Chapter Text
He walked- tried.. To walk through the snow, dragging his ruined boots along with him.. It made pretty marks in the snow, whatever you think is pretty, anyways. Blood dripped and dripped, almost endlessly, it stained the snow a nice red. Maybe that's why his favourite colour is as such? He knows that red has always been his favourite, but it suddenly got much more appealing.
Eventually he stopped moving and fell face first, he couldn't take it anymore. Trudging through the snow was extremely tiring, he was just glad he got out of that place … Maybe eventually he would die of hypothermia. The cold forests of Snezhnaya aren't in the least bit forgiving, it's better than dying in that place … He doesn't want to talk about that anymore, it's past him.
Right?
He can't doze off, he can't. Something in him starts, not now… He feels a surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins. All he wants is to rest, but he gets up anyway and continues trudging through the snow.
Are those lights in the distance? He can't even tell anymore. He doesn't know how long he has been in the snow. He doesn't know where he is. Is he even in Morespok? What if he is in some random place he doesn't know anything about? What if-
"HEY!! ARE YOU OKAY!!?"
Something- Some one cries out in the distance, are they talking to him? If so, no. Not at all. He feels terrible, he absolutely couldn't be okay, he just got out of one of the most traumatising experiences in his life. Ah- no.. Correction; THE most traumatising experience in his life. How could he be okay? Aha, he wishes he could be okay-
"OH MY TSARITSA!!! AJAX!?"
Aj..Ajax? Ajax, yes, Ajax, that's his name isn't it? He almost forgot about it, his master from that place never used the name he gave her. She always called her 'boy'.
Something touched him, he immediately tensed up and tried to take an offensive stance- he couldn't, he couldn't take that stance, why? Why? WHY?? What is this, what? What's happening, what- why- Wh- He felt arms around him, was this an enemy? Tying him up to make him unable to attack?
The arms left him.
" Ajax ? Ajax'' A hand waved in front of his face "Hmm… Your zoning out has gotten worse.. What happened to you baby?"
His eyes focused on the face now directly in front of him, it felt familiar somehow, like he has seen this before, but he can't piece it together… Something.. Someone? A person. This was another person! He has found his rescue- someone found him!! He can finally- finally rest-
"Come, let's go home, you must be freezing, baby!" the person abruptly stood up, frightening Ajax. They- He.. She? A girl.. No, they were taller than him, and their features were much more loose… As if older? Not a girl, but a woman… A familiar woman? Hmm… He remembers a few things before he ended up in that place . He has a family, a mother, a father.. Younger siblings… Two of them! And two older siblings. He remembers his younger siblings the most, he loves them with all his heart!
Does he even have one anymore?
A little girl, barely four years old… Princess, he calls her. Princess, that's her name right? No, how unusual, for a mother to name her baby girl princess . A little boy, recently(?) turned one… How recently? What day is it, how long has it been since he stepped foot in that place .
"Ajax?? Baby, don't worry your mama like this! What happened…" mama, his mother. She must have noticed the blood in his hair as her eyes widened in shock. "Blood!? Are you okay!?" He is fine, it isn't his so it's alright. What should he do? What should he say? He decides not to do anything, just to follow his mother, to where? Time will tell.
His mother had a worried face on her, she reached out her hand but he didn't take it. Which made her worry deepen. He doesn't want to worry her, but he doesn't want to hold her hand either… He remembers being fine with it before, he would even hug? Hug his family sometimes.
Eventually they set off to nowhere with a moderate pace, far too slow for the adrenaline, but it will have to do. Any faster and he would collapse.
His mother tried to start up a conversation during the walk, he was listening but his mind was elsewhere. He has a bad habit of getting distracted easily. His doctor says he is fine, but he doesn't think so. Actually.. The doctor never told him anything. His parents did..
Pieces of his memory slowly come back together… In school, he had a library. Full of books! One day, he was curious, he looked through many books, trying to find the right one… He landed up on a book about mental disorders, how did he get here? Sometimes he thinks back and wonders, why did a school library have such a book anyway?
He flips through the pages of the book, short attention spans.. Zoning out… Random bursts of energy- That's what he was looking for… He couldn't finish the book, but every day after school, he would spend a good 30 minutes there, reading… Well, 10 minutes reading and 20 minutes staring off into oblivion. There were many things that sort of explained him. Very close, but not quite there yet.
But eventually.. Something had to come…
Finally he found something! He found something that explained him, it explained why he was unlike other kids. A-D-H-D. He spells out. Hm.. It was a whole chapter of the book. So he buckled down and sped through the pages (which wasn't easy) when he finally saw a list of symptoms… 'The main symptoms of Attention deficit hyperactivity disor-'
Oh, his time in the library is up.. But he wants to find out if this was the reason, for everything. For his difference… Thinking it over for a second, he decided to put on his big-boy pants and borrow the damn book. He had refrained from doing so beforehand because… A 12 year old? Carrying a book about mental disorders around? Aha- That would make him even more out of place than he already is.
But, but, he couldn't wait! So he approached the librarian, shy and nervous. "Can I borrow this book-"... he forgot something. "Please?"
The librarian only smiled and took the book from his hands, then froze upon seeing the cover… Ah… What did the librarian think of him now? Weird? Crazy? But they didn't say anything, they just continued to scan the book for him.
"Thank you…" he started walking away when the librarian caught his attention
"Ah- Sorry, but.. Why would you need a book about.. Uh- Disorders?" Of course, he shouldn't be surprised. One would be curious if they saw a 12 year old pick up a dusty book about a very concerning topic.
"Uh…"
"I'm sorry- I uh, was just curious… Would you like a bookmark?" the librarian awkwardly handed him a flimsy paper bookmark.. At least he didn't need to search for the page he needed anymore.
At home, he would open the book up and look through its contents. Right back where he left off. 'Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder'. He looked through the list.
Constant Fidgeting… Check.
Sometimes he would randomly twiddle his thumbs and tap his foot on the ground while sitting.
Short Attention Spans… Check.
This was quite major, he couldn't focus on anything for longer than 15 minutes.
Impulsive Decisions… Check..?
Sometimes he acts before thinking, making irrational decisions…
He kept going through the list, everything clicked. Most of the symptoms… he had! He figured out what was wrong with him! He got up and jumped on his bed, attracting the attention of his mother. His mother…
His mother was calling out to him "Ajax!!" He snapped out of the memory and looked at her, a little confused.
"Ajax, why in the world has your attention span reduced even more!? It was already quite bad to begin with, what happened to you..???" she half scolded-half exclaimed in confusion.
It hasn't reduced, in all honesty, it improved. But listening to her talk was so boring -
"Sorry" he sheepishly responded. It seemed to anger her.
"Sorry!? Boy, you have been missing for 3 days, and you don't look in the least bit happy to see your mama? Then I find out that your disorder has gotten worse. I ask what happened, and all I get is a sorry!?" she stopped and yelled at him.
He covered his ears with his hands, tightly gripping his hair along with it. He hated it whenever his parents yelled at him, they never seemed to get the message. To shut up and calm down. He stayed like that for a few minutes… Standing… Letting her yell at him… Wait- 3 days? Hah- Aha- 3. 3 Days?
No way in Celestia has he spent only 3 Days in that god-forsaken hellhole. He might miss details every now and then but he isn't stupid . 3 Days, definitely not 3 days . No, it had to be more than that! It felt like years. But, things can feel longer than they actually are sometimes. He couldn't tell time down there but it was SO not 3 DAYS. 3 Months would be much more believable.
He heard his mother sigh disapprovingly.
"Ugh… Come let's just go home, you look like you're starving." she walked ahead, this time, she didn't hold out her hand.
It's times like this where he feels… Left out. He suddenly feels guilty, he made his mother annoyed and put her into a bad mood. She had basically saved him from the forest and he couldn't be grateful. Truthfully, he didn't know how to thank her.
He felt just like this when he ran up to his mother and told him about the discovery of his ADHD.
'Mama! I found out what's wrong with me!'
'Silly boy, don't say it like that! Nothing is wrong with you.'
'But there is mama, I found a book in school.. And it said things about mental disorders.'
His mama paused but he continued; 'And I found one that is like me! It is A-D-H-D'
He was proud, for finding this out by himself. 'Baby… No… No, you can't go self-diagnosing yourself. The doctor said you were fine, remember?'
'But- But my symptoms match-'
'No!! The adults here are right, you don't have a disorder. My baby would never have a disorder'
He knew she was lying, she was so clearly lying.
From that day on, his mother was a little more distant, when asked why by his father, she told him about the recent discovery he had made. Which caused his father to act distant as well.
Ever since then, it was like he was the odd one out. This time not just with other kids, but with his own family too.
At least his older brother sometimes spent time with him… He looked up to his older brother, especially when he turned 13 and got a book about Ajax, the great adventurer! That's why he was named Ajax, his father had loved the stories about the great adventurer, so why not name his own son after him?
But this book sparked his activity. He already had random bursts of energy, but now he had random bursts of energy with something to do in mind. Dangerous. Then he turned 14.. And got another random burst of energy… Off to the woods he went! Running through, having the image of him coming back with some sort of meat to impress his family… Ah- A second later he was falling.. Falling…
Then he hit (a) ground.
He hit (a) ground quite hard, it hurt, and he was crying. Moments later, something flashed in his vision… A monster, his first encounter with a monster- How was he supposed to deal with it? How was he supposed to get back home? He didn't know where he was, he didn't have any supplies… What- What will happen to him…?