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The first term of the school year goes without any real turmoil. That’s the best Danny can ask for, he figures, because ‘no real turmoil’ is miles better than bullying and unease.
Danny moved to Truham at the start of year 10. Moving schools had never been in his plan, not really, but there wasn’t much else his parents could do to stop the bullying. He had been outed mid year 9 and, as is the case for boys in all-boys school in the south, Danny became the butt of the joke for pretty much the entire school. Obviously he had friends, two lads called Peter and Kian, but that didn’t really do much to stop the constant harassment from his peers. After one particularly disappointing meeting with the headmaster, Danny’s parents decided that there was nothing left to do but transfer Danny to a different school.
And that’s how he ended up at Truham.
So, yeah, the first term was alright. He ended up joining a group of lads who were willing to bring him into their dynamic. It was fine, he supposed, so long as he kept his sexuality a secret. Lay low, don’t make a fuss and don’t put too much attention on yourself. That had become Danny’s motto.
This worked well. Surprisingly well, in fact. Nobody was none the wiser and Danny was just fine being just another closet case. His new mates spouted out homophobic jokes on the regular (away from the prying eyes and ears of headboy Charlie Spring, one of the only two out lads at the school) which made Danny admittedly uncomfortable but, hey, who is he to complain?
The intrigue starts on the first day after the Christmas holidays.
Danny walks down the relatively deserted hallway alone. School doesn’t start for another half an hour, but he has an essay due third and he hasn’t even touched it. He needs to get it done or else he’s due a detention, so he said bye to his dickhead friends early and took off for his form room to work in silence.
This was his plan initially, anyway, because he gets part way down the Maths corridor when he hears two voices.
“It’s the first day of term after Christmas, mon amour,” Voice #1 says, tagging the ‘mon amour’ on with a teasing tone. “It’s basically our anniversary.”
“Nick!” Voice #2 squeals, half-giggling. The second voice clears his throat with laughter still in him and there’s a millisecond of silence. “You’re just looking for a reason to snog before school.”
Voice #1– Nick– laughs loud and genuine. “Maybe I am. What are you going to do about it?”
“Not much,” admits Voice #1.
It occurs to Danny that the two voices are the voices of Nick Nelson and Charlie Spring.
That being Nick Nelson: captain of the rugby team, built like a damn ox but apparently has the general demeanour of a golden retriever. And Charlie Spring: head boy at Truham known mostly for being gay, a nerd and for being sent to a psychiatric hospital when he was in year 11 because he had an eating disorder. Such a mix of captain of the rugby team and head boy feels like the plot of a shitty y2k movie except a lot more gayer and apparently a lot less toxic.
You see, Nick and Charlie have a reputation about them. And who wouldn’t in their position? They’ve been together since Charlie was Danny’s age and are still going strong, they’re the only out same-sex couple at Truham with the only other couple being Tara Jones and Darcy Olssen over at Higgs and they are known by friends and peers for being overwhelmingly, disgustingly and unapologetically in love. You don’t even have to know them personally to know this, Danny himself being evidence for this, because they make it a point to be all over each other at all hours of the school day. They come to school together in Nick’s car, go to form together, sit together in form and at break and lunch then drive off home together again in Nick’s car.
It’s sort of amazing, really, how they’ve been together for so long without getting pissed off by default due to overexposure to the other and all of their flaws. It would be impossible to be that in love at any age unless they’re either having fantastic sex or they’re just unrealistically loving and compatible.
Likely a mix of both, honestly, because Danny’s pretty sure he’s listening in on the two sixth formers snogging under the staircase and that’s a bit rude of him so he should probably make his exit.
One would think that would be the end of it.
(Spoiler: it isn’t.)
It sort of becomes a thing. After the initial– ahem– eavesdrop incident, Danny just keeps seeing them everywhere.
He walks to class and walks past the open door of the art room one day and there’s a loud laugh from inside. Danny would never admit this, but he peaks in through the window of the class and there they are…
Nick and Charlie sit at the centre of the universe, a hub of thrumming energy. Charlie, perched on Nick’s lap as if it’s no big thing, energetically tells the boys surrounding them about some story from when he slept over at Nick’s the night before. As he does so, Nick flushes but doesn’t look at all embarrassed. In fact, he even looks slightly proud as he nuzzles deep into Charlie’s neck, the dark-haired teen seemingly instinctively bringing his hand up to scratch at Nick’s scalp in a way that makes the blond visibly melt with content. The craziest thing to Danny, though, is that nobody seems to care. There’s three lads Danny recognises from the rugby team just listening and replying as if the display of affection is no big deal as another boy, a quiet and bookish sort of lad, flips another page on his book and a boy in a beanie (is he even allowed to wear that beanie?) teases Nick lightheartedly for the story. It’s all a bit magical in a way– a weird sense of gay envy, if you will. They look so genuine and happy and confident in a way Danny could never imagine. Sure his parents try to be good allies, but outside of Peter and Kian he can’t bring himself to even fathom this sort of queer joy, this sort of normalicy in spite of it all. In spite of hatred, the odds… Even just being two dumb teens in love.
Danny can’t even imagine it, yet he’s watching it. It’s right here in front of him, but it doesn’t feel real. It feels like a mirage, a deluded hope of someone who has succumbed to the acceptance that he’s destined to be lonely and outcasted because he’d just rather hold a boy’s hand instead.
If Danny was to paint the scene as some sort of reflection of them, he’d draw two figure skating dancers. They never leave each other, always beautifully combined in some way that’s endlessly– timelessly– romantic and bathed in a soft pink spotlight. Or maybe there is no spotlight, maybe they themselves are creating the pink light to spill from them in an ethereal glow. There’s sparkle and a glimmering sheen that just makes everything fantastical and just… Lovely.
Is this too much? Danny isn’t sure. It’s just hard to look at Nick and Charlie (or maybe it’s Nick-and-Charlie at this point) and not feel overwhelmed by it all.
The next time Danny sees them, he’s wrestling with his locker. Lockers in English schools are so small and crap he can barely fit his textbooks in, never mind his PE kit. So as he attempts to somehow play the world’s worst game of Jenga with the entire contents of his locker to remove his PE bag, he overhears Nick and Charlie at an open locker.
“All I’m saying is that Tao should give it a chance,” Nick whines as the telltale sounds of Charlie digging through his locker overlap with his words.
“Well, you know how he is. I mean, remember how he was with you when you weren’t out? And when he and Elle were getting together, and-”
“Okay! Okay, yes, I get it. Tao’s a stubborn shit.”
“You love that stubborn shit, though.”
Nick huffs out a breath, but it’s clearly a playful show of annoyance rather than anything genuine. There’s a slam of a locker door, successfully getting Danny to peak over. From where he’s standing, he can’t see Charlie’s face because his entire body is facing towards Nick who’s on the other side of him. He can see Nick, though, who’s leaning against the locker, temple pressed against the cold, blue metal. The blond has a soft look on his face, and he’s not exactly sure what warrants it until.
“Love you more, though.”
Charlie shakes his head, curls bouncing a bit at the movement, but Nick pays no mind to it because he pulls Charlie in by the belt loops of his slacks before wrapping his arms loosely around Charlie’s waist. His hands rest on the small of his back and his thumbs draw circles into the fabric of his jumper as the other boy steps in closer.
Danny looks away.
“I know you do, dork,” Charlie replies with a light and playful tone.
“I still think Tao is missing out though.”
“Nick!” Charlie exclaims with a laugh. “Just face it, Tao is never going to let you watch a marvel movie. He likes underground movies and being pretentious. Marvel is neither of those things, I’m afraid.”
The elder of the two huffs again. “I’ll indoctrinate him. I swear it.”
“Sure you will, Nelson. Sure you will.”
Danny thinks it has to be a statistical anomaly that he keeps seeing them everywhere. Sure most of the time it’s just in passing; them walking past hand-in-hand in the hallway or sitting in Nick’s car; other times it’s just plain ridiculous.
It gets even worse when he starts seeing them outside of school, too.
Fumbles the dog was named quite unfortunately by Danny himself when he was six and stupid. He’s not sure what he was thinking when he named the family dog ‘Fumbles’ nor does he think he wants to know, but the name stuck despite its ridiculousness. But now Danny is forever cursed with the embarrassment of having to yell ‘Fumbles’ across the park when the Labrador gets a bit too excited to make friends and drags Danny’s skinny little body for a marathon to the latest stranger whether that be human, dog or otherwise.
This is the case when Fumbles goes absolutely apeshit at the sight of another dog at a park typically populated with– shock horror– dogs. One poor Border Collie becomes the latest victim of Fumbles’ unbridled love and affection, but to the dog’s credit it takes it rather well. Incredibly well, in fact, because the two dogs start playing almost immediately.
Huh. Go figure.
“Hey little guy,” Danny coos, reaching out hesitantly to pet the dog’s soft brown fur. The dog takes the pats gratefully, tail wagging and head leaning into ear scritches. “Where’s your owner?”
There’s no lead on the fluffy ball of joy, though it is sporting a red collar which tells Danny this probably isn’t a stray.
“Nellie!” yells a freakishly familiar voice.
“Nellie, there you are!” another, also freakishly familiar, voice exclaims.
Nick chuckles as he strides up to the dog, lead in hand and grinning lopsidedly. “There you are Nellie! You silly old girl.”
Danny blinks owlishly as Truham’s golden couple walks over leisurely. Unfazed by the absolute coincidence of the situation, in part because Danny’s the only one in on the coincidence but also because she’s a frgging dog, Nellie barks once as a greeting.
“Sorry about her,” Charlie says to Danny directly, a little pug on a lead. “She’s a lively old thing, aren’t you girl?”
Nellie, collar now secured with a lead, sidles up to Charlie as she realises that he is in fact there too.
“It’s fine,” Danny says half-breathlessly. Why does this oddly feel like meeting a celebrity?
Nick gives Fumbles a smile and a quick stroke. “We should head off, Char– hey. Aren’t you friends with Harry Greene’s little brother?”
“Uh- yeah. I am.”
This seems to be a bad answer, because the two sort of glaze over with some sort of second hand distrust, so Danny then adds: “Not really proud of it, though.”
It does the trick, because the two relax and Nick speaks up again. “Yeah, I get that. Word of advice from someone who used to be friends with Harry himself: it isn’t worth it.”
Danny knows. The brother in question, Lewis, is another Harry Greene in the making yet somehow more insufferable. Whereas Harry has notoriously calmed down from an apparent loud-mouthed streak of homophobia (thanks largely to him realising it wasn’t getting him attention anymore), Lewis never seemed to get the memo. Must be in the family.
There has been many occasions where Danny has experienced Lewis’ vast vocabulary of words he uses to describe gay people. None, of course, said around Nick and Charlie. Once again, their reputation (and popularity) precedes them. Not even Lewis Greene would dare tread on those eggshells.
Still, Danny nods wordlessly and the three part ways. He really tries to not freak out, honestly, he’s halfway worried the two are going to think he’s stalking them at this point.
It all kicks off in February.
As previously mentioned, there is a general discomfort in targeted harassment towards Nick and Charlie at Truham. Not out of a newfound appreciation for gay people at school, but moreso out of intimidation of the only two openly queer people at Truham. They have a fiercely loyal support system in both Truham and the sister school, Higgs, including the entire rugby team, their fiercely ally friends and a very scary sister on Charlie’s part. Not only that, but Nick has apparently decked Harry Greene for it and Charlie Spring is, well, the head boy… And who bullies the person who has an email chain with the headmaster? Needlessly to say, even the daftest and bravest of us wouldn’t pick such an impossible fight.
But that doesn’t mean the homophobia faded. It just learned to camouflage itself into the background in the hussle and the bustle of school corridors. No more is that true than with the people Danny finds himself surrounded with.
Nick and Charlie positively float by hand-in-hand with bright grins and loving eyes, their interlocked hands swinging between them leisurely as they chatter between themselves. They make the unfortunate mistake of passing Danny and his group’s picnic table, though they’re none the wiser of this as they disappear off into the school.
“God,” huffs Lewis. “I can’t believe queers run the school.”
“People are just weird like that these days, though, innit?” Callum replies with a shrug.
In a rare show of confidence, Danny speaks up. “C’mon, guys… They’re not doing anything wrong.”
“They are, though!” Lewis insists. “I ain’t trying to be homophobic or anything, but look at them! It just ain’t right.”
Danny shrugs, minimal fight draining quicker than he can muster it up. Despite his loss in defence, Lewis seems bristled by his defence.
“What, mate?”
“Nothing,” Danny insists.
“Something’s up,” Lewis pushes back. “Have you decided to be gay, too?”
The table breaks out into laughs and jeers which makes Danny shrink in on himself because holy shit he could get outed again.
“God, they just seem nice. There’s no need to be a dick.” Fed up, Danny shoots to his feet and slings his bag over his shoulder. “You know what? I’m going to class. See you.”
He can feel the others watch him disappear into the school, but he doesn’t look back or change his mind. Not even for a second.
Danny comes out to Lewis over text that night.
It wasn’t in his plan, far from it, but he can’t get those stupid words Nick said to him out of his head. Again and again it plays in his head like a mantra.. Like he’s been cursed to second guess his entire ‘friendship’ with Lewis for all of eternity.
‘It isn’t worth it’ Nick is whispering in the back of his mind as Lewis makes up some bullshit excuse of a not-apology to get back into his good books.
‘It isn’t worth it’ as they argue back and forth.
‘It isn’t worth it’ when Lewis sends the final blow of a text: “What does it matter? R u gay or summert?”
So Danny replies in a moment of pathetic confidence. He asks Lewis so what if he is? Because why does it matter whether he likes boys or girls? How much does that change about him, really?
Nothing. It changes nothing about him whatsoever. He’s still the Danny who reluctantly accepted Lewis’ invite to sit with them so that he isn’t all alone and depressing. Still, though, Lewis hears none of it. He gets a mere laughing emoji in response and his ‘what?’ is left on read.
By the next day, everyone and their dog’s grandma know’s he’s gay. Maybe that defeats the point of moving schools in the first place, but he isn’t exactly bullied anymore. He just gets weird looks in the hallways and barely concealed whispers. It’s an improvement… Even if he has lost all of his friends.
Lunch rolls around but his plan to hide in his next period Science class blows through because he isn’t allowed in the school labs without adult supervision. Understandable? Yes. Inconvenient? Also yes. There’s an art teacher called Mr Ajayi who’s pretty openly gay on the flip side, so maybe he can hide in there. After all, Mr Ajayi is almost always in his room.
He’s not in the classroom when he enters, but there are two unmistakably familiar boys sitting at the back desk. Charlie is sitting on the desk, arms looped around Nick’s neck as the other nestles between his open thighs. They’re not doing anything particularly scandalous– the couple is just sort of whispering quietly yet incredibly intimately to each other in a way that reminds Danny of the little moment by the lockers. This time, though, there’s no teasing. Only Nick’s thumb sneaks beneath the hem of Charlie’s button up whilst his other hand cups the younger’s neck. Danny can’t make out a word they’re saying, but he can tell that it’s mostly Nick doing the talking. The blond whispers low and gentle in a way that sounds like a pleasant hum with its slightly gravelly tone which oozes of intimacy. The younger responds with small ‘mm’s and barely audible ‘i know’s, but other than that stays silent.
“Hi,” Danny blurts, which– like– why?
The two jolt to the door and Danny shuffles his feet awkwardly under the two bewildered stares. To their credit, they don’t really separate so much as they do make enough space for them to turn to the door.
“You’re that kid from the park!” Charlie says. “The one friends with Harry Greene’s brother?”
Danny grimaces at the title. It’s null and void by now, after all. “My name’s Danny. Danny Fisher.”
That’s when recognition dawns on the pair’s faces and, judging by how they look personally hurt for whatever reason, the two have clearly heard the latest Truham gossip. Nick looks down at Charlie cautiously, but Charlie looks mostly sympathetic (though there’s definitely something darker lingering beneath it).
“I see,” Charlie says measuredly despite this.
“Can I ask you both a question?” Danny lets himself ask.
The two share a look that looks more like the sort of silent conversations Danny sees his parents share when he asks to have a sleepover at Kian’s or something. It’s quick, a little bit of a bounce between their eyes as they search the other’s expression whilst somehow simultaneously giving their own. Seconds later, they nod in unison then turn to Danny to give him a nod, too.
“How are you guys so… Easy about being… Y’know?”
Nick looks puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean-” Danny sighs and pushes his hair back, trying to muster up the right words. “You both just make it look so easy, y’know? You’re Truham’s star couple and everyone knows you and loves you and respects you. I know you’re head boy and the rugby captain, but that only gets you so far, y’know? And, like, I could never imagine being… That.” He gestures vaguely to how the two are still essentially cuddling right in front of him. The pair look down at their intertwined bodies as though they’re so used to being in positions like this that they genuinely don’t realise when they’re in these positions before pulling apart reluctantly.
As Nick pulls himself to sit on the desk beside Charlie, the dark-haired teen speaks. “It wasn’t easy at the start. This one didn’t even know he was bi until a little bit after we got together. Then as Nick became more comfortable we just learned to love that we love each other? It wasn’t that we were ashamed of it or anything, it’s just that it felt like every second we were wondering what everyone else would say.”
He takes Nick’s hand in his and the blond picks up where Charlie left off.
“...But at some point,” Nick gives Charlie a sickeningly adoring look. “We realised that there was no point hiding it. We were– are– happy and nothing could ever take that from us. Once I told the people who mattered and they were fine with it, it just got easier because it didn’t really matter what anyone else thought. Once we had our support system everything just sort of fell into place. Obviously that makes it sound way easier than it actually was… My brother is a biphobic dickhead and we know people still talk about us but, I mean, who cares? Either we live to make people we don’t care about happy and being miserable ourselves trying to achieve that or we just… Live for us and what we want. The decision felt easy.”
Danny nods. “I was outed at my last school, too, and…”
“You get caught up in it?” Charlie nods understandingly. “I was outed, too.”
“It just feels like something I should be insecure about rather than proud of.”
“Maybe you need a better group. You’re always free to join us, if you want. I know we’re a little older, but…” Charlie’s voice trails off, leaving his reasoning unspoken.
“That would be great. Thank you.”
The next day at lunch, Danny sits down a little nervously beside the bookish guy he’s seen Nick and Charlie with.
“Everyone, this is Danny. Danny, this is Isaac, Tao, Sai, Otis, Christian and Sahar.” Nick points to each person as he lists them off, each giving a nod, wave or smile in acknowledgement.
“Nick says you have a dog?” Christian pipes up. “Can I see a picture?”
A little stunned, Danny pulls his phone out silently and displays his lockscreen. It’s Fumbles, chin resting on Danny’s shoulder and looking cutely up at the camera.”
“Aw! What’s his name?” Otis pipes up.
“...Fumbles.”
“Fumbles?” Christian snorts.
“Oi!” Nick scolds lightheartedly. “Be nice.”
“Go kiss your boyfriend, Nelson.” Just to prove how mature he is, Christian punctuates his quip by sticking his tongue out.
“I will. Go find a girlfriend, McBride.”
“I will!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
Nick blows a raspberry which is returned passionately by Christian. Clearly done with their antics, Charlie rolls his eyes and turns Nick’s face to look at him severely.
“If I see your tongue blow one more raspberry, I will personally cut it off and feed it to Henry and Nellie.”
“Violent,” Nick replies with a pout.
“You tell him, Charlie!” Christian cheers.
“Oh, no.” Charlie turns to give Christian the same damning look. “The same goes for you.”
Christian looks around utterly aghast at the audacity, clearly expecting some sort of defence. It’s all in vain, though, because everyone continues eating silently as if they heard nothing. Everyone but Sahar who tries her best to look casual, but a smirk keeps fighting its way onto her face. He huffs, defeated, and resigns into a joking strop.
“Can I at least get into your good graces with a kiss?” asks Nick, oozing with cockiness that implies he knows the answer to that question.
“Mm, maybe.” Charlie’s eyes are half-lidded as he mutters out a reply, already leaning in for a kiss.
A peck on the lips, then another, then a third, then a longer kiss…
There’s not a sound of complaint, not even as they nuzzle their noses together for a bunny kiss. That softness that surrounds them blossoms and encompasses them into their own little word and…
Oh.
Danny can see where they’re coming from now.
That happiness, that easiness.
Just being them... It feels so much more tangible now.