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It had been two weeks since the upside down. Two weeks since Eddie was dragged out. Two weeks of Robin, Nancy, and Steve coming in shifts- sometimes with Dustin tagging along, to check in on Eddie. Bruises healed but deep gashes, cuts, bite marks lingered. Daring to become mangled scars and sensitive new flesh. Robin had found this old abandoned deer lookout months ago while on a walk through the woods of Hawkins and it became the perfect place to hide Eddie. The perfect place to mourn the events that everyone so desperately wished to shove away.
Eddie laid on a make-shift bed of pillows and a sleeping bag tucked into a mattress topper that Dustin had procured from god knows where based solely on the stains. Honey Comb cereal boxes scattered around him like a bed of roses. Half asleep and doped up on painkillers Steve had found, he tried his best to rest between nightmares and jumped awake at the slightest sounds. A loud thud outside finally woke him fully. Heart racing and sweat beading on his forehead Eddie trailed his fingers over the pistol Nancy had left him-
“Just in case someone or something tries to get in!” Nancy hushed Steve’s face of concern.
“I'm a big boy Harrington, I’ll be able to manage” Eddie groaned through his bandage change, courtesy of Robin.
“It's not you that I'm worried about, I'm worried about any one of us that walk through that door while you're in a fever dream and you blowing a hole through us!” Steve threw his hands up, begging the group to see the reason behind his hesitation. No one did. Tired of arguing, Steve plopped onto the milk crate chair and tried to avoid flinching at eddies groans as a bandage was pulled from a particularly nasty wound on his stomach.
“Sorry Eds, the blood dried and it got stuck.” Robin’s hands were shaking as she piled bloody bandages into a paper bag, changing her gloves to reapply the clean strips of gauze.
-The shadow that crossed the window was far too human. Nancy wasn't supposed to be by to check on him until just before sunset. Robin wouldn't be here till midnight for his antibiotics and bandage change. His heart was in his throat. His hand tightened around the grip on the pistol. The crack of a branch just outside and Eddie's hand was raised, shakily pointing the gun at the door, begging in his mind that it was just a fucking deer. Please let it be a fucking deer.
Three knocks. Two knocks. Four knocks.
The door cracked open as Eddie's hand dropped back to the makeshift mattress. Sweat soaking his already matted hair and the bundle of live wires slowly unknotting in his stomach. Steve.
Steve peaked his head through, stepping in quickly, checking for any on-lookers before shutting the door behind him.
“ Fuck man we need to put a bell on you. The magic knock code is great and all but the walk to the door is killer.” Eddie groaned trying desperately to wipe the sweat off his hands on his sweatpants (steve had insisted he recover in ‘comfy cozy’ clothes instead of jeans).
“I'm sorry man, these bags are heavy and I practically got lost on my way here.” Eddie finally lifted his head fully to look at steve. He had three paper bags, and a duffel bag all precariously stacked on top of one arm while his other hand held a jug of water.
“Is it Christmas already?” Eddie joked, raising his eyebrows at Steves's bags.
Steve rolled his eyes and set everything down in the corner that was lovingly referred to as the pantry.
“Besides what are you doing here? You're not on the rotation for today. Miss me that much already?” Eddie plopped his head back down, still too tired from his restless sleep and damn near heart attack to hold his head up any longer.
“Yea I, uh, I mean I didn't miss you that bad. Fuck not like that, I just wanted to bring you, uh, presents?” Steve ended his rustling of bags and turned around to show his prize. A comb, detangler, shampoo, and conditioner. The comb had just about as toothy of a grin as Steve wore.
“I figured after two weeks of bed rest and wet wipe bed baths you might be ready for something a little more, well. Clean.” Steve shrugged off his blush at Eddie's outright joy over the idea of finally getting these knots out of his mane.
“Harrington I could kiss you right now” Eddie pulled himself up to a fully sat-up position with a grimace and a grunt, which gave steve enough time to close his mouth and try to manly man his way out of the evergrowing blush on his cheeks.
“Well I don't think that's entirely necessary but the sentiment is appreciated, Munson. Let's see if we can get you up on your feet and over the bathroom yea?” Steve had set his hair care collection on the stool next to the door and extended an arm to Eddie. With many more grunts and a strong shoulder to lean on, Eddie was moved into the tiny bathroom attached to the lookout.
Barely enough room for a toilet, there was a small sink and a mirror that Eddie avoided peaking into. He plopped onto the toilet lid and peered up at Steve with boyish anticipation at finally brushing his hair. Nearly snatching the brush away, Eddie went straight for brushing. The first rrriiipp of hair had Steve lunging for the brush and snatching it back.
“Christ man you won't have any hair left if you treat it like that!” The horror on Steve's face was enough to make Eddie choke on a laugh.
“My sincerest apologies. I never intended to anger the hair gods and their mighty rituals.” Eddie mock bowed at the brush on the counter and leaned back against the wall.
“It is okay if... If I do it? I'll wash it and detangle it for you?” Steve looked like asking the question let alone doing the task was like hot coals under his feet. Eddie looked at him for a second, perplexed at the sudden shyness, the sudden urge to just let Steve do whatever .
“Yea man that's fine. You're the King of hair after all. Brush away.” Eddie turned away from steve, fighting off the feeling in his stomach that there was something new and soft between them. Something he had noticed only once before when steve leaned into him and didn't pull away when Eddie leaned back.
Steve, immediately got to work. Anything to busy his shaking hands. The bubble in his chest wasn't easing and he felt like he may scream if it didn't dissipate soon. He wet his hands and began running them through what he could of Eddie’s hair. The mats had gotten pretty bad and he honestly wasn't sure if he would be able to take care of it all tonight. Once satisfied with the wetness of the other boy's hair, he put a dollop of shampoo in his hands and began scrubbing it into the roots of eddies hair—fingernails scratching his scalp and working the sweat and remaining blood out.
They had tried to clean him up of course. All of them with wash rags and baby soap, trying to avoid any open wounds. They did a good enough job but it was time to get Eddie properly clean now.
Steve had been scratching Eddie’s scalp so absentmindedly, trying to get every inch, that he had failed to notice the way Eddie's head almost fell into his touch. The way his head followed the movement of his hands, his jaw hanging down, eyes closed, lips parted. Lips separated just under the bow, barely enough to be counted as open really, just open in a way that said ‘oh god right there’.
“Steve? Is everything okay? You've been scratching that same spot long enough to clean my brain man.” Eddie’s eyes were open now, peering up at Steve with a boyish grin and a gleam in his eyes that held a mysterious feeling of security.
“Yea I'm sorry, thought I felt some extra dirt there. Can you lean your head over the sink a little?” Eddie complied, with a little strain and a hand over his belly, protecting his bandages.
Steve let the water heat up before filing the small cup, rinsing out the suds that hid behind dark curls. Again running his fingers through, loosening tangles and freeing dirt and sweat. Conditioner came next. He tried to get as much as possible into the mat. Beginning to work through it with his fingers, avoiding any unnecessary tugging.
“I'm not tender-headed, I promise. I appreciate this Steve, I feel like a proper princess right now.” Eddie’s eyes were still closed. His shoulders relaxed and his general energy the calmest it had been in days.
“Gotcha sorry, just didn't want to tug too hard. And it's really no problem. I know you care about your hair even if you don't want to admit it.” Steve wished suddenly he could kiss the points where invisible strings pulled up at Eddie's lips. Wished he wasn't so afraid of how the other boy would respond to such a thing. Instead, he worked his tenderness into the mat in Eddie’s hair. Finally loosening up and starting to resemble a head of hair again.
“Alright man time to rinse and then I’ll start brushing and stuff.” Eddie moved over to the sink much easier this time, having stretched out his muscles and relaxed into the process of washing his hair. The conditioner came out with little struggle, taking the smaller knots with it. The main rats nest remained but Steve knew in his heart of hearts that with a little detangler, and some patience he would have it combed out with minimal damage.
They moved back the the ‘bed’ and Steve sat first, legs moved out for Eddie to sit between them. He patted the open spot there in response to Eddie’s questioning stare.
“If you wanted to get me in bed Harrison you could've just asked,” Eddie smirked down at Steve’s obvious blush. An eye roll was the only response Eddie got before he too lowered himself back into the bed.
The detangler was Steves's secret to everything hair related. No matter how bad the knot, tangle, rat's nest, or all-over catastrophe was- the detangler could solve it. He started away from the last rat’s nest. Went around the sides of Eddie’s hair, gently running a comb through all the little knots and trying desperately to remind the hair strands of the curls they once held. He ran his fingers through after, not really for any purpose, mostly just to feel Eddie’s hair. To have an intimate moment just to himself. He didn't need to be ashamed of this. It’s just hair after all. He is just doing a favor, for a friend, a friend with nice hair. He can appreciate that, can't he? Appreciate running his fingers through the freshly washed hair of the boy he nursed to health, watched suffer unknown trauma, and wished so desperately he could kiss it all away. That’s okay, right?
The mat was the final creature standing. The beast of knots resembled the tangle of feelings he held in his chest. The detangler soaked in fine, the comb would be the issue.
“I can feel your hands shaking Steve, it’s really okay. Believe it or not, I've felt worse recently.” Eddie's attempt at soothing Steve only made him feel worse. He wanted so badly to fix this, he just hated the idea of hurting Eddie in the process.
The comb bit into the bottom of the mat, pulling at the edges and trying to sweet talk the tangles into letting down their guards. He made careful movements, avoiding any force that might result in a fraction of pain. He drifted again to his worries—both about hurting Eddie's hair and wanting to wake up next to it. Wanting to remove the tangles that remained from the hellish world they both barely escaped as well as the ones that snuck in through a good night's rest. He wanted to comb out those tangles every morning while Eddie ate cereal and teased him like he teased his hair. He wanted to smell eddies hairspray like perfume on a pillowcase. His chest ached with the want to just pull Eddie back so that he rested against his chest, so he could finally protect him from knots in his hair and all the evil in the world.
Steve was pulled from his thoughts by a groan. Not one of pain from a tangle tugged too harshly. Not one from a bandage sticking or a cut reopening. A groan from his hair being tugged, not painfully per se, but tugged in a way that went straight south.
Steve’s hands stopped where they were. Both boy’s tensed against each other, Eddie squeezing his eyes shut like the world was suddenly too bright.
“I'm so sorry.” Both boys spoke at once. One apologizing for pulling the hair on the other’s hair, and one apologizing for moaning because of it. Eddie slowly opened his eyes and turned to look at Steve. Once they met each other's gaze they both broke out into laughter.
“Did you just moan at me?” Eddie's blush was cute enough to kiss. Eddie turned back around and dropped his face in his hands.
“Oh man, I am so sorry. That was a total accident. Lets just... Never speak of this again.” the giggles died down and Steve went back to detangling Eddie's hair.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Alright, and you're done! Hair restored to its former beastly glory!” Steve tossed the comb down on the bed and floofed Eddie’s hair with his fingertips. Eddie’s hand shot up to run through the length.
“Uh, I really could kiss you. Thank you again so much Steve.” Eddie pulled his hair in front of his face in the same way he did when being bashful and smelled it. Clean. Clean and tangle free.
The boys sat in peaceful silence for quite some time. Eddie to the left of Steve, both leaned back on the mattress, just, existing together. Eddie’s mind ran wild with the idea of just stretching his hand over, grasping Steve’s, and letting the trauma of the past melt away in his touch. Steve didn’t know the other boy’s thoughts but was undoubtedly thinking the same.
Finally, after some time of silence, Steve mumbled something so quiet Eddie wasn't sure he even said anything.
“What was that? I didn't hear you?” Eddie turned to look at Steve, who now had a deep blush running over his cheeks and was looking straight ahead like no one else was there.
“Where do you feel stuff?” Steve was barely speaking above a whisper. Eddie sat for a moment, contemplating his question.
“Like? The bites?” Eddie wasn't super sure why Steve would be asking this as if he couldn't see the lingering bites and bandages that held him at the waist
“No, no. Here is anxiety.” Steve said, pointing gently at his bottom left rib where the ants start. “It's here for me.” Eddie pressed his finger into the base of his throat. Where the hornets live.
Steve kept anger in his breastbone and held it in clenched fists at his side. The other felt it in his throat, ready to tear out, bark, and bite all in one. Steve felt sadness in his shoulders that hung with the weight of the world. Eddie felt it in his lungs. Watery and swelling with his breath, swishing against his sternum and slamming into his spine. Happiness was held at the tip of Steve’s nose, felt in his chest, like a bubble of air begging to break into a deep belly laugh. Eddie felt it in his toes, crawling up his legs like birds migrating north.
They played this game until they came to Love, to which Steve whispered that he felt it here- pointing at his jugular (terrified of what might come and what could be). What if it’s not the same he thought, what if Eddie feels it somewhere else, somewhere more, sensical? What if it is a flash fire for him, not a slow burn? What if it is congealing in one place instead of radiating? Steve tries to change topics, flight response (collar bone).
Eddie takes Steve’s hands and puts them over his ribs and says, “Everywhere, everywhere, like a sun is trying to escape me like I am consumed and you are filling up where it used to be empty.”
Steve rolls his eyes, “don't be ridiculous, humans are 99% empty space” and he laughs, a nervous laugh (spiders down his spine), but Eddie holds his gaze.
“Everywhere,” Eddie repeats.