Shen Qingqiu arriving and was relieved to see him walk in with his expression frostier than normal. If Mu Qingfang didn’t hold him on Qian Cao Peak, assuming the man actually visited him, then he was likely okay. 

He never knew with Qingqiu. It was certainly worth double checking before doing anything else. 

He approached him quickly, barely giving him a moment to settle in. “Shen Qingqiu.”

Shen Qingqiu blinked his dark, dark eyes and then looked up at Liu Qingge. He seemed to come to life as his expression visibly warmed, that simple gesture causing Liu Qingge to blush. 

…how was he supposed to boldly pursue the man if he got flustered over a look?

“Liu Qingge. I’m sorry, I was lost in thought. Did you say something?”

“Not yet. Just wanted to check… I wanted to see if you had had a chance to visit Mu Qingfang?”

“Yes, I remember your ultimatum, Liu Qingge,” Shen Qingqiu said, voice flat enough to indicate displeasure.

“That’s not why–“

“I’m teasing you; I know you’re just concerned,” Shen Qingqiu said, mouth starting to smile. Liu Qingge did his best to not look away from him. He rolled his eyes slightly as he continued, ““And yes, I’ve spoken with Mu-shidi. As I suspected, I’m fine. No irreversible damage or anything.”

“Good. That’s good to hear,” he responded, relaxing as Shen Qingqiu’s health was confirmed. So he really was cured. He was no longer constantly on the brink of death.

And it was because of Luo Binghe. 

“We have a few minutes before the meeting starts, I think. Why don’t you sit, and we can catch up?” Shen Qingqiu invited, small smile widening. Liu Qingge’s heart jumped at the words, but Yue Qingyuan chose that moment to call the meeting to order. 

Shen Qingqiu’s smile remained, but his eyes went cold. He was so much easier to read now than before his qi deviation, but it often felt like Liu Qingge didn’t have the context to understand him fully, like one of those poems Qing Jing studied. 

The thing was, unlike literature and petty squabbles of scholars long dead, he actually cared to learn more about Shen Qingqiu.

“Of course, if now doesn’t work Liu Qingge is always welcome to visit Qing Jing Peak at another time.”

Liu Qingge frowned at him, detecting that he was missing something but clueless as to what. Still, he didn’t want any part of their relationship to be so formal and he said, “No need to set up a meeting. I can just talk to you later.”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Works for me,” while still distracted by something. Liu Qingge went back to his seat.

He paid minimal attention to most of these meetings as most of it didn’t concern him or was urgent even if it did. He didn’t even bother looking at the agenda, knowing things would happen regardless of whether he knew about them or not. 

Suddenly. Liu Qingge heard Shen Qingqiu say, “This Qingqiu has an objection.”

He looked up and saw Shen Qingqiu glaring at a neutral-faced Yue Qingyuan. “Yes, shidi?”

“This shidi objects to the section reserved for this one talking about information regarding a future that may or may not come to pass. As this one plans to share nothing, this one suggests reallocating that time to something productive or perhaps using that time as a recess if we truly insist on being here all day.”

There was a moment of stunned silence when Qi Qingqi interjected, “Peak Lord Shen cannot be serious.”

“This one is entirely serious, Qi-shimei. Sharing that knowledge would serve no constructive purpose and would likely hinder the work this one has begun to change events.”

Liu Qingge knew immediately that this would not help his shixiong. He understood what exactly was happening and would not question the man’s decisions, but he knew that his marital siblings would not feel the same way.

This was immediately confirmed when swordmaster Wei Qingwei all but shouted, “No constructive purpose! Shen Qingqiu, are you really so arrogant as to think you know best about everything? To think that only you should hold this knowledge of the future.”

Shen Qingqiu stared straight ahead with an arrogant expression that Liu Qingge had always judged him harshly for in the past. Now, he saw how it was a mask, a clumsy attempt to keep people from investigating him further.

Just how much had Liu Qingge misjudged Shen Qingqiu in the past on the basis of that misunderstanding alone?

“No,” Shen Qingqiu said, imperious and condescending. “But this one knows that what came to pass in this master’s husband’s timeline must be avoided to save lives. The fewer variables, the more likely this one's knowledge remains relevant. If this one deviates too much from that timeline, then the knowledge becomes useless. Or did shidi not think as to what effect other’s actions may have on the future? Qing Jing Peak is that of scholarship and strategy; let this Peak Lord do his job.”

Before he knew what he did, before that conversation with the other Luo Binghe, Liu Qingge would have gotten angry at Shen Qingqiu’s words despite their closer relationship now. The man was somehow as infuriating now as he was charming, and Liu Qingge figured now was as good a time as any to begin helping him out.

Over the (understandable) uproar Shen Qingqiu’s words caused, Liu Qingge said, “Shixiong, you should tell them.”

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widened slightly at the causal address but then his expression quickly went back to cold and standoffish as he assessed Liu Qingge. “Tell them what, exactly, shidi?”

So suspicious. Then again, did he not have reason to be? Liu Qingge knew he would need to prove he was worthy of Shen Qingqiu’s trust no matter how much it pained him that it was not already a given after what they had been through. Nonetheless, he said, trying to be uncharacteristically diplomatic (to the point that his teeth ached a little with it), “What you told me. Or, at least, what Luo Binghe told me.”

“To what end?”

Shen Qingqiu, do you not see that they need to be told something to give you peace?! “I understand why you won’t say anything, but that’s because you explained it to me. They don’t know the stakes, what you’ve already done. They’ll back off if they know.”

He didn’t look convinced and Liu Qingge was starting to get flustered from his sustained attention. When Shen Qingqiu was focused on you, you felt it. “I think you underestimate others' curiosity, my friend. But I trust you’ll be careful in your words... Say what you think is necessary, then.”

He waved his fan in an elegant, dismissive notion, and Liu Qingge held on to his seriousness in the hopes that it kept him from blushing. Did Shen Qingqiu always have to be… like that?!

Liu Qingge raised his voice to deliberately address the room and said, “Shen Qingqiu in the other timeline died to save the Sect.” Several people sucked in shocked breaths. “The Luo Binghe from the future told me this directly. I don’t know through what means he was resurrected, but he managed to do so at great personal cost. And, when Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe left the Sect the day of the incident, they had taken steps to prevent a plague that would have killed thousands of civilians.

“Shen Qingqiu would not have shared this with me if Luo Binghe had not done so already. When I asked about it, he said that he feared being blamed for failing to prevent something despite his best efforts. He feared failing to save lives that would be lost due to his inaction. His silence is not arrogance, but he is willing to sacrifice much to not see his work hindered, including your valuations of him and his own life.

“I second his objection and ask that the agenda item be removed in favor of more productive conversations.”

It felt like a lot of words and Liu Qingge’s heart was beating quickly in his chest from the effort, but this was his first real chance to show Shen Qingqiu he was on his side; it was worth a little discomfort. His gambit paid off as Shen Qingqiu nodded and smiled at him a bit, visibly relaxing in his seat.

Even the small acknowledgement was enough to fill Liu Qingge’s chest with warmth. …he really was in a state over the man wasn’t he?

After a pause of silence in the room in which Shen Qingqiu picked up his tea cup, Wei Qingwei said with a snarl, “So, you’re fucking him, too?”

Liu Qingge’s entire body locked up as Shen Qingqiu all but shattered the cup and fan he was holding at the accusation. “Excuse me?” The Qing Jing Peak Lord hissed, livid.

Wei Qingwei, with his characteristic irreverence, scoffed and said, “Oh, come on. Were we really not going to talk about the fact that you’ve been living with a disciple who apparently grew up to be your husband? For over a year? And now Bai Zhan is jumping to your defense? Your disciple moved out so you’ve moved on to an actual adult–“

Liu Qingge had Cheng Luan at his neck before he knew it. There was so much wrong with Wei Qingwei’s statement, and the worst part was that Shen Qingqiu had thought that Liu Qingge would agree with him only a few days ago. 

Shen Qingqiu thought he would assume the worst of him now, despite their months of friendship and Liu Qingge owing him his life.

It was then that Liu Qingge decided that he could not stand idly by and let things happen without his interference. He could not let Shen Qingqiu ever doubt again that he was on his side, that he would ever say or think such disrespectful things about him. 

Angry, he said to Wei Qingwei, “You dare impugn our honor? You baselessly accuse him of abusing his disciple and me of lying simply because I’m attached to him?”

“Baseless?” Wei Qingwei snorted. “He’s lived with him since he was fourteen! And you admit to your biases!”

“It is because I know Shen Qingqiu well that I say beyond a shadow of doubt that he would never hurt any of his disciples, and especially not Luo Binghe! You speak of things you do not understand!”

Someone cleared their throat behind him and Liu Qingge stepped to the side to look back at Shen Qingqiu. Mu Qingfang was sitting beside him, steadily working to heal his hands, but both men were looking at Liu Qingge with surprise. Mu Qingfang said, “Peak Lord Liu is correct and Peak Lord Wei is gravely mistaken about Peak Lord Shen’s character.  I say this not as Shen Qingqiu’s colleague but has his doctor.

“Part of this one’s announcements for the day were going to be confirming that Shen Qingqiu’s Without-A-Cure poisoning had been, in fact, cured. This shidi was of course pleased to see a sudden change in shixiong’s health for the better but was concerned about the unknown cure. This shidi’s investigation came across a few conclusions that are relevant to the accusations lobbied against Peak Lord Shen and are currently being shared with Peak Lord Shen’s reluctant permission.

“First, there is a not insignificant possibility that, prior to Luo Binghe’s time traveling incident six days ago, Shen Qingqiu was a virgin.”

“Bullshit!” Wei Qingwei said and Liu Qingge had to focus to keep Cheng Luan steady because what? He stared at an increasingly (and prettily) flushed Shen Qingqiu, barefaced without his fan, and internally reeled at the information. In addition to Shen Qingqiu’s arrogance before his qi deviation, Liu Qingge had found his habit of shamelessly visiting boudoirs distasteful and unbecoming of their positions. Had he been wrong about that, too?

Yue Qingyuan called the meeting to order, telling Liu Qingge to lower his sword, he did so, never taking his eyes off of Shen Qingqiu who seemed to be doing his best to ignore everyone.

Mu Qingfang started again.

“As Wei-shidi said, Shen Qingqiu prior to his qi deviation 19 months ago was known to visit brothels throughout the city. This shidi investigated his previous habits–“ Shen Qingqiu turned and stared at him because what – “and found that all those who remembered him only spoke of his kindness and his refusal to accept carnal services. It seems that Shen-shixiong went there for information gathering and, at times, to sleep, treating all those working there with the utmost respect.”

Liu Qingge couldn’t stop staring. Shen Qingqiu didn’t react to anything as such intimate personal details were discussed, seemingly oblivious even to the work their Sect doctor was doing with his hands despite the pain he had to be in.

“This investigation,” Mu Qingfang said after a beat, almost as if to make sure his words sunk in fully, “paired with some of the more personal details shared by Peak Lord Shen that this one will not share, leads this one to conclude that it is unlikely Peak Lord Shen had had consensual intimate relations since entering the Cang Qiong Sect as a disciple. There is a possibility that such relations were never had. In any case, to Peak Lord Shen’s memory, he was a virgin.

“This conclusion directly refutes any assumption that Peak Lord Shen had been intimate with any disciple, let alone Luo Binghe despite their cohabitation.”

Yue Qingyuan added, “Additionally, the adult Luo Binghe said that Shen Qingqiu refused his courtship until the other was 25 years old. When this shixiong spoke to Qingqiu-shidi about disciple Luo’s moving, he was greatly insulted by the idea he would abuse his position over him to be physically intimate with the teenager.”

Despite the supportive statement, Shen Qingqiu seemed annoyed by Yue Qingyuan’s interjection and he realized somewhat belatedly that he truly was angry with their Sect Leader over Luo Binghe’s removal. Shen Qingqiu had not been vindictive for a long time now, but it seemed Yue Qingyuan was threatening to bring out that side of him once more. 

But now, things were different. Now, Shen Qingqiu was not alone.

“You, and everyone who thought otherwise and spread information to that effect, owe him an apology,” he said, glaring at Wei Qingwei. “Shen Qingqiu would never harm his disciples after his qi deviation but would have borne the brunt of your judgment anyway. I do not know what all he has set out to do, but I do know that he deserves the chance to prove through actions rather than words you won’t believe that he is doing what he can to make things better.”

Shen Qingqiu was staring at him now, eyes wide and mild shock on his face. Yue Qingyuan cleared his throat and said, “Liu-shidi, this master is surprised at such an impassioned defense of Shen-shidi. Considering your previous relationship, it’s most unexpected.”

“Things change,” he said bluntly before finally sheathing Cheng Luan and going to sit down. “Mu-shixiong, you had other things to say?”

“Uh, yes.The second point I wanted to share. Without-A-Cure was directly and entirely cured by dual cultivation with an adult Luo Binghe, despite all sources saying that dual cultivation would not work.

“This aspect remains a mystery. Both Shen Qingqiu and disciple Luo Binghe were told by their alternate counterparts that the cure was dual cultivation, though disciple Luo provided a stated reason as to why it could only work with him as opposed to Shen Qingqiu’s theories.

“Peak Lord Shen’s theories were based on experiences: his emotions involved, the marital relationship they mutually acknowledged, and his own comparative innocence in the realm of carnal activities. Disciple Luo’s reasoning was that he and Peak Lord Shen are tied by the red string of fate and that is why dual cultivation with him alone could have cured Peak Lord Shen.”

Tied by fate? They’re soulmates?

Liu Qingge stared at a now furiously blushing Shen Qingqiu. Even with the suggestion of their soulbond being solely from Luo Binghe, Liu Qingge could not ignore the sense it made or the fact that Shen Qingqiu already had a deep emotional tie. Luo Binghe was young, but he would not be for much longer.

Was he willing to fight fate, Luo Binghe, and Shen Qingqiu himself for the privilege of being the only person who held Shen Qingqiu’s heart?

As Shen Qingqiu effectively made his argument for people to leave him alone and that his and his disciple’s relationship was currently none of their business, Liu Qingge watched the man’s fierce resolve and decided that no, he was not willing to fight that losing battle. He did not know what the future held or what had happened in the other timeline, but he knew that he wanted to be by Shen Qingqiu’s side, welcomed as close as possible to him. 

And that meant he had to become okay with a lot of things very quickly, because Shen Qingqiu was neither going to ever let Luo Binghe go nor stop from doing what he thought was necessary. Even though it involved working with demons.

Silently, as the Peak Lord meeting continued around him, Liu Qingge made his choice and hoped it was one he could live with.

Shen Yuan had had a trying day, to say the least.

He had done his best to ignore the stares and whispers from his fellow Peak Lords that kept turning to him despite the packed if tedious agenda for the day’s meeting. Then again, their attention may have repeatedly strayed back to him precisely because the meeting was so dull that they felt the need for a distraction and not everyone was as blessed as he to be able to secretly message a friend. It certainly didn’t help that the most interesting and scandalous part of the day happened first thing in the morning, giving people all day to ruminate on the revelations surrounding Shen Qingqiu.

His lack of interest in the working women (and men) in the brothels and apparent virginity.

A virginity that was lost after dual cultivation with a grown disciple.

A disciple that he had previously lived with and admittedly had feelings for.

Feelings that may or may not be connected to the fact he and Luo Binghe may be fated lovers.

Fated lovers who had somehow earned the ire of the Sect Leader who had rather publicly gone out of his way to separate them.

And that was before you threw Liu Qingge and his open support of Shen Qingqiu into the mix.

Which… was actually the most shocking thing of the day. Liu Qingge had been his friend for a while, but he never expected that level of devotion. He ended up hovering on the edge of his vision for most of the evening, Shen Qingqiu suddenly aware of the man in a way he hadn’t been before and it unsettled him. 

Shang Qinghua, with whom he was now able to communicate using the System’s direct messenger, was adamant that it had to do with LIu Qingge liking him. But that was silly! Liu Qingge wasn’t gay and certainly not interested in him! He was just very loyal and felt bad for him being under so much scrutiny!

His fellow transmigrator had given him a look and Shen Qingqiu decided to ignore it as much as he could. Things were confusing enough as it was, okay!? He had just had his sexual history put on trial by his colleagues, was dealing with going from having a fully-grown husband to losing his beloved disciple in his home, and had to, you know, save the world and stuff!

There was a lot on his plate! And he hated being confused, especially when it came to emotional stuff!! It was all too much!!! 

With everything combined, dinner had been unbearable without chemical assistance, and, despite his known low tolerance, Shen Qingqiu had turned to the free-flowing wine for help in maintaining his composure.

It had probably kept him from decking Wei Qingwei, which would have been out of character and caused even more fuss around everything. The last thing this disaster needed was more fuel to the fire. There would be more than enough of that once Mu Qingfang’s notes from his visit the day before leaked.

The end result of all this was Shen Qingqiu stumbling up the steps to the bamboo house, feeling unsteady in more ways than one after fleeing from the dinner a bit earlier than socially acceptable. To his surprise, the candles were already lit and the door was opening before he could touch it.

“Shizun?” Luo Binghe greeted him, big eyes blinking in concern at him like the white lotus he was, waiting to welcome him home like Shen Qingqiu half expected to never happen again. “Is Shizun all right?”

Not Shizun , he wanted to say automatically, but the words stuck in his throat. He was his Shizun, his teacher. This Luo Binghe wasn’t his husband and likely would never be. He was sixteen; it would be wrong to rely on him like he had his counterpart.

But goddamn, Shen Qingqiu needed a hug.

“W-what’s Binghe doing here so late?” Shen Qingqiu asked, voice rough with repressed emotion and swallowed words.

“…This Binghe knew that Shizun would likely be tired after his meeting and dinner and wanted to make himself available to assist Shizun however needed.” Luo Binghe said slowly, looking Shen Qingqiu over critically. Shen Qingqiu felt fragile, exposed, and so very lacking. He flinched when Luo Binghe’s gaze lingered on his shaking hands and hid them behind his sleeves. “If Shizun would come inside? This disciple can prepare some tea for him.”

Tea. He could do tea. Shen Qingqiu nodded and moved inside the house. When Luo Binghe closed the door behind him, he automatically put up a sound barrier out of habit for when they were alone in the bamboo house now.

Luo Binghe must have felt the change in air pressure or something because he stepped closer after Shen Qingqiu removed his shoes and walked the smallest of ways into the dwelling. “A-Yuan,” he started, voice low and soothing. “What wrong? Please, let this Binghe help.”

A-Yuan? What’s wrong? An older Luo Binghe had asked him, days ago. Husband, please. Let me help you. Let me take care of you .

Shen Qingqiu froze in his tracks, hand coming to his mouth to stifle the sudden sob that escaped his chest, loss and intense longing stabbing through him. Luo Binghe was in front of him in a heartbeat, hands holding him up and eyes frantically scanning his face.

Shen Qingqiu felt like the worst kind of scum for being weak enough to lean on his disciple like this, but there was nothing for it now. Luo Binghe was Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu could never turn him away.

“Binghe? Could I… Could I hug you?”

“Of course.” Luo Binghe was already opening his arms to him as he said the words and Shen Qingqiu didn’t quite fall into him, but it was a near thing. His knees collapsed but Binghe caught him, holding him close as Shen Qingqiu ended up sitting on his heels with Luo Binghe kneeing upright before him, face buried into a wide but still lean shoulder.

Luo Binghe leaned back a little and Shen Qingqiu made an embarrassing sound of protest only to calm when pressure from his hair suddenly eased as Luo Binghe removed the ornamentation from it. His hair now free, Shen Qingqiu asked weakly, “Could Binghe hug me, too?”

Luo Binghe’s arms came around his shoulders and held him tight. “For as long as A-Yuan wants. I’m here. I’m here.”

Shen Qingqiu snuggled closer, breathing in his familiar scent as a hand stroked his hair, and the pain in his chest dulled to something manageable.

They stayed like that for a long while, Luo Binghe murmuring quiet assurances that he was there, that he wasn’t alone, that he was happy to be able to support him. After some time, Shen Qingqiu exhaled and so much of the tension that he held melted away.

There was a light pressure on his head, almost as if Luo Binghe had kissed him, when his disciple said quietly, “That’s it, A-Yuan. You’re okay, you’re safe. Your Binghe has you.”

A tremor rocked through him and Shen Qingqiu had to fight tears as he thought, but you’re not my Binghe. Not yet, maybe not ever.

He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be curled into his disciple like this, crying because Luo Binghe would probably never love him the way he wanted. He didn’t want the taste of another life the other had given him but this Binghe, who smiled at him and cooked for him and greeted him when he came home.

The one who now all of Cang Qiong knew he had feelings for.

Oh, God, but he had to tell him. He had to tell him what he had said to Mu Qingfang tonight, before he could hear his confessions, somehow twisted by someone else.

But how could he? How could he bear for him to know how he felt when he was Luo Binghe, protagonist of this fucked up harem novel he had started reading as a teenager, number one eligible bachelor desired by so many and he was just… Shen Yuan?

But maybe that was a personal problem. It was his job to make sure Luo Binghe grew into his potential, to ensure he was kept safe and well trained before going into the Endless Abyss, after which he would emerge a demon lord. What he decided on then wasn’t Shen Qingqiu’s business now, and he couldn’t think like that.

He should just enjoy what he had while he had it. And what he had right now was a disciple that cared far too much about him for him to be acting this foolish.

Shen Qingqiu squeezed Luo Binghe one last time and pulled away. Eyes down, he said, “Thank you, Binghe. This one apologizes for his unseemly behavior.”

“A-Yuan.” Luo Binghe’s tone was serious again and Shen Qingqiu was startled by the hand gently but firmly guiding his face up until he met those fathomless black eyes. It was the same expression that had startled him the night before, though his mouth softened as a thumb brushed away some rogue tears. “Never apologize for your feelings to me. A-Yuan need only be himself around me and I would take all of him as he is. You spend so much of your time taking care of me; allow me to return the favor.”

Shen Qingqiu felt adrift in that gaze. “I’m Binghe’s Shizun. It’s my job to take care of you.”

Luo Binghe looked at him for a long moment. “Does A-Yuan only care about me because he is supposed to?”

“No! Of course not!”

“I didn’t think so,” Luo Binghe said lowly. His hands came to either side of his face, cradling it like it was something precious, like Shen Yuan was precious.

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes were wide, and his lips parted unconsciously. Something darkened in Luo Binghe’s face that made his heart stutter before it disappeared, and his expression relaxed to one of familiar, near-innocent fondness. Luo Binghe lowered his head until their foreheads alone touched.

“Let this disciple take care of his Shizun, A-Yuan. Please.”

Shen Qingqiu unthinkingly raised his hands to cover Luo Binghe’s own and said, “Okay.”

A short while later found Shen Qingqiu gathering his thoughts as he finished a warm bath. He was feeling a little better after the hug and Luo Binghe’s vehement, repeated assurances that he was more than happy to support him when he needed it. It helped to wash the day off and he couldn’t help thinking that he had overreacted to the situation. He had expected something similar to happen, even if he never imagined just how bad the situation would be to experience.

Still, there was no need for him to have worried Binghe and the boy’s concern was as clear as his care. Shen Qingqiu found himself smiling slightly at the memory of his disciple’s fussing, warmth sufficing his chest as he dried himself and dressed. He really didn’t deserve his sweet bun and felt he owed him some explanation of what just happened, in addition to telling him what he had told Mu Qingfang.

Shen Qingqiu was still apprehensive about that conversation, but some part of him was reassured by Luo Binghe’s behavior over the past week and that evening in particular. Despite his own concerns with his age, Luo Binghe was acting more collected than Shen Qingqiu could have hoped in the face of everything that had happened. He could probably trust him to act just as mature in this conversation as well and it was his own thin face that kept him from having a frank discussion about… things.

The boy was still far from grown, but he deserved better than Shen Qingqiu going over his head and treating him like a child. If he was mature enough to support Shen Qingqiu like he had, then he was mature enough for this talk.

Or at least… an edited version of it. There was no need or desire for him to get specific about certain activities.

When Shen Qingqiu emerged from the bathing chamber, Luo Binghe was in his bedroom, pouring a cup of what smelled like his preferred blend of calming tea on the vanity. He looked up and asked, “Is A-Yuan feeling any better?”

“Yes, thank you, Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu approached him and pat his head, some other unknown tension in him melting when he leaned into the touch. Sticky , he thought fondly. “For everything.”

“Thank you for allowing me to help you,” he said shyly as he put the teapot down and reached for a comb. “If you would please continue to indulge me, I would help with your hair.”

Shen Qingqiu huffed in amusement and turned towards the bronze mirror to allow Binghe to begin. He picked up the cup, enjoying the warmth seeping through his hands, and asked, “Why does Binghe enjoy doing my hair? I find the task tiresome.”

Luo Binghe paused. “Tiresome? Is A-Yuan not used to taking care of his hair himself?”

“No, I did. It’s just, where I am from, its more common for men to have short hair. Perhaps the longest mine ever got was to my shoulders when I was a small child, but nothing like this. And you didn’t answer my question.”

Luo Binghe remained still for a moment longer and Shen Qingqiu almost turned around to look at him directly, but he eventually resumed the methodical movements of his hand and said, “I was only surprised. I like doing A-Yuan’s hair because it’s a way he relies on this Binghe and no other. He trusts me to see him undone the way he trusts no one else.

“This Binghe was very happy when A-Yuan first asked for his assistance, because Shizun has never asked for aid in preparing for the day and this Binghe took it as a sign that they were close. Now that this Binghe no longer lives here, he looks forward to doing this for A-Yuan as often as he allows.”

Shen Qingqiu frowned at his slip into more formal language and puzzled over it for a moment before dismissing the concern. “I didn’t think of it like that, but you’re right and I would probably only ever ask Binghe to help me with this.”

Luo Binghe drew in a sharp breath and paused before saying, “Hearing that makes this Binghe so happy. This Binghe would only ever want to help A-Yuan.”

Shen Qingqiu frowned in confusion. “Really? Are you sure—”

“ Only A-Yuan .”

“Um, okay. Thanks. Anyway, speaking of trust, I feel like I owe you a bit of an explanation about what happened.”

“A-Yuan shouldn’t feel he owes this Binghe anything.”

“Well then, I want to explain, Binghe. It involves you too, in any case, since it goes back to what I told Mu Qingfang yesterday. I don’t want Binghe to be unprepared for the rumors or believe something false. There is… unfortunately a lot that could be twisted in malicious ways.” Shen Qingqiu’s voice faded out as his eyes lowered and his cheeks heated. This was another hard but necessary conversation and he was really getting tired of those.

But, despite what Luo Binghe said, he deserved to know and Shen Qingqiu did in fact owe it to him.

“This one will listen to anything A-Yuan has to say,” Luo Binghe replied, voice even and probably meant to be reassuring. His hands were steady as they worked through sections of his hair, progress steady and grounding.

Right. Well, where to begin?

“The. The reason I was upset today was that many Peak Lords spent a lot of time today gossiping about this master. Specifically, t-the news of my poisoning being cured and the fact that, prior to that, I was. Entirely inexperienced.”

Luo Binghe’s hands tightened on his hair briefly before relaxing and resuming their movements.

Shen Qingqiu was looking at his hands, tea now resting on the vanity once more, unsipped.

Quietly, voice just above a whisper, he continued. “Additionally, Mu-shidi said that he did not know why my cure was effective but told everyone our differing accounts. How Binghe had suggested we are tied by fate, and how I. How I said it was special to me.”

“Special?” Luo Binghe prompted quietly, and Shen Qingqiu flinched.

“B-because it was my first time and that I acknowledged him as my husband. And how.” Shen Qingqiu gripped his robes tightly and barely managed to get out, “How I feel about Luo Binghe.”

Luo Binghe was frozen behind him and anxiety rose in Shen Qingqiu. “Not that I expect anything from Binghe; he has his whole life ahead of him and–“

Before Shen Qingqiu could blink, Luo Binghe had come around to his side, lifted his face up, and kissed him.

!

Shen Qingqiu didn’t even have time to process what was happening before Luo Binghe pulled away, glaring at him. Hand still on his face, he said, “Shen Yuan, this Binghe apologizes for kissing you and likely making you uncomfortable. I need you to understand something: I love you. When I told you I would not approach you as a disciple, that was for your comfort, not my own. If this Binghe had his way, he would never leave your side and we would bow to each other tomorrow. There is no one else for me, only you.

“I know you don’t believe me, that you probably won’t until I am old enough that you see me as an adult. But I know I’m serious. I will do my best to respect your boundaries, but you must know that hearing you doubt my regard for you is probably the fastest way to make me lose control of myself. Even if you never believe me, please don’t say so in front of me.”

Shen Qingqiu blinked up at him, taken aback, lips tingling as if from an aftershock. “Oh.”

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Con–]

Shen Qingqiu force-closed the System interface, small frown coming to his face because what just happened?

Luo Binghe released him and smiled. “A-Yuan is adorable. Pleases me greatly to hear that A-Yuan cares for this one; he was only concerned that those feelings were reserved for his older counterpart alone.”

Shen Qingqiu’s face turned red. “Of course not! I mean, I don’t want to do… adult things with Binghe and I never considered the possibility of us being together before the switch but… everything else…”

Luo Binghe hugged him. “Thank you, A-Yuan. Even if we never get around to dual cultivation, just being beside you and your most important person would make me the luckiest person in the world.”

Staunchly ignoring part of his statement, Shen Qingqiu lifted a hand and pet Luo Binghe’s hair. “This Shen Yuan would be the lucky one.”

Luo Binghe tensed against him then tore himself away, taking up a section of his hair again. “Binghe?”

“Apologies, A-Yuan,” Luo Binghe said, voice lower than Shen Qingqiu expected. “I felt the urge to kiss you again and had to move away.

“There were other things you wanted to tell this Binghe?”

Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat and gave Luo Binghe an account of the day. He finished some minutes later, with Luo Binghe doing one last pass through his hair with, “But my fear is that, in retelling, the information I gave Mu Qingfang privately will twist. I don’t know exactly what he has written down and how it can be open to interpretation. Not to mention what happened with Liu-shidi today…”

“What happened with LIu Qingge? Did he hurt you?” Luo Binghe asked, suddenly tense and eyes fierce.

“Ah, no, nothing like that. In fact he.” Shen Qingqiu frowned, uncertain how to describe it. “He defended me vehemently in front of everyone. It was welcome but entirely unexpected. He seems more fond of me than I thought.”

Luo Binghe stayed quiet for a moment and Shen Qingqiu fought the urge to squirm. He then asked, “Binghe, you have seen your Liu-shishu around. He’s just a very loyal friend, right?”

“...in a sense,” Binghe said cryptically. “How does A-Yuan feel about that?”

“Confused mostly. I don’t understand why he would act that way.”

“Hmm,” Luo Binghe hummed and then resumed doing his hair, the movements soothing. “Maybe his motivations will become clear soon enough.

“Now, what did A-Yuan say to Mu-shishu that Mu-shishu did not share?”

Shen Qingqiu hesitated before sighing and thinking to himself, You knew this was coming. “I. Binghe, this one hopes… I don’t mean any harm by telling you this.”

“I know.” A hand squeezed Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder reassuringly. “A-Yuan would never hurt this Binghe willingly. This Binghe wants him to feel comfortable saying anything to him, even if it’s about his experiences with his older counterpart.”

“Oh, well. I don’t know exactly what made Mu Qingfang investigate whether or not I could actually be a virgin, but I can guess. It probably came from me describing how intimate everything felt and that I couldn’t imagine doing such a thing with anyone I trusted less than Binghe.”

When Luo Binghe made no indication that what he had said disturbed him, Shen Qingqiu continued, feeling just a bit more comfortable. “Mu-shidi additionally did not share the fact that I don’t know how to define how I’m… attracted to people, but I think my world may have more categories than here. That said, I don’t think I’ve ever really been interested in doing anything with a woman. Women are more… abstract concepts of beauty to me, I think, than people to be intimate with. And men are… well. Before the switch I didn’t think I could be interested in men.”

“So A-Yuan is only attracted to this Binghe. As an adult, I mean.”

“…I don’t know.” Shen Qingqiu admitted, subdued. He hadn’t put a lot of thought into his sexuality, really, outside of having to come to terms very quickly with his attraction to an adult Luo Binghe. But he was designed to be the most beautiful man in the world; what other choice did he have, really?

“That’s okay, A-Yuan. I was just trying to understand. I think it’s okay not to know.”

Shen Qingqiu took a sip of his lukewarm but still soothing tea. It gave him a moment to brace himself. “I appreciate that, Binghe. I didn’t tell Mu-shidi anything about my… experience beyond the first round, but I don’t know what he could have concluded from my silence.”

“First round?”

Yes, this tea was delicious, the right blend of rosehips, chamomile, and passionflower. “Yes, since it only took one for the cure to go into effect.”

There was a moment of silence that made Shen Qingqiu aware of what he was not saying, but was obvious all the same: they had kept going for the sake of it rather than any medical purpose.

Oh, geez.

“And what was the cure, exactly?” Luo Binghe asked, voice strained. “Yuan-ge had said it required dual cultivation with a heavenly demon, but did not provide further details.”

…Shen Qingqiu was too sober for this conversation. But, he had told Mu Qingfang and of all the things that would be the most embarrassing to become common knowledge, it was this. Not that Shen Qingqiu felt that his actions were shameful just… did everyone need to know?!

“Um. The cure specifically requires a heavenly demon to… finish inside his partner.”

Shen Qingqiu’s face was on fire.

There was another charged moment of silence before Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat again. “Anyway! Mu Qingfang asked a lot of questions about mechanics I refused to answer. The only other information he has of significance that he did not share publicly today is that I enjoyed it.

“Now, the important things I kept him away from,” Shen Qingqiu straightened, feeling a far cry more comfortable with this topic, so much so he would physically fling himself towards it if he could. “I kept out any mention of Binghe being part demon, of course, despite the fact that he was either in partial or full demon form for… most of it.”

“What? ”

Shen Qingqiu looked up and caught Luo Binghe’s eyes in the mirror. The bronze was nowhere near as reflective as the silver mirrors he was used to, but it seemed liked the boy was truly shocked. “As an adult, Binghe expends some energy to seem either fully human or fully demon at any given time. How could I claim to care for him and not take him as he is?”

Luo Binghe made a wounded noise and, before Shen Qingqiu could voice his concern he found himself in a tight hug from behind, his disciple’s face against his neck in a way that felt a little too close. He said, voice watery, “Thank you, A-Yuan. Thank you.”

Shen Qingqiu patted his head, confused. “I didn’t do anything, Binghe.”

“You care; that’s enough. That’s everything.”

On a scale of “small splinter” to “literal end of the world,” Luo Binghe would categorize the crisis he was having as a relatively mild “Liu Qingge is standing too close to his Shizun like a pet waiting to be praised.”

That was Luo Binghe’s position, thank you very much.

But in all seriousness, he was dealing with a lot of feelings he didn’t know what to do with and he didn’t know who to talk to about it.

It was late by the time he hugged Shen Yuan goodnight and left to let his future husband Shizun sleep. Most were asleep, so Ning Yingying wasn’t an option.

Meng Mo got really snarky whenever Luo Binghe talked too long about his A-Yuan. Since he wasn’t already sticking his nose in the situation, Luo Binghe would rather not bother with him.

And Shen Yuan? Shen Yuan was the cause of his crisis, this tumult of feelings. For all he wanted them to be the closest two people could be in the world, he couldn’t share this with him.

Oh, Shen Yuan.

At a loss, with no one to rely on but himself, Luo Binghe headed back to his shared dorm room to meditate, hoping the exercises would help him clear his mind enough to actually think .

Because he hadn’t thought about the impact Shen Yuan’s upbringing may have had on him beyond not seeing Luo Binghe as an adult.

Because Liu Qingge becoming bolder in his admiration for Shen Yuan had not managed to derail his Shizun’s devotion to him.

Because he had so very much to lose and he refused to screw this up. He felt unprepared, like he needed to plan things out more, though he never could have imagined this.

Because Shen Yuan already admitted to loving him, even if it wasn’t the way Luo Binghe loved him yet .

He hadn’t intended on being so blunt with his feelings so soon but seeing his Shen Yuan upset drove him to the edge of his control. He felt powerless to help him yet like the strongest person in the world for being there for Shen Yuan. Now, now , he was nearly jogging in his haste to find a quiet place to calm down and not attempt murder on one of the many who dared make his A-Yuan cry. Either that or turn back around to the bamboo house and convince Shen Yuan that he wanted him more than his next breath. His beautiful, kind, brilliant A-Yuan, who could somehow not see Luo Binghe’s devotion after everything.

He had kissed him.

He shouldn’t have, but even that forbidden touch, that soft connection of lips, hadn’t been enough. And, fuck, but if Luo Binghe heard Shen Yuan doubt one more time in front of him how much he cared for him, he didn’t know if he would be able to stop himself from pushing him against a wall and kissing him and–

Luo Binghe needed to–

  …requires a heavenly demon to finish inside his partner .

He needed–

…I enjoyed it .

He–

How could I claim to care for him and not take him as he is ?

Gods, but Luo Binghe wanted nothing more than to–

“Oi, beast!” Luo Binghe stopped just outside the entrance to the dormitory and shot a dark look at the head disciple and currently the only one bold enough to insult him so openly after Shen Qingqiu began treating him well. Ming Fan stepped from around the corner of the building as if he was doing patrols and said, “What are you doing coming back so late? It’s after curfew.”

“Answering shixiong, Shizun only recently returned from the Peak Lord meeting and this disciple wanted to ensure he didn’t need anything. This…” Luo Binghe paused just as he was about to gloat (tastefully) about the fact Shen Qingqiu chose to rely on him rather than his head disciple when a thought occurred.

If he had learned anything over the past week, it was perspective. He knew now what it looked like when someone was jealous of his connection with Shen Qingqiu. While he doubted Ming Fan felt the desire to taste their Shizun’s moans that had seeped into Luo Binghe’s bones, he could tell the boy wished Shen Qingqiu relied on him more.

While he would rather die than betray his A-Yuan’s trust, maybe some things could be shared. A common enemy or ten, for example.  

Luo Binghe cleared his throat and quickly continued. “Shizun was… frustrated after dealing with the other Peak Lords all day. This one made him a calming tea but Shizun… this one shouldn’t say.”

Ming Fan puffed up his chest. “I am his head disciple. While you wormed your way into his favor somehow, it’s still my duty to see to Qing Jing. If something happened with the other Peak Lords that would impact our behavior towards their Peaks, I should know!”

“Shizun would know best but…” Luo Binghe scowled. “Many disrespected Shizun, despite the work he does for the good of the Sect. This lowly one does not know the details, but nearly every Peak Lord with the exceptions of Peak Lords Liu, Shang, and Mu… And Peak Lord Wei was especially vicious…”

Ming Fan gasped. “They would dare talk down to Qing Jing Peak!? We are ranked second for a reason! And our Shizun has done nothing to warrant their disrespect! How could we tolerate it!?”

“Shizun did not want to make a fuss and have it interfere with his work…”

“Well, Shizun is wise and above such petty squabbles, but this disciple is not . Yingying will… Those Peak Lords will regret their choices!”

“Begging shixiong’s pardon, this one must wake early to prepare Shizun’s breakfast and is leaving first.”

Ming Fan waved dismissively at him, thoroughly preoccupied with the thought of paying back the insult to their Shizun. Luo Binghe hid his smirk and silently made his way up to his dorm room.

With the other Peak Lords handled, Luo Binghe could dedicate himself to what really mattered.

Shen Yuan and figuring out just what Liu Qingge was playing at.

He was about to have a few very busy days, indeed.