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Zuko entered through the door to the visiting room where his sister was waiting for him. He had learned that she was doing better recently. The status reports from the prison were among those he never ignored nor delegated. Still, letters could lie more easily than a person. For that reason he always asked a nurse or guard and carefully watched their reaction when he arrived. He needed and appreciated this last bit of preparation, to learn how she was feeling and doing, whether she got into any trouble and why, and most importantly how her recovery from her sickness was progressing, or not.
It was better to ask the staff for details, not because Azula would be lying, though she certainly wasn't above that, but because she wanted to see her brother, not a doctor with a different uniform. With no small amount of relief, Zuko learned that ever since she made friends among the prisoners her state was slowly yet steadily improving, bad days, temporary relapses and bad reactions to medication not withstanding.
At last, when he heard enough he took a deep breath and entered her sight. She seemed a little off, as always unfortunately, but at least she no longer needed cuffs when seeing him and he hoped to never see those things on her again. Even her eyes had regained a certain shine, though they were still more dull than before her confinement. Zuko could even make out the sincere attempt of a smile before she stood up from her chair, clasped her hands together and made a very deep bow. The gesture had become a habit of hers recently, which prompted him to say:
"Azula, you don't have to stand up and bow every time I enter here."
"I don't know about you but I was raised to show reverence to my superiors."
"Then, as your superior, I order you NOT to do it anymore."
There was a time when Zuko would have enjoyed seeing her humble herself for his sake. That time had long past, vengefulness replaced by stomach churning pity. Azula was still able to make him angry, frustrated, annoyed or plain confused but even at his most emotional it was hard to forget what their positions were now. While he enjoyed the adoration of his subjects and the love of his family and friends, she was probably alone and lonely in her cell. Fortunately Azula herself liberated him from this train of thought when she said:
"What happened to the peace and kindness approach you love so much?"
Zuko couldn't help a small smile. She was still so full of tricks but now they've started to become actually amusing.
"I brought you mom's tart cherry mochis. You like those even more than regular cherries, right?"
"Your sign of goodwill is accepted my lord."
A constant political life over the past three years had finally granted Zuko the ability to more easily detect the tone of voice of other people and judge it accurately. He heard no resentment in Azula's voice at the mention of his title. It had taken him some time to no longer resent going to see her, he would have avoided it or outright refused if their mother hadn't begged him. At first he only went when Ursa was present too, which he was thankful for, otherwise the arguments he had with his sister could have escalated into something truly ugly. Now he was able to make the trip alone too. The fact that Ursa would tell him stories about his and Azula's childhood he had forgotten did surprisingly, yet certainly help.
Azula took the mochi box out of Zuko's hand, sat down at her side of the table, opened it, inspected it gleefully for a while, then began eating. After munching down a couple, she took out one, looked at her brother more directly and asked:
"You want one?"
The gesture caused a small short circuit in Zuko who answered almost without thinking:
"I'm not trying to poison you."
She chuckled and said:
"If I thought it was poison I wouldn't have eaten enough to kill me, dum-dum. My counselor said it's good manners to offer your food to the person you sit with. I'm just trying to be a good little patient and follow her advice."
Before Zuko responded, he decided to take her offer first, take a bite and only then ask:
"I thought people talked about their past and memories while in therapy?"
"I have more than enough time to think about my past and my mistakes during lockdown. I already know I'm bad, I'm curious about how to be good, hence why I ask such things."
Zuko smiled in response, in a way he hoped would be seen as approving and encouraging. She seemed to appreciate but they remained quiet until they had both finished another mochi.
Then at last Zuko decided to ask something not directly related to either health nor moral rehabilitation. He settled on the first random thing that came to his mind and said:
"How is it going with your girlfriend? You have things to talk about?"
"Talking is the least and last thing we do with our mouths."
"That's... nice... and more detail than I wished to hear."
Mai would probably kill him if he ever talked even remotely similar about their relationship in front of Azula. His sister must have picked up on that fact and was just enjoying this petty advantage, her following words only confirming that:
"Zirin says I can date Han if I ever get curious about how it feels to be together with a man."
It was clear she was trying to get a rise out of him but he couldn't help but respond more impulsively than he liked:
"I'm not legalizing bigamy! Repealing Sozin's laws was already hard enough."
"And I assure you that Zirin has proved to me many times how deeply grateful she is about that..." - Azula then adopted a softer, kinder tone when she added: "I'm too, truly."
Zuko breathed easier and relaxed into his seat. Though a misunderstanding was avoided he didn't know quite how to resume the conversation after that. The silence became awkward, neither sibling quite daring to say something. Zuko looked away from her for a moment but he could swear he saw something quite unexpected at the corner of his vision. Baffled, he asked:
"Did you... just... stick your tongue out at me?!"
Instead of responding in words, she repeated her offense, then snickered like a little girl.
Zuko felt slighted but made himself remember that her mind and mood could be volatile, that she sometimes didn't even quite understand where she was, never mind the severity of her actions. He prevented himself from lashing back in anger. It seemed there was something behind Ty Lee's talk about auras for he couldn't feel any malice radiating from her. Mischievousness yes but nothing more serious. In fact she wasn't serious at all, she just wanted to... play.
Zuko felt a sudden rush of joy at this realization and no consideration of his station could prevent him from saying what he said next:
"You know this cannot stand, right?"
Feeling emboldened by his smirk, Azula replied:
"How do you plan on punishing me?"
Zuko was glad the few guards in the room were sworn to silence, otherwise he might earn a reputation for being crazy.
"I... could... tickle you to death."
He quickly stood up and went to her side of the table. Her "defenses" were pathetic, just there so it could be said she was trying. Zuko remembered that the insides of her elbows, the space behind her ears and the area right under her jaw were he weak spots. Weak they were indeed. Azula laughed uncontrollably, but unlike the uncontrolled laughter stemming from her illness, this one was a joy to hear. Zuko finally gave her reprieve when he started worrying her lungs would collapse. He was now seated right next to her, both cooling down. Once Azula felt she could properly speak again she said:
"You know, I only let you win because I didn't want to lose my chance at parole."
"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."
Zuko looked at his sister, who returned his smile. He got better at returning her sarcastic humor in kind, and she certainly did her best to encourage him to catch up. However, seeing Azula in her prison uniform sadly reminded her brother where they were, not just in space but in life. Their little escape was coming to an end. Somberly, Zuko said:
"We are not little kids anymore."
Azula had also learned over time not to pull Zuko out of his lower moods too violently or dismissively. Yet she still voiced what she really thought:
"I know, but we should be. I wonder if we were ever just kids."
"I'm... not sure actually... we did have lots of fun at times."
"Not often enough, wouldn't you agree?"
Zuko gave her a curious look:
"So, your solution is to simply pretend?"
Azula responded, trepidation visible in her eyes despite trying to hide it:
"Only if you enjoy it too."
Her brother's answer didn't come in words. Instead he put his arm around her and pulled her close. Gratefully, she let her head rest between his neck and shoulder. They stayed like this for a good while, both amazed at how natural and pleasant this almost forgotten feeling felt.
After a while Azula could sense a growing tension in her brother. She hoped what she was about to say would have the desired effect:
"In a way, you're a prisoner too."
"What do you mean?"
"Your office prevents you from doing what you want more often than not, does it? Especially after you introduced this constitution thing. My task here is simply to obey when ordered while you have the burden of giving orders, and bearing their consequences. Your schedule is your master and you can't even visit fami... me, whenever you want."
Was this her way of trying to make him feel less guilty about their wildly different fates, Zuko wondered. Trying to be tactful he said:
"Well, we used to talk about politics not so long ago. What happened to that?"
Azula nuzzled herself deeper against him, let out a small sigh and replied:
"I'm trying to trust you. I've come to like to pretend you can handle it all, that things outside are going well... Besides, it doesn't look prudent for a ruler to take advice from a convict."
"I see... if, there's anything I can do..."
"Don't ruin the moment, just be, that's the best you can do."
Zuko snickered, charmed by her words, asking without malice on his end:
"Are you trying to manipulate me into coming more often?"
"I said don't ruin it Zuzu."
As he leaned back and let the warm, pleasant silence fall between them, Zuko was once again reminded of the painful lesson he learned about rulership: Even if you make the best possible decision, the right decision, doesn't mean you won't regret it. People would tell him that it was an impartial court that condemned her but in his heart it didn't feel like it made any difference.
No matter how many amenities she enjoyed, no matter how helpful the doctors, no matter how many friends she might have or gain, the fact remained that she was still in prison. Perhaps for the rest of her days, a very real possibility he couldn't endure thinking about for too long.
Fury mixed with sorrow when he remembered that the man most responsible for her situation just didn't care, or simply refused to show it. It didn't matter, for their father even dared to mock her for her "weakness". Zuko had for some time genuinely hoped their father Ozai would take his lease on life as a chance to reflect, perhaps even try to change. Instead he only received taunts and insults, having his hopes cruelly crushed. Perhaps he would have abandoned and renounced his sister too had she behaved the same. However, even when she didn't trust him nor their mother, even when she had massive difficulties accepting even the smallest kind word directed at her, it was impossible to say she was untouched. Sometimes it deeply shamed Zuko that he had only truly begun seeing Azula as human, as his family, now that she was caged like a beast.
At last the dreaded moment of separation did come and his aide entered the room, signaling it was time to go. Zuko carefully got up and tried not to waver or look back too much as he departed from his sister. Her last words to him were these:
"Whatever you do, try not to die dum-dum. Not only will people blame me for it, I'll miss you too."
Zuko now knew the true meaning of these and similar words when uttered by her. Today they were too much to bear. He felt the water in his eyes, both of them, even the scarred one that didn't shed tears easily. He clenched his jaws and hoped nobody would notice or see until he got home, find a safe and secluded space and release the rest of them.
One thing was certain though, the dream of them finally being brother and sister was slowly but surely becoming real and the nightmares that had so frequently plagued his sleep before going to see her would at last be no more, never to return.