Chapter Text
“Why are you asking about the Dual-Soul rings?” Shang Qinghua narrowed his eyes as he popped another handful of melon seeds into his mouth.
“Oh, you actually remember them? Wow, I’m so impressed. You do know things about your own terrible novel,” Shen Qingqiu sneered over his fan. “Where are they located?”
“That’s hurtful. And why would I know if you don’t even know?” Airplane huffed.
Shen Qingqiu reminded himself that he couldn’t kill his annoying, useless fellow transmigrator even if he really wanted to.
“You only mentioned them once in chapter 874 with wife 416, the princess of the Sun Court Fae, remember?”
Shang Qinghua stared blankly at him. “Not at all, bro.”
“... I hate you.” Shen Qingqiu massaged his temples.
He’d only recently discovered his fellow transmigrator when he noticed Shang Qinghua doodling a shocked Pikachu face during a Peak Lord meeting. After cornering the squeaking man, he finally got answers: Shang Qinghua was Airplane, author of this trash fire novel they both now lived in.
“That’s mean,” Shang Qinghua said. “What do you need those for, anyway? We already went over it. Nothing can stop the Endless Abyss from opening and the System won’t let you just not send my son-”
“You’ve got to stop calling Luo Binghe your son,” Shen Qingqiu sighed heavily.
Meeting the author had explained quite a few things about the various plot holes and problems with the novel. Just one look at the man with his rumpled robes and lop-sided hair crown, and Shen Qingqiu doubted Airplane had ever had a coherent thought in his life, let alone a coherent plot for a novel.
With or without Airplane’s help, he needed those rings. The Immortal Alliance was approaching and if he could get his hands on them… Well, he could fix everything!
“I don’t like your scheming face. It’s scary,” Shang Qinghua said.
“Oh shut up,” he snapped. “You deal with demons. I am not scary compared to that king of yours.”
“Yeah, he’s terrifying,” Shang Qinghua sighed dreamily.
Shen Qingqiu whacked the An Ding Peak Lord with his fan. “Stop that face!”
“Ah, ow!! Ow, ow, owie! You’re so mean!”
“The rings! Anything about them at all! Use that useless brain for once!” Shen Qingqiu dropped back down into his seat and stole the bag of melon seeds for good measure.
They’d met on An Ding to minimize the chance of being interrupted by Shen Qingqiu’s sticky disciples. There was always a non-zero chance that Luo Binghe would still show up. His sticky white lotus disciple did follow his shizun around like a little duckling.
Shang Qinghua rubbed his head where he’d been smacked and turned his best teary face to Cucumber. “We’re bros-”
“I will tell the sect leader you are colluding with demons,” Shen Qingqiu said icily.
Shang Qinghua squawked. “You wouldn’t!”
“Try. Me.”
Airplane swallowed hard and closed his eyes, trying to think. “Okay, umm well.. I mean, I wrote like 10,000 words a day, so it’s not easy to remember all that! And I’ve been here for so long that it’s all like ancient history for me. Um… Princess of Fae? Okay, so fae… Right, that must have been around the time they dropped the Fae Realm Dungeons and Dragons book so I would have stolen-I mean borrowed a few of those details,” Shang Qinghua babbled through his thoughts.
Shen Qingqiu snorted. Of course, the man just grabbed random things from other books while writing Proud Immortal Demon Way. He wasn’t even surprised.
“Okay, the fae world must be near the Tian Yi area,” Shang Qinghua said. “That’s the place I usually threw anything like faerie-ish 'cause it was mostly ladies there.”
“Right, because that makes sense. Truly, your genius knows no end.” Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes. “Anything else?”
“Um…. no?”
Shen Qingqiu stood up. “Pack your things. I’m telling the sect leader that we are going on a mission. Be ready to leave tomorrow morning.”
Shang Qinghua stared around his office at the piles of papers scattered about. “What? I can’t just leave! My king and my paperwork!!”
“I don’t have time for your nonsense,” he snapped. “We’re too close to the Abyss storyline to waste any more time.”
“Bro, I do not understand what is happening in that brain of yours. Why are we chasing faeries and not like, finding a way to stop the entire event?”
Shen Qingqiu threw his fan at Shang Qinghua, nailing him right between the eyes. “Because that’s a set plot point that the System won’t allow to be changed. Or did you forget the Qi deviation that almost killed us both last time we tried that?”
“Ow, why is your aim so good?” Shang Qinghua whined, holding the red spot where the fan handle had smacked into his forehead.
Shen Qingqiu snorted. “Pack. We leave tomorrow morning from the bamboo house,” he said as he collected his thrown fan and then left the An Ding Peak Lord to wallow in self-pity.
He had far too much to do to let this sort of idiot slow him down. There were only two weeks until the Immortal Alliance Conference and the beginning of the Abyss plotline. Shen Qingqiu would be cutting it incredibly close to pull this off, but if he could stop Binghe from falling into the Abyss… if he could keep his sweet white lotus disciple, even the smallest chance was worth trying.
Flying back to the bamboo house, he thanked his lucky stars that his Without-A-Cure only seemed to act up during dramatic plot moments, so in his day-to-day life, it didn’t cause that many problems when he just used his qi to fly around the peaks.
[Unusual behavior detected. Please note that attempts to deviate from Luo Binghe entering the Abyss will cause a deduction of 10,000 B-points and immediate termination of your account.] The terrible Google Translate voice spoke against Shen Qingqiu’s mind as he stepped into his house.
“I wouldn’t dream of keeping Luo Binghe from the Abyss,” Shen Qingqiu sneered at the glowing blue rectangle floating at the edge of his vision. “I’m allowed to enjoy my last few weeks of time before it, aren’t I?”
[...]
Somehow even ellipses seemed judgemental when coming from his sworn enemy, the System.
“Shizun! You were gone so long!” Luo Binghe rounded the corner of the Qing Jing entrance where he must have just been waiting for Shen Qingqiu’s return.
“Ah, how are you this sticky? I was only gone for a few hours,” Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but smile as the fluffy-haired disciple walked over, carrying a tray of delicate snacks.
Without protest, Shen Qingqiu let Luo Binghe usher him to the bamboo house, pour tea, and set out an impressive array of snacks. He smiled faintly as the protagonist sat across from him and watched his shizun enjoy the things he’d cooked.
“Delicious as always,” Shen Qingqiu said once he ate his fill. “You should share with Ning Yingying.”
“I made these just for Shizun!”
Shen Qingqiu sighed, ah his shy little lotus. He couldn’t imagine his barely 18-year-old disciple suffering through the Abyss. He could hardly even admit to liking his future wife. How was this gentle lamb going to survive the Endless Abyss?
This old man might be useless, but he will try to save you! Shen Qingqiu promised as Luo Binghe recited all the chores he’d already completed for the day.
“Luo Binghe, tomorrow you will join Bai Zhan Peak on a night hunt,” Shen Qingqiu said.
“Shizun, any training I need, I would receive from you!” Luo Binghe protested, eyes already growing shiny with unshed tears.
“To best prepare for the Immortal Alliance, you must train in different situations,” Shen Qingqiu nodded.
“Shizun…”
“I know you will make me proud,” Shen Qingqiu said, putting his fan in front of his face to avoid looking at the devastating sad-puppy face Luo Binghe was making.
He had to be strong! If Luo Binghe stayed at the peak, there was no way that Shen Qingqiu could slip away. His sticky disciple would hunt him down and, because he was the protagonist, he’d find his shizun with ease.
Luo Binghe relented at the promise of making Shen Qingqiu proud. “As you wish, Shizun. This disciple will make quick work on the night hunt and return swiftly!”
“I’m certain you will.” Shen Qingqiu couldn’t resist reaching over to ruffle Luo Binghe’s fluffy hair.
Luo Binghe beamed and leaned into the touch.
Shen Qingqiu then penned a quick note to Yue Qingyuan, not willing to risk an in-person talk, and let Ming Fan deliver that.
******************
Getting Luo Binghe out the door before Shang Qinghua showed up proved to be the biggest challenge of the next day. Luo Binghe kept bringing out more snacks and meals in stasis containers to make sure ‘Shizun has good things to eat.’ It was bordering on ridiculous.
“Luo Binghe, go or you are going to miss the departure,” Shen Qingqiu said, gently tapping Luo Binghe on the head with his fan. “I promise I will not starve in the week you are gone.”
“Two days. I will just be gone for two days, I promise!” Luo Binghe declared, reluctantly walking to the door of the bamboo house. “Shizun shouldn’t try to cook his own meals while I am gone.”
“I only caused a fire twice,” Shen Qingqiu huffed. “Now go!”
Luo Binghe turned one last sad gaze to his shizun before leaving.
Shen Qingqiu let out a heavy sigh and quickly began packing his own things.
“Shizun!”
Shen Qingqiu jumped, shoving his qiankun pouch behind his back. “Binghe!”
“And if Shizun needs a bath run, please just call a disciple to prepare the water. And if you want tea, your favorite blend is in the cabinet and-”
“Luo Binghe, go this instant!” Shen Qingqiu took his disciple’s shoulder and steered the boy back out the door again.
“Shizun will take care of himself, and not do anything dangerous?”
“This master is capable of taking care of himself!” Shen Qingqiu huffed.
Luo Binghe looked like he seriously doubted that statement.
“Go now. Bai Zhan will not wait and it would embarrass this shizun if his disciple were late to their departure,” Shen Qingqiu said, bringing the peak pride into matters.
It worked and Luo Binghe nodded and took off at a run down the mountain.
Shen Qingqiu sighed heavily and returned to packing, bringing his own monster guide, a change of clothes, food, talismans, and anything else he thought might be useful for whatever nonsense he and Airplane were about to walk into.
“Shen-shixiong?”
He looked up and sighed in relief to see Airplane and not Luo Binghe again. “Come in, I’m just finishing up.”
Airplane stepped inside and looked around. “Where’s my son?”
“Stop calling Binghe that!” Shen Qingqiu threw a pillow at the An Ding Peak Lord. “I sent him on a night hunt, so he should be gone a few days at least.”
“Good call.” Shang Qinghua nodded.
It only took a few more minutes to finish packing, then he and Airplane were off. With sword flight, the trip to Tian Yi Overlook’s territory didn’t take too long. As soon as they landed, Airplane threw up a talisman and a shimmering bubble surrounded the two of them.
“There, camouflage,” Shang Qinghua nodded. “No one will see us now, so the Tian Yi nuns won’t start asking questions.”
“Not bad,” Shen Qingqiu admitted. “Where is this fae princess?”
“I told you. I don’t remember!”
Shen Qingqiu glared and pulled a map out of his pouch. “Alright, then we can narrow it down. Binghe originally spotted wife 416 while bathing in an enchanted waterfall… so we need to look for rivers or lakes or magic water holes with waterfalls since you wrote this.”
“Your memory scares me,” Shang Qinghua muttered as he leaned over to examine the map.
Eventually, Shang Qinghua pointed to a section on the map. “Here I think. There’s a river that ends in this waterfall. It’s by the creeping seaweed river fields.”
Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes. “Of course, the seaweed that turns all the surrounding water into ocean water even if it’s a river. The seaweed that sucks salt from the body after wrapping around its prey, because that makes sense.”
“You’re so mean.”
Shen Qingqiu whacked his arm with his fan. “Because you wrote such a garbage mess!”
“I had bills to pay!” Shang Qinghua protested.
With a huff, Shen Qingqiu started walking towards the area Airplane had shown on the map. With luck, they wouldn’t run into actual danger. As far as he recalled, this area was peaceful, a place that Binghe had visited to collect some magical flower as a birthday gift for wife… either 312 or 113, Shen Qingqiu could never totally tell those two apart. He suspected they were the same character that Airplane had given a new name after a few hundred chapters.
He eyed the man beside him, munching happily on melon seeds.
Yes, forgetting and reusing characters seemed very much his style.
“I’m surprised my son let you out of his sight,” Shang Qinghua said. “He’s attached to you like a… a…” the brilliant writer pondered. “Sticky… thing.”
“He’s just very loyal,” Shen Qingqiu protested.
“Right. Sure,” Airplane said. “So, what’s the plan with this ring?”
It might be nice to have someone else in on this plan, but the risk of the system getting involved was just too high.
“I can’t say,” Shen Qingqiu finally answered.
“Oh, system quest? That sucks. Mine’s not pushed me on any side quests lately.” Airplane nodded in understanding.
He kept quiet and let his fellow transmigrator think about that.
It took until early evening before they found a river and began following it from a safe distance. Shen Qingqiu saw the seaweed floating along the surface and had no interest in dealing with that particular plant, even if he wanted to get a little closer to see if it really has teeth.
Since they didn’t have to stop to sleep, they made good time through the forested area. Shortly after the sun vanished beneath the horizon, the sounds of rushing water hit their ears. Both peak lords paused as Shen Qingqiu pulled up a light talisman.
“How good is this camo bubble you have us in?” Shen Qingqiu asked.
“It’s pretty good but probably not like ‘fool a faerie’ good,” Airplane said thoughtfully.
“Would she be there right now?”
Shang Qinghua stared at him. “Bro. How would I know?”
Shen Qingqiu was going to strangle this useless hack. “You wrote her. You don’t know what she’d be doing?” he hissed.
“Why would I know what she’s doing on a random day years before she meets my son?” Airplane hissed right back.
“Make a guess!”
Airplane sighed and rubbed at the back of his head. “Ah well, she’s a sunlight faerie, so she wouldn’t be up now since it’s after sunset.”
“Sun faeries are weak at night. They would be in the Sun Dome Flower castles at this time of day,” Shen Qingqiu nodded. “I would love to see one of those…”
“Cucumber, focus.”
“Shut up, I am.”
Shen Qingqiu wiped his hands on his robes and strolled towards the sounds of the waterfall, and Shang Qinghua followed dutifully behind.
He hated that Airplane’s garbage world actually had some prettiness to it, and moments like this made it hard to bash the writer. The river ended in a waterfall cascading over a steep cliff. Beautiful greenery bloomed everywhere around them, rainbows refracting through the splashing water even though there was no sunlight to make them. Clusters of Sun Dome Flowers hung like falling stars along the cliffside.
Beautiful.
A reminder of the magical world they inhabited.
A magical, beautiful world written by an idiot.
Shen Qingqiu shook his head out of his momentary daze and glared at Airplane as the peak lord smiled at the scenery.
“This is it,” Shen Qingqiu said with certainty. “The Rainbow Falls and Star Drop Cliffs.”
“Yep,” Airplane agreed. “We just need to get into the lake.”
“Didn’t the Ghost-Furred Octopus guard the rings?” he asked as he eyed the lake at the bottom of the cliff.
Shang Qinghua stared. “How do you just remember this stuff? I barely remember my breakfast today.”
Shen Qingqiu ignored him, like usual, and pulled out his qiankun pouch from his sleeve. It took only a moment for him to pull out a well-worn book and flip through it. He tapped against a page.
“Alright, the Ghost-Furred Octopus is nocturnal and will attack anything when hungry. Its favorite food is…” he sighed. “Sweets since it lives in saltwater, but it will eat anything.” He glared at Airplane.
“In my defense, I was recovering from wisdom tooth surgery when I wrote that section, and I could only eat smoothies and yogurt.”
“How is that a defense!?”
“Pity then?”
Shen Qingqiu kicked at him before snapping his book shut.
“Did you write your own bestiary?” Shang Qinghua asked. “Lemme see!”
Airplane tried to grab the book as Shen Qingqiu just held it up in the air above his head. “I’m not giving you anything. You’re the author! Why do you need a cheat sheet.”
“You’re a freaky walking encyclopedia! C’mon, share the wealth. We’re bros.”
“We are so not.” Shen Qingqiu shoved the book back into his bag and then pulled out an ornate box. “Such a waste,” he murmured.
Shang Qinghua stared at the box. “Wait, is that…? You can’t waste my son’s hard work like that!”
“Stop calling him your son, you disaster!” Shen Qingqiu glared. “And these are the only sweets I have with me, so unless you want to be an octopus’ appetizer, shut up!”
“Can’t I just have one? You get to eat Binghe’s food all the time!”
“You don’t deserve it. Now shut up before you wake the creature.”
Shang Qinghua’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click before the two peak lords began tiptoeing towards the lake.
“The ring is at the bottom of the lake. How are we going to get it?” Shang Qinghua whispered.
“Would you like to go swimming or feed the octopus?” Shen Qingqiu asked.
“... I hate you,” Shang Qinghua groaned. “I’ll swim since I’ve got some water control talismans with me. It’ll be like I’m not even there.”
Shen Qingqiu nodded and walked over to the edge of the lake. Strange he used to have fear, but after just a few years as a powerful Peak Lord… Well, the only thing that scared him was the thought of post-Abyss Luo Binghe.
Besides, the Ghost-Furred Octopus was one of the most interesting creatures he’d read about in Proud Immortal Demon Way, and there was almost nothing about it in the Qing Jing libraries. As a responsible Peak Lord, he needed to update his bestiary with as much information as he could.
Shen Qingqiu took a breath and looked towards Airplane who gave him a thumbs up. At least if he died here, he wouldn’t have to worry about the whole human stick thing.
With a focused burst of his qi, Shen Qingqiu plucked several leaves from the nearby trees and let the leaves gently land on the lake’s surface. The ripples danced across the surface then slowly, a massive shape of what appeared to just be lake water rose in a vast sphere.
The ghost fur made it look just like water, totally transparent!
“Go, you idiot!” Shen Qingqiu hissed at the frozen-in-place Shang Qinghua.
Airplane jolted and then flashed the talisman in front of himself, surrounded by a smooth surface of water, his fellow peak lord slipped into the lake without even a ripple.
Shen Qingqiu opened the box and tried to ignore the incredible scent of the egg tarts, still warm and perfect, thanks to the magic of qiankun pouches and a special talisman, Luo Binghe included with every meal he prepared for his shizun.
He tossed one tart at the dome of water in the lake. The perfect treat plopped into the dome of water, where it floated for a moment before vanishing bit by bit. Then two huge, blue eyes opened and stared at Shen Qingqiu.
The Peak Lord waved nervously.
“Another?” He asked as he tossed a second tart towards where he hoped the creature’s mouth was.
The creature seemed intelligent, watching Shen Qingqiu curiously even as it ate the tart. The eyes followed his movements as he slowly sat down by the edge of the lake.
“Ah, what a beautiful lake,” Shen Qingqiu said.
He held another tart in his hand, moving it slowly from side to side and watching the enormous eyes track it.
“Fascinating,” he murmured as he tossed the sweet.
Glancing through the mostly transparent creature, Shen Qingqiu could just barely make out the shape of Airplane nearly to the glowing set of rocks marking the treasure at the bottom of the lake.
Just a little longer to stall.
“Do you like these?” he asked the octopus.
The creature nodded, and Shen Qingqiu gasped. “OH, you’re incredible. You understand me!” He tossed another tart.
As the treat slowly vanished again, Shen Qingqiu pulled his book back out. “Have you lived here a long time?” he asked.
Another nod.
Another tart.
Shen Qingqiu wished all the creatures in his bestiary had been so cooperative!
He tossed another egg tart. Only a few left now. Thankfully, he still had a few trays of red bean buns he could pull out next if needed.
“Could I sketch you? You just have to stay still. I’ll give you more tarts. Would that be okay?” he asked.
The water shape shifted and Shen Qingqiu realized with delight that it had raised two tentacles into the air. They too were crystal-clear like the flawless water of the lake.
“You’re beautiful!” he gasped as he tossed another tart and then began sketching.
It wasn’t easy to capture the essence of water (he made a note to add that as an assignment to the painting curriculum for his students) but water as an octopus at least had a shape he could somewhat use as a guide. It helped that his monster model did a wonderful job staying still.
Every few minutes he threw in another tart and when those ran out, he moved on to the red bean buns. Luo Binghe always packed far too many of those anyway since they were some of Shen Qingqiu’s favorites.
The octopus seemed to enjoy them too. Its tentacles rippled with every bite of the bun.
“They’re my favorite too, but that’s alright. I don’t mind sharing with you,” Shen Qingqiu told the octopus. “You’re wonderful company.”
The octopus’ tentacles suddenly flew outwards, raining water all around Shen Qingqiu, but leaving a neat circle around the peak lord dry.
“Ah, now you’re just showing off!” Shen Qingqiu smiled and tossed another bun to the creature.
“Having fun?”
“Ah yes, my new friend and I…” Shen Qingqiu paused and then looked over at the now soaking wet Shang Qinghua holding a small treasure chest in his hands.
“Well done Airplane!”
“You are talking to the guardian of the faerie lake. What even is your life?” Shang Qinghua asked. “I never wrote that it was intelligent!”
The octopus’ tentacles rained water down onto Airplane. He sputtered. “I wrote you and this is the respect I get?”
“Ah, forgive my friend. He’s an idiot,” Shen Qingqiu soothed the octopus as he got to his feet. “Thank you for your company.” He dumped the remaining buns into the water.
The octopus shivered with what Shen Qingqiu hoped was delight before melting back down into the lake as though it had never existed.
“I do not understand you at all. You just chatted with the Ghost-Furred Octopus while I was suffering! C’mon, I deserve at least one red bean bun or something. Please, bro?”
Shen Qingqiu sighed. “Fine, but only once we get away from the lake. I don’t want to make Kuai jealous.”
“You named it. Of course, you did.” Shang Qinghua sighed heavily.
Shen Qingqiu just rolled his eyes as he tucked his bestiary safely away and headed back down the trail. When the sound of rushing water finally faded, Shen Qingqiu passed over a single mantou to the useless author.
Shang Qinghua gasped and ate it with tears in his eyes. “My son is so talented!”
“You’re gross and I hate you,” Shen Qingqiu snapped. “Give me the rings.”
Airplane tossed over the small chest without a thought. Shen Qingqiu huffed, no respect for his own creations! How could such a fool create such interesting things and then abandon them all?
A hack! A true hack author!
He ignored Airplane’s almost obscene noises of enjoyment as he ate and opened up the box. Inside the small, ornate jewelry box sat two identical rings.
The rings themselves were a dark gray color, made from an incredibly rare ore called soulium that could only be found in the Heavenly realm. At the center of the band of metal sat a clear stone. The metal plus the clear soul-stone (damn Airplane’s inability to name anything!) tied the two rings together no matter the distance.
It allowed souls to switch places.
Luo Binghe had collected the items and then… never used them! The use itself was a little unclear, but Shen Qingqiu was certain he could figure it out. If a simpleton like Airplane had created it, then surely he could get the results he wanted.
“What exactly do I need to do to make the soul switch happen?” Shen Qingqiu asked his fellow Peak Lord.
“Oh,” Shang Qinghua wiped his mouth from where a few stray pieces of mantou hung to his lips. “Well, you’ll need a drop of blood from the person you want to switch with on one ring and a drop of your blood on the other ring. Wait, what are you doing with those?”
“Just some fail-safes,” Shen Qingqiu said.
“Hmmm…. Doubt,” Airplane said.
Shen Qingqiu smacked him with his fan.
“After the whole drop of blood thing, then what?” he asked Airplane.
“You just wear the ring that doesn’t have your blood and put the ring with your blood on the other person. Souls will switch places until both rings are removed,” Airplane said. “Are you going to store your soul in a ring? I don’t think it works like that.”
“No, because I’m not an idiot.” He rolled his eyes.
Shang Qinghua gasped. “I am not giving you my blood! I’m not becoming a human stick in your place!”
Shen Qingqiu snorted. “As if you could pull off being the peak lord of Qing Jing, please.”
“Hey, if you can then I… you know, you’re right. Sorry, your plan to make me take your place won’t work.”
“A genuine tragedy,” Shen Qingqiu deadpanned.
Shang Qinghua laughed. “You really won’t tell me what you’re doing? I am so good at secrets!”
“Yes, you are. Especially huge ice-demon-shaped secrets, but this one I cannot tell you.” Shen Qingqiu tapped his fan to his lips and sighed. “Do not ask me again.”
Airplane frowned. “You okay bro?” he asked.
“I’ll be fine. Come on, we need to get back and finish preparing for the Immortal Alliance Conference,” Shen Qingqiu hopped onto Xiu Ya and flew away, leaving the An Ding Peak Lord to scramble after him.