Chapter Text
Something was irritating.
Well, for Kei Tsukishima most things in life were pretty irritating, but this particular thing, that had been weighing on him for the longest time, was just about enough to make him snap. Though he knew that if he did snap, it would make his situation even more irritating and-...
“Tsukki, your face! Is something wrong?”
“Eh? What’s wrong with my face?”
He had been thinking about it too hard again. He could usually catch himself before he scowled about it too much, but once Yamaguchi had pointed it out and he glanced at himself in a nearby window, he realized he was wearing a scowl that could rival Kageyama’s… and that was probably the most irritating thing of all. He sighed.
“You sure you’re okay?” Yamaguchi asked casually, punctuating the question by sticking a droopy fry in his mouth.
“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima grumbled, getting back to his burger with a pouty bite.
“Sorry, Tsukki.” he responded, though the phrase was more so a given than an actual apology at this point.
Tsukishima went on to hide any outstanding irritation behind his meal, eating away the tiresome feeling as he listened to Yamaguchi prattle on about… something. Honestly, at this point in his life, Tsukishima was having a hard time focusing on anything that Yamaguchi was saying, finding himself more distracted by watching how his lips shaped around the words or how his freckles made cute arcs over his cheeks when he got excited and started smiling. Though when he caught himself doing that, his mind stumbled into that irritation again. It was an endless cycle, really.
“Anyway, did you catch that drama I keep telling you to watch?”
Tsukishima blinked, shaking his head as if he had only caught on to the conversation just then.
“What? No.”
“Really? But it’s so good!” Yamaguchi whined, shoving back the rest of his fries and licking his fingers clean. “I mean, I don’t know how much you like baseball, but the story is just… ah, I don’t know how to describe it. You just have to see it and you’ll understand!”
“It’s not as if I’ve had the time to watch something so long, you know? Exams and all. And now that I think about it, you shouldn’t have been binging that either.” he said, squinting slightly as he finished.
“Aw, Tsukki! I did fine, you know that!” Yamaguchi said breezily, waving off Tsukishima’s scolding with his hand.
Tsukishima shrugged, and picked his meal back up to finish it off. That was a fair enough point. Yamaguchi could get distracted by stuff like that pretty easily but when it came down to serious business, he was dependable. It was one of the many traits that fed into Tsukishima’s irritation. That bubbling, fluttering irritation…
“Anyway! It’s summer vacation now, we can do what we want.” Yamaguchi continued, happily grinning. “And I just so happen to have seventy episodes of a certain sports’ drama right here with me!”
“S-Seventy…” repeated Tsukishima, nearly losing his composure at just the thought of sitting through that many episodes of something. “You don’t seriously think I’m gonna waste my entire vacation watching some show about baseball, do you?” he asked, regaining some sting in his voice.
“Look, we don’t have to watch it all. I just want you to give it a chance.”
Tsukishima sighed, wondering if it was really such a good idea to give into Yamaguchi’s whims like that. He had recently discovered that he was making it far too easy for Yamaguchi to rope him in into things these days and Tsukishima didn’t like it very much. He didn’t like how he was slowly slipping into a place where he had no control over how he felt. A place where all he really wanted was to see Yamaguchi’s face light up at the sight of some silly sports’ drama. The stupid fluttering nagged at his stomach again.
“Tch.” was the only sound he made before rolling his eyes and looking down at his empty fast food tray. “You’re buying snacks then.”
“Tsukki!” exclaimed Yamaguchi, happily.
Tsukishima forced away the twitch at the corner of his lips with all his might. There was no way in hell something so small and simple was going to make him smile.
+++
“This…” Tsukishima frowned at the DVD Yamaguchi held up for him. There was something really familiar about it and he wasn’t sure what it was.
“This will be your life for the next wee-...” Yamaguchi was cut off by Tsukishima’s glare. He fidgeted for a second before fixing his sentence. “...-whenever!” he decided on.
Tsukishima just rolled his eyes and lazily let his body fall to the couch. He crossed his arms and simply waited for Yamaguchi to prep everything. This was his idea after all, Tsukishima had nothing to do with this. However, it did continue to bug him why that sports’ drama looked so damn familiar.
The blond felt the couch dip next to him and he quickly saw a bowl of popcorn appear under his nose.
“Ugh, don’t shove that in my face.” grumbled Tsukishima.
“Sorry, Tsukki. Popcorn?” Yamaguchi offered with bright eyes. Tsukishima scoffed but took a handful anyway. Yamaguchi let the bowl sit between them and grabbed the remote, hitting play.
“Alright! Now, it starts off a bit slow, but you’ll really get into it after fifteen episodes or so.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Tsukishima was about to protest some more, but got immediately distracted by Yamaguchi’s happy face lit by the dim television. There were those freckle arcs again. Goddamn it.
The irritation plucked at Tsukishima’s mind so he decided to just give into this whole sports’ drama thing as a well needed distraction. He braced himself for the ride…
“So, Rose is dating Tama, but she has to go back to America before the big game, and Kyou is angry about this, why…?” Tsukishima blinked slowly as he stared at the DVD menu in front of him. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew they had watched way too much of this show already, and it was really late, but he had surprisingly become just a tiny bit interested, and was trying to get it all straight.
“Yeah, yeah!” Yamaguchi excitedly began. How on earth did this guy still have so much energy? “Kyou is worried that Rose leaving will affect Tama’s pitch.”
“Sounds a bit extreme.” Tsukishima said flatly. Everybody was so hot blooded in this show, it got on his nerves. “And why is Kyou so caught up in Tama’s love life anyway?”
“Because Kyou is the captain! He cares about his team and wants them to always be at their best!” Yamaguchi explained, clearly an admiration in his voice for this Kyou character. Tsukishima scoffed away a snicker.
“Pft, sounds like Kyou has a thing for Tama, quite honestly.”
And then it hit him, the memory of where he had seen this show before mixed in with the sound of Yamaguchi laughing out a long drawn out “Whaaaat?”. Yes, he was sure of it now.
“You must be tired, Tsukki. Wanna go to bed?”
Tsukishima tried to ignore how the casual question made his mouth dry almost instantly. Then he remembered that, duh, they had been friends for forever now and Yamaguchi always slept over.
“Yeah.” he said through a sigh, groaning when he saw how late it was on the clock. “Two am, seriously?” he grumbled to himself. He heard Yamaguchi laugh off to the side.
“I said you’d be hooked!”
Tsukishima froze for a second, only to shoot Yamaguchi a cold glare. “Shut up, Yamaguchi.” he said, but the freckled boy wasn’t exactly wrong. They’d watch more tomorrow, he was sure.
Yamaguchi went to the bathroom to brush his teeth while Tsukishima laid out the spare futon. It was only a second later that he dropped to his bed, finally breathing right for what felt like the first time that day. Tsukishima wasn’t totally aware of when he started feeling so tense around Yamaguchi. He knew he didn’t always feel this way, but over time, over the long days of hanging out, practicing volleyball, watching movies and just being together, Tsukishima had really started to notice just how much Yamaguchi had been growing. Suddenly it was like he was gaining more confidence, getting more sure of himself, actually being kind of… cool. It’s what brought his stomach flopping around like a load of laundry in a dryer whenever Yamaguchi got too close.
Tsukishima never thought he’d feel this way for anybody, really. The fact that he was starting to develop a pretty serious crush on his best friend just stalked him and pounced when he least expected it, but how was he supposed to handle something like that? How long was he supposed to put up with something like that? Would he keep feeling this way if they kept being as they always been? Would it start to hurt? What if it stopped tomorrow?
They had only a few months left of high school, but then what? There were just way too many factors that ran a marathon through Tsukishima’s mind whenever he got a spare second to think about it, and all of these doubts and questions just made him believe that ever telling Yamaguchi was out of the question.
He breathed deeply. Hearing Yamaguchi shuffling around in the bathroom signalled his quick arrival, so he braced himself for the impending tenseness by reaching for his laptop and distracting himself again.
“Oh thanks, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi said upon seeing the futon. Tsukishima grunted out his acknowledgement, trying not to pay attention at how soft Yamaguchi’s voice sounded brushing past his ears in the wee hours of the morning.
Tsukishima typed away at his laptop, the sudden thought passing his mind at finally looking up the reason why he had known about that baseball drama. It really only took him two seconds, because once he typed in the name, a million and one pieces of fanworks came out of the woodwork. He looked down at Yamaguchi who was patting at his blankets about ready to settle in and cleared his throat to nab his attention.
“Tsukki?”
Tsukishima smirked. Yamaguchi was so wide eyed and innocent that something like this would flip him out for sure, and the blond was amused already.
“You know when I said that Kyou clearly has a thing for Tama…?” he asked, his question raised in delighted suspicion. This was gonna be rich!
Yamaguchi snorted. “Pfft! Yeah, why?”
Tsukishima let out smug laugh and turned his computer around, showing Yamaguchi the piles and piles of fanart he had just found of Kyou and Tama, some more explicit than others, but it was the vast amount at that was the funny part and Yamaguchi’s face made it even funnier!
“Tsukki!” he exclaimed, lunging over and grabbing at the laptop screen. “Oh my God, there’s so much of it! I’m never going to be able to watch these guys the same way ever again.”
Tsukishima laughed, and he couldn’t help but laugh harder as he saw Yamaguchi’s eyes widen at just how not innocent Kyou and Tama seemed now. The fanworks really only got worse as he scrolled down and Tsukishima figured that was probably enough for one day. He tried his best to settle his laughter.
“I thought the show looked familiar. Pretty sure I saw these pictures floating around before. Honestly, Yamaguchi, you had no idea?”
Yamaguchi stared at the place the laptop screen once was, mouth agape as the last of his innocence escaped into the air with a pathetic whimper. Tsukishima snorted this time, about to close his laptop when Yamaguchi suddenly stopped him.
“So let me get this straight…” the freckled boy began, climbing onto the bed next to Tsukishima to see the screen again. Tsukishima’s eyes went wide at the gesture for a split second before quickly getting back to normal. “...people just… draw this stuff?”
Tsukishima blinked. Did he… dare answer that?
“Well, yes. Don’t tell me this is new to you, Yamaguchi. You’ve been on the internet before.”
“Yeah but like… why?” Yamaguchi was really serious about getting to the bottom of this. Why, indeed?
“I don’t know!” Tsukishima snapped “Don’t ask me why people dig way too far into the subtext of shows and make this stuff up.”
“But like-” Yamaguchi reached over and began scrolling down again, stopping on a fairly suggestive picture of Kyou and Tama making out in the rain. “-why is there so much Kyou and Tama here?”
Tsukishima couldn’t believe that Yamaguchi didn’t see why. Had they even watched the same show? Sure Tsukishima wasn’t really into fanart like this, but even he could see that there was more to Kyou and Tama’s relationship than just being teammates, and then he realized just how much he was projecting and it nearly made him throw up. Still, Yamaguchi wasn’t letting up on this issue!
“Are you serious, Yamaguchi? The fact that Kyou gets so jealous when Tama starts dating Rose-”
“That’s because Kyou probably wanted a girlfriend too!”
“Well what about when Rose left the first time, and Kyou gave Tama that hug?”
“They’re friends, Tsukki! Friends hug!”
“For that long? I swear that scene lasted for minutes.”
“They were doing that for dramatic effect!”
“Really!?”
Yamaguchi didn’t respond that time and merely continued to scroll.
“Would you stop scrolling already!”
“But Tsukki, it’s fascinating! I had no idea that people were taking all of those moments and turning it into stuff like this. Whoa!” Yamaguchi stopped on a particular image of Kyou and Tama going at it outside, but Yamaguchi recognized the scene and pointed directly at the picture, unphased at this point. “Do you remember this scene, Tsukki?” he asked.
“What the hell?”
“No, I know what they’re doing here, but look at the setting. It’s the scene where Tama was acting up and Kyou confronted him about it.”
“And?” Tsukishima really hoped Yamaguchi had a point to this. He was beginning to regret starting this joke in the first place.
“Well, that scene always reminded me of when I confronted you at the training camp.” he explained but then immediately started laughing. Tsukishima flinched at the sudden change in mood. “Ha ha ha! I’m sorry, Tsukki! I just thought of how funny it would if people had taken our conversation and just turned it into this. Ha ha!” Yamaguchi’s laughter was uncontrollable and he even began lightly thumping his fist at Tsukishima’s arm.
Tsukishima felt his eye twitch. He didn’t see the hilarity in this situation at all, though he was probably biased.
“Wouldn’t that be so funny, Tsukki!?”
Tsukishima didn’t say anything, he was far too busy sinking into the hole he was digging for himself in his brain.
“Just think about it!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, lowering his voice for the impending dramatization. “Step it up, Tsukki. Oh, Yamaguchi you’re so cool.” and then Yamaguchi went on to make dramatic kissing sounds as he wrapped his arms around himself and squirmed in a suggestive way right next to Tsukishima.
“My God, shut up, Yamaguchi!” the blond finally spat, making use of Yamaguchi’s sudden motions to give him a shove and roll him straight off the bed.
"Waagh!” Yamaguchi yelped as he hit the floor. He recovered quickly though and poked his head up over the bed, the giggles still getting the better of him. He watched as Tsukishima snapped his laptop shut and set it on his nightstand, swiftly bringing the blankets up over his head as he ignored any other attempt at conversation. There was a quiet moment, Yamaguchi had stopped laughing and Tsukishima was pretty much steaming under the covers. He was frustrated with a lot of things at that point and didn’t trust himself to talk. It was late, he was tired and this whole thing was ridiculous.
“Sorry, Tsukki.” was all Tsukishima heard, spoken as softly as ever.
Though, he could tell that apology was genuine…
+++
Tsukishima felt like crap when he woke up, eyes heavy and dry. It was mostly from watching too much television the day before, but it was also because he had tossed and turned all night, unable to settle himself down enough to relax. There had just been something about Yamaguchi laughing at what he did that pissed him off a lot, as if the very thought of the two of them kissing was fundamentally hilarious. Unable to cope with the bubbling rage, he sat up, meeting the way-too-early sun engulfing his bedroom. He took a deep breath, trying to bottle up all that irritation once again. It was gonna be one of those days, wasn’t it?
Huffing through his nose, Tsukishima laid back down on his side, mindlessly looking down at Yamaguchi as he settled in. His eyes slid slowly over the boy’s relaxed features, and the sight both made him feel at peace and restless all at once. He could get over this, right?
Soon there was a weak groan and Yamaguchi began to stir, his eyes fluttering open and falling on Tsukishima right away.
“Uwah… morning already, Tsukki?” he asked, voice charmingly full of sleep. Tsukishima twisted his face into a grimace, he couldn’t handle early morning Yamaguchi right now… it was always too damn adorable. “Aha, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Yamaguchi teased.
Tsukishima sat up and threw his pillow in Yamaguchi’s face. “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”
“Sorry, Tsukki!”
Tsukishima was pleased that they could settle into routine once again...
+++
Tsukishima managed to supply Yamaguchi with some cereal and the freckled boy tried to make more plans with the blond over breakfast.
“Hey! We can watch more of the show over at my house today, if you want.”
“Sure.” Tsukishima answered flatly, drinking back the rest of his milk soon after. “My parents are coming back from their trip today though, I won’t be over until later.”
“That’s fine!” Yamaguchi was positively beaming for some reason. He had gotten way more sleep than Tsukishima had, that much was certain.
The routine continued and Yamaguchi took off soon after eating, though it didn’t feel like they were apart for very long and Tsukishima was staring down episode twenty-five of that dumb drama before he knew it.
“So, Rose came back from America with Jennifer, and Tama is upset because…”
“Because Jennifer is Rose’s best friend and they spend a lot of time together, so Tama is upset that he can’t spend time with Rose!”
“And Kyou is jealous again, because…”
“He’s not jealous! He wants Tama to get his head in the game!”
“Yamaguchi, this is barely about baseball anymore.”
“No, no! A tournament arc is coming up and it’s really good, just wait!”
Tsukishima sighed and hit stop on the laptop, leaning back against the wall where it met the bed he was sitting on. He looked positively worn out.
“No, more…”
Yamaguchi giggled. “Alright, we’ll stop for now.” he said, getting up off the floor where he had been sitting, picking up some snack wrappers once he was up. Tsukishima just stared at the ceiling. It was getting late again and he was positively sleep deprived. He was sure nothing would come between him and sleep tonight.
“Oh yeah, I completely forgot that we were getting the futon cleaned so I guess we’re gonna have to share tonight.”
Nevermind, then.
“What? Ugh, I can just go home…” said Tsukishima, calmly speaking through the sputtering in his chest.
“Wha? Tsukki, it’s late. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” Yamaguchi kept talking through his tidying, making it look so easy.
But it was easy, wasn’t it? It was supposed to be. They’d only be laying next to each other and it wouldn’t mean anything, though, that fact stung just the tiniest bit. Still, he was ridiculously tired, he was certain he’d be out like a light regardless. He could do this.
“Fine.” Tsukishima said, not in the mood for talking anymore and immediately setting his glasses aside, turning his back on Yamaguchi and sinking under the covers. Yamaguchi blinked at the display, a bit surprised that Tsukishima had tucked himself in so quickly. His expression drooped slightly, hanging on a frown as he finished up his tidying and turned off the light, leaving only the silver light of the moon coming in through the window to guide him back to bed.
The room fell quiet, just the soft sounds of Yamaguchi padding over to the bed reached Tsukishima’s ears. The blond braced himself, gently taking in a deep breath as he felt the weight shift in the mattress. He waited for Yamaguchi to lay down, but instead there was just a pause, deadly silent, and suddenly, Tsukishima felt a warm hand on his shoulder.
“Hey, Tsukki…” he heard Yamaguchi say, apprehensively. Tsukishima flinched. “You’re okay, right? You’ve been kind of on edge for a little while…”
Of course he noticed that.
“I’m fine.” Tsukishima stated frankly.
“You know if… something’s bothering you, you can talk to me right? You don’t have to always keep stuff to yourself. You should know that by now.” Yamaguchi’s voice was painfully soft, but it only made Tsukishima tense up. He could feel Yamaguchi’s grip tightening on his shoulder.
“Is it about graduation?” he asked.
He wasn’t going to stop, was he? Tsukishima prayed for the will power to handle this.
“No.” he responded after a moment.
Yamaguchi hesitated before speaking again. Tsukishima could hear him swallow and after another aborted word, he listened to Yamaguchi continue.
“You know, Tsukki, I’m… a bit afraid about graduation. I know it’s months away, but that’ll go by faster than we think, I’m sure. I haven’t even really thought much about what I want to do…”
Tsukishima didn’t respond right away, but after a moment, he turned himself to look up at the sitting Yamaguchi. The freckled boy took back his hand at the shift, though he didn’t turn to meet Tsukishima’s gaze.
“You never said anything about that before.”
“No, I know. It just hits me sometimes, you know?”
Tsukishima stayed still. He was hardly equipped for such a loaded conversation.
“It’s really nothing to worry about. High school will be over, then it’s college and then a job. None of those things are particularly scary or difficult.” he said, plainly.
“I guess…” Yamaguchi’s voice started to shrink. He was still sitting up with his knees pulled against him and it looked like he just continued to warp into the shape of a ball more and more.
“Tsukki I-...”
Tsukishima lifted himself up on his elbows in interest, despite himself. His body was just moving on its own at that point, not really knowing how to handle this situation. He wasn’t even sure what brought it on in the first place.
“...-I don’t want to be too far away from you.”
“What the hell?” was all he could say, as usual.
Yamaguchi jumped and looked at Tsukishima, finally making eye contact as he waved both of his hands in front of himself.
“W-well not in a creepy way, or anything! I didn’t mean it like-... I mean!” he stammered.
Tsukishima stared at Yamaguchi, his expression blank though his mind had already started sprinting. He felt his own hand jut up to capture Yamaguchi’s wrist. Soon after he slid up to sit, reaching Yamaguchi’s eye level, still not breaking eye contact and Yamaguchi went completely stiff. Tsukishima wasn’t even sure what he was trying to accomplish. He just wanted Yamaguchi to calm down, but he also kind of wanted to hear more.
“What do you mean?” he asked, though his voice probably had more bite than intended. Yamaguchi flinched.
“I just mean… You’re my best friend Tsukki. Aha, you probably don’t like me telling you that, but it’s true. I was really lucky to be able to go to high school with you, but I just get scared sometimes that, well… we’ll just separate after graduation and never talk to each other again.”
Tsukishima’s grip tightened, though Yamaguchi didn’t seem to notice, he was too busy looking away from Tsukishima at that point. As the blond tried to process it all, he realized that he had probably been acting far more dismissive than usual lately. He understood why his friend would be concerned. Yamaguchi could easily pick up on his ticks, and that stupid, irritating crush of his was really starting to put distance between them… but, he couldn’t tell him that. Wouldn’t tell him that. It wasn’t necessary.
Yamaguchi was his best friend too…
He wouldn’t put that pressure on him. Not when it seemed like just this was enough to send the freckled boy into an anxious frenzy.
Tsukishima let go of Yamaguchi’s wrist and then quickly flicked the boy on the forehead.
“Ah! Tsukki!” Yamaguchi whined, putting his hand up on the place where it stung.
“You’re being stupid, Yamaguchi.” he said, and they made eye contact once again.
“Huh?”
“I haven’t even decided where I’m going yet either. Stop worrying about such useless things.”
To the common man, the words were most definitely harsh, but they made Yamaguchi smile from ear to ear. It was essentially Tsukki-speak for ‘we can still make plans together, if you want’.
“Sorry, Tsukki.” he said, ever so warmly.
Tsukishima rolled his eyes and started his path downwards to lay down again. He was so tired, and the sudden “heart-to-heart” just took the wind out of him, though before he could reach the mattress, he felt something that actually did take the wind out of him.
Yamaguchi wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s neck and hugged him gently. It caught him so off guard that he quickly tried to get away as his heart shot straight up into his throat.
“Agh, what are you doing!?” he asked, much more loudly than he should have. Yamaguchi still managed to keep his gentle grip through Tsukishima’s flailing.
“Shh.” he made the soft sound and airily giggled. “Sorry it just, felt appropriate.” he explained and slowly pulled his arms away. Tsukishima’s reflexes betrayed him and he quickly stopped Yamaguchi from pulling away.
“Tsukki…”
“Because, friends hug, right?” he asked, though his face wore that shit eating smirk as he teased Yamaguchi.
“Agh! Tsukkiii!” he whined, but it formed into laughter pretty quickly, all the thoughts of their little internet escapade from the night before invading his mind. “Ha ha! Oh jeeze, Tsukki, look at us. We’re one step away from becoming fanart on the internet, ha ha!”
Yamaguchi really just couldn’t stop laughing about that, could he? Tsukishima frowned, he really had to stop bringing that up because it only led to his irritation, every time. He knew he shouldn’t be so outwardly pissed about Yamaguchi’s reaction, he had no right to be. He knew he shouldn’t have the urge to make it stop, but as Yamaguchi’s giggles continued, something inside Tsukishima snapped and he pulled Yamaguchi forward, noses booping together as Tsukishima stopped in his tracks just before his lips collided with Yamaguchi’s. What the hell was he doing!?
Time stopped. At least it felt like it did. Yamaguchi didn’t move, only looked Tsukishima in the eyes, his breath trembling in shock. Tsukishima too, was frozen. He hadn’t meant to do this, and yet there he was about to take it a step too far.
“Ts-Tsukki…?”
Yamaguchi’s bottom lip grazed his own as he spoke the nickname, and just that alone was enough to send a shiver through Tsukishima’s entire body. Awakened by the feeling, Tsukishima quickly pulled back, giving Yamaguchi a gentle shove in the process.
He needed an escape route, and fast. Quickly searching his mind for one, Tsukishima opted for the scoff and smirk combo.
“Ha, you should have seen your face.” he said, immediately feeling really lame, but Yamaguchi didn’t seem to notice because he was too busy looking shocked as hell.
“What the- Tsukki!” he scolded, but Tsukishima had already ducked back under the covers, ignoring any further complaints.
For now he’d just brush it off, hiding everything with him underneath the covers. If he just let it go, they’d fall back into their routine in the morning and he could forget all about this.
Little did Tsukishima know, Yamaguchi’s heart was racing just as much as his, flushed freckled face dimly lit by the moon as he touched his fingers along the spot where their lips had just slightly touched.
As far as Yamaguchi was concerned, this wasn’t going to be so easy to brush off...