Chapter Text
Fiore, Earthland. December 8, 711.
A train whistled. Chatter and activity hummed throughout the station. It was filled with soon-to-be soldiers and their loved ones, saying good bye and exchanging last minute gifts. One such young man, dressed in his new uniform but still wearing a scarf, was talking excitedly and confidently to a young woman with white hair. He was under the impression he’d be back soon, after an easy job of beating the Alignment.
A conductor shouted something, barely heard about the din of the station, and the young man had to cut himself off.
“I’ll see you soon, Lisanna! Right after we finish thrashing these guys!” He told the white haired young woman, grinning like he was ready for a fight.
She smiled back at him, believing him when he said he would be back soon. He would keep his word if he could and he had the strength to follow through. Now that Fiore had entered the war, it was surely a matter of time before the conflict ended.
The young man, new soldier Natsu Dragneel, leaned forward and kissed Lisanna lingeringly. As excited as he was to fight, he was going to miss her.
“Good-bye, Natsu.” Lisanna said, not too sadly. “Promise me you’ll write often! And I’ll see you again soon!”
Natsu had started to step away from Lisanna towards the train, his desire to help his country overcoming his dread of motion sickness.
“I will! I promise!” He called. He turned around and his backwards edging became a full-on run.
Lisanna watched Natsu run to the entrance of the train, his scarf and bag flying behind him. The conductor stopped him, glanced at his tag, and let him pass. Lisanna had one last image of Natsu, standing framed in the doorway to the train, before he disappeared from sight. Unable to leave just yet, she waited as the station emptied, leaving only the loved ones of the soldiers and a few workers behind. And then slowly, the train pulled out of the station.
A few people Lisanna recognized had managed to get window seats, but Natsu wasn’t among them. She hadn’t expected him to be, though, because as soon as the train started moving he would have been useless. So she simply waved at the departing soldiers, friend and foe alike, and tried to soothe the underlying feeling that she wouldn’t be seeing all of them alive and well again.
Fiore, Earthland. January 16, 712.
In a training camp near the western edge of Fiore, Natsu was finally prepared for combat. It had been a grueling five weeks, even by his standards, but it wasn’t enough to drain his optimism. He felt ready to take on an army, which was fortunate, as that was what he was about to do. And the training had taught him a few tricks that might help him out, although he suspected they might not be the tricks his instructor had had in mind.
The first day after he’d completed his training, Natsu automatically woke up and got dressed before seven am, contrary to his old nature. He had picked up the habit sometime during his second week at the training facility. It had served him well for the remainder of the training, but now that he and the others had the day off it was something of a nuisance.
Tomorrow, they were going to be deployed, but for now, Natsu passed the time talking with his old friends and new comrades. He wished Lisanna were there. Time always flew with her. But sooner rather than later, the soldiers retired to bed, anxious for the coming dawn and their first day in action.
Fiore, Earthland. January 27, 712.
For once, Lisanna’s weekly rush to check the mail paid off. Apart from one brief letter two weeks after Natsu had arrived at the training facility, or so she assumed as he hadn’t actually mentioned, this was the first letter she’d gotten from him. An actual letter, explaining what he was up to and to an extent, what he was going to do. A few things had been cut out of it, but Lisanna could tell from what remained that Natsu had been warned beforehand about this possibility. He was as vague as possible about where he was going. Or more likely, where he was, Lisanna thought. Letters never seem to travel fast enough during wartime.
She smiled at the letter with an unusual fondness. It was a message from Natsu, a soldier, and it had made it here from mostly likely a combat zone. That had to mean something. At least it meant something to Lisanna. It meant good things. And after not-quite two months without one of the best things in her life, good things were sorely lacking in supply.
Tucking the letter safely into an old shoe box, Lisanna chided herself for her negative thinking. She still had plenty of good things in her life. A lot of her female friends were still around and her town hadn’t enforced many restrictions or rules for the war effort. They hadn’t even been put on wartime rations yet. Life carried on, the same as it always did, but for Lisanna one crucial element was missing…
Fiore/Ishgar Border, Earthland. January 30, 712.
After two weeks of his regiment being on stand-by, whether to reinforce other troops or to seize a potential opening, Natsu and his comrades were finally being told to take the offensive. If he’d been told that two weeks ago, he would have been excited. And while he wasn’t ready to run yet, Natsu wasn’t feeling quite as up for a fight as he had been. It was an alarming notion, to both him and the rest of the rookie soldiers he had trained alongside. Everyone knew Natsu Dragneel didn’t back down from a fight.
He still thought the war would end soon, but after several weeks of watching the wounded retreat through their camp, he wasn’t as certain everyone would make it home unscathed. The cuts and bruises from a fist fight were one thing, something Natsu knew very well, but seeing people carried past missing whole limbs or even just lying covered in blood, a mere shell of a person, was another thing entirely. He would not admit to anyone, himself or another, that he was worried. Instead he played it off as if he just didn’t want anyone to get hurt because it meant more work for him, but even that rang false. All of the soldiers were uneasy, and everyone knew it, just some people were more willing to admit it than others.
So before they broke camp, Natsu finally sat down and wrote Lisanna a letter. He should have been writing her every week, to be honest, but whenever he had thought about it there had been either nothing to tell or nothing he felt comfortable telling. It was silly of him, really. Out of everyone he knew, Lisanna was the easiest to talk to and she probably wanted to hear from him. He knew she would read his letter (and reply to it) no matter what he wrote, and she would probably have some really good advice, too.
She had been writing to him every week with updates about the town and their friends, always asking how he was doing, but here he was, refusing to write her a letter in return because he didn’t want to admit that he was worried. That people were actually being wounded and killed in this conflict. He missed being able to talk to her openly and easily, but at the same time, he wasn’t when he could have been!
This was getting too introspective for Natsu’s liking, so he attempted to explain to Lisanna in writing what was happening. He’d let this go on long enough.
By the end of Natsu’s letter, he felt better knowing that soon Lisanna would receive some part of it and understand. He would have felt even better if she’d actually been there, however, and her absence suddenly pressed in on him keenly. He missed everything about her and as much as he tried to ignore it he found himself looking wistfully after the letter, wishing he was going where it was.
Now I really am being dumb, Natsu thought. It’s not even been two months!
He tried to brush the whole thing off, but the feeling wouldn’t fade. And once again, time moved slowly without Lisanna there and he waited restlessly for the orders to begin the march towards their new offensive position.
Fiore, Earthland. February 2, 712.
Word had gotten around the town that their group of soldiers was on the move. Lisanna was hoping for a letter from Natsu any day now. If they really were heading into combat, she was certain one was on the way.
She hoped he was alright. Her faith in him, while considerable, could only extend so far. Although no one discussed it openly, all sides had been taking heavy losses. Some people’s belief and optimism that the conflict would be a short affair was dimming as more and more reports came in siting heavy combat around the outskirts of Fiore. While none of the town’s people had been involved directly yet, everyone had received letters from far-off friends and family that someone had been a casualty of the war.
In the meantime, Lisanna had found that she was adding to her list of good things mentally. Whenever she thought of one, she smiled and ran through the list in her head. She hadn’t meant to start doing it, but she had realized at some point that it took her mind off of Natsu and the war. And it had certainly resulted in a more positive way of looking at the world. She was determined to keep her spirits up.
The only trouble was that everything else seemed determined to remind her of the conflict and of all the people that weren’t here. From the townsfolk to the newspapers to the posters in the grocery store, everything proclaimed it was wartime. And wartime meant that a certain Natsu Dragneel might be heading to a battle at that very moment.
Lisanna walked back from the store with a few things still not in her possession, (it seemed the rationing of items had reached them after all), and idly wondered what Natsu was being fed, wherever he was. She bet it wasn’t as good as her cooking. And she doubted whoever was preparing it appreciated getting to create something for such an enthusiastic diner.
Fiore/Ishgar Border, Earthland. February 8, 712.
A full two months now since he’d left home, Natsu had finally seen combat. More importantly, he’d lived to tell of it with barely a scratch, something that could not be said for everyone in his regiment of no-longer rookie soldiers. Several of his friends from back home had suffered minor injuries, mostly shrapnel wounds, and a new comrade of his was in critical condition. He was greatly relieved, though, that all of his friends, new and old, had survived. But there had still been several casualties.
The fighting had little more than territory skirmishes as they struggled to hold the position they’d been given, but the experience and the losses had cemented in Natsu’s unit the knowledge that they were foot soldiers in the middle of a war, and that war was often brutal. The skirmishes hadn’t lasted very long, though. After less than a week, the Alignment troop that opposed their position had retreated, apparently deciding it wasn’t worth the trouble.
This made Natsu wonder why they’d been sent here. They’d fought and been injured and people had been killed for what purpose? The enemy hadn’t tried very hard, ultimately, to keep the position, so it didn’t seem to be worth much.
Natsu knew he didn’t have the best understanding of military tactics, not that anyone had told him much about them, but was less than one hundred square feet of land worth blood?
From this first treasonous thought rose others. What were they fighting for, if not their country and an end to war? These fights that their blood and lives were being given for, would they truly matter? Would they actually help save lives and defend rights? And who did their commanding officers think they were to decide what they risked their lives for and what battles they fought?
If they were going to risk their lives, Natsu wanted to know what they were doing it for.
There were many things he would fight for: his honor, a friend’s honor, and a shot at glory the least among them. But there were only a few things Natsu could think of that he was willing to die for…
What Natsu didn’t realize was that what he saw as only a few things was far more than most people were willing to risk their lives for. The lives of his friends were obviously worth pain and suffering for a thousand times over to Natsu, but the lives of the unknown innocent was something that Natsu could see himself giving his life for as well. Principles, ideologies, and faces ran through his mind.
And then stopped on a face. Lisanna’s face.
Not only was he willing to fight and die for her, but he was willing to live for her as well.
That was enough self-doubt for one day. Fighting and dying wasn’t what was important. Living was.
Fiore, Earthland. February 22, 712.
A couple of weeks ago, Lisanna and the rest of the town had heard about the results of the fight, through personal and official letters alike, and since then, the messages with results from combat hadn’t stopped. Natsu’s unit seemed to be fighting more often than not.
Every day brought a letter from someone the town knew, telling of an injury or a death, and slowly Lisanna watched her friends and neighbors grow more worried until their letter arrived and their worry changed to anguish.
Despite this, the only letters Lisanna has received about Natsu were from Natsu himself. He told what was happening in the most concrete sense that he could, but sometimes he admitted he was uneasy or uncertain. It was clear to Lisanna that the experience was affecting him in a different way than he’d expected. The amount of carnage present in Natsu’s small section of the conflict was astounding.
She always wrote back and assured him he was doing well and that soon the war would be over, but she wasn’t sure she was getting through to him. The increasingly somber tone of his letters worried her more than the possibility of him being injured, in some ways. She had never known him to sound so down-hearted. He was always the person telling others that it would be okay and they’d get through it, no matter how bleak it seemed.
Lisanna opened a new letter from Natsu, a thread of discontent still in her mind against all her attempts at optimism.
The letter said that Natsu and his unit were going to join with some larger forces who were playing a more active role in the war. Natsu actually sounded excited for the change of pace. He seemed to think that the new campaign might make a difference and if it would actually help his country, and therefore his town and friends, then he was all for it.
This was the most optimistic message from Natsu that Lisanna had heard in a while. Maybe the war really would end soon.
Ishgar, Earthland. February 29, 712.
Natsu and his unit had been in camp with the other forces for a few days now. He felt like he was right in the thick of things, maybe even making history. New people were rushing around camp, new supplies were being brought in, and moral was up. He wasn’t the only one who was getting a thrill from the thought of actually making a difference.
And if they were going to make a difference, today was the day. Those new supplies were for if there was any resistance while they tried to take the outpost. The new people rushing around camp were last minute reinforcements and scouts. The moral was up because the soldiers thought this would be easy and glorious and worthwhile.
The superior officers called for their units to prepare for a march. Natsu folded up his letter to Lisanna and put it in his pocket. He’d have to send it afterwards, with a postscript saying how it went.
Natsu grabbed his things, put on a hat, tucked his scarf into his uniform so he wouldn’t get in trouble, and ran to get into formation. Time to make history.
The march wasn’t long. It should have been much longer, actually. But a march, in Natsu’s experience, always ended with a fight or a camp and this one was no different in that respect.
There normally wasn’t this many enemy soldiers, he noticed, but this was a very important outpost. And there were a lot more of his comrades here this time, as well, and he didn’t want the fight be unfair. Too many of us verses too few of them isn’t a fair fight; it’s slaughter. Natsu thought, mildly annoyed about this scenario he’d created.
Soon, however, Natsu realized that slaughter was exactly what this fight was becoming. But it was his side that was being slaughtered.
Natsu shook off an enemy soldier, who had trying to engage him in close quarters combat, with a punch to the gut and a blow to the head and spun in a circle looking over the fighting. There were way more Alignment soldiers than Associate soldiers. And the Alignment outpost they were after was nowhere in sight.
They had been ambushed! That was the only explanation Natsu could think of. What dirty, rotten, bastards! He thought viciously, throwing himself back into the fighting.
If there had ever been a divide between the Alignment soldiers and the Associates, it had long since disappeared. They were in close combat only, which was ultimately fortunate as Natsu was considerably more skilled at it than any alternatives. He tore into the enemies, ripping them off of friends and comrades, but still the battle raged. His energy was depleting, but his anger was not and so he continued fighting.
The sharpness of the screams and cries around him died away into a dull roar of pain and horror. Everything started to sound far away and drawn-out. He could have sworn the sky had darkened.
Suddenly, he felt eyes on him, an intense, cold, gaze. He started to turn, opening his mouth to release a rough shout of fury, but something small slammed into his collar bone and pain erupted in a hot wave from that point and spread over his body.
He fell, slumped over… something, (he couldn’t tell what), and his hands reached towards his neck and fumbled weakly with the buttons on his shirt. His breathing shallowed and his vision dimmed. The shouts and cries and moans of the battlefield seemed farther away than ever. The last thing he saw was the sky, a deep, intense blue that reminded him of…
Fiore, Earthland. March 7, 712.
Lisanna’s eyes widened in disbelief. A letter had arrived from the war front and it wasn’t from Natsu.