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The sun was bleeding into the Detroit skyline when she first felt it. The first jolt happened as she was walking down the stairs with a basket of the boys’ laundry. For a second, Beth convinced herself she just tripped. But then the shaking got a lot harder. And it lasted.
It wiped her completely off her feet with a rough land on her tailbone. Stunned, she rushed herself under the edge of the kitchen island.
Picture frames fell off the walls, the glass splintering the faces of those she cherished. The lights above her were violently swaying threateningly. She didn’t know what to do. There hadn’t been an earthquake in Michigan in decades. Did earthquakes even happen in Michigan ever? How could she have been prepared for this?
The lights went out and the shaking stopped. Beth couldn’t bring herself to get off the ground yet. She could still feel the shaking inside herself.
For a moment it was quiet. Silent.
And then the sirens started. It seemed that every ambulance in the city decided to turn on that sound at the same time. Beth got up and stood in the middle of her house, shocked still. Her brain hadn’t quite caught up to the present yet.
She stood up and walked outside to the front of the house. Many of her neighbors were also standing on their front porches; holding onto their loved ones as they looked up and down the street, trying to find answers from the dark sky. But all they could hear were choppers above, and all they could see were cracks in the blacktop pavement of their street.
The sun set minutes before Beth noticed it was getting dark and she should maybe not be outside alone right now.
As she walked back inside, Beth went over to her emergency kit; which had fallen to the floor from where it usually sat atop the shelf in the laundry room.
Oh right, laundry. Beth thought.
That was what she was doing a couple minutes ago. The basket she was holding before was spilled out all over the stairs. Danny’s buzz lightyear light up pajamas began to glow in the dark hallway.
She found the flashlight after she finally was able to get her hands to stop shaking to unzip the bag. She also found a wind up radio in there as well and brought it over to the kitchen counter. This proved to be one good result of all the useless crap Dean would end up bringing home for the kids. They never liked any of it enough to keep for more than a few days, and then it was her responsibility to find a space to put it.
Beth had to mess with a few of the buttons after she wound up enough energy but she eventually got it to a channel that seemed to have some sort of broadcast. The static was heavy.
At this moment we ask people to not panic. We are still not sure of what we are dealing with.
Dealing with? Beth thought. Wasn’t this just an earthquake? It was just a freak natural disaster. The feeling inside herself that still left Beth almost shaking, knew that it wasn’t.
As of now we understand that an earthquake of, well we do not know the magnitude, it was too large. As I was saying. As of now, the joltes were felt from the California coast all the way to the capitol. We have received intel from multiple national leaders from across the globe of other disasters of this capacity. While we understand the worry many of you have, rest assured that we-
The radio began to slowly get quieter then stopped. Oh shit. Beth was able to wind it up fast enough before it fully shut off, much to her right arm’s protests.
Oh wait a minute. I'm hearing that, I'm hearing that Japan any minute now is expecting a tidal wave of extreme size. Scientists are expecting the blow to be absolutely catastrophic. The entire country is attempting to evacuate.
The static became overbearing. Beth couldn’t hear enough to fully understand the next part. She flipped the stations. All as hard to understand as the next.
The President has been put somewhere safe. Russia is in total lockdown--rain looks almost black--we aren’t sure if--thousands of people dead in the streets--the air is thinning--as of now we aren’t sure if it is spreading--inside, don't leave your--America, God Bless us all
The static took over.
Beth took a deep breath in. And as hard as she tried on the exhale, she broke. She started completely shaking, silent tears made their way out of her eyes. She didn’t know what to do. The world was, it was in chaos. And she was alone, and she was scared. Her children were hundreds of miles away with Dean at his mother’s in Toronto. Ruby was probably home with Stan and the kids. Annie had Ben this weekend, so at least she was the only one alone.
Beth started pacing. Chest heaving, mind running in circles. Beth couldn’t stop thinking about everyone she loved. She was so worried and she had no way to find out if they were okay. She tried her cellphone ages ago. It seemed the towers were down. Or maybe just overloaded.
She somehow made her way outside on the back porch. And she just sat there for a while, staring out at the backyard. It made her think of all the times the kids would run around out there. But as she looked over at the picnic table her thoughts shifted. Her kids weren’t the only ones who would sit at that table.
Beth remembered all the times staring out her kitchen window to see him just sitting there. Waiting for her to notice him. To then come out and swallow her nervousness away and ignore the chill his look gave her and pretended it was the nip of Michigan weather.
Despite the fact that she ended it because her kids were just too important, despite the fact that she walked away after their second misstep in judgment, despite the fact that he was a dangerous gangbanger, (well actually more like the leader of a top criminal organization spreading over the Canadian border), despite the fact that he gave her no reason to think that he cares, Beth thought about him. Well actually more than that, she was worried.
Is he ok? Did he feel the earthquake? Is he hurt? Is he all alone too? Is he with his son? Beth with this new stream of thoughts became even more worked up. She shouldn’t be thinking of him, she knows that. All of her focus should be making sure her babies are okay. But there is nothing she can do, except sit there staring at the picnic table secretly wishing they would all appear.
When Beth went back inside she made herself some food; standing at the kitchen island, tasting nothing, just making sure it made its way down her throat. It was pretty cold at night so she didn’t think the food in the fridge would go bad too fast. At least that’s a plus.
Beth went over and grabbed her expensive bottle of bourbon; the bottle that she found in Rio’s storage unit. No time like the present, might as well.
She briefly thought it would be appropriate if he were there to drink it with her. She forced herself to leave the thought alone. She was by herself, and that was okay. She could handle this. She could handle this because she had to handle this. She was okay.
After her first bourbon she was settling down. Or maybe it was the second. Regardless, it gave her a sliver of the warmth she craved. While she sipped on her next one, she actually tried to savor the flavor.
She’s stretched out over the couch, resting her head on the back with her eyes closed as she hears a click in the kitchen. But Beth didn’t think anything of it. With the house so quiet she was able to just listen to the world around her. The sirens seemed to have calmed down from earlier. And she tried to appreciate the quiet even if her mind kept trying to turn up in volume.
But when she heard a stumbling and then a quiet oh shit she was immediately alert. Before she could even start thinking about who the hell could be breaking into her broken home, she saw him quickly pushing himself from off the ground. It seems that Rio had slipped on the broken glass of water that fell earlier, which she hadn’t gotten motivated enough to pick it up yet.
He stood to his full height, quickly putting back on his stoic face, even though she could see that his hand was bleeding and had a few shards of glass in it. As she looked at him she could tell there was a different set to his shoulders than usual. His eyes had a sheen to them she wasn’t sure if she had seen before. It wasn’t the cut, it was well…well honestly she wasn’t sure.
He didn’t say anything. Usually when he appeared he would. Getting her to jump out of her skin and her heart to skip a beat. She thought she was starting to finally get used to it. Fighting a smile each time he managed to sneak up on her. But things had changed.
This time, Beth walked away. Not looking back at him. She grabbed the first aid kit from under the kitchen sink. She started taking out the tweezers and some alcohol.
He walked over, staying around the other side of the counter. Looking at her, he sat down in one of the stools. Beth slowly walked around finding herself right in front of him.
She didn’t grab for his hand so he laid it out on the counter beside them. Beth shook her head and looked away. A small scoff left her lips that sounded more like an exhale of air. For some reason, at this moment, it felt too strange to hold his gaze. The world was一it was in utter chaos. There was no reason for him to be here. The game between them, his business, the world, felt so far away. Beth still didn’t feel as if the ground she was standing on was real. The FBI, the money, it was the farthest thing from important to her right now. Even if the important things were out of reach, that was what she would focus on.
She wondered if he felt the same. But why else would he be there?
Then, Beth grabbed his hand. He didn’t push her away. Slowly at first, she began taking out the shattered glass. At least with this keeping her busy she didn’t have to look at him.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice broke the silence between them but the quiet was still thick. He was still looking at her. She didn’t think he ever stopped from earlier. But Beth thought it best to not jest about his staring.
As she took out one of the last shards of glass he let out a sudden exhale, but other than that he was still showing no reactions. Beth poured the alcohol over his hand.
“Rio.” She was a little louder this time. “What are you doing here?”
He managed to bring his lip up into the curve of a grin.
“Why? What you thinkin’ mami, just in the neighborhood.” But they both knew that wasn’t true. That wasn’t why he said it anyways. His own attempt at his normal smugness managed to make him look away from Beth. He stretched out his jaw while looking past her. Down at the floor where the still raw evidence of the day laid. Seeing the spillage of laundry down the stairs, and also down the hallway, the same one they both headed down together that last time he was there.
He brought his eyes back to Beth. “He has em, yeah?” Beth’s eyes were still on his hand that she had a hold of. At this point she was cleaning a clean wound. He didn’t need stitches or anything. Maybe just a band-aid. She nodded but then lifted her eyes back to him. “Marcus with his mama too.” Beth nodded. She backed away from him signaling she was finally done. She had been for a while.
“I'm sorry,” she said. He knew she was just saying it because there was nothing else to say, or do about it for the matter. Just how he couldn’t say or do anything about her kids. They both had to deal.
Rio grabbed a bandage atop the counter and put it on as Beth walked back to the couch. She grabbed the bottle of bourbon she had been drinking and held it up raising an eyebrow. He stood up and grabbed a glass for himself. Surprisingly, all of them were still intact.
She walked over to him and leaned against the counter after setting the bottle atop it so Rio could pour his own drink. That’s when he recognized the exact bottle of bourbon she had been drinking. It made him grin. His eyes lightened up how they usually were.
“This a good bottle of liquor mami, whoever gave it to ya must have good taste.” That made her smile. Even though it technically signified how he stole everything back from her, she couldn’t deny it was impressive. And thinking back to how things were before made the pit in her stomach lighten, even if only a little. She nodded and finished off her glass.
“Yeah don’t think I should tell him though, don’t want him letting it get to his head. That man's ego.” She made a gesture with her hands and let out a laugh. Rio raised an eyebrow clearly amused and moved away from the counter to stand next to her.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Well that's too bad, I think he probably already knows though yeah?” Beth nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, probably.”
Beth poured herself another one, but capped the bottle. Probably just to give her hands something to do. Rio was slowly tapping his fingers on the counter behind him. Both of them enjoying this new moment of comfortable silence that didn’t feel so disorienting.
“The sirens stopped. The ambulances, police, they stopped showing up.” Beth turned back around to look at him, for a moment confused. “My Tio always said that’s when you know.”
“Know what?” Asking even though she already knew.
“That it’s big... serious.” Rio sighed. His arm reached up to the back of his neck and looked down to his feet. “That things might not ever go back the same.”
“And what do you think?” Beth hoped for a different answer than the one she knew she was going to get. Because she felt it. How bad things were, and she thinks everyone else could too.
“I saw the news before the lights went out--”
“--I listened to the radio.” He was looking at her again. Nodded.
“It ain’t good. There is a lot of stuff going on一more we don’t know about.” Rio knew he would usually just come out and say it. Just say Nah, it’s over , but the way she was looking at him, and honestly the way saying it would make him feel stopped.
Beth leaned over the counter and put her face in her hands. She let out a big sigh and he could see the set of tension in her shoulders. He tried not to pay attention to the new view of her behind. She was wearing black leggings and he couldn’t help to notice how well they shaped her womanly figure. Crisis or not.
“Yeah me too.” Beth was still staring at the marble countertop. “I felt it, I can still feel it.” She waits a second. She tries to talk herself out of saying it but she can’t find a reason to hold it back. “I’m scared.”
Beth rises up back to her full height and slowly turns back to Rio. She can’t quite figure him out. He looks like he always does but almost as if the barrier he always carried was thinner than normal. He didn’t feel as intimidating as he usually did. She wondered if he had his gun. It wouldn’t bother her if he did. To be honest it probably hadn’t bothered her as much as it should have for a while.
Beth started to leave Rio in the kitchen so she could sit down on the sofa. And as she was walking away she heard a quiet mumble reach her ears, that if it had to take shape would spell out, me too.
He was quick to follow her.
So there they sat, both turned inwards towards one another. Simply looking. Doing what they usually did while they let the tension boil up. This was something they knew, the feelings something they could expect. But it wasn’t. Because she ended it. She ended it because it didn’t ever mean anything. It was just an itch. And they scratched it. So no matter the comfort she felt from having him right next to her, no matter how she was so glad she was no longer alone, that he actually appeared. It didn’t mean anything.
“Rio.” One of his eyebrows shot up. She said his name. Again. “What are you doing here?” He shrugged, setting down the glass he brought over. “You can’t just, you can’t just…” Beth didn’t know what she was trying to say. “With everything going on, with the way things...the last time you were...it doesn’t make sense. Why are you here? I don’t understand. You can’t possibly be thinking business during all of this--”
“Elizabeth.” He had put her arms back gently to her sides. She had been flailing. His voice was soft.
“What?” She looked confused.
“I just did. Didn’t think about it too much honestly but I was thinking about-” He really saw her then. Blue eyes shining in all of the emotion from her day, looking at him, the moonlight shining behind her from through the windows. It was dark in there still. No power. “Just thinking, probably not too logically, but before I know it I’m leaving my car to walk 6 blocks to that rickety ass picnic table you got out back.”
Beth was still looking at him. She was calm. Just listening.
“Was about to convince myself to leave too, but--” He shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t really have that much of an explanation for himself either.
He seemed almost hesitant at that moment. Beth realized he actually looked like a person. Not some persona, not some character he made sure he played enough into. He was just looking at her. Not expectant, not ready to spin anything he had against her. This was new territory for both of them. Because even if he didn’t say it, there was a reason he came over. And there was a reason he was included in the list of people she was worried about. And no matter how much either of them wanted to write this up as just a scratched itch, that isn’t something you venture across town for when the whole world is on fire.
Beth didn’t really notice when it happened but she found herself leaning into him. Her body was so attuned with his that it fell into his rhythm without her knowing. He had moved a bit closer at some point too. The heat of his thigh radiating her whole body from where it was almost touching her curled up legs.
“But?” A whisper leaving her lips. But he heard it. Oh he heard it.
And then he was leaning in too. Eyes locked into her eyes so hard she wanted to look away. It was too much. But she needed it. She needed---Her breath caught in her throat. His lips turned up in a small smile which brushed up against hers from the motion. She could feel the heat of his breath on her and his smell. She was drowning in it. She felt like he was stealing her oxygen so she did the only thing that made sense and leaned the rest of the way in.
At first it was gentle. Like they were both scared the other was going to pull away at any moment and didn’t want to scare the other off. Relaxing into the proximity of the other. His lips were slightly chapped but they felt like absolute heaven against her own. It sent a tingle down her body, the feeling she always felt with him when they gave into the spark that never failed to overwhelm her. She worried sometimes it would never go away. But she worried a lot more that it would.
Beth all of a sudden became desperate, she needed this. She needed it--she needed it because it was him. She bit his lower lip which caused him to quickly inhale. Fastly regaining control of the situation he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her body right against him. He growled, biting hers hard in return causing a small groan to escape her mouth, giving him a perfect opportunity to sneak his tongue into her hers and brush up against her own.
She was grasping onto his neck, holding him close. Her thumbs digging into the edges of his tattoo. She pulled back, chest heaving from the lack of air. She realized he was just out of air as she was.
Needing to look away from him for a second, the intensity in his eyes too much, she focused on where her hands were. And then began laying kisses down his throat.
As the brush of her lips continued its assault on his throat, Rio held back a shudder. His hands moved to play with the hair at the nape of her neck while the other was grasped onto her hip in an attempt of maintaining control.
When her tongue began tracing the edges of his tattoo he was no longer able to hold back his reaction any longer.
“Elizabeth.” She hummed. Responding by beginning to softly nip and bite at his skin. She moaned at the taste. It was one of unbridled passion. Or maybe it was just him.
Rio was getting frustrated. She could tell, but damn if that would stop her.
At this point she was basically sitting in his lap. She kept going.
“Elizabeth.” Rio felt as if she was testing his patience. That time she looked up at him eyes wide.
“Rio,” and with only his name leaving her lips you could tell how affected she was as well.
He looked right back at her, grabbing her face and pulling it to his. Beth swore she could get lost in those eyes. And she didn’t realize he was already lost in hers.
They sat there for a second, forehead to forehead, just trying to catch their breath again.
“Are you sure?” He looked adamant for an answer. She nodded. But, he needed more than that. He closed his eyes and swallowed.
“I’ll go, just tell me to一”
“Don’t go.” She squeezed her hands harder where they had been resting on his neck. Her eyes welled with emotion. Rio wasn’t ready for that response.
And then she kissed him. It was a soft kiss. One that didn’t fit this situation at all. It was filled with emotion that they weren’t supposed to have. But it seemed they were both over with notions of what was right and wrong at this point. They needed this.
When she pulled back Rio thought how could she ever be so beautiful.
“I won’t.” And he didn’t.
...
It was late. The darkness outside seemed as if it was almost starting to lighten. But Beth still couldn’t sleep. She was tired. No, she was exhausted. This day felt like it had pushed her to her knees and beat her while she was down. But she couldn’t sleep. Even in the arms of the man she denied she needed for so long, she couldn’t sleep. It was all too much. She wanted him. She knew that. But all Beth could think about was their past being able to destroy them. And how their present, their reality, it was--there wasn’t enough time. But for now, she would lay there. Head laying on his chest, listening to his heart beat, hoping it could be louder than all the thoughts and the voices.
Rio was so quiet and still Beth would have sworn he passed out as soon as they dragged themselves higher up the bed and under the sheets. So she was startled when he spoke.
“Why?”
Beth lifted her head to look at him. How he swallowed the word as soon as he said it. Eyes still closed, not opening under her scrutiny. And whether it was how soft he said it, or how he had glanced at the hallway earlier, or even at the bed and nightstand as she had been peeling off her jeans not too long ago, she knew what he meant.
…
Beth still couldn’t believe Dean would give her an ultimatum. Especially when it came to her children. They were her babies, no one could take them away from her. Maybe part of her understands it, everything she had been doing the past few months has been dangerous...but she won’t ever forgive him for it. It seems like Dean does pretty well at doing the unforgivable.
She had stashed herself away for so long. For him. For twenty years she played the perfect wife. And now when she had finally reclaimed herself, and her wants, she had to give them up. Again.
So when she found herself driving to their bar “without” his cut, she tried to convince herself she deserved it. Deserved this. One more scratch and she would be satisfied.
Rio looked almost amused on top of his mask that he always wore to keep him guarded. She didn’t plan on offering him a sandwich, she was just nervous. Beth didn’t have much experience in subtly propositioning a violent crime boss, or really anyone for the matter. So when he followed her to her bedroom she still felt like she had no idea what she was doing.
He smiled at her mismatched socks.
She first went pink from blushing in embarrassment, but the color soon flushed all over when she saw the look in his eyes follow her body as she shed her coat.
“What am I doing here, Elizabeth?”
When her lips first brushed against his she felt hesitant. But that feeling soon escaped her when he pulled her closer. His lips felt like everything she imagined and more. All the times where she fantasized about them all over her, driving her mad. She felt drunk on his mouth. Beth wrapped her arms around him as he pulled her bottom lip into his own mouth with surprising desperation.
Beth swore with him on top of her, both of them fully bare for the first time, that it felt like this was how things were supposed to be.
She felt him worship her skin, with his hands and his mouth. Nibbling on her collarbone while caressing the sides of her breasts. All while she held onto his back holding him against her so there wasn’t any space left between them.
Beth almost forgot what it felt like, the pure euphoria when he took the last step to fully connect them. He rested his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. If her breath didn’t already leave her, the way she felt him breathing into her mouth as he looked at her like that , would have taken all the breath out of her lungs.
She let herself soak in the feel of his skin against hers as they both were catching their breath. Beth wished she didn’t have to be the first to let go. So if she stayed a minute or two longer than she should have, well no one had to know.
“I'm going to take a shower, you should leave.” She felt herself swallowing back an emotion she wasn’t exactly sure what to call.
“I’m done. This is over.”
She put his cut on the bedside table, and turned around. She ignored the thought of how she had just cheapened the moment. A moment she wouldn’t ever forget, no matter how much the longing might beg her to.
She couldn’t get herself to look back. So she didn’t see the way Rio inhaled and looked like he had to swallow a bitter taste left in his mouth. She didn’t see the way his eyes went back to their normal black orbs of intimidation. She didn’t hear the sigh he let out when she turned the water on.
And well, he didn’t hear how she waited until she heard the door shut, so she could let the sobs escape out of her and disappear down the drain.
...
When she had told him it was over. She didn’t think it meant anything to him. Well she hoped it didn’t. Well, at least part of her did.
It made things less complicated. Losing the money was something Beth could handle, but losing the possibility of….something more. No, it was easier if he didn’t care. And he said she was just business. So that’s what it was. Two business partners indulging in some fluke tension. Nothing more.
But now, laying in the same bed, wrapped in his arms, Beth doesn’t think either of them can convince themselves that’s what this is now.
With the world slowly dying around them, and everyone they love so far away, Beth couldn’t figure out the point of pretending anymore. And the way he still held on to her even though he was still waiting for her reply, showed he probably thought the same.
Beth was tired of lying. So she answered him.
“It was you or my kids,” Rio opened his eyes. Beth didn’t look away from his gaze, instead she pulled her hand out from under him and began to slowly trace up his chest. “I didn’t see any other option, and no matter how much I wanted…” He reached up to push some of her hair behind her ear, she was focused on tracing the lines of his chest with her finger. “The money, the dealership, Dean just couldn’t handle you being such a part of it all,” She got kind of quiet to the point she was almost whispering. “I needed my kids, they were all I ever had, I can’t not choose them.” Beth had to push away the worry she still had about them. There was still nothing she could do.
She looked back up to him, his gaze on her relaxed. She had been tracing the area above his heart for a while but decided to venture up. Beth thought he might push her hand away but as she began to lightly trace the lines up his neck leading to his jawline, he simply let her. Enjoying the sensation of her soft skin against his.
As she began to lightly smooth her finger over the shape of his top lip he responded.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” She didn’t know what she expected from him. But not exactly that. She pulled back her hand.
He shrugged with a grin forming on his lips as he straightened up more on the headboard.
“I mean, I've always been knowin’ car man was an idiot, surprised he actually had the balls to do somethin.”
Beth doesn’t know what to say to that, so she just echoes him.
“Okay.”
“Come on ma, let's go to sleep, yeah?”
She didn’t realize it but a little bit of the weight that was keeping her up before was gone. So they both settled back into their sleeping positions. Her back against his chest, one of his arms wrapped around her, his face nestled into the back of her neck. I could get used to this, she thought. She really could.
When Beth finally woke up they were basically in the exact same position they were in last night. Except somehow Rio managed to get the sheet wrapped around his leg that was now entertwined with hers. It got hot with all the body heat, especially without the ceiling fan working anymore.
Gosh she needed some water. And to brush her teeth, her mouth tasted rank. But, when she tried to pull herself from Rio’s grip he just pulled her against him tighter.
He groaned into the back of her neck.
“Uuuhhhh it’s too early. Sleep.” Beth almost giggled. So, not a morning person. Noted.
“Actually it’s almost eleven.” They had actually probably gotten only 6 hours of sleep but Beth hadn’t stayed in bed this late since probably the few months after Jane had been born. “I need to get up.” But when he said:
“Five more minutes.” She couldn’t find it within herself to argue. So she relaxed back into the feel of him wrapped around her. She hadn’t been touched like this for a long time. Her and Dean weren’t big cuddlers, even in the beginning when things were good. The closest she had to this was when Annie would sleep with her on some of her rough nights. So she would enjoy it.
But then she felt something she definitely didn’t feel when Annie would be the big spoon. Even if he wasn’t, a very prominent part of him was very much up and ready for the day.
They were both still bare from the night before, and with him pressed up right against her, it was now very hard to try to ignore. So if she snuggled backwards into him, and ended up grinding against him for a few seconds, was it really her fault?
Rio was quick to respond. Putting both of his hands against her hips, keeping her against him. Beth stopped moving when the butterflies in her stomach became too much. He had begun to kiss down her neck and over her shoulder blades, pressing himself harder against her.
“What do you think you're doing, darlin?” His voice was even lower than it normally was, the roughness from sleep not totally gone yet. Beth didn’t know if she could handle it.
“Nothing.” Her mind wasn’t working enough to come up with another response. “We should...” He resumed kissing the back of her neck. “We should get up.”
“Oh come on ma, we got nowhere to be.” Beth really didn’t know why she was fighting him.
“But I’m sore.” She whined, trying to get some space between them. He didn’t let her get far but she was able to turn herself around so now they were facing each other. He wrapped his free arm around her. He didn’t like her so far away.
“We both know that ain’t a complaint Elizabeth.” Before she was even able to respond he moved above her and began kissing down her torso, down the valley of her breasts, his hands coming up to rub the soft skin. He lifted his lips into a small grin and spoke into her skin. “But if you need me to, I can make you forget.”
Beth laughed despite how amazing he was making her feel.
“You are insatiable.” She smiled at him.
“Nah, it’s just you.” When he said that he looked up at her. Her blue eyes were wide from her smile, all of her curves exposed and under his fingertips, she was literally glowing from the morning light shining on them through the window. He couldn’t believe she was this beautiful.
For a second Rio thought he had won. She let him resume his trail of kisses down her torso, but then she pulled him back up again, and then bit her lip.
“But I’m hungry.” The way she said it made it sound like she was so defeated, it made Rio laugh. He trailed his eyes down her body making sure she followed his gaze to where he had been headed to before she stopped him.
“I know, so am I.” She actually pushed him off her this time. She made her way over to the back of the bathroom door and wrapped her floral silk robe around her. Beth saw him lying there wrapped in her sheets, pouting. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was leaving his grasp or covering herself up. Probably both.
“Come on, let’s go eat some breakfast.” She started walking towards the door as Rio was pulling on his boxers, mumbling something under his breath.
“That’s what I was trying to do.” She heard him, but was already halfway out the door and didn’t want him to see the blush making its way back to her cheeks.
Beth began taking out the ingredients for blueberry pancakes because...why not? For a moment she wasn’t sure if he had followed her but then she felt his gaze following her around the room. Bending over to grab the pan, opening the drawers for a mixing spoon...everything she did she could feel his eyes linger. He was so focused on her it made her skin rise in little goosebumps, even this faint whisper of his presence felt like he was actually touching her.
When she finally looked up at him he looked totally nonchalant and relaxed. He was leaning against the counter, naked in nothing but his black boxers, looking nothing but relaxed while the harsh brightness of daylight shone through every window from every angle of the house.
He looked amazing.
His caramel skin seemed to glow in the natural light, his tattoo outlined and prominent at the forefront of his neck. His whole body was lean and lithe but it held strength and muscle you wouldn’t believe was there until you got to see underneath his layers. Well physical ones…
Beth didn’t realize she had become frozen in action, totally enraptured by him, until she drew her eyes up to his face which was sporting a smirk that showed his total amusement in her checking him out.
“See somethin’ you like mami?”
Beth quickly looked away trying to fight the blush that seemed to pop up way too often around him. Pointedly ignoring him she cleared her throat and responded.
“Pancakes okay?”
His eyes rose up from her chest, the exposed skin still flushed pink. And then he pulled his lip into his mouth as he reached her eyes.
“Mmmhmm”
After that she decided it was easier to just pretend he wasn’t there. She almost managed to do it too while she made the batter, began heating up the pan, and pulled the blueberries out of the fridge...but then he was there right behind her. His chest was covering her entire back and arms wrapped around her middle. He had to slightly lean down to rest his head on her shoulder.
For a second she froze, because even though they had just done whatever they just did...for some reason here in her kitchen, the gentleness still managed to surprise her. But after a moment she let herself melt into the feeling. Her and Dean never had done these kinds of things. Casual intimacies. Just enjoying the feeling of each other. No motives. No expectations. It was nice.
“You know you're going to have to let me move right?” She strained her eyes to the side trying to look at him.
“I’m not stoppin’ you.”
She raised her eyebrow and began walking to the stove ready to pour the batter like that. And he didn’t let her go. He waddled behind her, never letting her escape his arms. And they just stayed like that. Standing there together wrapped up in each other, making pancakes. Rio helped flip them. Beth giggled when he did one too high and he missed the pan. He wasn’t amused by how long it took her to stop laughing.
They went on the rest of the day like that. Enjoying each other’s presence. Ignoring their reality for as long as they could. There was a moment when Beth broke. Walking past the doorways and seeing the kids' spare coats. Before Rio could reach her she moved past him and went straight to her bathroom. She needed a moment. She slid down the door as soon as the door closed behind her.
She doesn’t think she will ever be able to process this. And she cried for longer than she thought she ever had before. She wished for a lot of things at that moment. She prayed. And then she forced herself to stop or she would never be able to get up off the ground ever again.
When she came back out, as collected as she could, Rio was outside. He was sitting on their bench looking at the treehouse. She thought it would be funny to tell him about Boomer. Could try to lighten the mood, go back to the light atmosphere they were somehow able to hide in together. But then she noticed the tremble in his shoulders. One she knows herself all too well. And decided to leave him be.
He only came in when it began to rain, the water smelled like sulfur. She closed the windows. They pretended they didn’t smell it. She was knitting on the couch when he came back to her. Immediately he forced himself into her space. With only a few adjustments to how she was holding the needles to accommodate him, she continued. She wondered briefly if he was going to make them talk about it.
“My abuela would always knit when I was kid.” Beth looked over at him. Still surprised by these small reveals about himself. “As much as I would watch her I could never get it down.”
The imagery of a young Rio intently watching his grandmother knit was one she found endlessly amusing. She smiled to herself.
“Admitting to something we aren’t good at are we?” Beth giggled. Then feigned seriousness.
Rio threw his head back and laughed. A real laugh, from deep in his chest.
“I'm still really good with my hands though aren’t I?”
And just to prove himself he squeezed her hip in the same place he had last night. Warmth is already spreading through her body from just a touch. She cleared her throat.
“I can teach you.” She offered. He nodded at her, his eyes open and soft.
“Alright mami, teach me.”
And they sat there together for hours knitting, talking, and just being together in their simple and easy silences. And perhaps also taking a few short breaks here and there for what Rio insisted was “beneficial for his understanding.”
The storm had made the day dark, even if the sun was still out there somewhere, so they used it as an ample excuse to go to bed early.
As Beth was changing she blurted something out before even realizing.
“I’m really glad you’re here.” Rio smirked at that. Already leaning against the headboard, stripped to his boxers. She discovered promptly that if it was up to him he would sleep and walk the house naked, but Beth promptly put a stop to that. Her heart could only handle so much.
“Oh is that right?” Well, she couldn’t back down now.
“Yeah, I was thinking about you.” He tracked her with his eyes as she moved towards the bed.
“Oh I bet you were thinking about me darlin.” His hand already shot out to unbutton her pajama top she just put on. “My bourbon get you all flustered like you are for me right now Elizabeth?”
“Oh my god shut up.” She pushed him away laughing. Maybe also a little embarrassed at how easy she blushes for him. Although by the look on his face, she knows he is nothing else but amused. She could have left it at that. Let this moment be another easy one. But for some reason she had to say it.
"I just didn't want to be alone.” She took a pause, trying to formulate what to say. “But it was more than that, I just kept imagining you there and I thought at least then I wouldn't be. That at least it would make things feel more normal."
They were laying side by side now. And as she was talking Rio took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb gently on her skin.
"Nothings normal between me and you Elizabeth." Looking straight at him now she nodded. They both knew that.
"I'm glad I came too."
Rio pressed his forehead against hers. Letting go of her hand in favor of wrapping his arm entirely around her. The feelings arising within him become hard to handle all of a sudden. Everything was so much. He had to close his eyes.
“Rio…” Beth whispered. “I-I…” Her eyes were welling with tears. She was struggling with keeping her voice from cracking. So he stopped her. He took her face in his hands and made sure she was really looking at him.
“I know darlin, I know.” And he kissed her. “Me too, Elizabeth.”
And so they laid there, holding each other so tightly as if they would fall apart without the other, as the sun went down under the Detroit skyline. And even if the sun wasn’t going to rise tomorrow, at least in this moment they were okay. At least, during their hardest and most fearful moments, they were never alone.