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“Is that someone knocking at the door?” Finral asked.
“Nah,” Magna said as he dealt cards to Yami, then Vanessa. “It’s the wind.”
“Or the rain. Or the hailstones,” Luck added, taking his cards and cackling happily.
“No, guys. I think that’s a knock. I’m going to check.”
“You skip out now, you forfeit your hand, Finral,” Yami said and helped himself to the three candy buy in from Finral’s pile.
Finral flashed him a rude hand-speak sign, then went into the corridor to check the door.
Of all the things he expected to find on the doorstep, Langris was somewhere near the bottom of the list alongside the King of Clover, Nozel and the Witch Queen. Especially not Langris, soaking wet with wide eyes and breathing as though he had run from the Golden Dawn base.
"Langris?" Finral said in a low voice, when his brother did not speak. "Why are you here?"
"Oi. Finral," Yami yelled from the common room. "Close the damn door. You're letting all the heat out."
"Nah. He's letting the cold in," Magna’s voice replied. "I told you..."
Finral did not need to be caught up in this argument again. He grabbed Langris's arm and pulled him out of the downpour. "How long have you been out there?"
Langris did not answer.
"Who is it?" Yami shouted as Finral closed the heavy door. "Tell them we're not interested in buying their shit."
"Wrong number... house. It's fine. I dealt with it," Finral shouted back as he tugged Langris away from the common room.
"Dealt with it like you did the last time? You don't invite salespeople inside and offer them drinks. Even if they're pretty."
"It's fine. It's sorted. I'm... I'm going upstairs. Tired. Long day. Wow. Is that the time? Right, goodnight, everyone."
He was shoving Langris through a portal to his room as he heard Luck say, "He knows it's lunchtime, doesn't he?" Finral missed any reply as he followed Langris.
His room was small, lopsided and scattered with books and discarded clothes. Finral had never thought to consider what it might look like from Langris's point of view, because he had honestly never imagined that Langris would be in it. With the mismatched furniture that he had scrounged from other rooms in the hideout, handmade gifts from his squad mates and the comforter that Vanessa had sewn, he felt the comparison with Langris's spacious and tidy Golden Dawn rooms more acutely than he had before. This room was about as far from Langris's as it was possible to be. Finral felt himself blush, and began to apologise, "Sorry, sorry. I know it's not much and not what you're used to, but I figured you didn't want to see the others. I should have asked and..."
Langris pulled his arms around his chest and stared past Finral.
"Langris? Are you well?"
Still, Langris ignored him. All the hairs on the back of Finral's neck were standing up. Something was wrong. But this was not Vannesa, who Finral could hug or drink wine with until she told him what was wrong. Or Yami, who responded to being needled into fessing up. Or Magna who did best with a trip home, or Luck who wanted to win in a fight. This was Langris, and Finral had no idea how he was meant to handle him. His initial idea was a portal to Yuno or Mimosa who understood Langris better than anyone. But he hesitated, because Langris had not gone to Yuno or Mimosa, or even William. He had come to Finral.
When inspiration failed, Finral decided to fall back on the basics. "You should get out of those wet clothes. I'm sure I've got something that you can borrow. It might be a bit long, but at least you’ll be dry. I can help if you need me to."
Langris let Finral pull off his shirt and pants. He was shivering badly as Finral helped him into a pair of soft pyjamas that Vanessa had made. "You're frozen, you know. How long were you waiting outside? I barely heard the door, and there wasn't a portal since I got back. Where you out there longer than that? That's more than an hour, in a storm. Your fingers are blue, Langris. I should tell Yuno and Mimosa you're here..."
At last, Langris reacted. "No," he said in a hoarse voice. "No."
"But they're probably worried."
"No. Finral. Please."
Finral rested a hand on Langris's forehead. No fever, but he did not pull away either. "Well, okay. If you don't want me to, I won't. But they will be worried. I can tell them that you don't want to see them, but..."
"No."
"Okay," Finral said reluctantly. "If you're sure. You know you can stay here as long as you want. I might have to tell Yami, but..."
"Don't go. I... I made a mess. I'm sorry."
Finral tried to keep calm. Langris was apologising. This was bad. This was really bad.
"Well, I'm sure it's not as disastrous as you think. We'll get it sorted out, whatever it is. Unless you murdered someone, then I guess I probably should hand you over to the authorities. But Yami will be pretty much okay with anything else. I mean Gauche is on our squad and..."
The glare felt like a glimmer of the real Langris. Then the shivering got worse, so Finral bundled him onto the bed and wrapped him in Vanessa's comforter as he lit the small fire. It took longer than he would have liked because convenient fire mages usually did this stuff. By the time the blaze was burning brightly, Langris had cocooned himself under the blankets, but the shivering had not stopped.
"You're still too cold. I'm going to get you something warm to eat," Finral said. At Langris's panic, he reassured, "I'm not going anywhere. Do you want soup or tea?"
Langris did not reply, so when Finral opened the portal into the kitchen to lean through, he decided to fetch both. Charmy was sitting on a countertop and did not question why Finral would be asking for another bowl of chicken soup and a mug of tea when lunch had been half an hour ago. Although, as she was eating a pork chop and a chicken wing, perhaps it did not seem strange to her.
Finral helped Langris peel off the layers so that he could get his cold hands around the bowl of soup. "You could just drink it. That's how Charmy normally does it."
There was a spark of irritation, then Langris obeyed. He took a small sip, then another. The shivering began to abate as he finished the bowl. By the time it was empty, his colour was better.
"You know you can tell me what happened," Finral said as he took the bowl and put it through a portal into the kitchen sink. He decided to keep the tea for later. "I'll help. I would always help. The Bulls too, unless, well, you know you really did murder someone."
"I didn't murder anyone," Langris muttered.
"That's good," Finral said. He tried to keep the relief out of his voice. No one needed to know that he had been considering where to bury a body, and which of the Bulls he could trust to help him with spades. "So, what is it?"
"Don't want to talk about it."
"Did you fight with Yuno or Mimosa?"
Langris shuddered and turned away. It looked almost like shame.
"Oh, Langris," Finral said. "I'm sure it’s not that bad. I mean, they know you, and if you said something rude, or well, difficult, they probably aren't too offended. It’s not like they've never met you."
"I didn't fight with them. It's... not that. It's... Never mind. I can't tell you. Can I stay here?"
"Sure. Always."
Langris pulled the blankets back around him and turned to face the wall. Finral did not say anything else.
Twenty minutes later, he might have assumed that his brother was asleep, but his shoulders were tense and his breathing harsh. The way his hands covered his ears when there was a knock at the door gave him away too. "I've gotta go see who that is," Finral said.
Langris curled into himself.
Rather than use the door, Finral opened a portal to the corridor beyond and stepped through. It was Yami. "That wasn't a salesperson, was it," he said. “Your brother decide to come for a visit?"
Finral nodded. "He was out in the rain and freezing, but he won’t tell me what’s wrong. I think he might be in trouble."
"Yuno and Mimosa are here. You should ask them."
"He didn't want me to tell them where he was."
"He's not doing a very good job of hiding from them, though, is he? He can make three different portals. Two of them are to Yuno and Mimosa and the third is to you. If he wasn't with them, where else was he gonna be?"
Finral had to concede that Yami made a good point. "Something freaked him out. I don't know why he came here and not to them."
"Maybe it's because they’re the ones that freaked him out. You should come talk to them. Only, they're upset, so be gentle."
"Yuno and Mimosa are upset too? What on earth happened?"
"We're hoping that they'll tell you. I'll stay out here and make sure your brother doesn’t steal shit. Go and speak to the Golden Dawn."
Finral nodded. He put his head through a portal back into his room so that he could say to Langris, "Yuno and Mimosa are here. I'm going to talk to them. I'll tell them to come back later or something. I'll work it out. But I won't let them speak to you if you aren't ready. Yami’s outside if you need anything."
"Go away, Finral."
"That's kinda rude, Langris. You're in my room. I'll be back in a minute. Don't go anywhere."
Finral took the stairs instead of a portal to give himself time to collect his thoughts. He had no idea what was going on beyond his brother being more distressed than at any time since they were children and that the two people he loved might have been responsible. It did not make any sense. Whatever had happened, though, Finral knew he was going to try to make it right. He could not believe that Yuno and Mimosa would have hurt Langris deliberately. Or that Langris would wanted to have hurt them.
The pair were sitting together on the least wine-stained sofa in the otherwise empty common room. Mimosa's face was wet with tears, while Yuno was pale and miserable. It was almost a relief to Finral. Whatever had sent Langris running had upset them as well. He squared his shoulders. Time to be a big brother and get this sorted out.
"Finral," Mimosa said when she saw him. She jumped up from the sofa and threw herself into his arms. "Finral. Tell him we're sorry. We didn't mean it. Please."
"Oh." Finral took a moment to collect himself, then wrapped the sobbing girl into his arms and patted her back. "Yeah. Okay. We'll work it out, Mimosa."
"We didn't mean to upset him. We weren't thinking. We're sorry."
Finral glanced up at Yuno, but he looked just as devastated. "Maybe you should tell me what happened?"
Yuno flushed pink, and Mimosa gave another sob, then pulled herself up to stand. "Of course."
With the unerring sense that Charmy used to tell when refreshments were needed, she appeared at the door with a wheeled trolley piled high with cakes and tea. She handed out plates to Finral, Mimosa and Yuno, refusing to take no for an answer from either of the guests. Finral knew better than to resist. When she left, Finral made the Golden Dawn knights drink and eat before they talked. Charmy's food helped stressed out people.
"So," Finral said eventually, "who wants to start?"
Yuno glanced at Mimosa, then said in a low voice. "There was a fight."
Mimosa nodded but did not add anything.
It was going to be one of those confessions that needed prompting. Finral was used to the Black Bulls who would not stop talking once they started, so that their words piled over the top of each other in a race to get out the deepest secrets first. These two were different. They felt guilty, Finral guessed. "Okay. So, there was a fight. Which of you was fighting with him?"
Mimosa's eyes grew very large, and she shook her head even as she ducked behind her teacup. Yuno answered. "No. Langris wasn't fighting. We were."
"You weren't fighting with Langris?"
"No. We were having a... disagreement." Yuno looked at Mimosa, and swallowed as though gathering his courage. "My mother was writing to me. She wants me to visit. I..." he trailed off.
Mimosa took his hand. "I told you that you should visit her, without thinking about how that would make you feel," she said. "I might have been a little intense about it."
"You were," Yuno said with a small smile. "But then, I was as loud at telling you no."
Finral tried to image the scene. Mimosa, who was one of the kindest, calmest people that he knew, but with the Vermillion determination, having a yelling match with Yuno, who may be quiet spoken, but had the same bull-headed stubbornness as his brother. It sounded like the rock meeting the hard place, with all the destruction that might be expected to cause. Somehow, Langris had been caught in the crossfire.
"We didn't even know that he was listening. Neither of us heard the door open, but we felt the portal. He left the food he was bringing in for lunch, and he was gone."
"We calmed down," Mimosa continued. "And we knew we'd upset him. He doesn't make portals unless he has to, and then when he didn't come back, we guessed he'd be here. We want to tell him that we're sorry, and we'll try not to do it again."
"If he doesn't want to see us, then we won't force him." Yuno glared at Mimosa.
Mimosa looked rebellious, and Finral imagined that she would much rather march upstairs and kidnap Langris. But the wisdom of Yuno's words was inescapable. "I won't force him," she repeated. "But tell him that we miss him. We want to make it better."
"Even if we don't understand," Yuno finished.
They both stared at Finral as if he had the answers that they lacked. And, he mused, he did.
"So, umm," he began, then paused and restarted, "I guess I could give him a message, if you want."
"We aren't fighting any more. We worked it out," Yuno said.
"I don't think that was really the problem." Finral told them.
"Can you explain it to us? I mean, I get that it’s a fucked up Vaude thing, because your parents are bastards and even Silas is a bit messed up and he's the most normal of the lot of you. But we know that Langris doesn't mind shouting. Training can get pretty loud, and he's worked with you guys and you’re even louder. So, it isn't just the noise."
"No," Finral agreed. "It isn't the noise. Well, it is a little bit, but I guess I should try to explain. You can tell him that I told you, but you've got to promise to come to my funeral if he decides to kill me."
Mimosa and Yuno nodded. Finral was not sure if he should be reassured or offended that neither thought Langris killing him was unlikely enough to warrant a comment.
"So, you're right. It isn't just the shouting, and it is definitely a 'fucked up Vaude thing.'" He studied his fingernails for a moment as he considered how to start. He had never explained this to anyone before. Admittedly he had never had reason to before now. "When we were young, things could be, well, I guess now I know they are messed up, but it was all we knew so it felt normal. It was always important that when we had visitors that things were respectable. Everything had to be perfect, skilful magic, polite, well-mannered noble children. The betrothal to Finesse was always in their mind, and if we did anything to jeopardise that, then," he shrugged, "I'm sure you can guess."
"You were punished," Yuno said, because of course he would never be content with skirting the issue.
"Yeah. You've seen the scars?"
Yuno nodded. Mimosa shook her head.
"So, as I said, you can imagine. We had to be perfect, and I'm, well, not perfect..."
Mimosa jumped off the chair and wrapped him in another hug. "You are. You mustn't think like that anymore, should he, Yuno?"
Yuno said, "What she said," in response to her appeal, which was more support than Finral had expected.
"Yuno," she said and slapped his arm.
"Hey, no, it's okay. I get it," Finral protested before they could bicker more. Mimosa sat beside him. "I wasn't ever going to be perfect enough for them, even if I had wanted to be. I mean, even Langris was never enough for them. But he tried. I think he might have tried to be perfect for both of us, but that didn't work. Every time we made a misstep or failed, when the visitors were gone, one of us would be called into the drawing room, and..."
Finral paused again. He had only ever told Vanessa about the drawing room once and that had been after two bottles of wine. Even then, he had never confessed to the worst part. But Yuno and Mimosa deserved to understand.
"Our bedroom was above the drawing room. Everything that went on in there, we could hear through the fireplace. Our parents were never quiet about their displeasure once the visitors left. Liliane could yell. She would say terrible things, like how useless we were, how we would fail the family and that we were a drain if we couldn't repay their attention and love. It would have been better if we were never born, we should have been smothered in the crib. That sort of stuff." He ignored Yuno and Mimosa's looks of horror. "She was bad enough, but if my father had a drink in him, then that was always worse. There was a belt in the drawer of his desk with a metal clasp on the end and he would..."
Finral swallowed. His throat felt very dry. Mimosa handed him a lukewarm cup of tea that he drank gratefully. He was relieved that neither of them spoke. "You can imagine what my father did. I don't need to give you any more detail. But the belt isn't the point. Whatever happened to one of us, the other one could hear every word. And because it was usually me who had been a disappointment, it was Langris upstairs, listening to everything our parents said and did. For a long time, I wanted so much to be in that bedroom, away from the belt and the yelling. Until, one day, I was.
"It was worse than being hurt by that belt, or the awful things that Liliane said. I could hear it, and I couldn't do anything but listen. It was the most powerless I ever felt, and that house knew how to make us feel powerless. I knew then that I would rather be in the drawing room with my parents yelling than listening to it from our room. I think, perhaps, Langris felt the same, and he was alone in that bedroom far more than I was.
"Do you know, I wonder if it was one of the reasons we became what we are now. I listened to Langris being yelled at and hurt and I thought it would have been easier if he had deserved it. He didn't. Neither of us did. But, sometimes I think, maybe that's how Langris survived. If he could convince himself that I deserved it, then perhaps he could live with what he heard. It's... It's why I don't blame him. I think I would have done the same." Finral paused, then rephrased. "I know I would have done the same."
There was silence. Yuno and Mimosa were both pale and wide eyed. Finral gave them what he hoped was a reassuring smile and a gentle pat on Mimosa's arm. "You mustn't feel too bad. It wasn't your fault he panicked. In fact, it probably means that he's let down some of the walls that he made to survive, well, 'fucked up Vaude things'. I'm sure he just needs a bit of time to remember that if you were shouting, it wasn't like it was back then. He loves you both very much."
"Yes," said a quiet voice from the doorway. "I do."
"Langris," Mimosa, Yuno and Finral said together.
He was standing in the doorway in Finral's pyjamas, rolled up at the ankle and wrists. His hair was unruly after being wet and he had the comforter clutched around his shoulders. Captain Yami loomed at his shoulder in such a familiar way that Finral's heart felt like it was bursting. Yami was offering his protection to Langris if he wanted it, the same way he would have to any of the Bulls.
No one moved.
Langris only had eyes for Yuno and Mimosa. "I... I overreacted. I'm sorry," he whispered eventually.
"Oh, Langris," Mimosa said as she gave up the pretence of restraint. She ran across the room to wrap Langris in her arms. For a moment, he stiffened. Yami stepped forward in preparation to pull her away, but after a breath, Langris relaxed into her embrace. Mimosa gripped him harder. "You don't have to apologise. It wasn't you. We shouldn't have been fighting. It was a stupid argument, and we promise to discuss things like proper grown-ups the next time. We're so, so sorry." She was crying again.
Gingerly, Langris lifted his arms, and wrapped them around her. It was a little awkward with the comforter, but Mimosa leant into him more. Yuno had also come closer, and Mimosa grabbed him with a free hand to pull him into the hug too. Any tension that was left in Langris evaporated now that Yuno was also tangled in their arms.
"Now," Mimosa said, with voice thick with tears. "Finral told us things, and you must promise not to kill him, because he was doing it for your own good. We understand a little of why you reacted the way you did. But it doesn't matter if we understood or not. We love you. Very much."
"What she said," Yuno muttered. But no one was fooled. His voice cracked with emotion.
Finral watched them with a burst of pride in his brother and his partners. He had worried about Langris's lack of social connection for years, and known, despite everyone else's protests, that he was far more damaged by their parents that Finral was. And now, here was Langris crying into the arms of two wonderful people that loved him. Finral forgave himself the small tear that came to the corner of his eye, and flashed Yami a small grin. Their work was done. Mimosa and Yuno could finish off what Finral had started.
"Hey, Finral. Where are you going?" Yuno asked. Mimosa and Langris looked up at him too.
"Umm... well, seeing as things seem to be going okay here, I don't think you need me, and I could..."
Yami barked out a laugh as Langris muttered, "Stupid, Finral." He got a whack on the arm for that from Mimosa.
"What Langris is trying to say," she said. "Is that he came to you when he was upset, and he would like you to stay, seeing as this is your living room and not ours."
"He needs to know where you are, and that you're safe and not with your parents," Yuno added. "It helps when he gets sucked into his head."
Langris sighed but did not object.
"If you're sure. And you think it would be okay?"
Langris tutted. "Just do what they say," he said. "It's easier in the long run."
"Because we are usually right, aren't we, dear." Mimosa planted a chaste kiss on Langris's cheek, followed by the same from Yuno.
"Well, damn. I'm not staying if there is going to be kissing," Yami grumbled. "Think I'll go and find Vanessa and the wine. And when I come back, the kissing better be finished, understand."
Finral flushed. "Yes, sir. No kissing."
It was not missed on anyone that the other three made no such promise.
By the time Yami returned with wine, glasses, and half of the Black Bulls in tow, Langris was snuggled under the comforter, on the comfiest, but more wine-stained sofa. He was leaning into Yuno, with Mimosa tucked into his other side as they listened to Finral's version of their last dungeon exploration. Finral hardly needed to embellish the tale of evil bandits, rescued princesses and priceless artefacts recovered, lost, then recovered again. Luck delightedly took up the end of the story because he was the one who lost artefacts for a second time, and the princess the first time. He did the actions, while Magna was dragged into playing the part of the princess.
It was loud and raucous as Vanessa filled glasses with wine or juice according to everyone's preference. Charmy brought more cakes on her tea trolley. Asta challenged Yuno, which Yuno declined with a wave at Langris tucked alongside, so Asta had to satisfy himself with Grey-as-Yuno for his sit-up competition. Magna and Luck's stage show moved onto the next tale, this one with additional pyrotechnics.
Under the cover of the commotion, Yami said to Finral in a low voice, "You guys ever decide you want your parents to pay for what they did, you tell me, okay. Me and Vangeance'll do it. No witnesses, no mess. We already worked out the details. Just say the word."
Normally, Finral would have objected to the suggestion. He didn't need Yami and William, or anyone, to teach his parents a lesson. He and Langris were out of Tota and surrounded by people who loved them. Things were better now. But even with the Bulls in full family-mode, the memory loomed large of those nights listening to Liliane screaming and the sound of a metal belt buckle connecting with flesh.
"Thanks, Yami," he said.
The impromptu party rolled into dinner time, with a Charmy-speciality buffet set up on the back tables of the common room. Mimosa and Yuno fetched plates of Langris's favourites that he picked at from under the comforter. Finral did not miss the way that Langris watched as he moved around the room, so he slipped into old habits and stayed in sight without making it too obvious. He guessed that Mimosa and Yuno noticed, as they never made any suggestion of returning to their own accommodation as night fell.
Perhaps Asta also noticed, as he declared loudly to Yuno, "Hey, you guys should stay the night. We can have a sleepover with mattresses and blankets, and have tatoe s'mores and tell stories like we used to in Hage."
"We wouldn't want to impose..." Mimosa started to say, after a moment of hesitation. Not an outright 'no'.
"Hey, Golden Dawn," Yami interrupted. "You wouldn't be imposing. Julius always wanted us to try out some inter-squad bonding shit. We could call it that and claim it on expenses. Although, if you make me eat tatoe s’mores, I will kill you, Asta."
Asta ignored the death threat and cheered as he organised Luck and Gordon to find mattresses, Magna to oversee the fire, and Finral to be in charge of 'something in this room, that can't be managed by anyone else,' when he ran out of creative ideas for why Finral needed to stay where Langris could see him. Asta was observant, but not the most imaginative.
Langris fell asleep even before the last of the mattresses were arranged. His nose was pink, and he sounded a little wheezy, probably from standing in the rain for hours. Mimosa cast a healing spell that the Bulls undoubtably felt but ignored in favour of the ghost story that Zora had been harassed into telling.
Mimosa pulled Finral into their corner of the sofa, then arranged him so that he was tucked under Langris's feet, while she sat on a large cushion on the floor.
"He has nightmares," Yuno whispered under cover of Zora's dramatic voice acting. "We never figured that having you near might help."
Finral felt his eyes become wet with tears. "Thank you," he whispered. "He's lucky to have you."
Mimosa shook her head while Yuno replied, "We're lucky to have him. Thank you for being there today. We should have known it wasn't just the noise." He waved a hand at the bulls, who were getting involved in audience participation at increasing volumes, while Langris slept.
"Thank you for sharing what you did," Mimosa said, and kissed Finral gently on the cheek. "It must have been hard. We appreciate it."
"What she said," Yuno murmured. “And did.”
Finral smiled and settled back to let the sleepover wash over him.
And, if, in the small hours when nearly everyone was asleep or in their own rooms, Langris whimpered as he was caught in a nightmare, only Yuno, Mimosa and Finral knew how quickly he went back to sleep when they whispered his name and reminded him that he was where he was meant to be.