Archive of Our Own

Every time a bee would be unfortunate enough to buzz in Levi’s ear, he’d whack it away without fear of being stung in consequence. Truthfully, he simply didn’t care if a bee sought revenge in its little brain because he knew that might just get him out of his current obligation. In fact, maybe he’d just find wherever their colony was and stick his head in it – anything was better than attending to these frivolous little girls.

The summer sun was sweltering as its heat even made shade unbearable. Levi’s black hair and black suit only made him more miserable. No breeze, no access to that iced tea and lemonade that sweated on the table in front of him; nothing was granting him relief. His knitted brows dripped as he watched another bee make its way toward him.

“Imagine my surprise when a certain Mr. Smith appeared on our doorstep late last afternoon,” one of the other women changed the topic once again. Levi had nicknamed her “Pinky” for her oddly shaped finger; it bent entirely too much, creating almost a bow shape and it stood at pitiful attention as she lifted her teacup.

“Oh?”

“Yes! He was in search of my father. Surely, he means to buy some sheep from one of our farms soon. Now would certainly be a beneficial time.”

Levi picked up the pitcher and poured “Woman in Green” more lemonade – he was still working on a nickname for her.

“Mr. Smith is very handsome,” Woman Number Three sighed. “Blonde hair… Bright eyes…”

“Careful, Katherine. I fear that if your fiancé were to hear you, we’d find ourselves in wartime again.” Y/N, the only woman Levi knew the name of simply because he was under your hire, jested. It sent the table into giggles, folding fans waving over their faces frantically.

How dull they were, both in intellect and in manner.

A floral-scented breeze finally blew through field, causing the lacy tablecloth in front of them to dance. Levi exhaled as the breeze cooled his wet skin.

“Oh, let me dream, Y/N! None of us have had your fortune. To be matched with Mr. Jaeger...”

Your lips were upturned as you swallowed the last bite of macaron in your hand. “It’s a blessing, to be sure.”

“Have you kissed yet?” Pinky probed with much enthusiasm.

“Well—”

“Emeline! Don’t ask such questions. I swear your nosiness will be the death of us all.” Number Three scolded Pinky, turning the latter’s face as red as the strawberries on the half-eaten cake.

You passed Pinky – or Emeline, though Levi chose to still call her by the nickname as it was much more amusing – a generous look.

“I’m sorry,” you said, “I am quite timid about those things, I must confess.”

“You ought not to be,” Green Dress finally piped up with a small, squeaking voice. “You’re very lucky, as is he.”

Another bee, or perhaps a very consistent one, came back and buzzed in Levi’s ear. He swatted it away once again with a firm hand. His steely eyes didn’t move from your face, which was equally as still. One thing he could appreciate about you – the only thing, actually – was your composure. You were an airhead, sure, and overly flippant, but at least you weren’t entirely vain. If that were the case, Levi would’ve probably taken his leave by then.

“Yes,” you spoke, Levi’s eyes following your gaze as you looked out to the fragrant lavender field across from the tea party. “I suppose we are.”

Levi’s already scrutinizing eyes narrowed further at you; none of your friends seemed to notice.

“It will be sad, though!” Pinky spoke up, though her voice wasn’t as boisterous as before, “leaving this beautiful home! Your father’s estate always takes my breath away. I love the peonies in the front, they smell heavenly and—”

Levi’s attention span (and lifespan, if you asked him) was shortened to nonexistence with the debate of whether the peonies were better than the gardenias. The tea party was nothing special or exciting, just incredibly hot; a common theme for summer days at the L/N Estate.

Levi had worked at the estate for two months now, from late May to mid-July, and most of his days were spent like this; setting up for Y/N L/N’s senseless events, cleaning up after her, cooking for her – it was more of a babysitting job than servanthood. Levi had figured that this job was going to be exactly what he’d been looking for since becoming a free man – but no, he felt as trapped in mundanity as ever.

And when he woke the next day in the barracks, the wooden floor visibly dusty where the newborn sunlight beamed through the warped glass of the window, he knew it would be just as monotonous as the last. Still – just as he had done the day before – he got up, made his small bed with extreme care, and made his way to the kitchens to begin his first job of the day.

Mr. L/N, the master of the estate and your father, was a strange man with strange tastes. Levi always pondered how your father had even come up with the idea of oysters and pastries as he prepared them; it wasn’t even just the fact that the combination was extremely odd, but also that it was daily that he requested them – Levi had learned to just go ahead and prepare them without asking first.

You, however, preferred a sweet breakfast; the pancakes with homemade lavender syrup and fruit always made Levi’s nose twinge from the overly fragrant food. He’d learned to just make that, too – no need to ask when he knew the answer. This trait, knowing exactly what you wanted almost as an instinctual behavior, was one of the few similarities between you and your father that Levi could seem to find.

By the time Levi finishes cooking and the sun is set firmly in the sky, another manservant by the name of Oulo comes to clean the kitchen behind him. Levi always huffed when acknowledging Oulo’s presence, and this time was no exception as he exhaled and swiftly left the kitchen to set the table. (Oluo, as Levi overheard one day in the barracks, thought Levi to be intimidated by him. Bullshit.)

Your father is nearly always already seated at the table by the time Levi crossed the doorway with a plate in both hands; he chose the seat at the end of the mahogany table nearest the two large windows that overlooked the gardens. Eccentric as he was, he was subdued in the morning – Levi couldn’t tell if it was just tiredness or if his unconventional nature was just a way of getting others to leave him alone. The latter he could sympathize with, as he would probably do the same thing if he were a rich perfumer with nothing better to do than garden and solve word puzzles.

“Mr. L/N,” He spoke with that bit of coldness that always laced his words. He placed the plate of oysters and pastries in front of the pepper-haired man and backed away to stand beside the white wooden table that was simply decoration. Behind him was a rather beautiful mural on the wall reminiscent of a tapestry he’d seen in the haberdashery while accompanying you one day – it depicted a nature scene filled with greenery and even had a pair of horses on the right-hand side.

“Ah, looks delightful.”

He said the same thing every day, in a way. Your father, ever the lexophile, loved to come up with a synonym for ‘delicious’ or ‘good’ or ‘beautiful’ every day. Delightful was rather elementary, Levi had to admit.

Your pancakes were hard to ignore as he stood in waiting. The round cakes, their lavender scent wafting air and incessantly tickling Levi’s olfactory senses, were still warm when you finally arrived.

“Goodness, I feel as though I slept for ages.” You yawned out. Levi noticed that in your arms was your irritating cat, Miss Maisie. The white of her fluffy coat matched the white lace on your pink-satin nightgown and you two looked like two peas in a pod. You let the cat jump out of your arms and onto the ground.

“Good morning, Father.”

“Morning Y/N, Miss Maisie.”

Levi eyed the cat who waited beside her bowl. Where was Petra with the cat’s food?

“Mmm!” You exclaimed, presumably having taken a bite of the pancakes Levi freshly made for you. “These are so good!”

“Good… Excellent… Superb, Tremendous…” Your father muttered from the end of the table. The room was silent except for the occasional clanking of a pot from the kitchens.

“… Sensational!” You said with triumph, to which your father nodded.

“Hmm… Yes, sensational is a good word.”

Another moment of silence as you cut apart another bite of pancake. Levi surveyed the way your eyes fluttered a bit with each taste, as if you were surprised that the new bite didn’t taste any less ‘sensational’ than the last.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” You questioned, totally unfazed at the way Petra bounded into the dining area with a porcelain bowl of fresh tuna and a frazzled face. She’d slept in, Levi could tell from the way her dress was wrinkled and her hair unkempt on one side… Had she only brushed one side of her head?

The cat began to feast on the tuna, the sound of porcelain scraping against the wood floors grating on Levi’s ears. That damn cat… It loved tuna but only the fresh tuna that lived in the rivers in town. It would eat nothing else.

“I plan to tend to the garden and take a trip to the village. We might be getting a new bottle design for the bergamot and sage perfume.”

You ooh-ed at the news, as you always did when he’d relay his plans to you.

“And you?”

“Not sure,” You respired with eyes casted out to the garden outside the window. “I believe I should spend my day outside. I was reminded yesterday during the tea party that the lavender will be harvested soon. I want to smell it until I’m sick of it.”

“You’ve lived here for twenty-three years and you’re not sick of it yet?” You father jested, “Lord knows I am.”

You laughed, taking another bite.

Following breakfast, it was Levi’s favorite part of the day – cleaning. The L/N Estate was huge, filled with all the amenities that you would assume a family with prospects would have: a library, music room that was somehow separate from the entertainment room, a sizable art collection, and enough bedrooms to accommodate as many people as they pleased. Levi’s counted when he first arrived and there’s thirteen rooms in total, all of which were at the disposal of his feather duster and mop.

Cleaning had always been a great comfort for Levi, even before he was sent away. That’s why he came to work here at the estate. Certainly, he didn’t sign on to get exclusive sales on perfume or to babysit a grown woman – those were the jobs he’d been “tricked” into doing. (Petra was the one who interviewed him, and she swore that she mentioned that their duties included helping Miss Y/N with her gatherings and other such responsibilities, though, she always added, maybe she glossed over it more than she should’ve once she witnessed Levi’s temperament…)

But he chose to say fuck it – he would stay on just because the pay was good, he did get to clean most of his shift, and the L/N’s weren’t necessarily bad people, just occasionally superior and absurd.

He said this to himself as if he had a choice, anyway. As if he hadn’t been silently pleading in his mind that they’d hire him on – he’d struggled for far too long to get a job to be particular.

Levi also needed this job too badly to be messing around like the others did. Oulo the Dumbass and Petra the Airhead – they did their job well when they tried, but they were also long-standing at the estate; Levi could feel their eyes upon him, waiting for a mistake. The mere idea of giving them that satisfaction made him grit hit teeth and take to scrubbing the tile floor of the foyer with greater force.

Eld, the head manservant of the L/N estate, approached him nearer the afternoon. The blonde man always wore a serious face, and Levi never heard him speak unless he was telling his subordinates what to do. This encounter in the foyer was no different.

“We need water from the river,” Eld’s voice was flat as he spoke the words, and he turned away from Levi and walked off with no desire for a reply, eyes scanning the floor presumably in search of dirt.

Right. Levi stood from his hands and knees, brushing them off instinctually before grabbing his water bucket.

Stepping out of the front entrance, Levi noted the way the fresh sunset seemed to line up perfectly with the hedge-lined way that led up to the house. The golden light turned all the tall hedges into shadowy stalks. At the end of his path was a marvelous fountain that was glittering with horizon-light and rippling in the breeze. The lily pads that laid on the water’s surface also danced in the night air. Cicadas chirped all around Levi as he navigated this beautiful summer afternoon with two tin buckets and a bamboo carrying pole in hand.

It's a mile to the riverside from the estate, and yet it’s still on L/N land. Levi made the walk in silence and in little time, filled up his buckets (he even caught a Tuna fish in one of them as he let the stream fill the bucket, which he decided to let swim in the bucket in its last moments of life.)

The odd thing about this excursion, however, was what he returned to. The sun was burnt orange in the sky, the moon caressing the back side of the estate, when he saw a woman standing in the fountain.

The carrying pole was weighing on his neck and shoulders uncomfortably as either bucket of water pulled down his body with the force of gravity, but he was suddenly much more intrigued with the fact that there was a woman wading in the fountain. Levi bent down, let the buckets securely lay on the gravel, and made his way over to the fountain after putting the carrying pole down.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he shouted, “Oi! You can’t be in there.”

The closer he got to the figure, the quicker he resented his hasty words.

Damn it…

“Sorry, Mr. Ackerman, it’s just…” Your white dress floated alongside the lily pads and their blossoms. You seemed to have little regard for the state of your hem, but you had cared enough to remove your shoes before getting in, as he saw them dangling from your fingers. “It’s quite silly, actually,” you giggled, eyes never removing from the bottom of the fountain. “I dropped my ring in here.”

“Why were you playing by the fountain?”

“I wasn’t playing.” You replied. Levi could imagine in your tone that you’d even rolled your eyes at his comment. “The water was just a nice temperature, so I let my hand sit in it for a while… I had gone inside for a bit when I realized my ring was missing and this is the only place I can possibly imagine it falling off.”

Levi crossed his arms as you continued to wade through the water, weighing his options. “Why are you looking in the center, then?”

The man shrugged off his black coat and rolled up the sleeves of his undershirt. With narrowed eyes, he skirted the marble of the fountain’s edge with the tip of his middle finger. He glanced up for a moment, seeing the way you eyed his dancing fingertips against the cool stone, before focusing again on the rim of the fountain.

“If you just stuck your hand in, it’d be on the edge.”

He was looking for a glint, and it’s on the opposite side of the fountain from where he started that he saw a silver shimmer bouncing against the underside of the water’s surface. Dipping his slender arm in the warm water, he pulled out a silver ring with a jade gemstone in the center.

You reddened, your rosy cheeks complimenting the sun’s warm glow on your skin. The water was disturbed by your steps toward Levi, and you reached your hand out. He watched the way you plucked the ring from his hands, careful not to touch his fingers.

“Thank you…” You mumbled, picking up the skirts of your dress to dry the ring off and slip it back on your finger.

Levi said nothing but wiped his hand on his pants before reaching out to help you out of the fountain. You took it cautiously, and he could hear the way you sucked in a breath at the touch of his freezing cold hands against yours.

“You should’ve gotten someone to come look for it,” Levi stated as you rung out the bottom of your skirts.

“Why?”

“Uh, It’s our job.” Levi spoke the words with more snark than he meant, so he quickly added: “…Miss L/N.”

In return, you laughed. It wasn’t a giggle, or a half-hearted, generous exhalation, but a laugh.

“Right! You shall be my official ring locator, Mr. Ackerman!”

You were playful, but he did not laugh with you. It was then that he had the presence of mind to realize that his arm was dry enough to pull his sleeve down and pick up his coat from the side of the fountain where he’d placed it.

“You know…” You piped up, your voice causing him to postpone his exit. “I’ve not seen you smile once since coming here.” His back was turned to you but he still knew you were approaching him from the crunching of gravel under your shoes. “One day, I’ll make you laugh, Mr. Ackerman. The world may very well end, but I will be pleased.”

You beamed beside him, the toothy grin establishing that you were further toying with him. He didn’t appreciate it. “I know you’d like that, Miss Y/N. In a way, that’d prove the world really was yours all along, wouldn’t it?”

Your smile immediately vanished from your face, a flustered expression taking its place. Now that made Levi want to smirk, but he did not. Instead, he turned, bowed, and walked back down the hedge-lined pathway to where he’d left his two buckets at the entrance.

Though he’d left you behind, the feeling of that small win filled his chest with air. He felt good about the encounter; he’d really put you in your place…

He didn’t dare do any further soul searching on why it made him feel so good to win against you in that moment. You’d challenged him from your place of power, and he’d shut you down. It instilled a power in him he’d long forgotten existed. It felt like liberation, and he decided to not question it.

Well, not for the time being.

It had been a few days since the encounter; all of them the same as the one before, as to be expected. It was a beautiful day outside with the sun shining beautifully through the floor-to-ceiling arched windows of the library. One of the more meticulous tasks, therefore one of Levi’s favorites, was to dust the shelves of the library on a weekly basis. He was doing so then, on that gorgeous Thursday afternoon. Though, there was one thing dampening his activity: You.

You weren’t necessarily doing anything, which was the problem. He’d look over occasionally to eye the way you’ve been on the same page of that book of yours for the past half-hour. Ten minutes ago, you’d at least zoned out while your eyes remained on the page, but now they were glued to a painting on the wall opposite the couch where you sat.

This intrigued Levi because, ever since his arrival, the painting itself had caught his attention. He liked to dust it because it was a reason for him to observe it’s detail up close. The painting, framed with a luxurious, gilded frame, depicted a ballroom scene. In the center was a woman in a pink, rococo inspired dress. All the men surrounding her, also in lavish garb, all had their attention on the woman. Up close, the painter had paid awesome detail to the men’s faces – some were lovestruck, others judgmental.

So, to see you, who often read in the library with no awareness of the real world, staring at that painting with a mind full of thoughts (troublesome ones, if your brow was any signifier of your inner distress); Levi was half tempted to ask you what the matter was.

This impulsive thought had almost won out, his mouth open and inhaling air to release into speech, when he was interrupted. A voice, belonging to Petra, spoke out.

“Miss Y/N? Mr. Jaeger is here to see you.”

The air in Levi’s lungs leave him, having ultimately lost their purpose. His eyes, ever narrowed in analysis, eyed the guest.

Eren Jaeger, a rumored drunkard in the night with a certain preoccupation with many local women; he’d heard his name on occasion before being employed at the L/N estate. It was hard not to know his surname, at the least – especially when his family were leading the medical field. Levi didn’t know the logistics, nor did he really care, but the Jaeger’s had discovered some remedy for headaches, and were disgustingly rich from doing so.

Even if Levi hadn’t known him from his family’s fortune, he’d know Eren from the fact that he was betrothed to you. It was a match that, in theory, was brilliant. A doctor in training and, to simplify what your father’s profession was to the highest degree, an herbalist. He was sure you two would go on to grow many “helpful” plants in the future.

Truthfully, Levi thought you were a shit pair. Perhaps he was being hasty – he’d only laid eyes upon Eren once before, and didn’t stick around long afterward, but your dynamic was off.

“I hope you’re not completely lost to your thoughts today, Y/N.” Eren’s voice rang out through the library. Levi rolled his eyes.

“Now, how is it that you can read me so quickly?” Levi heard you reply. The man’s back was turned to the pair of you as he began dusting a marble bust near the window. His ears attuned to the sounds around him, he was unfortunate enough to be able to catch the sound of Eren kissing you before you both settled on the couch beside one another.

“It’s just easy to tell when there’s nothing going on in that pretty head of yours, is all.”

There is a pause. It is swift, and Levi only noticed because his ears twitched in search of your reply.

Then, you giggled; a sound that was soon accompanied by Eren’s deep chuckle. This made Levi turn to the backside of the statue, watching the two of you in his peripherals as you interacted.

Eren played with the fabric of your baby yellow dress, twisting, and pinching it between his slender fingers. His other arm was casted over your shoulders, utterly invasive.

You were smiling and giggling at every double-edged word that exited your fiancé’s mouth. Eyes bright, shoulders relaxed. The book you were trying to read now closed and in your lap; your fingers were grasping it so tightly that your knuckles were changing in color. Levi could barely see it from across the room, but it was true – the spine of the book was at an angle from your firm grip.

“I’ll be by for breakfast tomorrow.” Eren’s long hair was flipped over his shoulder with an abrupt movement of his head.

“Wonderful!” You cheered. “What’s the special occasion?”

Eren was silent, his green eyes scanning your face. It took him a moment before he was raising a hand from your dress to your head and pushing back a curl to stay behind your ear. “Does there have to be a special occasion? We’ll soon be spending many breakfasts together.”

Your eyes met his, and it’s then that Levi looked away.

“That’s true,” you spoke softly, “you’re always right, huh?”

Eren hummed, another audible kiss being placed upon you. Levi began taking the duster to the next bookshelf which was between the two windows as he heard Eren stand from the couch.

“I must be going,” Eren sighed, walking towards the door. “Oh, and Love?”

“Yes?”

“Do something with that eavesdropping servant before I do.” Eren’s voice was serious, intimidating almost, yet Levi had no fear in turning around to look at the man properly.

“Oh, don’t worry, Eren.” You said with a slight quiver in your voice, “he just started working here. He’ll learn soon enough.”

He’ll learn soon enough. The words crawled under Levi’s skin like an infestation in his veins. The utter condescension in the phrase… Was this what he was subjecting himself to? It was in the very phrase that he suddenly could feel the cold bars of his duty surrounding him like a cell. He was once again property; it was plainly established.

The sun set on the L/N Estate, and Levi’s mood was officially spoiled for the rest of the day. Following dinner, he simply wanted to rest and wake up the next day with this shitty feeling removed from his chest and his mind. It was much easier to work here when he forgot the very thing he was reminded of.

Though, naturally, Oluo had fucked up, as per usual, and now Levi was sent to the one place he could’ve avoided for the day: your bedroom.

See, since Levi was still a fresh hire, he was not allowed typically allowed in the bedchambers (apparently, there had been a thief in your midst only a few years ago. Ever since, precautions had been taken to ensure the honor of the staff.) But, of course, Oluo had been slacking off and hadn’t managed to clean your room by the time dinner was over. Thus, Levi stood outside your room with a broom and a scowl on his features.

Knock, knock.

“Come in?”

Opening the gilded doors to your room, he’s not surprised by what he saw. Befitting most of the estate, your walls had a delicate wallpaper; the background was tinted in a sage green, with a pattern of birch trees with white blooms and blue birds littering all around them. The room was rather smaller than he expected, but it didn’t keep you from having a decently sized bed with an intricate, green canopy overhead. The window was situated opposite the entrance, and it was there that you also had your vanity.

There you sat, your curly hair down from its usual, trendy updo. You were in your chemise, the white fabric turned golden in the candlelight.

“M’lady…” Levi said, clearing his throat, “Your room was overlooked this evening. Shall I clean it now or first thing in the morning?”

You looked at him through the reflection of your mirror, a subtle smile on your face. “You can do it now since you’ve come all this way… Thank you.”

He began on the opposite side of the room from where you sat, trying to ignore you as you hummed and brushed your hair. Though, your voice was more appealing than the cicadas outside chirping incessantly.

Even so, this was incredibly awkward – Levi wanted to shrink into himself, which was an unfamiliar feeling to him.

“You know, Mr. Ackerman,” your voice caught his attention quickly, “I am sorry for what I said today, when Mr. Jaeger called upon me.”

The apology didn’t mean much to Levi – though it was unexpected that you had the awareness.

“It’s no problem, Miss Y/N.”

“You ought to be careful around Mr. Jaeger,” Your voice is soft and when Levi slowly looked up from the floor to meet your graze in the mirror, your eyes match the gentleness. “He hasn’t much tolerance for…”

“Servants?”

Your gaze turned intense as you eyeballed him through the mirror, and he was intrigued by the way you didn’t look like yourself. The juvenile tone, the glittering in your eyes that told him you’d never known toil – that was gone. Which was the real you?

“The less fortunate… Perhaps.” You spoke the words as if they hurt to utter, “please, if he enters a room, just exit, if you can.”

Your words made the following morning ominous for Levi. Though he woke with the feeling like breakfast was going to be miserable, he still donned his black coat and dutifully made your pancakes and your father’s oysters, and some eggs and toast for the guest to come.

Because of the extra food, breakfast was served approximately fifteen minutes later than usual. By which time, all three expected seats were filled. Mister L/N in his usual seat in front of the window, eyes more focused on his word puzzle than normal, you and Eren a few seats down, beside each other and doting upon one another in a way that felt extremely impersonal. The more acquainted Levi became with your dynamic, the more he could see through it; neither of you were necessarily happy.

But you still giggled and draped yourself on Eren’s shoulder as the man beside you eyed the way Miss Maisie walked along the other end of the table with a disapproving glance.

“Mister L/N.”

“Hmm. Looks… alluring.”

Levi bowed, before making his way around the dining table.

“Mister Jaeger, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Mr. Ackerman!” You sighed, partaking in your daily ritual of inhaling the scent of your lavender syrup.

Eren, though, said nothing, poking the eggs with his fork.

“I hope they’re to your liking, Mr. Jaeger.” Levi said with a heartless drawl. “We didn’t know what you prefer for breakfast.”

“This is fine,” was his curt reply.

“Mr. Ackerman is such an amazing cook.” You boasted, “he makes my pancakes perfectly every morning! And he cleans so well.”

Eren finally swallowed a bite, letting a chortle exit his throat promptly after, “of course, Love, it’s his job. People like him must be good at cooking and cleaning.”

You looked up across the table, apparently knowing that Levi had taken his habitual spot beside the decorative table, able to see Miss Maisie devouring the tuna he’d caught a few days prior in his peripherals.

“Besides, he’s not that wonderful, I’d say.” Eren’s scrutiny officially set itself upon Levi, “he forgot to give me a drink.”

“My apologies,” Levi muttered with a bow of his torso, “what could I get you?”

“Something strong. Whiskey, perhaps?”

“This early in the morning, sir?” Levi couldn’t deny himself the jab – though your words had replayed in his head. The look on Eren’s face was enough to make him not regret it.

“Excuse you?”

“Eren—”

“Listen.” Eren stood from his seat, the legs of the chair scraping against the hardwood floor with a disgusting noise. “You’re lucky to work here, and with someone as kind as Y/N. If it were up to me—”

“But I don’t work for you. I don’t have to cook your food, or clean your shit, nor do I have to serve you alcohol at eight in the morning. You are a guest here.”

The silence sharpened itself in the following moments. Eren and Levi stared at each other like one small movement would be grounds for murder, meanwhile Levi could hear your sniffling, though it was faint.

Eren broke eye contact first as he looked down at you, back at Levi, and then headed out the door without so much as a goodbye. Levi didn’t move until he could no longer hear the stomping and heard the front door to the Estate slam. The house was extremely silent, not even the usual clambering of pots could be heard from the kitchen.

“Well,” Your father’s voice piped up, catching the fullest attention of both Levi and you, “I would say that Mr. Jaeger is quite acrimonious, no?”

The following hours allotted for cleaning weren’t giving Levi any reprieve from his thoughts. He wondered when he’d be fired – before or after dinner?

He didn’t regret what he did. If Eren flew off the handle like that while sober? Levi didn’t want Eren anywhere near you when he was inebriated. Then again, that wasn’t in his jurisdiction, so he wasn’t entirely sure why he cared.

He supposed it was disappointing, in the end. You, who was untouched by ire and plight, would be married to someone like Eren, someone of the likes which Levi was all too acquainted with; temperamental, entitled… How pitiful the circumstances truly were.

And how pitiful it was when he spotted you in the conservatory, frantically pointing at flowers and having Petra cut them as if it were an execution. He observed the way your hair and skin gleamed in the golden light of the high sun that shined through the ceiling of the conservatory. You would look like your handsome self if it weren’t for the tense wrinkling of your brow. That, Levi had never witnessed on you before.

“Miss Y/N.”

“Shall I even ask why you chose to ignore my advice, or would it be in vain?” You spoke, pointing to another pink rose. “Not just to ignore it, but to adamantly go against it.”

Levi’s eyes twitched, “You must realize that I did nothing to instigate such a response.”

“It doesn’t take anything.” You sighed, fingers gracing a white tulip as well, “I meant it – don’t interact with him. At all.”

“Why? What do you know about Mr. Jaeger that I don’t?”

“No, Miss Ral, the other sunflower, that one’s got a rotting stem.” You said, promptly ignoring Levi’s question.

“Miss Y/N,” the man insisted.

“I’m calling upon him this afternoon to fix this mistake, exclude me from dinner.” You took the basket from Petra, the woven item filled with all the premium pink roses, lilies of the valley, sunflowers, and white tulips you could muster. The basket was completely overstuffed.

He should be fuming from your patronizing tone, but he could only feel frustrations toward himself. Toward you, he felt… impressed? Perhaps it was surprise rather than impression. Had you always had this side to you? The serious, maybe even angry, part of you? Had it just been that you had no reason for these feelings to surface.

He thought about it in silence as he supervised your father’s lone dinner. Why did you care so much about his wellbeing? When had this newfound obligation on your part taken root? Was Eren truly that dangerous? Then why…?

So many complicated questions. One after the other they developed like an avalanche in his mind. Even though he felt himself suffocating under his thoughts, he did come to one grand realization – one that, maybe, he should’ve anticipated from his low expectations of you: he had greatly underestimated the breadth of your wits and your compassion.

The following morning: Levi woke up, made his bed, put his clothes on, and headed to the kitchen, just as he always did. Despite the abnormal drama of the day before, his order had not been entirely disrupted, a fact that he was entirely grateful for.

His apron snug on his narrow hips, he begins working on the oysters; the shells were completely scrubbed clean, placed hollow sides down in a pot of liquor, and then that pot was placed in water to boil. Levi can do this so quickly and without thought; a skill that, despite Eren’s ignorant speech at breakfast the day before, he hadn’t known before coming to the estate.

A satisfied smirk crept itself onto his face at the reminder that he could improve, that he was improving. July was reaching its end, and thus would mark three months of being at the Estate and he hadn’t yet been fired. He’d survived the night; he suddenly acknowledged this fact.

“Well, the sky’s not falling, it seems.” Your voice made Levi’s head whip upwards, looking at you rather than the way the rag soaked up the extra water from the counter.

“Miss Y/N… What are you doing up?”

You shrugged. You were leaned against the doorframe, your arms crossed just under your chest. You wore a pretty nightgown; white chiffon with silk underneath and a wide, blue ribbon detailed around the waist. Your hair was a mess, but somehow Levi didn’t find it as ridiculous as when Petra forgot to brush one side of her head…

“I was hoping for a snack.”

The two of you stood alone in the kitchen; Levi working on your father’s pastries and you, cutting up an apple that you found in the pantry.

Levi had offered to cut it up for you – you denied his help.

“Mr. Jaeger has forgiven you, by the way,” you said, biting into the apple with a crisp crunch.

“Oh, I’m overjoyed.”

You chuckled. It wasn’t that high-pitched giggle, or that lighthearted laugh he’d heard at the fountain. This was heavier, but a sign that you appreciated his sarcastic humor. Levi also took it to mean I’m not angry with you, and you aren’t in trouble.

You leaned over the counter from the side opposite him, watching the way his hands kneaded the dough he’d just finished mixing. Leaned over on one elbow, you let your head rest on the outer part of your folded hand – the other hand brought apple slices to your lips.

“Why do you remain engaged to him?” Levi dared to ask. “I don’t believe you senseless enough to not see his problematic tendencies.”

“Really?” You said it as if you were sincerely surprised, “You always look at me as if I have nothing of value to say.”

“Anything of value to me? You usually don’t,” Levi conceded. “But, as of late, I may be open to the idea that I had the wrong impression about you.”

You looked at him for a while. The sun started to peak through the window behind him, casting the two of you in that golden glow that seemed to follow the two of you wherever you went. It was still dark enough, though, that the candles Levi had lit upon entering the kitchen still visibly pranced across your features.

“About Eren… There are just some things we don’t have a choice in...” You whispered, eyes never leaving his as he looked up at you from the dough, “but you know that don’t you?”
He did. Hearing the words come from your lips, though, made him feel vulnerable for the first time in… Well, truthfully, he didn’t know. Had you truly found a tender crack and chiseled his heart open in such a way that he now wanted to relate to you?

He couldn’t possibly relate to you. You came from an entirely different world – you had no idea of his strife, nor he of your comfort… But when you looked at him that way, with a glance that wasn’t entirely there and felt so distant from the you he’d grown to know, he found himself wondering.

“Ah, that apple was delicious!” You exclaimed. How long had he been silent? “I’ll still take your pancakes, though, if you don’t mind!”

Yes, Levi still made your pancakes, complete with lavender syrup and in-season raspberries on top.

Over the course of the weeks leading into August, you two had become acquainted with each other in a way Levi had never expected. He would, by definition (and he did look up the term one day as he was cleaning the bookshelves), consider you a friend. It wasn’t a strong bond, but the new developments were that you would smile at him when he entered a room, and he would indulge in conversation with you more than he’d previously felt interested in.

Not that he’d completely changed his views of your lifestyle – but he realized you were fully capable of empathy which made you much more amiable in his eyes. That was, at least, when you were you – really you.

Now, he just wanted to escape from the presence of you and your friends, who had called on you for the first time since the tea party.

“Okay, okay. Now to a serious topic,” Pinky, with her shrill voice, laughed in the wake of a joke you told. “We must tell you the real reason we’ve called upon you, Y/N.”

You looked at them with a curious brow, “is everything alright?”

“Everything’s splendid. We’ve been working on this for months and keeping it a secret has been so heavy in our hearts.” Number Three said. (Levi would still call her this, despite that this time around it was just her and her sibling visiting Y/N on this day.) With her hand placed on her chest, she grinned, and Levi realized this is the most she’s even spoken in his presence.

“I’ve spoken with father – ““—We’ve spoken with father.” “Yes. We’ve spoken with him, and he’s agreed to let us sponsor a ball in Mr. Jaeger and your honor!”

“Truly?” You sounded breathless, and Levi could see the tears welling in your eyes. “You two… It wasn’t necessary…”

“Oh, but it is!” Pinky said, “you two are the most promising match in the country! Honestly, we’re lucky no one else beat us to the chance. This is going to be brilliant!”

Levi watched the way your fingers reached up to your smooth face to wipe tears away. The girls around you cooed, and hugged you, but through their arms he caught your glossy stare. It was distant, eyes blown.

“Oh, we’re so glad you’re okay with it. We already have food being imported and we’ve started inviting any and every person we can. It’s going to be the grandest ball of them all!”

“With you two planning it?” You smiled, “it’ll be nothing less than perfect.”

Thus began the hectic whirlwind of preparing for a grand ball. Levi felt for your friends’ staff, who had to prepare their ballroom as well as attend to the two girls’ needs.

Levi and the other staff members at the estate only had one woman to attend to. Above this, Petra was adamant on taking most of the work with helping you prepare for the ball. Planning hairstyles, picking dress colors and fabrics… Levi realized that this might have been Petra’s reasoning for joining your staff – for a taste of lavishness.

Levi had heard that Eren visited the estate again to confer with you about dress and other such details about the ball. By fate’s rare grace, Levi missed him completely.

Now, he found himself in a familiar position: standing outside your bedroom door with a broom and rag occupying his hands. He could hear chatter and giggling from the other side of the door.

“Come in!”

You were much more welcoming than the last time he’d knocked on your bedroom door, but it didn’t surprise him. By the sounds of it, you were in great spirits. This conclusion was further supported by the absolute mess your room found itself in – dresses of all designs, colors, and fabrics were littered all around every surface of the bedroom. The floor was covered in them to the point that you couldn’t tell there was wood underneath and your bedding looked as though you used dresses as a duvet.

“I feel as though this is a bad time to clean.”

“Hmm? Oh no, it’s perfect. This is the last dress I’m going to try on.”

“Is it the one, Miss L/N?” Petra’s eyes sparkled with excitement. From the way she smiled, Petra might as well have been the one with the expensive dress on.

“…No…” You said with an audible breath. “Mr. Ackerman, what do you think?”

With both woman’s eyes on him, he felt put under a spotlight. Levi thought you looked pretty in it, though. An intrusive, unbased thought, but one he had regardless.

“I like the color,” he answered simply.

It was a baby pink, one of your signature colors to wear. Levi concluded long ago that it was a color he never tired to see – not on you, at least. “I do too… I’m just worried because their ballroom is also painted with a light pink color…”

Levi let the broom sit against the wall nearest the door and put the rag down on the surface of your dresser as he walked over and begun picking up dresses and hangers as he found them.

“How about white?” He spoke, holding up a stately dress that had been discarded on your bed, “You are to be a bride, right?”

You smiled, looking over at Petra. “Miss Ral, can you go find Miss Maisie for dinner? And prepare her a tuna fish, please.”

“Of course.” The maid curtsied, exiting the bedroom without hesitance.

It was silent for moment as Petra closed the door behind her. You moved as though you were gliding as you made your way over to Levi’s side, admiring the dress laid out before you both.

“We actually ruled this one out from the start.” You chuckled.

Levi rolled his eyes – he was no fashion expert. He wore the same thing every day, so there was no need to exercise such skills.

“But you like it? Do you think I’d look best in it?”

“Are you just fishing for a compliment?”

You laughed heartily at his rebuttal, “perhaps. It would feel very special indeed, coming from you who rarely sings even minute praises.”

Hands reached out to grab the dresses Levi had managed to already put on hangers. “I’ll help you with the dresses. We spent all morning trying them on.”

“Then, are you looking forward to the ball after all?” Levi inquired as you headed into your walk-in closet.

He didn’t get an immediate reply, but it eventually came, “were you under the impression that I wasn’t excited from the beginning?”

“Anyone with eyes and reason could tell you weren’t excited about the ball.”

You emerged from the closet empty-handed and without expression. You watched him from that distance, arms crossed around your chest.

“Leave the white dress out, okay?”

Levi wasn’t going to say anything more about the ball. You two remained close to one another; you always happened to be in the room Levi was cleaning for some reason of your own.

This night was no different. The sky fell to darkness and once again you both were alone, this time you were on the couch in the library as he reshelved some books you and your father had read throughout the week. It wasn’t until he’d checked up on you in his peripherals for the third time in fifteen minutes, just to see you still staring off at that painting, that he decided that he was, indeed, going to say something.

“What’s on your mind?”

You exhaled, “You… What you asked me that morning in the kitchen…” Levi observed the agitation of your hands once he turned around. “The ball… It makes it real, doesn’t it? I must marry him.”

“But you’re scared to, aren’t’ you? You don’t want to admit that you don’t want to marry him… Do you?”

You were crying suddenly. Levi was unsure of what do to besides close the doors to the library, giving the two of you your privacy, and taking a spot beside you on the couch; he was far enough away that it was proper, but his presence was still tangible.

He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a handkerchief just for you, which you take.

“I just…” You sobbed, a shaky inhale that filled your lungs with short bursts, “I feel so trapped in it all. Any girl would count themselves blessed to be his betrothed, and to have friends as caring as mine but… Ugh, so why do I feel so suffocated?”

Trapped. That was a feeling that Levi could empathize with. He could tell from the way you twisted the lace handkerchief in your shaking hands that you were feeling what he felt for years. He also knew that he needed to do something quickly – anything to get you calm before the trapped feeling increased and devolved into something more alarming.

“Tell me about the painting.” He requested, scooting closer to you, and pointing to the painting on the wall. “You always stare at it… Is it important?”

You breathed hard, mustering a nod as your hazy eyes looked up at the painting. “Father bought it for me when I was a girl. I was – I was so adamant that the woman in pink was me.”

Levi stared at the painting as if he hadn’t seen it more times than he could count over the course of the summer. There was a physical likeness, he must admit.

“Perhaps it was just what I aspired to be, though.” You swallowed, “I identify with her less and less as I progress in age.”

“Why is that?” Levi didn’t know where the soft tone within him emerged from, or why it felt like second nature in this moment. He was typically brash, unfeeling… But now, in this moment, he wanted to understand you.

“She’s herself, isn’t she? Standing in the middle of a ballroom, not a care for the looking men around her. She is present in a moment that belongs to her because she wields it.” Levi tilted his head, as if that would make him see your bowed face any better. “Me? I am a mirage of her in that way… Am I wrong? People think I am her, but I’m not.”

“I know you are not yourself around other people, yes.”

“But I am with you, someone just short of a stranger.” This insight made you chuckle darkly, “I wonder why.”

“Because, for whatever reason, you seem to care for me.” Levi said.

And I care for you, too, I think. His heart longed to admit it, but his brain was still reconciling with the idea. The facts were damning, though. He’d never been this way with anyone before; never been one to console others when they were teary-eyed or keep them from hysterics. He’d save someone in peril – he had done that quite a few times in his life – but this was different.

“I do…” You choked out another soft laugh, “against my better judgement, perhaps.”

He felt the sudden and impossible-to-ignore urge to kiss you. Plump lips, vexed from the act of crying, tempted him against his better judgement. He wasn’t impulsive, though, and knew what issues would arise from doing such a thing. So, instead, he talked.

“I came here after being imprisoned for five years. You know this?”

You nodded, “it was rumored, yes.”

“Do you know the reasoning behind my imprisonment?” At this, you shook your head ‘no.’

As you lifted the handkerchief to wipe at your cupid’s bow, he inhaled. “Before I was in prison, I was a bit of a patron at a bar. I don’t drink, but my friend Hange loved to go in there and pick up women on the weekends; I tagged along to make sure they were safe until they left.”

“That is kind of you.”

“But” Levi breathed, “there was this one man who always was a bit hostile. It was fine because he’d pick a fight with the men there over something idiotic and it’d diffuse as the night went on. I didn’t know his name, or where he came from – not then, anyway. I knew he was trouble, that was all.

But this one night, he picked a fight with a woman. A young barmaid who had only just arrived. She did nothing wrong, yet this man was adamant on bullying her. And that went on for a bit – verbal abuse on his part as the rest of the bar either tried to ignore it or decided on whether to intervene or not. I think we all hoped that he would just move on. Then, he laid a hand on her.”

Levi’s fists clutched in his lap without his consent, the memory replaying in his head all too vividly. You slipped your gentle, warm hand over his with encouragement.

“So, I hit him until he was unconscious. Just… Completely assailed him. That wasn’t my mistake, though. Had it been a man like me, it would’ve ended quietly with him leaving the bar and never coming back. But this man, this prideful man, he was wealthy enough to take me to court. Owned farmland just outside of town, or something of the sort. Initially, I’d been sentenced to thirty days in jail for assault; he paid my way into five years in prison.”

“Levi…” You spoke his first name so tenderly; it was the first time you’d ever done so, and it didn’t go unnoticed by him or his heavy heart.

“I tell you this because I am glad you’re not like them.” Levi continued, “They would want you to be completely without compassion for others. You should not care about me, Y/N,” saying your name, without the formalities, left a tingling underneath his skin. “But you do. You do.”

“I do.” You repeated once more, your voice quivering. You hand lingered on his, and he allowed your warmth to stay there until your sinuses cleared, until his heart slowed, until you both parted for bed.

Levi saw little of you after that – not until the night of the ball. The only reassurance he received that you were still lingering somewhere in the estate was a vase filled with flowers left on his nightstand, placed there while he was out some time later in the week. He knew it had to be you, especially since Petra would never have the forethought nor the reason to place a baby pink ribbon around the neck of the vase.

Oulo teased him, but Levi didn’t let his stupidity concern him or ruin your act of good faith. Not that he really had the time to let much of anything concern him; you, in yet another act of good faith, had offered your staff to your friends to aid in setting up the ball. Petra was asked to stay behind to help you prepare for the dance, but all the men were set off in a carriage immediately following breakfast.

The Reeves Manor (Levi had finally learned their surname. Apparently, their father was Dino Reeves, a renowned merchant in the city.) was impressive, to say the least. Corinthian columns loomed over the entrance, which lead to a marbled foyer. The home was clearly influenced by the renaissance, and French culture in total. If Levi ever believed the L/N Estate to be overly flamboyant, he wasn’t quite sure what to call this.

The ballroom, just as you had told him, was a light pink color. The walls were wainscoted and decorated in other such gold and white details. The checkered floors had already been polished, and the tables were being lined along the windowed wall. It was the picture of luxury and, while Levi felt out of place, he knew your eyes would be glittering at the ambience.

“Thanks.” A Reeves maid mumbled, taking the second bouquet of flowers from Levi’s arms and placing them strategically on the tables.

“Thanks.” She said again once she was ready for the next.

“… Thanks.” She said again.

“How about you thank me when we’re done.” Levi grumbled, staring out the large arched windows.

“Oh… Sorry…” She blushed. Her brown hair was all messy on her head, and it only perpetuated Levi’s conclusion that she was perpetually jumbled. “Ooh! Want a sandwich?”

She’d picked up a tea sandwich and stuck it nearly centimeters from Levi’s face. “No.”

“Hmph!” She made the noise as she shrugged and promptly stuck the entire sandwich in her mouth.

“Sasha! If there’s food in your fucking mouth right now…!” Another servant with an ugly shaved head walked by, pointing, and shouting at the woman.

“Mmhat? ‘M jus’ pu’in ‘his here!” She barely spat out between the bread and cucumber and grabbed a bouquet from Levi’s hands.

Levi scoffed; seems like foolishness wasn’t exclusive to the L/N staff. Even so, he had to be impressed by their work ethic. Save for ‘Sasha,’ who consumed at least five more sandwiches before Levi was relieved of bouquet duty, and for the blonde kid who sat in the corner looking brooding at everyone, they worked hard. He was sure, too, that those lazy kids would soon learn how it all works. In a moment of uncharacteristic optimism, he was hopeful in the future of these people who’d all found themselves in the same predicament as himself.

By the time guests began to arrive, the sun had disappeared over the mountains. Candlelight glowed from every corner of the manor, all the chandeliers had been dusted and lit as well. Levi had hoped he could sneak to the food table more subtly than Sasha had (surely, he could eat his fill and no one would miss a thing, right? There was so much of it, after all…)

Eld seemed to catch  the faint hope in his eyes and, as Eld often did, sought to crush it.

“Levi! Stop gawking at the food like a fatass and help guests out of their carriages.”

Eld pissed Levi off just by entering a room, mainly because whatever he said, Levi had to comply. So now, Levi stood outside in the night breeze, hearing the violins and flutes tuning up from inside as carriages began to pull up to the entrance. Levi offered a gloved hand to the women and men in attendance, all of whom were in excellent spirits.

Levi wondered how many of them knew you, or Eren, on a personal level. Certainly, not everyone was even aware of why there was a celebration. With each hand that contacted his, he remembered exactly why he hated the upper class so fervently – that hadn’t changed despite coming to care about you. It was just that… He supposed he really did care for you. Or, at least, you were special in a way he couldn’t place.

Your family’s light green carriage arrived fashionably late. He was anxious to see you, to see your smiling face once again ignited by that juvenile glow he’d once found obnoxious. If you were in a happy-enough disposition to feign innocence well, that was enough for him.

He opened the door for you and caught eyes with Eren instead. The man was dressed extremely well, to the point that it was unsettling considering the temperament Levi had come to know of him. What’s more, he smelled too strongly of cologne and… alcohol.

Levi stepped to the side, allowing Eren the room to stride into the night air first. The man staggered a bit but wore a dopey grin regardless.

“Mr. Jaeger!” A group of men immediately swarmed the man, carrying him away as if he were caught in a tornado.

Levi looked back in the carriage, thinking maybe you had arrived separately. This was not the case, though, and in the dark carriage interior you sat in the white dress Levi had picked out. You were wringing your hands again through the fabric of your satin gloves, and the man exhaled.

“Are you nervous?”

“How is it that you can read me so well?”

He clicked his tongue, “Ah, stop messing around. There’s a line.” The words were blunt, but his voice wasn’t angry with you. You looked at him, eyes round and shining, just as he imagined them to be.

He took his glove off, reaching inside the carriage. “Take my hand.”

You did so, your gloved hand sliding tenderly against his bare skin. The fabric sent a shiver down his spine, pulling you gently as you emerged into the light of the evening.

The dress was faultless – Levi couldn’t help but think so. The empire waistline, the puffy sleeves, the flow of your skirts – it was incredibly fashionable and handsome on you. And he’d never tell Petra, but your hair was gorgeous too. All the curls seemed to fall in all the right ways, some allowed to flow down your back while the rest was pinned to your head.

Levi had, quite literally, seen everyone in attendance; you were the belle of the ball – no doubts rested in his mind or his heart.

His hand had somehow ended up on your waist, holding you steady as you gathered your footing on solid ground. Levi’s hand pulled away as if you were hot to the touch.

“Will I see you inside?”

Levi shrugged, “perhaps. I will be out here for a while, though, if you need me.” The carriage wheeled off as you passed him a small nod.

It was another hour and a half or so before Levi concluded that everyone who was planning to attend had shown up. It was an impressive outcome of at least eighty people. Had he just not known the social significance of you, Eren, or the Reeves family? Truthfully, he never did care for the affairs of the likes of these people; this should not be a surprise.

The orchestra had struck up within this time, too, and had even played some songs Levi had overheard you play from the drawing room once or twice. Not that he was a fan of music enough to know names and composers, but he could allow himself to appreciate a tune for tonight. It was a unique feeling hearing a song you’d played humbly on the piano-forte through the craft of an organized orchestra. The violins, cellos, and wind instruments created the perfect atmosphere for dancing, romance, and, in some cases, grazing nonstop on the food.

Levi knew that it was improper for him to help himself to the food and beverages while working, but he’d heard that these kinds of gatherings could go on until breakfast time! Not that he thought you would stay the entire time, but that was going to be his excuse if any of his coworkers gave him grief about enjoying a cup of tea.

The bitter tea did nothing for his mood, however, when he saw you dancing. How was it that you knew all of the dances, and did them perfectly, yet still stood out? You laughed with rosy cheeks and skin that looked so smooth in the radiance of the ballroom. When Levi thought of you, it was this version of you he saw, when basking in warm light. Golden, youthful, so blissful as though you were Aphrodite herself. Not that he believed in gods, but he did believe in you and the way you made him feel.

How could he do this to you? To himself?

How could he fall in love with you like this?  Levi never considered himself foolhardy, or a dreamer – none of these things. Yet, when he wakes in the morning and sees flowers you’d picked for him on his nightstand, he wants that for the rest of his life. He found himself longing for days when he could sit beside you in silence, reading books in the library for as long as you two wished. He wanted to promise to endure your mediocre piano playing, your clumsiness, the scent of your lavender syrup, even that fucking spoiled cat for the rest of his life as long as when you existed beside him, you were you.

But this cannot be. For the same reason he couldn’t kiss you that night in the library despite every morsel of his being pleading with him. Please, please allow us this. Allow us to love.

He was a felon, by definition, and a poor one at that. He had no prospects, and to love you would be to trap you in a life that you weren’t suited for. In the end, no matter how overjoyed he would be to have you, he prioritized your happiness above all else.

He was envious of Eren Jaeger in more ways than one; the most prominent in this moment was how completely wasted he was. Levi hated alcohol, but at least it would have alleviated this dread he’d come to impose on himself.

He had to take a break, to get himself away from where he could see you. He headed out of the ballroom and to the foyer. The number of people was scarcer here, and he could breathe fresh air, but it wasn’t enough peace. He walked further through the manor, looking for the grand staircase where he could sit. If the foyer was scarce, the staircase was desolate. The music sounded far-off like a dream. A dream that withheld you from him.

The solitude Levi found in the staircase was only momentary, as a stumbling echoed against the marble floor, and he saw Eren with a woman, unfamiliar to Levi, on his waist.

“You,” Eren slurred, pointing faintly at the black-haired man. “God, I fucking hate you. You know that?”

“Yeah? I fucking hate you too.”

Eren let out a boisterous, drunken laugh. He dismissed the girl with a kiss on the cheek, and though he was several feet away from Levi, he could still catch infrequent whiffs of alcohol.

“You’re so pathetic,” Eren spat, “can’t even handle your shit like a real man. Y/N had to bribe me with flowersto keep me from killing you.”

Levi crossed his arms, refusing to spend any more time looking at Eren. No matter what ridicule the man had for him, at least he wasn’t the one completely intoxicated.

“And I look at your face that looks like you aren’t satisfied with shit in your life, and then you do nothing about it, and I just wanna beat it to pieces. Bam, bam—”

“Are you trying to make a point?” Levi growled.

“Yeah. Yeah, I got a point.” Eren ran his finger over his nose as he sniffed, “I really don’t care what you do. You can fantasize about her, sweet talk her – hell, you can fuck her for all I care. God knows I will fuck whoever I want to! But know your place when it comes to me.”

“My place?”

“You’re no-nothing but a serf; you know nothing of true autonomy; of freedom. You know why you’re there and I’m here? Because I have fucking balls. I wanted to be at the top, so I played the game. Marrying a wealthy girl with prospects, having balls thrown in my honor? I’ve won. Can you say the same?”

Levi looked at the swaying man once more, eyes narrowed so intensely at Eren’s every move. “That is what makes you my superior? You think you’re free?”

Eren hiccupped, “at least you aren’t stupid.”

Levi felt as such, though. He felt so stupid for allowing himself to become entangled in all of this. But if Levi was stupid, Eren was completely without sense. Even without the drink, he would be hopelessly daft.

Eren walked away from Levi seconds later without any more slander, apparently bored. Levi was grateful for that, at least, because he wasn’t in the mood to fight.

Especially not when there was a sudden shuffling from behind an archway adjacent to the staircase sent his heart to the pit of his stomach. Shuffling, then sniffling, and he saw you appear from the shadows, eyes just as red as your cheeks.

“Y/N?”

“I… You left and I couldn’t find you. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop…”

“Y/N…” You name came as a whisper from his lungs as he stood and made his way over to you.

You harshly grabbed onto the fabric of his coat to pull him close and wept into his chest. All he could think to do in the moment was rub your back tenderly as it shook with uneven sobs. “I’d very much like to go home.”

“I’ll prepare the carriage at once.”

Your despondent gaze left no questions in Levi’s heart; the world was so cruel to those who deserved it the least. Seeing you so bereft instilled within him only stronger feelings of already great sorrow and hopelessness.

Levi had decided to speak to your father at once upon arriving back at the estate. It was not in his jurisdiction to do so, not legitimately, but he would be damned if he did nothing about what transpired that night. The things Eren said were not for you to hear, and undoubtedly would scar your mind. There must be something he could conjure up, some grand scheme, to get Eren out of your life.

“Are you heading to bed, Levi?”

It was the first thing you had uttered since leaving the Reeves Manor. Your voice cracked when you spoke, and Levi felt his heart do the same in time with each unsteady quiver of your words.

“No. Do you need me?”

You nodded, “can you run me a bath, please?”

He did so without delay. Making sure that the water was perfectly hot, grabbing you the freshly cleaned linens that had been placed in the closet only a day prior, and even taking some of the flowers from the bouquet you had made for him and putting the petals on the bath’s surface. He figured a show of thoughtfulness, however cliché, would be valuable after the night you had.

Did you really hear all what Eren had said? The words alone made them unfit for a lady like yourself to hear, but recalling the way he’d treated you in speech? With such dismissal for you as a human being? Levi continued to fear that the words would never be erased from your memory, and that you would be crushed under the pressure of simply knowing they were uttered.

He put extra petals in for final measure.

“Y/N.” He was speaking to you gently as he peaked his head out from behind the screen, as if you would shatter if his icy words cut through the air as they usually did.

You placed the final pin down on the vanity, a sizable pile of them sitting there to be put away later. Your hair was now free of tailored appearances; it flowed the way it was designed to by nature.

“Are you okay with helping me with my dress?”

He walked over to you as you turned your back to him and moved your hair out of the way. His lithe fingers fiddled with the strings of your dress, taking his time to undo them with nothing but gentility.

More and more of your skin revealed itself to him; smooth skin that he wanted to run his fingertips along.

He stepped away, though, when the dress was only clinging to your body because you were holding the front of it to your chest.

“Anything else, Miss Y/N?”

You spun around, your healthy skin still flushed in all the proper ways. “Would you…” You chuckled, pushing your hair behind your ear with your free hand. “Could you bathe me? I’m just tired and sore… From the dancing.”

This particular request left Levi a bit catatonic. It wasn’t like he was opposed to it, but he worried for you. The long night you had endured… Did you really wish this of him or were you coping somehow?

“Are you sure?”

You nodded with a small bounce of your head. “I’ll disrobe and get in the bath, then you can come.”

So, you did. Levi’s hands trembled and his legs shook, but he eventually found his place beside the tub in a wooden, creaky chair, dipping the washcloth in the water before scrubbing your back tenderly. For a while, the two of you exchanged no words. Levi admired the way you pushed the petals in the bath around or placed them in patterns on your bent knees which were peeking out of the water. 

“You see, now, why I wished you to keep your distance from Mr. Jaeger.”

Levi let his ring finger catch onto your hair, moving it from your neck with a light touch that made you shiver. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, Y/N.”

You shook your head, “Do not be… I know I certainly am not.”

You reached a hand up out of the water and placed it over his which caressed the nape of your bare neck. You leaned your head to the side, letting your cheek lay against his cold, wet hands.

“Y/N…” Levi’s deep voice breathed your name in a way neither of you had heard before. “This is…” Improper? Overwhelming? What was he even going to say?

“You’re right; I do not wish to marry him. He is cruel, unfaithful… and…” You turned, the water swishing about. Levi stared into your eyes with concentration, fearing to accidentally look somewhere he shouldn’t. “Levi, I must admit it to you now; my heart has found itself placed elsewhere entirely.”

“Don’t speak this way.” Levi warned with stern voice as he slipped his hand away from underneath your face. You reached out, catching his wrist.

“Why not? We are honest with each other, are we not? Levi… You are a good man, an honest and hardworking man. If you do not feel the same, please tell me so, but I hold such admiration for you that I must tell it to you plainly regardless of whether it is requited.”

“Y/N.” His heart ached… Were his eyes watering as well? “You know what I am. I am poor, I spent five years in prison—”

“For doing nothing wrong! Eren walks as a free man and who knows what—”

“Still! You, of all people, should know. To associate yourself with me… I can’t do it to you.” His voice cracked, sending your mouth agape. He had long forgotten what it felt like to weep, what with the lump in his throat and the stinging of his nose.

You reached up, caressing his face with a wet hand. A draft blew against his skin, sending him goosebumps.

“Levi.” You rested your hand just below his jawline. “Don’t you understand me?”

His steel-colored eyes met yours and, in his vulnerability, his face contorted into confusion. You raised yourself out of the water a bit more. “I’d spend an eternity disgraced from society if it meant I could be myself with you. If you’d asked me three months ago, I would not have had the same answer; you changed me. I can’t go back to being without you… You understand? I’m no longer the woman that could’ve lived without you.”

His skin was alight, and his heart was burning with the feeling of relief. Telling you no, denying you both the love you desired; it hurt to an unbearable degree. But you were adamant – you were fighting for this.

“Levi, may I kiss you?”

“Please.” He was unsure if he was pleading to you, or to himself.

And you did; just in the way he would imagine you to kiss. Defenseless and awkward was this uncharted territory for the pair of you, but it felt okay. It was as if inexperience wasn’t just allowed but preferred.

At some point along the way, the washcloth in his hand had been discarded somewhere. His hands were full of you, looking up at you as you emerged from the water and soaked his lap in floral water. Some of the petals even remained stuck to your skin; Levi had no desire to remove them for you.

Your arms were wrapped around his neck, completely baring yourself to him in the dark corner of your bedroom.

“This is improper.” He said, hands running up and down the curves of your waist. “We really shouldn’t…”

“Do you not want to?”

Levi deflated, sliding down a bit in the chair. “It’s not that.”

You pushed his black hair back, the water making it stay there. You’d never really seen his forehead before, his hair always laying just over his eyebrows, adding to his brooding demeanor. You kissed his forehead. “I want to… But I won’t do anything without your permission.”

Levi stared deep into your eyes. No hint of malice, or deceit, were found within them. He loved the way your eyes shined, and always missed the glimmer when they didn’t. It was the luster of your eyes, your “windows to the soul,” that enticed him to lean forward and kiss your collarbone wordlessly.

A labored breath filled your lungs at the touch of his lips on your collar; Levi felt dizzy from the way your sternum moved against his lips in anticipation. Was he going to pass out right now? He’d never felt so unsteady – it was as if the world around him was crumbling and all that remained was your body, his, and the chair which dug uncomfortably into his back.

“Say it, please.” You whimpered, keening into his motions. He gripped your hips tighter, calloused fingers pulling your mound closer to his subtle erection. “Say that you want me like I want you…”

Swallowing thickly, he removed his mouth from the top of your cleavage. “I do. Fuck… I want all of you forever.”

He caught your eye after he spoke the words, knowing how uncharacteristic they were for him. He meant it though, every word. Though, of course, he currently meant it in the sense that he wanted to make love to you. But he recognized the many facets to his words – he meant them all.

“Then you shall have me, forever.”

You kissed him once more in your uniquely intoxicating way, both your hands sprawled across the expanse of his round cheeks to keep his lips at your mercy. He felt the temperature difference between his rouged face and your chilled hands. Perhaps he should dry you off, first.

“Wait…”

“Levi~”

“Don’t be a brat; You should dry off before you catch a cold.”

“Ever the caretaker, I see.”

Levi reached beside him, pulling the linens he’d grabbed before and going over your skin with care. He no longer felt shame for ogling, paying attention to every freckle, bump, and scar on your body. He took his time drying your arms, your hair (he’d completely ruffled it, physically having no reaction to your playful laughter but feeling every emotion related to admiration in his heart), and, finally, he led his towel-covered hands to rest on the mounds of your breasts. The chill air had your nipples erect – Levi gulped at the feeling of them poking from underneath the fabric.

“Levi…” You whined, shifting in his lap a bit. Your core had risen in temperature, and it was ever present in Levi’s mind how warm you were making his cock.

His hands wedged themselves under your breasts, letting the water underneath get absorbed by the cloth. He admired the way his hands held each breast perfectly. Were you made for him, after all?

“Have you ever…” You suddenly inquired, fingers toying with the strings of his undershirt. The cotton had been completely soaked in your ministrations, clinging to his stomach, and even giving you a peek of his abs as the fabric was light in color.

“Once.” He admitted, “Piety isn’t so important in my society.”

You nodded. “That’s okay. I just ask that you be patient with me… I’ve never…”

“I know. I’ve got you.”

You beamed, and for a moment he was reminded of all he’d once thought of you. He’d used words like dull, arrogant, idiotic… How wrong he was – he realized it now. You weren’t deceptive, you were surviving.

This was Y/N L/N when you felt secure. Witty, sarcastic, the girl who loved to read books and eat sweets. You were pretty, yes, but that was only one part of you.

What allowed him to take your hands, allowed you to lead him to your bed, was not lust. It was something greater, a little less familiar, and much harder to come by. To say it was love was cliché, though not far from the truth. If he had to name it, it would be trust; trust that you would not betray him, that this was not a trick. You had meant every word, just as he had.

You sat on the edge of your bed, fiddling with the drawstrings on his damp trousers as he pulled his shirt off for you. He was completely bare to you now, as you had been for him. Everything about this exchange was equal and fair. Trust. Security.

Levi now sat kneeled on the side of the bed, your cunt directly in his line of sight. He’d never seen something so pretty (though, he’d been telling himself that every time he saw a new part of you.)

“Don’t move too much.” He commanded, hooking his arms underneath each of your legs. He noticed the way they shook against his biceps, and he let his hands reach around to your pelvis, rubbing circles into your skin to help sooth your nerves.

“Tell me to stop if you wish.”

“I won’t, but okay.” Your voice was shaking, too, but that didn’t stop you from being facetious – he scoffed as he leaned in, the rush of air against your heat making your breath quicken.

Levi began with bold licks to your clit, sampling your taste. A groan left his throat in response, an act of which he ridiculed himself for as each noise he made drowned out yours in his ears. He’d quickly realized how vocal you were going to be, how good you were planning to be for him.

Words would’ve been wasted time, so he didn’t say all the things which ran through his mind. Instead, he worked on making you jump above him. Each suck made you choke, every twist of his tongue leading you to push against him harder. You were so reactive.

“I’m going to insert a finger, okay?”

“God, do whatever you want.”

He allowed himself a smirk, knowing you were too preoccupied to look down and tease him about it. He took his right arm, unhooked your leg, and brought it to your glistening cunt. His nimble fingers ran up and down, up and down, collecting your wetness. You were humming from above, an occasional syllable of his name sometimes being able to be picked up in the string of noises.

You were so warm, and he was always so cold. He noticed how you jumped the first time his fingertip entered your hole, and again sometime later when he inserted another; he wanted to apologize for the shock, but there was something so true about it all – You were so warm, and he was always so cold, and maybe he envied you for that, in the beginning.

“Nngh, that’s so – hhhm.”

You were so warm, and he was always so cold. You were all smiles, and laughter that carried through the wind, and bouquets of flowers in baskets and in vases. He was made of cleaning solution, and callouses, and scars on the knuckles that were plunged deep inside of you. In and out they moved, those scars peeking at him through your sheen.
He’d gotten those scars from that night; he remembered thinking he’d gone too far once the skin never returned to its former color and, rather, stayed white. Now, he was pleasuring you with the same hand, showing you in the purest form of intimacy that he chose you.

So often, he thought of resigning to who he’d once become. Prison was hell – there was no other way to phrase it. Men were cruel, nothing like you, and five years in such an environment made him fearful – he was filled with unadulterated fear. But you’d given him respite. You didn’t value him because of his strength, or his coldness. You loved him for his pancakes. His Fucking pancakes.

He drank you in more, the noises vulgar as he slurped and schlicked your way to your first orgasm. He would give you his all because, in the end, it was what you’d earned from saving him.

“Huh, Levi it’s… I think I’m gonna…”

He pumped his fingers wildly within you and did not cease his assault on your clit with his mouth. He wanted to see you, to hear you. God, when did he become such a goddamn cliché romantic? It would sicken him if it were anyone else but you.

When you came, he was thinking about how he was so glad it was you he’d just finished pleasuring. Your flushed face, the way your hands entangled themselves in his hair at the last minute, as if he were the one thing that you felt could ground you. He’d never allowed himself to love another like this, finding it inconvenient and, yes, cringeworthy. Not with you, though.

A few tears pricked your eyes and slid down the sides of your face. He stood up, looking down at you as you smiled up at him. Your heaving chest, the way that his cock was now resting on your stomach, fully erect and almost pained with need. It was beautiful.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against his will. The thought had manifested itself into spoken words; words which seemed to touch your very soul.

“Please kiss me again.” You sniveled, leaning up until you were sitting and wrapping your arms around the man’s neck and pulling him toward you. Closer, closer, it never felt like enough.

You reached down blindly, not willing to break from his lips, and began ghosting your hand over his cock. Each glide of your fingertips over his veins made his cock throb harder.

“You’re beautiful, too.” You spoke against his lips; the words being fed to him. They tasted so new, so sweet.

He thrusted against your palm a bit, smearing some of his precum onto your hand. He didn’t mean to – it was just… Your words. They had sent tingles from his lips to his ears, to his brain, to his spine, to his cock. Your words alone pleasured him, making you dangerous.

“Lay back down.”

You did so, lying flat along the foot of your bed until Levi reached over and grabbed you a pillow, placing it under your head. He didn’t miss the tired smile you held, nor the way it made his heart flutter.

“I’ll be slow,” he mumbled, voice deeper and raspier than it normally was. “Tell me whatever you need to.”

“I love you,” you muttered.

He exhaled, his eyes which always seemed analytical felt different as he gazed down upon your glowing figure. You were an angel… You must have been.

“And I, you.” He replied, pushing a strand of hair back from your sweating forehead.

His grey eyes returned to where his cock laid in waiting against the slick heat of your entrance. The both of you were throbbing in eagerness; he could feel the muscles all around your inner thighs tensing, and relaxing, only to tense up again.

He gripped himself, rubbing his tip around your hole before aligning himself and beginning to push forward. He could hear you hiss and the sound of your hands gripping the fabric.

“Slower, please. Feels strange.”

Levi hummed, continuing to push within you but at a slower rate. “I’ve got you, baby.”

He reached underneath your dangling legs and rubbed the tender skin to comfort you, constantly shutting his eyes tightly from just how lovely you felt. Smooth, velvety, and warm, warm, warm.

He whimpered out once he’d reached halfway, the sound causing your tight cunt to convulse around him.

“Hmm… Sound so pretty,” you slurred. Your mouth never closed after you spoke the words. He loved the way your eyebrows knitted together as you stared down your body and watched him enter you.

“Feel okay?”

“Mhm. You’re faultless, truly.”

No. That was you. He was composed of faults. But you? You were able to seal those cracks within him more than he ever could. He’d never ask it of you, of course, but he knew you would do it anyway. That’s just who you were.

He dragged his cock back, feeling the way you enveloped and rubbed him in just the way he needed without even having to try. You moaned, lifting your back off the bed as you attempted to press yourself back onto his cock. He pinned you down, though, by the midsection of your stomach. Right where your waist dipped in, that’s where his hands belonged.

Levi began fucking up into you with concentration. His hair had fallen back onto his face, pulled by the gravity of his bent head as he refused to take his eyes from how you were conjoined. The noises, too, were almost too much to bear as they filled the room. So slick, so filthy; he felt another rush of pleasure shoot from his cock to his throat. Another whine escaped him, a bit higher in pitch, to which you reacted by moaning once more. He watched your hands slide up and to your bouncing breasts, groping them.

He felt himself shift, then. Though he could ponder upon how much he loved you forever, you’ve just ignited something much more impious within him with your ministrations. He couldn’t help himself as he tightened his grip on your waist, seeing his fingers indenting your skin, and he thrusted harsher into you. By the way you yelped, covering your mouth, and rolling your hips forward, he can tell you didn’t mind.

He did it again, and again. Though he wasn’t brutalizing or quick in pace, the pair of you felt that the pleasure was devastating. Levi threw dignity out the window – cursing, whimpering, rumbling as he wished. You had devolved into tears, fully this time, but you made no attempt to stop him from his tantalizing force.

Levi was close to release, feeling the way his thighs grew numb and his balls strained. The power behind his thrusts were discarded for quicker, shallower dips inside your hole. 

“’Vi – I can’t – hmph, it’s so good.”

Your praise spurred him on, pushing him to drill further into you. He couldn’t seem to get close enough to you; Levi wanted to be closer, and when he did, it still wasn’t enough. Perhaps he would only be satisfied if he melted into you, becoming one.

His slender hand left your waist, sliding over your stomach and resting in the space between your breasts. He could feel the thrumming of your heart, the most beautiful evidence that you were alive.

His abdomen coiled, and his breath hitched in his throat as you reached your second orgasm. Your chest lifting once more, his hand rising with you. The way you trembled around his cock broke him – you were still shaking when he pulled his hips back and shot his cum on your stomach.

He breathed heavily as his vision came back, the clarity following such a clouded, lustful mind felt like he’d dipped into an icy bath.

“Are you alright?”

You tossed him a hazy smirk, your eyes drooping. “’M good… Sleepy… Sore.”

“Let me clean you, then you can sleep.”

He left your side for the first time in two hours. Walking the few steps to where the towel had long been discarded on the floor, he wasted no time in wiping his cum from your stomach and breasts.

“Does it always feel like that?” You asked, “so divine, I mean?”

Levi shook his head. “No. Not in my experience.”

“You felt it too, then?” Levi helped you sit up, one hand clasping yours and the other rubbing your back.  The cicadas outside could finally be heard again, a silence following over the estate as it grew deeper into the night. He didn’t answer you because he wasn’t sure what to say. Could he even admit it to himself that he had felt the same?

“Do you want to stay?” You inquired him further after he couldn’t seem to muster a reply. “You can, you know.”

Levi pulled his pants back up, his shirt tucked expertly in them. “You know I can’t. You’re still to be Y/N Jaeger, as far as the world is concerned.” Fully clothed, the towel in hand, and his dirty hair fixed as much as he could, he kissed your forehead gently. “And yet, I love you as if you’re mine.”

The sun rose upon the next morning and Levi woke in his cot, alone, as he always did. Rising before everyone else, he made his bed, got dressed, and went to the kitchen to prepare your father’s oysters and pastries – as he always did.

Your father was punctual in getting to the dining room by the time Levi was done cooking.

“Hmm… Looks… succulent.” Your father decided. Levi thought that word was impressive, simply because he wouldn’t think of it as a synonym of delicious but… It made sense.

And you walked down some time later, a nightgown having been put on your body at some point in the night. You blushed upon meeting Levi’s eyes but remained collected.

“Pancakes smell delightful as always, Mr. Ackerman.”

“Thank you.”

Miss Maisie passed Levi on her way to her bowl which had already been filled with fresh tuna. He let her brush his leg with her side.

“How was last night, Y/N?” Your father asked, “Have fun?”

You nodded, mouth full of pancake. When you swallowed, your lips formed into a pretty grin. “The music was lovely. I grew tired early in the night, though. I regrettably didn’t stay for long.”

“Oh?” Your father made a noise which made Levi’s ears twitch. “Odd… I would say the night was rather lively… Vivacious, perhaps?”

You choked on the orange juice you were trying to sip. Levi, too, seemed to be caught off guard as his eyes grew wide. He noticed you went to say something to the smirking older man, when there was a knock at the door.

“L—Mr. Ackerman! Can you get the door, please?”

“O-of course.”

Levi had never excused himself faster, needing immediate reprieve from the thought that… No, he couldn’t even let himself finish.

He arrived at the door within seconds, opening it and feeling the brush of dewy morning air sweep across his skin. There was a tall, blonde man standing at the door which Levi had never met before. Levi was impressed by his height and stature; the way he carried himself exuded maturity, intellect, and kindness.

“Hello. Are the L/N’s in?”

Levi gave a curt nod, letting the man enter. He even offered to take the man’s coat, which he denied. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

“What’s your name? I must announce you.”

“Erwin. Erwin Smith.” Oh. Levi remembered the name from the tea party all those weeks ago. Okay… Maybe you all were right; he was handsome, and tall, and blonde.

Levi led Erwin down the hallway, the ornate runner on the floor making their footsteps near silent; they didn’t speak, and Levi couldn’t hear you nor your father conversing. The house, for a moment, was completely still.

“Mr. L/N, Miss L/N. An Erwin Smith is here for you.”

You stood, blushing like a tomato. Levi completely fought the urge to laugh at you and the way you tried to smooth your disheveled hair.

“Mr. Smith! Oh, if I knew you were coming, I would’ve changed into proper clothes and – are you hungry? Oh! Thank you for coming! Can we help you?”

Levi was gawking at you; you were completely flustered and turned around. He’d certainly tease you about it later.

“You’re quite alright.” Erwin placed his hands behind his back, “if I’m honest, I fear I bring news that would make breakfast rather unappetizing. I’m sorry to have caught you at a time like this.”

“Is everything alright?”

Erwin let a heavy sigh escape him through his nostrils, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You are engaged to Eren Jaeger, yes?”

Levi shifted on his feet, leaning on his left hip.

“… Yes, I am.”

“I understand you left the ball early, so I’ll try to explain fully.”

You pull a chair out for him, which the man takes wordlessly. Erwin recounted the night, first with compliments to your beauty and to the sophistication of the gathering in all. Levi listened in a half-hearted manner knowing it was just sugar-coating what was to come.

“Now, I’m not aware of when you left, but I know that you were not present by the time this came. Your friends had searched for you, but you were gone.”

“Please, just say it bluntly. What happened?”

“Miss L/N, Eren Jaeger has fled the country with no plans on returning.”

Levi immediately looked to you, searching for your reaction. In a way that was unlike you, and more like him, you did not react at all besides the widening of your eyes and the sinking of your shoulders. “Wh… Excuse me?”

“It might’ve been my fault.” Erwin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I overheard his chat with your staff member, there.” Was everyone eavesdropping on them last night? “I didn’t mean to, so don’t look at me that way Mr. Ackerman, I was simply looking for the bathroom.

Regardless, I confronted Mr. Jaeger. His father and I weren’t close, but we hold respect for each other as gentlemen do by default. Anyway, I told him that to be a man of honor, all people should be treated with respect. He was quite intoxicated, wasn’t he?

Ultimately, he confessed to many sins – saying that even though he’d been unfaithful to Miss L/N, and had gotten away with abuse and… And even murder of one of his staff members in his youth, he was still a greater man than I would dream of being.”

Even your father had placed his word puzzle down on the table, baffled at the news. “Mr. Jaeger admitted to such a heinous crime?”

“Yes, sir. He was completely without his wits.” Erwin replied, “and I left the ball early to report him to the authorities. They went to arrest him this morning, but he was gone; he left a note saying he wasn’t coming back.”

You were crying to the point that your shaking hands couldn’t keep up with the stream of tears escaping your eyes. “This note...” You could hardly talk, “did you read it? Did… Did he say anything about me?”

Erwin exhaled again. Levi noticed, even in this whirlwind of an encounter, that Erwin seemed to do that before saying something he’d rather not.

“No, he did not.”

You cried harder and Levi wanted to do nothing but break free of his posture to console you. He was no good at it but standing there and watching you cry felt wrong – cruel, even.

But he had to realize that he was not the cruel one in this situation.

“You must excuse me.” You whispered, raising yourself onto wabbling legs.

“Let me help you, Miss L/N.” Levi said, briskly walking over to you.

“No.” You raised a hand up which told him to keep his distance from you. “I’m… I’m alright. I’ve just decided to spend the day in my room, is all.”

Levi let you go despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to at least ghost behind you, as if he was unsure you would make it through your own home safely.

“Mr. Ackerman,” Erwin’s voice removed Levi’s eyes from your figure. “Mind showing me the way out? I do not frequent the estate as much as I would like.”

The men walked down the hall in a silence that was heavier than before, so much weighing on the minds of everyone in the home.

Though, once far enough from the dining room, Erwin reached out a hand which stopped Levi in his tracks. The men shared a look, one of formality and understanding. “I admit that I often favor romantics over logic habitually, and that I differ from you in this way, but I think you should not deprive yourself of the feelings you hold for Y/N. It isn’t entirely impossible for you to live comfortably in her home. Unorthodox, maybe, but not impossible.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Smith, what do you know of me or my affairs? We don’t know one another in such a way.”

“You’ve answered your question,” Erwin said with a somewhat playful smirk and a puff of his chest. “I’m Mr. Smith; Many a great number of people confide in me. Funny how much you learn as an observer, isn’t it?”

Levi scoffed, the arrogance. Still, he was thankful for Erwin. Not many people would be able to be as gentile in such a predicament; he handled you, and Levi and his stubbornness, with care.

No noise came from your room all day. Levi knew this because he walked past several times, going out of his way to see if maybe there was a hint that you were okay or, at least, alive.

He even brought you dinner when the time came. Knocking on the door with one hand, holding a plate with the other. He could hear you shuffling from the other side of the door.

“Yes?” You said once the door swung open to reveal yourself. Your eyes seemed a bit darker than usual, and your skin a bit duller. Levi imagined that you’d been napping.

“Dinner.” He mumbled, moving the plate to his other hand for you to see. “It’s lamb.”

You moved, nonverbally inviting him in. Stepping inside, he held the plate firmly in front of him as if it were the only thing he was sure about. His eyes avoided the bed which imposed thoughts of the night before in his mind. Your body, the words you shared, the feelings his heart bubbled with ever since. Neither of you had known, then, of what the reality of your situation was; Should he still feel guilty that you did such intimate things, even though it turned out that Eren was a bigger piece of shit than they had even imagined?

The door closed behind you.

“Levi,” your voice was soft, but he could tell you’d hadn’t used it since this morning.

“There doesn’t need to be an ‘I told you so,’ if that’s what you’re planning.”

“What? No, no. Nothing like that.” You sighed, sitting down at the side of your unkempt bed. “I was just going to say that I’m glad you brought me here. I couldn’t have stomached… All of that.”

I don’t regret what happened. That’s the secret meaning behind your words, or, at least, that’s what he hoped. If you meant it, he could come to terms with it too.

Levi sat beside you on the bed, still holding the plate in his lap. He was unsure what to say or where to go. In twenty-four hours, you’d abandoned a party you were very excited for, committed infidelity, and found out your fiancé had become a wanted criminal. You wore it well, but he could see through it. He knew if it was draining him this much, he was resigned to the fact that he would never fully empathize with you in the way he wanted, nor the way you needed.

He picked up the pure silver knife and fork, the weight of it heavy in his hands. The room was quiet save for the sound of him cutting into the meat.

“Here.”

He raised the food to your lips, which you ate with a pale face. Seeing you eat, watching the nutritious food enter your body, made him feel calmer.

Once again, as it had been many times before, it was just you and him in the candlelight. If he had to give your presence a sight, it would be candlelight. A sound? He would associate you immediately with the song of summer cicadas. A scent? Lavender and sugar. A feeling? Safety.

You were something he’d never encountered before; you were unpredictable. He wanted you to be like everyone else in the upper class – he didn’t want to believe that his past was bad luck and circumstance and that he couldn’t avoid all bad things through avoiding the affluent. He still believes this to be true to an extent. He still fucking hates the wealthy few with their balls and tea parties and blatant disregard for anyone lesser. People like Jaeger… That is what he expected of you too.

Even so, you were always you with him. Levi had spent months refusing to see it; the little things mattered to you, down to the meaning of flowers in your bouquets. You had always taken your pancakes sweet and floral, your smiles replicating the sun. You had always been there to love him just as you are now, and ready for him to love you how he needed to.

Levi watched you as you accepted another bit of food. Accepting his help, letting him feed you because he doesn’t know what else to do to ease your heart or mind.

You should not deprive yourself of the feelings you hold.

He shan’t. Seeing you so broken was inevitable with your affiliations to Jaeger, but not with him. With him, he swore to protect, to take care of you in every sense of the word. He would withstand your eccentric father, your spoiled cat, your sickeningly sweet syrups; he would endure your sarcasm, your fear, your happiness. He would put his pride aside, admit that he would have to also accept your care as well. Let you provide the home, the money, he will take care of the rest.

Before accepting the next bite, you leant over and kissed his check tenderly. A ghost of the touch lingered on his cheek; his heart was full.

And you smiled, a display of a strength Levi had never had in his life.

Levi smiled back, in spite of it all.