Chapter Text
Taehyung has a problem.
It’s a small problem, all things considered, but the kind of niggling, pestering problem that keeps creeping up and breathing down his neck, waiting to be addressed.
It was a white lie, when he told it. Maybe more of a self-defensive lie, one that he probably didn’t think through the consequences of. If he had, he thinks he wouldn’t have said anything at all.
Months of being hassled by his fellow teammates, listening to them tease that for all of his skill on the pitch, and his pretty boy looks he should have a cute little thing waiting in the stands for him after practice, shouldn’t he? Taehyung got fed up, it was as simple as that. The teasing was in good spirit, of course, he loves his team. He didn’t want to tell them that their comments start to prickle at his skin with a sort of halfhearted humiliation. So he didn’t rationally ask them to knock it off. No.
Taehyung stood up and announced with his full chest that of course he has someone to go home to at the end of the day.
He can’t believe he just said it. It would have been so much easier to stay quiet, but now he’s dug himself into this hole and he has to find a way to climb out. He debated coming clean, but that would be more humiliating than telling them to stop in the first place. He thought maybe he could say it was a joke, but they’ll probably see right through him, so Taehyung settled on the most rational, logical, not-at-all-insane course of action he could think of: commit to the lie.
He has a plan, of course. Taehyung is never one to half-ass anything, he decided to play the part so he’ll play the fucking part.
He has the website pulled up on his laptop, a community based forum where you can post anonymous requests for just about anything and set your general location to receive replies from locals. Taehyung’s request is…unique, without a doubt, but not the strangest thing he’s seen on the site. At least he’s not looking for sex or illegal substances, which can’t be said for everyone on here.
He words his post as reasonably as he can. He specifies that as a broke college junior, he can’t pay but is willing to return the favor in a sort of mutually beneficial faux relationship for a couple months. He adds a little smiley face at the end and makes a note at the bottom for interested parties to direct message him.
And that’s that, isn’t it? All he can do now is wait.
The first day, he doesn’t get a single reply, despite the fact that he’s surreptitiously pulling out his phone to check his inbox every few minutes. During practice, Namjoon makes an offhand comment about meeting Taehyung’s elusive beau, which he gracefully pretends he didn’t hear.
The second day, he wakes up to two messages. One of them is a spam bot and the other one looks promising enough. He spends his morning classes texting them until they abruptly reveal they’re actually a forty-five year old man and asks Taehyung if they could meet up for sex first before any other negotiations.
Yeah, skipping right past that option. Taehyung isn’t showing up to practice with some guy old enough to be his dad. Besides, this is a professional relationship, he can’t be dealing with someone who wants to get in his pants all the time.
On the third day, Taehyung can hardly say he’s filled with hope. He showers and eats breakfast before logging in to find a single message waiting for him.
1:37am
bewaredoublebunny: hii, i saw your recent post. have you found anyone yet? if not, i’d like to put my name in for consideration haha. i'm 20, i live and work in seoul, not a college student but close to campus so i can get to you easily. let me know if you have any questions or anything, or if you’re not looking for someone anymore. Thanks :)
As Taehyung skims over the text, he feels his shoulders relax. Twenty, that’s exactly the kind of reasonable age he was looking for. A year younger than him, it would be perfectly believable (more believable than fucking forty-five ) And when he thinks about it, someone who isn’t a fellow student will be an easier lie - way less of a chance of it being someone he or his team knows. This could actually work, if he plays his cards right.
8:23
vantegoodboy: hi! I haven’t found anyone yet, so I’m glad you reached out. Uhh, not too many questions for you that I can think of. I play soccer at university and major in art history. Tell me about what you do! And also why my proposition interests you, that’s probably kind of important haha
Taehyung reads over his text a few times to check the quality. He’s running out of time to make this whole thing believable in a reasonable timeframe, he wants to make a good impression because he wants this to work. He hits send with bated breath and stows his phone away to head to his first class of the day.
“Hey, Taehyung-ah! Wait up!”
Taehyung turns around, glancing over his shoulder to see Seokjin jogging towards him.
Shit, he was hoping to slip out after practice before anyone had a chance to apprehend him and question him about, erm, recent statements. He stops in the middle of the pitch, squinting against the setting sun in his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Why are you running away after practice all the time nowadays?” Jin asks, slowing his jog to a halt and wiping his sweaty brow on his jersey. “You don’t have time for your friends anymore or what?”
“I’ve just been busy, hyung,” Taehyung shrugs. It’s not a full lie, homework has been creeping up on him since the semester started and he’s starting to fall behind more than he’d like to admit. “Trying to hit the books more often.”
“Oh is that what you’re hitting?” Seokjin raises an eyebrow suggestively. When Taehyung doesn’t react, he slumps his shoulders and throws an arm around him. “Come onnn, Taehyung, tell me who you’re seeing, I won’t tell anyone, I promise!”
“Aish, hyung,” Taehyung shrugs away from his embrace. “You guys are so invested in my love life, if you have a crush on me, just say that.”
“Be real, Kim Taehyung, I pull people so much hotter than you, you couldn’t even imagine…”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you do,” Taehyung flaps his hand sarcastically. “ You never bring anyone to practice to meet the team, where’s the love of your life waiting in the bleachers, Seokjin-hyung?”
“Oh I’m more of a no strings attached guy,” Jin shrugs, unbothered. “But the point is you all know I get laid- Namjoon definitely knows I get laid, he probably wishes I get laid less, but then again it’s not like him and his little tsundere boyfriend are quiet either, so that’s karma I guess.”
“Oh yeah, I kinda forgot hyung was seeing someone - what’s his name again?”
“Yoooongii,” Seokjin mock-swoons, clasping his hands together. “He plays guitar and piano and his hair smells good and he’s so nice- christ, Joon never shuts up about him when I go home. It’s almost enough to have me looking for new a roommate. See, I’d ask you if you want to pool our resources and find a nice little apartment together but apparently you and your clandestine lover are just as preoccupied with each other.”
“Yup,” Taehyung agrees, deadpan. “Besides, I like the student housing. It’s cheaper and I have my own bathroom.”
“Cheaper cause you’re on scholarship you pretentious bastard.” Seokjin sighs heavily, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, keep your sweet lover in the dark then. Find me whenever you’re ready to share the details.”
“Yeah, hyung,” Taehyung snorts. “Sure.”
He watches Seokjin turn and jog off in the other direction, waits till he’s a good distance away before he pulls out his phone sneakily.
Please let there be another message, please let there be another message.
In a perfect stroke of luck, Taehyung finds a follow-up response from this morning’s candidate and opens it eagerly.
4:13pm
bewaredoublebunny: i’m in a band - a local band, nothing crazy. i sing, i can play the drums, i write a lot of music. i used to play soccer actually haha, old passion. the reason i reached out is kind of …humiliating? Usually you couldnt pay me to admit this but i guess it’s better to to be candid since we're both here for something lmao. My band and i got this three month contract playing weekends at this indie music club, i wrote this album that’s kind of about being really fucking in love but the person it’s about isn’t in my life anymore so there’s gonna be no one in the front row cheering for me with all the groupies like I pictured. but you know, more importantly my mom is asking to meet the lucky guy. (i’m kidding you don’t have to meet my mom that’s kind of pushing the limits) but seriously if you went to some of my gigs and i went to a few of your games we could just…cheer for each other? idk, i’m not picky, let me know what you think :)
Taehyung smiles, slinging his bag over his shoulder and jogging towards his dorm while he types his reply.
7:17pm
vantegoodboy: Listen, this whole thing is humiliating so we’re in the same boat. And that sounds perfect. I’d love to meet up and talk, if you’re willing? We can pick somewhere public, obviously no meeting strangers in dark corners. Maybe a coffee shop? I’m free this weekend.
He doesn’t expect a reply till later, but to his pleasant surprise, there’s a third message waiting on his phone by the time he unlocks the door to his campus apartment and tosses his things on the couch.
7:21pm
bewaredoublebunny: a meetup sounds great :) there’s a coffee place by the university called Seoul Bean, meet there tomorrow morning at 10?
7:22pm
vantegoodboy: perfect, I’ll see you then!
Taehyung clicks his phone off and actually physically claps his hands together in the empty silence of his apartment. This could totally fucking work and it wasn’t even hard. He’s a genius and whoever this guy is, he’s a saving grace. Or they’ll be each other’s saving graces or something like that. Either way, it’s working.
Looks like Seokjin-hyung will be meeting his clandestine lover sooner rather than later.
Taehyung doesn’t necessarily wake up early (they’re meeting at ten, he has plenty of time) but he undeniably puts more effort into getting ready than he normally would. It’s not a date, but some part of it feels like a date. Like a friend date, maybe? He doesn’t need user bewaredoublebunny to fall in love with him, but they should get along at least, and part of getting along being agreeable and pleasant, and a nice outfit goes a long way.
He picks a nice pair of green corduroy pants that make his ass look good and pairs it with a plain t-shirt and his trusty brown jacket, somewhere between a blazer and a peacoat. He fiddles with the accessories, adding a necklace and a bracelet, deciding that’s too much, removing the necklace, realizing he likes the necklace, and getting rid of the bracelets instead. Scarf? No scarf? It makes the outfit look bulky, he’ll go with a knit cap instead, in the same green shade as his pants.
Taehyung gives himself a final once over in the mirror and a double thumbs up of approval before he grabs his phone and heads out the door.
It’s only 9:30 when he gets to Seoul Bean, but that gives him plenty of time to stake out a good table (private so they can talk without being in the center of the room, but not so private that it feels too secluded) He picks a booth in the back corner, closer to the counters. The baristas, he assumes, will be too busy slinging coffees to eavesdrop on them. When he settles in with his hot chocolate (he might be 21 years old, but he still orders hot chocolate. Coffee is gross, anyone who says differently is lying) he pulls out his phone and logs in to shoot a quick message.
9:37am
vantegoodboy: I’m towards the back, with the brown jacket and the green hat btw
9:37am
vantegoodboy: At the booth underneath the painting of the weird guy in the boat with the coffee beans. Hope that helps haha
Taehyung bounces his leg up and down. He’s not a generally anxious person, but he can’t help but feel like this is some sort of audition that he needs to pass with flying colors. It’s been four days since since he accidentally-on-purpose lied to his whole team, if this meet-up today doesn’t go well, he doesn’t know if he reasonably has time to start over. He might just have to rip the bandaid off and come clean and Taehyng would really, really like to avoid that.
He downs his hot chocolate in a matter of minutes and doubles back to the counter to order another, just so he has something to do. He shouldn’t have gotten here so early, he’s going to have to drink four hot chocolates at this rate.
The bell over the doorway jingles cheerily and a well-bundled figure steps in out the cold. Taehyung doesn’t know what makes him glance over, and then immediately do a double take and look again, but he does it anyway. The person pulls their blue scarf down below their chin, and in one moment, Taehyung’s heart leaps from his chest to his throat.
He drops his head down, hiding behind the mug of cocoa in front of him as much as possible. Of course on the one day that Taehyung hopes he won’t see a single soul he knows, the one person that he’s successfully avoided since highschool is here. Christ, Seoul is enormous, he couldn't have ended up at any other coffee shop besides this one?
Taehyung watches surreptitiously from the corner of his eye as the unwelcome guest stands on his tiptoes and looks around the room, curiously searching. He’s looking for someone, clearly.
Maybe if Taehyung ducks and takes cover in the bathroom he can text the guy from the forum and ask if they can last minute agree to meet literally anywhere else. It’s still ten minutes till 10:00, it’s not too late to ask, right?
His phone buzzes almost as if on cue, and he peeks at the message hurriedly.
9:51am
bewaredoublebunny: just got here! are you hiding out in the back somewhere?
Taehyung glances up. His personal problem in the blue scarf has his phone out, tapping away quickly. The chat bubble on his own phone is still bobbing cheerfully, indicating that whoever is on the other end is still typing, and a realization dawns on Taehyung like a slow storm cloud descending over a city.
9:52am
bewaredoublebunny: nvm i see you - green hat
Please don’t walk to my table, please don’t walk to my table, Taehyung repeats the sentiment in his head, heavy with dread as that blue scarf floats through the crowd towards him. There’s no time to make a run for it, he can surely see Taehyung by now. There’s nothing he can do except sit here and face the music of the fact that he accidentally set up a blind fake date under the most humiliating circumstances with his highschool nemesis.
“Kim Taehyung.”
Taehyung’s head is still bent over his no-longer-hot cocoa, he can’t see much more than the many busy feet of the room, but there’s no mistaking that voice. Deeper than it was three years ago and laced with surprise, but just as recognizable.
Taehyung lifts his face, all too aware of the fact that he’s wincing against the utter embarrassment of the situation and smiles halfheartedly.
“Hi, Jeongguk.”
The silence that stretches between them feels indefinite and uncomfortable as they both stare each other down in surprise for a drawn out moment.
“I-I mostly go by JK now,” Jeongguk stammers, adjusting his glasses nervously. He never used to wear his glasses, even though god knows he needed them. Never used to grow his hair out either, but it’s down to his shoulders now, all dark and wavy.
“Right,” Taehyung nods. “JK. Sorry.”
There’s a total standstill between them, both painfully aware of the reason they’re there, and neither wanting to address it for what it is. At a base level, the meet-up was already a cause for embarrassment, now that’s only increased by ten-fold.
It’s not like Taehyung despises the sight of him. Their rivalry was juvenile, never escalating beyond petty arguments and antagonistic bickering. Taehyung had captained their highschool soccer team, and Jeongguk had been the thorn in his shoe that never budged, there was never anything more to it.
It was nothing. It ended when Taehyung went to college, he doesn’t think about it anymore. Can’t think about it anymore than he already has, or he’ll start spiraling.
“I can leave,” Taehyung announces abruptly, breaking the silence. “I can- we can just pretend this didn’t happen and go our separate ways, it’s not a big deal. I won’t tell anyone, and-“
“No, hyung, it’s really not, um…” Jeongguk trails off, scratching his hair awkwardly. “Can I sit down?”
Taehyung nods. He can’t imagine what Jeongguk has to say to him now, after all this time, but he’s not about to get up and leave.
“I just, since you‘re here, you know, I wanted to say I guess I hope that you’re not mad about…like, we were kids, you know? There are no hard feelings, right?”
“Right.” Taehyung swallows over the lump in his throat. God, he wants to be the bigger person about this so bad. Of course Jeongguk would be the one to sit down and clear the air for them both, he always was the golden boy, wasn’t he?
“Look, this situation is improbable and ridiculous,” Jeongguk folds his hands together and leans back in his chair. “But at least I know you’re not a serial killer or some sort of pervert, which is always the main concern when you make plans with someone online.”
“Yeah, uh, highschool wasn’t great for us but I never did try to murder you,” Taehyung concedes with a shrug. “Came pretty close a few times, but never made a real attempt.”
“Yeah, thanks for that,” Jeongguk runs his hands through his hair, shaking it out a little and letting his eyes roam the room. The silence is thick, filling the air even more than the bustle of chatting and clinking of cups around them. It feels like they’re the only two people in the room.
Jeongguk sighs suddenly. “Is it bad to say I’m not completely against the idea?”
Taehyung’s mouth drops open. There is no fucking way Jeon Jeongguk is suggesting they don’t call this ideal off here and now.
Jeongguk seems to read his hesitation and pushes on. “I mean, we might historically not get along great, but we can both agree to let bygones be bygones, realize this is mutually beneficial and be adults about it, right?”
“Jeongguk…I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Taehyung loops his fingers around the handle of the cocoa mug and squeezes. Actually, he’s positive it’s a bad idea. Fake dating was already a bad idea, but fake dating Jeongguk has got to be exponentially worse.
It looks perfect on paper. Highschool peers meeting once again and falling in love. They could sell that story to anyone with ease, the problem isn’t believability, the problem is that Taehyung doesn’t know if he can put himself through that and come out in one piece. “Maybe I’m living in the past, but I don’t think that giving each other the blackmail material of the century is the right move, all things considered.”
Jeongguk scrunches up his nose, making a face. “If we both have the power to blackmail the other, doesn’t that cancel out?”
“You’re saying you want to go into this as a blackmail pact ?” Taehyung asks, incredulous.
“No! No, I’m saying-“ Jeongguk breaks off, and his shoulders droop a little in defeat. “It’s a bad idea, I know. I’m just desperate.”
Desperate. Taehyung knows desperate. He doesn’t want to walk to his teammates, head hung in shame, and admit that he’s a liar. But desperate enough to agree to this? His brain is telling him no, but his gut is telling him…what is his gut telling him? That it’s all a game? That should be a bad way to think about it, and yet…
Taehyung and Jeongguk might not have been able to agree for shit off the field, but as players they almost always led their team to victory. What is fake dating if not just an elaborate game where they’re both running towards a common goal? if Taehyung can frame it correctly in his mind, they could-
“I’m sorry.” Jeongguk speaks suddenly, shattering Taehyung’s train of thought as he gets to his feet. “It’s a stupid idea, you don’t have to consider it. I hope you find someone soon, hyung. It was good to see you.”
“Jeongguk, wait.” Taehyung grabs his sleeve, speaking before his better judgment can catch up. “We were good fucking teammates, Jeongguk, weren’t we?”
“I guess,” Jeongguk replies warily, looking puzzled.
Fuck it. It’s only for a couple of months. A person can stomach anything for a couple of months, can’t they? This arrangement might push a problem or two onto Taehyung’s plate, but it’ll solve his most pressing concern and, well, that was the whole point in the first place. He looks up at Jeongguk, cocking his head to the side.
“Do you wanna play one more game with me?”