Chapter Text
– childe added 9 people to a group chat
childe; guys
childe; guys
sandrone; literally what
sandrone; its three am
childe; stfu
childe; guess whos no longer bitchless
dottore; ur mom.
dottore; because im gonna FUCK HER.
dottore; so stfu
childe; what if my moms dead
childe; and aren't u down bad for someone already
dottore; skill issue
dottore; kys child
childe; its still spelt childe!! hasn't changed
dottore; do i look like i care.
childe; idk u wear a mask so.
sandrone; SHUT UP ITS TO EARLY FOR THIS
dottore; childe i hope ur bitch leaves u on ur wedding day.
sandrone; don't make me tell the old men about this.
dottore; @childe sorry.
dottore; don't tell pierro pls
childe; HELP??
childe; dottores only weakness. old men.
dottore; he already scolded me earlier for calling scaramouche a slur.
childe; what
childe; u what now
dottore; yeah
signora; will u both shut up
signora; go to bed
childe; can't
childe; im on a DATE
signora; yeah right
signora; i highly doubt anyone wants dick so bad they'd go to you
childe; MOTHERFUCKER
dottore; LMAO L
signora; same for you dottore.
dottore; good thing i don't have a dick then
signora; more like good thing ur a bitch boy
dottore; not the roasted harbinger talking
signora; LITERALLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN
signora; WDYM ROASTED??
signora; IS THIS A INSIDE JOKE. I WANT IN.
dottore; u wouldn't understand babygirl
signora; bitch
signora; ur more babygirl then i am
dottore; fair enough.
childe; ROASTED HARBINGER BYE
childe; dottore u gotta stop this madness
childe; leave her be LMAOAOAOOA
dottore; yummy. harbinger for lunch.
dottore; says the one who said ur gonna snort her ashes the day she dies
signora; what.
dottore; don't worry about it
childe; SHUT UP
childe; anyways as i was saying
childe; im on a date
childe; hes a rlly nice guy
dottore; let me guess
dottore; morax.
signora; WHAT
signora; MORAX??
signora; THE FUCKING
signora; ARCHON??
signora; LMAOAOAOOAOAOA DOTTORE R U FR
dottore; i am.
dottore; childe has befriended morax.
dottore; and DESPERATELY wants to get into his pants.
childe; SHUT UP
childe; his name is zhongli
signora; oh my god
signora; U WERE /SRS DOTTORE??
dottore; i did say that, yes.
signora; im telling tsaritsa
childe; NO
childe; don't pls
childe; i'll pay u
signora; with whos mora. we all know without pants you'd be a broke bitch.
pantalone; what.
dottore; OANTS
dottore; PANTS
dottore; hello.
pantalone; ??
pantalone; hi??
signora; dottore
signora; why do u have a whole separate notification sound for pants.
dottore; kys
dottore; pants
dottore; hey pants
pantalone; my name is pantalone.
dottore; pant-alone because ur bitchless.
dottore; pants don't give childe any mora if he asks
dottore; hes on a date
dottore; i wanna see him get broker then his bitch.
childe; i don't even think thats possible
childe; zhongli has a total of zero mora
childe; /srs
signora; HOW DOES SOMEONE HAVE ZERO MORA 💀
childe; i think he gets robbed alot or something
dottore; skill issue.
sandrone; guys
sandrone; put ur phones down
sandrone; lay down
sandrone; close ur eyes
sandrone; and SLEEP ALREADY.
childe; no LMAOAOAOA
sandrone; don't make me tell captain.
childe; im sorry. going to bed now.
dottore; 💀💀💀💀
dottore; capitano can go kill himself.
dottore; /joke
sandrone; damm
sandrone; isn't he ur malewife??
dottore; is he??
pantalone; what.
dottore; WHY WOULD CAP BE MY MALEWIFE??
signora; U SAID HE WAS MALEWIFE MATERIAL
signora; "he can cook, he can clean. hes perfect."
dottore; HELWRHW
dottore; NORA
dottore; SHUT UP
signora; dottore swapping bitches every two seconds fr
signora; wasn't pantalone ur malewife?
dottore; no??
dottore; hes my wallet theres a difference, nora.
signora; oh
signora; ok wait so
signora; pants is ur wallet
signora; cap is ur malewife
dottore; yeah what about it
signora; dottore does this make u the babygirl
dottore; uh
dottore; @childe screw ur date wanna be my bbg
dottore; /j /j
childe; HELP??
childe; okay!!
dottore; @signora no im not the babygirl.
signora; dottore what is with u and cis boys
dottore; cuz i love men
– scaramouche left the group chat
dottore; guess he doesn't like men
signora; lmao LLLLLLL