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It started by accident, I certainly did not intend to… feel like this, and did not want to either. He had passed out from training and I realized I was starting at him. I noticed I didn’t want to stop looking. So I stared for a minute, for once his face was not in that constant frown, but relaxed, peaceful. Something I never have the pleasure of seeing when he is conscious. ‘Of course not, to him I am just a perverted, old, shady shop-keeper.’ My mind points out to me. His zanpakuto lies beside him.
Silently, I stand and get ready to start training him again; I push my new discovery to the back of my mind. A hint of regret taints my thoughts as I ready my blade. I replaced my frown with a smile. The only warning I give is a spike in my reiatsu. He is up and moving as I release my blade, a frown on his handsome face once more. Zangetsu is heading towards my torso before I block the large Khyber shaped blade. When our blades cross I can feel my Benehime hum, she has grown fond of Zangetsu, a reflection of my feelings towards Ichigo.
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Behind me I hear Ichigo and his friends talking as I prepare the Senkaimon, or I act like I do. In truth the Senkaimon needs very little preparation normally and even with the soul-particle converter it needs only a little extra attention. As I complete the finishing touches l am tempted to act like something is wrong, to tell them they cannot go to soul society. ‘Or more like just Ichigo.’ My mind sees fit to tell me. But in the end I do not ‘I cannot leave Aizen to gain the Hogyoku without even trying to prevent him.’ I stand before the group, and begin to speak,_ “All right your attention please! Here we go. This is the gate that leads to Soul Society it’s known as Senkaimon…”_ I give my speech whilst poking Ichigo from his body, and I find myself even more uncomfortable with the thought of sending Ichigo to Soul Society, but he doesn’t hesitate for a second.
I watch as the Senkaimon stands before me, Ichigo and his friends having already passed through, I whisper to the now empty room, _“I am counting on you… Kurosaki-kun.”_ I swallow down the guilt with long practice easing its passage. ‘I am sorry Ichigo, please come back!’