Chapter Text
Toni might be an idiot.
Toni is probably an idiot.
She can tell you the names of four dozen constellations and the mythology behind at least half of them. Sure, maybe she can’t dunk, but she can lead her division in triple doubles (and probably technical fouls if you wanted to get technical) . And, she can go to a post-win celebration and always, always, end the night with someone’s lips on hers; an irrefutable beast in both courts.
But if anyone expected Toni to be particularly bright (especially in her love life) they’d probably be a bit disappointed.
Toni has a notoriously one track mind, if there’s a game to be played or practice to be had then there’s little chance she’ll remember much else.
So Toni might have forgotten about a date the week before—and now Toni might be dateless for Valentine’s Day.
It wasn’t until their second year that they were all finally together, but most of them had met and bonded the year before as freshman.
Unfortunately, as much as Toni had tried to fight with the housing office (and fight she did), she and Martha couldn’t get an exception to choose their own roommates; but by pure luck, they wound up in the same building, on opposite ends of the same floor.
Toni can vividly remember her first time meeting Fatin, opening the door to her new room to be assaulted with the smell of several candles scattered across the room. Her new roommate looked up from where she was reading a magazine on one of the beds and greeted her, “Thank me later, it smelled like desperation and depression in here.” Toni had watched the other girl give her the least subtle once over possible before a sly grin spread, “I’m Fatin.”
From there Toni met the rest of them: the Texan and the first twin, Dot and Nora, who lived one door down, and then the second twin, Rachel, another few doors down next to Martha. Martha and Rachel’s roommates had both seemed fine, but they were gone by the end of the year.
That first year went great, Toni focused on her grades, basketball practice, and (like any other college freshman) partying with Fatin on the weekends.
When summer came, Toni was only able to spend a single month back in Minnesota with Martha and her family. Only one month with her girlfriend Regan, who at the start of their freshman year had been okay with the distance; up until they were confronted with the reality of how much time Toni would be dedicating to practice if she wanted to start, how that lead to one too many missed calls and a few too many texts forgotten until the next day.
After that month ended in heartbreak, Toni was back in LA and living out the rest of her summer at Fatin’s family’s beach house. It worked out well enough, Fatin’s family was off somewhere in Europe for the brea, and Toni had practice most days anyway. The twins had stuck around too, so they still had them to spend time with even if Martha had stayed back home and Dot had gone back to Texas.
Toni had her distractions: beach trips or pick up games with Rachel, horror movie marathons with Nora throwing popcorn back and forth, and of course, the frequent loud weekend parties at the Jadmani’s.
Parties where Toni, possibly, let loose a little too much. Parties Toni potentially used to drown out her heartbreak with drinks and girls. Parties like the white party Fatin decided to host on Labor Day weekend, a few days before the start of the new semester.
Toni, like everyone else at the party, had been decked out in white: loose white pants with an equally loose shirt, very intentionally left open to show off a sports bra and tanned abs.
She was also drunk. Drunk enough that when the next day came most details were a blur. And Toni might have been an idiot then too, because Toni had practice the next day—practice she couldn’t miss if she had any hope of starting this year.
Toni remembers the beginning, arguing over beer with Dot who had just gotten back the day before with a friend, Fatin forcing her out onto the dance floor, and a girl approaching her at the painfully appropriative tiki bar and asking about her drink.
She also remembers trying to convince her, “No, I swear it’s good, you just put the corona upside down into it like thi—“ before spilling half of the bottle over both of their hands.
Toni knows the girl had laughed, that she had grabbed a towel and reached to take Toni’s hands. She had dried off one hand before reaching for the other, and Toni’s stomach still tightens when she thinks about the way her eyes had honed in on the salt that stuck to the tip of Toni’s thumb; eyes darkened as they flicked to Toni’s, questioning for only a moment before she pulled the thumb up to her lips. The girl slowly guided it across her lower lip, passing once before her tongue darted out to catch the salt. Her eyes never left Toni’s as she licked once against the tip, and then again along the entire length.
Toni remembers feeling like she had forgotten how to breathe, and remembers the moment her mind went completely blank after her thumb was sucked in between the other girl’s soft lips; the full length of it pressed against her tongue before she slowly pulled back.
Her eyes had seemed almost impossibly dark given how light Toni thought they had been before, how much of that could have been the alcohol was anyone’s guess, and how her breathing was just as tight as Toni’s by that point.
Toni knows they had snuck off to a secluded spot on the private beach, knows they spent what felt like hours kissing and touching to the sound of the waves, and knows when they made it inside they spent even longer in Toni’s bed.
Toni also knows she woke up alone—alone, and late for practice.
In an instant Toni was racing to get ready, and the few vague details she could recall from the night before were gone.
The last two had strolled in later, transfers coming in for their sophomore year. Leah was odd, and Toni wasn’t sure about her, but Fatin had vouched for her and Rachel seemed to like her as a roommate so Toni shrugged it off.
Dot’s friend from Texas though? Toni had been even less sure about her.
Shelby Goodkind, Martha’s new roommate and supposedly the “nicest person ever, she’s so friendly and sweet, and even you can’t not like her.”
Toni probably could have rolled her eyes harder, Martha thought the best of everyone, but she had already been sort of wrong about Leah so she probably should keep any eye rolling to a minimum.
But if Leah was odd, Shelby was just straight up fucking weird.
Martha had been right, Shelby was probably the most outgoing and friendly person Toni had seen in ages; she’d introduce herself with a wide, bright smile, and immediately start talking as if she had been the other person’s friend for years.
With everyone except Toni.
Toni remembers that the first time they actually met, she had seen her around campus a few times but always in passing, was a Thursday night after Toni had walked back to her room from a particularly rough practice that left Toni in a sour mood.
Of course, of course, it was that night that Fatin decided to have a little “family game night”; as if Fatin even owned any beyond the pack of cards they used for drinking games. Toni had opened the door to a chorus of playful boos; apparently she hadn’t been as exciting as the pizza guy was going to be.
It had taken her a bit, Toni had been grumpy and really would’ve preferred to not have an audience that switched to equally playful cheers as she changed out of her shirt, but she finally noticed an extra body in the room.
Martha had been so excited to introduce Shelby to Toni, she had talked her up for days, and all Toni had gotten out of the girl was a stammered, “H-hi …” and wide eyes seeming ridiculously green against bright red skin.
Toni, being Toni, just grunted back a hello before stealing one of the cookies and moving on to talk to Rachel.
It continued on like that for the next few weeks. Any time one of them was in the same room as the other, which was nearly every day, Shelby would get either noticeably less talkative and shoot frequent indecipherable looks at Toni, or would dive in the complete opposite direction and go into some freakishly energetic attempt to get everyone to do some “icebreakers”.
Toni didn’t know what was wrong with her, but Martha liked her so she shrugged it off like she had with Leah and tolerated her presence.
At least the both of them weren’t too bad to look at: Leah with her intense blue eyes and legs for miles, and Shelby with her… well, everything. Not that Toni really noticed that soft and warm smile, or those bright green eyes, or how nice an ass Shelby had—it wasn’t like she had glanced once or twice after she overheard them talking about cycling classes.
It wasn’t until the end of their first month of the semester that Toni actually had an actual, real interaction with Shelby that made her see the other girl as something more.
It had been a little over three months since Regan had dumped her, and Toni had thought she was over it. She had moved on, she’d followed Fatin’s advice and got over Regan by getting under ( or over ) someone else. Several someone elses, in fact. But it hadn’t been enough, and Toni had found herself sitting on the beach all afternoon on a warm October day, just staring out and thinking about how she would have been facetiming her girlfriend and wishing her a happy birthday.
Toni had no idea how long she had been out there, just watching the waves crash over and over, before Shelby sat down next to her with an open bag of Takis.
She hadn’t said a word when she did, just sat and held the bag out to Toni while watching the skyline. Toni remembers thinking about telling Shelby to leave, telling her she didn’t need any uncomfortable small talk, or to play any icebreakers; Toni instead just reached over into the bag, and the two of them sat for a while in silence.
Shelby finally broke it first, starting to tell Toni some story about a time she had gone to the beach back home. Toni had barely listened before hearing Shelby almost whisper the word ‘girlfriend ’ and looking to see a noticeable flush on her face.
Shelby told her all about her girlfriend back home; how they had gone to high school together and how Shelby had followed her to Texas A&M instead of heading to California with Dot and their friend Becca like she had actually wanted.
She told Toni how she found out she was being cheated on, that she was the one dumped when she did, and that it was what gave her the push to transfer and finally be where she really wanted to be.
Toni had looked away once Shelby had mentioned being dumped, had looked back to the ocean as Shelby went on to tell her that the only way she had gotten through it was to try to focus on the beauty in everything else.
And as Toni’s eyes stayed on the horizon, glued on the sun setting, Shelby had said “Like that… now isn’t that just the purest thing you ever saw?”, and Toni finally cried over it all for the first time.
That’s all it took for Toni, Shelby was still weird and awkward and definitely a bit of a dweeb sometimes, but she had given Toni everything she needed that night.
She never asked Toni to talk about it, she never tried to hug her or touch her beyond their shoulders pressing together while they sat. At one point, before she had even started to move, she whispered to Toni “I’m not leavin’, I’m just going to get us a drink. I’m comin’ right back .”
She had just known what Toni needed, and that probably should have made Toni question how easy she was to read, but it was from there that Toni definitively considered Shelby one of her people.
Toni was generally quick to make assumptions about people; she had been quick to make assumptions about Nora too, until the one day after a pick up game with Rachel when Nora had immediately greeted Toni with a detailed run down of her play and areas she needed improvement on (“She used to do that with me when I was diving, it’s a blessing and a curse to have around ”).
She had also been quick to judge Leah and Shelby; while she still thought there was something off about the two of them, they had proven themselves to be pretty chill people who seemed to have her back.
And where being judgmental was definitely one of Toni’s flaws, her dedication to people she called her friends was one of her strengths; and Shelby showing that dedication to their friendship in return had Toni all in on it.
After that one night at the beach, when they stayed a few hours past that sunset, Toni’s interactions with Shelby had almost completely changed. Toni had stopped being constantly indifferent around her and Shelby had stopped being so awkward—mostly.
Shelby would still have the occasional moments of being oddly quiet when the group got a little rowdy, and seemed a little weird when it came to Toni changing out of her practice uniforms whenever she came back from practice (Toni chalks that up to the conservative upbringing Shelby had told her about); but overall she was full of gleaming smiles and giggles with Toni like she had always been with everyone else.
After only another month they were even comfortable with platonic physical contact: a hand grasping Toni’s bicep when Shelby laughed too hard, shoulders pressed tight together as one of them leaned against the other on the couch, and Toni’s hand occasionally landing on Shelby’s thigh for god knows what reason. Things Toni was quick to bat away with almost anyone else.
They’d hit a point in their friendship that rivaled Toni’s relationship with Fatin—in all but one way, a bridge they would definitely never be crossing. Toni maybe should have been surprised at how quickly they were bonding, but it felt natural, even if unexpected.
And so, when the time came around for Thanksgiving break, Toni was right there with Shelby, Martha, and Dot, sitting in her dorm room with takeout and movies playing, having their own little “anti-Thanksgiving” dinner.
Then, Christmas and winter break came, and Toni stayed behind with Shelby again. Toni was far too concerned with not missing any possible second of working with her personal trainer and coach, and maybe there was a part of her that didn’t want Shelby to have to stay behind alone (as if Fatin and Dot hadn’t also stayed).
Friends didn’t let friends spend holidays alone, Toni had reasoned.
Friends did however, stand on the sidelines yelling Toni’s name when she jogged out onto the court for her first starting game; decked out in blue and gold with a “#3” painted on their cheek. Some friends, although she did consider revoking that status, even waved a sign proclaiming: “Let’s GO ShaliHOE!”
If Fatin hadn’t been hosting the after party Toni might have also revoked her invite, or so she later claimed through a barely concealed smile.
Shelby had almost been more excited for their team’s win than Toni had, running into a hug the moment Toni had stepped out of the locker room. Fatin’s quip of “Wow, did you even get her off like this?” had brought that old awkwardness back for a moment; Shelby pulled away fast with an immediately red face (they really needed to work on that ingrained shame), but she recovered quick enough and Toni was far too amped up by the win to even fully register the comment or the reaction.
That night was one of Toni’s favorites, the team celebrated with a big bonfire and s’mores, beer was passed around like water, and Toni had never felt closer to her friends.
Every part of Toni’s life was going great.
Except her sex life.
It hadn’t been long at all after the breakup before Toni had her first time with someone other than Regan, her and Fatin had crossed that bridge early in that summer together. In the months following there had been plenty of parties and celebrations, nearly every one ending in either making out against a wall in the corner of a club or Greek house, or a few that had made it back to someone’s room.
But it was January, and a dry spell had hit hard; it left Toni feeling restless, but playing her first starting game had her even more motivated and she was definitely overdoing it with constant practices and gym trips.
Toni’s last few hookups had been significantly more sober than the one at the white party; she hadn’t regretted sleeping with that girl, she remembered every bit of the sex had been incredible, but she did regret not catching her name.
Toni may have felt somewhat bitter that the girl was gone before she woke up, without even leaving her number behind, but she also may have felt a bit guilty and just as much to blame considering she didn’t even remember her well enough to be able to pick her out anywhere on campus.
So in December, Toni wanted to make sure she remembered everything, and made sure to get names and numbers—before things got back to her dorm.
The most recent girl, Liz, had gone back home for break, but they’d texted (sexted) frequently enough that Toni decided she was going to officially ask her out after she came back at the end of the month.
A part of Toni may have been fueled by the desire for another night with someone, but it had been months since Regan had left her and Martha had been pushing her to try to put herself back out there (Fatin had simply told her to “get back in the game, bitch ”); so Toni pushed herself to ask her out on a real, actual date two weeks before Valentine’s Day.
Toni had remembered about the date for roughly a week after she made it, long enough that her friends knew about it. She’d felt a bit proud of herself, she had finally followed Martha’s advice and was putting some effort into moving on. So of course Toni told everyone about it, maybe even bragged a little bit.
Martha, Dot, and Nora were the only ones who actually had dates; Martha’s was even the first one with a new guy, luckily Toni already knew and liked him well enough.
That left Fatin, Rachel, Leah, Shelby, and her without dates—but at least not without plans.
Shelby had, since she had moved to California, started performing at open mic nights around campus; eventually moving on to scheduled regular gigs at a local bar before that night’s band would take the stage. A bar that luckily enough was known for making exceptions to checking IDs for the college’s athletes and whoever they were with. This year the holiday landed on a Friday night, Shelby’s usual night, so the four of them had agreed weeks earlier on going there to support her and enjoying the night together after.
Shelby’s look of disappointment when Toni told her she was planning (prematurely) on asking Liz out on a second date that night and probably wouldn’t be going to the club made Toni’s stomach tinge with guilt.
Toni had promised her she’d come to the next few shows for sure, and that nothing would stop her from going; the look and shrug Shelby gave her told Toni it was anything but fine, like Shelby said it was.
But Toni was doing this, she was putting herself back on the actual market and dating again, and she was going to get over Regan for good.
And then, of course, Toni completely forgot about it.
“Okay but we totally lost last week because of me and I needed to focus and not fucking suck this time,” Toni can tell by Rachel’s expression that whatever excuses she tries aren’t going to fly.
“We played on Thursday dude, you definitely had all day yesterday to remember,” Rachel criticizes flatly, rolling her eyes over to Fatin. “Martha owes us ten bucks.”
“Was really hoping I’d lose this bet,” Fatin huffs, but she’s smirking from her spot on the floor next to Toni. “As much as I’m absolutely loving slut era Toni, you were kinda grossly cute about this.”
Rachel snorts, “And less pissy.”
Toni’s cheeks are hot, she breaks eye contact with Rachel who continues, “And it’s not like this is your first time forget—“
Toni doesn’t catch what causes the grunt that stops her, but when she looks back up Fatin has an over the top fake smile going and Rachel’s rolling her eyes again.
“It’s not just my fault, I mean she could’ve texted too,” Toni scoffs, falling back into a defensive mood for a moment.
“Ew. Don’t be that guy, Shalifoe.” Fatin’s right, Toni knows it. “Besides, now you can come with us on Friday, cheer on our girl.”
Toni stiffens, she’d forgotten about that too and was probably about to get chastised again, “About that… I was thinking of trying to suck up and still ask her about a date on Friday.”
Rachel gets up abruptly, half heartedly tossing her hands in the air, “I can’t, she’s an idiot, she can’t be helped.”
Toni pouts, she didn’t think her idea was that dumb, but even Fatin’s looking at her now with her eyebrows furrowed.
“Okay Toni,” Fatin nods. “You go ahead and do that, go ask for forgiveness and maybe, maybe , she’ll agree to spend Valentine’s Day with the person who stood her up.”
“She might,” Toni pouts as Fatin pats her shoulder with faux sympathy. “If it doesn’t work I’ll go with you guys. But… let’s maybe not tell Shelby until I know? Like, I don’t want her to get her hopes up that I might be there or whatever, she was already weirdly bummed before.”
“Oh my god.” Rachel’s starting to walk towards the door at the same time Martha’s walking in, “Ten bucks.”
Martha blinks at her, looks to Toni and sees a guilty expression; she shoots her a knowing look, “Oh Toni… you’re paying for my next coffee now.” Martha taps on her phone for a moment and directs toward Rachel, “There.”
They’re betting on you. They’re literally betting on you.
Toni groans and leans back against the desk behind her, ignores the new and pensive look Fatin is giving her.
Toni’s not a complete idiot, she knows Shelby is more upset about Toni missing her show than she’s admitting to; she just has no idea why she’d be upset about one show. It’s not like Toni hadn’t been to most of them already.
Toni figured if anything Shelby would be just as excited for her getting a date as she’s been for Martha, but Shelby doesn’t seem to particularly like the idea of Toni dating Liz. Shelby hasn’t seemed to particularly like anyone Toni’s talked (or not talked ) to; Toni just shrugs that off as the same kinda thing as Shelby being over protective with Martha when boys at the frat house parties would approach her.
So Toni’s laying there on Martha’s bed, flicking through Instagram while Shelby sifts through Martha’s closet to help her pick out an outfit for her date.
“There’s nothin’ to worry about, we’ll find the perfect thing I promise,” Shelby’s chewing on her bottom lip as she holds up a sweater, considering it.
Toni doesn’t have to be into Shelby to think that’s attractive, Shelby is objectively attractive and that is an objectively attractive thing to do. Toni isn’t blind.
You really need to get laid though, even your friends are setting you off. You gotta fix it with Liz.
Toni had apologized again on Sunday, and sporadic texting had continued since then, but they hadn’t made it back to the spicier side they had been at before Toni’s fuck up. She hadn’t asked about Friday yet either, which was only a few days away. Shit, she really needed to do that soon.
“Why is this so hard,” Martha whines from her spot on the floor. “Toni what are you wearing?”
Shelby stills for a moment before she moves the next hanger over just a little more sharply than she had before; Toni tries to school her face as if she didn’t notice.
“Uh…” It hits Toni that she has no idea what she was going to wear, she had just assumed Fatin would pick out her outfit for her, like she tries to do every time they go out. “I’m not sure, I’ll figure it out then I guess,” she shrugs it off.
“It’s Valentine’s Day, Toni,” Shelby murmurs, “you have to put some effort into it.”
That’s it. That’s why she’s so upset.
It’s Shelby’s first Valentine’s Day single; she was probably hoping to lean on her friends for support, and Toni had taken yet another person out of that pool.
Martha’s looking over now, she definitely noticed the change in Toni’s expression and Toni hadn’t told her she didn’t ask yet. “Do you even know where you’re taking her?”
Toni’s face gives her away again, and Shelby who had finally glanced over her shoulder lets out a frustrated huff; Toni winces and tries to shoot her an apologetic look.
“Lord, Toni, a Valentine’s date is a big deal, you really should’ve been plannin’ something.” Shelby points a finger at her, “And no just taking her to the same place you went last time.”
Toni might not have actually told Shelby about the last date. In her defense, Shelby had never actually asked about it, so it wasn’t like she was intentionally hiding it from her.
Matha’s eyebrows furrow before she sends Toni a bewildered look; Martha had probably just assumed Toni had said something, it was admittedly a little weird she didn’t,
Toni surrenders, “Yeah, yeah you’re right. I’ll figure something out.”
Toni does not figure something out.
There’s nothing to figure out, because Liz says no. No. She knows she screwed up, but it hadn’t seemed like it was that bad. Liz had seemed cool about it before, Toni even waited until she had gotten an explicitly flirtatious text again before she asked.
But nope, Toni was probably an idiot; a single, dateless, idiot.