Chapter Text
1990
The sun beamed down on her skin as she stretches out on this sun lounger she purchased, this place was a stark difference to Hawkins that was for sure but she liked it, she liked it a lot. She doesn't know why she decided to move away but she knows it was probably for the best, either that or she didn't want to admit the problems she was having to herself. Leaving the kids behind in Hawkins and taking her youngest with her was the right thing to do, she was sure of it. Maybe she was manipulating the situation slightly as all she wanted was for him to make an effort for their daughter so she moves to California in a bid to get him to wake up and give him a reason do just do something.
The memories were just too raw to stay there, promise after promise and there was no difference in the outcome of Hopper's words especially when he came home after moving away. If she was honest she preferred it when he was away, at least then he tried. She knows he finds it hard to interact with their daughter because of the memories of Sara and it saddens her entirely but she knows that she has to put Madeleine first now. As much as it hurt her to pack up and leave the kids in Hawkins she knows it's for the best because as much as she wanted Hopper to be involved in Madeleine's life she knows it probably won't ever happen and to have her daughter grow up around that would fill her with guilt so it was better she left. She does miss him though, a lot.
"Mama" Madeleine stumbles towards her before pointing to the phone, Joyce sighs and bends down to kiss her on the head, she goes to the phone and picks it up to answer the call
Anything to stop the annoying ringing noise.
"Hello?" Joyce frowns, twirling the cord around her fingers
"Joyce"
She immediately recognises the voice and her heart fills with warmth.
"El?!" Joyce smiles, it was unlikely for her to be ringing her at this time of the day "Why are you...is everything ok, honey? It's unlike you to call..."
"It is dad" her voice was small, Joyce swallows nervously as she keeps an eye on Madeleine who was roaming around the house "He is...not well, he needs...you I think"
"Needs me? I don't think...uh, I don't think that's a good idea, sweetie" Joyce bites her lip before smiling at Madeleine walking over to her and wrapping her arms around her leg "Why does he need me? What's...wrong with him?"
She hears muffling on the end of the phone and holds the receiver away from her ear so she didn't get deafened by the noise.
"Joyce, hi"
She instantly recognises Max's voice on the end of the phone, worry fills her system - she needs to know what's going on.
"Max, what's happened?" Joyce frowns and lets out a sigh after getting no answer so she tries again, "What is going on?"
"It's uh...it's Hopper he's...uh...in the hospital-"
"Hospital?" Joyce sighs and looks at her daughter who was staring up at her with bright eyes she naturally inherited from her father "Why? What happened?"
"He took an overdose, he was struggling..." Max tells her "After you left...we didn't...we didn't want to tell you because we didn't want it to seem like we were-"
"Guilt-tripping?"
"Yeah," Max tells her "El needs your help, she can't do it on her own anymore-"
On her own?
Joyce's heart breaks at the thought of her daughter having to deal with her father on her own especially when it came down to his personal issues.
"I'll be there," Joyce tells her without thinking "Give me some time to get some things ready and-"
She hears someone take the phone again, no doubt El.
"Mom?" El whispers, Joyce's heart fills with warmth at that, she knows that she is El's mom and that there was no taking that away "Thank you, he needs you"
"I know," Joyce tells her "Now hang on in there, I'm going to get on the next plane out of here alright? Stay strong for me, honey"
"I miss you"
"I know you do, you'll see me soon ok?" Joyce whispers, El sniffles on the other side of the phone "Don't cry sweetie, I'm going to see if I can sort this"
"Please help him"
"I'm going to try," Joyce says "Now I have to go and pack ok? You look after yourself and I'll be there soon, I love you"
"I love you too," El says quietly before ending the call, Joyce sighs and looks at Madeleine who was looking up at her, she picks her daughter up onto her hip and smiles
"Looks like we're going to see your brothers and sisters, honey" Joyce smiles running her hand over her daughter's head "Maybe even daddy too if he feels up to it"
She spent the evening packing whilst her daughter slept, she made sure she had enough clothes so she could alternate and wash them if she needed to stay longer there than anticipated. With her bags packed, she left her home and got on the next available flight after spending an extortionate amount of money on tickets. Madeleine was sleeping against her side for the entire journey so she was thankful she didn't have a grouchy toddler. When they touched down at the nearest airport she got in a taxi and headed straight to El and Max's home as they were kind enough to mail her a key in the post a while back in case there was an emergency. She opens the door and folds her arms across her chest, eyebrow raised.
"You did what?!" Will snaps, El rolls her eyes and looks at him "She shouldn't even have to deal with him and you called her? We agreed if we needed her we would come to an agreement together"
"Oh shut up Will!" El bites back "My dad needs her! He overdosed, it is not like he has broken a leg"
"You should have at least told me she was coming!"
"Why? So you don't get your ass whooped by Jonathan?" Max snorts, El couldn't help but smirk slyly at her friend "Jonathan's a wuss anyway-"
"Don't talk about my brother like that" Will scoffs and Max shrugs, "He doesn't even know that she's back, she doesn't even know about Nancy so you can't tell her-"
"Tell me what?"
Joyce raises an eyebrow intrigued as she listens to the conversation playing out in front of her, it hurts her to realise her sons have a life without her now, a life she doesn't really know, maybe that was her fault though, maybe she just didn't try hard enough. They do call sometimes but they never let up on anything that's happening here. Joyce wonders if they're upset with her for moving away but all she wanted to do was the right thing for her family.
"Oh this should be good" Max mutters looking at Joyce's expression, the anger, the despair and the stress of a long flight carrying a child around on her hip
"You weren't meant to hear that" Will pinches the bridge of his nose, El just looks at Joyce who was shaking her head
"What's going on guys, I go for what? A year, almost two and you're at each other's throats" Joyce sighs and shakes her head "And what about Jonathan and Nancy-"
"Nothing-"
"Nope...nothing at all" El winces, Max drops her gaze "It is...nothing for you to-"
"Worry about" Will finishes her words, El nods with a small smile, "I told her not to call you-"
"Not this again" Max groans "She had to know!"
"I know but-"
"No buts" Joyce sighs tiredly "Look, I'm shattered from a long flight with a clingy toddler, we'll just talk tomorrow ok and I will get to the bottom of whatever is going on so don't even try and lie your way out of it"
"Whatever" Will groans, El looks between the two of them "I'm going home"
"We'll talk tomorrow ok?" Joyce checks with him, Will shrugs and leaves causing her to sigh
"Welcome home?" El looks at her with a small smile, Joyce chuckles slightly and shakes her head
She knows she has a lot of catching up to do.
She gets Madeleine settled in the spare room at Max and El's place, after she joins the girls out in the living room and sits down on the couch tiredly, rubbing her head. Max offers her a drink and she smiles appreciatively at the coffee placed in front of her. El begins to tell her everything that had been going on, Joyce braces herself for it as it had been almost a year since she had even uttered Hopper's name. But hearing the struggles he had been going through confused her, she realises she hadn't even touched the surface of what his struggles were - maybe she was a coward for that. Her mind was still numbed to it, she knows maybe it was time to change that.
"I'm going to sleep," Max tells them, El nods and smiles at her "Help yourself to anything, trust me, you're going to need it"
"That bad huh?" Joyce laughs hoarsely, Max bites her lip and then heads up the stairs "You need to tell me everything"
"He...misses you"
"He was the one who..." she sighs in annoyance, he couldn't have it both ways but she does sympathise, her words seemed to hurt El "Sorry...honey, I am it's just hard for me, I'm trying so hard to just...not look back you know?"
"I understand" El nods and yawns "It started with alcohol"
"And then pills?" she assumes
"Yes," El confirms and bites her lip "He needs you, more than ever. The doctor spoke about a rehab centre to try and get him off..."
"It's that bad then?"
"Yes" El confirms "I am sorry for not calling sooner"
"It's ok sweetie, I understand my sons can be stubborn about stuff like that, and protective when it comes down to me" Joyce smiles and runs her hands through her daughter's hair "Look at you though! All grown up and living on your own"
"Maddy has grown" El smiles, Joyce chuckles and nods "I miss you and her"
"We miss you too and your brothers would you believe?" Joyce snorts, El giggles and smiles to herself "I'm going to sort this El, I am"
"I just want everyone to be happy"
"Me too, I want everyone to have a chance to be happy too" Joyce kisses her on the head "And we will, be happy. We're going to get your dad on the mend and then hopefully everything will fall into place"
"Would you get back together with him?"
Joyce laughs softly and sighs, she thinks about it briefly before closing her eyes and humming.
"Maybe, if everything was as perfect as it could be but then again there are a lot of things that could jeopardise our chance of happiness. I don't want to hurt Maddy, nor do I want to hurt any of you if it was to all blow up again"
"Okay" El nods and smiles
"What's going on with Jonathan then?" Joyce dares to ask, El bites her lip and looks up at Joyce "El?"
"Nancy...she uh..." El swallows "He...dropped out of NYU..."
"He did what?!" Joyce groans and El nods slowly before biting her lip "I will be having words with him tomorrow-"
"Please don't" El groans in annoyance "I should not have told you, it is on him"
"What's happened El?" Joyce asks her outright "There's obviously something I should know-"
"It is not my place to say," El tells her, Joyce seems to back off at that and concedes to a nod "He is ok though, happy that is the main thing"
"That's good I guess even if I am angry at him" Joyce whispers with a small smile "I suppose I should get some sleep, you should too, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow"
"Yes" El confirms and stands up, she hugs Joyce causing a soft sigh
Joyce kisses her on the side of the head.
"I'm going to sort this, I promise" Joyce whispers softly, El nods "Now let's get some sleep"
"Mama?"
Joyce smiles to herself and climbs into bed, she pulls Madeleine close to her body and blocks her in with pillows on the other side. She runs her fingers through her daughter's light brown hair which was slowly starting to get darker, her blue eyes staring sleepily back up at her. Joyce smiles to herself and bends down to kiss her little girl.
"You need to sleep, close eyes" she pokes Madeleine on the nose, she giggles softly before doing what she was told
"See dada tomorrow?"
"Maybe not tomorrow" Joyce whispers
She has to be prepared for that let alone getting her daughter to meet her dad, it was too much too soon.
"Maybe we can do something nice tomorrow afternoon if things don't get too busy" Joyce murmurs and Madeleine nods, she nuzzles into Joyce's side causing a smile "Get some sleep, love you"
"Love you too mama"
Joyce smiles and brushes her fingers softly against her daughter's cheek, she snuggles down into bed with her and smiles sadly at her life.
Her fractured family hurt her.
It hurt her a lot.