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1
“Well, how about we meet up right this afternoon instead of tomorrow then? Yeah, should be fine, just a moment ...” Richard checks his calendar. “Just as I thought, no problem at all. 4 o'clock? - Alright. See you later, then. Bye.”
Having cut the call, his eyes linger for a moment longer on the dates in the calendar. He's put a minuscule L near the 18th. Another week until then. A little warm flutter in his stomach.
Quite happy to have a programme for the day, he sets about clearing away his breakfast things. Now for placing that internet order for some books and two birthday presents. Make a mental note to get in some gift wrap from the shops. No use ordering that online, it will only arrive creased.
Last, quick check on financial situation. Everything seems to be in order.
Just an ordinary morning. He brushes his teeth, then laces up his running shoes. Better get on with it before the day gets too hot.
About an hour later, rounding a corner just two streets away from home, he encounters a commotion. Somebody is bending down, unloading a taxi cab, surrounded by several vaguely familiar figures.
When that somebody has set down his bag and unfurls his upper body he towers over the others for a moment before swooping down on each for warm hugs of greeting.
And Richard freezes. It's not the 18th yet, is it?
His first impulse is instant flight, just running away in the other direction. He's dressed for it.
But he has already been spotted. “Hey, Rich, over here!” Aidan yells. “Look who's arrived!”
Nothing for it. He is acutely aware of his sweaty, dishevelled self as he runs towards the group of his colleagues – for it is them – to welcome Lee, back from the U.S., a week earlier than scheduled.
“Well, hello!” he chokes out and then stops. To his surprise, his eyes are beginning to prickle and when Lee wraps his long arms around him in greeting, he feels a great sob of relief rise in his throat. He makes an effort to keep it down but Lee must have felt something for he eyes him curiously when he lets go.
Oh God, now his eyes are actually welling up and threaten to spill. It's lucky that he's so sweaty already.
“Welcome home!” he manages to add, wiping his face and clearing his throat. “Just in time for hayfever season!”
“Oh!” Lee chuckles in sympathy. “Didn't they give you a whole lot of shots for that last year?”
“They did, yeah. Hasn't really worked, apparently.”
“It's really bad this year!” Adam pipes up helpfully. “You'll have to resort to the drugs, or you'll keep sneezing your Thorin face off again and Peter won't like that at all.”
“So here's where you're staying this time?” Richard asks Lee, looking round, trying to sound normal.
“Yeah. Right here, see, 3rd floor. A friend of Dean's moved out of here last month and he fixed it all up for me. So I had to be back here a bit earlier than planned. - It's a slightly larger apartment than the one I had last time, while the rent is a bit lower, even. Did you ever see my last apartment, Rich?”
“Don't think I did, actually. You always pleaded it was too small to hold a drinking party there.”
“Well, then you are hereby invited for – say … Saturday night? You all are, of course!” Lee turns to the others. “Little housewarming. Though I probably should take a look inside first. See if it's fit to receive guests at such short notice. You got the keys, Dean?“
“Sure.” Dean hands them over, along with a sheet of paper which Lee thoughtlessly folds and shoves into his pocket.
“Well, then …“ He picks up his bags. “Thanks for the welcome committee, y'all … then I guess I'll ...“
“Oh, let us all take a look for a second!“ Aidan pleads and all the others chime in. “Oh yeah, please! We can be the judges of whether there's enough room for us all!“
Richard alone takes a step back. “I should head home and take a shower.“ he pronounces. “See y'all tomorrow then!“
Lee looks straight at him. “You could shower at my new place but – well, I can't be sure the water and everything's running ok yet. So maybe not today. - D'you have a long way home from here?“
The last sentence comes out rather clumsily and Lee looks shifty, as if he'd rather not said it. No. As if he needn't have said it.
“Just two more streets. I'm on New Elm Road.“ Richard answers and smiles. “Besides, I've got a meeting with my voice coach later. I should go, really.“
That much is true. As of this morning he has.
“So. Goodbye, all of you, see you soon!“
His thoughts he keeps to himself, as he jogs home slowly.
He's fairly sure that Lee is perfectly aware of where he, Richard, lives. Why does he pretend otherwise?
And what the heck's with the crying?
He'd had no idea he'd been missing the man that much. None.
2
When Richard gets back home from his meeting that night, his throat feels slightly sore. He therefore chooses not to repeat his newly set vocal exercises tonight, but just go through the notes he's made today and try to enjoy a pitcher of this herbal concoction from the chemist's that's supposed to help his vocal chords relax. Standing in his kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, his mind goes back to this morning's events.
He doesn't think the others noticed anything out of the way about him. Lee, though, probably did. He's perceptive like that, Richard has noticed it before. Then again, when you press your body against another, it's hard not to notice the other body being racked by a giant sob. If Lee hadn't let him go, he would have bawled right into his shoulder.
What happened there, for f-'s sake?
He remembers the jolt of joyful shock, the unexpectedness of seeing Lee in this place at this point in time, here and now.
He remembers the sheer, overwhelming sense of relief of seeing him at last, finally, the end of the long, long wait … it's only in retrospect that he sees how long it's been for him.
Well, what does all of this say about him?
Richard's always been all for honesty. Towards himself and others, those whom it has concerned, that is. He's had to experience the havoc honesty can wreak on a relationship. He's actually had more than two people inform him that honesty can be taken too far, that you're not dishonest if you occasionally leave things out of an equation. He hasn't bought it. For him it's always been all or nothing.
That's why he's tied into a knot here.
He's in the middle of the job of his lifetime. It's vital that he delivers.
And while he's also in the middle of making friends – not to mention forging useful contacts - if he's perfectly honest, this is not the time and the place for acquiring a boyfriend, even if his eyes are the kindest, the most beautiful Richard has ever encountered.
Also --- he's made this vow. Once or twice. Maybe more. Because this sort of thing will happen to him. Time and time again. He sighs.
The water is boiling. Richard pours, smells and wrinkles his nose. Out with the natural sweetener, nice bottle of agave nectar. Bitter drink makes bitter thoughts, anything alcoholic being an exception, of course. Now there's an idea. However, he doesn't really like to drink on his lonesome. Plus all he has is some beer and some red wine, none of which promise to turn this medicinal-smelling drink into an alluring cocktail.
Richard checks his watch. 10 minutes for brewing. He'll just slip into something more comfortable, after which he'll see if he can't find anything on TV that will make him forget what it is he's drinking.
Soon he's flopped down on his sofa, zapping through the channels, too restless for a movie, not in the mood for some episode of a show.
3
The doorbell rings.
And Richard knows. He's sometimes psychic like that. Is he pleased? Of course he is. Heart beating loudly and everything.
“Hey, you found my flat!”
“Well, you mentioned it this morning, and Adam later let slip the number of your building, and … no, well, to be perfectly honest, I had a general idea of where you keep before all that. Ah. That's actually why I jumped at the opportunity of this new apartment. I mean, nice area of town and all.”
Is Lee blushing, Richard wonders.
“Oh. I see … Well, then, just come on in, sit down somewhere, here – so how have you been settling in over at yours? What is – did you bring a towel?”
“Oh, you know. You should always carry a towel, they say. For safety?”
“Yeah, I remember. That was a great book.”
“I think I just saw the movie.”
“Martin was in it, wasn't he? Though I don't seem to remember any towels in the film. It was a long time ago.”
“No, I don't remember much of it either. Maybe I got the towel idea from somewhere else.”
“No, no, that was definitely in the book, so it was probably in the film, too.”
That sort of talk seems to get them nowhere. There is a slight pause.
Then Richard starts “Can I get you anything to …” and Lee begins at the same time “Actually I brought that towel ...”
They both stop, laughing. Lee suggests that he finish Richard's sentence and Richard finish his. They laugh some more at this.
“So, can I get you anything to … smoke your worries away?” Lee proclaims.
“Um – not quite there, I'm afraid. My turn now.” Richard takes a deep breath. “Actually I brought that towel … because … in case you cry again I can dry your tears with it. In case I cry, I mean. Again.”
Lee gives him a little grin. “Wrong. Besides, my shirt here's much softer. It's perfect for the job, I've used it often. Just in case you ever ...
Richard makes as if to move, then stops and swallows. “I'm really sorry for what happened this morning, Lee. I don't know what came over me. I was just so surprised to see you, I hadn't expected … sometimes I think I'm going through some ... (he is going to say: hormonal change, but it sounds too silly) … some phase … or something. The other day I had to switch off a film because it made me too sad. And I usually love those kind of films!”
“You don't have to be sorry, Richard! All this zooming around the world, people popping in and out of your life, then the hard work on the set ... it's enough to make anyone insecure in their souls. You need to find some – well, like an anchoring place within yourself … oh God, I don't half know what I'm talking about -”
“Ah, I think -”
“No, but what I'm meaning to say is - you know that story about the American Indians … they can't move their bodies faster than their souls? If they do, they have to sit down and wait for their souls to catch up. That's what's happening to me a lot of the time. It's part of the job, I guess, but you have to give yourself a break now and then.”
“That sounds familiar, yeah. Running does that for me. Or skiing. Or -”
“Or getting out with friends.”
“Or that. - Would you like to go out?”
“Well, if I'm honest, I'd really like to take a shower first. That's why I brought the towel. - 'Cause I was right this morning in my suspicions about the water supply in my apartment. It's faulty, and I only found out after crashing for a couple of hours, and then I tried to call Dean and then his friend, and by the time I remembered the sheet Dean had given me this morning, it was too late to get to anyone in charge of the house … And I'm beginning to feel rather sticky and … I thought, maybe you wouldn't mind if I used your shower? I'd clean it up after! Please?”
Lee is sounding a bit exhausted by now.
“Don't worry, you're welcome to it!”
“Thanks, man.”
“But Dean, you couldn't reach him? That's strange.”
“No, it's not. They've all gone to spend the night at some famously secluded beach or other. Smoking their worries away, if you get my meaning.”
“Ah. That would explain why they didn't ask me along.”
Lee snorts with laughter. “Probably. They asked me, but I declined. I wanted to get my apartment in order and get some sleep. They left right after nearly wrecking the place.”
“They did?”
“Well, Aidan broke a cupboard door that had been stuck.” Lee yawns. “But I can still use it.”
“Maybe I can help you out there. I've got quite a useful little collection of tools and I've fixed a few cupboard doors in my life. – – Lee?”
Lee's eyes seem to have fallen shut. Now he opens them again.
“Oh. Rich, I'm sorry! I didn't get much sleep on the plane. I should just get that shower and then head home to bed. I really need to get my body clock back on track.”
Richard shows him into the shower. “Did you bring any clean clothes?”
“No. I forgot. Doesn't matter though. I'll just put these on again.”
“Lee, listen. I could look out a T-shirt for you and a pair of boxers, if you like. And you could … well, crash here, on the sofa, I mean. I've been told it's pretty comfortable. Then - you wouldn't have to walk home again?”
“Ah, Richard … that's so kind of you to offer, but I really couldn't …”
“You could sleep as long as you like! I've got nothing on tomorrow. We could walk over to yours and I could help you get in everything for the housewarming party. While you see to the water supply's being fixed ...”
“Oh God! I'd forgotten about all of that completely! – Alright. Probably makes sense, too. Thank you so much. I'll just ...”
“I'll leave you to it then. Help yourself to any soap and shampoo you like. I'll put some clothes right in front of the door, ok? And I'll find you a toothbrush.”
“Thank you, Rich.”
When Lee comes out of the shower, he finds the sofa made up into an extremely inviting-looking bed, complete with pillow and duvet that Richard seems to have just finished arranging.
“Rich, you didn't have to ...”
“It was no trouble.”
“Thank you!” And just like that, Lee steps over to him and kisses his cheek, hands warm and surprisingly light on his shoulders. Then he draws away, yawning, and sits down on his new bed.
“Ah, Rich …”
“Yeah?” Voice only slightly shaky.
“Do I have to drink this?” Lee points to a mug by the bedside. “It smells horrible!”
“Oh, sorry, no, that's mine. Tastes horrible as well. Let me clear that away, there you go. It was supposed to be for my voice but I think I'll go back to my usual tea with honey routine. -”
Stop babbling, the man is tired, he reminds himself.
“You do that. Anything smelling like this … would put anyone off using their voice for anything … but swearing.”
Lee's voice is becoming heavy with tiredness.
“Good night, Lee.”
“You too, Rich. Sweet dreams. And thanks again.”
Richard turns out the light and leaves the room.
As he gets ready for bed he feels curiously light. Just knowing Lee is close, right there in the next room, puts him at an ease he hasn't felt in a long time.
He'll just take it from here. To wherever this is going to lead them.