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Hank was reading on his tablet when he heard Connor giggling to himself maniacally from the sofa across the room. He sensed danger.
Hank sighed, pressing a hand to his head. "Connor, what are you doing." he said flatly.
Connor froze and turned to face him. "...Nothing?"
"I know that's not true."
Connor's LED flashed, before he visibly relaxed and said, "Nines says I don't have to answer that."
Another sigh: "Of course he did."
Hank should have expected this. He really should've, but he didn't, and now he was paying for it.
Connor was stood in the middle of the break room, unmoving, with his eyes closed. This was odd enough on its own, but the way his LED flickered before he suddenly started moving again was more than a little suspect.
Hank glanced around from his position by the wall, trying to figure out what Connor was planning. That's when he saw Nines, in the middle of innocently turning his back to the break room's windows as if he had no idea anything was wrong.
Why were his two adult android kids somehow more irresponsible than his 6 year old human son? Honestly, Kamski should get more credit simply for being able to create these agents of chaos.
Hank was only vaguely aware of Gavin's presence next to him. The guy had a radar for drama.
A uniformed officer came in, clearly on a direct path to the coffee machine before Connor stepped in his way.
"Hello, Officer Brandon!" Connor smiled pleasantly, "What brings you to the break room today?"
Brandon paused, suddenly unsure despite himself: "Making… coffee? Is that okay-?"
"-Certainly! However," the android's expression grew frosty. Hank almost had chills. "this machine is out of order, perhaps you might like to go to the cafe down the street?" His story would be much more convincing if the machine in question didn't still have some steam coming out of the top, obviously having just been brewed.
Connor didn't stop there, either. As soon as Brandon began to point out this noticeable misunderstanding, Connor was smiling and he said, "It seems you are confused. Allow me to clarify-" he pointed at the machine: "You humans tend to attach feelings of empathy to inanimate objects, yes? Well, us androids can communicate with other machinery, and it has been made clear to me that Billy here," he patted the plastic top, "prefers not to be used to brew coffee. He is my friend. Would you like to violate my friend's wishes?"
Hank knew he was speaking bullshit because he had watched Connor take apart the old microwave last weekend with zero emotional connection. But Brandon apparently didn't, as he stuttered over his words for a few moments before quickly backing out of the room with a lost and panicked expression.
Connor held composure for only a few seconds, before he motioned Nines inside the room. The twins linked arms for only a second before they were giggling over the situation (well, Nines was only smirking a little, but that was just as over the top as it could get for Nines in Hank's opinion).
The pair high-fived each other before they each straightened up and walked back to their desks. They almost looked professional.
Hank was once again left standing at the side of the room with a long-suffering expression.
Gavin leaned over with a cocky grin just to add to the pyre. "Anderson, I don't know why but your pain gives me a special kind of joy." He nodded towards Nines back, "But I think I like that guy… huh." Gavin shrugged and wandered back out to the bullpen.