Chapter Text
The first memory Shanks remembered was steel.
A sword made out of steel, well maintained, and polished. Shanks remembered reaching out and grasping at the blade, barely touching it before it left his reach. A gentle hand holding him back and transporting him into a strong hold that felt like safety. Shanks felt comfortable in the strong arms that dwarfed him completely. Shanks leaned on the chest of the man and listened. And even to this day, he could remember the heartbeat of his father.
Strong and steady.
The rumbling voice echoed in his ears.
“I think you will be a man of the sword someday, Shanks.”
That was the end of the memory, but it stayed with him for the rest of his life. It was a core memory, and Shanks looked back to it when everything felt uncertain. That steel sword was steady and just there. It was a constant in his life where he grew up on the sea. He never lived on an island, but on a boat that traveled the world. Shanks needed something to anchor him down, and that sword did.
The sword of his father, Gol D. Roger, his captain.
Roger raised him, as a boy, as a growing man, and as a pirate. One that respects the sea and her ways. He was the one who taught him that he should have integrity and morals. That he shouldn’t harm ones that didn’t deserve it. That even if they were pirates, that wouldn’t excuse being a horrible human being. Shanks looked up to his father more than he could any other person because Roger was his father and captain.
His mother, Portgas D. Rouge, taught him how to look after himself and take care of himself. She was the one who told him it was okay to cry when he wanted to cry and that it wouldn’t make him less of a man. She was the one Shanks went to for advice when Shanks knew Roger couldn’t. She always welcomed him with open arms and looked at him with love in her eyes.
Shanks looked at his parents, who were so obviously in love with each other even after years of being together, with comfort. Roger and Rouge were soulmates, but only he and Rayleigh knew.
For how much Roger trusts his crew, even he knew that one wrong word would mean his family's downfall. The World Government would hunt them down, just for the blood in Shanks's veins. And killing the wife of the Pirate King would make a great headline. Rayleigh knew because Roger could never not tell his all but brother that he had a son. Rayleigh was there when Shanks was born and became Shanks’s godparent. Shanks always felt like Rayleigh was his uncle, family.
Shanks grew up with multiple warnings to not tell anyone who his father was. If he was asked his name, he would only give his first name, Shanks, and not his family name. Shanks hated it. He loved his name and wanted to share it, but he wasn’t dumb enough to disobey his parents. Shanks knew he wasn’t strong enough to fight off the Marines, so he wanted to get strong enough to say it without fear.
Shanks wanted to show his parents the news, showing them he wasn’t a child anymore, one not needing protection. He wanted them to be proud.
Shanks didn’t feel proud at his mother’s bedside, watching her waste away from illness.
Shanks saw her grow more tired, seeing her tan skin lose its color, and freckles becoming more prominent. He watched her lose weight, seeing her bones form her skin.
Roger was by her side, half the reason why he disbanded the Roger Pirates. Roger stayed by her side, while also suffering from an illness that made him cough up blood and wrack his body with weakness. Shanks watched both of his parents start to die while knowing he could do nothing.
Shanks was only fifteen when he watched his mother breathe her last breath. He watched his father shatter at her passing, while also grieving himself. Roger spent his last year with his other half, so when she passed away in her sleep, Roger couldn’t hold on any longer. Roger was still dying, and his time was coming. Shanks saw his father try to stay together for him, but he could see the pain in the man’s eyes.
“Shanks, I won’t be in this world for much longer but know that I love you.”
Roger put his forehead to him, making Shanks look him in the eyes. Shanks had the same eyes as his father but didn’t get Roger’s black hair or his mother’s strawberry blonde. His stark red hair was different from his parents, but they only said it made him unique. Rouge said red hair ran in her family, and that she was the odd one out. It made Shanks proud that he could let his mother have something to connect her with her family she didn't see anymore.
Rouge was distanced from her family when she fell in love with Roger, moving islands to move suspicions off her. Shanks only saw her a few times in his life before that final year, but their relationship never suffered from it. Rouge still loved him like a mother, and Shanks adored his mother. It made Roger laugh, saying Shanks was a Momma's boy. It made Rouge laugh, so Shanks wasn’t annoyed by that comment(that was a lie, he was very annoyed).
“Know that I am proud of the man you will become.”
Shanks never felt that small when he cried into his father’s shirt, knowing that his father was bigger than him and probably bigger than Shanks ever will be. Roger hugged him tight, Shanks not wanting to let go. Roger was the sole parent he had left, and he didn’t want to be alone. Shanks held on to the straw hat Roger gave him like it was the thing to save him, remembering the day his father set it upon his head.
It was when he was five years old, learning how to fish with his father. Shanks didn't know what he said, but his father was clearly surprised and then smiled. He grinned a smile that made Shanks feel warm and reached for his head. He took off the hat that he only let Rayleigh touch and put it on Shanks’s head. Shanks remembered it blocked his sight and was too big for his head. He looked up at Roger after, confused.
“That’s my treasure, you hear me. Take care of it for me.”
Shanks felt happy at that, making that hat his treasure than on. He was never without it and probably never would. It was the gift he got from his father, and he would protect it with his life.
Shanks looked up at the execution stand, tears falling from his eyes in waves. His father met his eyes, softening at his son. He felt off-kilter the entire time, drifting in the sea with no lifeboat. When those swords went down after his father spoke his last words, making the watchers cheer, all Shanks could see was red. He saw his father smile while blood tripped from the corner of his mouth and blood gushed from his chest. He saw blood dripping from the platform, landing on the ground below. The winds blew through the plaza, and clouds gathered above them.
Shanks bawled.
Roger, his last living parent, was killed, but he was dying before this. If Roger was healthy, he would have never made the choice to leave his son in this world by himself. But Shanks also saw the way there was some relief in Roger’s eyes, and Shanks understood. Roger wanted to meet Rouge again, and Roger took the chance.
Shanks ran away from the stand after seeing his father die. He couldn't stay here, on his father's home island. He needed to get away. He knew he should plan for his future pirate crew, but it would just be too much.
His mother and father were dead, and Shanks had no one by his side. His father said he would be proud of him, but Shanks only felt like a failure. He was the son of the Pirate King and Portgas D. Rouge, but he only felt like a child who wanted to hide behind his mother’s skirt.
Shanks whipped away his tears, but still felt like his heart was split in two. His little row boat sailed in the East Blue waters, not caring where he was going. He let the sea take him, trusting her.
He was Gol D. Shanks.
But the world only knew him as Shanks, and he didn’t want to tell the world anymore when there was no one to show it to.