Archive of Our Own

Zari stares at herself in the mirror. She’s gone without blush today, a nearly unheard-of sin. Not that anyone will be able to tell, when she’s already glowing with a radiant mixture of shame and arousal.

“Gidget.” Her voice wavers. She clears her throat and tries again. “Gidget, am I horrible for agreeing to this?”

Gideon sounds amused. “If you mean ‘do I think you’ll scandalize the crew with your antics,’ absolutely not. My programming forbids me from giving details, but be assured they have done equally kinky things. I suspect they’ll find it amusing, as I do.”

“I don’t want to be laughed at!” Zari huffs.

Gideon clarifies, “Not amusing in a condescending sense. I should say, they’ll be glad you feel bold enough to enjoy yourself. They may joke about it, but not cruelly. If anything, they’ll simply welcome you to the ranks of the filthy kinkster crew.”

Zari manages a shaky laugh. “I don’t want to know,” she decides. Then she takes a deep breath and steps out into the hallway to face the Legends.

Being pinned up against the wall ought to frighten her (or arouse her, since Charlie is very hot). Instead, Zari can only muster cold fury. “Let go of me, you have no reason to be touching me.”

“Oh, come on now, princess.” Charlie’s dark eyes flash. “You were bratting at me, have been all day. Did you not figure I’d get physical about it? Or...oh.” Her expression shifts, becomes so intent that Zari wants to look away. “Oh, you can’t even let yourself consciously want this. All that bratting, practically begging to be put in your place, because you want me to make you feel something. Because you’ve forgotten how to let yourself.”

Zari can’t believe the nerve. (She can’t believe the feeling, deep down in the pit of her stomach, that Charlie is right.) “I don’t need you to make me do anything. I know how to feel.”

“You know how to feel what’s acceptable,” Charlie corrects. “What the cameras like, what a good li’l businesswoman should feel. The feelings that aren’t pretty? That are a li’l bit scary? Nah, you can’t remember. Nobody’s ever let you, least of all you.”

“And you’re going to ‘let’ me?” Zari scoffs. She’s acutely aware that Charlie isn’t touching her. She’s got her hands braced to either side of Zari’s head, but there’s plenty of space to duck out under her arms. There’s nothing keeping Zari here...except for the fact that she’s intrigued. Except for the fact that Charlie is right. “I don’t need your permission.”

“No, but you need my help. You need someone to break down that persona you keep up like armor, and, well.” Charlie’ grins. She looks hungry, but not in a way that Zari reads as a threat. It’s a promise - one Zari very much wants her to keep. “I’m very good at that. Ask anyone on the team.”

“Fine. If it gets you to let me go.” Zari draws herself up to her full height. There’s no need to let Charlie see her doubt - or worse, see her want. Wanting, genuinely wanting, is too vulnerable.

“Uh-uh, princess. It’s not that easy.” Charlie presses in closer. Zari can feel how warm she is, even with the inch or so of space Charlie is carefully maintaining between them. “If you really want this, I need to hear you say it.”

Damn her. Zari grits her teeth, and finally manages to whisper, “I want you to make me feel something real. Something dangerous. Something I’m not allowed to want.”

“Something dangerous.” Charlie pushes away from the wall with a satisfied smirk. “Yeah. I can do that.”

As much as Zari wants to skulk out of sight where no Legends will see her, she still needs breakfast. She heads to the kitchen, keeping her steps small to avoid jostling the toy inside her. Charlie said it could turn on - and worse, that she’d have the remote for it - but so far, it’s still. That doesn’t mean Zari can ignore it; the friction alone is enough to make her drip.

When she gets to the kitchen, Charlie is perched on the counter, halfway through a cup of yogurt with berries. She smirks when she sees Zari.

“Is that a new color blush?” she calls out, easily twice as loud as she needs to be. “Looks good on ya.”

Zari glances furtively around to see who else is in the kitchen. There’s only Mick, minding a couple of skillets. He’s not going to care (he may not even notice), so she turns back to Charlie and hisses, “I hate you.”

“Hmm, I bet,” Charlie agrees. She pulls out her phone and starts nonchalantly clicking around. Zari’s suspicions register too late, as the toy inside her begins to vibrate. She chokes down a noise and clenches her thighs together tight enough to hurt.

There’s a clatter of cutlery. It takes Zari a minute to realize Mick is offering her a plate of beef sausages.

“Cooked ‘em separate from the bacon,” he promises her. “Used to do it for Snart too. Don’t thank me, just eat it.”

Zari takes the plate and immediately sets it down for fear of dropping it. She manages to squeak out thanks, but can’t look Mick in the eyes. Does he know? Can he tell she’s being vibrated to pieces by a bitch of a goddess?

The vibrations die down to a mere tantalizing buzz. Zari flops down into the nearest chair and lets her head drop back, panting.

“Shh.” Charlie grins at her from across the room. “If you keep that up, somebody’s gonna get suspicious.”

“Fuck you,” Zari hisses. With some difficulty, she sits back up and starts eating the beef sausages Mick so thoughtfully prepared. They’re not exactly consistent with her low-fat diet, she thinks ruefully, but right now, she stands no chance of cooking breakfast on her own. If she stands up again, her legs are going to give out.

(Her pussy clenches tight around the toy at that image - dropping down onto her knees, shaking and coming while everyone watches. It’s terrible. It’s taboo. And it’s making her drip down her thighs because of it.)

“Mhmm, I know, fuck me,” Charlie purrs. She puts down her phone and goes back to eating her yogurt, the very picture of innocence, as Sara and Nate arrive.

“Morning, Z!” Sara says happily. “You’re up early. I didn’t see you in the bathroom line.”

“I did most of my beauty work in my room today,” Zari says. She tries to ignore the vibrator kicking up another notch, and even mostly succeeds. Her voice only shakes a little as she says, “I thought it was only f-fair since I take so long.”

Sara’s eyebrows twitch up, and she glances between Zari and Charlie. Zari’s face feels hot enough to fry an egg. (Her traitor pussy clenches around the toy so that she sees stars.) Sara knows. She knows Zari is doing filthy things in public - in the kitchen of all places...

“Well, we got through the bathroom line in record time, so thanks.” Sara inclines her head with a cheery, knowing smile. Zari lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Sara’s not angry. Like Gideon said, she seems amused.

As she saunters off to prepare her usual eggs, she calls over her shoulder, “Is that a new blush? It looks good on you.”

Zari bites back a curse. So there’s the teasing Gideon warned her about. She’s not going to answer. If she curses at the captain, she’ll give herself away.

“Here.” Charlie stops by to take her plate and gives her a too-sharp smile. “Let me get that plate for ya. I’m gonna do dishes already, no need for you to get up.”

Zari glares. She can only imagine her warm cheeks ruin the effect (not to mention the fact that she’s started rocking in her seat, trying to get more friction from the toy). “I don’t need you to coddle me!”

“Nah, maybe not.” Charlie’s hand goes to her pocket. Even bracing herself doesn’t help Zari when the vibrator changes speed, so fast it leaves her shaking. “You’re still glad of it, though.” And she takes the plate before Zari has a chance to argue - as though she could, when she has her lips pressed tight shut to avoid letting out a moan.

For all that she’s a smug bitch-goddess, Charlie is right. If Zari gets up, she’s going to come. She’s more sure of that than she has been of anything in her life. She’ll come and everyone will see, everyone will know the big bad businesswoman whored herself out to a bitch-goddess the moment she had a chance. She wasn’t forced, she wasn’t taken against her will. She begged for a chance to squirm and drip and come in public because the bright, genuine shame is the hottest, realest thing she’s ever felt.

Zari is pretty sure her train of thought, not the vibrator, is to blame for the fact that she dissolves into a shaking orgasm right at the kitchen table. She tips forward onto the table and buries her head in her arms. If she can't hide her shaking, at least she can hide her face so nobody sees her expression while she comes apart.

She stays hidden in her arms for far longer than the orgasm, terrified of what she’ll see when she looks up. Everyone is going to judge her. Everyone is going to know that Zari Tarazi is weak and horny and vulnerable.

When she finally lifts her head, she finds Charlie smirking, Nate tactfully averting his eyes, and Sara grinning. Mick has vanished completely.

“Glad to see you’re settling in,” Sara says, still cheerful. “It’s been a long time since we had kinky play in the kitchen. There’s washcloths, paper towels and bleach wipes in the cupboard by the door, and yeah, there’s a reason the chairs are all plastic. In the interest of fairness, Charlie, if you caused the mess, you clean it up, let poor Zari wipe down and shower.”

Zari has to clear her throat a couple of times before her voice comes back. “Uh. This is. Normal?”

“Normal is a strong word to apply to anything on this ship, but it’s not the first time this has happened, no.” Sara shrugs. “We’re all adults. We’re all kinky fucks. Gideon is maybe the kinkiest fuck of all. Nobody’s gonna judge you - except maybe your brother.”

All of Zari’s afterglow drains from her, and a pulse of pure adrenaline sends her bolting to her feet. Behrad. “I have to, he can’t see me like this -”

“Relax,” Charlie says. She tosses Zari a washcloth and drags down a roll of paper towels. “I knew this’d be public, so I gave him a day pass to a slam poetry event. Told him he’d find some inspiration for his music.”

“Nobody will say a word,” Nate promises in between bites of toast.

Zari sighs and slumps in relief. She almost sits back down, before noticing the puddle on the chair. “Ew! No, I’m going to shower. Sara was right. This is your fault, you clean it up.”

Charlie keeps smirking. “Clean the toy, princess, and then you keep it. I have a lot more ideas of how to get you feeling something real.”

Zari huffs and makes a show of flouncing out. She doesn’t want Charlie to see how interested she is - though she has a feeling her bitch-goddess already knows.