Chapter Text
I. Breathe
In the slow world of dream,
We breathe in unison.
The outside dies within,
And she knows all I am.
—Theodore Roethke, section 1 of “Memory,” The Collected Poems of Theodore Roethke (Doubleday, 1975)
“…I think I let myself get carried away and talked for far too long.”
—Cynthia to the player at Celestic Ruins, Pokémon Diamond and Pearl
There were times when Cynthia felt like she was the only person left in the world.
Which wasn’t true, of course. She knew this. But as Cynthia stood in the dark living room of Steven’s home, the clock nearing four in the morning, surrounded by sleek glass and black marble and polished steel, contemplating through the tall panoramic windows that displayed the generous view of the island expanse before her, observing the stars shimmering along the grand dome of the night sky, and seeing in the far distance, along the broad horizon, the boundless and profound depths of the Hoenn oceans that seemed to extend into infinity… this feeling washed over her now.
She couldn’t help but realize that Mossdeep City was so, so far away from the rest of the Hoenn region, at the exact opposite end of Rustboro City, in fact; and despite Mossdeep City being a city, it felt less like a city and more like a secluded island. Yes, there was that cluster of city buildings huddled together closer to the shore and harbor, their collective lights pooling in soft gold and bronze, consisting of the city’s pokémon center, the official gym, several upscale shops and fine-dining restaurants, and even a couple of quiet, five-star resorts. There were, too, local residencies, though most were private homes scattered intermittently around the island, Steven’s home being one of them. Still, the nightlife here was muted, even unobtrusive, for the city strove for utmost silence during their nights: minimal lights and minimal urban din were customary and compulsory. And it was in this way that Cynthia felt that there was almost a sweet sadness to the seeming isolation.
Cynthia guessed it had to be this way anyhow: Mossdeep’s central attraction was their esteemed Mossdeep Space Center, one of the world’s leading space programs in cutting-edge aeronautics and space research. Such a prestigious program required the least possible sonic and visual disturbances. It was only natural that this be the proper city etiquette towards their multi-billion dollar scientific enterprise. It was, most importantly, the city’s raison d’être. Any fame and fortune it had gained were due to the brilliant minds of the foremost physicists and engineers and astronomers and cosmologists, working hard as they sought to learn more about the astonishing, exhilarating universe beyond their humble earth… How they were at the helm of reaching the edge of the universe, and the inevitable solitude that came with the burden of every beautiful secret they unraveled about it…
“You’re daydreaming again, my dear,” Steven said gently, coming from behind Cynthia and wrapping his arms around her slender waist. She was so mysterious and so fascinating, but this was especially true when he saw that her eyes wandered off to a place beyond his reach, lost in thought. He could never guess what she was thinking about during these moments, and he knew it would be futile to attempt it. So he always asked her instead. “What are you thinking about?”
Cynthia sighed, content at Steven’s embrace and placing her hands over his. “Nothing much. I’m merely in wonder about this city.” She leaned back into Steven, relaxed, and felt his hard, rugged chest against her back.
“Mm…” Steven leaned forward in turn, his lips close to her ear. He breathed in the scent of her perfume by her neck, a sultry blend of light florals and white musk. “Explain that.”
“Well,” Cynthia began, “I was just thinking about this city… It feels so alone here.”
Steven paused, curious about Cynthia’s words. “Alone?”
“This island city is so far away from the rest of Hoenn, don’t you think? And yet in its isolation, there is such incredible beauty here. The world’s most brilliant scientists are gathered here, constantly working to learn more about the universe. I find that so amazing, how it all can seem so lonely yet be so terribly connected to the rest of the world… It almost makes me feel a little lonely.”
It was a beautiful thought, Steven realized. Of course such a thought would emerge from Cynthia’s beautiful mind. At that, Steven embraced Cynthia a little more tightly.
“I certainly hope you don’t feel lonely,” Steven murmured. “I would be very concerned if you did.”
Cynthia smiled, feeling the warmth of Steven’s words. “I almost do, but I don’t. In the end, I think it’s a wonder in and of itself.”
“I see.” Steven paused for a moment before continuing. Then: “Would you like to know what I’m in wonder of?”
Cynthia turned her head back to face Steven, a silent gesture that prodded him to continue. “Hm?”
Steven’s voice was a murmur. “You.”
With that, Steven let a hand trail down to her thighs, his touch gentle and suggestive. Cynthia gasped softly in response when his hand pressed through the silk fold between her thighs, and Steven chuckled, low and breathy, at her reaction. Cynthia lightly squeezed his forearm still around her waist, then stilled herself as she regained her balance standing. For a moment, she was lightheaded at the sensation of his hand down there. But she didn’t need to worry, as Steven had read her mind. “Don’t worry, dear. I have you.”
Cynthia shuddered, loosening her grip on Steven’s forearm. It was a vulnerable and precarious moment. She knew he would always be there to catch her. His grip on her was reliable and sturdy, this was sure proof of it. Yet there was always this irrational fear springing from the depths of her subconscious, such that she hesitated that she could even trust herself at times. Would she be able to recognize her own danger before it was too late?
Even if that were true, Steven will always be there… right?
Before fully grasping it, she felt Steven’s lips gently kiss the sensitive spot just under her ear. Cynthia let out a moan at that, and Steven, taking it as a sign of encouragement, traced his lips along her neck, stopping just at her shoulders, nipping tenderly and carefully at her skin there.
Steven let go of her briefly, letting silence hang in the air. He wanted to be sure that Cynthia had had the space to absorb the moment. He never liked to rush her, never wanted her to feel as though she were forced too quickly into intimate moments like these. He wanted her to feel as though they, and especially she herself, had all the time in the world, alone to themselves, to be patient and forgiving with each other.
Cynthia noticed that Steven had paused in his advances. This, she knew from their previously shared moments of intimacy, was his unspoken way of asking for further permission to have her. For a moment, Cynthia marveled at her lover, her heart warm at his gesture. He could be so forward without apology, coming from behind her in the way that he always did— a permanent habit of his that he delighted in. It was almost possessive because Cynthia was always caught by surprise at his presence, as though he came out of the shadows. And yet, even then, before he took just one step too far, he waited for her, attentive and understanding. Underneath that apparent possessiveness was his firm and steadfast desire to ensure her physical and emotional safety. And with this in mind, Cynthia tilted her head back slightly, exposing her neck a little bit more, and whispered to Steven, “Let’s begin.”
Then, Steven moved. He turned Cynthia towards him, his grip on her waist secure, and before she could gasp, he pressed his lips into hers. When he pulled away, he felt her body weaken under his embrace, and to this, he relented his pressure against her just slightly. He motioned that they move to his bedroom for privacy — the living room’s grand panoramic windows, though tinted, were nonetheless too much at the risk of prying eyes — and Cynthia followed silently, her hand in his, shivering in the wake of his kiss.
When the door to his bedroom closed with a click, Steven was quick to toss his dinner jacket to the floor. Cynthia had no time to react — Steven would not allow her to — and he pulled her towards him, embracing her again and giving her a deeper kiss, Cynthia moaning exquisitely as she did so. When he finished, he moved his hands up her shoulders to tug at the thin straps of her ebony slip dress, indicating that he wanted it off. Cynthia helped Steven loosen the straps, the dress falling to the floor in a pool of silk. He enjoyed the sight of Cynthia almost undone, letting his hands roam over her back before coming back to the front and running them over her flat stomach. Even through the darkness of his bedroom, Steven saw that Cynthia flushed at his touches.
Pleased by her reaction, he lowered one hand to her waist, tugging, again, at the black lace lingerie by her hips. After pulling them just halfway down, he let his hand trail towards the small of her back, his fingers dipping further down and slipping underneath the remaining lingerie. They teased at the supple flesh between her legs, and when he softly prodded them open, Cynthia let out a sharp gasp. His fingers gave just one soft stroke inside her, and Steven realized she was slick and ready. At that, he led the both of them to the bed, pushing Cynthia gently onto her back. Her pale body and golden hair were stark against the cool pewter-grey of his bedsheets. He would not enter her right away, for he wanted to delay their pleasures, but his fingers briefly inside her did stir his own desire. It almost made him dizzy.
Steven leaned over Cynthia, kissing her deeply once more as his hands moved behind her back, seeking to unclasp her bra. When he felt Cynthia’s mouth push tensely against his, he released her, knowing she needed air. As she inhaled, Steven successfully freed her breasts. Eager to feel his chest against hers, he unfastened his white button-down with swift fingers, revealing his broad shoulders and well-built torso. Cynthia lifted her hands in response, shyly trailing them across his impressive build— for a moment, she had the thought that Steven was more than capable of protecting her.
I am safe, she thought.
Steven was swift to undress the rest of his clothes. He swooped down to kiss her again, interrupting Cynthia in the midst of another breath, one hand cupping a breast as the other stripped away the rest of the lingerie on her thighs. When Cynthia moaned for air again, he moved his lips along her jawline instead, proceeding to that tender spot near the base of her neck. She writhed under him, alive in her desire, her moans and gasps quick and eager. He pinned her down further, relishing her cries when he took her breasts into his mouth and lapped at her hardened nipples. As he did, he felt Cynthia’s hands grasp his head towards her, locking him into her embrace. Her need for him intensified.
He worked his hands downwards, massaging her buttocks before diving down to lick into her. Cynthia squirmed further under his tongue, clutching at the bedsheets as her pleasure escalated. Steven suppressed an amused chuckle as he pushed his lips deeper into her— how he so enjoyed having her under his mouth, tormenting her as she drowned further into her own desire. She tasted like the ocean, the briny tang tingling against his mouth. When she could no longer take it, Cynthia cried out Steven’s name in a breathless burst of longing. He rose above her, overwhelmed by his own desire now, his sex hardened and ready.
A wave of proud pleasure swept into him as he saw Cynthia almost ruined beneath him, her eyes glossy and half-closed. She panted, her erect breasts rising and falling, and she glowed, her cheeks rosy. Steven was at the edge of losing himself at the sight of her like this, but he would never lose control of himself— he refused to. He came down to her again, his face meeting hers, steel blue eyes catching pearl grey eyes, and he planted one more kiss on her lips, this one affectionate and kind. He angled his sex between her legs, letting them enjoy the rising heat between their legs while he stalled their mutual pleasure.
Just before Cynthia cried out Steven’s name once more, he plunged into her, his first thrust slow and steady, careful to watch Cynthia’s reaction. Her eyes closed as she took him inside her, her mouth gasping, inhaling, exhaling, and he filled her entirely, stretching her consciousness beyond her capacity. The rush of pleasure bloomed between them, and emboldened at their growing rapture, Steven buried his face into her neck, his mouth panting against Cynthia’s décolletage, his thrusts harder and faster. Cynthia dug her nails into Steven’s back, desperate to hold onto him. At last, they soared in their shared ecstasy, groaning — he came in her perfectly, she received him in his full glory — their bodies pulsing in primitive euphoria. In that moment, they were alone, but they were alone together.
Their pleasure soon evaporated, and they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Steven pulled himself out of Cynthia, placing gentle and soft kisses along her neck, her breasts, and her stomach as he did so. He shifted himself to recline on his side, his elbow bent and propping his head up with a hand, watching his naked lover catch her breaths, eyes closed in rest. His free hand meandered along Cynthia’s silk-smooth skin, pausing every once in a while to admire a bodily feature— her relaxing nipples, the fine curve of her waist, that delicate mouth of hers still gasping for air. Cynthia was a wonder, indeed.
Steven let the peaceful silence continue, content at merely watching her. Then, when Cynthia finally opened her eyes, she turned her head to meet Steven’s gaze.
“How are you feeling, my dear?” Steven’s voice was hushed, husky.
Cynthia released a luxurious sigh of satisfaction. She lifted a hand to caress his jawline briefly. “I feel amazing. That was riveting.”
Steven chuckled. “Very good.”
Another peaceful silence passed through, the two lovers languid, enjoying each other’s presence.
“Did you enjoy our date tonight?” Steven began again.
“It was breathtaking,” Cynthia admitted. “I have never seen meteor showers so clearly as I had this evening.”
“You were so excited,” Steven added. He remembered that only a couple of hours earlier, at the edge of the cliffs surrounding the Mossdeep beaches, Cynthia sat with her head up, transfixed by the glinting streaks of iridescent light. “It was as though you weren’t on earth anymore…”
Cynthia smiled curiously, raising her eyebrows as she did so.
“And once we started walking back here,” Steven continued, his face leaning closer to hers now, “I felt you were elsewhere.” Of course, she was by his side the entire walk back. In fact, they were walking arm in arm. But whenever Cynthia was lost in thought, he could feel her awareness wandering away, as though she wasn’t by his side, despite being so physically close…
“You’re not afraid that I’m not giving you any attention, are you?” Cynthia asked, blinking.
“No. Not at all.” Steven exhaled. “My concern for you is different.” Here, Steven lifted his free hand and gripped the side of her face firmly, kindly. “I worry that you lose yourself a little too much at times…”
Cynthia paused, considering Steven’s words.
“Your beautiful mind speaks in the ancient languages of myth and symbols,” Steven continued. “You get so lost in them when you do your research, so driven by your ambition to understand them. I see it in your eyes. It was the same this evening when you gazed up at the stars. I’m afraid that you might fall if you ascend too high.”
Cynthia was quiet before speaking. “You’re here to catch me if I do fall, love.”
Steven kissed her forehead. “Of course.”
Cynthia turned to lean on her side now, her naked body meeting his. She embraced him tightly with closed eyes, inhaling his strong, musky scent and burrowing her face into his chest. If she flew too far into the aether, he would be there, always behind her, his arms ready to rescue her. If she was the endless sky, then he was her only earth.
“Don’t forget to breathe, love,” Steven whispered into her ear.
Cynthia breathed, and then, she felt as though the entire weight of the skies had lifted itself off of her. She was here with Steven, the only person in the world who could understand her as deeply as he did.
The two lovers lay there. It occurred to Cynthia, then, that she didn’t have to feel that she was the only person left in the world. Steven’s uninhibited desire proved that for her: he had taken her, wholly, absolutely, bringing her back to earth, grounding her to safety and stability. At the very least, if she felt that she was alone in the world, that would only be half the truth. Rather, it was more correct to say that they — herself and Steven — were perhaps the only people left in the world. And in that way, she wasn’t really alone at all, because she had Steven. No, she wasn’t really alone at all…
Suddenly exhausted at her lover’s wild and unfettered lovemaking, she felt the oncoming sweep of somnolence over herself. Yawning once, the images of their shared night blurred in her mind as a mirage— Steven’s understated and minimalist home, the ever-expanding view of the panorama in his living room, the glittering stars like diamonds in the sky, those ethereal streaks of light — those heartbreakingly beautiful meteors, forever ephemeral — and the view in the far distance, in the broad horizon, the boundless and profound depths of oceans, almost like a perfect mirror of the sky in its infinity…
As Cynthia slid fully into sleep, she clasped her arms around Steven tightly again, unwilling to let him go. Steven returned her embrace, gently adjusting to slip the both of them under the bedsheets, soon to join her in her sleep.