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Evemer frowned a little and was about to leave, when he heard a sound from behind the closed bedroom door, a sound that was very much like a strangled sob. He hesitated for a moment before gently knocking on the door.
“Your Highness? Are you alright?”
He could hear a faint rustle, then a pause before Kadou finally responded.
“I’m… fine.” From the quivering in his voice, it was clear to Evemer that Kadou was not fine.
“Highness, may I enter?” Evemer’s question was met with another pause, longer this time.
“I… Yes… Enter,” Kadou replied, and Evemer opened the door to find His Highness sitting in darkness, huddled up by the headboard of his bed, arms wrapped around his knees. Was he shaking? It was hard to tell in the dim light, but as he approached the bed, Evemer could see that not only was Kadou shaking, he was rocking back and forth.
“Highness…” Evemer was surprised at how hard seeing Kadou like this hit him and had to take a steadying breath to centre himself. Touch. Warm touch. He swallowed hard, closed the distance between himself and the bed, and slowly sat down by the headboard.
“My lord,” he said softly, leaning over to Kadou, trying to remember what sort of things Tadek had said and done last night. “My lord,” Evemer repeated, and put his left hand on top of Kadou’s right one. “It’s just me, my lord,” he continued, “I’ve got you. You don’t need to do this alone.”
A sharp intake of air was Kadou’s only response, and Evemer fought down the voice at the back of his head that was scolding him for having the audacity to sit on His Highness’s bed, with boots on, no less. He compromised by kicking the boots off, and then scooted closer to Kadou until he was sat right next to him. Evemer put his arm around him, like he had done earlier that night outside the incense parlour, and pulled him close. Kadou’s breath hitched, and Evemer let his thumb rub awkwards circles on his shoulder. The rocking slowly ceased.
“I’m right here, my lord,” Evemer said, and was rewarded with the sound of Kadou taking a shaky breath.
“That’s it, my lord, breathe.” Kadou took another breath.
“Good,” Evemer said, “you’re doing well,” he praised, and then felt a flutter in his stomach as Kadou’s fingers reached out to grab his hand. The memory of those fingers in his hair shot to the forefront of Evemer’s mind, but he promptly shoved it aside. His Highness was in a state, he shouldn’t be thinking of that! Or of His Highness’s mouth… No. Focus!
“It’s alright, my lord. I’m right here. Can you take another breath for me, my lord?” Kadou obliged him again, fingers gripping Evemer’s hand tightly.
“That’s good, my lord,” Evemer praised again, and Kadou took another breath, this one, slightly less shaky, then another, and another, until finally his breath was somewhat close to steady.
It felt like an eternity. An eternity in the dark, clutching Evemer’s hand like a lifeline that slowly pulled him out of a black sea filled with treacherous currents. He had felt like he was drowning and he couldn’t quite remember how Evemer had ended up on this bed, arm wrapped around his shoulders, but he was too grateful for his kahya’s presence to care.
“Thank you,” Kadou whispered as the tightness in his chest began to subside.
“Are you feeling better, my lord?” Evemer’s voice was quiet, no, comforting , so comforting that it made Kadou sigh.
“Yes,” he muttered, in spite of feeling like he had been trampled by a stampede. The physical exhaustion the fear monster sometimes left behind after it had ravaged his mind just meant the worst part was over.
“Much better,” he assured and released the hand he had been clutching, only to feel the arm it was connected to withdraw from his shoulders as Evemer slowly moved away and stood up from the bed. He instantly regretted letting go.
“Would you…” Kadou stopped himself. He was being selfish. Evemer had already done more than enough, helping him through this, and would probably much prefer to sleep in his own bed than stay here just because Kadou couldn’t bear the thought of being alone right now.
“Please go get some rest,” he offered instead, forcing a smile on his face.
“Highness,” Evemer replied, picking up his boots and began to turn, but then he stopped, paused for a moment, and turned back.
“I could… stay.” Kadou wasn’t sure if it was the words or the hesitation with which Evemer had spoken them that surprised him the most.
“I could sleep on the divan if you’d rather not be alone tonight, my lord.”
Warm gratitude washed over Kadou, and nearly drowned out Eozena’s word of warning. But this was different, he reminded himself. This wasn’t Tadek offering to keep his bed warm, this was Evemer being considerate of his well-being and safety. But Evemer’s resolve seemed to falter for each second that went by without Kadou responding, and it looked like he was about to turn around again.
“Yes,” Kadou exclaimed desperately. He collected himself and added, more calmly, “yes, I would very much appreciate that. At least until I manage to fall asleep? I don’t expect you to stay here all night.”
“My lord,” was all Evemer replied, but the sincerity and warmth in his voice made it feel like a thousand reassuring words.
It sounded like a whimper, and Evemer was on his feet, hand on his sword, before he had really quite woken up. It had come from the bedroom, and as he moved silently towards the door he had been instructed to leave slightly ajar, he heard it again. It was definitely a whimper, and Evemer opened the door wider, slowly scanning the room for any intruders. It was still dark, apart from the sliver of moonlight that spilled through the curtained window, but his eyes were quickly adjusted to the dimness, and he concluded that there were no intruders.
Another whimper. Was Kadou having another episode? Evemer swiftly approached the bed, and put one knee at the edge of the mattress, leaning over to inspect the state of His Highness.
“My lor-” His mouth went dry and his face flushed with heat. Kadou was fast asleep on his back, his beautiful hair coming loose from the string keeping it in place, cheeks flushed and lips parted. His right hand was gripping the pillow under his head, his left hand was closed in a fist, his hips grinding against the sheet covering him, which was conspicuously erect at his abdomen.
Evemer froze, and it felt like part of his brain was back again in that alley, His Highness pressed up against him, the smell of his beautiful hair, the warmth radiating from him.
Another sound, a moan, escaped His Highness’s mouth. His Highness’s mouth… Kiss me, now! Visions of His Highness’s fingers tracing their way up his arms, into his hair flooded Evemer’s mind. His Highness’s tongue sliding into his mouth…
Evemer made a small, involuntary sound, and Kadou gasped, as if he had heard him, hips bucking, tearing Evemer’s attention towards the motion. A small, damp spot slowly developed at the peak of the tented sheet. Swearing under his breath, Evemer found his own hips bucking in response. What was he doing ?
Snapping out of his trance-like state, breath shaky, he moved carefully away from the bed, and slowly backed up towards the door. Exiting the bedroom, he spun around and was just about to make his way out of the sitting room, when he remembered that Melek was posted outside. Looking down at his trousers, he realised to his horror that there was absolutely no way he would be able to leave the room without çem noticing, and the last thing he needed right now was gossip about him leaving His Highness’s chambers with a raging boner in the middle of the night.
FUCK!
He went to sit down on the divan, now bathed in the moonlight that illuminated the entire room, a stark contrast to the darkness of His Highness’s bedroom. Evemer moved the kaftan he had used as a disguise earlier and bundled together as a pillow while he slept, then leaned back. He was grateful at least for the fact that the divan was positioned out of direct view from the bedroom, because it was going to take some time for his predicament to pass; His Highness’s moans had become a little louder, and a tad more frequent.
To his despair, Evemer found that closing his eyes only summoned the sight that had met him in the bedroom, which did fuck all to improve the situation. Even thinking about how this made him no better than Tadek didn’t help to calm him down. In fact, it only made it worse, as the very thought of Tadek prompted his brain to paint vivid illustrations of His Highness in bed with his armsman, and anger welled up in Evemer's chest. No, not anger, jealousy. He tried to come up with other things to think of, but his mind treacherously kept returning to the sight in the bedroom, and the kiss in the alley, fuelled by the sounds drifting out from His Highness’s bedroom. It was torturous. But what was he supposed to do? Maybe he could just … No! That would be immensely improper. The image of hips grinding against a strained bedsheet taunted him, and he was mortified to find that his own hips were moving too, grinding against the fabric of his trousers in search of that sweet friction. Another moan came from the bedroom, and Evemer’s resolve finally dissolved.
He undid his trousers, pushed them down just enough for him to grab himself, and the groan that tore its way out of his throat was a tad louder than he expected it to be. He held his breath with dread, eyes squeezed shut as he listened for any sign that he had woken the sleeping beauty in the bedroom, but then he heard a strained gasp, indicating that His Highness was still very much deep in his dream. Evemer relaxed and gave into pleasure.
Evemer’s hand was cupping his face as they kissed, their bodies pressed against each other, but there was no one else in the alley now, the person with the lantern long gone. Lifting him up by the legs, pressing him up against the wall and grinding against him, Evemer made that sound , and Kadou gasped, hips rolling to meet him, to increase the friction. He felt Evemer’s hot breath on his neck, Evemer’s strong hands squeezing the underside of his thighs, groaning as Kadou licked his earlobe. Evemer let him peel off his kaftan, leaving his torso bare, just like it had been in the garden, and Kadou drank in the sight of him, moaning at the press of Evemer’s hardness against his.
They weren’t in the alley anymore. The steam and scents of the bathhouse clung to their skin, and Evemer gently put Kadou down before kneeling in front of him. Kadou looked into those dark eyes of his and felt strong hands undo his trousers. He watched as Evemer leaned forwards and let his tongue trace the length of him, and Kadou desperately grabbed a fistful of his hair to steady himself. He moaned loudly as Evemer took him in his mouth, eyes still fixed on his. He went so slow, torturously slow, teasing as many sounds out of Kadou as he could, and then Evemer groaned loudly, and Kadou opened his eyes, finding himself alone in his own bed.
The door out to the sitting room was wide open, not just ajar, the way it had been when Evemer left the bedroom to sleep on the divan. The sitting room seemed brightly lit in comparison to the darkness of the bedroom, and while the divan was positioned out of direct view from him, he could see it in the mirror on the wall. He could see Evemer. Evemer leaned back on the divan, eyes shut as if in deep concentration and his right hand on… Kadou gasped. And then realised he had gasped, and for a dreadful split second, he thought Evemer was going to open his eyes and spot him in the mirror, because there was no way he hadn’t heard that. Instead, however, Evemer seemed to respond to the sound with… relief? The tension faded from his face, and his right hand started moving.
The dream, Kadou thought, eyes widening as his brain started to put two and two together. Evemer must have heard him! He could feel the heat spread on his face, as humiliation crawled up his spine. But then something else occurred to him. Evemer had heard him gasp, and relaxed. He had heard him gasp and c ontinued. The thought of Evemer hearing him having a wet dream and getting turned on by it sent a delicious shudder through Kadou, and a moan escaped his lips. Followed shortly by another when the first one resulted in Evemer making that sound again .
He knew it was wrong, but Kadou slid his hand under the sheet to take care of his own situation, mesmerised by the fact that each and every sound he made seemed to spur Evemer on.
In his mind, Evemer had conjured up the fantasy that Kadou had woken up when he went to check on him, that he had asked Evemer to kiss him, to touch him, to please him. And Evemer had obeyed, sliding his hand in under the covers, closing his fingers around him, making Kadou moan and thrust up against him. He imagined Kadou pulling down Evemer’s trousers and tugging him closer. Kadou’s hand grabbing hold of him, matching the rhythm of Evemer’s hand, until they were both so, so close.
The sounds from the bedroom indicated that this seemed very much to be the case for the real Kadou as well, and just the thought of hearing him come was enough to push Evemer over the edge. He bit his bottom lip to stifle the growl that was trying to burst from his mouth as he grabbed the bundled up kaftan beside him and spilled into it.
The sight of Evemer tensing up as he came, biting his lower lip and stifling an exquisitely primal sound, made it impossible for Kadou to not immediately follow suit, panting furiously before he finished with a groan, eyes still fixed on his kahya, his perfect kahya…
Fuck … what was he thinking? What was he doing ? Reality started to crash down on him. Evemer would do whatever he asked of him, that much had become clear in the garden. Kadou could not allow himself to abuse that power, especially not for his own pleasure! But Evemer had also just brought himself to completion over Kadou having a wet dream, over the noises Kadou had made… Part of Kadou’s brain attempted to rationalise that it's only human to get affected by the kind of sounds Evemer must have heard from him, but another part of his brain reminded him that this was Evemer , and Evemer would never… unless… unless he desired Kadou… No. That would be presumptuous of him to think. It made his heart flutter… No! Had his mistake with Tadek taught him nothing? Had—
His trail of thought was interrupted by Evemer stirring, having kept very still for the last few moments. It dawned on him that Evemer didn't know Kadou was awake, didn't know he had been watching him, and the mere idea of him finding out mortified him. He rejected the urge to keep his eyes on Evemer, just a little bit longer, and instead closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. It was not difficult, for sleep was summoning him back into its liminal realm again, and he only heard a few rustling noises before he drifted off.
When Evemer finally managed to collect himself, shame hit him like a brick wall. How could he have let himself stoop to this? Him? Evemer Hoşkadem, who took such pride in his professionality, his discipline, his high standards? He looked down at the now soiled kaftan in disgust, and it occurred to him that he could have simply tossed it over his arm and used it to hide his embarrassment from Melek, without even seeming conspicuous. Why had he not thought of that earlier? Had lust truly clouded his mind so thoroughly that his usual resourcefulness failed him so spectacularly? The memory of Kadou writhing with pleasure in his bed returned, and Evemer darkly acknowledged that, yes, it had.
He leaned forwards, gingerly folding up the soiled kaftan, tugged his trousers back on, and slowly got up, taking care not to make any loud noises that could wake up His Highness. He walked over to the mirror to straighten his uniform and- The mirror! He returned to the divan, and discovered, with a hint of panic, that sitting there, looking into the mirror, he could see straight through the open door and into Kadou’s bedroom. Which meant Kadou likely would have been able to see him on the divan. The bedroom was much darker than the sitting room, and it was hard to assess anything going on in there from this angle, so Evemer quietly approached the door, peeking in to see His Highness sleeping on the bed, strands of his hair, his beautiful hair, sticking to flushed, damp skin, breath steady again by now. Sending a small thought of gratitude to Usmim for deciding to not to add a confrontation with His Highness to his trials, Evemer pulled the handle of the door and carefully put it back to the slightly ajar position it had been in when he went to sleep. He stopped in front of the mirror again, making sure he looked presentable, tugging his boots up, hoping that no one would notice how red the tips of his ears still were. Picking up the dirty kaftan, he took a deep breath and decided he would not think of any of those sounds again, and left, heading back to his own room.
His sheets needed changing for sure, but when Kadou rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he noticed that the bedroom door was no longer wide open, but slightly ajar, just as it had been before... before... Had it all been a dream? He wasn't certain anymore. It had seemed almost unreal. The only thing he could be certain of was that, dream or no, the sounds he had heard Evemer make would be ingrained in his memory, like it's very own touch-taste.