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Christmas.
A time when snowflakes fall upon white citysquares lit up with illuminated holiday decorations. A time when families and extended loved ones gather around for a great feast filled with harmonious and loving laughter. A time of cheer and a time of joy. And a time when everyone looks back at the memories and experiences they shared together throughout the past year.
Everyone has their own version of Christmas. And for Wonwoo, this was not it.
Well, it was. But not anymore.
Ever since his mother and father had gone on ahead, making their mark amongst the stars and leaving Wonwoo alone, he no longer experienced the familial togetherness almost everyone had during Christmas. He carries the heartwarming memories of those times close to his heart. He remembers feeling content with spending the holiday with just the three of them. But soon, three became two. And two became one.
Now, he spends every Christmas eve having a small stroll through the snowscape of the city streets, watching the snowflakes twinkle against the reflection of lit-up candy canes and Santa Claus decor. And this year was just the same.
Except for the fact that it hadn't snowed yet.
Despite it being the end of December, Seoul had strangely yet to experience its first snow. It was the first time this phenomenon had occurred in decades— maybe even centuries—that Seoul was not covered in a blanket of white during Christmas. Was it climate change and global warming? Wonwoo didn't know.
He doesn't let it bother him though. Everything else was still the same. The Christmas jingles coming from someplace he couldn't pinpoint, the crisp cold of the weather reddening his cheeks, and of course, the families with blinding smiles taking a stroll alongside him.
It was still all familiar.
Wonwoo keeps walking by the sidewalk, letting his feet take him someplace he doesn't know. He notices a new diner a few meters away from where he was, bold and bright red letters shining through the cold. It intrigues him, so he walks blindly towards the place until—
"Ow!"
"Oomphf!"
Wonwoo feels his butt hit the concrete ground as he collides with another body that had rushed towards his side. Had he… crashed into someone? Wonwoo shakes off the pain and slowly gets up, dusting his pants as he hears the other person speak. "I-I'm so sorry!"
"Hey… don't worry about it." He offers his hand to the man and helps him get up. Their eyes meet and Wonwoo stops dead in his tracks. The man was… Beautiful. Ethereal. Unlike anyone Wonwoo had ever seen before. He had long black hair, a soft face, and wide puffy eyes.
Wait. Wide puffy eyes?
Had… had he been crying?
Wonwoo gets out of his reverie and realizes he was still holding the man's hand. He quickly let's go. "Uhm, I… are you okay?"
"Huh? A-Ah, yes," The man's eyes widened. Was it in embarrassment? "T-thank you. And… S-sorry again for bumping into you."
Wonwoo notices the stranger before him shivering intensely, the cold even seeping through his voice as he speaks. It was only then that he realized that the stranger was wearing a simple turtleneck long sleeve and nothing else. No coat or jacket to help fight off the winter air. No gloves nor a scarf either.
"Hey, you're shivering really bad," without thinking, he quickly takes off his coat and offers it to the stranger, "take my coat."
"N-no. I can't… do t-that." The other attempts to ward off the coat that was being offered to him, albeit weakly. Wonwoo settled on just putting it over his shoulders for the time being.
He felt a bit at a loss of what to do. He couldn't just leave this man here when he looks just about on the verge of hypothermia. Wonwoo couldn't just leave his expensive coat either. He's not trying to lose any of his already-little possessions, okay!
"How about this, let's get you somewhere warm first." Wonwoo looks around for someplace for them to stay. "How about that new diner just up ahead? At least until your body has warmed up again."
Wonwoo waited until the stranger gave a small, shaky nod. "May I touch your shoulder?" The stranger nods again.
He slowly and carefully leads the man towards the restaurant, giving reassuring rubs as they went. Eventually, they make it inside the diner, situated at the very back corner where not many people pass by and not much attention could be drawn to them.
He orders them both a mug of hot chocolate and simply watches the man in front of him warm himself up with the drink. He tries to busy himself with the view, looking at anything but the stranger who was wrapped in his coat. The diner was neatly decorated, it had sort of a retro feel to it. All of which greatly contrasted the added Christmas decorations that were placed to match the holiday. It was then that many thoughts began to run inside Wonwoo's head.
Why was this man running in the city street in the middle of Christmas eve with nothing but his thin, long sleeve shirt? Where was his family? His friends? His loved ones? Not to mention he looked like he had been crying for hours—and intensely. Was he in danger?
A small voice brings Wonwoo back from his thoughts. "Thank you…"
He looks up as it registers to his mind that it was the pretty stranger talking to him. "Ah. Don't worry about it. I just… wanted to help."
The stranger shakes his head as he looks at Wonwoo. He tries not to get awestruck at the sight in front of him, winter wonderlands be damned. "Still, I'm sorry. You probably have better things to do than watch over a clumsy stranger you don't even know on Christmas eve."
"Hey," Wonwoo catches the man's eyes again, making sure he was assured and understood the genuineness he was trying to convey. "It's alright. Honestly, I don't have anything better to do with my night. So there's no need for you to apologize, uh…" He stops, realizing he still doesn't know the other's name.
"Ah! I'm so sorry. I mean– shit, I apologized again…" Wonwoo tried to suppress the smile that was threatening to erupt due to how cute the man in front of him was. He simply watches as the other shakes his head.
"Let's try this again. I'm Jeonghan."
Jeonghan.
"I'm Wonwoo."
The two simply smile at each other, Wonwoo glad to finally have a name to match the man's pretty face. Silence envelopes them then, and it makes Wonwoo shift uncomfortably. Still, he tries his luck. I mean, they've already shared their names, haven't they?
"I don't know if I'm being nosy — you don't have to answer if you don't want to — but… may I ask why you were outside without a coat?"
The stranger — Jeonghan — looks a bit taken aback by the sudden question, before looking outside at the window sill. Wonwoo waits quietly for a response.
"I don't know how to put this…" He warms up his hands with the hot chocolate, "My… boyfriend and I… got into a fight. I broke up with him and I ran outside without thinking. I left my coat and gloves at his apartment."
To say he was speechless was an understatement. Wonwoo couldn't control his expression as Jeonghan suddenly laughed. "Don't look too shocked. Honestly speaking, it was bound to happen."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be…" Jeonghan stared far away and was seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Wonwoo wonders if it's possible for any person to glow. He couldn't help but feel… enthralled.
"How about you? What are you doing walking alone on Christmas eve?"
Wonwoo felt his cheeks heat up a little as they made eye contact. Did Jeonghan catch him staring? "W-well, it's not anything out of the ordinary for me. I know most people spend the holiday with their loved ones but… I've been spending it alone after both my parents passed away."
"Oh… I'm sorry." The other scrunched his face up in a way that made Wonwoo amused.
"Don't be." He takes a sip of his own hot chocolate. "Anyway, it was a long time ago. And I've learned to appreciate the solitude."
The other nods understandingly.
The two then go off to talk about everything and all things, slowly but surely breaking the initial wall of awkwardness and caution that stood between them — which was surprisingly easy to do. Wonwoo didn't know when and how their conversation jumped from high-school embarrassing stories to their favorite Christmas movies to the different companies they've worked for in their lifetimes.
And Wonwoo felt… warm. Warmer than he had in a really, really long time.
Eventually, both their mugs run cold and they hear the waitress call out to them that the diner was almost closing. They stare at each other for a moment before erupting in soft laughter — they hadn't felt the time pass at all. It was 9:00 pm when they left.
"Ah wait, your coat–"
"Just keep it for now, I don't want to see you shivering like you did earlier." Wonwoo replied, very much willing to walk in the freezing air if it meant Jeonghan could be kept warm.
"But still… I don't want to see you be shivering." He sees Jeonghan look from side to side with a thoughtful expression, as if he were looking for something. "There!"
Wonwoo turns to look at where the other had pointed at — it was a small clothing store that had yet to close for the night. "I'll just buy a new coat."
The older practically sprints towards the shop, leaving no room for argument. Wonwoo sighs, before following the other with an endeared smile. He watches as Jeonghan tries on several clothings from trench coats to parkas to fleece coats — the older asks for his opinion after every dress-up.
Wonwoo thinks he looks dashing every single time.
He hears Jeonghan suddenly gasp, before grabbing a beige trench coat with shoulder pads. The man excitedly stood in front of the mirror to try it on. While the older was preoccupied with his shopping endeavors, a particular item hanging by the racks catches Wonwoo's attention. He inspects it before heading over to the counter.
Finally, Jeonghan settles with buying the beige trench coat after a long and serious rumination. That's when Wonwoo sees it once more — the way Jeonghan glows.
The two walk side by side, Wonwoo now wearing his own coat while Jeonghan wears his new one. They silently appreciate the beautiful and bright urban surroundings that encapsulated them. Though fewer than earlier that night, many families, friends, and couples still roamed around the streets as they did, all enjoying the Christmas spirit. Wonwoo thinks he's finally started to enjoy it too.
He sneaked a glance to the man beside him and there it was again — the glowing. It seemed to increase in luminescence tenfold once surrounded by the city lights against the evening sky. They spread and scattered exuberantly upon Jeonghan's milky skin. They reflect and shine upon his eyes that seemed to hold millions of unexplored galaxies. Wonwoo would like to explore them all, he thinks, if he would be given the chance.
"I know you said you don't want to see me shivering anymore but stare any longer and I might actually melt on the spot."
Jeonghan's sudden speech cuts off Wonwoo's train of thought. His cheeks flare up immediately — and not because of the cold. He doesn't miss the way the older had a matching pair of tinted cheeks too.
"My bad," he chuckles to shake off the embarrassment.
They become enveloped in silence again. Both looking at anything but the other. Wonwoo musters up his courage.
"Hey, Jeonghan?"
"Hm?" The older man turns to look at Wonwoo before his eyes widen with surprise at an immediate warmth. Wonwoo wraps a scarf around his neck, tying it securely but not tightly. The two were close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of the other.
"Just a little extra something to keep you warm." They make eye contact. "Just in case."
They continue to stare at each other, with Wonwoo's hands still clinging to Jeonghan's scarf. Wonwoo can feel his heart hammering wildly within his chest, and if he focuses closely enough, he could feel Jeonghan's heart hammering just as wildly too.
The older man smiles lightly, before speaking in a hushed, playful tone. "Easy now, I'll have you know I have a two-month or more interval with every relationship I get into."
Both men stop, registering what Jeonghan had just uttered.
Jeonghan backs away a little in embarrassment, "Shit, I didn't mean to imply that we'd– I mean, I just–"
Wonwoo couldn't register what the other was saying, too caught up trying to understand what he had just implied with his statement. Did he think that they… Was there a chance that…
Could it be that Jeonghan was feeling the same way?
With questions running amok in his mind, something catches his attention all of a sudden. Wonwoo gasps, and it stops Jeonghan from his spiel. "Look!"
Both men look up and become enraptured by something gently falling from the sky. It was tiny, barely noticeable unless one squints really hard to see it, but both men followed it with their eyes speechlessly. It was a snowflake. The white little snowflake lands between them and it leaves them staring at one another once again. Soon enough, they become surrounded by various tiny specks of snow and unique little snowflakes. It was enchanting, to say the least.
"It's the first snow."
"It is."
The pair lets themselves be enveloped by the falling specklings sparkling against the evening, glad to finally have snow in the winter, as it always should be. Somehow, they find their way on a bench in the city park, away from the bustling crowds and Christmas jingles. There, Jeonghan spoke in a voice only meant to be heard by Wonwoo.
"You know…" Wonwoo hums to signal that he's listening. "I didn't…actually fight with my ex earlier. I actually saw him with another man when I entered the apartment." Wonwoo looks at him then.
"I gave him a slap in the face, of course, told him we were over, and ran." He sees Jeonghan smile while looking back at what had occurred earlier that evening.
"I guess… I just felt really shitty and stupid afterwards. Stupid for tolerating my ex for so long even though I knew we were long overdue. Stupid for forgetting my things when I knew I'll never step foot in his apartment again–"
"You're not stupid." Wonwoo mumbled genuinely.
This makes Jeonghan giggle softly — a sound Wonwoo could get used to hearing. "Let me finish," he continues, "I felt stupid for letting myself be miserable in a time that was supposed to be filled with joy. I felt horrible… and alone," Jeonghan meets his eyes, "until I bumped into you."
Jeonghan faces him too, then, taking one of his hands in his own. "Thank you, Wonwoo. You've made this night memorable for me. In a good way," he adds, "I don't think I'll ever forget this night."
Wonwoo brings out his other hand to gently hold Jeonghan's, too. "Thank you, too, Jeonghan, for making this Christmas one of the best in a long time."
What happens next catches Wonwoo by surprise. He couldn't count how many times he's had this type of moment throughout the night. Would it always be like this with Jeonghan?
The older man leans forward to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. It takes some time, but it makes Wonwoo smile from ear to ear, an image gladly mirrored by Jeonghan. They exchange phone numbers afterwards, promising with joyful hearts to see each other again soon.
Wonwoo's version of Christmas is far from those of others. It had been for a really, really long time. But he supposes, he could get used to a new version of Christmas. One filled with retro style decor, two cups of hot chocolate, street-shopping, snow cascading onto concrete, and one beautiful and warm-hearted man.