Work Text:
[Messages - The Seibros]
Not a Spitz: IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN!
Kawacummy: Oh no
Kawacummy: Wait why is that my nickname?
Not a Spitz: It prolly never changed from when Azuma-senpai was still here
Kawacummy: You guys could have at least told me…
Not a Spitz: We’ll worry about that later
Kawacummy: I can’t believe this
Cheetah Yankee: Sorry bro lmao
Not a Spitz: Anyway, as I was saying
Not a Spitz: IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN! Drop whatever you’re doing wherever you are and send a dick pic! For the bros of course, no homo
Not a Spitz: And this goes for everyone! Including the lurkers
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: I think he’s talking to you, Shirasu-senpai
My Name is Shirasu: 👀
Wamura: Does everyone include the first years??
Kanemom: What Isashiki-senpai said was pretty self-explanatory
Not a Spitz: Exactly
Wamura: WHYYYY DO I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN SUCH LASCIVIOUS ACTIVITY?? THIS IS AN INVASION OF PRIVACY AND I DO NOT CONSENT
Cheetah Yankee: Bakamura, I shouldn’t be able to hear you over text
Kanemom: My ears hurt and I’m nowhere near you
Wamura: Come on guys, we cannot stand for this injustice! Our nether-regions shan’t be for public display! Join me in this fight, Harucchi, Furuya!
Monster Rookie: Sure
Harucchi: Rules are rules, Eijun-kun. We don’t have a choice
Monster Rookie: Nvm
Wamura: Audible gasp! 😔
Miyuki Kazuya: Aww Sawamura, don’t be shy. I’ve seen yours plenty of times before, there’s no difference 😉
Miyuki Kazuya: And are we not gonna mention how Sawamura used the word “lascivious”?
Wamura: MIYUKI
Wamura: KAZUYA
Wamura: LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED YOU
Wamura: AND WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE WITH A NORMAL NAME?!!
Miyuki Kazuya: Not you calling me by my whole government when I keep telling you not to
Miyuki Kazuya: Just for that, let me check in my camera roll. I have lots of photos of Sawamura since he wants to get mouthy
Wamura: KAZUYA NO I’M SORRY pls fine ill participate don’t send those pics of me ill do it myself ill do anyhng
Miyuki Kazuya: Anything? 🤔
Cheetah Yankee: Aye aye y’all better cut this gay shit out fr. What I walked into last week still gives me nightmares
Masuko Tofu: Ugah (Me too. May Sawamura-chan’s innocence live on in our memories)
Get In The Zone Maezone: Ain’t no way “ugah” stood for all of that
Masuko Tofu: Ugah ugah (Trust me. It did)
Oh Nana What’s My Name: And somehow two “ugahs” stood for fewer words! Weird, right? Right?
Chris Angel: My apologies, I lent Sawamura my dictionary. To think he’d use it for that obscene word…
Wamura: Why does everything I do disappoint you, Master?!
Miyuki Kazuya: Jeez Sawamura, you need to make up your mind. You can’t call the both of us Master
Chris Angel: …
Cheetah Yankee: AYO WTF
Cheetah Yankee: I said cut that shit out Miyuki
Wamura: Thanks for being on my side Mochi-senpai!
Cheetah Yankee: Who said I’m on your side? I’m beating both of y’all asses after this, gross ass mfs
Wamura: Audible gulp!
Cheetah Yankee: And stop typing like that you weirdo
Legally Blind: How about you stop acting so righteous, Youichi? I can remember countless instances where you called me Master too
Harucchi: I—
My Name is Shirasu: 🫢
Kawacummy: omg
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Oop
Ono Dos Tres: What did I just walk into?
Wamura: I want to live a long healthy life, so I shall keep my mouth shut
Miyuki Kazuya: Wow, what a shocker. It’s always the loudest ones that be the hypocrites
Cheetah Yankee: Ryo-san how could you snake me like that????
Legally Blind: It would be irresponsible of me to watch you bark down the same tree you’re climbing and deceive everyone into thinking you’re above Sawamura
Miyuki Kazuya: I’m above Sawamura most of the time
Legally Blind: Okay you need to stop
Miyuki Kazuya: Fasho
Tanbarine (Ace): Finally, about time someone shut him up
Wamura: Thanks for kinda restoring my honor, Harucchi’s brother!!
Legally Blind: Oh, no worries. Still letting Youichi tear you apart though
Wamura: NOOOOOOO
[Miyuki Kazuya is typing…]
Cheetah Yankee: Miyuki don’t you dare
Miyuki Kazuya: Wasn’t even planning on it🚶
Cap’n Crunch: Sorry I’m late. I was practicing
Kanemom: Batting?
Cap’n Crunch: Yes. I stared at a wall for fifteen minutes then swung my bat once. I worked up quite a sweat
Harucchi: Ehhh…that doesn’t sound like much practice…
Get In The Zone Maezone: Captain is a different breed I’m telling ya
Cap’n Crunch: I appreciate it. Moving along, shall we begin, Jun?
Not a Spitz: This was so entertaining I almost forgot what we were here for lmao
Chris Angel: I’m at physical therapy with my father, so you’ll have to excuse me
Not a Spitz: It’s cool ur good
Not a Spitz: AIGHT LETS GET IT POPPING! UNLEASH THE SHMEATS!
Not a Spitz: I’ll go first
[Not a Spitz sent a photo.]
Cheetah Yankee: LMFAOOO Jun-san gave his dick the same trim as his beard
Not a Spitz: And what’s wrong with that?!
[Cap’n Crunch sent a photo.]
Legally Blind: Now I see why you two have been together for three years :)
Cap’n Crunch: ?
Not a Spitz: Tetsu why tf did you take a full body pic??! You’ve broken the number one rule…NEVER show your face!
Miyagucci: True, but we all know each other so it should be fine
Tanbarine (Ace): What happens in the gc stays in the gc
Not a Spitz: I’ll let it slide 🗿
Cap’n Crunch: I’ll be sure to avoid such a blunder in the future
[Masuko Tofu sent a photo.]
Wamura: Umm
Harucchi: I won’t say it if you don’t
Cheetah Yankee: Bro I’m cryingggg
Not a Spitz: This is why we keep telling you to lose weight Masuko!! Your stomach’s in the way of your dick, we can’t see anything!
Miyuki Kazuya: Do I detect fat-shaming?
Legally Blind: Do I detect a bitch?
Legally Blind: Shut it Miyuki
Miyuki Kazuya: You got it 💀
Not a Spitz: I’m not fat-shaming, I'm just tryna give him some advice
Ono Dos Tres: Did you try lifting your stomach Masuko?
Masuko Tofu: Ugah ugah ugahhh (That’s what I’m doing in the photo…)
Cheetah Yankee: I’m actually crying tears LMFAOOOO
Cheetah Yankee: Sawamura we’re doing an intervention. Clear out all the pudding in the fridge, we’re slimming Masuko-senpai down
Wamura: Roger that!
Masuko Tofu: Ugahhh! 😨
Oh Nana What’s My Name: No translation needed for that one, right? Right? Lol
[Tanbarine (Ace) sent a photo.]
Cap’n Crunch: Befitting of an ace
Monster Rookie: I won’t lose
Wamura: Me neither!
[Ono Dos Tres sent a photo.]
[Miyagucci sent a photo.]
[Kawacummy sent a photo.]
Not a Spitz: Hold onnnn Kawakami, is that you?? My sonnnn
Legally Blind: Never judge a book by its cover. I’m impressed
Cheetah Yankee: Y’all better stop sleeping on Kawakami, he’s packing!
Kawacummy: I want to crawl into a hole and die. This is so embarrassing
Miyagucci: Why else do y’all think I grab his balls all the time? He’s got a magnificent pair down there. Nice and heavy
Miyagucci: I’m proud 😤😤
Kawacummy: Miyauchi-senpai plssss stop harassing me
Miyagucci: 😤
[Kanemom sent a photo.]
Asou Not Asshole: Two dicks?
Kanemom: I’m with Tōjō
Harucchi: Aww their tips are touching. That’s cute
Asou Not Asshole: W couple
Masuko Tofu: Ugah (Very wholesome)
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: 😚
Kanemom: Thanks y’all
[Miyuki Kazuya is typing…]
Legally Blind: Shut up Miyuki
Miyuki Kazuya: 💀
Legally Blind: They’re the most stable couple out of all of us and I won’t let you ruin it
Cheetah Yankee: Gahlee you’re really on Miyuki’s ass tonight lmao
Legally Blind: Just doing the chat a favor <3
[Oh Nana What’s My Name sent a photo.]
[Get In The Zone Maezone sent a photo.]
Wamura: Zono-senpai, I don’t mean to be rude but…
Cheetah Yankee: Where it at tho?
Get In The Zone Maezone: Whaddya mean where it at? It’s right there!
Cheetah Yankee: Oh
Wamura: Oh
Not a Spitz: I thought that was your thumb tbh
Legally Blind: You’re being generous. I thought that was his pinky
Legally Blind: 🦐🤏
My Name is Shirasu: 🫢
Wamura: Don’t mind, Zono-senpai!! Guys stop making fun of him, maybe it’s genetic!
Get In The Zone Maezone: DATS JUST MAKING IT WORSE SAWAMURA!
Cap’n Crunch: Let’s behave
Not a Spitz: Stop the cap ur literally laughing right next to me Tetsu
Cap’n Crunch: Do as I say, not as I do
Legally Blind: No no we absolutely have to talk about this. I knew that brash and imposing demeanor on the field was just an act, Zono. You were compensating
Kanemom: This is cruel
Asou Not Asshole: Tell me about it
Oh Nana What’s My Name: Right? Right?
Miyuki Kazuya: Me personally, I wouldn’t let him talk to me like that. That’s just me though
Cheetah Yankee: Kominato come get ur brother, he’s on smoke he’s moving mad
Harucchi: I’m good
Get In The Zone Maezone: I ain’t got a micro! I’m a grower not a shower y’all foul fr
Legally Blind: Who said anything about micro? It's giving projection
Get In The Zone Maezone: On my mama y’all are my 13th reason 😭
Kawacummy: You’re not alone, Miyauchi-senpai was already my 13th reason
Miyagucci: 😤
[Asou Not Asshole sent a photo.]
Ono Dos Tres: Solid
Legally Blind: I heard through the grapevine that your gf left you after only 2-3 days
Legally Blind: I don’t blame her
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Omg
My Name is Shirasu: 🫢
Kanemom: Wow
Tanbarine (Ace): Ouch
Miyuki Kazuya: Everyone’s catching strays today
Cheetah Yankee: Ryo-san please chill lmao what did these ppl do to you
Harucchi: Aniki that wasn’t very nice
Asou Not Asshole: It was a short-lived relationship, but it’s only motivated me to become a better man, on and off the field
Asou Not Asshole: But damn that hurt ngl 🫠
Not a Spitz: Any more violating and I’m gonna have to time you out, Ryosuke
Legally Blind: Fine I digress
Not a Spitz: Shirasu stop lurking and send that shmeat already!
My Name is Shirasu: 👀
Not a Spitz: And stop with those damn emojis too!
[My Name is Shirasu sent a photo.]
Ono Dos Tres: Solid. I didn’t know what to expect but solid
Not a Spitz: Solid
Cap’n Crunch: Solid
Miyagucci: Nice pair of balls. Solid
Tanbarine (Ace): Solid
Wamura: Reliable Shirasu-senpai with a reliable peen! Solid
Miyuki Kazuya: Sawamura, don’t comment on other ppls penises when I’m right here
Cheetah Yankee: He’s literally seen half the team’s dicks, I think the damage is already done lmao
Miyuki Kazuya: Sawamura close your eyes
Wamura: ✨No✨
Miyuki Kazuya: I see how it is. Keep that same energy
Miyuki Kazuya: Solid cock though Shirasu
My Name is Shirasu: 🙂👍😁
[Legally Blind sent a photo.]
Cheetah Yankee: That’s my man! 🥳🥵
Legally Blind: Why is no one else typing? Don’t be afraid to comment, I don’t bite
[Miyuki Kazuya is typing…]
Legally Blind: I’ll bite you <3
Miyuki Kazuya: This isn't fair 😭
Masuko Tofu: Ugah ugah (Based on what happened previously, we have more than enough grounds to assume you’ll bite. Especially the younger kids)
Get In The Zone Maezone: Ik for a fact “ugah ugah” ain’t stand for all that
Kanemom: I’ll take the risk. It’s nice, Kominato-senpai
Kawacummy: Thanks for taking one for the team
Wamura: It’s respectable, Harucchi’s brother!
Legally Blind: I’m flattered
Not a Spitz: This would be the perfect chance for mini Kominato to send his! Let’s see how the younger sibling compares 👀
Harucchi: This isn’t a competition lol 😅
Cap’n Crunch: Don’t be nervous, this is a safe space
Not a Spitz: Yep
Asou Not Asshole: Damn liars 💀
Get In The Zone Maezone: ^
Masuko Tofu: ^
Tanbarine (Ace): Tetsu’s right, young Kominato. You have your ace and captain behind you, so no need to fear
Harucchi: I wasn’t actually nervous but here goes
[Harucchi sent a photo.]
Legally Blind: Oh my, how fine you’ve grown, Haruichi 😏
Harucchi: ANIKI!
Wamura: That’s my bestfriend, that’s my bestfriend!! Perioddtttt ❤️❤️❤️
Harucchi: 🙈
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Furuya’s been awfully quiet
Kanemom: That’s what I was gonna say
Legally Blind: Wait a minute
Legally Blind: I just zoomed into the picture
Legally Blind: Haruichi, is that Furuya in the background?
Harucchi: Okay now I’m nervous
Monster Rookie: … *blind walking emoji*
Legally Blind: You can’t ignore me over text
Legally Blind: Haruichi answer my question. Why is Furuya in your room?
Harucchi: Aniki I can explain
Legally Blind: Oh I’m sure you can
Miyuki Kazuya: Let me get my popcorn 🏃💨
Harucchi: We’re dating
Monster Rookie: We’re dating
My Name is Shirasu: 🫢
Legally Blind: Well, Furuya? Whip it out. Let’s see what you’ve tainted my little brother with 🤨
[Monster Rookie sent a photo.]
Legally Blind: Hmph. I’ll let you off for now. This isn’t the end of this conversation, you two
Monster Rookie: I get to survive another day
Harucchi: Thank goodness 😩
Cap’n Crunch: Befitting of a future ace, Furuya
Wamura: LEADER-SAN HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT
Kanemom: Sawamura stfu!
Wamura: I’ll become the ace! I’m more fit for the title!
Wamura: Not even, I AM the title! I’ll prove it!
Wamura: Mochi-senpai, help me get a good angle so I can send my pic!
Cheetah Yankee: Word to everything, you’re bugging tf out rn
Wamura: PLEASE
Cheetah Yankee: You got me fucked up
Wamura: Lend your favorite underclassman a hand!
Cheetah Yankee: You’re wilding rn. And “favorite”? You dragged it
Wamura: Don’t be stingy Mochi-senpai
Cheetah Yankee: You musta lost ur damn mind thinking I’m gonna help you take a dick pic
Legally Blind: Do it, Youichi. Sawamura vs Furuya, now this is a competition I want to see
Monster Rookie: Praying on my downfall
Legally Blind: I pray on everyone’s downfall. I'm a hater 😈
Cheetah Yankee: Ryo-san are you deadass??
Legally Blind: Your ass is about to be dead if you don’t do it
Kawacummy: Kuramochi we need you alive, pls do it
Cheetah Yankee: Ffs fine. I’ll send my pic before I help Sawamura
Wamura: YAYYY! Harucchi’s brother always coming in clutch 👊
Legally Blind: No problem
Cheetah Yankee: Aight mine’s sending. Lay down Sawamura
Miyuki Kazuya: Ayo?
[Cheetah Yankee sent a photo.]
Legally Blind: That’s my man 🍆💦
Miyuki Kazuya: Interesting
[Miyuki Kazuya sent a photo.]
Get In The Zone Maezone: You’re so extra bro
Tanbarine (Ace): This is why I dislike you
Not a Spitz: Petty af
My Name is Shirasu: 👎
Cap’n Crunch: What was the reason
Asou Not Asshole: Bruh
Monster Rookie: You’re my senpai and all, but you didn’t have to do that
Harucchi: Eijun-kun, I feel bad for you
Kawacummy: Why Miyuki just why
Legally Blind: I’ve had it up to here with you
Miyagucci: Doing the most 😤
Oh Nana What’s My Name: Right? Right?
Cheetah Yankee: What’s with all this damn vibrating?
Kanemom: Oh no
Cheetah Yankee: MIYUKI WTF
Cheetah Yankee: YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD
Cheetah Yankee: WHY TF DID YOU PUT A RULER NEXT TO YOUR DICK??!!!
Miyuki Kazuya: For maximum accuracy. No one else did it so I thought why not
Miyuki Kazuya: So? What do you guys think?
Cheetah Yankee: NAH NAH I can’t let this run
Cheetah Yankee: Sawamura find me a ruler QUICK
Wamura: Wait what’s going on
Masuko Tofu: Ugah (Scroll up)
Wamura: OMFG KAZUYA WHY
Wamura: Can’t you be a normal boyfriend for once?!
Miyuki Kazuya: There ain’t nothing normal about this size baby 😉
Wamura: I sucked your dick last night, was that not enough for your ego??!!!!
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Oop
Kanemom: SAWAMURA TMI
Monster Rookie: Whoa
Harucchi: I— Bestie pls
Not a Spitz: Exposed exposed
Cap’n Crunch: That was not an image I wanted to envision
Ono Dos Tres: Are we okay tonight?
Legally Blind: Go off, spill the tea
Tanbarine (Ace): Some things should be kept private
Kawacummy: Uh-huh
Miyuki Kazuya: In fact Sawamura, it wasn’t enough. Let’s finish what we started last night
Get In The Zone Maezone: I’m finna throw up fr
Legally Blind: You’re on thin ice buddy
Wamura: KAZUYA STAPH 😭
Cheetah Yankee: Sawamura hurry up with that fucking ruler!!!
Wamura: It’s right there
Asou Not Asshole: You two are in the same room, just talk lol
Cheetah Yankee: Aight I got the ruler, hold on
[Cheetah Yankee sent a photo.]
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Ooh, now Kuramochi-senpai resent his pic with a ruler next to it
Cheetah Yankee: Ain’t no fucking way…Miyuki’s dick is 0.1 inches bigger than mine…
Miyuki Kazuya: Hey bro, don’t beat yourself up about it. We can’t all be great 😁
Cheetah Yankee: This can’t be right cause ain’t no way
Miyuki Kazuya: The numbers don’t lie
Cheetah Yankee: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FOUR-EYED PRICK
Cheetah Yankee: THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU
Cheetah Yankee: Matter fact
[Cheetah Yankee has set Miyuki Kazuya’s nickname to No One Fucking Likes Me.]
No One Fucking Likes Me: Aw man, that’s not fair lmao. Sawamura likes me
Wamura: Y’all hear sumn?
No One Fucking Likes Me: Wowww that’s crazy. Once again, keep that same energy
Not a Spitz: Anyway, Sawamura you’re the last one up, let’s see what ur packing
Harucchi: Good luck Eijun-kun 😇
Wamura: Perfect, Mochi-senpai just snapped the greatest angle ever
Wamura: Prepare to be amazed by my Ace-worthy manhood!
Monster Rookie: Bring it on 😠
[Wamura sent a photo.]
No One Fucking Likes Me: Chef’s kiss 10/10 would fuck again. Will fuck again actually
Harucchi: Excellent photography, Kuramochi-senpai
Cheetah Yankee: I don’t ever wanna be praised for my dick photography skills 💀
Monster Rookie: We’re…tied?
Kanemom: Seems you’ll have to settle your rivalry on the field after all lol
Monster Rookie: I won’t lose 🔥
Masuko Tofu: Ugah ugah (It’s nice, Sawamura-chan)
Get In The Zone Maezone: Facts
Miyagucci: Facts x2
Not a Spitz: Facts x3
Cap’n Crunch: Factual x4
No One Fucking Likes Me: You can stop complimenting my boyfriend’s dick now, it’s beautiful ik
Hit My LINE: Your dick is just as I imagined, Eijun. Beautiful and unique, just like you
Hit My LINE: You still haven’t replied to my DM though
No One Fucking Likes Me: …
No One Fucking Likes Me: You’re done.
[No One Fucking Likes Me has kicked Hit My LINE from the group.]
Cheetah Yankee: Who tf was that?
Kawacummy: Was that Amahisa?
Not a Spitz: Who added him? Since when was he here??
No One Fucking Likes Me: Sawamura, did you add him to the chat?
Wamura: Maaaaaybe
Wamura: Yeah it was me 🤠
Cheetah Yankee: Now why tf would you do that?? This is STRICTLY for the Seido bros, not that bald-headed lanky fuck
Super Nada: Damn, does that mean I gotta leave too?
Harucchi: SANADA-SENPAI’S HERE TOO?
Kanemom: Sawamura go to hell
Cheetah Yankee: Bakamura wtf is wrong with you?! We talk strategy here, are you trying to sabotage us???
Kawacummy: We’ve been compromised
Asou Not Asshole: We’ve been hoed
Wamura: I’M SORRY THEY KEPT PRESSURING ME TO LET THEM JOIN
Legally Blind: I’m dealing with idiots I swear
Cheetah Yankee: Yeah Sanada you gotta hit the road man, sorry
Super Nada: Lol, no worries. I’ll see myself out
Super Nada: Nice dick btw, Eijun. And reply to my DM while you’re at it ;)
[Super Nada has left the group.]
No One Fucking Likes Me: …
My Name is Shirasu: 🫢
Harucchi: Eijun-kun we were rooting for you 🤦
No One Fucking Likes Me: Let me get this straight, Sawamura
Tanbarine (Ace): Oh dear
No One Fucking Likes Me: Not only did you add Amahisa and Sanada to the group, but they also call you by your first name and send you DMs?
Meigan Thee Champion: Yeahhh this is looking icy so imma head out
Tada! No?: Mei-san?
Meigan Thee Champion: Itsuki?
Cheetah Yankee: SAWAMURA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Wamura: I SAID I WAS SORRY T__T
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Omg they keep coming out the woodworks
Meigan Thee Champion: Itsuki what are you doing here?
Tada! No?: I honestly have no idea, but wherever Mei-san goes, I follow
Cheetah Yankee: No the real question is what are Y’ALL still doing here? Gtfo already
Meigan Thee Champion: A king leaves whenever he pleases, thank you very much. I just wanted to say something
Meigan Thee Champion: Kazuya, since you didn’t take my offer to join Inashiro I’m gonna take your boyfriend instead
Meigan Thee Champion: Eijun baby I finally freed my schedule, so I’m totally down for Saturday night if you still are
Meigan Thee Champion: Nice dick btw
Meigan Thee Champion: Let’s go Itsuki
[Meigan Thee Champion has left the group.]
[Tada! No? has left the group.]
No One Fucking Likes Me: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Mei too??
Harucchi: Eijun-kun we’re not friends anymore
Poppin' Pompadour: Eijun I got us tickets to that carnival in town that we talked about. See you on Friday at 10 :)
Poppin' Pompadour: Nice dick btw
[Poppin' Pompadour has left the group.]
Monster Rookie: Was that Umemiya from Ugumori?
Wamura: It’s not what it looks like I swearrrrr
Wamura: I don’t even remember adding him I promise
Kanemom: My fist has your name written all over it Sawamura
You(r) Sunshine: Eijun, I finally got around to making you that playlist. I hope you enjoy it as I curated it with care. Tell me your thoughts when you’ve listened to it
Not a Spitz: CLOCKWORK FROM AKIKAWA?!
Legally Blind: This is getting ridiculous
Cheetah Yankee: Boyyyy you aren’t even officially allowed to play baseball here, gtfo with your wasted potential “tick-tock on the clock” Kesha headass
Legally Blind: Miyuki, your boyfriend’s getting ran through like a Walmart on Black Friday and you’re not gonna do anything about it? It’s giving bitch, it’s giving cuck
You(r) Sunshine: What a colorful group of individuals. I’ll be waiting for your reply, Eijun
You(r) Sunshine: Nice dick by the way
[You(r) Sunshine has left the group.]
Mukai Taiyō: I wanted to join in on the fun, but what’s with all the hostile energy here? Get away from these buffoons Eijun, they clearly don’t know how to behave. It’ll rub off on you
Wamura: Okay now I definitely didn't add you 🗿
Not a Spitz: Yeah I believe you this time
Harucchi: Me too
Legally Blind: Totally because Mukai of all people? Respectfully, ew. Sawamura has better taste
No One Fucking Likes Me: Thanks I guess??
Miyagucci: How did he get in here?
Not a Spitz: He probably hacked into this group chat
Legally Blind: We don’t claim him. Sick em, Youichi
Cheetah Yankee: I’m already on it Ryo-san
Cheetah Yankee: Don’t move Mukai I got sumn for you, I'm on that ass
[Cheetah Yankee is typing...]
Kawcummy: Kuramochi’s been typing for an awfully long while
Masuko Tofu: Ugah ugah (He’s about to flame Mukai into oblivion)
Ono Dos Tres: Everyone take cover
Mukai Taiyō: Oh please, what could he possibly say that’ll hurt my feelings? Anywho Eijun how’ve you been?
Wamura: Better before you showed up 😬
Not a Spitz: He don’t know you lil bro
Cheetah Yankee: Mukai you’re a poor man’s Narumiya
Cheetah Yankee: Your haircut? Wack. Your pitching style? Wack. Your baseball uniform? Wack. That tongue you always stick out? Wack. Your height? Wack. You wish Sawamura would waste his time texting you
Cheetah Yankee: Big ass forehead, built like the dude on the Pringles can
Cheetah Yankee: And how your catcher in high school but he look like he’s 35 with a mortgage and three kids?? He needa get a job and put down the mitt
Kanemom: Yikesss 😭
My Name is Shirasu: 🤯
Not a Spitz: Holy shit
Kawacummy: Kuramochi stop killing him, he’s already dead
No One Fucking Likes Me: That one there was a violation, personally I wouldn’t have it
Monster Rookie: Brutal
Mukai Taiyō: Me, a poor man’s Narumiya? That’s not the insult you think it is. I’m evidently better than him
Cheetah Yankee: Stop the cap you salty brat
No One Fucking Likes Me: I could use some of that salt to season my popcorn Mukai, it’s kinda bland. Kinda like your pitching
Mukai Taiyō: You know what, I’m clearly not wanted here. Text me later Eijun
Wamura: No thank you :)
Mukai Taiyō: Fine. I hope you evil people never make it to Koshien
Cheetah Yankee: And I hope your mama chokes on a shoelace
Cheetah Yankee: Now get that ass banned
[Cheetah Yankee has kicked Mukai Taiyō from the group.]
Tanbarine (Ace): Finally he’s gone
Wamura: Thanks for defending me guys 🙇
Wamura: ...guys?
No One Fucking Likes Me: Oh you’re not off the hook just yet
No One Fucking Likes Me: Sawamura
Cap’n Crunch: Sawamura
Kawacummy: Sawamura
Cheetah Yankee: Sawamura
Masuko Tofu: Ugah (Sawamura-chan)
Wamura: GUYS HEAR ME OUT
Get In The Zone Maezone: We ain’t never making it to Koshien, they know everything about us T__T
Wamura: So what had happened was
No One Fucking Likes Me: Shut it. It’s my turn to speak
No One Fucking Likes Me: Let me rephrase my previous statement. Not only did you add Amahisa, Sanada, Mei, Umemiya, You Shunshin, and Mukai to the group, but they also call you by your first name, sent you DMs, AND you have plans with them???
Legally Blind: I know a train when I see one. Choo choo
Legally Blind: 🚂🚂
No One Fucking Likes Me: Is there something you would like to say to this, Sawamura?
Wamura: Kazuya babe please
Wamura: You have the wrong idea
No One Fucking Likes Me: Don’t “babe” me
No One Fucking Likes Me: Remember when I told you to keep that same energy? Yeah, you’re done. Come to my room rn
Wamura: KAZUYA NOOOOO
Harucchi: RIP Eijun-kun
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: It was inevitable
Masuko Tofu: Ugah ugah ugah ugah (May Sawamura-chan live on in our memories)
Cheetah Yankee: Send him back when ur done Miyuki. I wanna beat his ass so bad he turns right-handed
No One Fucking Likes Me: Bet
Kanemom: I would like to join
Legally Blind: Me too
My Name is Shirasu: 👍
Wamura: EVEN SHIRASU-SENPAI?!
Not a Spitz: Alright, it’s settled. We’re all collectively beating the brain cells back into Sawamura’s ass after this
Get In The Zone Maezone: Y’all said we jumping him?
Monster Rookie: I’ll get the camera and record
Monster Rookie: Worldstar
Wamura: FURUYA YOU TRAITOR
Cap’n Crunch: Honestly Sawamura, you shouldn’t be talking
Tanbarine (Ace): Precisely. You baited us out
Cheetah Yankee: Sawamura’s an opp, he’s a rat and a snake
Legally Blind: And he’s apparently getting ran through by the entire West Tokyo pitcher lineup. How shameful. Or shameless, rather
Oh Nana What’s My Name: Right? Right?
Miyagucci: Disgraceful. Not manly at all 😤
No One Fucking Likes Me: Kuramochi open the door
Wamura: Y’ALL NOT EVEN LETTING ME DEFEND MYSELF GAHLEE 😭💀 KAZUYA OWWW YOU’RE HURTING ME
No One Fucking Likes Me: How could you be so naive, Sawamura? How could you do this to me? Stay still!
Wamura: WAHHHHHHH!!
Not a Spitz: 🤦
Not a Spitz: While Miyuki and Sawamura handle their business, let’s wrap up this damn convo
Not a Spitz: Thanks for participating in the Dick Check everyone, it was fun. No homo tho of course lmao we’re just some bros
Kawacummy: Can we please not do this again?
Not a Spitz: ✨No✨
Not a Spitz: Aight gang let’s call it a night
[Bossy_Shades1 has joined the group.]
Not a Spitz: ???
Kanemom: Who is that?
Get In The Zone Maezone: Idk
Cheetah Yankee: The name does sound familiar tho
Tanbarine (Ace): How’d they join?
Cap’n Crunch: If you're not an original member, you can only join with an invite
No One Fucking Likes Me: Sawamura?
Wamura: I put it on my dad’s failed music career that it wasn’t me this time
Cap’n Crunch: @Bossy_Shades1 State your name, age, place of birth, permanent address, Social Security, and who sent you.
[Bossy_Shades1 sent a photo.]
Not a Spitz: ?????
Cap’n Crunch: ?
Ono Dos Tres: ??
Miyagucci: ???
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Hello?
No One Fucking Likes Me: Whose dick is that?
Not a Spitz: WAIT OMFG THAT’S COACH KATAOKA
Cheetah Yankee: AYYYE FUCKINGG YOOOOO
[Kanemom sent a GIF]: Cardi_B_ahhh_what_the_fuck.gif
Kawacummy: HUHHHHH
Cheetah Yankee: AW HELL NAH IM OUTTA HERE
[Cheetah Yankee has left the group.]
Get In The Zone Maezone: SHIT ABORT ABORT ABORT
[Get In The Zone Maezone has left the group.]
[Oh Nana What’s My Name has left the group.]
Miyagucci: Nice pair coach 😤
Kawacummy: I’m scarred for life. Get me out of here
[Miyagucci has left the group.]
[Kawacummy has left the group.]
Harucchi: My eyessssss babe let’s go
Monster Rookie: I won’t lose, Coach Kataoka 🔥
Harucchi: SATORU NOW IS NOT THE TIME
[Monster Rookie has left the group.]
[Harucchi has left the group.]
[Asou Not Asshole has left the group.]
Masuko Tofu: I’m too shocked to even type in ugahs
[Masuko Tofu has left the group.]
Kanemom: Tōjō let’s scram!
Tōjō Heeheedeaki: Don’t gotta tell me twice
[Kanemom has left the group.]
[Tōjō Heeheedeaki has left the group.]
My Name is Shirasu: I’m speechless
[My Name is Shirasu has left the group.]
Tanbarine (Ace): I’ll pretend this never happened
Legally Blind: Rei-san must be a happy woman, Coach. I’ll send my regards <3
[Legally Blind has left the group.]
[Tanbarine (Ace) has left the group.]
Wamura: H-HORSE! BOSS IS A HORSE! MOOOO!
No One Fucking Likes Me: Sawamura Eijun my lovely boyfriend in Christ, that is the sound a COW makes
Wamura: Crap you're right my bad
Wamura: NEIGHHHH!
No One Fucking Likes Me: SHUT UP AND LET’S DIP!
Wamura: SORRY
[Wamura has left the group.]
[No One Fucking Likes Me has left the group.]
Not a Spitz: Tetsuuuu we gotta go brooooo
Cap’n Crunch: Alright
[Not a Spitz has left the group.]
[Cap’n Crunch has left the group.]
[Yuki Tetsuya has rejoined the group.]
[Yuki Tetsuya has taken a screenshot of Bossy_Shades1’s photo!]
[Yuki Tetsuya has left the group.]
Bossy_Shades1: What’s the matter? Why is everyone leaving?
Chris Angel: I just left physical therapy, guys. Here’s my contribution if I’m not too late
[Chris Angel sent a photo.]
Bossy_Shades1: Chris?
Chris Angel: …
Chris Angel: oh my god
[Chris Angel deleted a photo.]
[Chris Angel has left the group.]
Bossy_Shades1: Where did everyone go…?