Chapter Text
„How perfectly marvelous!” - said Lord Merton.
„And who can argue with that!” - could be heard from the Dowager Countess of Grantham in the hall of Cavenham Park.
Isobel hooked her arm around Dickie's on the steps, and they started walking in the direction of his room.
Although this wasn't Mrs. Crawley's first time in the house, nor her second, she has never been upstairs. Yet she didn't use this occasion to look around and study. She was too nervious for that. She was flooded by more emotions, than she could name. Her heart was beating too fast. No matter how much she thought she was doing the right thing, she could always hear the contrary reasons in her head. After all, she was used to fighting for others, but not for herself. Nor she barged in on another family, to take away one of their members, before. As far as she was aware, Dickie has always expressed his wish for her to be in his life, while never losing sight of her best interest or own will. Even after she has ended their engagement, which he reluctantly accapted. When she took him to Dr. Clakrson, the last time they saw each other before today, she could tell he was glad for her attention. Yet cautious, if she really wanted to get involved, especially as things progressed not in his favour. She knew he wasn't satisfied by his sons' behavior. He condemned them, whenever they acted out. He tried hard to persuade them into better judgement, especially concerning her. She saw that first hand. However he seemingly never considered breaking his relationship with them, not even when they were the only (tho immense) hurdle in their way to marry. Until now. She was worried about how Larry and Amelia have been treating him in the last few months. She doubted he was well looked after. She was sure now they didn't care about his emotional needs at such a difficult time, and she was almost confident it extended to his physical well being too. So many things were running through her head at the same time, that she couldn't form a sensible thought anymore.
She put one foot in front of the other atumatically. When they reached his room and stepped inside, he asked if he should ring for his valet. She nodded.
After ringing, Dickie opened his mouth:
„Why? How? What do you mean they denied enterance?”
To be honest, he was in quite a shock. When he woke up today, this was the last turn of events he would've expected. His dream of a long time was finally coming true. Although definetly not in the way he first dared to imagine, yet it did happen when his hope was the faintest. He has resigned to his fate by now.
Isobel took a step towards him and gently touched his cheek.
Oh, how they both missed to be physically near to the other.
„I know I owe you a proper confession and we have a lot to catch up on, but your valet can be here any moment, and I would rather keep this conversation between us. It would take more than a minute. I can only assure you again now, that I have every intention of taking you home with me and marrying you.”
„Tell me that you're not doing it out of pity!”
„I can tell you I have way superior reasons than that.”
Dickie's eyes closed and she could see the emotions running through his face. She felt so bad for withholding herself from him, and preventing his happiness for so long.
For the first time in months, she took in his appearence. Her heart squeezed, as she noticed how much weight he has lost in a relatively short time, and how hollow his eyes were. She felt a pang of guilt for not asking sooner about how he felt.
„Are you okay, Dickie? Won't the ride to my house tire you too much? Are you in any pain?” -she asked worriedly.
He detected the worry in her voice. He didn't want her to feel bad, even for moment, so he tried his best to reassure her.
„I do feel tired and weak, but I'm not in any pain. I wouldn't give up going with you for anything in the world. I already feel so much more cheerful that you're by my side.”
„Oh darling!” - Her use, for the first time, of a term of endearment for him, suprised them both. They shared a smile at the realization and she stepped closer once again, to cradle his cheeks with her hand. - „You're a flatterer. Even now.”
Footsteps could be heard from the outside nearing, and so they stepped apart.
She asked him:
„What do you want to bring with yourself?”
„Well, I don't know.”
„I think I have everything you might need, except for your clothes and your important personal belongings. For the rest, we can come another time, when you feel up to it, or send someone for it.” - she said, as the valet finally stepted into the room, a bit surprised to see a women inside.
„Kingston, you might remember Mrs. Crawley. She is going to look after me. So I'm asking you to pack an overnight bag for me now. You should send the rest of my clothes by the end of the day to Mrs. Crawley’s house.”
He didn't know how much he should explaine himself to his employees. He knew it was awkward, that she was in his room, while his valet was packing. As if staying at her house, without them being married, wasn't already streching propriety rules.
Isobel looked at His Lordship as she asked:
„Don't you need to change?”
He was wearing a robe, over his plain trousers and a shirt.
„Oh, I almost forgot. I will be quick!” - he sent a reassuring smile in her direction.
Wanting to be useful, and also trying to avoid beaing stuck in the same room with his valet without a task, she asked him before he disappeared into the sideroom:
„Can I pack something for you, that you would like to bring with yourself: books or anything else, while you change?”
„Let me think.”
„Do you have any valuabels you wish to bring along? Like keys, checkbooks, letters ...?”
Lord Merton lowerd his voice and stepped closer to Mrs. Crawley, while Kingston has already busied himself with packing.
„We can't move all my things all of sudden in a few minutes. I can't even think of what I would want to take with me. I would feel better if you waited here for me. I don't want you to run into either of them without me. I will hurry and then we can take a look around together to see if we need to come back later” - he stepped even closer, so he could lean into her ear and whisper- „Besides, I finally have you, that's all I’ve needed.”
His proximity was affecting her. She wondered, when did she turn into a teenager in love. His words were so simple, yet held so much meaning. She realized, he never stopped wooing her. He never let an opportunity of complimenting her or expressing his love and admiration, pass. Even now in these circumstances he was courting her, making her forget all their troubles, even if for just a moment, making her feel safe and loved and jolly.
An urge to kiss him properly then and there, came over her. Another first in their relationship. A familiar feeling, that she hasn't experinced since the death of Reginald. She wasn't sure she could've restrained herself if it wasn't for the presence of the valet.
Instead she said:
„Go and get changed!” - followed by a wink at him.
She saw him blush for the very first time. She really didn't know what came over her. Why on earth did she think, it was any better of an idea, than kissing him.
He quickly dissappeared into the next room.
She wished they were anywhere, but in this house. She didn't know what do with herself. She couldn't decide what was wiser: offering to help the valet, or doing nothing. She offered anyways. He was surprised to say the least, but quickly declinde.
She ended up looking around the room, to see if she could discover something new about him, that she didn't know yet. After all, personal space can give away interesting facts about anybody. She took mental notes. She was curious to see how he will change the space he will get in her house, to his own liking.
Lord Merton emerged back, poprely dressed.
Isobel looked at him as soon as she heard him come out. She couldn't help but note how handsome he looked in her opinion, despite the obvious mark the illness has already left on his body.
„Lets head to the library!” - he exclaimed as he walked to her.
She hooked her arm in his once again. They were both nervious to walk around the house.
She realized she didn't even see his library before. They headed back downstairs. The hall was now empty to their relief.
They turned right and soon found themselves in the library.
Dickie had his desk, where he wrote all his letters and kept his keys and checkbooks, in one of the corners, under a window facing the garden. While he stepped towards it, to get his things, Isobel looked around in wonder. She expected it to be big, she knew his favourite things were books. They talked about his library on several occassions. He even lent her a few books, following his proposal. Yet she was still stunned.
„This is gorgeous, Dickie!” - she said, as she stepped closer to one of the shelves to observ the book titles. – „You should be proud!”
Than she suddenly felt a pang of sadness, when she remembered that he has to leave it behind.
After he got ahold of the things he has planned on, he turned around, and walked in her direction, watching her as she focused on the books.
„You know, this is the only thing I will miss.” - quickly adding- „It's an insignificant sacrefice all things considered.” -then continued- „I've kept account of all the books in my posession. I have written down all the titles for myself. We can take it with us and if we every need anything we can fetch it from here. I don't think it would be a problem. My sons never cared about books. You should look at the medical section. That's what I'm most proud of, if I'm allowed to say such a thing.”
„Of course.” - she smiled at him.
After viewing it, she turned to him:
„What else do you need to do, before we go?”
„I don't know what to do with the servants. I don't want to leave without a word to them. Some of them been part of my life since forever. But this handover is a rather awkward situation.” - he glanced at her- „You think we should go down, don't you?”
„I think you know me well enough.”
He guided her in the direction of the servants' hall.
„Dickie, I haven't thought about it before, but you know I only have a house maid and a cook. Did you think about bringing anyone with you to my house? What about your valet? He must have found it odd when you told him you are going to stay with me, for more than one reason.” - she tried her best to sound neutral, she wanted to know how Dickie really felt about it.
Lord Merton sighed. He regretted the consequences, especially for those who didn't have any say in the matter, but would suffer from the fall out.
„Honestly I haven't gotten that far, but I think it would be best not to bring anyone.”
„I agree.” - and knowing the man as well as she did, she was sure his mind was on the same problem- „We can think about something later, if any of them would be dismissed due to the handover.”
„Thank you.” - he said, feeling relieved and thankful for a millionth time that day, that this wonderful woman was at his side.
They arrived to their destination. He asked his butler to quickly gather everyone. He used that time to gather his thoughts and come up with the right words to say, which seemed impossible.
When everyone available arrived he started:
„Some of you may have heard a few things, so what I'm going to say won't necesseraly shock you.” - he reached for Isobel- „You remember Mrs. Crawley, and the fact that we have been engaged. We plan to marry as soon as possible. You also know that I have been ill for sometime. From now on Mrs Crawley will care for me in her home. It means I'm handing over the estate to my eldest son and his wife. They are going to be your new employers. I regret the suddenness of the change and the inconveniences it might cause you. I want to thank each and every one of you for your dedicated services. I very much appreciate all of you and hope you will continue to feel valued members of this household. We wish you all great personal happiness, and we must say goodbye with that. Till we meet again.”
Isobel quietly stood at Lord Merton's side, and observed the people gathered there, listening to their Master's speech. She saw some surprised looks and a whole lot of sadness. She wasn't expecting it, even tho she believed Lord Merton to be one of the kindest employers in England.
When he finished, they shook hands with everyone. They were showerd by well whishes.
She found it all emotionally very taxing, even without knowing these people. She could only imagine how Dickie felt.
After shooking every hand they finally headed outside for the waiting car.
Isobel only now remembered, that she hasn't seen Violet since walking to Dickie's room. She hoped she was waiting in the car, tho she felt terrible for her.
As they stepped outside, Isobel tightend her grip on his arm. She couldn't help but feel bad, that it had come to this. She was sure, it wasn't easy for Dickie to just leave his home, the place where he was born, and have lived all his life, behind. This made her even more determened to make her house a home for the both of them. The thought of a shared home warmed her heart, and filled her with excitement for a moment. A little ray of hope in the midts of a gloomy day.
Violet considerately was already sitting in the front of the car, so the couple could sit together in the back.
As they got in, Isobel fussed around Dickie, to make sure he was as comfortable as possible.
Violet asked them if they had everything needed.
At last the engine started and they were on their way.
As they left behind Cavenham Park, she felt a portion of weight being lifted off her shoulders. She squeezed Dickie's arm where her hand has been resting there. They shared a look, silently communicating their support and understanding for each other.
The ride, after such events, was not the place or time to hold any conversation.
Dickie did look extremly worn out. During the journey he dozed off a few times. When he was awake he seemed to be deep in his thoughts.
Isobel let him be, she thought he needed some time alone with his thoughts to process everything that has happened.
She was surprised by her own desperate need to be phisycally close to him throughout the day. She was never a big demonstrator of public displays of affection, and never felt the urge to be clingy. Yet somehow she noticed now, how she wanted to be near him at all times. She needed to be reassured that he was there, still alive, and from now on they will never be parted.
She wanted Dickie to know, as he was flowing between the states of awakness and sleep, that she was there. So they sat with her arm hooked under his, her hand resting on his arm.