Chapter Text
"I'm gonna fuck you," Sehun whispered into his hair. His breath was warm and stinking of alcohol. He wrapped his arms around Jongin as they were walking back to their trailer from the club. "I'm gonna fuck you all night long," he added and sucked a tiny spot under Jongin's ear. "Fuck, you're so pretty. Still can't keep my hands off you, baby doll."
Jongin giggled and let himself be practically carried by his boyfriend of six years. He loved these moments. The only moments that Sehun was so verbally affectionate instead of his sober hours where he'd just bend Jongin over and fuck him silly and play with Jongin's body to the point of overstimulation and tears. Jongin was in love with both sides of his boyfriend but couldn't help and craved his drunken soft side. Being with Sehun these days was like being in the air. Levitating, unsure, exciting, unpredictable, intense, insecure and—
"You were so pretty tonight. Always so gorgeous but when you dance for me like that… my very own slutty little stripper," Sehun growled in his ear as he aggressively keyed his way into their tiny mobile home while still sucking bruises into Jongin's neck.
"Want me to strip for you now?" Jongin asked, playful and sultry.
Being with Sehun was like flying too close to the sun.
"No, baby, I wanna unwrap you myself," he mumbled, pushing Jongin onto the bed after they hastily took their shoes off.
"You're so drunk," Jongin giggled.
"You love it."
"You're nice to me when you're drunk," Jongin whispered, pushing his arms up so Sehun could take his t-shirt off.
"Because when I'm sober, I remember that I'm a piece of shit who doesn't deserve an angel like you," Sehun said so casually against Jongin's collarbone like this was a known fact!
"Sehun, what? No — hhmph" He was shut up by Sehun's mouth attacking his. He moaned when Sehun's demanding tongue curled into his mouth, tasting him, defiling him as Sehun always liked to put it.
Sehun fumbled with the button of Jongin's jeans and pulled them down along with his boxers, leaving him naked, flushed, and vulnerable on the old mattress. Sehun knelt between Jongin's spread legs, holding one thin ankle in his strong grip, watching Jongin squirm on the bed for him. He pressed his lips against the inside of Jongin's ankle and kissed there.
"Hunnie," Jongin whined, making grabby hands.
"You're so lovely," he whispered against Jongin's soft skin, making the dancer gasp. Jongin was not used to this much affection from his boyfriend. He was used to Sehun coming home from the auto shop, smelling like dirty rustic metal and motor oil, hands stained black, sweaty and stinking of the old cars he fixed all day, grabbing Jongin by any body part that was closest, bending him over a surface or pushing him down to his knees and brutally fuck one of his holes. He was used to being Sehun's stress-relief toy. He was used to Sehun finger fuck him for hours at a time just because he felt like watching Jongin twitch and beg in frustration. He was used to Sehun objectifying him to the point of not talking to him all day but having Jongin's head in his lap for hours just to keep his cock warm in the boy's mouth. Jongin wasn't used to this. This happened barely twice a month when Sehun got insanely drunk and was miraculously in a good mood. So he savored every second of it.
"I love you."
Jongin gasped at the words, tears running down the side of his face as Sehun sucked on his nipple and nuzzled every inch of skin. "My sweet sweet angel, best baby doll," Sehun mumbled against Jongin's sternum.
"P-please, please, Hunn—" He cried helplessly.
"Please what, baby? Tell Hunnie what you want, I'll do anything for you."
"L-love you, love it when you t-talk like that, l-like you… ah ah," he moaned when Sehun lapped at his small cock.
"Like I what, doll?"
"L-like you ca—re," Jongin breathed, embarrassed and aroused.
"I care, of course, I fucking care. You're all I want, all I'll ever want, Jongin." He sounded so desperate, so agonizingly desperate. His eyes so red and hazy telling Jongin how drunk he was.
For a long time now, Jongin was associating the stink of alcohol with being loved and cherished. He knew it was sick, he knew their relationship was destructive but he didn't care. Sehun was the first person he fell in love with as a teenager. The raggedy handsome boy in his class that nobody talked to. He was tall and lanky with black hair and always smelled funny and acted like he hated everyone. His grades were horrible and he always smoked in some corner of the schoolyard. Jongin was so drawn to him without knowing why. He was the only person Sehun sometimes looked at without utter disgust in his eyes. Jongin smiled shyly at him once and Sehun immediately looked away.
They were assigned to a biology project together and that's how Jongin got to talk to Sehun for the first time. He invited the boy back to his parents’ fancy house for a work session for their project. His mother's face twisted in distaste upon seeing Jongin's new friend. Jongin, son of a nice upper-middle-class family, a talented dancer with straight A’s on his way to one of the most prestigious dance academies in the country.
That was until the first time Sehun told him he was pretty. Jongin blushed. "You are too," he mumbled.
Sehun huffed a laugh. "I'm all stained up and smell like motor oil and cigarettes. People move away from me."
"I don't!" Jongin said defiantly.
Sehun hummed thoughtfully. "I've noticed. You look like a porcelain doll."
Jongin blinked at his matter-of-factly tone. "Th-thank you," he mumbled, blushing. "I like the way you smell."
Sehun stared at him in disbelief. "You're a weird kid."
Jongin frowned. "I'm not a kid. We're literally the same age."
Sehun smiled. "We sure are, doll."
Sehun kissed him the day their project report ended. They were sitting at Jongin's desk in his bedroom. A plate of healthy nutritious snacks in front of them. Sehun smelled particularly intense that day. He smelled like cheap beer.
"We did so well, we should celebrate," Jongin said cheerfully after saving the final draft of the project report on his computer.
Sehun snorted. "You mean you did good. I just sat here and did nothing."
"You did one thing."
"What's that, doll?"
"You stared at me the whole time," he smiled knowingly.
"You were blushing the whole time. I like making you blush," Sehun smirked.
Jongin felt his guts twisting in a pleasant knot. "Why?"
Sehun shrugged. "Just do… I wonder what else would make you blush."
"I don't… kn—"
"Have you ever kissed anyone, Jongin?"
Jongin blinked at him, not wanting to seem like a loser. "Of course I have!" His voice came out high-pitched.
Sehun laughed out loud. "Little liar."
"I'm not lying! I've kissed tons of girls," Jongin squeaked.
"Girls, huh?" Sehun narrowed his pretty snake-like eyes.
Jongin felt his cheeks heat up. "Have you ever kissed a girl?"
Sehun regarded him for a moment. "I don't kiss girls, doll."
"Wha— who do you kiss then?"
Sehun shrugged. "I've kissed a few boys in my neighborhood."
Jongin's stomach clenched in disappointment. What boys? What did they look like? Did Sehun call them doll too?
"Lanky and trashy like me. None of them as pretty and dainty as you," Sehun's lips curled into a sweet smile like he could read Jongin's mind.
"We-were you comparing them to-to me?"
Sehun leaned forward in his chair. Cheap beer and cigarettes and motor oil hitting Jongin in the nose. "Nobody got nothing on you, doll."
"All shy and rosy," he added, smiling.
Jongin stared at Sehun's thin lips. Chapped but a little wet from the way he had just licked them. His own tongue darted out to wet his lips.
Thinking back, their first kiss was horrible! At that moment, as two horny gay teenagers, it had felt amazing but now that they were both so much better at it the first one felt laughably terrible. But Jongin couldn't be sure. Sehun was the only person he'd ever kissed and he knew that aside from a couple of teenage boys, he was the only one Sehun had ever kissed. Maybe they were bad kissers but didn't know it. Jongin just knew that he loved the way Sehun kissed him, drunk or sober, aggressive or soft, Sehun kissed like Jongin was his property, exactly how he fucked him. He touched Jongin as Jongin belonged to him in the most primal and poisonous way.
"Hunnie, k-kiss me, please, fuck me," he cried after Sehun's urgent deceleration of love.
After six years of being together, his body had molded around Sehun. Around Sehun's cock, fingers, fist, and tongue. It didn't matter which, his body was always ready to take Sehun, to please Sehun and satisfy him. Of course, Sehun keeping him plugged most times that they were home helped. He usually put an obscene amount of lube inside of Jongin's hole and plugged him throughout the weekends, taking it out only when he wanted to use that hole. According to Sehun, Jongin's pretty little dancer body was tight in all the right places and loose and welcoming also in all the right places.
"Want me to fuck your pretty pussy?" Sehun mused against his neck, fingers wiggling around Jongin's cock. Jongin whined in response and opened his legs further to fully accommodate Sehun.
"Your little clit is so wet and hard too. Wanna sit on daddy's face instead?"
Right! Drunk Sehun had a daddy kink and both drunk and sober Sehun were vastly interested in breeding Jongin. Jongin had grown to be into those things as well. How could he not when Sehun squeezed his titts in his big hands and told him that he wanted to milk him dry.
"P-please, don't wanna move, Hunnie. Want your cock," he whimpered and pressed his lips against Sehun's earlobe. "Breed me till I can't move, and the-then just keep using me. M-my puss-y so ready, don't even need to p-prep, me, daddy, just use your toy, plea—" he wheezed when Sehun suddenly pushed inside of him all the way. Sehun was so big that they were both lucky Jongin didn't have an actual pussy because there was no way Sehun could fit all the way inside one. Jongin prided himself for being able to take Sehun to the hilt and fucking loved it.
Sehun held him down, pushed inside all the way without moving as his fingers clutched into Jongin's long curly brown hair. Jongin whined and tightened his hole up around Sehun to make him move, but Sehun hissed and held Jongin down tighter. "Don't squeeze. I need a second otherwise I'll cum right now from how fucking hot you and your filthy little mouth are."
Jongin couldn't help but giggle. He loved vulnerable moments of Sehun, he loved it when he could be playful and teasing like this. Sober Sehun didn't respond well to being teased. Sober Sehun wasn't this easy.
Sehun fucked him slowly and affectionately that night, a lot of kisses and sweet pet names, slow drags of his cock against Jongin's prostate and a lot of loving little whispers. They came together and Sehun stayed inside him for a little while and they fell asleep like that.
Sehun forgot his nightly ritual in his drunken haze. Every night before sleep, he'd fuck a lot of lube into Jongin with his fingers and plug him shut, squeeze his ass cheeks, leave a hard spank on one and a toothy kiss on the other. "For morning use," he'd whisper before sleep. They were both young and had high libidos, but Sehun's sex drive was insane. He fucked like a machine and was ready to go again in no time. Sometimes, in his drunken haze, he'd tell Jongin that it was because of how hot and gorgeous his baby was.
"How can I look at you and not want to fuck you silly the whole time?" He'd said multiple times.
Sehun's parents found a gay porn magazine in his room and kicked him out of the house when Sehun was in sophomore year of high school. They had been together for a year and a half then. Jongin was too far gone and in love and still hasn't told his own parents about Sehun because he knew how much they hated the boy. Sehun bounced from shelter to shelter for a while. His father was a mechanic and had taught Sehun everything since the boy was little, so Sehun started working at an auto shop. They hung out all the time after Jongin's school and Jongin told his parents he was at the library studying.
Sehun bought Jongin a cheap plastic ring with his first income.
"So everyone knows you're mine," he mumbled when he pushed the cheap jewelry into Jongin's chest. His cigarette hanging off of his lips, his hair messy and his hands greasy and stained.
Jongin squealed happily and jumped in Sehun's arms. "Hunnie, it's so pretty, thank you. Put it on my finger, come on, grumpy."
Sehun grumbled, but did it anyway and then he pushed Jongin against a secluded wall and kissed him. "I wanna fuck you, Nini," he rasped in Jongin's ear.
Jongin swallowed nervously, they still hadn't had sex all the way because Jongin was scared. Just hand jobs and blow jobs. Jongin was worried about so many things.
"What if it hurts and I die, Sehunnie?"
"I won't let it hurt, silly. I'll finger you first until you're ready."
"What if… what if we have sex and you don't like me anymore?"
He voiced his biggest fear.
"Why would I not like you after sex?" Sehun blinked, confused.
"Krystal told me she let her boyfriend, like, take her virginity and then he broke up with her because he said she was a slut now," Jongin pouted, looking down. Remembering how upset and sad poor Krystal was.
Sehun frowned, and then huffed. "Straight boys are fucking stupid, Nini. If she's a slut, then he's one too! Besides, nothing wrong with being a slut. Pretty sure I'll like you a lot more after sex."
Jongin looked up at him, still pouting. "How are you so sure?"
Sehun's lips curled upward into a tiny smile. "I love sucking your cute little dick, and I love kissing you and I never get tired of doing those things. You're a pretty doll. What's there to not like?" He shrugged.
Jongin smiled at his boyfriend, leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Can you wait for me a little bit longer?"
"Can we still give each other head?"
Jongin giggled. "Yes, we can."
"Good, because I don't think I can go a day without your mouth on me or mine on you. But I'll wait for the other thing. Want doll to want me, you know?" He said into Jongin's shoulder.
Jongin hugged him tighter. "Doll wants you so much."
Jongin woke up with Sehun lazily fucking into him. They were lying on their sides and one of Sehun's hands was squeezing Jongin's hip as the other was pulling his hair gently back.
"Se-sehun," Jongin whined from the wet dull pleasure in his insides. Sehun didn't answer. Once he knew Jongin was awake, he pulled out and pushed Jongin onto his hands and knees and knelt behind him, he grabbed Jongin's lithe waist and shoved his hard cock back in. Jongin gasped and braced his forearms under his head, pushed his ass back onto Sehun's cock and arched his back further to give his boyfriend a prettier sight and a tighter hole. Sehun spanked him a few times, making him whimper and tighten up. He dragged his hands up Jongin’s spine and grabbed him by his hair and pulled him up. Jongin groaned in pain and cried. He had already missed Sweet Sehun. Sehun knew he was crying so he put one large palm over Jongin's eyes, covering them as his other hand wrapped around Jongin's throat and gently squeezed the sides of his throat, partially blocking air. Jongin couldn't see anymore, he could only hear the squeak of the bed, the loud wet squelch of fucking and Sehun's harsh breathing against his hair. The blinding pleasure in his guts built up and Jongin let himself go completely and let all of his weight be Sehun's problem. Sehun never failed, of course. He held Jongin up without changing his brutal rhythm and his constant attack against the boy's prostate. Jongin felt light-headed and dizzy from lack of oxygen and not being able to see and mostly from being fucked like a literal object. No will, no weight, no words, just a hole to be filled. The thought occupied the leftover space in his airless brain and he felt like he was floating in darkness and primal pleasure. He was cumming hard before he even knew it, he was probably thrashing in Sehun's arms from overstimulation but Sehun was holding him tight and safe.
I won't let it hurt, silly.
Hot abundant cum shot deep in his guts and teeth sank into his shoulder as the hand around his throat let go and covered his mouth instead to mask his screaming.
He was alone in bed when he opened his eyes. Feeling like nothing, literally. He heard noises from the other side of their trailer and managed to drag himself out of bed. His hole throbbed around the plug inside of him. He was still buck naked, of course. Sehun was sitting at the tiny kitchen table. Ashtray and a cup of coffee in front of him and a plate of breakfast things in the middle of the table. He was already in his black overalls, the sleeves wrapped around his waist and he was shirtless because he usually wore a shirt last thing before leaving for work. He looked like he had showered. He drew a long drag from the cigarette between his fingers and gave Jongin an amused head to toe glance.
Jongin was still in the dark space. He walked straight to Sehun and dropped to his knees on the floor between Sehun's legs and lay his head on Sehun's thigh. He felt fingers in his hair, gently massaging where it hurt from being pulled.
"Wash the plate after you're done eating." This was his way of letting Jongin know that he had made him breakfast and that he wanted to make sure Jongin ate before leaving for his work. Jongin couldn't cook to save his life. He also couldn't buy groceries by himself and always messed something up. Almost all of the house - trailer - affairs were on Sehun. He cooked and cleaned and paid the bills with the money they both brought in, Sehun from the auto shop and Jongin from teaching dance to kids at the youth center. Jongin had no idea how he'd survive without Sehun handling almost all the adult stuff in their life.
He nodded his head. "Will you pick me up from work tonight?" Sehun always picked him up when he got off work late and they walked home together. Their neighborhood was pretty unsafe and Jongin had had more than one horrible experience of being harassed.
"Can't. Gotta work late tonight."
Jongin looked up, a little worried, a lot worried. The darkness filled more of his head. "I can't walk home alone."
Sehun frowned down at him and picked him up from the floor pulling him in his lap. "Did something happen again? Tell me, Jongin. I should introduce those fuckers to a crowbar one of these days," he hissed.
"Nothing happened," Jongin mumbled, grabbing Sehun's hand and putting it against his cheek to nuzzle into it because it soothed both of them. "J-just, you know I don't like walking alone at night. The people from the house down the block are scary and I…" he choked up, darkness taking over, he felt heavy with so much ugliness. "Don't want you to l-leave me." More pathetic tears and Jongin wanted to close in on himself and make himself as tiny as possible.
"Shhh." Sehun wrapped his arms around him and placed his chin on top of Jongin's head. "Baekhyun from the center knows me. I'll call him today, tell him to walk you home. Lock the doors, take a shower and rest till I get home. There's some leftover from yesterday in the fridge. Heat it up how I taught you and don't burn yourself… or the house down. Can you do that for me?" He murmured while stroking Jongin's hair and the side of his bare waist.
"F-for you," he nodded his head.
Sehun sighed and gently moved Jongin off of his lap. “I’m late for work, doll.”
Jongin hurried up, wanting to make things at least a little easier on Sehun. “Wait, I’ll get you a shirt.” Before Sehun could say anything, Jongin ran back to the sleeping area where their tiny closet and drawers were. He picked one of his own t-shirts. An oversized white tank-top he had worn earlier that week and it still smelled like him. Sehun was barely a head taller than Jongin but his torso was longer and he was insanely muscular with thick arms and broad shoulders and chest - most probably because of the type of job he had - and his upright posture made him look so much bigger than Jongin who was on the dainty side of things, slim dancers body with faint hints of lean muscles and - Sehun's favorite part of him to grab - a tiny waist and a soft, flat tummy. Most of Jongin's clothes fit Sehun because the dancer liked wearing oversized things.
“This is one of yours,” Sehun said, amused when Jongin went back to him and helped him put the top on.
“Just like you're mine,” he said shyly and pushed on his toes to leave a kiss on Sehun’s forehead.
Sehun raised his eyebrows, ghost of his playful smirk from last night still on his pretty lips.
“Sehun?”
“Hm?” He hummed as he tied his shoes.
“You’re not a piece of shit,” he said before he could stop himself.
Sehun almost froze. His eyes clouded and the playful smirk was gone. Jongin blinked.
“What?”
“L-last night. You called yourself that. Said you didn’t deserve me. You’re wrong,” he said nervously, picking the skin of his nails.
Sehun stared at him. His fingers twitched like he wanted to move towards Jongin, but didn’t. He picked up his keys and opened the door, looked back at Jongin again before saying, “You shouldn’t count on the things I say when I’m wasted.”
He slammed the door and left.
Jongin dropped to his knees and sobbed.
Being with Sehun was like free-falling. Thrilling, dangerous, life-changing, and lethal.
Sehun didn’t stop liking him after they had sex. On the contrary, it was as though he became obsessed with Jongin. It was definitely a two-way feeling. It was both their first time and Sehun told him that he’d done so much research on how to make anal sex painless and pleasurable. He bought the biggest container of lube Jongin had ever seen. Jongin giggled at it and called it a bucket of lube. Sehun had gotten condoms too.
“I get a lot of allowence, Hunnie, you should have let me buy this stuff. Weren’t they expensive?”
Sehun puffed out his chest. “I have a job, Nini. I can afford to buy stuff for sex. Plus, it’s my job to buy these things and take care of you.”
“Why?”
“This gay magazine I read said it’s the top’s job to make the bottom feel comfortable and safe, especially if it’s the first time,” he replied. Eyebrows furrowed very seriously.
“It’s your first time too. Let’s just make each other comfortable, ok?” Jongin pouted.
Sehun smiled and kissed his pout. “Ok, Nini. Anything you want,” he said indulgently.
Their first time, Sehun touched him like he was made of glass. He kissed between Jongin's thighs and was so gentle that by the end, Jongin had melted into the mattress of Sehun's bed.
Jongin told his parents about him and Sehun on his 18th birthday. They already knew Jongin was gay and couldn't care less. It was Sehun who was the problem. Jongin told them all the good things about Sehun, how sweet and caring, how hard-working and attentive he was. He begged them to at least meet Sehun again, this time as Jongin's boyfriend.
"No, Nini, I won't come to your house. Your parents hate me, why would I bother?" Sehun said when Jongin told him that his parents wanted to see him.
"Please, please? I just want them to see you like I see you. How amazing you are—"
"Doll, nobody sees me like you see me, ok? It's not gonna happen. I won't meet them."
Jongin crawled over and straddled Sehun's lap, making his strongest pouty face. "Please? For me? You said you'd do anything for your baby doll."
Sehun rolled his eyes but grabbed Jongin's hips to keep him close anyway. "They will never approve of us, Jongin. No one will!"
"Why not?" Jongin snapped, frustrated.
"Because!" He yelled, but his hands on Jongin were still gentle when he pushed Jongin off his lap to stand up. "I'm… fucking… look at me! I'm a piece of shit and you, you're a gorgeous, talented fucking prince with a bright future. My own parents don't want me, Jongin."
Jongin got up, angrily reached for Sehun and grabbed the front of his shirt. "You are not a piece of shit. If your parents didn't want you, it's their fucking loss. If my parents don't want you, it's their fucking loss. I want you, Sehun. You've been nothing but incredible to me. You're sweet and caring, but you never let anybody see that side of you. I know the good things that you do for others. I love you and don't you dare call the man I love a piece of shit." His angry tears stained his cheeks.
Sehun stared at him, probably not expecting Jongin to erupt like that. He sighed and softly grabbed Jongin's wrists and wrapped them around his own shoulders so they could hug. "Ok, alright. I'll meet them. Just please don't cry, baby. I don't want to make you sad."
"You didn't," Jongin mumbled into Sehun's chest.
"Hey, Jongin," Baekhyun greeted him after Jongin's last kid left the practice room.
"Oh, Baekhyun, hi," he said, trying to sound normal, trying not to turn into a sobbing mess on the floor again.
"How's it going, man? Your prince charming called and asked me to walk you home, he was worried about you."
Jongin smiled, genuine because he knew it to be true. Sehun was always concerned about Jongin being on his own.
"Thank you for agreeing. He has to work late tonight."
"Of course! He's a good friend and you're the loveliest teacher we have, according to the kids. You ready to go?"
"Yeah, how do you guys know each other?" He asked as they walked out and he locked the practice room.
"He lived in the center a few years ago and I was a volunteer back then. He was the oldest kid here so he helped with the little ones," Baekhyun said.
Jongin felt his heart clench in his chest. He knew Sehun lived in a bunch of different shelters but had no idea about the kids. "Help with what?"
"Oh, you know? We got a lot of scared kids coming from horrible living situations, a lot of panic attacks, a lot of screaming and crying. He was kind of like an older brother to them and helped make them feel safe."
Jongin nodded his head and for a few moments they just walked. It was quiet and pitch black in the street.
"I figured you knew. I remember him talking about you even back then. You guys are high school sweethearts, right? It's so cute," Baekhyun said with a smile.
"He never talks about the nice things he does," Jongin shrugged. "What did he say about me?" He was curious.
Baekhyun laughed. "He told me about this beautiful boy he was dating. Kept referring to you as Nini, it was cute. He used to ask me for advice on how to make you happy."
Jongin sniffled and hoped Baekhyun wouldn't notice, especially since he couldn't see his face. "So, does he make you happy?" The man asked.
Jongin wiped a tear, nodding. "I don't know how to live without him."
"Well, that's not the definition of happiness, but I'll take it."
Jongin knew that. He often thought about it. Was he happy? Was Sehun? He couldn't tell. He only knew that the high and the joy of being with Sehun, being Sehun's doll was something he could never imagine living without.
Baekhyun dropped him off at their trailer. "You both can get higher paying jobs and move to an actual apartment, you know? You both have skills."
Jongin blinked. He had never even considered that! Sehun helped him find this job when he had just left his parents' house and Jongin never even questioned it or asked for a better home. He thanked Baekhyun again and they said goodbye. He locked the door behind him and went straight for the fridge to find the food Sehun had left for him. Pasta. He ate it cold, washed the plastic container and went for a shower and cleaned up. He always felt more tired and lethargic after a shower, so he just wrapped himself naked in a blanket and lounged on their ugly old loveseat in front of the tiny old TV.
He didn't know how long he'd been dozing off when he heard the door being keyed open and a tired, disheveled Sehun walked in, and with him, a nasty sewage stink. Jongin tried not to gag when he sat up. He scrunched his nose, torn between wanting to go to greet his tired boyfriend and really not wanting anymore of that smell. He had a very sensitive nose and he loved Sehun's usual rustic musky smell, and it always calmed him down but this was absolutely unpleasant.
"There was a toilet problem at the shop," Sehun explained and strode towards him.
Jongin flinched back a little. "Please go shower first, Hun. I can't breathe from the stink."
Sehun's eyes darkened. "Well, you weren't gonna breathe anyway. Was gonna stuff your throat. It's been a stressful day."
He grabbed Jongin's arm and hauled him off the couch. "Then you're coming to watch me wash up."
Jongin let himself be carried because he knew he needed Sehun just as much. As harsh as Sehun had been with him recently, Jongin still found solace in him and this deep want to be close and intimate never wavered.
Their shower was ridiculously tiny but Sehun still found a way to fit them both in. He told Jongin to kneel in the corner as he stood under the spray of water and began washing up. Jongin looked up at the glorious sight before him. Sehun was impossibly hot! Long legs and long torso, all lean muscles rippling under pale, soft skin. His cock was fucking gorgeous and the sight of him was screaming strength. Maybe because Jongin knew for a fact that Sehun was insanely strong. He struck this primal feeling in Jongin, always making him ache for Sehun's touch and his attention. So when Sehun was washing up, Jongin carefully reached and put his hands on Sehun's thighs and began mouthing at his chubbed up cock. He had to close his eyes so water and soap droplets wouldn't hit him straight in his cornea, but he hummed when a large hand landed in his hair. Jongin had been feeling weird and in the same dark cloud since that morning. He needed to be close to Sehun and he'd take it anyway possible, any way Sehun allowed him to.
"How was your way back with Baek?"
Jongin was grateful for the talking. He liked talking to Sehun.
"Fine, told me about how you were obsessed with me back in high school," he joked and carefully looked up for a reaction.
Sehun snorted. "I don't think this is new information for you… here, wanna wash my cock?"
Jongin nodded happily and accepted some soap in the palm of his hand. One thing that never changed was the fact that he was always allowed to play with and touch Sehun's cock and he loved it. It was big, girthy, long and gorgeous with a thick vein running the underside of it and Jongin never got tired of being around it.
"You used to be obsessed with me, that's not new information." He shrugged and very gently and carefully washed Sehun's cock that was now rapidly hardening in his soapy hands. When Sehun didn't respond, he stole a glance and his mouth went dry from the dark look Sehun was giving him.
"I wanna piss on you," he suddenly said.
Jongin blinked up. "What?"
Sehun shrugged. “I was using the toilet at work today and I got to thinking… wouldn’t it be more fun if there was a pretty doll for me to use right now instead of stone and ceramic?”
His smirk was evil when Jongin’s jaw dropped and his eyes darkened. Jongin was a sucker for being objectified by his boyfriend to the extremes.
"It's only fair,” he added. “You know how many times you pissed yourself on my cock from how good I fucked you?" He smirked at Jongin’s scandalized face. Yes! Jongin, in fact, knew that. Sehun never failed to humiliate him for it and the way he did it, always ended up with Jongin having another orgasm.
"Besides," Sehun said, "I like marking my territory."
"J-just not in my eyes, ok?" Jongin choked out. They'd indulged in so many types of play for the past few years that they knew what ticked the other off. Regardless of how Sehun treated him, he always made sure to keep Jongin safe. He was as concerned with Jongin's safety as he was the first time they had sex.
"The rest of your face is fine?" Sehun’s eyes twinkled.
Jongin blushed.
"You're such an easy little slut, doll, is there anything you wouldn't let me do to you?" He asked menacingly and the answer was no, there wasn't much Jongin wouldn't let Sehun do to his body.
Sehun shut the water off and grabbed Jongin's hair in a tight grip and tipped his head back and grabbed his own cock in his other hand. He rubbed the head of his cock against Jongin's lips and cheeks, making him whimper and try to follow it with his tongue, but Sehun gripped his hair tighter and kept him immobile. Jongin looked up, giving Sehun an utterly innocent gaze that made Sehun’s pupils dilate further. Sehun pointed his cock at Jongin’s throat and chest and Jongin felt the first drops of warm liquid. He whimpered uncontrollably and dug his nails into Sehun’s thighs. “Shhh, relax and let go… that’s right. Like a good little property.”
Sehun was always a little nicer when they tried something new, he carefully watched Jongin, talked to him and praised him. He moaned, mouth falling open when he felt warm urine trickling down his abdomen and his crotch. Sehun’s evil grin was too hot for him to handle, so he closed his eyes, but then Sehun harshly pulled on his hair. “No, no, keep your eyes on me. Wanna see you when I’m marking you like this. Maybe I’ll get you to piss yourself on my cock again tonight. Yeah?”
Jongin nodded his head enthusiastically. “Like a dumb little untrained pet, yeah?”
“Pl-please, Hunnie,” he whined desperately, still agreeing with whatever Sehun was saying.
“Wanna taste it, doll? Wanna taste daddy?”
Jongin gasped, looking up because he knew Sehun wasn’t drunk and he only called himself that when he was wasted. Sehun smiled at his shocked face. He gently rubbed the head of his cock against Jongin’s wet lips and chuckled when Jongin’s mouth fell desperately open and his tongue darted out, tasting a little of the warm saltiness. “Pretty lips made for sucking cock, weren't they?” Sehun asked. “So thick and full. Want it, baby?”
Jongin gasped and choked, making little noises of desperation. His head was swimming again when he nodded and felt warm salty liquid coat his tongue, lips, and mouth. His eyes on Sehun the whole time, trying to let him know something. He was holding Jongin’s mouth open with his thumb so he couldn’t even swallow and when Sehun was finally done pissing, he slowly fed Jongin the length of his cock, fucking open his throat and forcing him to swallow the liquid. Jongin cried and tensed and twitched on the floor, his entire body hurting and he just let his head go lax in Sehun’s hands as he moved Jongin’s head and choked him with his cock. Jongin waited for the oxygen to come, trying to breathe through his nose, but his nose was stuffed from crying, he raised his hands to grab onto Sehun’s strong forearms around his head for support and for feeling intimate. Sehun shoved Jongin’s face against his pelvic and stopped thrusting for a second just so he could grab Jongin’s hands in his, lace their fingers together and put all four hands behind Jongin’s head again. Jongin’s tears intensified at the intimate way Sehun had decided to restrain him. It didn’t take that long from there for Sehun to finish in Jongin’s abused throat. With the final pulse of his cock, he slowly pulled out and Jongin collapsed against the wall and began violently coughing and sobbing. The sound echoed through the bathroom and made him feel worse because it was so gut-wrenching. He tried to curl in on himself so Sehun wouldn’t see him like this. The dark clouds had filled the entire space in his brain, he felt ugly and disgusting for the first time in a long time. No matter how much Sehun degraded him during sex, Jongin never felt unwanted and nasty but this time all he could think about was wanting to shrink in the old chipped tiles of the wall behind him.
Big arms wrapped around him and so softly hauled him up. Sehun held up his entire weight and turned the water on again and he rinsed Jongin so tenderly, so unlike sober Sehun. But Jongin didn’t have it in him to even wonder if his boyfriend was drunk.
“Here, gurgle some of this mouthwash for me?” They were out of the stall and in front of the sink. Jongin wasn’t sure how they got there but when he looked up he was greeted by the horrifying sight of himself in the mirror. Skin blotchy, eyes red and mouth swollen, hair a mess, he looked like something you find dead on the side of the road. He gasped and looked away and hid his face in his hands trying to kneel on the floor and ball up.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok, you’re ok, doll, shhhh,” he soothed and picked Jongin up in his arms bridal style and Jongin immediately covered his face until they got to the bed. Jongin quickly rolled away to ball himself up and hide himself.
“Nini, can I touch you?” He heard Sehun’s gentle voice and it made him cry even harder.
“D-don’t look at m-e,” he sobbed, his throat hurt and his voice barely came out.
“Why not, baby?” Sehun nuzzled a careful finger to his bare shoulder.
“Dis-disgusting… ‘m ugly and dirty a-and-”
“No, no, you’re none of those things. You’re gorgeous and pretty and so adorable, so good at making me feel good all of the time,” Sehun murmured against his shoulder, not fully touching him. “Is this because we did what we just did?
"H-hunnie, are you drunk?" He finally asked.
"No, I'm not drunk, doll, why?" He sounded puzzled. Jongin shook his head and curled in on himself more.
"I want to be alone," he rasped against the pillow. "Please."
"For… for how long, Nini? Are you sure? I don't—"
"Please, just go, Sehun. Just, I don't know, a few hours. I can't— I don't want to be seen right now," he sniffled.
"Ok, just, uhm," Sehun sounded terrified. "Can I get you some water before I leave? You need to drink something."
Jongin nodded his head.
Sehun left and came back quickly. Jongin heard rustling behind him near the drawer chest. "There's a glass of water and some gummy bears for you here, ok? It's the actual colorful bear ones you like. I picked them up for you today. You need something sweet, baby, just, eat some, ok? I'll be outside for a bit and then I'll be on the couch waiting for anything you might need."
When Jongin didn't move, Sehun sighed and walked away. Jongin heard the thick leather curtains of the sleeping area being closed shut and then he was all alone.
This is not the definition of happiness but I'll take it.
It rang in Jongin's ears.