Work Text:
“Jo wait up,” Charlie called as her wife sprinted up the stairs leading to the museum of Science.
“If I have to go to this stupid museum instead of doing my workout routine then I am sure as hell going to make the best of it.”
Charlie just rolled her eyes. “Can you not take a break to hang out with your loving wife?”
“You can’t take a break from hacking to workout with your badass wife?” she shot back from the top of the steps. But she waited for Charlie to catch up, running in place.
Charlie reached the top, and grabbed onto Jo, panting. “Why do they have so many freaking steps in this place? This is for learning not losing weight.”
“It is for multi taskers like me hon.” Jo replied sarcastically. Leading in she gave her wife a brief kiss before taking off, “Race you to the ticket booth sweet ass.” She yelled
Charlie sighed and looked up at the statue of a globe like it was a god. ‘Please give me the strength to deal with this girl.’ Then she walked over to the ticket booth were Jo was waiting for her.
Jo winked at the ticket girl behind the booth “Hello Beautiful,” she said still running in place “Me and my wife need tickets into this place.”
The eighty four year old lady looked flustered but printed the thickets anyway. After forking over a stolen credit card, Jo threw her an innocent grin. “Keep the change babe.” And walked off without the card. It was pretty much done, they had used it so much they couldn’t really use it any more. The old lady looked like she was about to have a heart attack. Jo did high knees to the door and opened it. “After you M’lady,” she said with a flourish.
Charlie walked through the door, “I want to go get a thing to listen about the exhibits, wait for me?”
Jo just rolled her eyes and started to do pushups in place waiting for Charlie to be back. People walking by started to give her odd looks, especially a really buff guy who was giving her a scornful look, and so to spite them she picked up an arm and put it behind her back.
Charlie walks up with headphone is her ears. “Really hot babe, if you are adamant about working out you can always walk around on your hands.”
Jo smiles, knowing she was being sarcastic, but flipped her feet into the air anyway. “Okay Babe.” She said to a mortified Charlie. “Let’s go” and stalked off toward the butterfly exhibit.
When they entered the humid glass room Jo instantly lite up, the trouble she could get in here. Charlie was already walking around listening to her audio tape and marveling at nature, Jo on the other hand was contemplating how many times she would have to run up and down the dirt path to make a mile. Just when she calculated that it would take 7, Charlie said “Babe look.” Jo turned to see a butterfly had landed on her nose. Jo just smiled when this duchebag flicks it off her nose.
“Ex-Fucking-cuse me!” Charlie shouted. Jo ran to Charlie’s aid and decked the guy in the face. She had been smiling because she knew this dickwad was about to face to wrath of her wife, but when he got up in her face she decided enough was enough. “If you don’t get the fuck away from my wife, I will castrate you and any sons you may have. Obviously your genes should not be passed on to this world.” Jo spat on him for good measure.
“Aw shit, lesbian germs.” The guy said wiping his face.
“Actually I’m fucking Bisexual you arrogant twat.” She said. Security ran up and grabbed Jo by the arms, hauling her out of the place.
“That’s right bitch, we don’t want your kind here.” He yelled as Charlie skipped after them into the security office.
It didn’t take her long to hack into the security cameras and locate which car was the asshole’s once the security guard had left to go call the police. Once she had this vital piece of information she and Jo peeked around the corner and slipped into the busy entrance hall, mingling in with the crowd.
Charlie led the way to the man’s car and Jo pulled last night’s hotel match book out and they got to work. In a record 5 minutes later the car was in flames. Usually they were faster, but this was a record because they don’t usually siphon the gas out of the car and spray it all over the seats. For good measure Jo walked to the doggie doo doo disposal bin and threw some of that into the mix too.
The two women walk away from the parking lot hand in hand with the song Bad Girls by MIA in the background.