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"Explain to me again how soaking ourselves in a cistern is the best way to hide from assassins," Dorian hissed at Zevran quietly. Even his low voice seemed to echo loudly through the stone corridor.
Leliana had sent the Antivan to foil an assassination plot she'd uncovered. But since his arrival, Dorian had spent far more time narrowly avoiding death than he had being saved from it. Most recently, he'd spent the last hour or so running through the streets of Vyrantium at night after his palanquin had been attacked. His so-called protector had eventually pulled both of them into an open cistern where they now stood chest-deep in cold water, waiting for… something. Dorian wasn't sure how one was supposed to tell if assassins were still chasing you or not, but at this point, he was simply hoping they wouldn't have to spend all night in here.
"I certainly wouldn't think to look for you in here," Zevran responded casually, doing his best to keep his voice soft. "What kind of magister would hide in a cistern? It's not very magisterial, is it?"
Dorian gave him a sour look.
"You're not a very good bodyguard, are you?"
Water splashed as Zevran brought his hand to his chest as if wounded.
"Surely you cannot mean that, my friend. Have I not defended your wellbeing valiantly?"
Dorian took a deep breath through his teeth as the elf finally managed to hit his very last nerve.
"In the last month, I have been poisoned, shot at with arrows, had a woman attempt to garrotte me with a clothesline, and have had not one but two demons sent to me in bottles of wine. And now, after running for my life from yet another attack, you drag me down here, for who knows how long, where I am freezing and… and… wet !"
He tried controlling his voice as much as possible, but he'd definitely been too loud. If the assassins did find them down here, Dorian did not look forward to needing to fight them while wading through someone's drinking water.
"Yes, well, if you recall, I did manage to eliminate most of the perpetrators in those attacks. Also, you are very much still alive. Considering my skills lie more in killing than in saving, I would say I'm doing quite well."
Dorian groaned in frustration and wiped his hand across his face.
"Come now, my friend," Zevran, putting a hand on Dorian's shoulder. "Such a beautiful man should not look so depressed."
Dorian looked down at Zevran's hand and then back at the man.
"Must you do that?" Dorian asked, more defeated than anything.
"Do what?" Zevran responded, all innocence.
If being a poor bodyguard weren't bad enough, the man was an incorrigible flirt. It was charming at first. But then Dorian realized that he did it with quite literally everyone. Granted, Dorian had a tendency to do the same, but he at least had the decency not to look at all of his flirt-ees as if he were ready to jump on top of them right then and there. There had been more than a few times in the past month where Dorian had needed to picture distinctly non-sexual things, such as Corypheus or his great aunt Cordelia, in an attempt to cool himself down after one of Zevran's more enticing innuendos. In most situations, the chilly water they were currently submerged in should have been all he needed, but now Zevran was touching him...
"That," Dorian said, gesturing to all of Zevran. "The flirting and the touches and the... Implications."
Zevran's smile became suddenly predatory as he stepped closer to Dorian.
"And which implications would those be?" he asked.
Dorian took a small step back from him.
"You know very well what I'm talking about," he said, trying not to look directly at Zevran's rather stunning amber eyes but also trying not to look as if he were not looking. "The flirting."
"Ha," Zevran said, his smile turning genuine for a moment. He took another step toward Dorian. "You flirt better than I do most times, which is saying something, considering I'm Antivan. They teach us the art as children, you know."
"Yes," Dorian said, taking another step back. How did someone nearly a head shorter than him manage to feel so intimidating? "But at least I have the decency not to imply that it's something more than flirting."
"Ah, but what if it is something more than flirting? I would think that you would want to imply that, no? For decency's sake?"
Zevran put his hand on Dorian's chest, moving his shirt slightly so that a finger brushed over his bare skin. Dorian shivered. The water was quite cold.
Dorian went to take another step back, but his heel hit a wall behind him, and he realized he'd put himself between a rock and a hard place. He tried not to consider which one was the hard place…
"One would think," he said weakly, "that if it was something… more… that after a month of–"
Dorian cut off sharply as a voice echoed through the cistern.
"Check in here!"
Before Dorian could react, Zevran grabbed his shirt and pulled him under the water. Dorian's heart raced as he floated there beneath the surface, Zevran practically on top of him. He could feel panic begin to rise. Between the attempt on his life, Zevran being… Zevran… and now possibly being found out, he found himself at some limit he hadn't realized he'd had. He was going to need to jump out of the water. He didn't have enough air. His chest was tight, and he could barely see and–
Zevran's lips crushing into his should have been a shock. And it was. But rather than making him even more eager to shoot out of the water, they seemed to have the opposite effect. The kiss was passionate and warm, and he needed more of it. He felt Zevran's legs wrap around his waist, and Dorian pulled him closer. They floated there for… he wasn't sure how long. But all Dorian could feel was Zevran's lips pushing at his own. His tongue slipped through the barrier of his lips, and Dorian found himself trying to navigate, holding his breath as his mouth filled with chill water and Zevran's very needy tongue.
Eventually, there was no putting it off. Dorian had to push himself up, out of the water. A difficult task considering that Zevran was still attached to him. He sucked in air with a gasp while a barely out-of-breath Zevran smiled down at him. They both just stared at each other for a moment. Dorian was listening intently for whoever they'd heard a moment ago. Zevran didn't seem to care all that much if a group of assassins was currently making their way towards them. He truly was a horrible bodyguard.
"I don't hear anyone," Dorian said, his eyes still trained on Zevran's.
"That is quite the shame," he said with his predatory smile. "They are going to miss an outstanding show."
Zevran leaned back down to press his lips against Dorian's again.
