Chapter Text
She didn’t want to miss him. She didn’t want to imagine what life would be like if it all worked out. She didn’t want to remember how his gorgeous red hair curled softly between her fingers, how his loud laugh would fill the entire room, how his green eyes lit up when he saw something he loved. Those eyes always lit up when he saw her. She wondered if they still would.
Her and Wally West used to go together like lightning and thunder. They adored each other, even when it was hard. It wasn’t easy being in love with a man who could break the sound barrier in less than .5 seconds, but he was a hero, and he had a world to save and protect. Y/N was happy that Wally had an uncle and close friends that were at his side.
She met Wally on some random rainy day. She was leaving her anthropology lecture when it began to pour down rain. Students and faculty alike ran into the buildings that surrounded the quad and Y/N fumbled around for her umbrella. Once she got the umbrella up, she was on her way, quickly walking to the lab building. When she turned the corner, she saw someone also caught in the torrential rain. He was tall and had gorgeous red hair that was unmissable. She didn’t think twice, she jogged over to him and put the umbrella over his head as well. The man quickly spun around, and they made eye contact for the first time.
It wasn’t love at first sight, Y/N didn’t believe in that, but an electric jolt went up her spine when they were nose-to-nose. His green eyes were wide, and his pale lips had little droplets of rain on them.
“You looked a bit wet,” Y/N awkwardly shuffled, clearing her throat. She heard him let out a soft giggle, looking at her through his eyelashes.
“How can I ever repay my hero?”
She eventually found out that he was the hero. He revealed that he was Kid Flash about a year into the relationship, and she was there when he became the Flash. She loved how his red hair would stick out of his half-cowl, looking like a brilliant flame whenever he bolted from place to place. The silver-blue lightning that followed him always appeared behind her eyelids. He’d pull her into his arms and zip her around the world. They’d kiss in Central City, then he’d be on top of her in a hotel room in Dubai.
But there came a time when she couldn’t keep up. She had no hope in doing so.
She didn’t think true love could be so complicated.
When she got her job as a professor at the university they met at, she came straight home and danced in victory when she unlocked the door. She stopped when she realized the apartment was dark and cold. Wally wasn’t home. He hardly was. On top of Wally being run ragged with Justice League, Titans, and Central/Keystone City work, he got increasingly worried about threats to her life. Hunter Zolomon, Zoom, had reared his ugly head again, and Wally was trying to keep her locked away. This was Wally’s Reverse Flash, and Y/N’s name was always on his poisonous lips. Images of her being torn to pieces plagued Wally’s thoughts and he became entirely too possessive and protective. It came to blows soon enough.
“I can protect myself, Wally! You can’t just—”
“I can’t lose you. Come on, just think about this,” Wally growled, unable to understand her protests, “until I put Zoom away for good, you just need to lay low—”
“I have lectures to give, research to do! I have friends to see too, Wally. You’re never home! Why do you get to run around and do what you want, and I don’t?”
“Because I’m stronger than you! You’re so fragile! How do you not understand this?” Wally exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.
Y/N stood in the kitchen, flames exploding in her chest. She saw Wally quickly realize what he said, and he clamped his lips shut.
“Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that—”
“Fragile? If there’s one thing you should’ve learned about me after all this time…it’s that I’m not fragile.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, but you have no special abilities, you can’t think as fast as I can, and—”
“You’ve said enough,” Y/N sneered, stalking off to their room. Wally zoomed after her, blocking her off. She hated when he did that.
“How am I the bad guy here?” Wally started getting frustrated, “I’m trying to keep you safe. You should be thanking me for protecting you. You know I don’t have to do that, right?”
“You don’t get it!” Y/N exclaimed, clenching her fists, “You’re never home. I know your responsibilities, you don’t have to be here every second, but I am not going to sit back and let you do everything while I sit on my ass. Let me be useful. I can take care of myself, and I can take care of you! I took care of myself before you, and—”
“Then why don’t you actually do it.” Wally was full of stress, and he didn’t like Y/N’s attitude. Sure, he had a horrible way of wording things sometimes, but Y/N should realize that he loved her more than anything and that’s why he was so frazzled about her. He zipped by at random points of the day to make sure she was safe. How dare she not appreciate that?
“Watch me.” Y/N pushed past Wally and began packing her suitcase.
A year and six months had passed since they broke up…not that she was counting, or anything. She poured herself into her work. She spent more time in her office and the lecture hall then she did in her own apartment. She tried to make every single second of her day be tied up in work. If she had too much free time, she’d start thinking about what she lost.
Wally seemed to be doing well. They hadn’t seen each other since that night, both were too proud to reach out to the other. He was still the Flash and doing good work in Keystone City and Central City with Barry. Iris would sometimes call her to see how she was doing – she always adored Wally’s aunt and uncle. When she was in Gotham for a conference, Dick invited her to stay with him in Bludhaven. She always felt a bit slimy still being connected to Wally’s family and friends, but if they didn’t see an issue with it, she guessed she didn’t either.
A few months after their split, Wally got a new girlfriend. As the months passed, Y/N noticed that the acid in her stomach stopped splashing up her esophagus whenever she thought about it. This new girlfriend seemed to be a better fit for the speedster. She had gorgeous black hair and she worked at the local news station with Iris. She smiled so easily, and she didn’t have a single flaw. They seemed cute whenever she’d interview the Flash for the TV station. Y/N would never admit that she changed the channel when those interviews would pop up.
It may have been a year and six months, but Y/N had no desire to date. She made her entire identity her work. She was well liked by her students and academia was her calling. It kept her preoccupied. Whenever she’d start thinking of Wally, she’d buckle down and start a pitch for a new research paper. She had been having a particularly hard day, which was why she was sitting in her office on campus grading some tests. She whipped her head up when she heard a loud commotion going on outside her door.
Central City University was located downtown, so it was always in the middle of any action. Y/N stood from her desk and exited her office. A steady stream of students and faculty were running to the exits. What in the hell? She decided to follow them, making sure that the students weren’t trampling each other. She quickly grabbed one of the doors that people were running out of and held it open for a quicker evacuation.
“What the hell is going on?” Y/N asked a Teaching Assistant that was helping her hold the door open.
“Abra Kadabra. The Flashes are on it, but it’s getting unstable,” The TA spoke, bolting off once all the students were out of the building.
Loud booms and explosions shook the ground and Y/N looked down at the floor. She knew should run in the direction everyone else was running in. The citizens of Central City knew that when something was going down, the Flashes would handle it, but they needed to get the hell out of dodge.
She decided to ignore her safety. She made sure that there were no lingering students when she stepped outside, quickly running to the front of the university which faced the large city center. She was jostled a bit by the people trying to run in the opposite direction of her, but she pushed through, bolting up the steps of the library to get a better view of the battle.
Barry was running circles around the magician, trying to take away the air around Abra Kadabra so he wouldn’t be able to speak his incantations. It didn’t work – Abra formed ice underneath Barry and the man slipped and fell on his face. Y/N turned her head to see a crack of silver-blue lightning. Her breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t seen Wally “in person” for a long time. She saw him get a hit on Abra Kadabra, and her eyes were glued to him. He was nothing more than a blur, but she was confident that he was going to take control of this.
Wally was brilliant and fast. There was little that would get in his way if he was focused. Barry regained his footing and went in on Abra Kadabra as well. Y/N felt her heart clench in fear when Abra Kadabra reached out.
“No!” Y/N softly exclaimed – Abra Kadabra had Wally by the throat. How the hell did he catch Wally? He must’ve used a spell or something. Barry began to interfere, but Y/N didn’t get to see the outcome.
“Y/N?” A familiar voice spoke behind her, “What in the blazes are you doing out here?”
The University President.
“D-Dr. Turner—”
“Come with me! It’s not safe out here!” The older man grabbed her and pulled her into the library.
Y/N was frustrated she couldn’t see the end of the battle – she couldn’t get the image of Abra Kadabra holding Wally by his throat out of her head. Her and Dr. Turner ran deeper into the library where many students and staff were huddled down, waiting for the battle to end. She pulled her knees to her chest as she waited, hearing the students chattering about the event taking place. Their voices quickly became hums as she went into her own world.
What if Wally died? That was such a real possibility. Barry could die as well – he had quite a few scares in the past. There was a time that Barry just disappeared for months on end – that’s when Wally took on the Flash mantle in the first place. When Barry returned, he encouraged Wally to continue being a Flash – there was room for two, and he had certainly outgrown his “Kid Flash” title. She pushed the redhead out of her head constantly – he didn’t believe she could take care of herself, and she was showing him now. She didn’t need him to be safe or successful. She felt a sinking in her chest when she wondered if Wally ever thought about her as much as she thought about him.
Probably not.
She knew he was only trying to protect her when they had their relationship ending fight, but he needed to learn that she was able to care for herself as well. She reviewed her earlier actions – she foolishly ran toward the danger. Maybe Wally had a point during that fight. She growled under her breath. Shut up. He didn’t have a point then, and he doesn’t have a point now! Her brain then skipped to the next thought -- what would happen if he died in a battle? She always secretly hoped that they would talk to each other again. She bit her lip so hard she tasted the unmistakable iron tang of blood. If Wally was taken from me —I mean the world – how would I be able to tell him… Y/N shook her head, unlatching her teeth from her bottom lip, licking over the small wound she left.
No. Don’t think like that! You’re just caught up in this…you don’t know if Wally was able to get out of Abra Kadabra’s clutches. Once you see the news report, you’ll be back to yourself.
She didn’t know how much time had passed when everyone’s phones buzzed with an announcement that the threat had been neutralized. Abra Kadabra was now in CCPD custody. She stood up and pulled out her phone, pulling up the local news stream. Y/N was perplexed to see that it was Barry talking to the news reporter Wally was currently dating. She usually only interviewed Wally…
Barry answered her questions in a scientific and neat manner and the interview ended. She waited to see if the other Flash, Wally, would be mentioned. She raised an eyebrow when the reporter ended her report, the main newsroom popping up on the screen. Why wasn’t Wally mentioned?
Y/N quickly returned to her office and grabbed her bag, leaving the ungraded tests on her desk. She could fool with those later. She needed to get to the bottom of this weirdness. Adrenaline was still pumping through her veins, and she didn’t waste any time, running to the curb and throwing her hand high in the air to hail a taxi.
--
There was only one place for her to be right now -- Iris and Barry’s house. She stepped out of the taxi and thanked the driver, watching the red tail lights get tinier and tinier until they were out of view. She put her hands in her pockets. Some of the adrenaline had passed through her, and she began to question everything. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. What grounds did she have for a visit? What if Wally was there? God, she hadn’t even called ahead. She was just having one huge overreaction because she still had some stupid feelings for the redhead. She ran a hand through her hair, still glued to the sidewalk. She had no reason to check up on Wally. They separated over a year ago! They didn’t talk anymore! Why the fuck did she care so much? He moved on with someone else while Y/N was still stuck in the kitchen where they had that fight. Their breakup only hurt whenever she fucking breathed.
“This is stupid,” Y/N scoffed, quickly turning her back to the house and pulling up the taxi app on her phone. Now she was going to have to pay two cab fares for nothing!
“Y/N!” Iris’ familiar voice called out, and Y/N quickly turned on her heel to see the woman on her and Barry’s porch with her hands on her hips, “Come on in, you’re going to get a cold!”
“Iris!” Y/N exclaimed, quickly running up to her. She let out a relieved sigh when Iris pulled her into her arms, enjoying the warmth of her hug, “I’m sorry I showed up unannounced—”
“No worries. Barry just got home,” Iris welcomed her into the home and took her winter coat, hanging it on the coat rack.
“I saw the battle,” Y/N breathed, quickly taking a seat in the living room as Iris turned down the TV, “well, part of it. I was pulled into the library by the university president…he looked at me like I was nuts.”
“Ha,” Iris rolled her eyes, “you’re always getting into trouble. I’m glad you’re safe and Barry is too.”
“Is…” Y/N cleared her throat awkwardly, heat coming to her cheeks. Ugh, this was humiliating. She looked away and took a deep breath, “Is Wally…alright? I saw Abra Kadabra grab him by the throat, and—”
“Who?” Iris asked, raising a scarlet eyebrow.
Y/N was taken aback. Who? Iris had to be playing some game. Y/N let out an awkward laugh, shaking her head.
“Nice one, Iris. I know that I don’t bring him up very often, but I still…care about him…” Y/N winced at her confession.
“Y/N, I genuinely…” Iris shook her head, still confused, “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
“Wally West?” Y/N spoke, uncrossing her legs.
Iris looked extremely serious, and she didn’t keep a joke running too long like Wally would. Y/N licked her dry lips, feeling panic radiating from the bottom of her spine.
“My grandfather’s name was Wallace,” Iris stood up and put a hand on Y/N’s forehead, “are you sure you’re okay? You might be shell shocked from the—”
“Y/N!” Barry called out as he came down the stairs, excitedly greeting the woman. Y/N let out a relieved breath. He’d know who she was talking about. Maybe Iris was having some weird memory lapses. She was four months pregnant…Y/N would have to do research on that when she got home that night.
“Barry! Nice to see you don’t have any scrapes after your run-in with Abra Kadabra. I saw half of it from the university library.”
“Well, I’m glad you stood clear. It was hard to take him down, he’s learned some new tricks. He’s not easy to battle one-on-one.”
Y/N looked at Iris and Barry with a bewildered expression. One-on-one? Barry wasn’t battling Abra Kadabra alone – he had a whole other Flash with him! He had Wally! Y/N blew her hair out of her face, “You didn’t battle him alone…” She croaked.
“That’s why it took so long,” Barry sighed, running a hand through his hair, “but he’s in custody now. CCPD has confiscated some of his future tech. I’ll be sure to look over it when I go into the lab tomorrow. Are you hungry?” Barry zipped to the kitchen.
Y/N stayed rooted to her spot, feeling her hands begin to shake. Barry and Iris weren’t joking. Y/N ignored Iris’ concerned face and ran to the kitchen to talk to Barry.
“Barry. Wally was there with you. I saw Abra Kadabra pick him up and try to choke him!” Y/N didn’t like this. Her legs felt like jelly and she gripped the kitchen counter to steady herself. Barry turned to face her, blue eyes full of confusion.
“Wally? I don’t know anyone with that name—”
“Wally! Wally West? He’s your nephew? He’s around 6’1”, has wavy bright red hair and green eyes!” Y/N felt tears drip down her cheeks, “He tells really stupid jokes and thinks that he can dance but he really can’t. He’s one of the fastest men alive, he can break the sound barrier in less than .5 seconds. He used to be Kid Flash? He adored you, looked up to you. He was president of the Flash fan club when he was a kid!”
“Y/N,” Barry murmured, quickly patting her shoulder. Y/N was hysteric, letting out wrecked sobs, “I think you may be a bit shell-shocked. How about Iris and I take you home, huh?”
“No! Wally…Wally, he…” Y/N pulled herself out of Barry’s grasp and frantically searched through the photos on her phone.
When they broke up, Y/N had deleted most of her pictures with Wally out of anger. There was one photo she couldn’t make herself delete, though. She showed it to Barry, pointing at Wally. No recognition flashed in Barry’s eyes. It was a photo of her and Wally laughing on their couch. He had the biggest smile on his face and he was holding her extremely close. She hadn’t smiled like that since she and Wally went separate ways. She wondered if she’d ever smile like that again. Dick had taken the photo during her and Wally’s housewarming.
Y/N let out a gasp.
Dick! He would certainly remember his best friend. She couldn’t understand how Barry and Iris didn’t remember their own nephew, but maybe Abra Kadabra messed with Barry’s mind during the battle.
“Y/N, please let me take you home—”
“I-I have to go see somebody,” Y/N ran to the living room to grab her winter coat, pulling it on, “It was nice seeing you guys!”
“Y/N—”
Y/N ran out the front door and bolted down the street. Barry knew he could easily catch up to her and stop her but decided against it. She was truly upset, and he knew that she needed to be alone.
“Who was she talking about?” Iris asked.
“I think she’s a bit confused…it could be a reaction from being near the battle. I’ll check on her tomorrow.”
--
After a grueling 18-hour drive, Y/N made it to Bludhaven. She only stopped to get gas. She didn’t eat. She didn’t sleep. She didn’t rest. She wouldn’t rest until she got to the bottom of this. She parked in front of Dick’s apartment complex and jumped out of her car, unable to wait another second. She took the rickety stairs two at a time and knocked a little bit too hard on Dick’s door. She caught her breath by holding onto the doorframe, closing her eyes. She prayed that Dick was home. He had a weird schedule, but then again, everyone in the Batfamily had a weird schedule. Her heart leapt to her throat when she heard footsteps shuffling up to the door.
“Y/N?” Dick yawned when he opened the door, seeing the woman in front of him. She looked worse for wear – she had bags under her eyes that were bloodshot. Her body was shaking and he could tell that if she wasn’t holding the doorframe, she’d collapse. “Oh God, are you alright?” He asked, quickly grabbing her shoulders and pulling her into his apartment. Y/N took a shaky breath.
“Wal—”
“When did you last eat?” Dick scolded, sitting her down at his kitchen table which had tons of case files on top of it, “I was about to make a bowl of cereal. You’re going to have one too.”
“I’m not—”
“You’re eating. Did you drive here all the way from Central City?”
Y/N decided she’d get nowhere if she didn’t listen to Dick, so she ate the cereal that he placed in front of her. She nodded and ate small spoonfuls. Usually, she’d be able to taste the sugary cereal, but it felt like and tasted like cardboard in her mouth. Dick sat across from her with a cup of coffee, watching her closely.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” He gently spoke, reaching out a hand to touch hers.
“Wally…Wally, nobody knows who Wally is!” Y/N choked out, pushing the cereal away from her, “He was with Barry yesterday, fighting Abra Kadabra, right? I only saw half of the battle! The last time I saw Wally was when Abra Kadabra had him by the neck! When I was able to go back outside, everything was gone!”
“Wh—”
“So I went to see Iris and Barry to see if Wally made it out okay! I know that Wally and I broke up a year and six months ago, yes I kept track because for some stupid reason I still like him, but I had to know he was okay—”
“Y/N, slow—”
“So, I asked Iris and Barry about him and they didn’t know who I was talking about!” Tears began to fall down in rapid succession from her eyes, and her voice raised an octave as she got a little bit more hysterical, “I showed them a picture of Wally! It was the picture you took at our housewarming! I don’t know why they’ve forgotten Wally…how could anyone…you remember Wally, right, Dick? Right? Please—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa…” Dick put his hands up and grabbed some paper towels for his friend’s tears, trying to steady her. She was trying to gulp in air as she sobbed, and she was a bit hard to understand.
“Please,” Y/N begged, calming herself down slightly, “you remember Wally, right?”
Dick stared at the woman in front of him for a few seconds. Wally. Was that name familiar? He looked down at the files on his kitchen table and tried to focus on the name. Nobody popped up in his mind – he was truly drawing a blank. He heard Y/N let out a heartbreaking wail, and he looked up at her.
“Wally! Wally West – he’s your best friend? You’ve known each other since you guys were just little sidekicks! You two have been through so much together! Wally has red hair, bright red hair and green eyes! He’s taller than you and he always teases you about it. One time he heard that your apartment complex exploded, and he was there in less than a millisecond to make sure you got out safe. He’s the Flash!”
“Y/N,” Dick did not deny that Y/N believed she was telling the truth, but this name and the memories and description she was telling him were just not familiar, “I know that…that you believe this to be true, but—”
“Dick! No!” Y/N screamed, putting her hands over her face, “not you too…please…” Dick quickly walked over to hold her close, and she came apart in his arms, unable to hold her head up any longer.
If not even Dick remembered Wally, was all hope lost? Y/N refused to give up, demanding Dick to call his Titans friends. All of them, Donna, Roy, Garth – they all remembered Y/N fondly – but they couldn’t remember the man that introduced her to them.
“How…Dick, do you even remember how you met me?” Y/N was getting ready to leave Dick’s apartment even though he was begging her to stay a night to get some rest. She needed to get back to Central City. There was one other person she needed to check in with. Dick thought about her question, remembering how she asked Roy, Donna and Garth the same thing.
“I feel like I’ve always known you, Y/N,” Dick offered, rubbing the back of his neck. That’s what his friends said too. They could not point to a specific moment that they met, but they all knew Y/N was a close friend.
“I’m going to bring Wally back,” Y/N asserted, walking to the door, “and you will remember him.”
“Y/N, you are in no shape to—”
Y/N shut the door behind her and ran to her car. She had one last chance and she wasn’t going to waste any time.
--
When she entered Central City, she made a beeline for a place she never thought she’d visit.
Wally’s girlfriend’s apartment.
If Y/N was lucky (well, it could be seen as unlucky, but whatever…) the girlfriend would remember her boyfriend and Y/N would at least have a lead. She would no longer be the only one who remembered Wally. She kept reminding herself that Wally West was her ex-boyfriend and that she had no business being this invested, but she could despair over that whole thing later. She had a mission – there was something she needed to figure out. And she was. She had to. She figured most girls would love the chance to know that her ex was forgotten by everyone, but she didn’t hate Wally. She didn’t even dislike him. She…no. She didn’t love him anymore…right? She had a healthy dose of respect for him. Yeah.
Y/N shoved her hands in her pockets, trudging into the elevator that would take her to the woman’s floor. She knew she looked worse for wear. Her hair was messy, her face had seen better days, and she was wearing the same clothes for nearly the third day in a row. She reminded herself that this was about Wally, not her. If she brought him “back” – if that was possible – he’d go back to this woman because he loved her. They deserved to be happy. She wouldn’t impede.
She took a steadying breath and knocked on the apartment door. Y/N had accidentally packed one of Wally’s pullovers in her bag when they broke up. She didn’t have enough guts to return it to him until several months later. She asked Barry about what address she should send it to, and that’s how she learned Wally had moved on, and where his new girlfriend lived. Y/N could hear two people talking. A woman’s voice and a man’s voice. Y/N felt her heart stall in its beating. Another man…was Wally here? She felt anger explode within her – did Wally put his friends and loved ones up to pretending he never existed so she’d forget about him? She scolded herself as soon as she thought such a thing – no. Iris, Barry, Dick, the Titans…they were all genuine, and they were her friends too. They would never do something like this.
And Wally would never even think about doing something like that.
She closed her eyes as she listened to heels clack towards the apartment door. If Wally was in there, she’d be relieved. She would merely greet the couple, say that she had talked to Barry and wanted to make sure Wally was alright after the fight with Abra Kadabra. She’d then be on her way and never see Wally again. For real this time. It was too dangerous for her to try to get glimpses with him or be near him. She was falling back in love – she knew it because she remembered how that felt. Slowly, but then all at once.
“Hi…?” A female voice spoke.
Y/N’s eyes shot open, and she saw Wally’s beautiful girlfriend in front of her. She was even more breathtaking in person! Her black hair was shiny and soft, and her brown eyes were warm. She had high cheekbones and pretty lips. Y/N swallowed dryly. Oh, Wally had met his match for sure. Y/N shook her head of her thoughts.
“Hi. Um, you don’t know who I am, but—”
“I do. You’re Y/N L/N, right?”
Y/N was a bit taken aback by this. How did this girlfriend know her name? She cleared her throat and played with her fingers, avoiding eye contact. She wondered if the woman could smell fear because Y/N had heaps of it.
“Y-yeah,” Y/N stammered, “how did you—”
“Wally talked about you all the time,” She smiled. Y/N’s eyes widened. Wally. She said Wally’s name! Y/N nearly fell over, clutching the woman’s shoulders to stay tethered.
The woman looked at Y/N, a bit peeved that she just grabbed her. Y/N quickly let go, mumbling a quick apology.
“Wally. You know Wally? Wally West? Red hair, green eyes—”
“Of course. He was my boyfriend. We were never that serious though, kind of off and on?” The woman looked at the ceiling in thought as she stood in her doorway, “It was casual. I haven’t heard from him in a while. There wasn’t anything really significant about our time together, either.”
“I see,” Y/N was confounded now. The girlfriend could only “vaguely” remember Wally? Why could Y/N vividly remember this man? “H-have you seen him—”
“He stopped coming around, and I started getting bored. Like I said, we never got very serious. I don’t think I ever told him that I loved him, same for him. He was so sweet, though. But…he wasn’t the only guy that had eyes on me.” She smiled.
Y/N was about to respond when a man appeared behind the woman in the doorway. He was pretty too. Y/N felt her heart crack a bit. Oh, Wally. He had been replaced so easily…but the girlfriend couldn’t be blamed. She believed Wally was her ex – and they weren’t ever serious, apparently.
“I see, well, I’ll let you guys get back to your evening together,” Y/N bowed her head awkwardly, backing away from the door.
“Oh, is that all? You just came to ask about Wally?” She asked.
“Yeah, heh, I had something I wanted to drop off for him,” Y/N fibbed, “I guess I’ll have to ask Iris about his new address. My apologies…”
Y/N didn’t want to hear a response, briskly walking away and to the elevator. She put her hands in her hair as she waited for the elevator to come to the floor she was on. What the hell was going on here? Things would make a little bit of sense (well, not really, but they’d be a bit easier to try and figure out) if everyone but her forgot Wally. But this woman had vaguely remembered him. She decided to put this “research” into context – she was the only person who fully remembered him.
She could still smell his scent. She could still feel his curls under her fingertips. She could feel the sparks of electricity that tickled her body when they made love. She could still taste him on her lips. She remembered his laugh, his wandering hands. She could remember how soft his voice was when he breathed that he adored her. She adored him too. She…she still did. She tried to hold back her tears, but they quickly fell over her lower lids. She shoved herself into the elevator when it appeared in front of her, grateful that it was empty.
--
“I’m requesting a year-long sabbatical.” Y/N cleared her throat in front of the University President. Dr. Turner raised a white eyebrow.
“Dr. L/N, you are overdue for a sabbatical, but it is very usual for a professor to ask for one in the middle of an academic term…”
“I have spoken with Dr. Andrews in the department. He’s willing to take on the two sections of my Forensic Biology course. Dr. Yates says she’ll be able to adjust her schedule to teach the one section I have of Anthropological Crime Scene Investigation, including the lab. My classes are covered, and I’ll still be available for student questions.”
Dr. Turner continued to observe the woman in front of him, putting his hands together as he thought. She had obviously put a lot of thought and organization into this.
“What do you hope to achieve during your potential sabbatical?”
I hope to have Wally back at my side so he can return to his loved one’s lives.
“I hope to further my research on forensic toxicology.” Y/N spoke, trying to keep her cool. She wasn’t researching that at all, but she needed an excuse to have full 24/7 access to the forensic chemistry lab.
“Forensic chemistry? I thought you preferred the forensic biology side of things,” Dr. Turner let out a little laugh.
“You’re right,” Y/N shrugged, painting a smile, “but I want to branch out a little bit, since toxicology is still wrapped up in biology.”
“Hm. Well, you seem prepared for this sabbatical. I would like you to still be available for your students – they truly enjoy you, Dr. L/N. I’ll sign off on it.”
“Thank you so much, Dr. Turner!” Y/N exclaimed, hope filling her chest.
She could now devote all her time on solving this.
--
Y/N got her hands on some surveillance footage from the university security office. While getting into a heated battle with Abra Kadabra in front of Central City University where there were thousands of students, staff and faculty was not conducive to a successful environment, she was extremely grateful. She would have the view that she had on the library steps before Dr. Turner dragged her inside. Wally would be on the tape. Memories may have been erased, but physical evidence is more difficult to destroy.
Y/N loaded the flashdrive into her laptop while she sat in her office. It was past midnight, but she had no desire to go home. She couldn’t rest peacefully until she got to the truth. This security footage could actually answer a lot of questions for her. She pulled the file up and pressed play, watching the screen closely.
She watched as Abra Kadabra came on the scene, Barry showing up milliseconds later. She let out a loud noise of victory, clapping her hands together when Wally appeared. She had him on camera! Definitive evidence that Wally West was real, not just a figment of her imagination. The crime scene became more of a blur, and Y/N found it hard to keep up. Her head was beginning to spin, and she nearly grabbed her wastebasket to puke when Abra Kadabra put his hands around Wally’s neck. She sat closer to the screen with bated breath. This was the part she was pulled away from.
She saw Wally attempt to vibrate to phase through Abra Kadabra’s hand. He was getting to the point that he’d be successful when a bright streak of light blinded the camera on the screen. Y/N let out a frustrated yell, shaking her head.
“Shit!” Y/N needed a clear picture, not just a huge shock of light! Soon, the camera adjusted, and she could see Wally’s limbs disappear into the colorful streak of light. After that, Abra Kadabra was on the ground, and Barry was there to apprehend him.
She shook her head, quickly putting the video into a video editor, going through each frame inch by inch. She was able to slap some filters on and do some color adjusting with the bright shock of light, and she was able to vaguely make out Wally’s figure. It was like he was sucked into the light, and he didn’t leave a single speck of dust behind. There was nothing left of him. She buried her face into her hands.
She had more questions than answers, now.
Wally was not dead – she never believed he was from the beginning. Why would Abra wipe everyone’s mind of him if he was meant to die? It would be much more devastating to the Justice League, the Titans, and Keystone and Central City if everyone saw the red-headed speedster choke on his own blood and fall to the ground. He was held somewhere else, not on this planet. But where the hell, and what the hell, was that place?
She knew that she could take this footage and take it directly to Barry at the crime lab tomorrow, but she decided against that. Barry and Iris had enough on their plate as is, and she was a bit afraid that Barry would go into responsible parent mode and make her cease and desist in this whole thing. Barry would have to conclude that Wally existed on his own. Y/N just prayed it would happen soon.
She stood out of her chair and began to pace the room, tapping her pen against her chin. It was pure energy that wrapped Wally up, and it was no doubt created by Wally’s speed abilities. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to remember her and Wally’s conversations.
“Don’t call me crazy, but I think I’m faster than I was before,” Wally breathed into the crown of her head as they laid on the couch, some random reality show on the screen.
“What?” Y/N turned to look at Wally, “did you time yourself, Speedy Gonzales?”
“Cute,” Wally rolled his eyes, poking her nose, “No. But…I ran so fast the other day that I felt like I…broke…something?”
“…” Y/N sat up, quickly touching Wally’s face, her hands trailing down to his neck, collarbones, shoulders, “Where? I know your metabolism is crazy fast and you guys have accelerated healing, but you should still get fractures checked out—”
“Not a break like that,” Wally laughed, causing Y/N to smack him on the chest.
“Okay, then what did you mean?”
“I was running so fast, and then suddenly, I was just…wrapped up in something. It was just for a second though, and then I fell on the ground.”
Y/N bit her bottom lip, “Did you talk to Barry about it?”
Wally could sense that Y/N was getting a bit worried, and he kissed her forehead, adjusting so that she could lay on top of his body, “Yeah. He said it was--”
Y/N’s brain went into a fuzzy mode where all she could remember from then on was them having sex on the couch. His raptured face whenever he hit his peak was something that would always stick around in her mind. His little grunts and whimpers of her name…how he cried out how much he loved her, and how she was it for him…God, she wished that was still the case…
“Fuck!” Y/N cried. She could remember the sex but not the damn thing that Wally mentioned?! Pathetic! She rubbed her temples.
Come on, Y/N! Think! Y/N closed her eyes and hoped the next memory would be a winner and not some wet dream.
Y/N jumped when Wally sped into her office at the university. He let out a laugh at her little shriek, and she playfully glared at him.
“If one of my coworkers comes in here to find out what I was screaming about and they see you, they’re gonna—”
“Think you’re the coolest woman in the universe? Yeah, I know,” He sat on her desk, his scarlet uniform hugging each bit of him perfectly, “you have to be quite the woman to get the attention of one of the fastest men in the world…”
“What brings you by, honey?” Y/N asked, leaning forward to run a soothing hand through his hair, “I know you’re usually busy…”
“Can’t keep me from you,” Wally winked, kissing her softly. “But I have an update about that thing we talked about the other night, the Speed Force—”
“THE SPEED FORCE!” Y/N jumped up in down in victory, relieved that she finally grasped a memory that would work. How the hell could she forget? It was all Wally talked about once he figured out what it was. Wally was a little scientist at heart – a true nerd – and he loved looking into how things worked.
That had to be where he was. There was no other logical explanation.
She ripped a piece of paper from one of her notebooks and messily wrote down “speed force” on it. While she had solved a little bit of this puzzle, she knew she wasn’t anywhere near done. Not much research was done on the Speed Force. The most someone investigated it was Wally himself…and he wasn’t around to give her a crash course. She remembered Barry speaking about it, but she didn’t know how much information he had. She knew she needed to investigate this herself for now. She couldn’t go to Barry until she had more concrete information.
She pulled her bag out of her desk drawer and dug through it to find her car keys. She had done all she could do that night, and it was a small victory. She just hoped that her progress wouldn’t stall here.
--
It had been a few months since Y/N had a breakthrough. She stayed awake at all hours of the day and night. There would be times that she’d just fall asleep on the nearest surface because she was so exhausted and couldn’t go any further. Each time she took a nap and she had control over it, she’d set an alarm to wake her up in an hour. She forgot to eat at times, so she kept some granola bars in her office. She was furious that she hadn’t made any breakthroughs since that one night. Sure, she had the Speed Force in name, but she didn’t know much about it.
She knew that only speedsters could access it, but they had to be at max velocity, their max speed – maybe even a little bit beyond that. It was not easy to just enter the Speed Force, and Y/N got the impression from Wally whenever he talked about it that it wasn’t a victory when running into it. A lot of things could be manipulated with the Speed Force, and some things should not be manipulated, such as time.
She wondered if she’d ever be able to find Wally. What if this was all just some futile mission? Was she fooling herself? She had missed him, and she never moved on – what if all of this was her subconscious telling her to get over it? To finally realize that Wally was the love of her life and she lost it by not being able to keep up with him. What if this exhaustion, pushing herself to extremes, was just a way for her to take away the dull pain she felt in her chest whenever she’d see someone with red hair, or lightning streak across the sky?
Y/N snapped out of her thoughts when she saw lightning split the inky night sky in the forensic chemistry lab. It was around two in the morning and a major storm was forecasted to take place around 2:30am. She had been waiting for a long time for an occasion like this to roll around. All the storms predicted over the past few months had turned out to be complete duds. Just downpours, or loud crashes of thunder from far away.
Why was she waiting for intense lightning? Simple. Only speedsters could enter the Speed Force, right? If she became one of them, she’d be able to enter the Force, find Wally, and pull him out. Well, maybe she wouldn’t be able to pull him out, but she’d at least be able to find him and then they could put their brains together to figure a way out of this. She made sure the door to the forensic chemistry lab was locked, and she quickly moved the rack of chemicals closer to the window.
Wally had told her how he got his speedster abilities when he revealed his identity to her. He had copied Barry’s lab incident to recreate his uncle’s unique abilities. He knew it was extremely risky, but it had worked for him, and the rest was history. She was going to try and attempt that – third time’s the charm, right? She grabbed a metal plate and held it in her arms, tight against her chest. She needed to draw the lightning towards her, and metal was a sure-fire way to do it.
Could she die from this? Absolutely. Did that bother her? A little bit. Was returning Wally back to this plane of existence her biggest priority? Yes. Her eyes quickly fell back on the large window when lightning lit up the sky yet again. The storm was getting closer – the thunder after the lightning was coming in shorter bursts. She adjusted her stance near the chemicals that were crucial for this entire thing to work. If she was struck by lightning but the chemicals didn’t splash on her, she wouldn’t get anything.
She opened the lab window and bit her lip, closing her eyes as she held the metal to her body. Please, please. Just strike me with some lightning. I must get to Wally. He needs me. Y/N was beyond herself. If she couldn’t get these abilities, she had no other ideas or plans. This was it. If she was unsuccessful, she’d never get Wally out of the Speed Force. He would spend the rest of his days there. She wondered if it was torture – if Wally would just be stuck there, never aging, never wasting away. Stuck in purgatory for weeks, months, years, decades.
She heard a loud boom of thunder shake the ground under her and she opened her eyes to see a nearby lightning strike. This was her only chance. She couldn’t sit back and wait for another severe storm to pass through Central City. Her eyes widened when lightning struck just outside the window. Her metal plate was working!
Seconds passed. Minutes. Then hours. The storm had passed, the last strike of lightning occurred right near the lab window, but nowhere close to where it needed to be. Y/N still held the metal to her chest, desperate. Maybe there would be a lingering storm with some lightning. This couldn’t be it…it just couldn’t. Not after all these months of dead ends and confusion. Not when she wanted this more than anything. She felt her legs begin to give out from under her, and she slowly sank to the floor. There was no more lightning tonight, which meant that there was no chance she’d be able to solve this mess.
Her eyelids were heavy and her whole body had a dull ache – she had been standing in one place for hours. She knew all of this was going to put her in an early grave. Maybe she was as fragile as Wally said she was. She tried to take that thought out of her head, but it echoed viciously. She hated how loyal she was – why couldn’t she just get over Wally and move on? She secretly wished that her memory had been wiped of Wally too. Just so she wouldn’t have to feel this pain.
It felt sinful to even think such a thing, and she quickly begged for forgiveness. She curled up into a ball on the floor and fell into a fitful sleep.
--
Y/N was extremely confused when she woke up in her bed in her apartment the next morning. Yeah, her brain wasn’t functioning at full capacity due to all the short cuts in self-care she was doing, but she was sure she’d remember going back home—
“Mind telling me why you were passed out in CCU’s forensic chemistry lab with a metal plate held to your chest and various chemicals near your body?”
Y/N winced. Oof. Yeah. She had fallen asleep in the chem lab last night, and none other than Barry Allen collected her and brought her back home. She blinked the sleepiness out of her eyes and saw Barry standing in her bedroom doorway with pancakes in a skillet.
“I…uh, plead the fifth?” Y/N squeaked.
“Not gonna work on me, Y/N. Wally has tried that multiple times…and he never got out of anything.”
“Come on, Bar, I’m much better at this than Wally is, and—” Y/N abruptly stopped her sentence. Did….did Barry just talk about a memory he had of Wally?
“We have a lot to discuss,” Barry smirked at Y/N’s realization, happy that her brain was still functioning, “come on, I made pancakes, and you’re going to need all the energy you can get for this.”
--
Y/N scarfed down her pancakes – Barry refused to talk to her about any developments until she had eaten a full meal. He was kind of worried that she was eating too fast and was going to throw up, but he let it slide. After he had a revelation yesterday during his battle with the Justice League against Darkseid, he came home to check on Iris and let her know he was okay before he ran off to Y/N’s apartment. He had to tell her that he began to remember Wally. He let out a disapproving hum when he saw that her apartment was dark and empty.
He then knew she’d probably be at the university. He zipped into her office. Not there. He zipped around the quad. Not there either. He checked the library – still no sign of Y/N. He noticed that it was going to storm soon, and he quickly put all the facts together.
That girl was going to try and recreate the experiment that gave him his speed. And Barry was not going to let yet another person recreate his accident.
“Alright, you look a little bit better now that you have some food in you, so I guess I can reward you with some information—”
“Did you see Wally? How much do you remember? Is he alright? Is he out of the Speed Force? How’d you do it? Was there—”
“Y/N, I’m the fastest man on earth at the moment and even I can’t keep up with those questions. How about I give you the information and then you can ask normal-paced questions at the end?”
Y/N crossed her arms and grumbled under her breath. Barry held back a laugh and cleared his throat.
“The Justice League took down Darkseid last night – it was not an easy task, and he had almost terraformed the earth. I’m sure you didn’t have the slightest idea since you were trying to become the next Flash…which I strongly disapprove of, by the way.”
“I got that message loud and clear, boss…”
“When sending Darkseid back to his realm, the laws of psychics became pretty flimsy -- which meant the Speed Force was easier to break into. I was only in it for a moment since I had to use my speed to generate enough energy to send Darkseid back,”
Y/N sat on the edge of her seat, hanging onto Barry’s every word. Could this be the breakthrough she was hoping for?
“That brief time I was in the Speed Force, I heard someone call out my name. It was so familiar, and when that moment was over, everything came flooding back all at once. I remembered Wally.”
“Oh my God,” Y/N couldn’t hold back her emotions, wiping her eyes, “You heard him! That means he’s okay, right?”
“That’s what I’m assuming – but we’ll have to work fast. We can pull Wally out of the Speed Force, but…there’s going to be some inconvenient truths you’re going to need to learn and embrace before we can do that.”
Y/N didn’t like Barry’s warning. What inconvenient truths? She looked down at the floor, trying to understand. It was obvious to Barry and probably all the people she talked do (sans Wally’s girlfriend, hopefully,) that she was madly in love with the speedster. She was doing all this research, literally putting her life on the line, to get him back. If that wasn’t love…what was?
“I love him still.” Y/N breathed, looking up into Barry’s eyes. His expression softened and he nodded.
“And you hold the key to getting him out of there. I can assist in giving you the information and setting you need, but it’s going to be your connection to Wally that will save him.”
“How does that work?” Y/N asked, looking down at her hands, “Wally doesn’t love me anymore. He has someone else…who is very nice and pretty, by the way! I don’t think she remembers him as vividly as I do, so—”
“Y/N. There’s a reason that only you were able to remember Wally. Abra Kadabra sent Wally into the Speed Force to make him disappear,” Barry began, wanting to get the most important facts through to her, “speedsters…we have this thing,” Barry ran a hand through his hair, “Wally labeled it a lightning rod, which is kind of cheesy, but you know how he is.”
Y/N let out a sad giggle, nodding. She knew exactly how Wally was. An absolute hopeless romantic at heart that pulled out all the stops (but made you gag with each one-liner and rose-petal path that led to the bedroom.)
“This lightning rod keeps us grounded. It pulls us out of the Speed Force if we get entangled. Lightning rods can come in many forms. Close friends, family members,” Barry watched Y/N closely, “lovers.”
Y/N followed along, numbly nodding her head.
“Iris is my lightning rod. I’m very lucky that I haven’t been trapped in the Speed Force, but if I ever were, I know that Iris’ love for me would help me connect to her and get out.”
“Mmhm…” Y/N thought that was very sweet, but she didn’t understand what this had to do with her remembering Wally.
“Since close friends, family members, and lovers can be used to establish connections, they are a threat to anyone who wants to trap a speedster. Do you get where I’m going here?”
“…Abra Kadabra erased everyone’s memories of Wally that could’ve brought him back to us…” Y/N breathed.
“Exactly. Iris and I got our minds wiped. So did Wally’s girlfriend and his close friends. Abra Kadabra did not wipe your mind of Wally because he made a fatal mistake. He believed there was no way you could be the lightning rod since you and Wally separated, and he was with someone else.”
Y/N didn’t know what to say. She absolutely wasn’t the lightning rod. If she was, wouldn’t he be back here now? She shook her head, wanting to get out of this whole situation.
“I told you the truths would be inconvenient. I bet you thought that Wally’s lightning rod would be the woman he’s with now.”
“I-I mean, she was able to remember him too, even though Abra Kadabra tried to wipe her mind. That had to mean something – her love for Wally must be so strong—”
“There is no love there, no offense to either of them. And I’m sure the girlfriend told you that as well. Abra Kadabra didn’t wipe her mind fully because he was able to see that there was no strong attachment. He left her memory mainly intact…probably to throw us off his trail. I told you Abra Kadabra made a fatal mistake, Y/N…”
Y/N dared herself to look up at Barry’s serious expression.
“He didn’t pick the true lightning rod.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Y/N put her hands up, shaking her head, “Barry…I just can’t…believe that. If I was truly the lightning rod, why hasn’t Wally been pulled out yet? He’s all I’ve thought about for months!”
“Because you haven’t been truthful with yourself. Sure, you have feelings for Wally, you admitted those, and even though you’ve told me you’re still in love with him, you’re talking yourself out of it. You can’t do that—”
“Even if I can, how will Wally know to establish that connection with me! We haven’t talked in over a year! The last time we spoke to each other was that ridiculous fight we had. I wish I could just take it all back, Barry. He must think I hate him—”
“Wally still has the attachment to you. It’s not something that can easily be broken off, Y/N. You are it. Once you can get out of your own way, Wally will feel the connection and be pulled out. It’s on you, Y/N.”
“Damn Barry, no pressure,” Y/N whined.
“I told you this was going to be some heavy news. But I know you can do this. This is going to sound ridiculous coming out of my mouth, but you’ve got to stop running, Y/N.”
“Fine. Just…give me a minute.”
“You have some time – we’ll try to pull Wally out tonight, and we’ll have to go somewhere else. We can’t pull him out here – he needs plenty of space.”
--
Y/N shivered as she pulled her jacket around her in the large field Barry sped them to. It was flat land for miles – one of the benefits to living next to Kansas. No civilians nearby, not even any livestock. It was the perfect place. Y/N didn’t know what to expect if she was able to pull Wally out. Would he come in faster than light and crash and burn a few miles down the road? Would he just pop out of thin air?
“Y/N, it’s time.”
“Okay,” Y/N took a deep breath and closed her eyes, focusing all her attention on Wally.
She loved him. He knew how to push her buttons, of course, and he could really fire her up with some of the stuff he’d say without thinking first. His mouth worked faster than his brain sometimes, and she knew Wally wasn’t very fond of that quality he had. Their argument over protection cut her deep, but she knew that he didn’t mean anything bad by it. However, he should’ve respected her desire for some freedom. Even if she was put under lock and key, Zoom could’ve still gotten to her.
Abra Kadabra could get to her. Captain Cold could get to her. Captain Boomerang, The Trickster – she could go on and on. But she was never scared, she never feared for her life. Because she had Wally. Wally, who could break the sound barrier. Wally, who, whenever he’d hear her crying, would be at her side within seconds. Wally, who held her so gently in his arms during their first time, soothing her with his words of adoration. He could go fast – that was all in his title, but he was slow and meaningful. He put a hand through her hair and kissed up her jaw, panting in her ear. She felt warmth pool in her stomach.
He was erratic at times, able to jump all over the place. He’d be talking about one subject then quickly go to the other, and it all made sense in his brilliant mind. She eventually learned how things connected for him, and she loved seeing how his brain worked. He loved to surprise her -- she would be sitting on the couch eating chips in her sweatpants and the next thing she’d know, she’d be in his arms in some field like the one she was on with Barry now, a blanket in his arms so they could stargaze.
He was loyal to a fault. He committed to his friends and family. He didn’t have the best homelife with his parents when he was a child. He was ignored, pushed to the side, manipulated. He truly got to be a kid when he visited his Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry. He had a scientific mind, just like Barry, but he was open to more possibilities, the unexplained. Of course, he had the scientific method down pat, but he always thought outside the box.
He had faith and he always held onto hope, acting as a lighthouse for those that were miserably lost. He was there with a joke or a hug – whichever you needed at that exact moment. He cared about everyone, even those that made his life miserable. He tried to talk things out with the rogues, provide them with what they needed so they could leave their lives of crime behind. He had a short fuse, of course, but he learned how to be patient (well, maybe not completely patient, but it was good progress for a man faster than sound.)
If he loved you, you knew. He was not quiet in his affections. He was proud when he was in love. He’d shout it from the rooftops – to be loved by Wally was not the average experience.
She remembered how wrapped up he was in her, his green eyes committing all her to his memory. He studied her like she was ancient knowledge, dug up for the first time. He’d always try to find out more about her, dig deeper. And she let him dig, she let him dig as deep as he wanted. In turn, he opened up as well. They’d talk about future plans, dreams, goals. It devastated Y/N to know that when they went their separate ways, they’d have to learn to implement those plans with someone else. She couldn’t see herself making a family with anyone other than Wally.
She wanted to see their bright red hair sticking up in all directions when they woke up on a Saturday morning. She wanted to hear their loud giggles when their dad would tell them a stupid joke. She wanted to see them cringe in embarrassment when Wally would take up space on the dance floor. She wanted to hear the quick patters of their little feet because they’d obviously inherit their father’s speed.
She adored Wally. How could she have ever thrown him to the side? She could never forget him or forsake him. He taught her so much, and she had taught him as well. They grew with each other, into each other. They were rooted in the same spot. She wanted to be his lightning rod. She wanted to be someone he could rely on because she could always rely on him.
There was nothing holding her back. She loved him and she didn’t care what anyone else thought. Even if Wally had genuinely moved on, she was his lightning rod in this exact moment. And she wasn’t going to let him down.
Y/N jolted when a loud crack thunder echoed around the field, lightning lighting up the sky like veins on the underside of someone’s wrist. Another loud rumble of thunder shook her to her bones, and the field was suddenly bathed in a blinding light. Y/N quickly shielded her eyes. When the light went away, there was a figure on the ground between her and Barry.
Wally.